Food is NOT the problem. Explore these 7 Different Reasons Why Your Relationship with Food May be Struggling.

What if the problem isn't the food, but our relationship with it? This episode dives headfirst into the deep end of our emotional ties with food and body image. We debunk the myth that food is the enemy, highlighting how our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors surrounding food are the real culprits. We explore the destructive cycle of labeling food as 'good or bad' and how this can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and unhealthy eating habits. This discussion is like shining a spotlight on the elephant in the room - we're challenging deeply rooted beliefs and societal norms about food.

We also unpick the contentious claim of certain foods being addictive. While it might be easy to blame sugar for our woes, the scientific consensus doesn't back this up. We illustrate how emotional eating, although a natural response to stress or sadness, can morph into a problematic coping mechanism if left unchecked. The conversation also takes a hard look at restrictive diets, emphasizing how they can warp our relationship with food and cause more harm than good. We navigate the minefield of body image and healthism, discussing the damaging implications they can have on our mental well-being.

Finally, we illuminate the path towards a healthier relationship with food and our bodies. We delve into trust, respect, self-compassion, mindfulness, and understanding - key elements that can help us reshape our relationship with food. This episode is not about demonizing food, but about changing our mindset, unraveling the complexities of our relationship with food, and equipping ourselves with the tools necessary to improve our emotional well-being. Prepare for an empowering journey to self-improvement and a healthier relationship with food."

(Note: There are no guests mentioned in the original task, so guests have not been included in the show notes.)

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

We all very often blame food. Food is the problem, this type of food is the problem. This certain macronutrient is the problem. Food is very easy to blame and it makes a lot of sense that we blame food. Food is often seen as this culprit when it comes to our issues with food and body, but in reality the problem lies in our relationship with food. Most often, the way we perceive it, interact with it, think about it and use food can significantly impact our well-being and our emotional health, our mental health and our relationship with food and body and our behaviors with food and body as well.

Speaker 1: 0:45

Hearing things so often from clients like I just can't keep donuts in the house, I just can't have chips around. Those are such a problem, I can't keep them in the house, they can't be by me because they're addictive. They're the problem. Blaming food is just so so, so common. It also keeps us very, very stuck because we're trying to solve this problem by in the ways that are not going to be helpful, because we are kind of blaming or looking at the wrong thing right. When we're focusing on food being the problem, then we're going to try to fix it in certain ways, like take that food out of the house, try and never, ever have it again, go on a restrictive diet, all of those things that keep us in this cycle of restricting that food and then binging on food when we see it or when we just can't fight that craving anymore and it just does not work. So focusing on the real problem is what we need to do. So today we're gonna do just that and we're gonna explore the 10 reasons why food itself is not the problem. Instead, we're gonna talk about how it's our relationship with food that creates these issues and we're gonna talk about what actually is the problem. So the objective today, and what I hope you get out of this, is if you are really grounded in this feeling, in this thought, in this belief that food is the problem. I hope today you're able to second guess, that kind of put that to rest, or just hopefully I can plant some seeds about why food and focusing on food being the problem is not actually the problem and what we need to focus on instead and what is actually causing those problems.

Speaker 1: 2:42

Okay, so we're gonna bust that myth in a few different by explaining a few different things today. Okay, so the first thing we're gonna talk about is how. Food is not the problem because food is neutral. What is the problem is that we charge food up and that's what creates these issues. Okay, I'm gonna say that one more time and go into explaining it. So food is not the problem because food in it, of itself is neutral. What is the problem? That is, that we charge up these foods, making them more than what they are, more emotionally charged.

Speaker 1: 3:21

Food in its essence is neutral. It provides nourishment and sustenance without judgment. It's our thoughts, our emotions and behaviors surrounding food that can be really problematic and get us very stuck. Because if food were the problem, why is one person able to not feel out of control with chips in the house, while another person is not able to feel in control? Why are there such different experiences? Because if food were the problem, it chips would impact everyone, like that right, but really it's those individuals' relationship with it.

