As we gathered around the microphone, Sionna Bahaya, known to many as Lady, graced us with her extraordinary tale of spiritual metamorphosis and unwavering dedication to service. Her voice, a soothing balm, detailed the milestones marking her journey—a life-changing encounter with Jesus, her fervent involvement in youth ministry, and the momentous day the Holy Spirit took hold of her. Sionna's tender balance of her profound faith with her compassionate work as a licensed nurse is nothing short of inspiring. Our discussion unfurled the pages of her breakthrough book, "Fearful and Wonderfully Crowned," offering an emotional odyssey that mirrors her own trials and triumphs in seeking God's will and purpose.
The theme of relationships wove its complex patterns throughout our exchange, where I unveiled the raw truth of a significant relationship's end, the intricate web of trauma bonding, and the liberating quest for self-discovery in Christ. We ventured into the challenging dynamics within religious communities, including the sensitive matter of pastoral misconduct. Together, we celebrated the empowering embrace of singleness — not as a time of lack, but as a cherished interval for growth and deepening one's faith. The conversation illuminated the value of such seasons and their role in preparing us for what is yet to unfold.
Concluding our heartfelt conversation, we turned to the crucial role of seeking guidance and forming strong community ties when navigating life's perplexing questions. Our upcoming special service was a prime example, offering a haven for clarity and support. We extended an open invitation to our listeners, encouraging them to journey alongside us in discerning God's perfect will, and to partake in the collective commitment of our community to elevate and fortify one another's faith. This episode is a tapestry of deep reflection, candid vulnerability, and an unwavering promise of hope for anyone seeking a beacon on their path to spiritual awakening.
https://www.instagram.com/twbfpodcast?igsh=MXNybGQwd3ZiYnEwbA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr
As we gathered around the microphone, Sionna Bahaya, known to many as Lady, graced us with her extraordinary tale of spiritual metamorphosis and unwavering dedication to service. Her voice, a soothing balm, detailed the milestones marking her journey—a life-changing encounter with Jesus, her fervent involvement in youth ministry, and the momentous day the Holy Spirit took hold of her. Sionna's tender balance of her profound faith with her compassionate work as a licensed nurse is nothing short of inspiring. Our discussion unfurled the pages of her breakthrough book, "Fearful and Wonderfully Crowned," offering an emotional odyssey that mirrors her own trials and triumphs in seeking God's will and purpose.
The theme of relationships wove its complex patterns throughout our exchange, where I unveiled the raw truth of a significant relationship's end, the intricate web of trauma bonding, and the liberating quest for self-discovery in Christ. We ventured into the challenging dynamics within religious communities, including the sensitive matter of pastoral misconduct. Together, we celebrated the empowering embrace of singleness — not as a time of lack, but as a cherished interval for growth and deepening one's faith. The conversation illuminated the value of such seasons and their role in preparing us for what is yet to unfold.
Concluding our heartfelt conversation, we turned to the crucial role of seeking guidance and forming strong community ties when navigating life's perplexing questions. Our upcoming special service was a prime example, offering a haven for clarity and support. We extended an open invitation to our listeners, encouraging them to journey alongside us in discerning God's perfect will, and to partake in the collective commitment of our community to elevate and fortify one another's faith. This episode is a tapestry of deep reflection, candid vulnerability, and an unwavering promise of hope for anyone seeking a beacon on their path to spiritual awakening.
https://www.instagram.com/twbfpodcast?igsh=MXNybGQwd3ZiYnEwbA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr
Good morning Saints, good afternoon, good morning, good morning, whatever that, you are listening your podcasting. Welcome to the word become Flash Podcasts. We're April 29. It's the last Monday of the month you made it.
Speaker 1:I am so honored today to be back again here and a privilege to be back again here. As you can see, I am not here by myself. We have the Holy Spirit and I have my beautiful, beautiful guest here. I'm just going to go through it. I'm going to read her bio and then we're just going to jump in for you guys to know what is she here today? So today, I'm honored to have you, siona, sitting on my side.
Speaker 1:Welcome to the word become Flash. I'm excited. Yeah, you are Okay. You look so beautiful. By the way, fly, let's fly it. All right, let's jump into Siona biography so you guys can get to know Siona a little bit.
Speaker 1:Okay, siona Bahaya formula knowing as Lady embark on her relationship with Jesus following a profound experience in the year of 2022. Her dedication to Jesus appeared in 2014 within a youth ministry, where she commit her life and receive the gift of tongues and baptism of the Holy Spirit. In 2020, siona was lead by the Lord to Cornerstone Christian Church of God, where she serve as a leader within the custodian team follow up team ministry. Behind her ministry work, siona is a licensed nurse with a heartfelt commitment to serving in vulnerable and traumatized community, in homeless shelter. In her larger time, siona found joy and spott, spott, spott, spott, spott, spott, spott, spott, spott, spott, spott, spott, spott, spott, spottios worship, conduct research, watching documentary and spending quality moment with friend and family. Among interests, other interests. The inspiration for her fearful, wonderfully crown, stemmed from a vision God boasts upon Siona during a season when she grabbed with her identity, she definitely heard an audio voice of God proclaiming you are fearful. Wonderfully made. This divine encounter signified transform and her confidence. Having never, never, never, never, never get it Versions, life lesson and trials, yona compared what is meant to walk in alignment with God perfect will. She inspired to share this proffered revelation with reader, offering a deep, person and vulnerable glimpse into her story.
Speaker 1:Okay, guys, if y'all don't get that, siona is the author, a beautiful author, who wrote this beautiful book. It's right here in front of me, fearful and wonderfully crowned. Guys, this book, grab your tissue because literally you will cry in this book. I mean, there's chapter that you wrote in this book, moment in 2019. And there were and there were what I was actually. I went through it. I experienced, like 2019, it was when I left Christ, when I, when I, when I, I give up on Christ. So so 2019, there's some stories in here that can relate it a lot and that's what we're gonna talk about it. So I'm just so excited. I mean this wonderful book.
