Settle in for part two of Mel's resilience, survival and rebirth, This episode peels back the layers of her tumultuous life, shedding light on the painful reality of domestic abuse, financial deceit, and the challenge of single parenthood.
Still standing strong, Mel shares the birth of her company, born in the aftermath of her divorce. Mel walked away from all she once had, marking not just a survival story, but a tale of rebirth and personal growth. To navigating single motherhood, financial battles and making hard decisions about future, this episode concludes with an essential conversation on recognizing abusive relationships, seeking help, and leveraging available resources. Tune in to experience the strength of human spirit that Mel's story embodies, and learn from her inspiring journey of survival and growth.
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Send us your comments or questions and we will answer them on the show!
email - lastpieceofpiepodcast@gmail.com
Settle in for part two of Mel's resilience, survival and rebirth, This episode peels back the layers of her tumultuous life, shedding light on the painful reality of domestic abuse, financial deceit, and the challenge of single parenthood.
Still standing strong, Mel shares the birth of her company, born in the aftermath of her divorce. Mel walked away from all she once had, marking not just a survival story, but a tale of rebirth and personal growth. To navigating single motherhood, financial battles and making hard decisions about future, this episode concludes with an essential conversation on recognizing abusive relationships, seeking help, and leveraging available resources. Tune in to experience the strength of human spirit that Mel's story embodies, and learn from her inspiring journey of survival and growth.
Social Media: LPoP
https://www.instagram.com/lastpieceofpiepodcast/
https://www.threads.net/@lastpieceofpiepodcast
https://www.tiktok.com/@last.piece.of.pie?_t=8j0uDxkYoVm&_r=1
Send us your comments or questions and we will answer them on the show!
email - lastpieceofpiepodcast@gmail.com
This episode contains a personal story of domestic abuse. The content may be distressing and triggering for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised. The purpose of sharing the stories to shed light on the experiences of survivors and to encourage empathy and understanding. We also want to emphasize that this episode is intended to raise awareness, provide support and inspire change. Remember that you are not alone and there is help available. If you or someone you know is currently experiencing domestic abuse, please seek help from a qualified professional or a local support organization. The National Domestic Violence Hotline Number is 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-799-SAFE. Welcome El Papers. This is the last piece of pie. I'm Jen, I'm Mel and we are back for part two of Mel's story. So we left off where you gave them two weeks to tell you the truth, and he did it Right. So then you filed for divorce the following week. Okay, so let's talk about what happened after you filed. Did he leave? Did you have to leave the house? Did he kick you out? What happened?
Speaker 2:No, I left. He was just started to make my life a living hell. Okay, there's some things that happened that I want to share in the podcast that I'll tell you later. But yeah, he was losing his mind.
Speaker 1:Was he threatening you?
Speaker 2:Threatening me that I was having an affair. Threatening me that I was like kissing people, telling my kids I was cheating. Telling my kids I was kissing people Using me of having come in my underwear yeah, going through my dirty clothes like weirdo. And I was like, no, but okay, keep losing your mind. And then, like one time in this kitchen, like he was screaming at me that I had a Jezebel spirit on me. I'm like no, I'm just sick of your bullshit and the fact that you're never here. I mean, he missed holidays, he missed first days of school Doing what he was in India.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, you know I missed the bear hunt. My son was livid that he missed the bear hunt. He was acting up. It was so bad Like I thought my dad was going to have to beat him, like he was just so angry and so mouthy.
Speaker 1:So how old were your kids when you got divorced?
Speaker 2:13 and 15. Ok, yeah, I was 13. But it was hard on him. Because it was hard on my son, because he'd never seen his dad and didn't have much of a relationship with him, and then because I forgot to tell you this part, but he had to have his own apartment in Flint because it was too far to drive.
Speaker 1:Home. Yeah To Fenton, yeah Linden, which is people? It's 30 minutes, 20 at the most. Yeah, and traffic, 30 minutes, traffic of 10 cars, ok, so he had a separate apartment which, by the way, I had to furnish.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he was like I want you to go to our van and buy all the furniture and have it delivered. So I went through with it all and I did all of it. And I did get the last laugh because I put a pillow on the bed that said enjoy the small things.
