Struggling with food and body image can feel like an endless battle, but it's one that Lauren has bravely faced. Join us for an intimate and inspiring conversation where Lauren shares her transformative journey from the depths of binge eating and body dysmorphia to the liberating path of recovery. Lauren reveals how she redefined her relationship with food, broke free from the clutches of food addiction, and found hope amidst the once-overwhelming shadow of shame.
If you are finally ready to reach full recovery and achieve food and body freedom, check out my free minicourse and apply to work with me today! We can't wait to see you there!
https://www.jamiethedietitian.com/minicourse
Struggling with food and body image can feel like an endless battle, but it's one that Lauren has bravely faced. Join us for an intimate and inspiring conversation where Lauren shares her transformative journey from the depths of binge eating and body dysmorphia to the liberating path of recovery. Lauren reveals how she redefined her relationship with food, broke free from the clutches of food addiction, and found hope amidst the once-overwhelming shadow of shame.
If you are finally ready to reach full recovery and achieve food and body freedom, check out my free minicourse and apply to work with me today! We can't wait to see you there!
https://www.jamiethedietitian.com/minicourse
Okay, lauren, thank you so much for being here with me today. I'm really excited to chat and to hopefully help other people see the transformation that you've had where you started and where you are now. So, without further ado, we'll go ahead and dive into some of the questions for today I would love to hear about. We'll start with how would you describe your overall experience working with me, with your relationship with food and body?
Speaker 2:your overall experience working with me, with your relationship with food and body. Yeah, I would feel I have to say that the therapy with you and the work that I've done with you has been really life-changing. I feel like if it weren't for your dedication and your compassion to this type of therapy, I would still be struggling and I would still be. I'd still be binging and have body dysmorphia.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm so glad I could be part of your journey. That is awesome. You did so well. Um, I could you tell people about what it life was like, maybe pretty specifically with food and body, and then just how it impacted maybe life and relationships or other. You know parts, specific parts, of your life before we started working together.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like life was definitely a struggle before I started working with you. Eating was at times very daunting and eating was a lot of restriction and then binging, and I really struggled with my body image. I was constantly comparing myself to other people. There were times where I didn't even want to go out to restaurants and stuff with people because I had already binged during the day and I just wanted to restrict at night. Or sometimes I would go to a restaurant with people and then I would eat a very small amount and then I'd come home and feel like I was had restricted myself at dinner. So I would binge at night and it was just a constant cycle of binging and restricting and this negative body image that I had. It was all consuming and life was very stressful going through that.
Speaker 2:And, um, there were times where I couldn't share my journey with others because you know eating doesn't feel like it has. I don't like you, you you eat, you know it's not. It's not something that you, um, really struggle with or that other people struggle with, and I felt very isolated during that time. Yeah, yeah, and um, you know it's not like I had a tobacco addiction so I couldn't go through a treatment for tobacco addiction, but I just felt like I couldn't talk to anybody about my my issues at that time and you felt addicted to foods Like.
Speaker 1:you felt like I would describe myself, because when you're using the word addiction, I would describe myself as addicted to foods or certain foods.
Speaker 2:Yes, I felt like it was an addiction and I felt like it was silly and embarrassing and I felt a lot of shame around it to share that with other people, because food is food. You shouldn't have an addiction to food. But that's what I, that's how I felt at the time. But a lot of people go through this and I've realized that now.
Speaker 1:A lot of people I hear food addiction all the time and it does feel. It's feel so shameful in isolation, especially when you know you don't have the right supportive resources and you don't know how common of a struggle this is. Thank you for sharing that, lauren, I'm curious about. Can you tell me about what? What led you to this place? So of course you you didn't just start one day binging and having body image distress, what, what has, what was your relationship with food and body growing up? If you could describe a little bit of that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I think it really stemmed from my mom. She had a lot of issues with body image. So growing up we moved around a lot and I found a lot of comfort in food. And I remember at a very young age I was probably nine years old I was hiding wrappers under my bed and even at that young age I knew that there was shame and I felt that shame and it was. It's weird and it's really sad to think that a nine-year-old would feel such shame around food and that they would have to hide wrappers. Um, I feel bad for that little girl, um, but I find comfort in knowing that she was able to recover and be the adult that she is now and um.
Speaker 2:So you know, I started a diet at around 10 and then 12 years old, um, and my mom and my mom and dad you know I can't put all the blame on them, because they were doing the best that they could at the time and they thought, by making me feel better in my skin and my body that you know I was I wouldn't need a diet.