Speaker 2:It is available upon on iTunes, on iTunes bookstore, on Amazon bookstore, and also to where, where there's also just anywhere on online, anywhere if you, if you search the book, you can find it like anywhere, even like, um, yeah, so it's mostly just online anywhere, okay, and hard copy how can they get hard copy? That's loading. Okay, it's pending, yeah, so hopefully soon we'll get a hard copy. Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, guys. So for all people that say, man, I don't like reading, no, trust me, this is a short read, it is I'm not a reader either, but I really enjoyed this book. I read it two times.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I really heard it I I two times.
Speaker 1:I read it two times Because it was a healing. It's a, it's really, it's a healing journey of this book and her story is so powerful and wonderful. But first of all, let's go to the first question.
Speaker 2:Anyway, let's get into the book, okay.
Speaker 1:But anyways, grab the book guys. Wonderful book, love it. Okay, first of all, let's go to the to the question. I believe that, like most people that they know you, they will ask that question when did Siona come from? I? Mean we know you are. Most people know you as Lady, lady Bahaya, but now you go by Siona, yes. So take us to that journey.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's a very long journey.
Speaker 1:Okay, just give us a short, just give us a short how you got there.
Speaker 2:So my encounter started at a youth church I used to go to, where I met a really lovely friend that invited me to a youth church and from there God began to work on me. In that church I began to speak in tongues. There, I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit. I got baptized there as well, and from there that's where my eyes were almost like open, like the scales were removed, and I began to seek the Lord for intimacy. At that time I was also praying. I was leading prayers at the church and I was also supposed to go to Vanguard. That's another story.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But the Lord. It's funny. Like the Lord, like he was, he was preparing me for something, but after that the time, he just wasn't like there because, um, yeah, so this course was good to like vanguard school, but it didn't work out. Anyways, I went, I was, and then I was invited to a conference, which was the. It was like a prophetic conference, yeah, and that's when I was like, no, I need more. Like I was just on a fire for God. Like I was, I was hungry, I was a new baby Christian and from there, that's when I joined the other church and, as I'm, things started going crazy. But, um, thank God for restoration, transformation, through that spirit of time. The Lord then led me to cccg and I feel like this is now where I'm finally living, the, the, the God's purpose for my life. Yeah, and from there, like the Lord revealed to me my real name, so it's a long journey.
Speaker 2:So that's just like a little summary, but it's different parts. So the youth church um the cult and then cccg now is like all of this, all this juice yeah, the cold, the cold part.
Speaker 1:Man, guys, like there's some church out there, you don't have to mess that one. Yes, but the cold part like this is I'm not gonna say all, because I want you to actually go and read the book so like there's some more detail about this cold thing, um, the cold, and we'll talk about it yes, like I have.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but just to summarize, like my personal journey, I I will say that I was very traumatized as a little girl, as a child, yeah, and that really affected the way I saw life, the way I interact with people. So, just, there's just a lot of like, there's a lot of pain that went that I went through as a little kid and that's why I believe the Lord allowed me to write this book, just because, like, identity is is a huge thing. It is a huge. It's a huge thing like when you want you don't know who you are.
Speaker 1:You're just walking in a confused field and that's the thing about I like cccg. Um, like our, our spiritual father, really focused on finding who you are like. You focus really on your identity, like what you were creating for add value. Don't waste time, you know. So you actually get all these great, beautiful nuggets um this teaching um, if you don't know who you are like, because some of us, we are walking with other persons in identity when it's not.
Speaker 2:It's not really ours, right yeah, and I think for me I was influenced by a lot of people, mm-hmm, so I wasn't able to just seek God for myself, like who am I really? Because I was. I guess I was like still growing, I was still learning and especially when you're like a baby christian, you need people to guide you mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:So the people that I was trusting. You know, I was very influenced by them, but I didn't really know who I really was. Yeah, so in the book, when I left the church, I felt like I was lost, mm-hmm, which it shouldn't be like that, because God is always with us, like God is. God comes first, yeah, but then again back to identity. If you don't know who you are, mm-hmm, you look for identity in many, many places in relationships, friendships, in churches.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, so, yeah, that's true yeah, and then something like some, some people, you look for your identity in the clubs. You know oh yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean you, you just, and anyway, you just like, like, as I say, like some of us, you're just wearing somebody else's clothes when they're not, they're not supposed to be your clothes and you have to find your perfect you have to find your perfect fit right. So like, yeah, so like, what's the meaning of seeing another?
Speaker 2:oh, that's a good question. So my name means uh, light, light.
Speaker 1:Yes, light, okay, that's why she came all in white right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she came to bring you all light, yeah so because, like you said, like my, I was formerly well, I was born with Leedzi like my parents, named Leedzi yeah, um, but growing up I didn't really like that name, like.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I just didn't really connect to it.
Speaker 2:Mm. And I remember I was selling our old friend. I'm like, yeah, like I don't really like, like in English it's Liddy, right. So I remember at one point I told everybody, I told you, I'm like, okay, my name is not Liddy, it's Leedzi like I'm like gotta make it sound pretty, because I didn't really like the name yeah.
Speaker 2:So I was like okay, leedzi. I'm possibly like okay Leedzi, like I was just so far, so from there. Um, when it was the month of like identity, I remember Apostle was saying how, like some of you guys, that's not actually a real name. So I was like okay. So I remember I had a meeting last time and I'm like that like is Leedzi like.
Speaker 1:Is that my name?
Speaker 2:and he's like no, go pray about it. Yeah, and I was very shocked, yeah, even though I knew like I didn't really connect to that name, like whenever I'll hear Lady F, I'll just feel like I was in trouble. It was very, very weird. I think it was like a spiritual thing, yeah. So, yeah, I went to pray, to pray about it, and then I prayed about it for two to three days no, two days, sorry, two days. And that's when I heard like a still clear voice just Siona, siona.
