Find the full transcript at yourfuturerealized.com/21.
Do you enjoy a little interpersonal drama in your ops team? Yeah, neither do I.
In a complex business environment with a diverse team, conflict is inevitable. It is the unwanted guest that keeps showing up to the party uninvited.
As the drama unfolds, it can trigger a domino effect. Misunderstandings multiply, resentments fester, and it drags down everyone’s productivity and morale.
Conflict happens wherever people come together, especially in workplaces, and especially wherever people with different goals are constantly interdependent, like in Operations.
You need to be able to get in there, get it resolved, and get them back on track. And there are a lot of resolution strategies available. But where do you start? Which delivers the best results?
In this episode, I’ll unveil the first crucial step to elevating your conflict resolution skills.
Do you enjoy a little interpersonal drama in your ops team? Yeah, neither do I.
In a complex business environment with a diverse team, conflict is inevitable. It is the unwanted guest that keeps showing up to the party uninvited.
As the drama unfolds, it can trigger a domino effect. Misunderstandings multiply, resentments fester, and it drags down everyone’s productivity and morale.
Conflict happens wherever people come together, especially in workplaces, and especially wherever people with different goals are constantly interdependent, like in Operations.
You need to be able to get in there, get it resolved, and get them back on track. And there are a lot of resolution strategies available. But where do you start? Which delivers the best results?
In this episode, I’ll unveil the first crucial step to elevating your conflict resolution skills.
Find the full transcript at yourfuturerealized.com/21.
Understanding Your Conflict Response
Hello Ops Execs!
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about handling team drama, it’s that it’s not just a set of skills, strategies, or quick fixes. It’s a mindset.
You handle conflict better when you are aware of your natural approach to it.
So, when you’re faced with conflict, what typically happens to you? I've found great success leveraging the Enneagram to explore this. In the Enneagram context, there are three conflict styles: Assertive, Withdrawing, or Compliant.
You settled into your conflict style as a kid. And each one provides unique benefits. For example:
· If you have an assertive conflict style, you’re direct and confrontational. You’re not afraid to express your opinions and stand up for yourself. This fosters empowerment and respect with people and helps get things resolved efficiently.
· If you have a withdrawing conflict style, you tend to avoid conflict. You withdraw from it first, so you can process what’s going on inside before engaging. You can maintain an emotional balance and avoid unnecessary confrontation. This diffuses tension in relationships.
· If you have a compliant conflict style, you accommodate other people’s needs first. You listen actively, empathize deeply, and find mutually beneficial solutions. This builds trust and understanding and promotes collaboration.
Each also has its liability:
· Assertive types can be seen as aggressive or dominant, especially when they’re not tactful. This can lead to others feeling intimidated.\
· Withdrawing types can show up to others as indifferent. This can lead to unresolved issues and resentments that build up over time.
· Compliant types can be seen as weak and lacking confidence when they don’t assert their own needs. It can lead to feelings of being taken advantage of.
Developing Self-Awareness
So, which of these three styles resonate most strongly with you?
None of them is better than the others, though there may be times when one is more effective than another.
The goal of knowing your conflict style isn’t to change it. It’s simply to understand it so you can have more choices and more power to handle conflicts in your team.
What that takes is practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of being present to your experience, without judging it.
To do this, when you encounter a conflict, take a moment to pause, breathe, and check in with yourself. This will help you understand how your body, mind, and emotions are reacting to the situation.
For example: I have a client with an assertive style. She says that when she senses conflict, she has a strong desire to state her opinion forcefully and confront it head-on. She said: “My heart rate goes up and I get super alert. It feels like a firehose waiting to unleash a powerful stream of water.”
A client who has a compliant style says he tends to feel very anxious around conflict. He worries about disappointing others. In conflict, he often experiences a knot in the pit of his stomach and racing thoughts in his brain.
For me, with a withdrawing style, my default mode is to feel overwhelmed by conflict. It is often a muscle tension in my neck and my stomach. And I just have a sensation like I’ve got to escape so I can get ahold of myself again and think clearly.
Applying Self-Awareness in Conflict Resolution
These are a few examples to show how your own style can come through. But everyone's experiences are different. There are many ways your body sends you intel when you come up to conflict. Your job is to notice it and get curious about it.
By tuning into your inner experience, you can calm and regulate those impulses, so they don’t control you. That will help you upgrade your approach when drama arises so you can choose your next step wisely.
And remember, it can be hard to stop and be mindful during tough times if you're not used to it. Regular, consistent mindfulness practice boosts your self-awareness. This prepares you to handle conflicts more effectively when they arise.
Imagine it like working out at the gym. The idea of doing 200 crunches may seem daunting. Yet, if you build up your reps over time, a few times a week, reaching 200 becomes much more easily manageable.
Want to hear more about building practices that give you a calmer mind? Check out episode 15, How to Lead Operations Without Losing Your Cool.
You can’t stop the chaos, but you can change the game.