How much do you trust yourself? Do you have your own back when things get tough? In today's episode, your host Rae will be sharing with you five ways you can strengthen the relationship you have with yourself.
Tune in to discover:
Five ways to be your own bestie
Why the relationship with yourself is the most important one
What being in integrity means and why it's so pivotal for self-trust
The benefits of inner child healing and how emotional intelligence will set you apart from other people
Four opportunities to deepen that relationship with yourself and work with Rae in the upcoming months
Participate in Curious Convos. Share your questions and topic requests!
Disclaimer: Please remember that the information shared on this podcast is intended to inspire, educate, and support you on your personal journey. It does not substitute for professional mental health advice. I am not a psychologist or medical professional. If you are experiencing any emotional distress, mental health challenges, or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified professional.
How much do you trust yourself? Do you have your own back when things get tough? In today's episode, your host Rae will be sharing with you five ways you can strengthen the relationship you have with yourself.
Tune in to discover:
Five ways to be your own bestie
Why the relationship with yourself is the most important one
What being in integrity means and why it's so pivotal for self-trust
The benefits of inner child healing and how emotional intelligence will set you apart from other people
Four opportunities to deepen that relationship with yourself and work with Rae in the upcoming months
Participate in Curious Convos. Share your questions and topic requests!
Disclaimer: Please remember that the information shared on this podcast is intended to inspire, educate, and support you on your personal journey. It does not substitute for professional mental health advice. I am not a psychologist or medical professional. If you are experiencing any emotional distress, mental health challenges, or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified professional.
Speaker 1:
Welcome to the Radiant Life podcast.
Speaker 1:
I'm your host, ray the Somatic Coach, and I'm here to support you in healing your past, living in the present and creating your future so that you can become the most centered, embodied and happiest version of yourself. Each week, I'll be bringing you episodes to help you navigate life's challenges, ease stress and tension and learn more about holistic healing, spirituality and wellness. If you're interested in becoming the best version of yourself so that you can live the life of your dreams, then you're in the right place. Subscribe to the podcast in the monthly newsletter and follow me on Instagram and TikTok to know when new episodes are released each week. I am so happy that you've landed here. Let's dive in. Hello, my friends, welcome back to the podcast. If you are new here, I'm Ray. I'm a Somatic Coach and Breathwork facilitator. And if you aren't new here, welcome back. I'm so excited you're here and I can't wait to dive into today's episode with you.
Speaker 1:
So, for today, we're going to be talking about the relationship that you have with yourself, and the reason why I chose this topic was for two reasons. I found that it was coming up a lot with my individual clients Just this concept of actually feeling self-compassionate towards yourself, especially when you're doing inner child work or somatic coaching or something like that. If you're in a somatic experience, it's really important to have that capacity and that tool to be self-compassionate towards yourself. So it definitely was coming up with my private clients and then also for myself. I find, ironically enough, the episode that I just recorded was about anger and I find for myself sometimes, when anger comes up for me, it's really hard for me to understand or communicate if there was a boundary that was crossed or something like that. It's just an uncomfortable emotion. And so all of these parts that I'm going to share five different aspects of being your own best friend and strengthening the relationship that you have with yourself all of these steps that I'm going to mention have been really helpful for my clients as well as myself. So, yeah, I hope you find value in it and let's dive in.