Speaker 1:And I've never heard that in my life, siona yo at first when, when I heard your name Siona, and I was like, oh this, because um, like there's like it sounds like in in Strayini. You know when you're like see Siona, siona I was like maybe she's seeing yes so I was like I was trying to put two together. I was like Siona. Siona for all my Swahili people like that means that means see you, know you to see. Yeah, beautiful name like I love it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's beautiful, thank god. I mean, once you go deep, deep with the relationship with Christ, like he, like the story of Jacob. You know, when he, when he met, he met Jacob, he's like you're operating in the wrong name, that's not who you are right. And then he changed Jacob identity. You know, I love how God, how, I love how, when you go deep in relationship with God and and then he's like, yeah, he gives you just that pass, be like this, is you?
Speaker 1:this is who you are and that's, and that's what your book is like, really all about, like literally, it's just, it's just bringing you to a light of understanding who you are in relationship, like like you're talking your book about relationship. Yeah, my goodness, that was that was deep that was.
Speaker 1:That was like a knife to me, because I went through the same thing when he came to relationship. I was engaged but I knew it was not the one. Wow, I knew it was not the one, but I was like. I was like, you know, like when you think God is taking his time and then you're like I'll do things on my own right. Yeah, so that was that was me. How did I know?
Speaker 1:Every time I go to pray about it, I ask God. I'm like is this the relationship? I literally I'm just crying. So at some point I thought I was crying tears of joy, but no, it was tears of pain, it was tears of rejection, like. It was tears like God. Well, you know, like when you go pray and God is really silencing you, yes, yeah, so that's what's happening. So I was praying and the Lord was saying and the Lord was not answering me and now cry about it. I would be in my spirit, would be so angry like God, why? But he's like this, he's like this is like, and the Lord was just like I don't know. And then, until I guess it really got confirmed by my spiritual authority due to that, he was not the one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so not all that gay.
Speaker 2:All right, god. Then it turns to the next one, not to the next one.
Speaker 1:Um, at that moment I feel like, at that moment I feel like, um, god gives you know, god cannot give you what you cannot handle. So at the moment I feel like, okay, god is, marriage is not, it's not ready for me yeah like it's. I know I'm gonna be married, but it's not. It's not the season, the season yet. So I, I returned that ring with joy. I, literally I really return in joy to to know that, to know that I have to wait for my father's approval yes, and to know that, um, if God says no, then it's unknown.
Speaker 1:I'm not like. Why should we force it? I mean I mean are we God?
Speaker 2:right. Should we force our relationship?
Speaker 1:when it's not there, so in your book. Oh, my goodness, I am jumping so much. I know, but it's okay. I mean, we love relationships we love. They matter right, relationship matters, oh, you guys we're having a relationship conference at our church that's coming very soon. Relationship matter. Yeah, you guys are better check, so like in your book.
Speaker 2:Okay, let's, let's go, since we're in that road, let's just go, let's just jump in we might just jump in in that book.
Speaker 1:Um, oh, my goodness, there's two relationships I want to touch in the book because um the relationship that you talk with your previous pastor um like um, like gosh, yeah, so that, uh, when you, when you read that because one of the reason that I left my home, my previous home church, was because, you know, we kind of record that's one of our adult pastor was having wrong relationship with some young adults, like you know, there was something happening, it happening. So when you talk about that in the book, it just made me more angry, um, like with the pastor. Yeah, it made me more fired, more angry. It made me remind me why I left church. Yeah, yeah, but then it made me I was like I'm met, like sometimes, like we don't know how to pray for our pastors, you know, yeah, like, because, as me, as a child of God, I hold pastor in a higher standard, like, but then, at the same time, I forgot that they're human. Yes, that's true, that's true, that's true. Anyways, talk, I just want you to give us a.
Speaker 1:You, can you, if you don't have to go more in detail, like you talk about, um, when you leave the church and the guy was the only thing that you have, like you literally say it was me yeah, yeah so, like, just take us back to that journey, because I feel like in um, I feel like in that relationship too, you were trying to find your identity in him a little bit, a little bit, yeah, yes, especially the fact that, yeah, so just take us back a little bit in that journey, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I remember when, um, the Lord was telling me to leave, yeah, um, the church, yeah, um, I guess all I had was like my ex at the time well, my ex, right. So I just felt like, okay, you know, though I invested a lot of time at that church, though I was committed, though I really cared about my church family, I felt like, okay, at least I still have him, at least like something good came out of this right.
Speaker 2:So in that moment it was kind of like uh, like we kind of had like a trauma bond right. It's kind of like okay, it's like like remember, we told each other either we're going to stay together or we're not yeah something like that, because I think this was of the trauma that we also we both went through it with the church because he went with his own thing, yeah something.
Speaker 2:Um, I just felt like, okay, at least, like something good has to come out of all this, like god, like why did I have to go through all this for me to to be empty? At least I have him right. So, um, I guess, since that was the case, it was hard for me to even let go of that relationship, because it was my comfort yeah because when things were going like this, when the thing happened with the pastors, he was the first, the only person I told, just because of the, the way the, the.
Speaker 1:That man said like, oh, if you tell somebody, yeah, like he's like he said that if you tell somebody, everybody will believe that you have a demon yeah, something like that I was like that's manipulation right there right and I believed it for some reason, I know of course you believe you're a baby Christian that you were. You were looking for guidance and and, and this pastor was taking advantage of you.
Speaker 2:Like yeah, yo I that part that made me tear up yeah it's very sad because I never share this with my friends, my family no no one.
Speaker 2:And I think when I opened, opened it up with my ex, I kind of felt like free, like there was no, that burden wasn't on me anymore. It was very strange, but, yeah, me opening up to him it made me feel like I was able to bond with him more. But it was because of trauma. So I guess once we left together we're still together. Obviously, since that time we're still together. So, yeah, he was just basically all I had like. I guess I felt like I still had like somebody that you know I can like be there with me you know, yeah.