Speaker 1: 4:03

Labeling food as good or bad and categorizing foods as an as inherently good or bad oversimplifies nutrition and can foster guilt and shame when you're having those quote-unquote bad foods and lead you in those restrict binge cycles, lead you to a place of deep distrust with food and deep distrust with your body. I want you to think right now of a child and think about one child who is able to have sweets. Okay, they have. That family has sweets in the house. They have, you know, they're able to have it throughout the week, throughout the days, and they're just a regular part of all the other foods that they have. When that child goes to a party at a friend's house, if that party has sweets there, that child is most likely just going to have a couple sweets, look at them and be like, okay, they're neutral, I'm gonna go play with my friends right Now. If you think of another household where sweets are not allowed and there's none in the house and they're really charged up as being bad food, when that child goes to the party and has access to cookies and candy and sodas, they are gonna be hanging out at that table, at that dessert table, the whole time, ignoring friends because they never have access to it. It's charged up and we can kind of think of that with our own relationship with food. We can compare it to a kid at a dessert table who has been restricted of desserts.

Speaker 1: 5:41

Oftentimes I get this argument that this idea that food can be addictive, that you know food is bad and there's certain foods that can be addictive. Specifically sugar is a big one. It has gained attention and sparked a lot of debate, often likening certain foods, especially those higher, like I said, in sugar or higher in fats, they have compared them to addictive substances like drugs. Now, while this concept is compelling, because it would really make sense to a lot of people who feel, who really feel like it's addictive, like they can't help themselves although that is an explanation a lot of people give and they're with blaming the food it's really important to clarify that there is no consensus in this specific evidence and in this science that we're in this research around this that supports this idea that that food is truly addictive in the way that drugs are, and several myths about food addiction, sugar addiction, have been debunked. That is a whole other episode and I want to invite you to that episode on food and sugar addiction.

Speaker 1: 6:55

And I want to say here, when we're talking about food not being the problem is when people feel addicted to food, addicted to sugar. Those folks who feel addicted, we have to think about what their relationship with food, specifically that food they feel addicted to. What has that been like? Has that been restricted? Have they been on a diet cycle, is there a lot of shame around that food. What is that relationship with food? All of my work, when I see that people feel addicted to food and we start working on their relationship with that food, they no longer feel addicted. It is not charged up, it does not have that pull and they no longer feel like it's addicted, addictive. So this is a really harmful. I believe this is a really harmful message that is going around that food is addictive, blaming food because some were never able to actually address the real problem, which is our relationship with food. The next reason that food is not the problem is because it is not the actual food, but it is how people cope through food and through food behaviors. That is the problem, which, again, is your relationship with food.

Speaker 1: 8:16

Many people turn to food as a way to cope with emotions. Many people turn to food as a way to cope with emotions such as stress, sadness, boredom, right coping through disordered eating, eating disorders, very, very common To turn to this as a way of feeling safe, of a way of feeling Regulated when they don't have the coping skills. The issue is not food, but it's those emotional triggers, it's that trauma, it's that cope, that maladaptive coping that leads to food behaviors like restriction, binging Over exercise, also relationship with body. So it's the coping that is the problem, that maladaptive coping. Now, many individuals turn to food as a way of coping, as mentioned, whether it's, you know, stress, anxiety, depression, and this behavior is often referred to as well. It could be disordered eating, an eating disorder, but it can also be what's called and what's thrown out there, which is emotional eating, and it's essential to understand that this is common.

Speaker 1: 9:28

Emotional eating is common and it's natural. It's a natural response to emotional stimuli and it's it's. It's not, it's okay to emotionally eat. We can serve as a source of comfort, right, a source of distraction, and this. There's a whole other episode on this. So look at the episode, go find the episode about emotional eating and we dive more into that.

Speaker 1: 9:53

However, the key issue lies not in the act of eating itself, but in the underlying emotional triggers that drive this emotional eating, and it's when we are only coping through emotional eating that then when emotional eating becomes a problem. If we're always going to food, there's nothing wrong with, let's say, you have a stress, stressful day, so on your way home, you're gonna get your, your favorite meal and you're gonna cozy up on the couch, you're gonna enjoy the meal, you're gonna watch your favorite show and you're gonna de-stress and you're going to comfort yourself with food. That is not a problem. That is emotional eating and that is not a problem. It's when that's the only way we're gonna cope. We're not talking with friends, we're not phoning a friend, we're not Um Processing our emotions, we're just turning to food all of the time to numb out. Okay, so anyways, let's go back to that was kind of a side note with emotional eating.

