How does one navigate getting older and/or having body issues while in the lifestyle? Hear D and Monet bring their experience and share their thoughts on this very subject
How does one navigate getting older and/or having body issues while in the lifestyle? Hear D and Monet bring their experience and share their thoughts on this very subject
Hello and welcome back to the Let's Be Open podcast. Tonight's topic, Body Imaging and Aging. Also, we have a new segment Key Party. And we're going to find out what else we've been up to. So sit back and relax and enjoy the conversation. I am Daniel and here with me, the sexy Monet. Hey, Monee.
Monet:How are you, buddy? Hey, how
Daniel:are you, D? Pretty good. Just got home from work. It's quiet around the house. The family's in San Diego. Oh, nice. So I didn't get to go. Unfortunately, I had to work. But been texting my wife all day and the kids are having a great time. I don't think they notice I'm not there, to be honest.
Monet:Hopefully, she took lots of pictures to share, right?
Daniel:Yes. Yes. I've been getting videos and pictures and the whole nine yards. And you, how was your day?
Monet:Oh, it was good. Thursday is a busy day for me at work. Yeah, but. It was good. Not bad at all. And what have you been up to? And
Daniel:what else have you been up to? As far as lifestyle wise? Have you and Abe been having plans?
Monet:Yes, we did have plans this weekend, but I'm going to finally share a bust. I told you I've had busts before. Here's the most recent one. Just this past weekend. It was a single gentleman who had reached out on Cassidy, which is the site that we're on. I will not give his profile name but I believe a was the one that told me, Hey, you have fan mail. So I went to check it out and I'm like, Oh, okay. He looks attractive, reasonably attractive, my type, my body type. I was cautiously optimistic, we started texting Yeah, I gave him one of my phone numbers because I have more than one. So
Daniel:Yeah, is that by design for lifestyle wise? Yes.
Monet:Yes. Okay. And then To be completely honest when I saw his profile name. I took a pause for that I'll put it this way. He his moniker is after a Greek God Okay, so I won't say which Greek God okay that Whatever and then when I went to read his profile He came off The way I perceived it cocky, which not so much for me. But I'm like, okay, let me just let that go. I'll let it go. And then we started chatting and that was okay. And then he seemed very eager to want to get together. No problem. We had arranged to meet Saturday evening. I'd wanted it a little bit earlier so we could chat for a bit and get to know each other since I, I don't know him at all. And he had to push it back. No problem. And then he asked what I thought was an odd question. And he said, are we meeting alone? In my mind, I'm like, of course not dumbass. I don't know you, but I didn't say that. My reply was, what do you mean by alone? I'm, I'm going to let him tell me the information that he wants. So I, he said, Oh, is hubby joining? Yes. Of course. I didn't say yes. Of course. I just said yes. And he didn't reply for some time after that to confirm I about two hours went by and then he's Oh, I had a family issue come up. I'm not going to be able to meet up. No problem. No skin off my back. Whatever dude. And then he said, I really want to meet you. Have I heard from him since? And frankly, I don't care. He's nobody to me. He, it's his loss. It's his loss. He can't be honest if he, to me that the fact that he even asked if my spouse was coming for our first meeting, rookie,
Daniel:that's a red flag. Yeah.
Monet:Rookie no, what do you mean? What do you mean? Of course, it's about my safety, that's number one My husband always makes sure that I'm safe, so whatever so that was my bus for the weekend But I guess if you want to call it a bus fine, but I mean I enjoy spending time with my husband I enjoy doing the things that we do and having our own sexy time fun. And so We just did that. Of course, as soon as I told him that it fell right. as soon as I told a that it fell through, he's cool, let's get high Let's a smoke. Let's take some bol. Let's get high and chill. And yeah, so we did and we had a great time as always. So that's it.
Daniel:I've heard that, like I've heard like that tail before though. Like where? Oh, really? Single males, they. They'll be in touch or contact with the wife or girlfriend and they hit it off texting and whatever. And then when it comes time to performing with. The husband there, a lot of guys can't, fulfill that, that duty. But for some reason they can do it without the husband there. That's interesting. And when there's an emotional attachment to that reason.
Monet:That's an interesting question. When we have neighbor Joe on, we can ask him. Yeah, there you go.
