Beholding Jesus

What happens when you encounter a song that deeply transforms your spiritual journey? This month, we're celebrating the start of June with gratitude, diving into the impact of Idunu Oluwa's album "He Must Increase." Our guest, the inspiring worship leader from Cornerstone Christian Church of God, shares her powerful testimony of coming to Christ and her mission to lead others to experience God's love. We unravel the poignant song "Beholding Jesus" and its role in guiding us through life's challenges, offering solace and direction in times of need.

Imagine breaking free from a judgmental church environment and discovering a community that truly embodies love and acceptance. My personal journey of overcoming religious trauma and finding a new spiritual home at Cornerstone Church is a testament to the power of genuine connection. In this episode, I recount my childhood experiences and the transformative shift that occurred when I embraced the warmth and support of my new church family. The creation of my first album, a labor of love and resilience, mirrors my growth both spiritually and artistically, highlighting the themes of love, acceptance, and creative expression.

What if the scars we bear are not symbols of our pain but markers of our victory? We explore the profound insights on focusing on God's scars as emblems of peace and triumph. Through personal anecdotes and practical strategies, we discuss the power of resilience and faith in overcoming life's adversities. Our conversation emphasizes the importance of claiming our identity as God's children and using scripture to find strength in trials. Whether you're seeking inspiration, a deeper understanding of faith, or strategies for mental toughness, this episode offers a powerful narrative of hope, resilience, and the undeniable strength found in faith.

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Transcript

Mariam Kapongo: 0:00

Welcome to the Word Becomes Sing. Welcome to the Word Becomes Flash Podcast. Happy new month. This is a brand new month. We're finally in the month of June.

Mariam Kapongo: 0:10

The month of May was a beautiful, wonderful, great month. A lot of things happened here in May. We had amazing guest speakers here in May. First we have Finding your Identity in Christ with Pastor David, and then also we have the Blessing being Under Spiritual Authority with my only, the only, pastor Emmanuel, my spiritual authority. So we are grateful that God is still continuing doing wonders in this podcast. So I want to welcome you guys.

Mariam Kapongo: 0:43

But before we go further, you know the drill here we're going to open up with the word of prayers and after that we're going to open up the word of prayer. We're going to open up with the scripture for the day and then we'll go in, because the Lord has not left us alone. The Lord has brought us another wonderful guest speaker that I'm just so excited to dive in. So let us open up with the word of prayer Amen. That I'm just so excited to dive in. So let us open up with the word of prayer Amen, father. In the mighty name of Jesus, lord, we want to say thank you, god, you are good, you are wonderful, you are kind, o Lord, for bringing us to a brand new month. O God, see how far you have brought us, o God, from January to February, to March, my Father, god, to May, and now we're entering it into a month of June. Lord, that, this month of June, it will be our best month yet to come. Oh Lord, we thank you, jesus, we love you, my Father, god, lord, we say, come and take over this word today. Oh God, we invite you, god, to come, sit here with us. Oh God, we invite your presence and we invite your angels and we invite my Father, god, the king of kings and the lord of lords, to be glorified in jesus, mighty name. We are prayed. Amen, amen.

Mariam Kapongo: 1:55

Let us open up with the word for the word of today, today. Today, the scripture that we are focusing on is the word of second corinthian, 13, 18. I am reading from esv version. And we all call with unveiled face beholding the glory of the lord, and are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another, for this come from the lord, who is the spirit. Amen for today. That's your word for today. Hold on into the word of 2 Corinthians 3.13. Now we're going to go deep. Why was that scripture available for us? So today, as I said, I am not alone in this couch again. I have the Holy Spirit and, of course, I have my sister sitting right here beside me, my sister Idunu Oluwa Amen.

Mariam Kapongo: 2:48

So, before I let Idunu Oluwa jump in, we're going to go into a little bio so you guys get to know Idunu better and understand why the Lord has brought her into this podcast, hallelujah. I'm going to read her bio. Idunu Oluwa was born into a Christian family, did not give her life to Christ until she was 18 years old and didn't really understand the love of Jesus until four years ago when she joined Cornerstone Christian Church of God. Idunu has a passion of drawing people back into intimacy with the heart of their Heavenly Father so that they can experience God's love and desire in purity. Idunu is a worship and privileged to serve as a worship leader at Conor Stone Christian Church of God in Edmonton.