Speaker 1:Wow, that was very passive, aggressive of you.
Speaker 2:That was my first sneaky aha moment. I was like so proud but I wasn't proud enough to leave or stand up for myself, but I was like I'm going to put that on there. I hope every girl reads it.
Speaker 1:So I have always found, when somebody accuses you of cheating, they're the ones doing the cheating.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like every time. Yeah, there was a lot of rumors that he had prostitutes there and yeah, it was bad. Ok, yeah, I wasn't allowed there. I never stayed there. No one was allowed to have a key except him, not even his business partner. So I was the first one to file that. A few years, not even one year later, another wife filed and then the last wife filed a year after that. What do you mean? What do you mean? Another wife Out of the company and there was like three owners.
Speaker 1:Oh, so all the wife's left the other partners in his business wives, also filed. Yeah, and they got divorced I was the first one heard out.
Speaker 2:There was a lot of shady stuff a lot of shady stuff.
Speaker 1:Well, sounds like it If you could never see a financial statement. And then he had a secret apartment. Well, it wasn't really secret, but a secret bachelor pad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he spent like a lot of money at drug stores and liquor stores, which is so fascinating to me. So when I filed for a divorce I had to get 17 subpoenas, 17,. I started with one and then what happens is that would show you where you need to get another one and another one and 17. Later I was to find out what a 16-year marriage looked like.
Speaker 1:So 17 subpoenas for your financial.
Speaker 2:Oh, everything, everything. He's spending like $300 a month at Rite Aid.
Speaker 1:What the fuck was he buying at Rite Aid for $300?
Speaker 2:Cold medicine.
Speaker 1:Oh shit, yeah, he went through, so you got detailed receipts of what he was buying Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Wow, he would go through. I don't know if it's still like this because I don't have to buy it anymore, thank God, but he would go through his. To get Allegra D you'd have to use your license and you could only buy 30 a month. He would go through his and then have me go and buy 30 more on my license. So I don't know what he was doing. I didn't ask. There are some rumors of like meth labs and I guess his cousin had a meth lab and friends are getting busted now of being on meth and he definitely had an eye twitch which I Well, he was definitely an addict, he, I had an eye twitch that I never noticed and I and it was fascinating to me because my parents were like, didn't the eye twitch drive you nuts?
Speaker 2:And I was like, what eye twitch? I must have stopped looking at him. Like over the years I must have became so afraid of him I quit looking. Isn't that weird? Yeah. Because, I'm like he has an eye twitch and I didn't see it until after I got away and then, like we'd see each other at like a cross country meet for the kids or something, and he'd be standing there and I'd see him do it and I was like oh my god, the eye twitch.
Speaker 1:Do you think a part of your brain, just from the trauma, has blocked a lot of stuff out?
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely yeah. And as the years go by, like God still gives me closure, like he'll bring someone into my life. That will be like my so-and-so friend just got divorced and her husband was spending all this money on iTunes. Well, so was he, and I could never figure out why. But she did the investigation and figured out why and it was porn. Yeah, I had no idea. I mean, he spent $500 a month on iTunes For porn and I was like what kind of music is he buying?
Speaker 1:Well, you can also buy movies on iTunes too, but damn, that's like literally, that's like 10,000 songs.
Speaker 2:I mean, I was like, so naive Like, and then looking like and that's what I love about God is like he just he keeps bringing closure, so that's fine.
Speaker 1:So, ok, you have the courage to file for a divorce. You have no skills except for being a mom. You had to do 17 subpoenas, so tell me about. You got a lawyer and you're one of the best lawyers and. I had no money.
Speaker 2:I had no money, I walked in with. I already did as much research as I could and I walked in with like probably five three-inch ring binders and I rolled those out girl on her desk and I went I said this is what I can find so far.
Speaker 1:How did you find that stuff if you couldn't? Even I'm not telling you OK.