Daniel:Looking forward to meeting
Monet:him. Oh yeah, he's a great guy. Great guy and
Daniel:thanks for sharing that because and I love Other podcasts, I was going to put that out there but you mostly hear the good. So it's very early, you heard like the bad, like what could go wrong. And yeah, so yeah, thank you for sharing
Monet:that. Yeah, of course. And people, the fact of the matter is bad things, not necessarily bad, like dangerous, but disappointing things are going to happen. An ideal or less than ideal situation. Circumstances are going to happen. I remember a while back and I decided to meet up with a couple who we had seen their photos on a website. In fact, it was so long ago. It may not even have been Cassidy. It could have been SLS or AFF and we decided to go ahead and meet them. They had, attractive faces, but we didn't realize until afterwards that there was no like body shots of them, not necessarily, naked, but showing their body more. And when we showed up, they were both very big people, a little bit too much for us. Okay. Thank you so much for. It was nice meeting you. We didn't want to be rude. So we did stay there. We had drinks, whatever, but we're like, okay, thanks. And you could tell they were very excited about us, but we're like, not so much.
Daniel:Yeah, that's just another downfall of communicating over email, text message messenger is that you. You play in your mind of oh, this person's fantastic. They got a cute picture. We're connecting, back and forth, this is going to be great. And then when you meet them in person, it's like the opposite, they're, they don't look exactly like your their picture. They don't their personalities don't match what their conversation was over the phone. That's why I think it's a good idea to just to go out there and meet people. Exactly. Out in person, so you can cut all that BS out. Yep.
Monet:And that's why, generally speaking, A and I prefer to meet people at meet and greets or parties or gatherings, whatever, so that we can sift through right away. Do we have a vibe, oh, and the other thing he asked too, he says I've been busy all day and first he asked if I could host, which is fine. Of course I can host, but then he said, Oh, if if I drink too much or something could I crash your place, dude, I don't even know you. I don't even know you, so the fact that he even asked for that and I, and then my reply was, do you plan on drinking that much? I don't know. Yeah, whatever. I think I dodged a bullet right there.
Daniel:And let that also be a lesson to just in men in general, like there's a thin line between confidence and being arrogant. Absolutely. Yeah, you don't want to cross that line because then once you cross that line, it's very hard to go back. It's a
Monet:turnoff.
Daniel:Frankly, it's a turnoff. Exactly. Yeah. All right. So are you ready to move on to our little
Monet:icebreaker? Just one last thing I wanted to say about that is women, listen to your intuition. Take heed, pay attention to your intuition.
Daniel:Don't you guys always?
Monet:Some of us don't. Some of us struggle and second guess and we want to be nice, we want to be polite, want to be considerate, and I'm not saying we shouldn't be those things cause we should be, but at the same time you need to pay attention to yellow flags, even yellow flags. Cause if you get enough yellow flags. There's definitely a red flag. Exactly. Okay, so that's it. Now next, icebreaker question.
Daniel:All right. Yeah, so this segment is called key party. Obviously, I named it after, in the 70s, couples would get together and have key party events. Pretty much you put your keys in a bowl. The wives would grab The keys and that's who you had to spend the evening with. Before I start,
Monet:I have never heard of this and I'm older than you are. What is
Daniel:this? You've never heard of a key party? Oh, never. Yeah. Apparently it was pretty, I don't want to say common, but it was in the community or on the senior community world. It was pretty. Pretty common. And so they
Monet:I was a child in the seventies, that's
Daniel:why I wouldn't know Exactly. But yeah, husbands will, when they arrive, they put their keys in a bowl, and as the night went on, you mingle and then the wives will pull a key out of a bowl, and that's who you're playing with that night. What if it was somebody you didn't like? Could you go through with it? Hypothetically, of course.
Monet:It would really depend on how much I did not like them. If I could tolerate them possibly, but. Yeah, I don't know. It would be a challenge. I think they'd be able to tell that I wasn't into it.
Daniel:All right. So the first question, we're only going to do one question. Okay. Okay, can you, what are your three must have items when you're packing your overnight bag when you're going to a hotel, whether to, just you and your husband or you're gonna meet another couple or another guy? What are the top three items that you have to have in your bag?
Monet:Lingerie, so play attire, I would say. I really enjoy wearing lingerie and sexy outfits, because that helps my mood. So I would say lingerie perfume, and butt wipes. Oh.
Daniel:For clean up. Interesting. Hygiene is important. In the lifestyle. I think it's very important that sense Yes. Let's see.
