Have you ever felt like life's constant hustle has you skimming over the value of your own story? Mel and Jenn decided to have an intimate farewell to the year. They are encouraged by the possibilities ahead. They get real about the highs and lows we've all waded through—those self-worth battles, the dating scene's dizzying carousel, and the workplace tests that have shaped our mental and emotional well being. As we recount tales of pausing our dating lives for the sake of sanity and the triumphant reclaiming of our personal core values, you might just see your own reflections in the triumphs and trials we share.
Amidst the narrative, there's a lesson-laden pause—a halftime, if you will—where we reassess, re-strategize, and revel the small wins that form the stepping stones to our ultimate goals. It's not just about setting the course right; it's about the journey to realign, redirect, and recommit to what truly matters in our hearts.
Social Media: LPoP
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https://www.threads.net/@lastpieceofpiepodcast
https://www.tiktok.com/@last.piece.of.pie?_t=8j0uDxkYoVm&_r=1
Send us your comments or questions and we will answer them on the show!
email - lastpieceofpiepodcast@gmail.com
Have you ever felt like life's constant hustle has you skimming over the value of your own story? Mel and Jenn decided to have an intimate farewell to the year. They are encouraged by the possibilities ahead. They get real about the highs and lows we've all waded through—those self-worth battles, the dating scene's dizzying carousel, and the workplace tests that have shaped our mental and emotional well being. As we recount tales of pausing our dating lives for the sake of sanity and the triumphant reclaiming of our personal core values, you might just see your own reflections in the triumphs and trials we share.
Amidst the narrative, there's a lesson-laden pause—a halftime, if you will—where we reassess, re-strategize, and revel the small wins that form the stepping stones to our ultimate goals. It's not just about setting the course right; it's about the journey to realign, redirect, and recommit to what truly matters in our hearts.
Social Media: LPoP
https://www.instagram.com/lastpieceofpiepodcast/
https://www.threads.net/@lastpieceofpiepodcast
https://www.tiktok.com/@last.piece.of.pie?_t=8j0uDxkYoVm&_r=1
Send us your comments or questions and we will answer them on the show!
email - lastpieceofpiepodcast@gmail.com
Be quiet. Review your year, think about the good, think about the bad and honestly ask yourself the tough questions such as what was your biggest regret?
Speaker 2:I don't really have regrets, because I just think that's a wasted emotion, because everything is a choice. I made choices and they weren't always great.
Speaker 1:Okay. So what did you ask me then? How do you word it? What was your biggest lesson? What was your biggest lesson? Yeah, okay, so we're going to get rid of the regret word and we're going to use the word lesson. Then Welcome out poppers.
Speaker 2:This is the last piece of pie. I'm Jen, I'm Mel, and today, happy new year. Woo-hoo, 2024, baby, yeah, we're going to do a little year in review. Yes, 2023. We're going to say goodbye, yes, thank, goodbye, peace out. You're all done, done with this year.
Speaker 1:I understand Some people have had a good year, some people have had a bad year, some people have been like, okay, you're so let's dive into what Jen's year looked like. You want to start from the?
Speaker 2:beginning. Oh sure, my 2023 was not great, starting in January. So I think I mentioned this before. I struggled in the beginning of 2023 with my own self-worth. I had a lot of negative thoughts. I had a lot of bad dates, a lot of bad men, a lot of just turmoil, negativity, just down on myself, depressed. And then by March I was like this has got to change. You got to do something about it. So what'd you do about it?
Speaker 2:So the first thing I did was I told people out loud how I was feeling, which is kind of the first step because I was hiding. I was kind of hiding a lot of it. So I told friends. And then the first thing I did was physically went back to working out, because that was a huge thing for me, because I kind of got away from it and I just feel better when I work out. So I didn't start like all crazy heavy, going back to gym, crazy. I just started slow, I got back on the Peloton, I got back into the gym and then I needed the mental part to go with the physical part.
Speaker 2:So I started looking for my life coach and then did it. I found a trainer. Well, actually, I found the trainer first because I needed help working out. I'm not very good at working out on my own. I need somebody to tell me what to do. I'd be like this is what you do, Jen. Okay, that's fair.
Speaker 2:So I found my trainer wonderful group of ladies that were in this group we all had the same trainer. He has his own site where we all share our struggles and just amazing, amazing support system as far as physical fitness and eating right. And then I hired him on as my life coach and did a whole six month journey of going into why I felt so crappy about myself and then just coming out amazing afterwards. And then I got off the dating for a while and then at the end of this year is kind of when we started to do this podcast and change my mindset about dating. Just change my mindset, my whole energy just going through the life coaching and just focusing and setting my values and just refocusing back on myself and then just having an amazing last half of the year from September to now.