Speaker 2:And so she said do you need a job? And I said, yeah, I do. And she said, well, I need a second chair secretary. And I became a paralegal the next day.
Speaker 1:So I just want to tell people out there, because I think that's one maybe one of the biggest things that people have fear about leaving too right is how I'm going to afford a lawyer, and there's so many ways that you can do that. And you know you, being a single mom with no money, no job, you didn't give you any money. That lawyer's new and helped you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would make payments and after I made payments and she was such a blessing. And so I love that when we're still friends, we still have each other's cell phone numbers. Awesome, she's the one that called me about Mr Sypes that just passed away asking me to clean for them. That was her favor. She called and said would you do me a favor and take on this client? And that's how I met Michelle.
Speaker 1:That's my probably number one advice to people when they're getting into wars Get a lawyer, or at least go talk to a lawyer. You can do a 30 minute free consultation and once you talk to that lawyer, your ex cannot talk to that lawyer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that is my number one advice. And it's not even after you talk to them if you just make the appointment, so like in your county you should make an appointment with the best five lawyers ASAP, and now he can't use them. Once you retain one, I believe he can go back and use who you didn't.
Speaker 1:Right, but when he's searching he can't search for those five.
Speaker 2:He can't make an appointment with them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and just be upfront about your financial situation. A lot of them will work with you and if it's more mutual, you can use a mediator. Don't do it alone. Don't go it alone. It is not worth the headaches if you're trying to go alone, especially if you're in an use of relationship 100% protect yourself through your lawyer.
Speaker 2:Now he was still so awful. Through mine, I ended up walking away from everything, so I didn't really win anything. I walked.
Speaker 1:So what do you mean by awful? Did he have a lawyer? Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:And we had a mediator, and he is, I mean, we have. So he had a group of friends that he grew up with, right, and then they end up working for him. Well, now it's all said and done. They're not friends with him anymore. They're friends with me.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And one of them just I mean just despises him and they're like he is the best at what he does. They're like we've never seen anyone so manipulating their life, like he's the biggest karma conner.
Speaker 1:So I've ever seen. So do you think he manipulated? Well, obviously his lawyer was going to look out for him, but then if you guys had a mediator, somehow he's manipulating that situation where a mediator is supposed to be a very neutral.
Speaker 2:And she was not, because he was so good at what he did and I and I had to pay every time, and he knew that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So eventually I was just going to be sick of paying and he kept dragging it out and dragging it out and asking for more and more appointments, like he knows what he does.
Speaker 1:He's not stupid, yeah.
Speaker 2:He's like one of probably the smartest men like I've ever known. He just uses his brains for the wrong things and, yeah, so I end up walking, walking away. He even convinced the lawyer, the mediator, that he did not take my whole life insurance, that it was a loan that he paid back, and he probably, like knowing him, he probably fumbled, like messed up the paperwork. You know what I mean. What do I want to say? Like edited, forged, yes, forged the paperwork and convinced her and I that he didn't do it. And then it wasn't until a year later I got the tax bill for it.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:And I had to close the account because he did take the money and I had to pay the taxes on it. That was my one year anniversary to myself, so yeah, so I paid the taxes on it and I closed it off and luckily I had two policies at the time. So I still have a one good policy and but he, anything I had he was taking. So one of the things that disgusted me, as I was supposed to come back here and we were going to divide half of what's in this house, so there was like big things we had in the divorce, like he wanted the TV, he wanted the couch, he wanted the bed, like he knew what big items had taken. I was like, fine, whatever. But when I came back that day we were supposed to divide like art, the kitchen, the bathrooms, bedding, like all that stuff. So when I came back to do that, the house was empty.
Speaker 1:Completely empty, completely empty. He had somebody come clean you out while you were.
Speaker 2:Him and his family didn't.
Speaker 1:His family that was suing him helped him. Yep, oh yeah, they were back instantly. What the f? His family just fucked up then Wow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was sad. So what hurt my heart is he allowed his daughter to come back to that. She was 13.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:When we literally walked in Jen, this place was empty and I panicked. So I called my brother and my brother's. Like I got nothing. He's like I've got my college mattress.