Speaker 1: 10:53

Let's go back to coping with food. How do we know we are coping with food? How do we know we are? We have disordered eating and we're using it to cope, or we're Emotionally eating and we're on the cycle of emotional eating. Well, you can tell if you are, if there's an emotional trigger, right, an emotional distress, whether it's caused by work related problems, personal problems, relationship issues, a variety of different factors, right, and Then what happens is, with these emotions, we turn to food to soothe or distract these feelings, to provide that temporary sense of comfort or pleasure.

Speaker 1: 11:28

But then we might find ourselves that we're we're we're binging, or we're always turning to those foods and we're feeling like we're numbing out and we don't feel good after. We don't feel like that was a good, a good form of self care for ourselves because we are now maybe overly full. We don't feel good. It didn't help the problem that we had. It didn't help with the feeling that we had right. So we're, we're coping with food. When we are lonely, when we are sad, when we are anxious, when we're depressed, when we're nervous, when we're scared all of those are are the same. We go back to the same thing. Where we we feel we need to eat right and that's how we solve all our problems. Then that is not going to actually get to the root.

Speaker 1: 12:17

So, if you're catching my drift here, if, if we need to cope in a variety of different ways, we need to have people around us that are supportive and be able to lean on them, we need to journal, we need to move our body to release distress, we want to work on our creative passions, whatever it might be. But if you find that you're turning to food to solve every emotional distress, then you could be in this place where you are, where you are experiencing emotional eating, disordered eating, any eating disorder to cope with the stressors of life, and that is what you're turning to, unable to actually sort through you and process your emotions, cope emotion in a healthy way, with your emotions, right. And then you're also feeling this, this cycle of then guilt and negative emotions, following emotional eating, following disordered eating, because you have these feelings of regret or frustration and maybe you also don't feel good and you're actually never, never, able to understand that emotional issue and it remains unresolved, okay, and then that happens cyclically and you're stuck in that cycle. Okay, so that is another reason. That is another answer to why food is not the problem. It is not actually a food, it's the cycle you're stuck on emotionally through coping with food. Okay, and you can check out that emotional eating episode as well.

Speaker 1: 13:44

Okay, and the third reason why food is not the problem and what is the problem? That is going to be restrictive diets. Restrictive diets create a lot of problems Diets that heavily restrict foods and they lead to cravings binging over indulgence and an unhealthy fixation on these foods that are restricted and cannot be eaten. It's the restrictive mindset that causes these problems. Restrictive diets and that impose strict limitations on these types of or these amounts of foods that an individual can consume really causes people to be in this place where they completely distrust food in their body, because these diets are often pursued with the intention of achieving specific goals. However, these restrictive diets have all of these unintended consequences and they don't actually work. Okay, so you remain in these diet cycles where you're always trying to get to that end goal that's promised to you, where you're going to achieve this ideal life, this ideal body. But what happens is you fail the diet. You can't keep it up because it's restrictive, it's hard to do, your body is not meant to be on these diets, and so we feel like we're failing. But then, in turn, we also get these other unintended consequences, like a turmoil with your relationship with food and body right, distrust of food, consequences of physical health, psychological health, disordered eating.

Speaker 1: 15:27

Eating can pose several challenges, primarily due to the deprivation. Some of these key issues associated with restrictive eating is that you have cravings that you feel that are your responsibility to not give into. When it's impossible to not give into cravings after a certain amount of time, because what you do is again, you're charging up the food. You're charging up food which is neutral, to be negative, right, but then it has a positive pull on you when you say I can't have this food whenever you take something off limits. So when certain foods are restricted, the desire to consume them intensifies and this can result in strong cravings, making it very difficult to adhere to the diet for a long term. And then what you get is you get this overindulgence binging in a way that does not feel good, not feel good and respectful to your body. They lead to this rebound effect where individuals they overcompensate because they've been restricted for so long that now they're consuming larger quantities of these forbidden foods that again don't make their body feel good. Okay, cause they're gonna. Eventually you're going to give into quote unquote temptation because you just took it off the table, you restricted it, which makes it so much more charged up with that distrust that you have with it, with the desire to have something that you have made forbidden. And then restrictive diets cause a lot of negative emotional impact unhealthy fixation and preoccupation with that food, social and psychological impacts of not being able to, you know, go out with your friends, because it's gonna impact your social life, because you can't be around certain foods, it's gonna impact your mental health, lead to disordered eating, okay.

