(#43) Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Fear of Judgement
May 22, 2024Episode 43
Rae The Somatic Coach
On today's episode of The Raediant Life Podcast, your host Rae shares about overcoming the fear of being disliked, judgement, and imposter syndrome! Tune in to receive:
Recognize the impact of seeking external validation and discover the tools to validate yourself from within
Understand the role of the inner critic and how it applies to fear and shame
Learn strategies to reduce the impact of the inner critic and the common symptoms of fear of failure, perfectionism, and comparison
Learn how to reframe challenges and embrace your achievements
Participate in Curious Convos. Share your questions and topic requests!
Disclaimer: Please remember that the information shared on this podcast is intended to inspire, educate, and support you on your personal journey. It does not substitute for professional mental health advice. I am not a psychologist or medical professional. If you are experiencing any emotional distress, mental health challenges, or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified professional.
On today's episode of The Raediant Life Podcast, your host Rae shares about overcoming the fear of being disliked, judgement, and imposter syndrome! Tune in to receive:
Recognize the impact of seeking external validation and discover the tools to validate yourself from within
Understand the role of the inner critic and how it applies to fear and shame
Learn strategies to reduce the impact of the inner critic and the common symptoms of fear of failure, perfectionism, and comparison
Learn how to reframe challenges and embrace your achievements
Participate in Curious Convos. Share your questions and topic requests!
Disclaimer: Please remember that the information shared on this podcast is intended to inspire, educate, and support you on your personal journey. It does not substitute for professional mental health advice. I am not a psychologist or medical professional. If you are experiencing any emotional distress, mental health challenges, or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified professional.
Speaker 1:
Welcome to the Radiant Life Podcast. I'm your host, rae, the Somatic Coach, and I'm here to support you in healing your past, living in the present and creating your future so that you can become the most centered, embodied and happiest version of yourself. Each week, I'll be bringing you episodes to help you navigate life's challenges, ease stress and tension and learn more about holistic healing, spirituality and wellness. If you're interested in becoming the best version of yourself so that you can live the life of your dreams, then you're in the right place. Subscribe to the podcast and the monthly newsletter and follow me on Instagram and TikTok to know when new episodes are released each week. I am so happy that you've landed here. Let's dive in. Welcome back to the podcast. If you are new here, I'm Rae, I'm a somatic coach and breathwork facilitator, and if you aren't new here, welcome back. I'm so excited that you're tuning in for today's episode.
Speaker 1:
So for today, we're diving into how we can stop allowing other people's opinions to matter and imposter syndrome. So I chose this episode topic because, if you're human which, if you're tuning into the podcast, I'm going to assume that you're human you've experienced some form of judgment, and I think that that's really at the crux of why people care about other people's opinions, and so the tools that I suggest for this feeling, this feeling of judgment, is, you know, inner child healing, somatic healing, and then belief work and mindset work. And for myself personally, this is something I've definitely experienced and it's definitely something that I help my clients with, and it's really a self-empowering way to take actions towards what you really want. So, whether that's, you know, a new job, a new career, new business, new niche, starting something you've never done before, it can be really hard sometimes for other people to see their friends or their family change, and sometimes even if it's for the better. So for today's episode, we're going to be diving into external validation, the inner critic, overcoming imposter syndrome and the fear of being disliked.
Speaker 1:
So external validation is when we're seeking something externally from us for some sort of like confirmation or praise, and what we do when that happens is that we're really giving our power away and we're not allowing ourselves to feel embodied in our own self-worth. So this is definitely important for really stopping having other people's opinions matter or weigh on you in any shape or form. And that fear of judgment. That's something that I've dived into in the past a few episodes episode seven and episode eight. You can definitely check those out, but definitely knowing that if you're like looking for that external validation I've done it before too it definitely won't feel great and this could be for so many different reasons, but I find that really, when you want to get to the root of it, it's inner child healing Inner child, like finding that root cause, finding that deeper need and what that is, and then giving yourself that need. So validating yourself from the inside rather than the outside will help to really build that strong sense of self-worth, and all that external praise and validation will just be an added bonus. So it goes both ways Like if we're allowing someone's opinions to matter to us if they're great and then we're also letting someone's opinion matter to us if it's not so great. And the reality is like if we are playing big in our lives, like if we are doing something in our lives, like we're going to get feedback, we're going to get people that won't like us or go to have opinions about what we're doing, and that's just like kind of the reality of it if you were living a big life, right. So noticing that need for external validation, getting to the root cause of what that might be. It's so human doing that with inner child healing and then checking that fear of judgment. And then one other resource that I'll mention on this topic that I've mentioned in a previous episode too is the book Worthy how to Believe you Are Enough and Transform your Life by Jamie Kern Lima. I'll link it in the show notes again. I'm a little more than halfway through and I'm really like loving it. I might do an episode just on this book in the future, but we'll see. So that could definitely be a really good resource too for the need of external validation.
Speaker 1:
And then we have this idea of the inner critic and how this connects with imposter syndrome. So the inner critic is also something that we've discussed in episode 29 with Bianca. So this is a part of yourself that is your inner voice of shame. It's usually not kind to us, but its purpose is that it's usually scared and trying to keep us safe from what appears to be threatening. So I say appears, because sometimes there actually is not a threat, but our inner critic is very fearful and feels like it needs to protect itself. So it's a form of protection and it's one aspect of imposter syndrome.