Speaker 1:So they were 15 and 13 when you got divorced. How long did your divorce take?
Speaker 2:I gave up, so I had the judge, I had the judge sign off, so I only lasted like four months.
Speaker 1:Okay, then did you have to go through a custody situation too?
Speaker 2:No, we did 50, 50. And he, ricky, quick coming, ricky wouldn't come.
Speaker 1:So once you were 50 50, your son didn't want to come home for your time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, in the beginning I made him and it just became a nightmare. He ran away to call the cops. He stole my car to call the cops, like it was just, and I realized if I kept forcing this, this child's going to rebel even worse. Yeah, and at one point, like my brother had him in his bedroom. He's like why are you doing this? As your mom, she raised you, you know better. She's never changed. Like you know the truth. And I was Ricky's coach, cross country coach, for four years. Oh, middle school, middle school, yeah, okay. So it was like he knew who I was. The only thing I could say is that one, my ex is good at what he does. Ricky was his next victim and Ricky never had a dad and for the first time in that boy's life, his dad needed him. So his dad decided to be a dad and that was his way of manipulating him.
Speaker 2:Oh, they went fishing every weekend.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, so doing 50, 50,. You had nothing in this house, so what did you do? I started cleaning company.
Speaker 2:Okay, and I formed an LLC and I named it Mel and Co, which was Mel, and then n slash Co, which means after comes company. So I knew it was going to start with me and I knew if I just started with one house, it could turn into two, and it turned into three, and then it would turn into commercial cleaning and it turned into a company. And now here I am with a lot of clients and two employees.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so when you started out and was okay. So you're trying to think of like a skill right that you can do in cleaning, which you've done, your entire marriage Because that was my way of escaping so I couldn't fix what was wrong in my life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and what I did was clean and it was a way for me to have that outlet. So I mean, I cleaned my baseboards with toothbrushes so anyone that came over it'd be like, seriously, this house is so damn clean, like it's ridiculous. And I'm like, oh, I know, I just love to clean. And now, girl, those dishes have been there for three days, these floors are trash.
Speaker 1:I don't even clean anymore. She does an excellent cleaning job, people, because she cleans my house and it's very well done, thank you. I even leave the dishes that she doesn't for me.
Speaker 2:Don't tell anyone I don't do that for everyone. I'm gonna shoot, sorry.
Speaker 1:I edit that part out, just for you.
Speaker 2:Friends do clean up. I told you, I've been cleaning up your shit for a while now. Yeah.
Speaker 1:You made I think you said this before you made what? $18,000 for a year, the first year, yeah.
Speaker 2:It was rough but we didn't feel rough. That's what I love about it. And I remember my friend that I told you about Julie, her husband. I remember him telling me you are going to feel so rich because he never let you have anything Right. And I remember feeling so rich that first year, like it was just I could buy things, I could make payments, I had an 850 credit score, I had nothing in my name, right that's true.
Speaker 2:I was like this is freaking amazing and so I bought the Jeep and I bought a pop-up and Am and I became campers and we throw up this little pop-up and have a little campfires and games and it was a great year. So, looking back, she'll never look back thinking, oh my god, we are so poor. She's going to be like. My mom was a badass and made me camp and I hated it.
Speaker 1:Well, to me that would be a big fear, if I was in your shoes about how am I going to get a job, how am I going to make money? I'm a single mom now. We have an empty house. I have to figure out how to take care of my babies, and it's possible.
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely yeah, and I did government health care. I did food stamps for a while and then, once I got back on my feet, then I was making great money. I put her into a private Catholic school and I remember getting a letter saying that my child can receive food stamps. And I was like huh, it's been like three years since we've done that. Like why would she need food stamps? And doesn't the state of Michigan know she goes to a private school? Like what's wrong? How is the system this broke?