Mariam Kapongo: 3:40

Idunu received grace to release anointing music from the word of prophecy spoken over by her spiritual father, apostle Emmanuel Adeusim, and has so far released three albums and 22 songs total. The song Beholding Jesus was received in 2023 from a place of vulnerability with the Holy Spirit and has been blessing to many by Jesus grace. So, saints, put your hands together and welcome Edwina on the Word Become Flash podcast. Welcome, sis, it's so good to have you. Amen. We're talking about one of your album here yeah um, he must increase.

Mariam Kapongo: 4:28

Yes, I mean that was a, that's a, that was a powerful album. First, I mean the title of the album and the song beholding Jesus. Oh, what a powerful song. I'm gonna give you a little testimony how I learned to that song. Um, I, I mostly know you as a, as a worship leader, but I remember, um, I was going through a situation and I was just doing my devotion downstairs because when I do my devotion I have, I'll have a worship playlist. You know, I'm just playing along and I was just asking god. I was like God, what's next? Like what's going on, like what's next. And then your song, out of nowhere, just came. That first time, first time I never download it.

Mariam Kapongo: 5:13

I never download your music. Your song just slide into my playlist. Wow, interesting, yeah. And I said, okay, I was like, okay, god, like what are you trying to say here? And then, when I just listened to the lyrics of the song, I break down like a child. Well, I just break down, I just break down, I just break down. I was like beholding Jesus. So I think my question was answered, that God was answering me. Like my walk, sometimes, like you think, christianity walk, you think it's an easy walk, but God was telling me the goal is to hold on me. Right, the goal is to hold on my word. And then, when your song came, the lyric says I just want to be like him and I was like yeah, I was.

Mariam Kapongo: 6:05

I was like that's, that's where we're trying to get as children of God, right it's to, it's to hold them and to be more example like him.

Idunnu Oluwa: 6:14

So what a powerful, amazing song and amazing lyrics that God Request, god Request God, and I, you know I like how you said that you you know that song came in a place of, I guess, challenges and probably pain yeah um, and that's where that song was received. That was the place I was. It was probably the most challenging season of my life yeah entirely.

Idunnu Oluwa: 6:39

And I remember just waking up I don't remember, maybe 2 am something and I just sat down. I was like God, what is going on? I don't understand what's going on, and in peace, I was really seeking a love from God at that time. And then I said you know what? I want a song. And before then I hadn't released any albums or any songs or anything. I'd been getting melodies here and there or tunes, but I didn't really get any song. So that day the holy spirit was like okay, just think about the scripture what scripture describes what you want right now.

Idunnu Oluwa: 7:14

Yeah, and I was like, okay, every my world is crazy. Right now I just want you. I just want you until today. Today, that's one of the very few songs that came with the words, the tune, the word, everything came the same way. The only thing I had to change was probably one or two words on one line and that was it. But it was received that way and I'm really grateful to God for the privilege. Every time people talk about that song, I'm like, yeah, I can't really take credit for that song because it came as it was coming. I was singing, I had my eyes closed and I chose. So he asked me for what scripture, like I was saying, and I said second corinthians 3, 18 I'm like I just want to see you.

Idunnu Oluwa: 7:59

That's all. This is my life is giving I was planning for this episode.

Mariam Kapongo: 8:05

I didn't even know that the scripture that the Lord gave you no way, no way, I didn't, as I was planning. I was asking God. So what's the word? What?

Idunnu Oluwa: 8:13

is the word.

Mariam Kapongo: 8:14

And then God led me to that scripture and I was like that's the scripture for the month of June, and I was like, look at God, I love the things he does. Like, look at god, I love, I love the things he does as apostle. As apostle emmanuel said um, one word from god can change a whole generation. Yes, one word. And and god did not just give you one word, he gives you a whole lyrics, a song that can change somebody's situation.

Idunnu Oluwa: 8:41

Like I love it and every time I listen to it, I tell people this every time I listen to it, it doesn't seem like it's. It's my song, like I said, like because, it was received. So every time I listen, I listen like somebody who is listening to somebody else who sang the song. It's always a blessing to me because I know that I know where it came from and I listen, it's like it's still blessing me because it's it didn't come from me.

Idunnu Oluwa: 9:03

It did not come from me, it didn't I love jesus, I love god.