Speaker 1:Perfect. So today the dating kind of got to you. It was like a series of really bad dates that put you on a downward spiral. So I think what's key, alpapers, is that when, if you're in that mode, stop, just take a pause it's okay to pause on dating.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, for sure, especially when you just have this negative mindset all the time and then you start having this negative mindset about yourself all the time because of it, and then it didn't help that I was having turmoil at work like just making me feel even worse about myself.
Speaker 1:Okay, so there's the warning sign, then, for us L-poppers is that when you start to think and talk to yourself in a negative light because the dating is getting to you mentally, it's time to take a break.
Speaker 2:Take a break, go back and do things that you love just doing on your own.
Speaker 1:Find your own solitude, which I think we talked about in the past, yeah.
Speaker 2:And just living in your solitude and finding yourself and what makes you happy and just revisiting what are your core values and making every decision and every thought related to your core values. So if it doesn't line up with my core values, I don't do it.
Speaker 1:That's beautiful Because, remember, I had a few bad dates and I kept dating that person and you're like, is he lining up with your values? And I'm like, oh god, no, so they weren't. Yeah, values are important.
Speaker 2:Extremely important because I think it helps you. It helps drive your decision so much and just the energy around it. When you know your values and the energy that comes and all the amazing things that happen when you change the patterns in your mind about how you think about yourself and what you want to accomplish, so many things, wonderful things happen and you can become a different person. Yeah, you just attract so much more positive energy into your life.
Speaker 1:Beautiful.
Speaker 2:That's how I'm ending 2024. That's beautiful.
Speaker 1:No 2023.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, 2023. Going into 2024.
Speaker 1:Like I said in the last episode, she's no mathematician.
Speaker 2:Is that high IQ people? I only have so much room for certain subjects.
Speaker 1:Well, I think another thing that you said that is very important is that when in life if you're trying to balance bad and business, work, career and dating, it's really hard on your soul to balance all of that, especially if they're both coming at you bad. You can't do it Like if your work is not in the right place. Then what's important is to cut off dating, to cut off toxic people in your life, to cut off busyness.
Speaker 2:Start setting new boundaries and fix one thing at a time, yeah, I started to have like a scarcity mindset where I was thinking about all the things that I didn't have and that I believe that there just wasn't enough, where now I'm more of an abundance mindset, where there's plenty of resources and positive things for everyone and I focus on the things that I do have and that I'm grateful for, instead of focusing on the things I don't have.
Speaker 1:Right, that's beautiful. Stay positive. Yeah, focus on the positive.
Speaker 2:Don't have a scarcity mindset that just puts you in a negative Frame all the time. Switch that to an abundance. There's plenty of resources to go around.
Speaker 1:Amen and free. Yeah, you can reach out to us, dms.
Speaker 2:Email us.
Speaker 1:We'll talk with you.
Speaker 2:There are a world of opportunities out there for everyone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love how you're able to talk about the bad so easily. I Did not find that Doing my year in review. I feel like it's very important to sit down and have your quiet time and reflect on the bad and the good, and For me it was. It's easier to reflect on the good. I had a really hard time reflecting on the bad and I I love how you're like it's okay. This is where I was at, because what I found in my healing journey is, when I accepted the bad it was, I was able to change.
Speaker 1:Yeah able to heal.
Speaker 2:Why do you think, or what makes you not be able to focus on the bad or just talk about it?
Speaker 1:I just I'm very hard on myself. So, I'm like I look back at some of the mistakes I made. I'm like let's just ignore that chapter. Thank God, only Jen knows.
Speaker 2:But I feel like that's how people, that's how you learn right now, that's how other people can learn from you by sharing, sometimes, the bad, and because I know you, I know you've learned and grown from it, because that's the key. If you haven't learned and grown from it, then it's a waste of a year.
Speaker 1:Yeah why waste it? Yeah right, it already exists, so let's not waste it. It already has energy, it already has time, it already took effect. Like, let's not waste it, let's embrace the bad, let's embrace the good and let's change and grow.
Speaker 2:So what would you say was your biggest lesson this year, then?
Speaker 1:my biggest lesson. You're so mean to me.
Speaker 2:I'll tell you mine. Okay, you go first. Mine was when I stick to my values. Positive things happen. When I don't stick to my values is when my world falls apart. So my biggest lesson is sticking to my values in every aspect of my life.