Speaker 2:I was so mad so I called and I'm like, hey, I really appreciate this. Luckily I don't want to live off the government and I built a career and I don't need your money anywhere. So I appreciate you looking out for her, but it's kind of weird that your system doesn't know she's in a private school. And so the lady starts doing some investigation but she won't tell me and she can't tell me. And she's like, and I'm starting to get mad and I was like I don't understand what's happening. She's like ma'am, if you're not claiming her, somebody else is. And I'm like isn't that fraud? Like who can claim her? Like she's one. She's in my head. I'm thinking she's my kid.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And then I'm thinking she's my dependent, like what is going on? And the lady gets so frustrated with me and she's like I want you to think about this. If it's not you, it can only be the other parent. And I was like and she goes would you like me to report you to the fraud department?
Speaker 2:And I said no, and she goes no, and I said no and I said thank you for setting me straight. And what truth is? He can continue to scam. I want nothing to do with this. And I hung up the phone and he still takes her food stamps. I would have reported his ass.
Speaker 1:See, that's cold hearted me. I would have cared, I would have reported him. Yeah, he didn't care, or I'll report him anonymously, for you Can't go for it.
Speaker 2:Girl, get after it Because, being in an abusive relationship for so long, he stole so much of me. Once I left, I was not going to allow that man to steal one more minute.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I was adamant about it. I'd never reported anything. I was done. He didn't pay child support. He could have went to jail multiple times. At one point he was like 20 grand behind.
Speaker 1:This is why our fucking system is broken.
Speaker 2:Sucks.
Speaker 1:And here we are banning abortions. But yet us women like you can't even get your child support paid, and is up to you to sue him for it. It doesn't automatically happen.
Speaker 2:Well, not even that. You don't even have to do that anymore. Criminals know and he knows the system, so he knew if he put it in five bucks, you don't go to jail.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's bullshit.
Speaker 2:He'd send in a dollar and not go to jail.
Speaker 1:I mean he's still behind 15 grand. I don't know what. It is now $19,999. I mean you're making shit up?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1:I don't know what it is that is so fucked up, I quit looking.
Speaker 2:That is so fucked up. So, whatever he's doing now, I don't know what kind of state money he's on, but the state's taking some money and sending it to me. So I don't know if he's on disability or what, because remember oh yeah, fun fact he's been claiming that he's been dying for five years.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so, because that's what he did, he's an addict.
Speaker 1:Oh, if he did anything to get dying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he would get drugs to. He would sign up for surgeries to get drugs. He had every joint cleaned out when we were married, yeah. So the only reason why I know that is because his girlfriend now ex-girlfriend and I are friends and she was nasty to me Not nasty, but she was cold and I would go drop off Abby. This is when Abby still saw our dad and she would just kind of give me dirty looks and stuff and I remember God being like be nice to her, she will end up on your porch.
Speaker 1:Right, because he's manipulating her, that you're a bad person.
Speaker 2:Oh, the things that this man told her about me. We sat many nights having wine, dying, laughing. I was like I kind of like this version of me, like.
Speaker 1:I'm a badass. Well, I love that she came to you after when she got out.
Speaker 2:Well, she first came this time he was manipulating this so abby left, abby quit going. Okay on, abby had a hard time she. I would make her go every weekend. She ball and I was like you have to go, you have to go.
Speaker 2:Well then, he got a girlfriend and we were so happy because now there was groceries in the house and this girlfriend was taking her and getting her nails done and they were shopping together. We're so happy. And then he started to lose his mind. And abby started to grow up now she's like fifteen and she's starting to figure it out right and he lost his mind one time, grounded her for no reason. She sat in her room the whole weekend by herself and then he lost his mind again after a dance recital, and the text that he sent her was very manipulating and it was the first time where she was all enough to see it. Yeah, and she came up to me. I will never forget. She came up and she's like these two, meaning my son and his dad, have done this to forever. They're not gonna do it to me and she goes I'm done, I did this for two years for you because it was court order. Yeah, she said I'm not going back. Good for her, and I was like okay, and then.