Monet:That be part of the reason I'm How popular
Daniel:Good hygiene. Good job. I think for us, it would probably be my wife's magic wand. It'd probably be up there, yes. Lube. Lube's another one. And, even though she won't admit it, but she does enjoy the a cocktail to relax her before. We go to a van, or we're about to go on a date, alcohol would probably be. Yeah,
Monet:so I answered the question for myself I think my partner would say the speaker for his our music the light bulbs for ambience and then 420 Whether it's a pre roll or our edibles. Got it. I think those would be his three. Yeah.
Daniel:Yeah I've only had an edible. I've never really smoked.
Monet:Yeah, I've never smoked in my life, but he's teaching me.
Daniel:Okay. Is there a difference?
Monet:Yeah, what we have found for us is that we will have edibles and then we'll take I'll usually take two hits and then that it helps give it a kickstart, give the high a kickstart because the edibles take Usually a good 45 minutes to an hour to kick in whereas the pre roll or the smoking hits within Minutes, so so we have we found that it helps enhance the high.
Daniel:Nice All right. So tonight's topic body in five body imaging And aging. I'm going to let you start us off. Where do You want to start with body imaging, aging? How do you want this conversation to start?
Monet:I think yeah, when I was prepping for this, it comes down to confidence. It comes down to confidence. And so I'm the kind of person I like to define terms. And so one of the definitions I found for confidence is self assurance rising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities, basically being sure of ourself and our abilities. And my favorite part of it is quiet inner knowledge that you are capable. And you may say capable of what? Capable of being in the lifestyle, capable of opening your relationship, capable to communicate. I think it starts with confidence,
Daniel:and I agree with you, because I know I heard it. Many times where women, that's one of the things they find attractive to a guy is confidence, but I would also say it's the same thing for men. You see a woman and she's confident in her own body, whether she's big or small, doesn't matter as long as she's showing that confidence that could be a very sexy turn on. Yeah, I really agree with you on that.
Monet:Yeah. Yeah. Confidence is very important for both men and women across the board. And I know it's much more acceptable or tolerable in our society for men to age, right? It's much more tolerable for men to have gray hair and who we say, Oh, they're so distinguished. They're so experienced. They're so knowledgeable. They're worldly wise. Whereas for women, because of our media, especially our American media, they focus on Thinness, not that being thin is bad, I'm not saying that's a bad thing, whatever your body type is your body type. But a lot of times we women tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves. I have to be thin, I have to be skinny, I have to be this size in order for me to feel sexy or be attractive or for other people to find me attractive. And that is simply not the case. Confidence definitely overrides many things. And years ago, this was a long time ago, I was watching a talk show and there were couples being interviewed by the host who were struggling with intimacy because the wife was struggling with her own body and accepting her body. And... The psychologist that was talking to them gave them an exercise to do and so she separated them and what the exercise was is for the husband to draw how he saw his wife and then the wife, her job was to draw how she saw herself and the results were amazing when they came back together. The wives were shocked and surprised. That their husband's drawing and they were puzzled even saying that's how you see me and basically what? I realized, and even the host mentioned the same thing, is that men are very forgiving. Whatever body part they like, whether they're boob men or butt men or hips or legs, whatever, that's what they focus on and that's what they appreciate. Whereas for women, especially in this country, we focus on our flaws. Oh, I hate my arms, my legs, my chin, my, whatever it is we focus on and we focus on the negative. And once we realize that our partner overlooks that or doesn't see that or appreciates Whatever it is. He appreciates we can really relax and so I would encourage any Woman that's struggling to accept herself and her body do that exercise and see what happens I think you're going to be very pleasantly surprised For example a couple of years ago I met this guy and we had met up for a playdate, a couple of playdates actually, really nice. Technically he was a single guy, but he was dating someone in the lifestyle and I knew her. So I asked her, Hey, is it okay, do you mind if I get together? She's Oh yeah, we're not committed, so feel free. So anyway when we were together. He actually stroked my hips when we were, it was like the after, after glow, whatever. And he was rubbing my hip and then he rubbed my upper thigh. And I'm very self, for me, I'm very self conscious about my thighs. I think my thighs are just too big for my body. Anyway, but that's what I think. And he told me, oh my God, this curve right here. Fucking sexy. That's what he said. And I was like, what? Really? You like that? He says, Oh yeah, it's so hot. And I'm like, Okay. Thank you. Good to know. So again, it was just another confirmation that men are very forgiving and something that I was very self conscious about. He just relished, he loved it. He thought it was erotic and sexy and all of that. So anyway, I do encourage any woman who's struggling or even a man to, I think I think a woman would do the same thing for her man. You know that we just appreciate what we appreciate and value you,