Speaker 1:I love that. So I would say my biggest lesson is doing things for the right reasons. I dated this year because people were on me to date. I Was tired of hearing you just need to date. You got married too young, you've never dated. You jumped right back into marriage. You never dated. You need a roster, you need to line them up and knock them down. And so what I did was this year. I was like fine, I had an attitude. I was like fine, y'all want me. Today I'll show you. And I dated with the wrong intentions and it was a shit show of a year. Yeah, so my lesson for me is watch your intentions.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, especially in Dating, because you attract what you intend for sure.
Speaker 1:Hey, what was my intent? Line them up and knock them down, yeah, and what was I attracting? Exactly, that is my little fuck boys.
Speaker 2:Narcissists like exactly.
Speaker 1:Looking back, and you know it's sitting down, which, al Poppers, I really want you to do, and it was hard for me. It was hard to sit one. It's hard for me to sit period, it's hard for me to quiet my mind, but it's so important to sit. Be quiet. Review your year, think about the good, think about the bad and honestly Ask yourself the tough questions, such as what was your biggest regret?
Speaker 2:I don't really have regrets, because I just think that's a wasted emotion, because everything's a choice.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:I made choices, and they weren't always great.
Speaker 1:Okay, so what did you ask me then? What? How do you word it? What was your biggest lesson? What was your biggest lesson? Yeah, okay, so we're gonna get rid of the regret word and we're gonna use the word lesson. Then I like it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cuz everything's a choice, everything can be a lesson.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm good or bad.
Speaker 2:So I, when people because everybody's gonna be start thinking about New Year's resolutions and the science a nobody sticks to them. Right, the first two weeks is like after the first two weeks, nobody sticks to them. But I think it's a really good to reflect, to take time to reflect on your year. What was the lessons I, what was the biggest lesson I learned and how can I apply that lesson in?
Speaker 1:2024, beautiful.
Speaker 2:So for me its intentions intentions are powerful, and for you it is values yeah, Because if I think about what's happened with Macho man he lines up with all my values like the more I think about it. I'm like and I had no like my intention the last couple months of dating. We're just like whatever.
Speaker 1:We'll see where this goes, and if that person didn't line up with your values, you got rid of them. Yep.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm proud of you. Thanks, yeah, take a bite or some frogs to find a macho, macho man.
Speaker 2:I've got to get a macho man, you're gonna have everybody bring it back. The Village People song now. All right, so biggest, yeah, go for it. Reflect first step is to reflect so it's football season.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're getting ready to roll into playoffs.
Speaker 2:Lions, holy cow. Come on now. Detroit fans, let's go crazy.
Speaker 1:First time in 30 years they took home a championship. Woo-woo, I know right. So that got me thinking. Today, while driving in the car and you notice that half time is a great time to do what Every view, every coach pulls their team into the locker room and does a half time review. You talk about the bad, you talk about the good, and you then what? Redirect, yeah, why don't we do this in life? Oh, that's a good question. Why are we waiting until the end of the year to reflect and redirect?
Speaker 2:I don't know, because I don't think it's an inattentional part of people's lives.
Speaker 1:I want to change that. Yeah, so from now on, based on your personality, you need a half time, either once a month, at the end of the month, quarterly six months or at the year. Everyone's going to be different, but I think we need to sit down and reflect on when that needs to happen.
Speaker 1:And so for me, I've decided that my half time routine is going to be at the end of the month. Every 30 days I'm going to sit down and have some quiet time and look at the good, look at the bad and redirect for the following month.
Speaker 2:And that produces a winning team. It does because it also forces you to celebrate your wins, no matter how big or small they are, because small wins keep you going and they encourage you. In my job we always talk about you got to celebrate the small wins because this is a really hard job and you don't always get the big win every week, so you really have to celebrate the small wins and maybe reflect on OK, I didn't get this goal done this month, so how can I redirect next month to get it done?
Speaker 1:Beautiful. We need to do that in our personal lives, yeah, but some people may not have time to do it monthly, and I get that. Maybe they're quarterly, yeah.
Speaker 2:Maybe they're once every six months.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but we all need to start having a halftime in our personal lives.
Speaker 2:Yeah, or start a daily. I would say incorporate it into a routine. If you have a daily routine, a weekly routine, a monthly routine, because what they say, it takes four weeks to create a habit start a routine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the key is you just have to start.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe it is start monthly and then you move into weekly and then you can do a daily morning routine where you write down three to five things you're grateful for. You write down what am I going to accomplish today? What did I?
Speaker 1:The bad, the good and then redirect.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So one of the things I loved about this year was I did build a great life.
Speaker 2:You already had one. I think you just made a better.