Speaker 2:So what happened then? Now he gets supposedly really sick and so it's probably like a year later he's now dying. And so she shows up on my porch, leaves her phone number, which at the time, oh jeez, so I had to go by brand new phones and brand new computers and I did the I clouds and emails at the horizon because he was that good at what he did and I was already like another two, three grand in. Yeah, I'm like I'm done. Like no one gets my number, I'm done. So she leaves her number and I call my mom. I was like do I call him? No, I'm not giving her my number, like you call. So my mom called and she was like she's calling on behalf of your ex husband. He's dying at the hospital and he's requesting to see abby. I was like, okay, so this is what I did. I was like, okay, that's fine, so I have abby call.
Speaker 2:She's almost sixteen now. I have her call the hospital and she talks to the nurse. Yeah, and he was like she couldn't come because she was underage and she was asking the nurse like can will you walk me in? Blah, blah, blah. She was asking the details of it and Somehow we get information that. Oh, no, my dad ends up coming over to you know, my dad was up by. Dad ends up stopping by and he's catching wind of what's going on in my dad's upset. My dad loves him. Oh, yeah, you know my dad. Yeah, it's either he's gonna kill you, he's gonna love you. There is no in between. So he's still like visiting him they're bringing him christmas gifts and like trying to help him your ex husband, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, your dad has a big heart.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, his heart so he goes up there. He's like, if he's dying, I gotta go. And I'm like, and I'm fuming right, I'm like really no fuck you, dad, you're not going yeah, I was like that's the sorry, sorry, sorry, papa. So he goes and he's like he comes back. He's like melia's kind of rough shape, like you might want to send her, and I was like I just knew, I was like I don't believe it. And here we are, three years later. He's still alive. She got or no?
Speaker 2:no, she won't go, she didn't go and when my dad came back he was just like it's bad, but I don't know how bad, like I feel like he fell and split open his head. Well, I'm sure who knows what he was telling everyone. I promise you is either drunk or high oh, I had a seizure, or whatever, yeah, still live though. Yeah, and he bounced hospital, hospitals he's. He would claim that every call.
Speaker 2:He's called a frequent flyer, yeah the column, he claimed that the hospitals would screw up and he go to the next one. Then he would claim that an arbor wouldn't give him a transplant. Well, they do give you transplants if you're clean. Yeah, for sober and clean yeah, they do.
Speaker 1:okay, so hired a lawyer, did your own research, she hired you, you work for your and got your own company. You and abby are living well.
Speaker 2:Well you're doing amazing you know me, I'm always hard on myself, so I was trying to do better and set higher goals, and probably never content with Goals, but just who I am, so still trying to achieve the next level so what's some one thing you wish you would have done differently in divorce?
Speaker 2:One thing I wish I would have done differently, did it sooner that's what my heart says is I wish I would have did it sooner. Maybe I would have saved my son. It saved abby. Everyone says that thank god I got one. I did because it saved abby yeah. She was a mute. That kid didn't talk. I remember the first guy, raccoon boy, that I did. I love all that makes you laugh so hard.
Speaker 2:So we're at dinner and he he was a he was a police officer, so he was good at what he did. So raccoon boy and I were dating and he was a police officer and he was good at what he did. So At the time I ex husband kept coming back and stealing my stuff on my house how did he do not change your locks?
Speaker 1:oh sure, that girl. How did he get back in? Ricky was still here he come on my time, and then he would say she stole this from me, my suitcases downstairs and I gotta get it back blah, blah, blah okay and ricky was taken Stuff of the house and give it to his dad.
Speaker 2:okay, and so raccoon boy helped me Do that. Like at one point he had every county here at the end of the driveway To make it my ex has been scared of like just send a message, like knock it off. Yeah, and I'm not kidding, every county, nice, there was like seven cop cars here at the end of the driveway good job, raccoon boy.
Speaker 1:You're good for something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was great with ab. Like he really helped her. She had a hard time going and he knew how to talk to her on that police officer level. I can't remember I was telling you this. Oh, and when ricky was still coming here, he sold my car and he knew the sheriff on duty and I, you know, called knows like he took off car and that guy came and talk to him in his bedroom and like everyone was just trying to save him. Yeah, um, a lot of people judge me on like not taking him back to court and trying to save Ricky Right. Um, I don't know if it would have and I was always scared if I was to push it too hard he would rebel worse.