Speaker 2:That was the treatment at the time, instead of putting me in therapy, um, and so I was placed on several diets as a young child and, um, and then I found power lifting and I found macronutrient tracking and I thought that that was the end, all be all and I, um, I thought that I was safe and that, um, I was never going to go back to being overweight you know, for my version or my definition overweight and and then I relapsed right, my definition relapse and I started binging again and feeling lots of shame around that and it felt like all that shame just flooded back in from when I was a child and that depression came, came back, and and then I just did like a dietician Google search and I found you and yeah, session together.
Speaker 1:That's I feel for you in that cycle. I know it so well, it's so hard. You are trying so hard to get out of it, Like you said, okay, well, if I do this diet. Trying so hard to get out of it, Like you said, okay, well, if I do this diet, if I do this diet and your parents, not knowing like this is what is taught, do these diets and what happens is it just gets us further in the cycle and more feeling more shameful that we quote unquote failed the diet Right. So you probably tried numerous amounts of diets restricting different groups, finding how did you feel after every time you tried that new diet and it and you quote unquote failed the diet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was. It was really discouraging Because, like I said, I thought when I found the macronutrient tracking that that was the last stop, that that that was that was life-saving and at the time I felt good doing it. But it wasn't life-changing or life-saving because it led to another downfall of binge eating and feeling depressed about eating and not knowing how to eat, and this endless cycle came back.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and probably even more. Like now, I'm more confused about food because diet added more rules that contradict the other diet. So now I'm even more confused about food because diet added more rules that contradict the other diet. So now I'm even more confused about how to eat.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I felt lost because I had tried so many diets and after that one I just after all those diets, I just felt like a failure. And I do want to share my first session with you. I'll always remember this. You asked me like what? Like what do you eat during the day? Like what's your, what's your process as you eat through the day? And I was telling you, well, like I start with my first cup of coffee and I I weigh out my coffee cream, and as we started navigating that process of how I eat and how I track, you were like I think you kind of challenged me and you're like, do you realize that's not normal? Or you said something like that in a therapeutic sense, like you say and.
Speaker 2:I was like, yeah, that sounds weird. And then the first session, you challenged me to go home and get rid of the food scale and I did. And it was so hard to just eat because I was hungry or just feed into that binge, because I need to do that, I need to challenge myself on that. So I'll never forget that so hard.
Speaker 1:You're going against what you wired into your brain Like, and also, it's funny, cause you, you, you hear over and over again, you need to, you need to weigh out or measure your creamer. Right, I did the same thing, you need to measure out your creamer. But then if someone reframe, goes against that grain and that grain and says, do we think that's a little strange, that we might need to do that and the control we're trying to have and what that's actually doing and it's such a new. But when you dive into that intuition and that compassionate part, you're like actually that is strange. Maybe that isn't what we're supposed to be doing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and one other thing to add, if this is okay when I was in nursing school, I was at the children eating disorder like clinic or whatever that they have here in Denver and it was with like children and adolescents and when I was doing that clinical rotation that one of the doctors there he like specializes in eating disorders, of course, because he's the doctor there, and he was telling, like sharing with the team, the medical team, these parents do macro tracking.
Speaker 2:And that's the time that I was doing it and I was deep into macro tracking and everything. And to hear him say that that's not normal and that if this kid is seeing that their parent, their own parents, are doing that and this kid already has an eating disorder, that's going to be really challenging for this kid to recover Right, and so to hear this doctor say that that's not normal and that those parents need to stop that, I would. That like really went against my, my belief, you know, in that cause. I was like, oh no, this works for me, it's not bad. I didn't do that, but I was like what?
Speaker 1:So it was challenging. Yes, it's very challenging. You really like reject some of these things. You hear um from other people that might hit something that's just so confusing to you. Like that goes against my this belief system so much you almost like avoid it. You almost like avoid it. You almost like don't look at it. Yeah, intentionally. Yes. Well, thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 1:I'm curious if you can share a little bit more before we go into where you're at now and not binging and having a good relationship with your body, just to dive a little bit more into your story, because I know other people listening maybe thinking well, lauren doesn't struggle as much as I, I do, or maybe that's not to the depths of which I was at and I have. I am unhelpful. Can you, would you mind sharing about? I'm going to ask you two questions. First about the binging and how like bad it got of, how much it felt, how out of control, and again, there's so many people have been there and I have been there. Can you tell me a little bit about that? And then we'll talk a little bit more about the body image piece before we move on to where you are now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so when I was doing all that macronutrient tracking, there were days where my binging got so out of hand that, um, I would restrict the following day. So I would. I would take out like a thousand calories the following day. Um, my fit cause I use my fitness pal all the time at that time, at that time of my life and um, so I was aware of what I was eating, from the carbohydrate micro, like milligram, to um, to fats and fats into protein, and I was making sure that I was hitting those macronutrients from day to day. And, um, it got so out of hand that I was like almost starving myself the next day. And then I feel like I would get back on track and then, because of the restriction, the constant restriction, I would be so hungry and fatigued that it would just spiral out of control again the following day and I would lead to binging again.