Speaker 1: 17:21

So this restrictive mindset, it's really important to note that these issues associated with restrictive diets and just diets are not related to the food. It's related to the mindset around food and taking food off limits. Because what happens when you are on a keto diet? Right, what's the problem? It's the carbs. What happens when you are on a no sugar diet? What's the problem? It's the sugar. Whatever is demonized in that diet becomes the charged up food. Whatever food you label as bad and say you cannot have becomes the problem. So it's not actually the food, it's the relationship with the specific food that you make to be the culprit. It's different for everyone, different for whatever trust they have with it, with those foods and whatever diet they're on. Okay, food is not the problem.

Speaker 1: 18:13

Number four Lack of a tune, eating and body distrust. The challenge of that disconnect with your body is what is the problem? Not food, but your lack of in your ability to be attuned and to have that intuition with your body and to be able to trust that intuition, leading to a lot of body trust and a lot of disconnect from your body and from food. It's really, really hard to be attuned when we don't trust our body and when we don't trust food, achieving attuned eating and intuitive eating, where an individual can listen to their body's cues for hunger, for fullness, for what kind of food they want, and respond appropriately, can be very challenging in today's society, especially when we are told that we cannot trust our hunger cues. We are need to manage our body. We need to restrict our calories. It doesn't matter if we're hungry. We need to restrict certain types of foods. We cannot trust them. This creates huge problems with our relationship with food, and one significant barrier to attuned eating is specifically that body distrust we create, which is essentially the inability to trust your body's signals and its instincts and what it's telling you. And that's the only way to know how to eat is when we are listening and tuning into what feels good, what feels respectful, what feels compassionate, what our body is telling us about, what it needs.

Speaker 1: 19:45

This lack of trust is deeply ingrained and it really stems from societal influences like diets, like fat phobia, past experiences, personal insecurities, and so, again, what happens with this impact of body distrust, dissatisfaction and guilt with our body with food, overeating, binging under eating, disordered eating, strained relationship with food, so so much. It's not food, it's the relationship with food. All right, the next one it is not food that's the problem. It may be your relationship with body image. Unexplored aspects of body image and your relationship with self are something I see so often with folks. Body image and dissatisfaction with their body, not feeling good in their body, feeling uncomfortable, constantly weighing and body checking, shaming their body, being super critical, not going out due to their body, putting their body on hold or, I'm sorry, their life on hold due to body image those often keep people stuck. Those unexplored things. Body image is a huge. It's like an umbrella. The umbrella of body images is very vast, it covers a lot of different things and so often people may not be fully completing body image work or they might not even be starting or doing any kind of body image work and they're just labeling food as the problem without understanding this complex interplay with their relationship with their body. And so this is something that has to be explored most of the time, even to be able to move some of the pieces with food and with your relationship with body, if you wanna fully heal your relationship with food, if some body image stuff has to come first and you have to build some trust and respect there, understanding or do some education around body image. That might have to come first in order to feel comfortable doing some of the food work. Like bringing in some really scary foods Sometime because you might say someone's reasoning, maybe I can't have these certain types of foods because I am very concerned about weight gain. I feel really uncomfortable in my body. So that part has to be explored and feel safe enough to experiment with your relationship with food. So body image is huge, all right, and let's talk about the last reason why food is not the problem and what is when it comes to our relationship with food, and this is healthism.