Speaker 2:so I think that also played out a big role in my identity, like at least I'm not single and like have nothing, you know, which is like doesn't really matter. Like now that I look back, like it's okay to be single, it's okay to be nice Every time.
Speaker 1:I'm single. I'm just saying Jesus is not ready to share me yet. Amen, amen so like I'm, just like Jesus is not ready to share me because he still needs me to give him more of me, exactly More of my time, and to still know him. So therefore, like, once he's ready, I mean, he's my father, he's my king. There is no way like how the Bible said, there is no way that you are his child, you ask for a gift and he will give you a snake, exactly, exactly.
Speaker 1:So I'm like he is still preparing a king right there, so therefore. I mean for all people that always ask me why are you single? Yeah, this is like. This is my question, mm-hmm. The fact that Jesus is not ready to share me.
Speaker 2:I'm okay with it, amen, amen.
Speaker 1:Oh yes, I'm okay with it. Okay, like they make them um. Some people make single um, single as it's a disease, mm-hmm, like the fact that you're single.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like I haven't started life yet. No, that's not true.
Speaker 1:But but also too, in our, in our, in our community, like, um, I'm gonna say like le papa, le mamala, when you hear you, when you hear certain age. I think that's that's why I was rushing things to my relationships, because I, I heard, I, I reached my 30. Yes, and then, and then, the aunties that were still having conversations about how my eggs it were not, you know. I would not have babies. I need to get married. Come on, so you know I start rushing the process.
Speaker 2:man, don't, don't, don't, don't don't rush it, it's not worth it.
Speaker 1:It's not worth it. And the worst thing is is when you go into a marriage when it's not meant to be your marriage. Good luck, that's the worst. Good luck getting out of it. Yeah, yeah oh gosh, I love it. I mean great, great read Now, um, and we're we're talking about the whole identity thing, so I'm gonna talk about chapter one. Chapter one is all about your identity in Christ which was so beautiful.
Speaker 1:Uh, one of my, one of my favorite. When I read it, chapter one, it was the makeup. Oh, my goodness, I mean I said who's auntie that lied to Siona, that is, it's a sin to wear makeup.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness. That was that was let's talk about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, go, go, go, because it's a real thing like people are like, the devil is usually usually using people to deceive others that if you wear makeup, you're gonna go to hell. So I guess, for me, when I was in that journey of like still discovering who who am I in Christ, like who is Jesus I stumbled upon a video about like if you were to make, if you were makeup, you're gonna go to hell. Pants, you're gonna go to hell. So I was just like, like I didn't want to go to hell. I was like, hey, lord, I want to please you. Like you know, I want you to reveal yourself to me. So I started watching all these videos and people tell me, oh, yeah, they prayed about it and the Lord showed me. Yeah, he showed me. Like, people that make up, they go to hell. It's not good, it's not pure, all these things, you know, it's like Jezebel and everything like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So I was starting to feel condemned because, like I was still, I was like very young, I'm like every makeup, like what's going on here? So I remember I prayed about it but before that, like yeah, before that I threw out everything.
Speaker 1:Everything Girl did us not.
Speaker 2:Everything I'm telling you. I even filmed a whole snapchat video just showing my friend like I'm throwing everything. Even my sister, my mother's, like laughing at me, like are you serious? Like give it to me. I didn't want to give it to them because I felt like if I'm giving them my makeup, I'm basically encouraging them to go to hell, to go to hell. So I'm like no, no, no, I'm gonna throw it out, and I think the only thing I had left was like I like I brought gel and that was like it even mascara no, yeah, anyways, I prayed about it.
Speaker 2:I'm like Lord, like is this true? Like please reveal yourself to me. And then that's when I had a dream, and in the dream, like my hair was actually like out like this. And then it's funny, yeah, I had like red lipstick on like this.
Speaker 1:Hey, yeah, and then.
Speaker 2:I just heard the like the audible voice of God was like you are fearfully a wonderfully crown. And I was just there smiling with my lipstick on bright red lipstick and I was just like okay and so I woke up from that juvenile and then I just wrote, fearfully, a wonderfully crowned, and that's the time yeah, fearfully wonderfully made, sorry, yes, and then that just gave me so much peace. I'm like okay. I gotta just reveal to me that I can wear makeup.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah oh, my goodness, I love that. I love it. Oh god, okay, I loved it. I just I just lost my questions back oh, it's okay it's okay, it's okay, okay.
Speaker 1:Anyways, we're talking about something, psalm 39, which I love. I really love that scripture. I mean, I feel like in chapter one oh man, okay, I lost my question, but I'm just gonna go with it I feel like, if you can just go deep on the on the Bible verse, when God whispered to you that you are fearfully, wonderfully made and with your red lips on like, because I, I feel like, because this pap kiss is all about word of God, the word of God becoming flesh into your life, you know. So I feel like that part like Jesus have intentional of, of, of making his word become flesh into our life and become into our life, into our life.
Speaker 1:So like I feel, like that moment. That was your word, amen, of Psalm 139, amen that became flesh into you like for the fact that God tell you like he answer your question, like it's not a sin to have makeup on. You know, yes, it's not a sin to have makeup on. And for you he show you the vision of, of your big hair, like that and with your lips of Psalm 139, fearfully and wonderfully made like just just take us there just like, yeah, I remember that verse, it literally yeah, it became flesh.
Speaker 2:Like I woke up with so much peace, so much joy and just like confident that you know, despite the outer appearance, I'm fearfully wonderfully made, like I don't need. I don't really need makeup and I can wear makeup if I want to, but just the word that the Lord spoke was all I needed. Being fearfully wonderfully made is basically like he took his time. You know when the word says like to fear the Lord, to have reverence for him. Being fearfully made by the Lord is the Lord having reverence in everything about you, the way you look, the way you talk, like he is careful with all the details about yourself, about the way you smile, your character, your personality, everything. So that word fearfully wonderfully made is just like the key. The fearfully part is all I needed to hear. Amen, like God doesn't. It was all the confirmation. It's not just yeah, it was all I needed to know, yeah.