Mariam Kapongo: 9:08

That's amazing. That's so amazing like I'm really shocked because I was like what's the scripture? And then god like jump into place, anyways, I think we talk about it. Um, for the first question that I have for you, what specific experience or moment lead you to a deep understanding of jesus love? Four years ago at cornerstone christian church of god? Yeah, you wanna?

Idunnu Oluwa: 9:33

take us to that journey sorry love it, we're good. Okay, let's get your bike. I can't go upstairs, by the way, oh god, okay, it is well. So what moments helped me understand all?

Mariam Kapongo: 10:01

right. What specific I love this, anyways. What specific experience. Thank you, all right. What is specific? I love this, all right. What specific I love this, anyways? What specific experience or moments lead you to a deeper understanding of Jesus' love? Four years ago, at Cornerstone Christian Church of God, yeah, my background in church very interesting. Take us there. We all have those stories take us there.

Idunnu Oluwa: 11:18

I, I grew up in the church like I said um. Parents were in the choir, worship leaders, um. So I've been in church forever, but I was highly traumatized. I was in the church where if you did something wrong, if any of the youth did something wrong, they would announce announce it on the stage and say yeah, don't be like this person, this youth.

Idunnu Oluwa: 11:39

And it was a church of about maybe 3,000 people. It was a big church, yeah. So I remember just wanting to explore as a youth and I really loved modeling, so I tried to go into modeling and then I was really sneaking to do it because one other girl in the church had tried to do it and then they announced on the pulpit yeah so she's a very bad girl. None of the youth should be. It's a huge church. So that's how I grew up Not experiencing love. I thought the church was very judgmental. They didn't really understand what people went through and they just wanted to just judge pretty much. So coming to Cornerstone was really, really a game changer for me. I remember my first day coming. Actually, we had joined online for maybe two, three weeks and I remember receiving a message saying oh, welcome to.

Idunnu Oluwa: 12:34

Cornerstone. You know I signed up for the guest on the guest form. First time guest. Oh, welcome to Cornerstone.

Mariam Kapongo: 12:37

You know I signed up for the guest on the guest form. First time guest yeah.

Idunnu Oluwa: 12:39

Welcome to Cornerstone. I just remember reading that message. I'm like oh, who does that? Like it was so. It was so much loving it.

Mariam Kapongo: 12:46

The message alone.

Idunnu Oluwa: 12:47

I was like, okay, you know what, I'll be there, yeah. So I came in person and it was Pastor Ebukun that I first met and she just came. I've never seen her, I never knew her before. Then she came to the back where we sat and she was like very joyful, I know how she is, oh my god, so good to meet you. It's your first time. Like yeah, she's like, oh, I love you guys so much. She was so loving.

Idunnu Oluwa: 13:12

I'm like, okay, that's, that's, that's me so that was my first first experience walking in and coming.

Mariam Kapongo: 13:18

So first time you experience, you're just like why there's just so much.

Idunnu Oluwa: 13:22

Yes, the joy is just so much and the welcoming it's just like, uh, like you're like, why are they're so weird? Like, and it helped me grow like understanding what love is like, the deep, deep love and apostle emmanuel has has explained that a lot and when he talks about love management, right, like love is, we have so many misconceptions about what love truly is, but what god's love truly truly is, I've experienced it yeah, so scheduling oh my god, everybody is busy now, what inspired the time?

Mariam Kapongo: 13:56

the theme of the lyrics of the album, like we already talked it was.

Idunnu Oluwa: 13:59

It was definitely, definitely like you really say, but I'm really grateful for those that worked with all the instrumentalists the vocalists, I mean.

Mariam Kapongo: 14:07

Beholding Jesus is just one song on the album, one of them actually from.

Idunnu Oluwa: 14:10

Conestog yeah.

Mariam Kapongo: 14:12

Conestog is full loaded. No, it was. That was one thing I knew, that the people was one thing that I knew that God used, god sent them to make that so I didn't have so many challenges like I've never desired apart from, at that point, desired to just otherwise love Jesus the way I want.

Idunnu Oluwa: 14:36

I think songs come easily when you're in pain yeah, honestly, most of the songs so that's why I didn't have to. I didn't have to think too much, which is interesting, and a lot of the songs so this was like your first album out of the 22 songs yeah, most of the songs came easily the fact that it was my first album too. I didn't know a lot about what mixing was, what mastering is.

Mariam Kapongo: 15:03

There's so many technical terms that I had to find out but then those things were so very difficult, and then we had to change it. The album itself. Thank god for the people who provided. I love that. Okay, so how does this album represent your goals as an artist?