Speaker 1:
So the first aspect of strengthening the relationship that you have with yourself is naming it and making it a relationship that you're willing to improve, Just like any other relationship that you have out there, whether it's with a friend or a parent or a sibling or a co-worker. If there's no interest or naming of improving that relationship. If it's something that you desire, then it's probably not really going to change. So if you're looking to be more self-compassionate with yourself and want to improve that relationship, name it. The relationship that you have with yourself is the most important one and I think really at the core of a lot of the work that I do is about this relationship. It's knowing that, whatever happens, you're not going to turn on yourself and you'll, that you'll always have your own back and this concept of always having your own back. I don't know if we really spend the time to think about it or talk about it or name it, and I took an online course for embodying confidence and this concept was one of the modules and it just landed so hard for me. It was like if we, we are already going up against so much externally right, like pressure from society or an uncomfortable relationship with a co-worker or Hearing negative feedback from your friends or you know I mean it could be anything but we're already going up against so much Externally that internally, we might as well be on our own team. We already have so much externally that we're Navigating. We might as well be our own best teammate. So, to summarize, the first way to strengthen the relationship that you have with yourself is to make it a relationship that you're willing to improve.
Speaker 1:
Alright, and number two, it's really important that we keep the agreements that we make to ourself. So I took a course when I was. I guess it was like kind of like a weekend long Retreat, I'm not, I'm not really sure what it would be called, but it was three or four days, and this was like when I was like 21 or 22 and One of my. I had a lot of takeaways from the weekend in itself, but one of the main takeaways that I had was the concept of integrity, and integrity, to summarize, is doing what you'll say you'll do and Staying true to your word. And so if we make agreements with ourself and then we don't show up for those agreements, it makes sense that maybe we wouldn't trust ourselves as much or maybe we would turn on ourself. So it's really important that, whatever agreements we're making to ourself, whether it's I'm gonna, you know, work out three times a day I mean three times a week, not three times a day I'm gonna work out three times a week or I'm gonna eat healthier you know, we have all of these goals that maybe we've set. You know, now that it's January and the new year just passed, like maybe, maybe you are thinking about what you want to change this year. It's like that's great and that's awesome. And how can you make agreements to yourself that will set yourself up for success, that will let yourself snowball into More success and more confidence and more self-trust, so whatever that looks like for you, just being an integrity with your own word and what you've really promised to yourself. And I can share a personal example Last week I had a cold.
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It wasn't anything crazy, it was just like a regular like had cold, like obviously it wasn't fun, but I wasn't like you know, um, I, it was just a regular head cold. So Saturday morning I was supposed to go for a run. One of the women that I've connected with in Long Beach this woman, sarah she's a running coach and she really incorporates mindfulness, movement, running, walking. So it's not necessarily about the result, it's about how you feel, it's about your mindset and it's really totally aligned with the kind of work that I do. So we connected and she wanted to create an in-person all-inclusive like running, walking, jogging, running club, and so when we connected, she invited me to collaborate with her on this idea and I was like absolutely, this is awesome. I have run in the past. I haven't been running lately, but maybe this will be kind of the inspiration or motivation that I need to pick running back up.
Speaker 1:
So anyway, saturday morning we had our first in-person meetup, and when I woke up, I had a cold the previous week and so I just really didn't feel well. I was just congested and I was just like I don't know, should I just not go? It was really foggy out. It wasn't necessarily cold, it was like 50 degrees, but it was really windy and it was like that eerie fog and I was like you know what? I'm going to go. Because I told myself that this is what I was doing. I set my alarm, I got up and maybe some fresh air will help. I'll bring a few tissues. I'm not like I already had a cold for like a week, so it's like the end of it. It's not like I'm like contagious or something like that, like I'm going to go. I said I was going to go, I'm going to go, and 1 million percent worked for me in the end, because I was so happy that I went.
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I met so many cool people. I was blown away with the people that were, that did show up and that were just like super cool. And we had a running group, we had a walking group. Anybody can come, like babies, strollers, dogs, like you name it bring them. And it was just so fun. And that's all because I had this previous lesson that I learned around integrity and I was just like you know what. Go back to the core. I said what I was going to do. I'm not, like you know, deathly ill. It's not like I just got sick or something like I know I can handle this. I'm going to stay true to my word. Just an example and I'm sure that you can think of a few that you've had recently and just knowing that keeping the agreements that you make to yourself will absolutely strengthen that relationship that you have with yourself. And then we have our third way of strengthening that relationship and I've mentioned this a little bit so far already in the beginning but really being your own best friend.