Daniel:yeah, when I was doing my prep work for this, it was interesting because I thought because when I was going on the forums and reading everybody's comments regarding this topic. It wasn't just women, it was men who are also replying, and it's like what you said, oh, he's got bigger muscles than I do, or, I'm not as tall as I would like to be. They tend to find, their own flaws, and I think that's a problem, not just in the swinging community, but just in our society, is that we compare ourselves to everybody. Because I've heard other podcasts before in the past where the woman is very thin, really attractive, and they talk about their insecurities comparing themselves to other women. So it doesn't matter if you're. If you're big, you're small, you're going to have these insecurities, I think, but what the lifestyle brings is that we tend, there's something for everybody. There's, some people like some guys like thin women, some guys like thicker women, it's just, there's an appetite. So don't be it's hard for us not to be so hard on ourselves, especially when this hobby we do. It's putting ourselves out there and that's hard for people to do
Monet:right, but yeah, it can be scary It can be intimidating, it can be intimidating. But the other thing is that And this a nice segue. I think it does tie in with aging, you know Obviously I am a woman and so for many women for many of us when we turn 40 We get really nervous about turning 40. Oh, no, I'm turning 40 and blah blah blah which I get I remember when I was 40 because I'm well over 40 as you know when I did turn 40 I was actually excited about it. I was happy. I did feel confident I did feel comfortable and in my own skin as people say And I was sharing with somebody else with two other ladies that was at the gym and I was working out and they were talking about age and stuff. They're like, Oh yeah, I'm going to turn 40 next year. Blah, blah, blah. It's going to be downhill and yada. And I was looking at them like, what? I said, you know what? I'm 40. And they looked at me and they're like, what? You're the kind of person that needs to tell everyone that you're 40 because you look great. I'm like,
Daniel:thank you. And what I found,
Monet:Oh, thank you. Like I said, I'm well over 40 now. Yeah. I'm actually,
Daniel:It was funny. It's funny you say that because when again, I was figuring out like how this episode was going to go and, decided we were going to throw aging into this. I remember forget when we met you and a you asked me, you're like, you do realize I'm, and you told me your age and my wife and I looked at each other and I just had a big smile on his face. And she was like, yeah, that's the reason why we took this date because, yeah. He has a thing for older women. So after that, it was on and that's proved my point. There's something, there's people out there and there's tons of fetishes. And, like I said, hopefully, you can connect with somebody and. Move forward and yeah, that's
Monet:why it's so important to go to meet and greets That's why it's so important to go to parties, even if you're shy. Hopefully your partner is more outgoing Like for us again, a is he's pretty much an introvert and he likes to call me the social butterfly Because i'm the one who's running around meeting people talking to strangers. Oh my gosh. Hey girl. I love your outfit Oh, by the way, my name is monet Who are you? And we start talking and then sometimes I'll bring them over to our table. Oh yeah, my husband's over there. Let me introduce you. And that's how we meet people. And sometimes it's just for that moment and we'll have a little conversation and maybe they'll see somebody else that they know and they'll run off. Other times they end up staying at our table for the whole evening and other people join us. But you have to put yourself out there to meet people and to have these conversations to figure out, do we have a vibe? Are we attracted? And are we going to do something else? Are we going to have some sexy time fun? Or are we just going to hang out and have great conversations and maybe meet up for dinner or whatever? However you guys are going to proceed, but you get to choose. But the only way that you're going to grow and the only way you're going to figure out what you like and what other people like is to put yourself out there.
Daniel:Absolutely. And, unfortunately, In this community, there are, ages, there's people, against bigger body types, there's going to be, not everything is going to be perfect, so you can't get discouraged it's like what you just said, you just have to keep putting your foot out there, keep trying, and that's how you're going to do it. Catch more for people. Yes. Yeah, and it's rejections part of the game, unfortunately
Monet:And you can't take it personal. We cannot take it personal. Not everybody's gonna like this, right? Yeah It's just it's just like you don't like everyone. It's just the way it is.