Idunnu Oluwa: 15:23

because I didn't want my face to be on it. I'm like, why would my face be on it first album.

Mariam Kapongo: 15:27

Yeah, like how did I? Agreed, it's beautiful, it's beautiful when it just popped on my iTunes, when it just popped up on my iTunes.

Idunnu Oluwa: 15:37

When it just popped up on my iTunes, wow, the glory of Jesus. What was the inspiration? But no, everything honestly just came from what I could get.

Mariam Kapongo: 15:48

More and more seeking, like asking for iPad, iphone.

Idunnu Oluwa: 15:51

As a person, as a person Before then I still do. I loved.

Mariam Kapongo: 15:58

I still do those things but, that among just so, what challenge you faced while you were making this album. Oh, number one thing to me.

Idunnu Oluwa: 16:09

Take us to the challenge, but I know a lot of people, experience when it comes to working with people, it's getting scheduled to a life, oh Jesus.

Mariam Kapongo: 16:21

That day is when there was only you know maybe 80% of the team. You know everybody has different commitments, different schedules, so many other things going on, but I would say the schedule was the scheduling was something. Oh, so this was like your first album that was out of the 22 songs. So that's really true. That's you know. Yeah, at this point in my life, all of Jesus, the fact that it was my first album too.

Idunnu Oluwa: 16:46

I didn't know a lot about.

Mariam Kapongo: 16:47

That's nice, making music, all of.

Idunnu Oluwa: 16:49

Jesus or nothing. There's so many technical terms that I had to find out.

Mariam Kapongo: 16:53

What do you hope the listener take away from this album, as they're listening to this album or to your other album?

Idunnu Oluwa: 17:00

but specific for this one, all the songs have.

Mariam Kapongo: 17:06

How does this album represent your growth as an artist?

Idunnu Oluwa: 17:10

They all have different things that they speak about. First album One of the songs on the album. I think for me, that album showed me that I had grown from a different place where I walked with Christ. So there's so many different things that everyone can think of what I could get the major thing is I was not, I was not that bad?

Mariam Kapongo: 17:40

I was not that bad because before then, you know, I was still doing outer cheeks. I loved it, so I was still doing those things but that album just really brought out what was what the Lord had really grown inside of me, which I have more intimacy.

Idunnu Oluwa: 17:56

So for me that album just really exposed the fact that I needed God more than I thought I did, so that that's what I would say is really just showed my growth, my spiritual growth, where it was like you know what God is, you and whatever challenge you're going through to live with Christ, to die against where it's like. You know what God is, you and whatever challenge you're going through. This is Christ. He died against everything. All I'm here for all I've done. I always think of the story of Peter. It's just you.

Mariam Kapongo: 18:22

And I just want more, I want more. And the only time he drowned, when he decided to drown, was when he just died off, and that's really what sustains us is when we actually just keep our gaze on Jesus. And that's what sustains me. And I know that it will be the same for every other person. What do you hope the listener takes away from?

Idunnu Oluwa: 18:42

this album Every time I listen to it. It's been the author and the finisher of my faith. So that's really what I want everybody to take away from this album All the songs have, even though they all have the gaze of Christ, don't compromise, don't compromise, don't compromise If you stay with him he'll take you to the end.

Mariam Kapongo: 18:58

He says I know the plan that I have for you in terms of peace, but good to give you an expected end. So how can you really get to that end?

Idunnu Oluwa: 19:09

No matter what, I'm going through, so stay with Christ.

Mariam Kapongo: 19:12

Stay with Christ. I love that because one of the things as I was listening to that of your song, one of the things that God is teaching me is the fact that when we're children of God, we think that it's like yeah, yeah, yeah so. But God was, god was showing me like. You see, the like he was showing me, like literally like the scars that he went through. Right, they're not scars of pain, you know, because sometimes the enemy can trick your mind.

Mariam Kapongo: 19:53

Be like are you sure you're a child of God? Look, are you sure he's gonna come through for you? You know, but the moment that you fake, you like you focus just on him, like he was just showing me, like the moments you just focus on my scar, understand that you're gonna have a peace, you're gonna have joy. You know it's gonna come. Like he's not supposed, he's not. Like always we always think that, just because of being god's children, we're always just gonna have the a like, like that, yeah, here's your a, but you gotta get through it, you gotta get work through it, you know so we were healed, all those other things.