Speaker 1:I mean, yes, I did, but at the same time, that's been my whole thing. Is that since the divorce, I'm like I want to build a life. Yeah, I didn't have great friends, I didn't have a great circle, I just didn't have that life. And so, when you didn't have a life, you chased men. And so now that I've created a beautiful life, you notice my chasing stopped. It's like if we break up, I'm like, eh, I said this last four hours. I'm like, eh, I'm over it.
Speaker 2:And it's fine. We had a great year. Hello, we started this podcast Powering Women and Men out there. What do you think now that you've reflected on 2023, what's a goal for you in 2024?
Speaker 1:You want to know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:OK, maybe flip my page.
Speaker 2:Everybody wants to know.
Speaker 1:My goal is to put me back on the table. So last year it was build a life, build a business, be an amazing mom still. But you notice, I never made it to the roster, I never made it to lineup. And today I realized that when you value something, you make time for it. Like I value being a mom, so I make time for it. I value being a good businesswoman I make time for it. So therefore I nauseated to think I don't value myself, I don't take any time for myself. I've got it like a tumor growing outside my head right now, literally how buffers. I got a broken hip, probably a screwed up disc now in my back. But those are like the big things. Like even if I look back at the minor things, like I don't even drink water, I won't even 30 days. I don't even eat.
Speaker 2:Yes, I know I've gotten on you about your Because or nutrition.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because what's valuable to me as my kid and my business? Yeah. So for me, I'm really going to dive in deep of why aren't I important? Why don't I find value in myself? Why don't I find value in my body? Why don't I find value in exercise? Why don't I find value in going to the doctor and putting that more of a priority?
Speaker 2:in my life, because if you don't take care of yourself first, you can't take care of other people. It's eventually going to catch up with you and you're not going to be able to take care of anybody.
Speaker 1:Well, that hasn't been true for me, though. I can take care of everybody, amazingly. But what's going to happen? At the end of the day, I'm going to be an empty vessel, and I'm not going to live long.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then I won't be able to take care of anybody.
Speaker 2:Right, Because you have done it your entire life. I was fearing once Abby was gone and she wasn't here. You were just going to be like on the floor. I still might be. I'm going to be like I haven't heard from Belle. She has answered her phone and I walk in and you're just like unconscious on the floor.
Speaker 1:I haven't eaten seven days, right? So yeah, so that's my goal is to find honor in myself, to find value in myself, because studies have shown, when you value something, you invest in it, and I do not invest in myself, and that has got to change. So step one would be to honor myself and to find value in myself. Good Thanks, it's a great goal.
Speaker 2:How about you? What's your goal? I kind of had like two. One was to grow this business and this brand of ours that we have started and created and take the learnings that we've gotten and all the positive messages that we've gotten and this is kind of why we're doing it All these amazing feedback that we've gotten from people and them relating to us and how we feel and how we make them feel. And then the second one is more my career focus. I think I've gotten a little off track of what my ultimate goal is in my career. Even though I like this job I do now, I don't see it as my forever. It was kind of a stepping stopping stone, so for me it's focusing back on the things I really want to do in my career and see if I can build off some financial opportunities with it.
Speaker 1:So I like what we talked about before and to bounce off that you now are able to do that because your dating life is at a healthy standpoint. Yeah, you're happy with Macho man. Y'all are pushing two months now. Things are going great. Now it's the time to do the hard stuff in the business.
Speaker 2:Looked at my career before when I wasn't dating, but it was more just kind of growing where I was at, not looking forward, like not looking forward, it was just what can I do to improve myself now? Now I want to be like okay, five years from now, what does my career look like? How can I get there with the support of my now person, macho man Cause we've talked about that, supporting each other in our careers.
Speaker 1:I love that you're both inspiring each other to grow in that area.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's beautiful. He supports this podcast.
Speaker 1:So he better, I think, his ass. I don't care how macho he is.
Speaker 2:So yeah, supporting each other in our career goals.
Speaker 1:That's beautiful, well, and I think it's just it's encouraging you to change your focus towards that. Like it's like you've. You know, oh, you know what you've always said your love life is your youth and my love life is shit, but my career is great, yeah, and so now your love life is great, so now it's time to make your career better Using scarcity in parts of my life when it should have been abundance in all my life.
Speaker 2:I should have been thinking about my love life is great. My love life is going to be great. You weren't manifesting the words correctly.