Speaker 1:So, lady, wear your makeup, wear your makeup, grab that bag, because, yo, this chapter. When you're reading it, you're gonna laugh, you're gonna die. I was literally sitting on the couch when I read it. No, literally, literally. You're not the only one, because at some point there's other leaders that encourage people saying I'm wearing makeup, you know, is a sin and everything. I mean, my goodness, you're sad. Even with no makeup, without makeup, you're beautiful. Exactly, you are beautiful. The fact that he fearfully, wonderfully, made you, it's like to him, god was just giving you a confirmation. He said you're beautiful.
Speaker 2:Yes. Put on your redness, put on your big hair, you're still beautiful to me Because, like you are Like Apostle of the Seas, you are God.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:You are a small G. You are God. So, like the way that God made you, you're literally. We're all characteristics of God. Like the way God made us, we're creating this image.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So you cannot be ugly, you cannot be like. This is we're a part of God. Yeah, so yeah.
Speaker 1:Beautiful. I loved it. I loved it. Chapter two Okay, hold on. Okay, we'll pick up the video. Chapter two. So chapter two you talk about failure is Alright. Chapter two Chapter two you're talking about failure is nothing. Nothing in you. Failure is nothing. Your identity there's no identity. Yeah, failure is not your identity. Yeah, sorry. So also, I like the Bible verse that you quote on chapter two Philippians 4-13. So talk about how Philippians 4-13 literally changed your life during your time in nursing school.
Speaker 2:Can you read it? Yeah?
Speaker 1:Philippians 4-13,. I can do all things through Christ, who's strengthening me. Amen, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, that verse is very prophetic for sure, Just because my nursing journey, just my school journey in general, was like a spiritual warfare and the Holy Spirit just reminded me that you are literally breaking generational curses in your family.
Speaker 2:That's why I went through a lot of attacks with teachers wanting to fail you for no reason. Right, that verse for sure was like an anchor for me, just to hold on to the fact that you know, without God I cannot do it. I can only do it through you, who strengthened me. So whenever I'll go through like a hard, challenging time and like maybe my like a clinical exam or whatnot, I'll just go back to that verse and it will just give me so much life, yeah, yeah, it'll give me so much peace. Yeah, whatever happens, lord, you're the one that's going to give me the strength. But yeah, those are just reminding me that.
Speaker 2:No, you're literally breaking generational curses in your family, especially when it comes to, like the education side.
Speaker 1:Yeah, education side yeah. Yeah, I mean at the education side. I would say, like in our community, the fact that you graduated, that you made that, was already like a battle right. Like as you said, that you're breaking generation curses and everything. I mean the enemy knows the importance of our education right and he fighting, and your wonderful nurse at a wonderful place.
Speaker 1:God is your strength where you are. Amen. I mean, I love the work that. I love the work that you guys do there. It is not an easy field, especially where you are. It's not an easy field, but every day that you guys are transforming life, and every day it's showing that you can do all things through personal strength. Amen, god was literally in that field of yours, amen. So congratulations, thank you. Okay, she's a wonderful nurse guys. Thank you, I love that.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Chapter three you talk about, is my church a cult. Oh, you're gonna like. Okay, that chapter I was dying to, especially the prophecy part. Like I said, okay for me. I would say like as a Christians, like as a strong Christian, because I remember you first invite me to your church. I remember I came, I was like no, I'm not saying Literally, the spirit of God was not even there. I felt like I was like what is she doing in you?
Speaker 2:Yes, I remember, I remember.
Speaker 1:I left quick my eye.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I left.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so like talk about that, it's my church, a cult, like how did you end up being in that?
Speaker 2:space? That's a very, very good question, just because I wasn't aware of the church being a cult. So I'll just go back to the conference that I was invited to, where I was seeing things for the very first time people prophesying, people telling you that you know this person in your family is doing which car for you, this person in your family is doing this. I was just like oh, like I didn't know he could be that deep in God for him to reveal secrets like these. And I'll remember specifically that the prophet, he used the water. He took a bottle of water like this and he blessed it. He prayed over it, and I remember the theme of that conference was like fire or something, fire. So he prayed over it and then he started like he opened it. Hey, that was the anointing. So when the, when the water went upon me, upon my face, I literally felt like fire, like I was like sorry, like jumping. I'm like, oh, my goodness, like this man is powerful, right, so it is the end of the service.
Speaker 2:He called for an altar call for people to join the new church, because he's going to plant a church here in Edmonton and there's going to be somebody that's was going to lead it, which was the person that was that was serving under. Anyways, I joined the church and I had this very. I just felt like it was God. I'm like I need fire, I'm like this is what I need, and to go deeper in the prophetic, in back then I didn't know that I had the prophetic gift, so but then things are just like, oh, I need this, like I dream of, like this.
Speaker 2:Anyways, I remember I went up, went forward and your cousin, she will give me this look like you're, you're doing what, you're joining a different church. Like, what about us? And I just gave her a look like I need to. I think that is telling me to join I'm like this is my home.
Speaker 2:So, honestly, once I joined that church, I was serving a lot. I was in, you know, children's ministry worship. I was doing everything just because the church started from like two people, Right. And I guess, as time went on, there was a lot of problems in the church, a lot of like miscommunication, a lot of just court court what's the word? Like a lot of arguments, random arguments and just like I don't know how to explain, but it was. It's like things just began to, things were just not going right, Right, and the minister will ask people to work extra jobs because they wasn't able to support the ministry. And I remember I did like another job and there's a lot of manipulation, A lot.
Speaker 1:Okay. So how did you know this? How did you? How did your eyes open and say, no, this is a court. Because somebody out there might be going in a church and they think it's a church, but they don't come to a realization that is a court Like how did you end up to that path?