Idunnu Oluwa: 20:29

If he said by his stripes we were healed, it means that the time of the Lord has come for us exactly.

Mariam Kapongo: 20:43

So those things will come. It's just focusing on the peace on the bruises, on the stripes everything ends, and then also just knowing that you're already victorious at the end of the days, that the moment that you claim that I am a child of god, whatever trial that the enemy just bring to you, understand that at the end of the day you're already a winner, as long as you just stayed with him and then you just hold on him. You know so when we're children of god.

Idunnu Oluwa: 21:14

We think that it's going to be easy because you know like you know like yeah and how that, just yeah, it doesn't necessarily change. But god was, god was changing our mindset.

Mariam Kapongo: 21:26

It changes what you see, like he was showing me, like, really, like they're not scars of pain, you know, because sometimes the enemy can trick your mind like are you sure you're a child of god?

Mariam Kapongo: 21:42

I love it, I love it, I love it. Now, which scripture in the bible has become flesh that you hold on daily when you face challenge like you were just showing me, like the moment okay, okay, that's my, my scar, so I'm really grateful that my grandparents were gonna have joy. You know it's gonna come. Yeah, like he's not supposed to, that's he's not like always. We always think that, just because of the beauty, like that, yeah, here's your egg, but you gotta get through it.

Idunnu Oluwa: 22:11

But it just did not feel like it was, you know.

Mariam Kapongo: 22:15

So the thing about scripture that says, yeah, it's just not giving me better, we were healed.

Idunnu Oluwa: 22:20

There's all these other things, but if he said by his stripes we were, healed. It means that there are times that we were going to take a position Otherwise why did he say that? Why did he so? Those things will come. It just focus on what's going on.

Mariam Kapongo: 22:32

It's not giving me so the scripture pretty much talks about also just knowing that you're already victorious at the end of the day the moment that you claim that I am a child of God, whatever child that you just gave to you understand that at the end of the day, you're already a winner as long as you just stayed with him and then you just hold on him, you know. So when you said that, I just remembered how we meditate and we say those things I could resonate with. That was the only part.

Idunnu Oluwa: 23:04

So what I took that scripture to mean and how that just doesn't necessarily change so now, every time I go through anything, it changes our mindset, it changes what we're thinking, it changes what we're believing and really just focuses on me.

Mariam Kapongo: 23:19

And that's the word that formed my foundation, that's the word that burst me pretty much, so that's always what. I go back to. I love it. I love it. Every season, though there's always a word. Now, which scripture in the Bible has become flesh? So when I don't necessarily hear, a word, word from god for a season I'm going to go back to that, so I'm really grateful that my birth parents not everybody might have that privilege of having a scripture or knowing the scripture, that scripture did not become flesh on the world.

Idunnu Oluwa: 23:50

But there is a scripture because I've had the scripture. I'm like okay, but I just did not feel like tell them.

Mariam Kapongo: 24:09

Tell them he was. He was here in may. He was here in may. You know you're sitting where he was sitting, so the scripture pretty much talks about what's before and then after states I write things down and then praise and things like praise and things like that.

Idunnu Oluwa: 24:35

I'm like yeah, it's the only thing I really relate to. Sounds like a question Different seasons have of Jerusalem, so that was the only part that I really could. If there's nothing I really receive, it's my blessing I could resonate with.

Mariam Kapongo: 24:50

And then also, what are you facing through right now? What are you facing through right now? What are you facing through right now? And then, what are you believing God? For? What is the scripture that in this season you said different scripture in this season? So in this season, what are you standing on?

Idunnu Oluwa: 25:09

I'm trying to trap me.

Mariam Kapongo: 25:10

I know I don't want to sit here because that's scripture, because I don't want anyone to think that's true, I'm like oh yeah, that's true. Wow, that's a great question.

Idunnu Oluwa: 25:23

To be honest, I'm just going back to this season now, and maybe not everybody might have that privilege of having a great scripture or knowing the scripture that formed them, brought them had that challenge. It's just a season of deep hunger and deep tears.

Mariam Kapongo: 25:40

I just chased enough time to find out what that's like, but that foundational scripture is very, very important. Even 2 Corinthians 3.18.

Idunnu Oluwa: 25:50

That's my scripture. That's my scripture.

