Redefining Success: A Journey Towards Personal Growth, Balance, and Fulfilling Life

What if the definition of success you're chasing is the very thing holding you back? It's time for a radical redefinition of success in this episode, where we challenge conventional norms and explore the importance of holistic growth, balance, and overall happiness in our pursuit of success. We unravel the potential pitfalls of associating success solely with wealth, possessions, or status and the damage it can inflict on personal growth and well-being.

Let's confront the demons of perfectionism, external validation, comparative success, and burnout that lurk behind damaging definitions of success. It's a journey of self-discovery as we encourage you, our listeners, to redefine success in alignment with your personal values, goals, and overall well-being. We offer insights and strategies to help you create a healthier, more sustainable perspective on success, which will ultimately benefit both your personal life and your business.

Taking a closer look at the business realm, we highlight the necessity for an intentional and mindful definition of success that doesn't compromise on work-life balance, continuous learning, and personal fulfillment. We'll inspire you to create a definition of success that propels you to work hard, maintain balance, and avoid the destructive feelings of inadequacy and shame. Let's embark on this journey together to redefine success, heighten self-awareness, and set the right course to reach our goals and live fulfilling lives.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

How do you define success? This, I have found to be an extremely important thing to ponder and to have in front of you, to remember what we feel is success and how we want that to guide us where it's aligned with what feels good for us and it's just guiding us in the direction that we want to be going. So today we're going to be talking about how you define success and why that matters. Ways in which to define success that are unhelpful and will lead you in a negative direction, and how to create your own definition of success and find what that is to you. So, without further ado, let's jump right in. How you define, measure and focus on success really matters, and here's why your definition of success serves as a really powerful motivator. So it can be a motivator in a negative way that is not sustainable, or a motivator in a very positive, sustainable way that makes us feel good. So it greatly impacts our motivation and drive. When our definition of success reflects our personal aspirations, our desires, our grounded in our values, it can fuel this determination and commitment to helping us achieve these goals. However, on the other hand, in externally imposed definition, a definition that doesn't align with our values, a definition placed on us that really holds a lot of shame or unrealistic expectations, can lead to a lack of motivation or a lack of sustainability and definitely a lack of enthusiasm, where it just doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel good to be moving after these, these goals, with this self or with this externally imposed definition of success. Another reason why it really matters is because your definition of success encompasses your well-being, your holistic growth, your balance and your overall happiness. It really can contribute to all of these things and it encompasses all of these things. So prioritizing your physical, mental and emotional health, as well as nurturing positive relationships and keeping this as part of your definition of success, can lead to a more fulfilling path to success and also fit well in your life, where you are taking care of both you outside of the business and the business at the same time in a way that feels good.

Speaker 1: 2:38

The next reason why it's so important is because of resilience and adaptability. These are really impacted by what you and how you define success. A flexible and adaptive definition of success allows you to be able to weather setbacks and adapt to these changing circumstances, and when you place this emphasis on this narrow definition of success, setbacks can be really devastating because of what you have defined success as, maybe as a lack with. There should be no failure, there should be no downfalls, there should be no hardships. This is going to devastate you because you will absolutely have quote unquote failure in your business. So a more balanced perspective is going to foster that resilience and adaptability which makes it more sustainable and enjoyable to be a business owner. Next, having the correct definition of success for you in a way that feels good is going to help you have sustainable achievements and you've heard me say sustainable a few times already.

Speaker 1: 3:47

Additional success is really important because if we are not focusing on the sustainable achievements, we're going to have short term gains and focus on short term gains, and it's not going to be. We're also going to take care of ourselves, thinking or acting in a way that this is just something that short term that we want to accomplish, not realizing or not having awareness that we need to be able to sustain this growth, sustain this achievement, sustain our goals, and so, for all those reasons, it really matters how you define success and that's not an all inclusive list. Just thinking on my experience, it is it's a lot of pressure to have a business and it's a lot of pressure to have goals as well. Right, it's. It's. It's tough to have all of these goals on our on our mind all the time, right, and when we are leading a practice and we have so much responsibility. If we're defining success incorrectly, we are not going to wake up in a way that excites us to be part of our business, to be working on our business, to be striving in our business, and it's it's going to be absolutely to burn out, because if success is based on something that doesn't make you feel good, you're going to feel ashamed, you're not going to feel enthusiastic about it, you're going to want to avoid it. It's just not going to feel good at all. So we're going to dive more into that and talk about the different ways in which definitions of success can really really impact you in an unhealthy way, in unrealistic ways, in just where they become really problematic. And then we're going to talk about the ways in which we should be defining success for ourselves, and you, ultimately, are going to be the one to decide that for yourself, but I'm going to give you a little help with that today.