Speaker 2:Okay. So basically, one major thing that I will say is, if the men of God are instilling fear in you, especially when you, when you want to leave, yeah, that's a big sign. Manipulation, that's a big sign.
Speaker 1:Yes, manipulating you.
Speaker 2:Because I remember when I was, when, when I started to like sit down and like talk to my other, like friends, we started connecting things, like okay, this doesn't make sense, just because you guys have to read the book because I can't explain everything I want, but I'll just say one thing. So, basically, the people that were that were that were leading us, they, I guess they had a realization that they were in a cult. Okay, and so they gather all the members and like hey guys, like Just because, okay, another thing is, they went, we went back to the, to the headquarters which was you know which was a different province.
Speaker 2:I was to the name and when they came back, it's like there was a misunderstanding with, like, the leaders there. So when they came back, that's when they started saying guys, I think this isn't aligning with the word of God. I think this may be a cult so they told us all at the same time.
Speaker 2:We're just like wait, what do you mean? And they said you know what? We didn't want to leave without Sharing with you guys what we think, mmm. So if you guys want to leave with us, you can. It's up to you.
Speaker 1:So they were like kind of like convincing you guys want to leave this cult, you can leave, but we're gonna go build it, build up on church.
Speaker 2:Yeah, come with us. Yeah, and obviously like how can we, how are we gonna like? So?
Speaker 1:division start come division like how All the things that the Bible said exactly once you see confusion, division, slander, manipulation. So, those are the son that you can in this. Fine, I'm in a cult. Oh, yes, yeah, don't.
Speaker 2:Don't, it was very strange, because how are you gonna tell your children oh yeah, guys, this is not. This father of yours is not good, so we're gonna leave the office.
Speaker 1:We're gonna follow you, Of course. Who else do we?
Speaker 2:have, like we've been on their ministry for two years, anyways. So that happened and then we're like, oh no, we're gonna follow that. You guys like that. We can't just not like, stay here with who you think is a cult. And Eventually that leader, like the main leader, ended up calling basically saying that we, he's, they stole his members, or something like that, and and he just began to speak curses that you know your ministry is not gonna Sustain. So, anyways, they left the ministry, but we're still in the same church, just with the same members from that ministry.
Speaker 1:You're saying yeah.
Speaker 2:Yes, anyways. But back to your question. I guess to like the whole culting, like, yeah, fear, they'll put fear in you though, manipulate you. Though the intentions may seem right, oh, we don't want to leave you guys. There's an underlining attention with that statement, right, because from there, literally like I think was like to be said they started their own church. Yeah you know, yeah. It's. It's a lot, like it's a lot, and read the book.
Speaker 1:She went more detailed in the yeah, it's a lot about cold, like, if you want to know, like what, what made her girl? Yo? Like, seriously, chapter three, I cried, I cried and I cried, I cried. I'm my spirit break down because of the pastor. A bar, a bar. Trauma in me, again About trauma with pastors, the fact that he was manipulating you and telling you you know, if you talk, you are carrying a demon. But then he was, though he was the one carrying that spiritual rum on you and you were just a little child that we're so hungry for God, we're on fire for God, mm-hmm, and. And he manipulated that are you. That's what. That, what made me and that, what made me? It just my body. Back to my Experience, why I left churches because of pastors like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah you know, yeah. So chapter three I nearly tears flowed out and I believe like I was, I believe like I was receiving my own healing to, yeah, from, like From, while you talk about I mean, you were so in much in detail with this relationship with the pastor and, and for me I was like this is ridiculous. This is really ridiculous. So, guys, really I encourage you, spend time, go grab the book and More, more detail about it. Okay, mm-hmm. Chapter four I was excited. It was kind of exact like you know what I was reading? A movie, your book. It was kind of like a movie to me. Oh right, like chapter 12. I was like how we're breathing. She like. Chapter four for me was like she's describing herself. Chapter four it was my journey to CCCG.
Speaker 2:Oh, yes, yes, okay, it's a favorite chapter.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, so I love that, I love that for you. Chapter four For me chapter four was very personal for me because I kind went in the same experience with you. With you, what you went to, to be like be on fire for God, be hungry, be hungry for God, and then you want to find the right, the right church, because chapter four we, my journey to CCCG is a different journey from yours.
Speaker 1:I talk about For more people like. You want to hear my journey CCG. That's like oh, I guess opening of my podcast. Okay, yes, so like, take us to chapter four, your journey to CCCG.
Speaker 2:That's like the the best part of this whole story.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry. Cccg. So how did you?
Speaker 2:end up in CCCG.
Speaker 1:It's all God honestly, I know what she even said in the book, but yes, take us to that journey.
Speaker 2:Yes, so when I left the cult I felt really lost. I didn't know where to go and I was just traumatized, like I didn't want anything to do with pastors Hmm, with churches. I honestly I would have been that person that was staying at home and like, yeah, I literally like criticizing everything that, everything about church, about church, or a man of God saying so, but thank God for restoration. Yeah, so once particularly, I had a dream, and In this dream I was at church. It was actually CCCG and God used one of my sisters that I grew up with. Can I say names or?
Speaker 1:it's up to you, yeah, so it's Hadassah.
Speaker 2:So I had a dream and I was at church and had that I was there and her husband was also there and back then I think she was Still engaged, but they're both there and I was just talking to the my church. And then I woke up and then at the time I told my ex I'm like what this dream? At this I was at this church and this is person that was in my dream. I haven't talked to her in like seven years. It was that long since I've seen Hadassah talk to her. Yeah, so I just I held on to it. I'm like, okay, okay. And then the Lord led me to another church, which I was there temporarily for about like five months, and the Lord also used another friend there who also, who was the one that actually like invited me to CCCG. And that friendship was just like, so it was like a God of the friendship as well. So that day my friend called me and said hey, sion, is this night prayers happening?
Speaker 1:She called me like that, and CCG night prayers are not joke.
Speaker 2:They're not.