Speaker 2:And, yeah, I felt so ashamed and helpless myself and out of control that I felt like nobody could help me. My husband couldn't help me, my friends couldn't help me, my parents couldn't help me and I felt like a therapist or a dietitian would not even be able to help me. My parents couldn't help me and I felt like a therapist or a dietitian would not even be able to help me, and it was so isolating because I felt like I'm the only one going through this. Everybody else eats. Normal Eating shouldn't be an issue. This, this, should be something that I have control over, and I don't, and I didn't have any resources or anywhere to turn to to to figure out this issue.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, absolutely. That's so hard. I remember you being in the throes of it and just that those struggles with feeling like those binges that were occurring were going to happen daily and get worse and be binging on more foods. I remember just the and I remember that for myself that like very, very valid fear and then shame that comes along with struggling with binging.
Speaker 1:Can you share a little bit about how body image played a role, because I uh, body image oftentimes like people will come and they'll get the support for food and binging or whatever they're going through restriction, whatever they might be going through in body images missed. Can you tell me a bit about and we'll talk about where you are now but with body image, how did that play an integral role? And what were you experiencing day-to-day with with your behaviors around body image? How did that play an integral role and what were you experiencing day-to-day with with your behaviors around body image and your thoughts? Again, for folks out there who may be really struggling obsessively with body image, um, feeling like this is something that will they'll, they'll always be struggling with.
Speaker 2:Yeah, at the time, you know, throughout the binging, everything, my body started to get larger, as as it would when you eat more, and I started my body started to feel tighter in clothing and, as a from a result of that, I started to hate my body and I saw it getting bigger in areas where I didn't want it to get bigger and and you know there's so much, there's so many bodies on instagram and you know you want to attain that type of body and you're constantly comparing yourself to others and I definitely compared myself to others and struggled with body image and I.
Speaker 2:That was tough because I before before you know, relapsing, I guess I could say and going back to the cycle of binging and then restricting. I was powerlifting and I was really strong and I felt very confident in my skin at the time, my body getting bigger and feeling like I hated my body and feeling ashamed of my body after having a really nice body. That I thought at the time it was hard because I would compare myself to what I looked like prior to that and then I would compare myself to others and it was really stressful and depressing at the time to constantly compare yourself to a previous version of yourself that you thought that you would probably never get back to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so with body image, I'd love to hear about how it. What were your behaviors around body image as far as body checking, or your thoughts when you were in that place, and how did it fuel the binging and your problems with food?
Speaker 2:Yes, okay, I'm so glad that you asked the body checking, because I feel like I was body checking a lot. I feel like as a kid, I started to body check as I was going throughout all those diets and everything in that process, and so I think I've been, I was body checking a lot prior to even even the time that I had, like before I met you and that you even put that thought into my head, cause I didn't even realize what body checking was. I didn't even know that that's like a problem all in itself, right, and so I was constantly body checking and, you know, trying to find an affirmation of like or, you know, confirmation of like what does my body look like today? Do I look skinny or do I look stronger? Um, so, yeah, I was constantly checking myself in the mirror. Um, I would look down at my abdomen, I would look at my arms and, um, whether I was looking at my body neutrally or or if I was checking to see if my abdomen was hanging over my pants or something.
Speaker 2:I was doing a lot of body checking at the time and because of that, I was putting these thoughts into my head about you know, it always stemmed from negative thoughts and when I would check my body and see what it appeared like in a mirror my body and see what it appeared like in a mirror I would have these negative thoughts about my body doesn't look like it used to and I would always have a negative, negative words and phrases. Yeah, it was just a struggle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, absolutely. How did body checking impact? Or and just that constant obsessive like got to be thinking about what my body looks like. I got to think about how this food impacts my body. I gotta think about how this exercise impacts my body and all of that. How did it impact? Like your relationships or your choices, with what you did every day, or going out, or your goals? How did that impact? Like your life? Because food and body. That's why I'm so passionate about helping people with this because it just steals your life and it doesn't have to be that way. But you only have so much energy and time and if it's spent on food and body, you're taking it away from other places and you're saying no to other things that are your values with. How is that impacting your life and relationships?