Speaker 1:And maybe try to go for Abby like go for the whole shebang.
Speaker 2:No, I knew he couldn't get to Ab because Ab was she was always smart.
Speaker 1:Yeah, really young.
Speaker 2:She was always very very smart.
Speaker 1:Well, like legally tried to maybe do soul custody or something. Oh, who knows?
Speaker 2:Yeah, he was just but, um, I was worried that Ricky would rebel more if I pushed it. Oh, okay, and I didn't want to lose him completely.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so I had to surrender my motherhood, hoping that he would hold on to something that was still stable enough in his life that he wouldn't lose it and he'd come back. Yeah, he hasn't. How old is he?
Speaker 1:now 20. 20. You never know.
Speaker 2:Everyone claims he will, but I'm like it may take him more time.
Speaker 1:I mean 20 year old men. I feel like they're still influenced. You know he's been under his dad for that long. It may take him time to get away to know.
Speaker 2:And it yeah, look at it took me, and I was a grown up. It took me 16 years, yeah, To figure it out.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It took me to go on a bear hunt and getting it away. Well, my hope is is that he will and that he always knows his mama loves him, his sister loves him, and these doors are always open and there needs to be no discussions, there just needs to be come home.
Speaker 1:That's it, yeah, and him and Abby have not talked either.
Speaker 2:Nope, nope, she hasn't, and she hasn't seen her dad. It's been like three years, yeah. So, yeah, he's so weird and like he'll send Christmas cards that are just so weird and she's like mom, that's so weird. I'm like I'm sorry, but I save them. I've saved everyone because I'm like maybe one day she'll want to look back and like want them and I know she's not going to want to.
Speaker 1:She's going to want to burn them someday. Yeah, have a burn party.
Speaker 2:His thing is. He writes on there dear baby girl, she's like. You're so creepy. Who says that? He's like I'm 18. And he never called her baby girl. But I know it's creepy, she hates it.
Speaker 1:Dear, captain, obvious yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's freaking weird. I wanted to tell you too that he went through this phase of he started another company and he was bringing home like stupid expensive cars and I mean like rain drovers BMWs, mercedes and these are the kind of cars we drove. And I hated it because he would bring me home like a Range Rover and then a month or so later would just sell it and it'd just be gone. So he says he sold it but it would just disappear. So eventually I did it for a few years and then finally I had enough. And that is when I went and I leased a car for the first time and I was like I'm done, my kids need a consistent car. Yeah, I can't remember what kind of car I got probably a Minivan or some crap but I was just like I need a car, I don't need a BMW.
Speaker 1:Right Status. He was trying to show some status around for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, All smoke and mirrors girl.
Speaker 1:And been divorced now for five years. Wow, that's quite the story. Mel, I'm so proud of you. Still Thank you. You're amazing. Your daughter is amazing. I think what you guys have been through and what you've come out on the other side is amazing.
Speaker 2:Thank you, thank you, thank you. I appreciate that. I love, your love. I think at the end of the day I would say it's okay to start with nothing. I only had my brother's mattress for the first year and the first thing I bought was this couch and I did payments on it and I had a rule that I would not buy anything else until the first thing was paid off. So I went and bought a couch so Abby had something to sit on. It was a $4,000 couch.
Speaker 1:Dang girl, you went big time.
Speaker 2:The funny thing is is I didn't know prices, oh shit.
Speaker 1:Because you never bought any.
Speaker 2:I never bought anything, so we're groceries yeah. So I was like I have to buy a couch. It was gray and fluffy and I was like I'll take that one. I went to the sign and got the bill and I was like, oh, couches are expensive.
Speaker 1:I love how seer so naive, but I mean, I think people need to remember that it might you might feel shame, you might feel embarrassed, but use your resources. You use the food stamps you use the government health. Like you got to just remember it's temporary. That situation will be temporary if you're motivated to get out of it. Absolutely yeah, and there's people that are willing to help. Don't be afraid to ask.