Speaker 1: 5:39

Okay, so definitions of success can, of course, really vary widely among individuals and among business owners, and they can oftentimes lead to trouble when they're based on unrealistic or unhealthy ideals. Sometimes you really stick to show that there's a lot of really successful people quote, unquote successful people who are really really unhappy, and I wouldn't define that as success in my terms of what success means and what I have found to be my compass when it comes to that definition and to what I want to lead me. So here are some definitions of success that can be very problematic, and this is a good opportunity for you to kind of check in with yourself as well and ask yourself are you defining your success solely in this way? Okay, so the first one I'm sure you can guess it is materialistic success, associating success solely with the acquisition of wealth, possessions or status. Of course this can lead you down a route that you did not intend to go down. It can lead you to excessive greed, unethical behavior, definitely a lack of fulfillment, and it neglects personal growth and well-being. Okay, of course we have our goals that are materialistic. We have our financial goals, we have our profit goals, and those are good to have, those are good to go after. But if we are exclusively focusing on this, we're going to be making decisions based on this. We're going to be making decisions on if we want to Like, if it's, if we can be happy at this point, like we're gonna be holding off happiness, holding off taking care of ourselves until we reach that goal. We're gonna be making decisions for our business based on that and solely on that, which is a huge problem for the just sustainability, happiness, ethics of the business. So huge, huge problem. I mean we definitely want to check that.

Speaker 1: 7:41

The next definition of success that can be problematic is if we're defining it off of this perfectionism, setting extremely high and unattainable standards for ourselves Now, while striving for excellence or greater. It can be positive, but this reason relentless pursuit of perfectionism is is not possible and it's absolutely going to result in anxiety, burnout, dissatisfaction, okay. And it's also a place where you will never be satisfied, because perfectionism never, it doesn't exist. So if you're continuing to reach that, you're always going to feel like where you're going is not good enough. Again, checking with yourself Is this something that you are currently doing? How are you doing this, okay? The next definition that's problematic is through external validation, where you're seeking success and you're defining success solely based on external validation that you're getting, like approval from others or recognition. Relying on other people's opinions are going to absolutely impact you, because you will run across people who do not like you, who do not agree, and then what are you going to do? If you're basing how you feel and success off of that, you are in for a lot of disappointment and distress. Relying on others opinions is really going to lead to this lack of self worth. It's going to make you feel not confident in your business and it's just contingent on this external source, which is not going to get you anywhere Good.

Speaker 1: 9:24

The next definition of success we really want to be careful about is comparative success. Defining success based on, like, outperforming others quote unquote or by comparing to someone in the same business as you. This competitive mindset set is going to keep you stuck. It's going to lead to, of course, unhealthy rivalries, jealousy, constant feeling of inadequacy, and you're never going to find what you're searching for there. We can all have success and be each other's cheerleader. We don't want to be stuck in that lack mindset. We don't want to be stuck in that Scarce mindset. Okay, so be very careful of that now.

Speaker 1: 10:08

Comparing in it of itself is not bad. It's a good thing. All humans do it. We do it for a lot of reasons that are helpful to us. We just want to make sure it's staying on the healthy side of comparison. Comparison can help us to get new ideas, ask ourselves how are people doing things differently? Does that look fun? Is that something I want to do? Is this something I want to obtain and you can reach after those new goals that you have, you know, received maybe from Comparing to others? However, if you are moving in a direction just because you are comparing and you're not happy about it, you don't know why you want to go in that direction. That can absolutely happen if you are in this competitive Mindset, which can just lead to again burn out, not being happy in it and it being unsustainable. So we definitely don't want that definition of success.

Speaker 1: 11:00

The next definition of success that is problematic and will bring you to stress in your life and in your business Is this one-dimensional success. Okay, and you can say and that can be a lot of different things that can be just one-dimensional, as in you are Using your definition is comparative, or your definition is is exclusively financial, or it's based on perfectionism, but believing that success is solely about excelling in one area is going to be very problematic and, additionally, very problematic in a one-dimensional way of success is going to be when you're solely focusing on excelling in one area of your life, like just your business, just your career, at the expense of other things that are Important to you, like your personal relationships, your well-being, your health, your other hobbies, your time. This is definitely going to result in imbalances of feelings. It's going to Create emptiness. It's it's going to create a feeling of lack and you will not be content here.

Speaker 1: 12:08

The next problematic definition is overwork and burnout. Aquating success with like working exclusively it like in your business and not on other areas of your life, working excessive long hours, sacrificing and sacrificing, like sacrificing your health leads your relationship. This definition of success is definitely going to lead to physical and mental health issues, relationship problems and just overall general dissatisfaction in your life and in your business. And and lastly, short-term success is problematic if we are making our definition as Something that encompasses just short term, because if we're focusing on only immediate gains and instant gratification, this is going to result in poor long, long-term planning, inability to be sustainable, impulsive decisions and financial and personal consequences.