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If something comes up for you, if something is challenging, how would you talk to your absolute best friend about that thing? This could be something big, this could be something small. It could be a micro moment in the middle of your day. How would you talk to your best friend about that thing? I imagine it would be super compassionate, it would be really understanding. Maybe you would empathize with them. Maybe you would say I get that. That really makes sense. That would probably tick me off too. What would that holding, that space, holding that you would do for your friend? Can you give that same exact grace and compassion to yourself? And you can even use this how would you speak to your niece or your nephew? Or, if you're a parent and you have your own child, how would you speak to them if they were really uncomfortable around an emotion or felt really angry or felt really sad? They probably show up for them and just be like I've got you, no worries, and you might, you know, give them some motivational speaking or just listen to them and like hear them out. You wouldn't necessarily like push their emotions away or Make them wrong for feeling what they're feeling. How can you be your own best friend and how would you talk to your best friend about what's coming up for you? Or how would you speak to your niece, your nephew or, if your parent, how would you speak to your child about this thing.
Speaker 1:
And then our fourth way for you to strengthen the relationship that you have with yourself is to move at your pace. So Everyone is experiencing different challenges, going through different shifts, going through different up levels. You could be experiencing grief, breakups, promotions, having a child there are so many different milestones that we Experience in our life in general, but definitely, you know, in our 20s and 30s and 40s, and I mean it's just so much change and in the mix of all of those changes, allowing yourself to change and grow and Transform in a way that feels good for you. So an example that I loved Alex Hermosi shared a reel the other day of him Talking and he he was saying, like one of his friends said to him you know you're, you've changed, like you're different, and his response was like yeah, and you haven't. And I was like, oh, my god, that's so good, you know. So if you're experiencing something like of that flavor, just really allowing yourself to go at the pace that feels good for you in building this relationship that you have with yourself, allowing yourself to change, allowing yourself to let go of what's no longer serving you, and it might be uncomfortable, but again practicing that self-compassion, like knowing that, whatever process you're going through, like you're doing it, to have your own back, for your own growth, for your own Transformation, and that it's okay to change, like it's okay to be different and evolve and grow.
Speaker 1:
And then the last and fifth way to strengthen the relationship that you have with yourself is through a modality that I talk about, frequently known as inner child's healing. And this is so powerful because when you start practicing inner child work, what you're saying to yourself is that it all gets to be here, so there's no part of me that's off limits, there's no part of me that needs to be kind of pushed to the side. And and it's so much more powerful than quote-unquote thinking positive. Right, so we can think positive, we can think about our feelings, we can talk about our feelings. But when we're doing inner child's healing, we're really getting to the root of what those feelings and emotions might be and we're saying, like it's okay, you get to be here, nothing needs to change or be different like I've got you. And what's really helpful about this modality, too, is that sometimes and I've talked about this in a few previous episodes, but I'll bring it up here again, because it's what's coming up Um, is we kind of can hit ourselves with what's called a double arrow.
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So we're we're shot with one arrow. Let's say we're feeling anxious, we're shot with one hour, we're feeling anxious. And then, because we're feeling anxious, we start feeling shame or grief or guilt about our anxiety, so we shoot ourselves with another arrow, so we shoot ourselves with two arrows because we're feeling this emotion. We're like, nope, you shouldn't be feeling that way, like you should be grateful, you should be happy, you shouldn't be sad, you should be scared, like whatever the narrative is. And once you start doing the inner child work, you have the ability to Really be compassionate with yourself and really strengthen that relationship with yourself and Hit yourself with less of double arrows. So it's really helpful to kind of dive into this inner child realm and see what comes up for you.