Mariam Kapongo: 25:53

Rachel, thank you so much. Tell them your scripture. He was here in may. He was here in may, you know.

Idunnu Oluwa: 26:00

Yeah, you're sitting where he was sitting yeah, so you know, I mean, we always talk about our scriptures. You know, in christ, and this is our, this is our possible man, and I'm like ah, she knows so much, but I want to know more.

Mariam Kapongo: 26:18

I write things down too you know.

Idunnu Oluwa: 26:20

So that's honestly, that's so.

Mariam Kapongo: 26:23

It's second commitment, it's actually it's actually, it's actually written through all you, the way you know, the way you serve at church, the way, the way you leading, the way you leading us into worship. You know, like the first time I remember the first time I walk into Cornerstone.

Mariam Kapongo: 26:39

The first time that I met you, you were on stage, you were leading us worship and then, when there is a season, that Apostle, I've given you the opportunity to preach the word of God, where you leading us worshiping the Father in spirit and truth. That word, that word was power. I was like I was just sitting, I was like worshiping the god in spirit and truth. Every time you just take us, I do something in my I really, I really, I really, I really, I really love God. Like first time, when I I'm not even gonna, let me, let me just jump into a little quick story. Yeah, okay, let me just jump into a quick little story about you Cause, like how I met you, because you know, at church, you know we, we, we seen each other Right. So the day when God gave me that song I mean he gave me he's like this is next, this is next for the topic. And then, and then, when God asked me to approach you, I was like I was like I was like oh.

Idunnu Oluwa: 27:49

God, no, god, that looks scary.

Mariam Kapongo: 27:57

No, you're not scary, it's just. I think for me it was just like rejection. I was like I don't want to. I was like I was like ah, it took me. God gave me the word, I'm daddy, daddy, it took me like a week to come up with a word it's actually.

Mariam Kapongo: 28:13

It's actually I know just like In a, a portrait. You're just like what's that? It's Ashley, I know. Just like In a loving environment, in a loving environment, the enemy just was just holding me. So, anyways, I just, I just thank God how he worked everything together, so and then, when there was a season, that Apostle gave me the opportunity to preach the word of God. Are you leading us Worshiping?

Idunnu Oluwa: 28:37

the Father in spirit and truth.

Mariam Kapongo: 28:40

That word, that word was power.

Idunnu Oluwa: 28:43

I was like I was just sitting there.

Mariam Kapongo: 28:47

I was like worshiping the God in spirit and truth. It's right there, it's available. Every time you just say God is worthy, I don't think God is going to love me. God, I don't think God is going to love me.

Idunnu Oluwa: 28:59

I don't think I'm going to go close.

Mariam Kapongo: 29:01

I really, I really love God first time when.

Idunnu Oluwa: 29:08

I'm not even going to. I love you.

Mariam Kapongo: 29:15

I would just be building it Like ah God, Because you know I try. There's no love here. We see each other. Okay, Go ahead, Ask me the quick question before we wrap up.

Idunnu Oluwa: 29:24

So my question for you is he gave me.

Mariam Kapongo: 29:26

He's like this is next, this is next for the topic, and then when God asked me to approach you, so what scripture are you holding? On to what scripture am I holding on to this season, man? There are so many, Actually, in this season right now.

Idunnu Oluwa: 29:42

I'm not scared.

Mariam Kapongo: 29:44

No, you're not scared, it's just, I think. For me it was just like there are so many scriptures that I can Okay right now in the Bible, because I'm reading the whole Bible so I'm in the story of Samuel with David, right where David faces so many challenges and stuff like that, we're so trying to kill David for no reason. So, ashley, that's the season right now that I'm holding.

Idunnu Oluwa: 30:11

I feel like um worked.

Mariam Kapongo: 30:14

I feel like everywhere that I'm just trying to go. It's just so worse. They've just been throwing at me and God just keeps saying Miriam, look up to me, don't look up into any man, just look up to me, because I'm like. Sometimes I'm like God, this hurt, I don't want to do this anymore. You know my journey, as you said. You said that you grew up in a Christian environment.

Idunnu Oluwa: 30:46

I grew up, too, in a christian environment you know um, but where I grew up, too, like I really did not see the love.

Mariam Kapongo: 30:49

Love of christ, that's yeah, so I mean it was.

Idunnu Oluwa: 30:52

It was giving harsh environment there were so much rules and then you know, you know as a teenager, there's things that you wanted to explore, like I think, I think 2019 when, um, like my church, like you know.