Daniel:Yeah I've reached out to couples before in the past and Hey, this is so and we My wife and I both like your profile. Would you be interested in, getting to know each other and being perhaps meeting up and we get to reply back? We don't think we're going to be a good fit, every time we got that email, it's been polite and nice. It's not, hey, go F yourselves. It's there's a respect to it. So as long as you're not An asshole, everything's good. I think everything will work yourself out at the end,
Monet:right? Yeah, exactly One thing I wanted to share is that years ago We had met up with a couple that we were getting to know and she was a larger lady very beautiful face She was a blonde And her husband was tall and thin And they took us to a bar in orange. I think Costa Mesa I don't know if it's still there, especially after the pandemic, so many things disappear, disappeared. But this was called, I think, the Butterfly Lounge. And I didn't know before we went, but as soon as we walked in, I'm looking around going, Ooh, there's a lot of BBWs here. I'm feeling like Miss Fitness. Because there were some big ladies there. I was like, wow. But it was a bar that, that was the thing. So if you're a bigger person, I don't think it was lifestyle, but there were a lot of larger BBWs there and they were having a great time dress really cute. And, some of them very sexy and good for them. They were confident just like we were talking about earlier and they were not shy about dancing and having a great time. That's what they were there to do. So there's a niche for everyone for whatever. You just, again, you have to get yourself out there and meet people and figure it out.
Daniel:Yeah, I just looked it up and unfortunately the Butterfly Lounge is temporary closed for now. You looked it up! Yeah,
Monet:let me see if I can go there.
Daniel:Ha. But it was fun, we had a great time there. Let me ask you a question. Have you ever held yourself back because you weren't 100 percent confident in yourself, whether it was your body or your age or you're just feeling insecure that day?
Monet:Yes, on, on both. I would say on both. I have held myself back. I've made comments usually to my spouse and I'll say, Oh, that person's very attractive. I. I might be too big for them, fortunately for me people, as far as I know, it hasn't been obvious. People have still approached me that I didn't think would approach me. For example, when you meet neighbor Joe is very fit. He's got a six pack and he's so funny because we were conversing the other day and I was telling him that I was having to drive my son to soccer practice and he's Oh my God. And you're a soccer mom too. That is so hot. Again, there is a fetish and a king for everything. Okay. So I'm like, okay, I'm glad you liked it. I don't even know what to say, just thanks. But the other thing as far as age, yeah, I have mentioned to A that I'm not in any sort of denial. I know that I have a shelf life. That's just the fact, I'm sure when I'm 70, if we're still doing this or to whatever degree we are still involved in the lifestyle, I don't know how comfortable I will depending on, my appearance. You know how gray I am. I don't dye my hair yet. I do have gray, but I do have a lot of hair So it's hidden you can't always see it, but I do I have gray hair But I don't dye mostly because I don't want to have to do the upkeep Because i'm a cheap bitch but It is what it is, but yet I know a lot of people that are in their 60s that are still active in their lifestyle. And I say, Hey, good for them. As long as they feel good about themselves, they're confident they're having a good time. Good for them. Now for me, I do prefer younger men. There are very few men that are older that I get involved with, but that's me. That's my taste. And I think because I have kids that are in their 20s, that also keeps me youthful. So I think that helps, but I have a younger spirit,
Daniel:yeah. There is this one time it was a couple in Vegas and the husband and I we're just chatting, going back and forth. And we always said, Oh if we make it up there, we would get together for a drink. And so it just so happens a couple of months later we were going up there. So I. That just mentioned him and was like, Hey, would you want to get a drink here with your wife and I, and, I talked to over with my wife and, she would be interested. And then he got back to me. Drink sounds great. Unfortunately my wife, cause they were. In their fifties, this is just maybe about, I want to say about four years ago. He told me basically that the wife hasn't seen our profile or anything, but the fact that we're a lot younger doesn't think she can go through with it. And so we met, had a drink and we had a wonderful time. It was just laughter, good conversation. And then we both went our separate ways because we weren't planning on playing that night. And we got the, obviously, we got the text an hour later after we met. Hey, it was great to meet you. We had fun. And yeah, he's we would love to get together again, but I know we don't think we're going to be able to play because she was saying we reminded her of her her daughter and her husband. There's a lot of resemblance there. Of course, we didn't take it personal. We understood. Preferably though, I, we tend to like playing with older people. Just for the fact is it's less drama, right? I think every time, yeah, we come in contact with a younger couple. Bit nice and sweet and everything, but there's been some type of drama in the relationship, not with us. And just, we looked at back on our playing record and it just so happens older people that we've been playing, we played with. It was just a lot more fluid, a lot more fun my wife had a better time with all the older people that we've, we played with rather than the younger so yeah we'll see what happens, as our journey continues, like I said it happens. Some people prefer younger, some people prefer older. It's just, it's who you are and what you want. You have