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And another aspect of inner child healing that I find is so empowering is that Once you're able to get to the root of all of anything that might be coming up for you, you just know yourself so much in a like, in a deeper way, and you can understand yourself from a different perspective. That leads you to be more emotionally intelligent, and that is something that will set you apart from another person tenfold if you're able to meet yourself, when you are triggered, when something is coming up, when a boundary has been crossed, when something from your past maybe is coming up for you, and you're able to meet yourself with self compassion, practice your emotional intelligence, understand what's coming up for you. It's empowering and it also just kind of makes you like a mind body ninja like you are, like you can do anything, really bring so much power back to yourself rather than, if anything being like external to you, in an empowering way, not in like a gaslighting way, so Really understanding that in order to again strengthen that relationship with yourself, the more you understand about yourself, the stronger that relationship will be to All right. So to summarize the five ways to strengthen the relationship that you have with yourself the first make it a relationship that you're willing to improve. Name it. The second keep your agreements that you make to yourself. The third be your own best friend. How would you talk to your best friend about what's coming up for you? How would you meet your niece or nephew or child about what's coming up for you? The fourth go at the pace that feels good for you. Allow yourself to change, allow yourself to grow and number five inner child's healing and practicing the embodiment and the mindset that it all gets to be here. There's nothing that's off limits, bad or wrong Amazing. So I hope you got some nuggets from today's episode.
Speaker 1:
It was super fun for me to record and, before we sign off here, I'd love to share with you about some upcoming events that I have coming up either in January or February and yeah, so this Friday coming up, january 19th, I'll be doing a vision board workshop at Reiki shores right in Island Park and that's going to be a lot of fun. That will include a future self meditation, some journaling and then, of course, time to create your vision boards and all the materials are included, so that should be really fun. On January 25th, I'll be teaching a breath, where healing circle focused around anxiety and that will be at yoga shack right at Beth page on Long Island and that their community is great. It's a package of sessions, so it will be monthly for January, february and March, and every time I've taught at their studio it's always just been An amazing community and a great experience.
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So if you're looking to try breathwork, or if you've done breathwork before and you're looking to experience it in a group or in community. That will be a lot of fun. And then also on February 5th, 12th and 26th, I'll be offering individual breathwork sessions at Reiki shores right in Island Park. So if you've been looking for a one on one breathwork session, now is your time to jump on it. I'm not sure how long I'll be offering the one on one sessions, but I wanted to try it and I've definitely gotten the request to offer them in the past, so we'll kind of we'll see how it goes, we'll figure it out together. But the opportunity to work with me for a single individual one on one breathwork session the opportunity to work with me it for a single individual one on one breathwork session you can do that on February 5th, february 12th or February 26th. And then the last opportunity that I'll share with you is with modern wellness. On February 22nd, I will be hosting a virtual breathwork session. So this is also a breathwork healing circle. It will be focused around anxiety and releasing anxiety, and modern wellness is great. Bianca, the owner, she's wonderful, she'll be on the podcast soon and their community is lovely too. So if you want to be in community, if you want to release some anxiety and you want to connect with your breath, connect with your body, then definitely check out February 22nd virtual breathwork for anxiety at modern wellness.
Speaker 1:
Alright, so thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode. I'm so grateful that you tune in and listen and send me kind messages and just let me know how you're feeling, what's coming up for you. It has been such a fun process for me to create this podcast and just this have this outlet of my business, and you know I really love it and I really enjoy it. So thanks so much for tuning in. I hope you have an incredible week. I hope you have an incredible rest of your day and I will talk to you soon.
Speaker 1:
Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode. If you are moved or inspired, please share with me by leaving a reading and review on Apple podcast. It means the world to me and I am so appreciative for your support in helping my podcast grow. If we aren't already connected on social media, head over to Instagram and Tik Tok and follow me at Ray the Semantic Coach. Make sure you check out the show notes of today's episode for links to freebies, opportunities to work with me and ways we can stay connected outside of the podcast. I am so happy that you're here and I can now eat to talk with you on our next episode of the Radiant Life podcast.