Speaker 1: 13:02

Now, if you related to, if you were like if any of those resonated with you. I want you just to say that's okay. That's okay, don't beat yourself up. This is good to just kind of plant some seeds, raise awareness and ask yourself Am I struggling with some of these? Because these are extremely common struggle for business owners, very, very common. It is okay if you're here, but we want to check that and ask ourselves why, so we can move in the direction that is going to be best for us.

Speaker 1: 13:33

Owning a business and running a business is really hard, and a lot of times these definitions of success are there because we have these protective parts of us that feel that these are important, and so they're. They are Causing us to hold on tight to these for some sort of safety, because business is hard, it's volatile, it's you never know what's going to happen, and so by holding tight onto these different definitions, you could feel a bit safer. But we really want to ask ourselves Is this actually causing Safety? Is this is creating safety? Is this helping us? Is there a better definition of success that is going to be better for us to follow along with and to help guide us? And Absolutely there is, and that's the next thing we're going to go into, and it's really important as we go into this to remember there's not going to be a universal, correct definition of success. You and your business owner friend Are not going to have the same definitions of success, and that is absolutely okay.

Speaker 1: 14:35

But what is crucial about your personal definition is that it aligns with your values. It promotes well-being in all areas of your life. It contributes positively to your life and to others. Lives Like others, lives including your, your family, your friends, your community, your employees, your clients. Definitions of success should be flexible, they should be adaptable and they should be focused on holistic growth rather than these narrowly defined achievements. Now troubles really arise when these definitions become like the ones we were just chatting about, which are rigid, externally imposed and Damaged, damaging to your physical, your emotional and your mental health and well-being as well. So let's talk about and get clear on your definition of success now that we went through what we don't want it to be and what is holding us back.

Speaker 1: 15:27

So where we want to get started is we first want to clarify our purpose. Success begins with understanding why our business exists. What problem does it solve? What value does it bring to our community, to our employees, to our customers. Clarify your business's purpose really provides a guiding principle for measuring your success. I also want to take that one step further and not only say what does this business's purpose serve for the community? We absolutely want to ask ourselves that but we also want to ask what purpose does it serve for us? Why did we start this? Because when you started your business, you might have said I want to start my business so that I can have more flexibility, so I can spend time in the areas of my life where I desire to on my hobbies, with my families okay, in a values-based way. And if you strayed away and you actually have had that stripped away from you and you are taking now, you have less time for that. We want to get really clear on the purpose of why we started this for ourselves, what we're excited about for, how this would align with our lives. What was that purpose?

Speaker 1: 16:47

Next, I want you to set some meaningful goals. I want you to establish specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound goals, so smart goals. These are going to help you to start to raise awareness around where you want to go. And the next thing I want you to do. So we just chatted about what our purpose is for ourselves, for our community, why we got into this, what we are trying to do here, and with that, I want you to think about your goals. Where do you want to take this business? Where do you want to personally be and set some smart goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound and I'm going to say smart with a silent C at the end, which and also add that compassionate part of it. I think that's really important to continue to hold that compassion for yourself and everyone.

Speaker 1: 17:42

When you're making these goals and when we are thinking of our goals, I want you to ask yourself are these goals balanced? Is this a balanced perspective of success I am setting my goals off of, because success encompasses multiple dimensions. You can have financial growth goals, but also we want to make sure we're having employee satisfaction goals, community impact goals, ethical practice goals, self-care goals, value-based goals. So if you find that as you're thinking about your goals, they are all financial-based or growth-based, ask yourself is this aligned or is this balanced? And when we're making these goals, we want to make sure they're customer-centric and they're employee engagement-centric as well. So we're creating a positive work environment. We're creating a business that is based on creating these exceptional services for our clients. Okay, so, after we created some of these goals and maybe this is something that would be better to have done at the end, but that's okay let's go into some other definitions of success that are going to be really helpful for you.

Speaker 1: 19:08

So we want our definition of success to encompass sustainability. Long term success considers both longevity of the business, impact over time, impact on our lives over time, and we need, we want. We're working so hard to create this business right and we're putting so much time into this business. So if we don't have something sustainable, we have something that is just going to cause burnout or we can't keep up with or we're creating in a way that we just can't keep up with, then it's absolutely going to be just very distressing and why are we creating something that we can't sustain? So we want to make sure our definition of success is sustainable and that's why perfectionism and having a definition around being just having everything be perfect or having no problems or having no bad bad years or bad months or bad periods that is going to. If we're defining success off of that, it's not going to be sustainable because it's going to really get us down when we quote, unquote, fail, which are necessary parts of learning in the business and are going to happen, and it's going to cause us to want to quit and give up.