Speaker 1:Amen. That's a lesson in 2023.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I love that. I love that One of my lessons for this year now will be that I need to have my halftime show so that way I reflect and then I redirect on my life. I'm kind of mad at myself Like I never thought of that earlier, because if I would have did that, I would not have had such a mess of a year, like at six months. You know. If I would have sat down with myself and reflected on how I was dating, why I was dating my intentions, I would have redirected myself and said okay, mal, listen, you're not doing this with the right intentions. You're doing this because people told you it hasn't worked. So let's stop. Let's come up with our new intentions and why we want to date. Let's be focused on them. Let's focus on our values and redirect myself. It would have been a different year.
Speaker 2:I think we can. No, I will. I'm going to create something for our L poppers on setting their dating intentions for the new year, because I think that's the one thing that helped me reframe my mind when I started getting kind of back into dating and I had you know, there's the first couple of days I have and I started to get back into it. It weren't great, but I was in such a better place that when I went back into the dating after like having a whatever non connection, like my intentions and just my thoughts and the way I looked at dating was totally different and the type of people I attracted were totally different.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we're not going to attract different until we reflect.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, and I think sitting down and just writing out your intentions, whether it's in dating, career, business life, because we do it in business all the time we got to do it with our personal lives, amen girl, I agree.
Speaker 1:I feel like that self reflection is lacking within us as citizens. I really do. I just feel like as humans, we're lacking, that we're so focused on everything else and everyone else and politics and the list goes on and rules, and schooling, and blah, blah, blah and status. It's like let's just go back to basics in 2024 and let's start with self reflection.
Speaker 2:Self reflection, positive affirmations, gratitude and sticking to our values. Amen, yeah.
Speaker 1:So that means asking yourself the tough questions like what are my values? Mm, hmm, yep. What are my intentions? Why am I doing this? How long do I want to do this?
Speaker 2:What does?
Speaker 1:this look like for me, right.
Speaker 2:How do I feel after, when I?
Speaker 1:go on a date with a loser, I feel icky, all right.
Speaker 2:How do I feel? How does this person make me feel? Or how do I feel when I stuck to my values? Or how did I feel when that person didn't align with my values?
Speaker 1:Oh, remember when we talked in the dating one about how like a date is an event and we need to come home and look at the event. You need to analyze the event. Yeah, ask yourself those questions that Jen just said. How did that person make me feel? What did his body language say?
Speaker 2:Yeah, what, what? You may not remember everything you talked about, but you do remember how they made you feel afterwards. What was their body language, what did your gut instincts say?
Speaker 1:And if it's not good, ladies, don't be like me and be an empath and try a hundred more times. Lord God, save yourselves, just go with it. It wasn't good to move on. Don't try to save them.
Speaker 2:You're not an adaptopet and men, don't try to save the woman, because it doesn't ever work out for you either.
Speaker 1:No, it doesn't.
Speaker 2:So yeah.
Speaker 1:We need to stop saving each other and start saving ourselves. Yeah, perfect. And then the dating world would change? I think so. Yes, self reflection. Save yourself and then get back out there. Alpapras, let's make a pack right now to do those things so that we can change the dating world. Yes, next year. I don't want to hear anyone on a podcast say the dating, the field sucks.
Speaker 2:No, we are just right. That's a scarcity mindset, that dating sucks. Yeah, no we're changing that to dating is fun, and I'm out here meeting wonderful people.
Speaker 1:Amen, and if you're not, it's a reflection of you. Yeah, so then why are you sticking?
Speaker 2:with those Right. I know Mel said dating sucks all year and like what happened? No, I'm dating someone.
Speaker 1:Yes, can you believe it?
Speaker 2:So, crazy. Dating sucks is no longer in our vocabulary.
Speaker 1:Nope, I had to change it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I did it all year and I said it sucked all year and then finally the last month, I was like right, I'm just done. I said I'm just done. I'm going to wait for Santa to drop off me, a handsome man. That's normal and I did, and Santa provided All right, girly. So cheers to what 2023 taught us.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:How it changed us, the changes we created, the mistakes that we made and to the growth that took place.
Speaker 2:Yep Cheers, cheers. So, l poppers, take time to reflect first. Then think about what your goals are that are going to be this year. Maybe do like the first 30 days, and I'm going to do this, the next 60 days, I'm going to do this, and the next 90 days, I'm going to do this.
Speaker 1:And if you have to do one minute of time, do one minute of time. Just start. And we are going to end this year with a big announcement we are L poppers. We're doing it, january 7th.
Speaker 2:What are we doing, Mel?
Speaker 1:We're a drop in merch.
Speaker 2:We got some merchandise.
Speaker 1:You asked, we listened. So stay tuned for the merch we're going to drop on January 7th for you, l poppers. Thanks, friends.
Speaker 2:Thanks, guys, and good luck with your 2024 goals, amen.
Speaker 1:Don't forget to review 2023. Peace out.