Speaker 1:They're not. If you want to be anywhere on Friday, it's come to CCG night prayers and this Friday.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't know why they'll be watching this, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so like, if you want CCG night prayers, man, you know, when they say you go to war, you go into the enemy camp and you took back everything God is told for you. That's the night prayers, amen.
Speaker 2:Amen, and that time I was really crying out to God. God, like I know, I'm at the church on one, but I didn't feel like it was my home church. I just felt like there's still something missing and I was just wanted. I wanted more of the word. That was my hunger at that time. I'm like God, I need your word. I don't care about the professor, and CCG is all about the word. It's all about the word.
Speaker 1:Like me, my first time entering CCG, the thing that grasped me it was the word. Nothing else the word and I love our spiritual father. He doesn't force you anything. Like literally, he gives you the word. It's either you take it and you go wrestle with your spirit, or either you refuse it or either you reject it. So I love how he teach the word and the word. It's so easy. It's easy to understand that he makes it. He makes it, the word makes sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it flows, it's like honey, I don't know.
Speaker 1:It's sweet, it's very sweet, yes, and bitter at times. We love you, apostle Emmanuel, we love you, daddy. Yes, so I was really hungry for the word of God yeah, really hungry for the word of God.
Speaker 2:And then that's when my friend invited me to the night prayers and literally I remember one of the leaders picked us up and the moment I stepped my foot out of the car I had a deja vu that this was a church that I had a dream about. This was that church that the Lord had showed me.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I remember I asked the girl does this person go here, does this person go here, does that person go here, does that person go here? She's like yeah, literally, when I stepped my foot out of the car, it was a prophetic. It was a deja vu, which was also prophetic, and so when I went there, everything that Apostle was preaching about it was about me.
Speaker 1:Do you remember the topic that he was preaching on? I don't remember the topic. No, no, when I walked to CCC, he was preaching about grace. I didn't even tear up I was like, okay, I guess I'm going to give you Pastor's Grace.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness, yes. And so once I went there, obviously the devil tried to make me feel like that was in the church. He tried to cause confusion, offense, you know, and I remember I literally made up my mind. I'm like you see, god, this is not my church, because, you know, I went to the wrong location. I did this, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I heard that book, I was like okay.
Speaker 2:Yes, so, but again, god arrested me again, and that's when you know what I love about God.
Speaker 1:So your journey, as you're searching, as you're searching like I was, as I'm reading your book, it was taking me back to my own journey, because you were searching a church at that time, in 2019, 2020.
Speaker 2:Yeah 2019.
Speaker 1:So that's the time where I went through depression. And, yeah, that's the time that I went through depression, like I went into a moment of suiciding and everything you know.
Speaker 2:like you know me, I grew up in a very Christian community and everything.
Speaker 1:But so that time that you, the time in the book that you're searching for for a church, me, the time I'm not, I don't want anything to do with the church, that's the time that I was suffering myself with the church. So when you, when you talk about you, talk about that when the offense came, you came, the door was not, was not open because you know, you were in a long location To me. I was like, eh, my sister, just I was like at this point, why you suffer? Then the law was just like rebuking me, like I'm telling you, your book was. Your book was healing to me. It was really healing to me because to see the passion that you had, the hunger, you're like I need a church. Like you were, you were hungry for God, you were hungry for more and you were, and you were hungry for a rights leader, a right leader that it would direct you.
Speaker 1:And then for you walking into the doors of CCCG and and, and I feel like your story is like a pill of onion and the law was start just peeling it, peeling it, peeling it, and look and look and look where you are Amen, You're still not done. Amen, Amen, that is not done with you. I love it. I mean this book. Okay, chapter five we started with it, so I'm not going to go about it. That's what she talked about. The content fit relationship. Okay, so we already. We already went about it, so I don't want to spend more time in that, so let's go. Oh, my goodness. Oh, actually, the book is actually shorter than I thought.
Speaker 1:Okay, chapter six you talk about restoration and transformation. Take us your journey of your restoration and transformation. It's still going. It's still going. But just take us like, because now you're coming to a journey of where you went through pain, trauma, colds and everything, and now you're. Now you're going into a journey where you are, you are serving again, you are trusting pastors again, you are having a relationship with some leader, you are having good, good friendships, you know so that yeah, I guess to basically like put everything in one picture is going to be on the scripture that has literally like changed my life.
Speaker 2:And it's Isaiah 30, verse 21. And it says you will hear a voice in the wilderness telling you to go this way. And no, you'll hear a voice. Okay, you'll find yourself in the desert.
Speaker 1:I don't know the exact verse, but let's read it. Let me just open my. Bible so.
Speaker 2:Isaiah 30, 21 is the verse that has literally Isaiah 30, verse 21.
Speaker 1:21. Yeah, let me just find it. Yeah, it says 21. Okay, it says whether you turn to the right or to the left, you hear you hear. You hear you left. Your ears will hear a voice behind you saying this is the way. Walk in it.
Speaker 2:That literally summarizes this whole restoration and transformation. Yes, because, like I wrote in the book about God's perfect will, I never knew that was. I never really was exposed to that Like perfect will make way. What's God's perfect will? Yes, so when I received this word from my spiritual father, he told me just go pray and ask God for his perfect will. And I was at a point in my life where the decision that I was about to make was going to change my life forever. And then I didn't know that. I didn't know that, but I remember. I took that word because I was literally in the middle of the cave.
Speaker 2:Well, where do I go? Where do I go Because that was when I was in that relationship.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and.
Speaker 2:I was also at this seniority, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I was like okay, and I think in that time you guys were engaged too.
Speaker 2:No. But we were almost there we were planning to get married or what not? Yeah, so I remember that verse, I prayed about it, I prayed about everything like God, what is perfect will, and he began to reveal some things that I shared in the book. But, yeah, the restoration is literally on that verse, because I was at a point in my life where, yeah, I went through the trauma, I went through the cult, I found my home church, but now there's still this person here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Do I choose to leave him or do I bring him with me? Yeah, you know, and the Lord told me very clear that that was not his perfect will and it broke me. It broke me, yeah, it does. It broke me because I was already, I had my, my special father, had the church, and I'm like I have the night too. You know, can I take him too?