Mariam Kapongo: 31:12

so I was like okay, this is the moment that I, I don't need, I don't need Jesus, let me go try. So there's a season, that, where I really was not holding on to him. So this season, he's just telling me Miriam, no matter how, it hurts. Just look up to me, you know. Just look up to me.

Idunnu Oluwa: 31:34

So that's the season right now that I am.

Mariam Kapongo: 31:39

I just want to be all them. I want a desire to look like him, just as your song said, you know. I want a desire to be like him, to talk like him, to think like him. You know, if anything, that I can give him. It's just have the intimacy with him, so Ashley that's the season, right now, that I'm holding.

Mariam Kapongo: 31:57

I feel like everywhere that I'm holding, yeah, I feel like it's interesting I feel like everywhere that I'm just trying to go, there's just sores that they've just been throwing at me and god just keeps saying maria, look up to me, don't look up into any man, just look up for me.

Idunnu Oluwa: 32:10

When I do it, sometimes I didn't even think I had love. I don't want to do this anymore.

Mariam Kapongo: 32:14

You know like, um environment, you know my, my, my journey, um like as you say, you say that you grew up in.

Idunnu Oluwa: 32:21

But if we can all look, back.

Mariam Kapongo: 32:23

I grew up in a christian environment but where I grew up to like, if I look back, I really did not see the love, love of christ, that's yeah.

Idunnu Oluwa: 32:34

So I mean it was receiving it, and also in giving it, and how did that come to be?

Mariam Kapongo: 32:41

It didn't come because you are just a young man. You know as a teenager, there's things that you wanted to explore. It was just pretty much a big whole thing, I think 2019, when I'm like in my church.

Idunnu Oluwa: 32:52

It was just and that was. It was nothing. There was no tutorial of love and safety, separating and stuff like that Step. There was no tutorial on love and safety.

Mariam Kapongo: 33:00

Step one you do this Smile at people? No, those things just came. I don't need Jesus, let me go try. So there's seasons where I really was not holding on to him.

Idunnu Oluwa: 33:12

So this season he's just telling me, no matter how hard it is, just look up to me, by God's grace. I had desired in my life. It crops to me that I, I, you know, I just look up to me. So that's the season, I'm just. I just want to, I just want to be old and I want a desire to look like him. Just like a child. You know a child.

Mariam Kapongo: 33:33

They know how to desire to be like him, to talk like him, to think like him, to talk like him, to think like. And then they pick, they pick it up, they learn default, but you pick it up again. You just have.

Idunnu Oluwa: 33:41

You just kissing and then they're just looking they grow up and they, they have so many. Maybe they start to talk about their mom and it's just, it's just this way honestly anything you want for me when I joined, I didn't even think I had love inside of me, because just looking, just looking.

Mariam Kapongo: 34:06

I will look in different ways. Through the words, what do you mean?

Idunnu Oluwa: 34:11

through the words.

Mariam Kapongo: 34:13

I'm a. Yes, that's right. I'm about to give it to them right here. Okay, all right, saint, we've come to a conclusion. So this month of June, as we say, the focus is to behold, behold on Christ. So how do we behold on Jesus on?

Idunnu Oluwa: 34:36

Jesus.

Mariam Kapongo: 34:36

We behold on Jesus when we choose to look like him when we submit to his word and meditate on his word. We worship him, we seek him in prayer. We allow the Holy Spirit to help us when you face trial and tribulation. Stand upon the word of God. I invite you, please stand upon the word of God and invite you, please stand upon the word of God. And also, too, for my listener out there, go listen to her song Beholding, so you understand that you understand the conversation. Why are we talking about this? Because that song, it will absolutely change your life. So go this month of June. We're getting there. We're getting there to a month of New Year. Hold on to Jesus, hold on to that promise that he has promised you, the word that he has given you from January. Hold on to him, hold on to Jesus. Do not forsake Christ.

Mariam Kapongo: 35:28

Do not forsake him. Now to my other listeners out there that all of these things may sound gibberish to you, it's because you have not accepted Jesus as your Lord and personal Savior. So also to my listener out there you were once like me. You know, you know Christ, you know Jesus, but then you did not want to associate with churches anymore. So this is time that I just want to invite you to rededicate your life back to. Christ so if you can say this prayer with me. We simply all know the prayer by now.