Speaker 2:Yeah, at the time it definitely impacted my life because I felt so awful in my own skin and I wanted to restrict so much and then binge in private that I wouldn't go out with friends or I felt uncomfortable in clothing. So I that deterred me from hanging out with people that I enjoyed spending time with and I isolated myself as a result of feeling so isolated in my disorder.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, absolutely, and it's. It's just such a lonely place to be and, again, people do not have to stay stuck. So let's, let's go into the thank you for sharing that that's going to be so helpful for folks. I'd love to get into where you are now and that exciting happy place where I know you mentioned before we got on the call that you never thought you could be here and.
Speaker 1:I think that's an important note to mention is that that is such a struggle. It's so hard. It feels like you will stay trapped forever and, unfortunately, people get all the wrong messages and you think I will always be struggling, struggling with this. This will always impact my life. I will never recover from this. And now here you are on the other side in recovery, not binging with a good relationship with your body. I'd love to just hear about where you're at now with your relationship with food, with body, and how that impacts your life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I, I just want to touch on um, feeling like a person that would never be able to recover. Yeah, that that felt very real at the time and so I I can empathize with others coming in to this journey, feeling like they'll never recover, because I grew up on diet after diet, and that was my adolescent, my adolescence, and, and as a teenager, I struggled with body image, constantly comparing myself, and then as a young adult, and so I thought that I would never have a journey of recovery and that process with you. It was challenging, but allowing myself the patience and giving myself love, through that I was able to recover. And the days were challenging of recovery, but through my commitment to the process I was able to recover and just reminding myself every day, even now, that it's okay to struggle. I'm not going to have this, I'm not going to have a consistent journey every day where I feel 100% in my body or that I'm confident every day. You know it's a lifetime journey and I'm okay with that and I've come to terms with that and I love that, because life, life is about going through ups and downs. You know it's a it's not a linear process and and I've come to terms with that. What my life looks like now is I'm able to go out with friends and I'm able to enjoy life.
Speaker 2:You challenged me throughout the recovery process and working with you to buy clothes that fit my body, and I've continued to implement that throughout my life and I don't binge anymore. If I feel like I want something more you know, extra candy or extra food I'll allow myself to have that, but it doesn't lead to a binge. And I think that's the reason why it doesn't lead to a binge is because every day, every week, for the past four years since we worked together, I have challenged that process and in the beginning days I was binging a lot, but it started to die down, it started to go away. The binges would become less and less because I constantly challenged that and I put that to the fire and through that commitment and those exercises and those resources that you provided me with, I was able to recover.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's amazing, once thinking I'm never going to recover. Yeah, that's amazing, once thinking I'm never going to recover and then now four years binge free and like when? Again feeling like I can never get there. And that's such a strong message that you can live so much of your life struggling with not trusting food, with not trusting body, with not having a good body image, with not knowing how to eat, and it doesn't have to continue to be your life and I think people don't always that. I don't think that message is spread a lot either, but then also, it's just it. It feels very impossible. So thank you for sharing that. I'm curious to hear more about how your your trust in food and how that has transformed, because a lot of people coming in do not trust food. Food is the enemy. I'm the only one who cannot be around food, but of course we still need to eat. How has that transformation with understanding food and health and just being able to trust yourself around food? Where is that now?
Speaker 2:just being able to trust yourself around food. Where is that now? I definitely have a neutral perspective of food. I don't label foods as bad or good and, being in the healthcare field and being a nurse, I remember you helped me define health, because I think, especially in America, we define health as having a fit body and, um, being able to run fast. And you know, whatever that definition is, um, you helped me define it myself and it was. It was a struggle for myself because, being a nurse in the healthcare field, I I wasn't sure and um, you're like well, how do you define health? And my definition still is to this day is well, like, is my A1C normal? Is my cholesterol normal? Is my cholesterol normal? Is my blood pressure normal? And another variant to that is like, how is my endurance? Can I keep up? Can I go on hikes and everything. So I've been able to define health differently maybe from other people, and that's okay.