Speaker 1:
So this could appear in having a fear of failure, in perfectionism, in comparison, and what's great about naming this part is that it's the inner work, right. So if you're allowing someone else's opinions to impact, you do this inner work and it will completely change the game, because you're no longer seeking anything externally from anyone. You're already meeting those needs inside of you. So if there is that need for external validation or there is something that you are kind of like struggling with perfectionism or comparison or the fear of failure, there is a way that you can get to the root cause of what might be causing that. I would guess I would say like emotional challenge or pain, and you can do that with the inner work. So inner child healing usually is what I like to resort to.
Speaker 1:
And then we have imposter syndrome and how it relates to the inner critic and the fear of being disliked. So imposter syndrome is when you don't necessarily feel confident or competent, regardless of like what you achieve, you think that someone else might be more adequate in it. And then you also feel like you might be like a fraud. Like oh no, like this isn't who I really am. Feel like you might be like a fraud. Like oh no, like this isn't who I really am. So it's definitely really common, when you're overcoming kind of like the fear of being seen or the fear of being disliked, and allowing yourself to be like bright and shiny and in your power and in your worth, that can be confronting for some people. So definitely understand this fear and totally get it.
Speaker 1:
And there's a few different things that we can do that can help with overcoming imposter syndrome. One that I always like to highlight is really defining your own version of success. So people can think whatever they want, but If something's not aligned with you internally of what success looks like to you, then it doesn't really matter. So really having that clarity around like what's important to you, what's your dreams, what are your visions, like what, how would you define success, and knowing that will really help with overcoming imposter syndrome. The second, which we've touched on a little bit so far, is having like a deep sense of self-compassion, so doing the deeper inner work to know why you might be seeking external validation. You know it's human and something many people navigate, but having that awareness of what's at the root of it for you will bring so much clarity and also gives you the opportunity to love that part so much, like giving it at the root. Radical self-compassion will be so empowering for you, and this also enhances your self-awareness and will absolutely decrease how much you rely on other people's need to be accepted or permissioned or liked or anything like that.
Speaker 1:
And then the third aspect of overcoming imposter syndrome and the fear of being disliked is I wanted to share this Instagram quote, like image that I found earlier today, and I think it's really helpful for overcoming imposter syndrome and the fear of being disliked. And it says this awards that do not exist and you're trying to win anyways Most perfect, never said no, rested the least, didn't need help, worked the longest, didn't make any mistakes and lived up to everyone's expectations there's no award at the end of this race. There's nothing for the best people pleaser, there's nothing for being perfect, there's nothing for working the longest and there's nothing for never making mistakes. There's nothing for everyone meeting everyone else's expectations instead of following your own dreams, remember that it's your life to create and do it with intention, and I really loved this quote. I thought it was so nice for like liberating yourself from that internal cage that we can put ourselves in, and this is something that breathwork definitely helps with as well, because we can spend so much time in our minds, and breathwork quiets the mind, it lets the body come online, it lets your intuition come online, it lets that wisdom come online and all of those fears that might be present you're able to just access it from a different place. And the last thing that I'll share about overcoming imposter syndrome and the fear of being disliked I think that we sometimes, of course, are like going through life on autopilot and when we pause to recognize our own accomplishments for ourself, like really recognize what are some of the things, it could be one thing that you could just be so freaking proud of yourself for and I think it was a few weeks ago.
Speaker 1:
I recapped my month of April and I had no idea that all that was happening in the moment, but I paused, I reflected on the month that had passed and I gave myself a moment to celebrate. And I guarantee there is one, two, three things, possibly more, that you could be so freaking proud of yourself for, and that does not require anyone else's praise. Like you get to write your own celebration list, you get to brag about your wins, like really celebrate yourself and lean into that part of yourself. That is proud, like be proud of yourself. So I think I covered a lot in this episode. There's a lot of different topics that were going on and I think it could be a great topic to even dive deeper into in a few different areas, because it just touched on so many different things. So if you think so as well, let me know, send me a DM or an email with maybe some questions that you had or some topics that you wanted me to dive deeper into, and I can definitely do that.
Speaker 1:
So, just to recap, we went into the need for external validation. We talked about the inner critic, imposter syndrome, the fear of judgment, and we also talked about how you can overcome imposter syndrome and the fear of being disliked. We talked about inner child work and breath work. So, as always, thank you so much for tuning in. If you are loving the podcast, I can't believe that we're almost at 50 episodes. If you are loving the podcast, I can't believe that we're almost at 50 episodes.
Speaker 1:
Please leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts or subscribe and leave a rating on Spotify. It definitely helps me and I am so appreciative. So I hope that you enjoyed today's episode. I hope that you have an incredible rest of your week and rest of your day and I will talk to you soon. An incredible rest of your week and rest of your day, and I will talk to you soon. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode. If you were moved or inspired, please share with me by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. It means the world to me and I am so appreciative for your support in helping my podcast grow. If we aren't already connected on social media, head over to Instagram and TikTok and follow me at Ray the Semantic Coach. Make sure you check out the show notes of today's episode for links to freebies, opportunities to work with me and ways we can stay connected outside of the podcast. I'm so happy that you're here and I can't wait to talk with you on our next episode of the Radiant Life Podcast.