Speaker 1: 20:27

When we're making our definition of success, I also want you to consider is your definition of success inclusive of your work life balance or of your life? Do you have work life balance in that definition of success? Is your well being in there? We really want to strike a balance between work and personal life to avoid burnout, to maintain our healthy lifestyle, to contribute to our overall success and to make sure we're not neglecting other areas of our life. Of course, work life balance is not always going to happen. You are a business owner. Sometimes you're going to be extremely busy in the business and we have to make sacrifices, but that is not where we should stay and we have to ask ourselves is that making us happy? What can we do to take better care of ourselves?

Speaker 1: 21:10

The next thing we should consider when we are defining success is where is learning and growth in your definition of success? Continuous learning, continuous development, continuous growth are absolutely wonderful indicators of success and they're really. I love this as a definition of success because learning and growth can mean falling down right. It can mean quote, unquote failing. It can mean having a bad year, having bad months. It can be going through a tough time, and this helps us to be resilient and not start to shame ourselves for having a hard time in business. Those hard times promote so much growth. They cause us to learn so much. It's in the hardest times that we're doing the most amount of learning and we take so much away from that to move into the future of our business and apply. So I love learning and growth when it comes to defining success, and so get really clear on what that means to you. What does learning and growth mean to you and why? Is that a good definition of success for you?

Speaker 1: 22:19

And piggybacking off of learning and growth, you can also add in flexibility and resilience. Is that part of your definition of success? Because success absolutely is the ability to navigate challenges, to adapt to these unforeseen circumstances you could have never thought about, and to remain resilient in the face of adversity Flexibility and resilience. If you are gaining more of that as a business owner, you are absolutely succeeding. That is absolutely success that is going to bring you so much. And, lastly, in your definition of success, bliss, right, fulfillment, happiness. Ultimately, success is linked to personal happiness and fulfillment. If you, as a business owner, find joy and satisfaction in your work and impact you make, you're achieving success. That is fantastic.

Speaker 1: 23:16

If you find that you are not liking what you're doing, you don't want to wake up and go to work, you are avoidant of tasks in work, you're just not happy, you're not fulfilled, then that is a problem. And the problem might be the way you're defining success or what you're putting your focus on. So that's absolutely something you want to consider. And if that's not in your definition of success, why are we here? Why are we doing that? What's the point, and what goes along with that as well, is alignment with your values, because if you're aligned with your values, that's going to bring you a lot of happiness and fulfillment in what you're doing. So how is your definition of success aligned with your values? Is it aligned with your values? If not, how do we get that aligned with your values? Do you know your values?

Speaker 1: 24:10

Your definition of success should align with your core values, and this is super important because when it does, you're more likely to find the work more meaningful, fulfilling in your pursuits, in the challenges. It's going to be more sustainable and it's going to be aligned with what you believe in, what your values are right it's going so if your values are helping to create and make the world a better place and to find enjoyment and mindfulness in your day, to enjoy the little moments and to be honest and have an honest practice, well then, this is the kind of this is what we want guiding us, because this is going to influence every decision we make our value and we want our values to be guiding every decision we make in the business. They're a wonderful guide, so they actually absolutely should be in our definition of success, because our definition of success drives us every day. It's going to drive our desire to work hard and it's going to drive our desire to what to work on. It's going to drive our decisions in creating balance that's going to create sustainability for our business. It's something we check in unconsciously with every day. It is our drive, it is our motivation. It's why we are doing this.

Speaker 1: 25:37

We want success in one way or the other, so we need to get really, really, really clear on what that means for us, so we don't fall into these negative definitions of success that just weigh us down, make us feel inadequate, make us feel shameful and just really confuse us. Now, again, I want to show a lot of compassion to you as we're ending this episode, because if you feel like your definition of success is not aligned with your values and just doesn't feel good, that's a very common place to be. I get it. These external definitions of success are always being handed to us and being pushed on us. They're always being pushed on us. It's really, really easy to fall into the definition of success with comparison or finances or just one dimensional or how hard we work. It's very, very easy. I have been in all of those places and it's something that you're going to probably continue to struggle with, but that's why we want to get really clear, really aware and be really intentional.

Speaker 1: 26:40

So today, I hope this was able to plant some seeds, and I want you to take this away and just raise some awareness around it. Ask yourselves where is my definition of success? Do I feel happy with that? Do I want to change it? And maybe take it one step further and write yourself a definition of success for you and put it on your agenda book, put it somewhere in your office where you can look at it every day so it can guide you and your work, all right, well, thank you so much for being here. I am so grateful to have you all here. I hope you are able to take away some nuggets and I will see you next time on the podcast.