Monet:to figure it out. We want experience. Yeah. So I came across a really great article. It's called Age in the Swinger Lifestyle. And it's actually a podcast as well. I have not listened to the podcast, but I'm probably going to hop on because I really enjoy the article. Their podcast is called We Got a Thing. Oh, yeah. Love that podcast. Oh, so you've already, okay, good. Good. I'm glad that you're familiar. Yeah. Their aging article that they wrote also, I thought was really good. So I got some really great bullet points. I want to give credit where credit is due. So that's why I'm mentioning their podcast and the article because I completely agree with it. So aging is very liberating. In many ways, as I mentioned before, for women, it seems that when we turn 40, we finally just say, F it, I don't care anymore. I'm going to do the things that I want to do. I'm going to embrace my life and I'm going to live the way that I want to live. And a lot of us are, when we are in our forties or, and definitely as we age, regardless of whether we're in our forties or it's a little bit later, we do get that. Emptiness because our kids are grown and if we've done our job they fly away Whether they go to college or they move out or whatever they do, but once we have that empty nest We and then especially if we still like our partner and especially in the lifestyle, you know Because we're constantly working on our relationship and communicating Odds are definitely in our favor that we're still going to like each other. And so because of that, we're going to be able to spend more time together and we're going to have more freedom and more flexibility in our schedule. We're not having to pick up the kids from practice or school or whatever activities they're involved. Involved with and so we do have more flexibility to take care of our health whether it's working out whether it's you know Grocery shopping so that our nutrition is better Whether we need to take a nap when we get home from work. That's me. Sometimes You know, we do have that flexibility to do that Whereas when you have littles you can't you're on the go when they're down You already know this when they go down To bed finally after, the homework and the bedtime story and the water or snack or whatever, then boom, you're freaking exhausted.
Daniel:Yes, that is true
Monet:Yes, you know when you're finally out of that season, and it does happen gradually You're relieved and you do have a lot more time to focus on yourself on your relationship I think too. That's why a lot of Older couples that are empty nesters do start looking into the lifestyle and exploring what else is out there. We have, our kids are on the horizon to leave for college in a few years. We want to make sure that we do still like each other. So how can we reinvigorate our relationship? And so that's when people start looking around. But yeah, we do have a lot of flexibility, whether it's to host, to focus on our health, do the things that are important basically to nurture and develop and explore having a healthy sex life. And we have more time for fun and adventures as a couple.
Daniel:Yeah. Yeah, those are all really good points. It's interesting when you brought up, like, when a woman, when she turns 40, she decides to be a little bit more open. I have a question for you. Would you say you're more selective on who you decide to connect with now or when you were back when you were single?
Monet:That's a very interesting question. I think because of the way that I grew up, which was very conservative and very religious, I didn't really date anybody outside of my church youth group, and I certainly was not having sex at a young age. I would make out with boys or whatever, but I was not sexually active. So maybe that's why I like younger men. Yeah, I just doubted so much when I was young, right? But yeah, I am definitely selective now, although A and I had been discussing that I am, my standards, have relaxed a little bit, where not really with strangers, but when I get to know somebody and we become friends and I know that they're interested in engaging with me physically, I'll be like, okay, why not? I'll give that a try. Sure.
Daniel:Whatever. Okay, buddy.
Monet:Yeah, and especially when they're friends. So yeah, so I have, I think my standards have relaxed a little bit because for me, personality is huge. Somebody can be uber attractive, but if they're an a hole,
Daniel:I'll just admire
Monet:you from afar. Yeah, I'll just admire you from afar, but don't open your mouth.