Speaker 1: 22:31

Healthism is a complex phenomenon. It's a concept that describes a societal emphasis on health as this moral imperative and as a marker of personal responsibility. It's been gaining a lot of recognition in recent years and it's a critical issue. It's a critical issue. Healthism involves a belief that individuals are solely responsible for their health. Right, it's completely your responsibility. What happens to you is completely your responsibility. Whatever medical conditions are developed, it's your responsibility, and oftentimes blames the responsibility of what you're consuming and how you're moving. And it results in this prioritization of health above all other aspects of life. And let's explore some of this. There's a whole other episode on this, on healthism, so look this one up Now. I've mentioned three different podcasts, but I am gonna explore it briefly here.

Speaker 1: 23:29

So what are the key characteristics of healthism and what are its implications? The first one is moral judgment. Healthism involves making moral judgments about an individual's character, or your own character, based on your health behaviors and being perceived as quote unquote. Healthy is equated with being more disciplined, while poor health is seen as a reflection of laziness and self-control. We can obviously see how many problems this creates. This sense of responsibility over ourselves, this stigma, when it comes to medical conditions, of just being lazy or lack of self-control, absolutely, absolutely harmful.

Speaker 1: 24:13

The next implication it has is, and the next characteristics that you would see with healthism, is this individual responsibility. It places this heavy burden of responsibility on individuals for their health outcomes. It disregards the influence of so many other factors that contribute to your health, like social determinants of health, such as economic status, access to healthcare, access to food, access to maybe produce and environmental factors as well, which can significantly impact your health. And lastly, another characteristics of healthism would be the wellness industry, the rise of this wellness industry, with this focus on diet supplements, all fueled by healthism, and this industry capitalizes on the fear of poor health and often offers products and services to address these fear, capitalizing on that fear when it comes to health and the responsibility they're putting on you. So this really has a huge impact on people's psychological well-being because it creates this anxiety and guilt surrounding food, surrounding health behaviors, making you feel really pressured and shameful and have these unrealistic standards Okay, and this can lead to a lot of yeah, just a lot of stress and further health problems, right, it also is extremely confusing.

Speaker 1: 25:40

There's a lot of information out there and a lot of incorrect information about health and food and what we should be eating and what we shouldn't be eating, really demonizing foods and it's in. You don't know what to trust and there's a lot of incorrect information out there. So, for healthism, go ahead and check out that podcast, but I just wanted to give you a little idea of what healthism is and why this is a problem when it comes to our relationship with food. So, all in all, what impacts our relationship with food? It is not food itself. That is the problem, and why. What is the problem? Well, what is the problem is that we charge up food. We take food which is neutral and we charge it up. We cope through food behaviors and with food we turn to restrictive dieting. We have unresolved body image and self-relationship issues that need to be looked at and instead of looking at those, we're looking at food as this culprit.

Speaker 1: 26:49

And then, lastly, healthism, which creates a lot of shame and fear and responsibility, putting so much responsibility on us, saying we are solely responsible for our health. There is, it is up to us and whatever happens with our medical conditions, with our health, it is our fault. We could have avoided that right, which is a huge problem, as you can imagine. So food itself is not the problem. I hope this was helpful to help to maybe plant some seeds.

Speaker 1: 27:24

If you're really really convinced and really really feel that food is the problem, or a certain type of food or certain category of food is the problem and that's what needs to be removed. But if you're finding yourself in this cycle of removing that food, that's the problem, but still coming back to that and binging on it and feeling out of control and more distressed than ever with that food. I hope this was helpful to maybe look at some other things that might need to be explored in your relationship with food that can create all of these issues. By fostering a healthier relationship with food and really exploring all these issues and so much more, you can build a relationship with food that's based on trust with your body, trust with food, self-compassion, respect, mindfulness and understanding your body and building a relationship with your body and taking care of your emotional well-being as well and your holistic health, and not coping through food. By really working on all these different areas and not saying food is the problem.

Speaker 1: 28:30

Food is the reason we can actually get to the real reasons that are causing a lot of distress in your relationship with food and your relationship with your body and just stress overall in your life. It's really, really crucial to look at this. I hope this was helpful. I hope I was able to plant some seeds. I hope you took something away that you can ponder and maybe journal about. Until next time. I'm thinking of you all. You're doing great. I'm so glad you are here with me.