Speaker 2:Churches. I mean, I don't think I went that route, but I know churches will help you yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean food banks, churches. Just remember, it's a temporary solution. It's a temporary, you will get out of it.
Speaker 2:And here's the thing is you deserve the help.
Speaker 2:Yes, I'm sorry but you deserve the help. I deserved the help. I was in a desperate situation and I needed help, yeah, and I figured it out. I figured out how to apply online and I just learned and off I went and then I was creating LLCs and filing and starting business and just out there saying anyone, I would do anything. I mean I was paying, I was cleaning, I was organizing, I was picking up dog poop. I had no shame girl. I was like I will show up for $5 and I kept telling myself five bucks will multiply. Get your ass there. Am I dead? I hustled, I worked seven days a week, for the most part for the last five years, and you know that I still have, yeah, I mean my hip's broken and I'm more like a beat down truck, but I still love you.
Speaker 2:What you tell me last time mail your check engine lights on. You might want to go to the doctor. Yes, yes, I'm like I'm gonna need a cane by 43, but I've got one more year and that's the thing that. So the joke is, al Poppers is well, it's not a joke, but I did. I tore my labrium and my left hip and it's a three month recovery. It's a big surgery and I'm not doing it and I'm living with the pain. I pretty much come home every day and sleep for a couple of hours I call it my nap before a second shift, and I'm. It allows me not to take any pills, not even a leave or Motrin. It allows me to rest. I ice and I get up and I do life again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so, Al Poppers, if there's a hot ortho surgeon who's willing to help my girl out and we'll give you a shout out on the show hit us up.
Speaker 2:Right? No, I don't have time to be hot.
Speaker 1:You just had to be generous and be like I'll help you out.
Speaker 2:No, I don't have time for the recovery. It's a three month recovery. So this is the thing is I am not giving up my three months. It's like I am that adamant. I have promised myself, as a single mom, I was going to ride this out until this girl got to college. Okay, and that is why I'm so determined. I am not missing a week. I'm not missing a month. I'm not forgoing our lifestyle Like I will continue to grind until next year, and then the check engine light will be blinking.
Speaker 1:Girl, it'll be almost on E by that time. You'll have to wheel me in. You're like one mile left.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you'll have to wheel me in and. But you know what? She's got a 3.6. She just got into her first college, she applied to six and she's in private school and killing it and it is. You know, it's going to be a hard year with the hip issue, but it's going to be such a good year to high five myself and say I did it. Yeah, I did it. I did it as a single mom since she was 13 and we killed it. And not only did we do it, but we did it well, you did Thanks.
Speaker 1:She's a great kid, she is you did a good job, thank you.
Speaker 2:She knows I kill her if it wasn't.
Speaker 1:Well, el Papers, this is Mel's been Mel's story, so you get to know a little bit of our host. So just remember you're not alone, there's help out there and we love you, Amen.
Speaker 2:And you know that you can reach out. We keep everything private. I mean we don't say names on here If you reach out. We don't say names on here because it's our personal lives, but if you reach out to us, we're not going to talk about it on the air. You can email us at last piece of pie podcast at gmailcom. But you can also mail. You can mail us. You can send mail to us at 244, or it's PO Box 244, Lydda, Michigan, 484-51. And write us letters. I'll write you back. Jen will write you back If you have questions, if you're in a situation and you just need somebody to talk, to reach out to us.
Speaker 1:We'll help you find the resource that you need. Oh girl, I can research, I am a detective.
Speaker 2:Like I can find out where he's cheating, I can find out where your checkbook is.
Speaker 1:That'll be our third business private investigator. My older sister does that. She can help us out. I love it.
Speaker 2:So, whether you're a male or female, and you're an abusive, emotionally, physically, reach out, don't sit, don't stay, and we got your back. We'll figure it out together. Yeah, be safe. Yes, love you all. Thanks for listening, peace out.