Speaker 1:No, Can I just bring him to the well. But you can now bring a donkey to the well and make them drink water. Hey, hey, hey.
Speaker 2:Leave the well to the well Perfect will guys. So that verse has literally transformed my life. From there, once I made the decision you know that's when I received I was able to the Lord called me to the youth ministry at that time yeah, that's when I received a new name. I graduated, began, had an amazing job. It was just like it's like. It's like I started finally living, living my life, like life finally started, like I literally like healing. I fast for a month after that decision. I fasted for a whole month. I just forgot to remove any like soul ties and all that stuff. It was just like it was out of this world.
Speaker 2:That verse was it's like my pillar and actually got that verse tattooed, if nobody knows that, but I have that verse tattooed. Yeah, I was very, I was like I need this verse tattooed, because this verse, dad, I know, I know so would you say, would you say that's your, that's your word that became flesh into your life yes, yeah oh yes oh yes, a short yes. Yeah, that's good, oh yeah that's good.
Speaker 1:Okay, chapter seven. Well, you're you just really already summarized it something. Chapter seven you talk about what you have learned. Um, you have, you have you surround you. You talk, oh, you talk about what you have learned. So my question is here. I think you're really answering my question, so I don't. I don't know if I should read it, because you're really answering. Okay, have you surround your desire to God and pray for his perfect will to be done in your life.
Speaker 2:That's like my motto now in a day, god, your perfect, your perfect will. Because if it wasn't God's perfect, I wouldn't be sitting with you here right now. I wouldn't. This will not be possible. My name will not be Siona. I'll still be the light you know, it's light ever action Siona yeah, so that like, yeah, this whole experience has really taught me to seek God's perfect will with everything, even if my emotions are are there, I don't care, it's all about what does God want?
Speaker 1:yeah, it's not about my emotion, god, I don't want my emotion to lead.
Speaker 2:I want your will to lead yes, like you even in friendships like, if this, now you will let it be, let it, let your will be done, yes oh yeah like I. I don't joke anymore with with God's perfect will. I don't, I can't.
Speaker 1:I love it guys. You see how sure the book is.
Speaker 1:There's only seven chapter, but you learn a lot. You get a lot of not get out of this. This book, most important, this book it's a light about your identity, like know who you are in Christ, and and that's what Siona just literally received. She received her identity and every day she is shining through it. She's walking through it and I and I love seeing her shine. I love seeing the shine. So thanks, siona, thank you for coming to the podcast, love it. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2:I love, I love and I know God is gonna use this for cause my to me. Amen. We thank God, amen amen.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right, let's all right. My saints, we have come to the end of it, but you guys know that before we, before we go, the purpose of this podcast, we want to introduce you guys to Jesus amen we want to lead you. We want to lead you to the world we don't want to make you drink the water yes, yes, we want to lead you to a gray shepherd.
Speaker 1:You know, like, like, literally. When the Bible says he is the way and he is the truth, it's, it's real, he is the way, he is the truth. I mean with this, we are living. We're living on the last day, literally we're living on the last day. We're anytime, any moment you'll. You will hear a trumpet.
Speaker 1:You will hear a trumpet so if you want to be part of this light of restoration and transformation right now, I want you, two guys, to invite me, to just say a simple prayer here with me and to invite Jesus as your personal savior. In Christ, and and and Siona have this prayer in her book too, so I would love it. So I'm just gonna read it like for sure, yes, see she have this, um, this prayer in her book.
Speaker 1:I mean literally. I mean grab your tissue, because that book, oh lord it's, it's a hailing journey in the book and that's what you will receive. Okay, so let's just pray a prayer of salvation. This is, lord Jesus Christ. I believe you. I believe you died for me on the cross of Calvary. I know I am a sinner. Today I come to you. Forgive me of all my sin and to make me a brand new creation. I accept you as a personal Lord and Savior. Thank you for forgiving me and make me a born again in Jesus name, amen. So, friends, if you guys have seen that prayer, please don't let that, as I'm gonna always say, don't let that prayer sit with you in your living room. This is a moment where you want to connect yourself to a great community amen, okay, you gotta be part of a great community in order for you to grow in this beautiful light.
Speaker 1:Okay, in order for you to grow in this beautiful light. So I encourage you, guys, if you're a wonderful, great city, the city of champion, the city of, Edmonton and you don't have a home church. See you now and I we invite you to our home church at cornerstone Christian church, oh, god, oh yes, see you now. You know the address yes, yeah, 9249, 50th street northwest in Edmonton.
Speaker 1:Um, as I said all the time, I'm gonna repeat myself we have three, three wonderful services for you guys more my morning. Wake up people. If you're not a morning wake up people. You want to have your bed a little bit longer? Then come 11. If you're 11 o'clock, it's not my giving. Okay, come on. Do you see? Do you see how many?
Speaker 2:many, many that they have for you yes, it's a whole buffet and also to you don't just have to wait on Sunday.
Speaker 1:We have a wonderful service on on thursday. Thursday, thursday, and six thirty it's late. So we have, we have wonderful five percent. This five percent is actually great because you get to come and ask all the burning questions, like I also take all the questions, like questions that you have. You know, you know you're having trouble, so I'm gonna say this my sister, brother, you know, I'm in that community, yeah, okay, you made Jesus our community. Yes, so that right. So thank you for listening to the war, because I should broadcast today, and thank you for being part of beautiful.
Speaker 1:Oh, you have beautiful wonderful me, amen, amen, amen amen okay, so did you have any last words that you want to say?
Speaker 2:yes, um just seek God's perfect will. If you don't understand what you're going through right now, seek God's perfect will. Ask him he is ready to to guide you see you guys welcome back in the months of may be.
Speaker 1:God bless y'all. See you you.