Speaker 1:And that was my mental health and my emotional health and my social health, because we know those are all horribly impacted by the incorrect definition of the strict definition of health and what you need good food and all of that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I don't isolate myself anymore. I'm able to go out to restaurants and eat a normal uh, not no, I wouldn't say normal but like I may be able to eat a meal that satisfies me. You know that I feel normal. I'm not going to get a salad. Yeah, I'm not going to get a salad and restrict myself. And if I want a salad, I'm going to eat a salad I like there.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you want salads and sound like oh, salad's not a thing I have to have. Now, sometimes I I enjoy salad and I still enjoy vegetables and fruits, which I think is so also helpful. I remember thinking you saying I'm never going to want fruits and vegetables again. Or these healthy, these quote, unquote healthy things, because if I allow myself to have these donuts that I've been John, or if I allow myself to have whatever I want in a restaurant, why would I want the other things?
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, and, and food isn't as charged as it used to be, and so I'm able to just eat what I want, and then I'm able to come home and I still feel satiated and satisfied, and I feel like I don't have to binge, because before the program, after a restaurant, I would come home because I restricted at the, at the restaurant, and I didn't feel satisfied, and so I would binge on more food, and even the next day it may even carry on to the next day and I would continue to binge the following day.
Speaker 1:Right, Right, Right. Like you said, that cycle that you can't escape because we're trying to escape in all the wrong ways rather than sitting in the discomfort and doing some of these really hard things, that actually truly gets us to a binge read place, to a body acceptance place, to a healthy place where we feel good in our bodies, we feel capable, we feel, like you said, our bodies can do these things in the ways we want with athletics and just yeah, it's just all the wrong things are being taught we. It's hard to get uncomfortable and do it different when we're told X, Y and Z that don't work.
Speaker 2:And even now, even with like body image, just to kind of touch on that subject. Yeah, I remember one session with you. I was wearing shorts cause it was summer and it was hot, but I didn't like the way my legs looked. And I like put a pillow over my abdomen and like my legs and you were like you kind of challenged me on that and you're like do you, are you doing that because you feel uncomfortable right now or just cause you want a pillow on your lap? And I think I lied to you and I was like, um no, I like the comfort of the pillow.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, I know it so well. I would put pillows on me too.
Speaker 2:And I don't do that anymore. And even if I, if I feel like I am uncomfortable in my skin because, like I said, not every day is a hundred percent I'm not going to feel a hundred percent confident in my skin every day and if I feel like I'm going for that pillow to cover myself up, to cover my body, I do challenge myself now and I say, no, that doesn't need to happen, and it's okay that you feel uncomfortable, like. It's okay, you don't need to cover your body, you're fine, right.
Speaker 1:And those are the necessary body image exposures. That because by doing that and by doing you know that body checking and hiding your body, that is sending a lot of messages that impact your relationship with your body and your relationship with food. Well, that is wonderful. It's again so good. I know we chatted before this, but it's so good to hear you continue to feel confident with food, trusting of food, loving towards your body and where you don't need to have 80% of your brain space going to food and body but it's just a normal part of your everyday and you can think about your relationships and going out and enjoying food and still eating fruits and vegetables and still you said rock climbing and I know you're an athletic person and still doing these things and then not be connected to the sense of control and the sense of shame and distrust and disrespect.
Speaker 2:Yes, you should be very proud of yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and the other thing that just kind of popped into my head was during one of our sessions. I think I was like going to Italy and I was worried about like having to go buy clothes that are going to fit my body comfortably and get rid of the clothes that are tight. And you told me I think it was you that told me try on the clothes and get rid of the clothes that are tight. And um, and you told me I think it was you that told me, um, try on the clothes and don't face the mirror, and and then just see how you feel in the clothes and then turn around and see what you think you look like, and um, and see if you feel okay in that outfit.
Speaker 2:And I, I still do that. I still implement that tool. Um, yeah, and I go to those. When I go to the mall, I still try on clothes, facing away from the mirror, and if the clothes fit me comfortably, I'll end up purchasing them, and if they don't, then I just put them back. And that's a neutral perspective and I'm okay with that now. And it took me a while to get to that point of feeling okay and comfortable with that idea and I hope that others can implement that practice in their life too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, that's fantastic to hear to hear. And, yeah, body image is super complex. There's so many things that need to be addressed there and you're you're naming some of these tools that, like, we worked with and I believe, like these, these, really, you can't do body image work without food. You can't do the food work without body image, and there's so many things to unpack.