Idunnu Oluwa: 36:00

By God's grace, we will all know it by now.

Mariam Kapongo: 36:02

simply, we're going to just say a simple prayer. Join me and say this prayer, because when you confess with your mouth and you believe with your heart, Jesus is there, so now come join me by saying this prayer Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I believe you died from the cross on the Calvary.

Mariam Kapongo: 36:23

I know I am a sinner. Today I come to you to forgive me of all my sins and to make me a brand new creation. I accept you as my personal Lord and Savior creation. I accept you as my personal Lord and Savior. Thank you, lord, for forgiving me and make me a brand new, born again. Baby. Now saints, if you have sinned to the prayer, I encourage you. Congratulations, welcome into the kingdom of God. And also, as I always say, don't let that prayer sit in your living room or sit in your car, whatever you're listening. Okay, take that prayer by you finding a church by you joining a church community.

Mariam Kapongo: 37:06

If you're here in Edmonton, we are going to give you an invite.

Idunnu Oluwa: 37:10

Where are we inviting them? Where are they coming? Cornerstone Christian Church of God.

Mariam Kapongo: 37:15

Edmonton, right here, there is no excuse. We have how many services? Three, three, oh, my goodness, what time. 9.30, 11.30, 1.30. And then Thursday too. Oh, don't forget about Thursday. Thursday, what do we have on Thursday? Next Thursday, we have Bible study.

Idunnu Oluwa: 37:32

Oh, okay, we have many opportunities.

Mariam Kapongo: 37:35

Oh, meditation, okay.

Idunnu Oluwa: 37:38

Talk about that 9am on. Saturday.

Mariam Kapongo: 37:42

You can actually.

Idunnu Oluwa: 37:44

You can actually follow Apostle Emmanuel On Instagram.

Mariam Kapongo: 37:50

I do see it.

Idunnu Oluwa: 37:51

And then you can join us online.

Mariam Kapongo: 37:53

Just respond to the post I want to join in person and it's free.

Idunnu Oluwa: 37:58

It's free and Meditation is free.

Mariam Kapongo: 38:00

It's free and also speaking of meditation, next month, next last Monday of the month, we are going to have we are going to have a person who's an expert in mental health. We're talking, we're focusing about mental. I'm excited for this episode because she's's gonna come sit here and give it to us about the importance of taking the word of god and also taking care of your mental health. So come back next monday, last monday of the month of june, as this june we encourage you.

Mariam Kapongo: 38:31

Behold, behold with jesus amen, and we will see you the last month of Monday of June. God bless, god bless you Also, as I always say don't let that prayer sit in your living room or sit in your car, whatever you're listening. Take that prayer by you finding a church, by you joining a church community. If you're here in Edmonton, we are going to give you an invite.

Idunnu Oluwa: 38:57

Where are we?

Mariam Kapongo: 38:57

inviting them. Where are they coming? Cornerstone.

Idunnu Oluwa: 38:59

Christian Church of God Edmonton right here.

Mariam Kapongo: 39:04

There is no excuse. We have how many services? Three, three, oh my goodness what time?

Idunnu Oluwa: 39:10

9.30, 11.30, 1.30 and then Thursday too oh, don't forget about Thursday, thursday.

Mariam Kapongo: 39:16

What do we have on Thursday?

Idunnu Oluwa: 39:17

6.30. We have Bible studies oh okay, we have many opportunities, our meditation. Okay, talk about that. Talk about that.

Mariam Kapongo: 39:25

9 am yes 9 am on Saturday. You can actually what?

Idunnu Oluwa: 39:30

Yeah, okay, tell me, you can actually follow Apostle Emmanuel on Instagram.

Mariam Kapongo: 39:35

Yeah, I think it's. You don't add it, I do see.

Idunnu Oluwa: 39:38

And then you can join us online.

Mariam Kapongo: 39:40

Just respond to the post and just say I want to join in person, and it's free Meditation is free and also speaking of meditation, next month, next, last Monday of the month, we are going to have we are going to have a person who's um expert in mental health we're talking, we're focusing about mental.

Mariam Kapongo: 40:00

I'm excited for this episode because she's gonna come sit here and give it to us about the importance of taking the word of god and also taking care of your mental health. So come back next monday last monday of the month of june, as as this June, we're encouraging you. Behold, behold, with Jesus, and we will see you the last month of Monday of June. God bless God bless you, thank you.