Daniel:Yeah, it's interesting because it's like I was thinking about this, and Of course, I'm not going to name names, but there's about three women who I could think of who are approaching 50 and they're dating and they are hooking up with married men. And I just think it's it's just interesting how they can go from being conservative to now what switch, what turned on now where you're. Taking such risk, right? Yeah. Yeah, so it's just, it's fascinating just like looking at it because it's like, if you look at these three women I'm thinking of you would never probably guess that they would, be doing that, but but they are on dating apps and websites and there's very men on there and I guess, I don't know, I guess it's, is it nice to be wanted? When you haven't had that attention, I don't know.
Monet:I can, and I've heard women say this, which is why I'm going to, I'm going to share this. It could go a couple of different ways. Again, like you're saying, they turn 40 and they're like, F it. I'm going to do what I want. He's married, whatever that's between him and his spouse. Has nothing to do with me. They may have that attitude or it may be like, you know what? This works for me because then I know he's going to leave at the end of the night. He's not going to stay. He's not going to make him. I'm saying they can still retain their freedom. Even while engaging with someone on a sexual level, they know that they don't have to cook dinner for this guy or do his laundry or hear his BS. The guy shows up, does his business and he leaves.
Daniel:It's interesting like that. Yeah, because there is back in college when I was going through the O. T. program, I had a lab partner and this guy was like all time. Great. Got along with everybody. Everybody wanted to be his friend. Super smart. Yeah, he had good looking just had everything and. He asked me a question one day. He was like, Hey, he's like, why do you think I always like to sleep with married women? He's like they, they throw it in his eye to say throw themselves, but they come on to him and I told him I go because you are a loner, you go to his house He only has one plate one cup one fork. Seriously. He showed me. Yeah And stuff. There was a, I guess there was probably some type of commitment issue you're trying to deal with. And so you agreed and stuff. But yeah, it's interesting. I don't know. I don't know if I can go down that road.
Monet:Yeah. Yeah I've had younger men share with me that the reason why they like, one of the reasons why they like older women is because there's not body issues. They don't like being with women who are saying, turn off the light, don't look at me, blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, us over 40 crowd, we're like, screw it. If you like me, great. If not, there's the door. Bye. Bye. Bye. Yeah, this is naked. And if you like it, fine. And if not, okay, no, I'm going to do this. Okay. And not that I don't have anything against nudists. That's fine. If that's who you are, you like to walk around naked. Good for you. Me, not so much. I just. I prefer to have sexy lingerie on, that's what works for me, but yeah, so body issues. They don't, they prefer for a woman to be free and open with her body plus a woman who's in their forties knows what she enjoys, what activities turn her on and what things work for her. So she knows what gets her off. And so she's able to give that instruction to her partner, no, not like this harder, faster, slower. More of that, less of this, and so the young men that I've encountered, that's what they say they enjoy and they appreciate being told, do this, don't do that, more of this, less of that, they enjoy the coaching. Yeah, where younger women don't say anything. They don't get any feedback. Yeah.
Daniel:Or they pump the brakes are like, hold on. Yeah. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. Yeah, looking back on, our play time, there wasn't any texting. There's no like really back and forth. I knew every time like we got together, the four of us there's a good connection all around the table and so there wasn't any games. And so when it came down to play time, it was. It felt natural, there wasn't yeah, so yeah, I totally understand what you're getting at, but yeah, and it's the same way with men too, as far as like body images, like I was talking about just a minute ago the last party my wife and I went to, which she were there I just gained like a few extra pounds. And so I, me personally wasn't feeling my best. And so I went there just to, okay, I'm going to go there and have fun period. Yeah. And so this is going to be more about like my wife and I, and that's it, which it was. But then on the way home, she's you had a girl checking you out the whole night. I'm like, really? And she's yeah,
Monet:you're supposed to be my wingman.
Daniel:She's yeah, she's like the girl you were the wife you were talking to don't you guys, like you guys went off to your own little conversation to the side and she was giving you signals and even when the conversation broke, she was looking back at you. She kept smiling. I'm surprised you didn't pick up on it. And, it's funny, because I, what you just said is what I just said. That was my response. I was like, Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you say anything? Because, that's Winning man! Yeah, because, It's been a long time since I've been in the dating game. Yeah,
Monet:yeah, exactly. That's funny. And then, obviously men face other issues than what women face in regards to aging. One of the things that has come up with a and some of the other men in our motorcycle group is being overstimulated. And so a lot of times when men are overstimulated, they cannot perform because there's just too much activity going on and they don't know where to look and it's like their tool goes, okay, you make up your mind and let me know when you're ready until then I'm going to take a nap, but fortunately, there are supplements that you can take to help out with that.