Speaker 1:It's like we're we're we're taking down this, this tower of things that do not work, that are all intertwined, while we're building this new relationship with these things up. And it can be really uncomfortable because it's like we are moving to a new house and we know that's house we want to be at, it's our ideal house, it's the perfect house, it's going to fit our new family, it's like exactly in the location we want, but it's still, when we move into a new house, it's it's uncomfortable because we don't know that house, we know this house and we know it's not working for us, but it's's it could be uncomfortable. And so, again, you should be very proud of yourself for going through all the work and really getting into the nitty gritty and I just really appreciate you sharing your story around all of this. It's going to be super helpful, I know, for folks to hear.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. I hope that my journey can help others recovery too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, it's so important. I think it will absolutely help people. I have just one last question In what ways do you believe working with me can benefit individuals who are actively seeking support from their struggle struggles with body image and food? How would it help their struggle and their and their life? What would you tell them?
Speaker 2:I'm going to refer to my notes for this, because I thought a lot about this and, um, there's a lot surrounding this and I want to make sure that I touch on Awesome, yeah, um. So the first thing is, with your special specialized knowledge and eating disorders, body dysmorphia, you have a lot of research that you have included in your programs and even when I was working with you, you have a lot of research that you have included in your programs and even when I was working with you, you always pointed me to different tools and resources and research, because I'm a very research focused person and I'm very analytical and I liked that you pointed me to the research, so that was very helpful in my journey and so with all of that, all of your experience, I feel like that is definitely going to help people. You have several years of experience. You helped me understand the underlying causes of my eating disorder and you worked with me to develop personalized coping strategies.
Speaker 2:Every time I worked with you, you always made me feel like it was a safe space to share my deepest, darkest struggles, even struggles that I didn't even want to share with my own spouse at the time or my own family. I was able to share that with you, because you always provided this safe, comfortable space. You always approached our conversations with objective strategies and the conversation always felt safe and I never felt like judged by you. And let me see what else. You fostered a journey of self-discovery that I never thought that I would go through. I never felt like I was deserving of recovery, even though I wanted it so bad, and you helped me feel like I wasn't isolated, because it is such an isolating disorder to go through. As well as encouraging the development and support of my own network, you helped me to develop tools and lifetime strategies to manage my disordered thoughts and disordered eating that I still implement to this day, and your compassion and understanding provided me with recovery which I never thought I would have until working with you.
Speaker 1:Thanks, lauren. That means so much and I'm so I just love. I love, too, that you noted again that recovery is absolutely possible. I know that first session you were probably really doubtful and I'm sure a lot of people listening are really doubtful that they can get the help and support. But recovery is there and that's such a passion to let everyone know that that is there, no matter how much they think it's not there for them. I just would challenge, like I challenged you. Maybe you haven't done the right things, maybe you had the wrong education, maybe you had a lot of experiences that are really causing you to believe that you've tried everything, but you haven't tried everything. There are other ways. It's absolutely possible and you deserve to look for and get that for yourself and open up your life to more so you have that freedom with food and body. So thank you so much for sharing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I also just want to add that going through recovery is challenging and you just have to at that time. You just have to allow yourself the space to go through that recovery. And every day might be hard, even years after, like what I'm going through now. It's like I said this this process isn't linear and not every day Am I going to feel comfortable in my body, or maybe one day I will overeat, but the next day I am able to get up easier and realize and recognize that's okay. Maybe I overate today or maybe I'm having a bad body image day today, but I'm able to perceive and understand that thought and then just let it go and move on with the rest of my day, because I've allowed myself and the compassion to give myself that space and be patient with myself and love myself, and that those are all the tools and everything that you gave me, that you provided me in your program. Through through that therapy with you, I've been able to recover. So I hope people give themselves that space as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's so helpful and I think you you know you're ending this interview on a really good note, which is exactly what you just said is you allowed yourself to go through the process and trust the process and trust and give yourself enough time and space to really thoroughly go through some things that were really uncomfortable, because it's not until you open those doors and practice and do things differently and surrender and say I'm ready for this process, that you can be where you are now with that trust, with food in your body without those distressing thoughts, with being able to body without those distressing thoughts, with being able to move on from a negative thought without you know quote unquote eating something that feels that society would say is not okay, let you then cause you to then have shame and binge and be in this cycle of complete distrust and dissatisfaction that just impacts your life.
Speaker 1:So you did the hard work and that's why that's why you're here. Thank you, yeah, thank you so much, lauren. I really, really appreciate it. I think this is really going to help people and I just appreciate you sharing your story.
Speaker 1:Yes you're welcome, thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you.