Daniel:So I think that every guy in this motorcycle group has a supplement.
Monet:I don't think every guy, but I think quite a few.
Daniel:Yeah. No, it's interesting. And I could totally relate to that too, because I personally need my own bed or own couch when I'm, I cannot be in a, on the same bed with a group of people cause it's very distracting. But I can understand that and respect where they're coming from because I've been there and sure it does. You know affect me Performance. Yeah.
Monet:Yeah.
Daniel:Yeah, so that's
Monet:totally good. You're human, yeah You're like look over there who look over there. Wait a minute. What how are they doing? Yeah
Daniel:And especially if it's new to you. So if you're into your play partner and then you feel a foot on your leg, you're like, what is that? Whose foot's that? Is it my wife's? Is it somebody else? Is it another dude? I don't know. And then at the same time, you're processing this and then you're not focusing on your partner. That's when, yeah, so I've been there before and they could totally relate to that. All right. So is there anything else you wanted to add? Lemme
Monet:take a quick gander at my notes and make sure I got everything out. No, I think I did get everything out. Yeah.
Daniel:All right. Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad we made this like a fun as I had fun.'cause I was hoping this wouldn't be like too depressing'cause this could be real, this could be a sensitive topic, but
Monet:the other thing is that attitude is everything. Attitude is, everything. So we get to decide, am I going to have a good attitude? Hey, listen, this is the youngest I will ever be. And that's true for all of us, right? This is today is the youngest I will ever be. Because we're all aging. We're all, that's just the way life is. And are, am I going to make the most of today? Am I going to make the most of the opportunities I have today? Socially, business wise, with relationships, friendships, family, all of that. It's the youngest that we will all ever be. True. So we can decide to be depressed. We can choose to focus on Oh, I'm getting old. Yeah, newsflash, we all are But are you gonna enjoy the journey?
Daniel:Exactly. All right, so before we sign off, I have some news. News. Yeah. My wife and I have officially purchased our tickets to the Halloween swing event, and I think on the 28th. So we're yeah, so we're definitely looking forward to that. Although we do have a busy day that day, but we both were like, screw it. Let's just. Bite the bullet and we'll tough it out and we'll see what happens. So I believe the group is called swinger
Monet:hearts swing carts. Yeah, no, you are just swing hearts
Daniel:Yeah, and I believe it's a different
Monet:location yes, it is a different location this time. It's not a Whittier. Yeah. So you'll have a little bit of a drive. Not too bad. Update for you. I will not be able to be there.
Daniel:Oh, that's
Monet:a bummer. I know, but I'm going to Hawaii. That's why. Oh, I have a good reason.
Daniel:Is it one of one of your 21 year olds? No.
Monet:No, I'm actually going with my daughter. So there's a whole back story, but yeah, it should be fun, but I've already told a that. Hey, go ahead and go if you want to go ahead and go so and he's got a couple people I know he could take but we'll see he said to me. We'll see us. Okay, whatever we decide is fine So if you see him there, I'll keep an eye
Daniel:on him.
Monet:I Trust him yeah, I'm sorry I have to miss it but hopefully we can catch catching another time or even just get together with you guys You know Of course, yeah.
Daniel:Alright
Monet:Wait a minute, in other news too, have you noticed we're at over 200 downloads now?
Daniel:Yes very exciting, and it's popping up in different types of other countries as well, I
Monet:know, we're growing in Europe, I'm like, what? This is crazy.
Daniel:We're gonna have to go to Europe.
Monet:Yep, I know, it calls for a trip.
Daniel:Sign me up. Okay. So yeah, so thank you for listening to us. We really appreciate it. We're having fun doing this. Even though we don't really record when we say we are, that's fine. Pretty much my fault but yeah, it's been fun. It's I'm having a blast. So thank you for listening. If you want to reach us, you can reach me on Cassidy at CuriousCouple24. And then we do have a Twitter account. Let me bring that up. Let's be open pod is our Twitter handle. And so you can give us questions and, or you can leave a comment and also if you can leave a comment on where you listen to this podcast, that would be very helpful for us. So thank you. Yes.
Monet:Thank you everyone. We appreciate
Daniel:you. All right. Well for Monet and I, thank you for listening. Peace out.