Tips for Teachers: How to Reject Extra Duties in Your Area of Expertise Without Feeling Guilty

Freedom From the Obligatory Teacher Duty Trap: Reclaim Your Time Without Guilt

Are you drowning under a pile of extra "duties" no one else wants - graduation planning, coaching teams, chairing committees? So many teachers get stuck on the never-ending obligatory duty carousel, scared to get off for fear of looking like a slacker or letting students down. This toxicity has to stop!

In this must-listen episode, learn a powerful mindset shift to escape the black hole of undesirable duties without burning bridges. Host Grace Stevens shares the exact script to push back professionally while still being a team player. Discover how to:

💡 Plant seeds early for a smooth "succession plan" transition 
💡 Say "Yes" without being handcuffed to the task forever
💡 Shut down guilt trips from manipulative colleagues or admins 
💡 Advocate for duties aligned with YOUR strengths and passions
💡 Learn the powerful "Yes, AND" strategy, because setting boundaries is not always a yes/no proposition

You pour your heart into nurturing students, but that doesn't mean signing up for every soul-sucking obligatory chore that lands on your plate. Learn how to draw healthy boundaries without jeopardizing your reputation or good standing. 

➡️ To get your FREE 🎁 PDF Guide The Professional Teacher's Guide to Saying "No" visit: www.gracestevens.com/sayno

Want to truly thrive in teaching without sacrificing your personal life? Check out the Elevated Teacher Experience here
Check out the best-selling Positive Mindset Habits for Teachers book here
And the #1 new release for educators Beat Teacher Burnout with Better Boundaries book here

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Transcript

  Okay, friends, I am so excited to bring you this episode this week. It has been inspired by  quite a few coaching sessions that I've had over the last few weeks. The same issue seems to be coming up, and that is anxiety that teachers are feeling that they already know next year there are duties that it is assumed they will take and they don't want to take them.

And so I want to give you some tools. And specifically one tool, because there's a big mistake that most people are making when it comes to this succession planning, like let's get the idea out there that somebody else needs to do this next year, right? So I'm going to give you a specific tool, a fantastic strategy.

It is gonna, it can help you actually in all areas of your life, because you may be aware of the fact that to live really a peaceful, joyful life, you need to be able to embrace saying no without guilt and yes, without fear. And I'm going to help you with that right on the inside. Let's get to it. Welcome to the Balance Your Teacher Life podcast, where we talk all things avoiding educator burnout, setting healthy boundaries, and achieving better work life balance. 

If you're passionate about education, but tired of it consuming your whole life, you have found your home in the podcast universe. I'm your host, Grace Stevens, and let's get going with today's show. 

Usually, if you've been following along with my books or my podcast or any of my courses, I'm pretty consistent in the secret sauce in saying no. Well, there's a couple of them and you can go. I do a deep dive in them in a bunch of episodes. In fact, I really think like it was maybe episode two, right back at the very beginning.

I gave you the exact. Script and strategies for saying no in a professional way that no administrator, co worker  and parent or whomever could object with. And the secret sauce to that, there were two things. One, buy yourself some time, like never commit to something in the moment, so you have time to get your thoughts together.

Right?  And have a paper trail to reply in writing. But two, the big piece was to have a student focused reason. Okay. Not to say it's not my contract, it's not, you know, it's above and beyond my duties or I don't want to do it or I'm too busy to do it or I'm too stressed to do it. You need to give a student focused reason.

Okay. So, as you may be aware, this is a new grade assignment for me this year. I feel that any extra time I have needs to be dedicated into learning the curriculum, getting myself up to speed, learning the strategies to differentiate instruction and help students be successful. Okay. That is  just an example off the top of my head of a student focused reason.

Extra bonus points if you can throw in jargon, okay. Differentiate instruction, you know, academically proficient, you know, full rigor, you know, all the buzzwords, throw them in. Anyway, so far, so good. Go back and listen to some of those other episodes. I have done it a lot  with specific five step strategies and tips.

Okay, but here's where we find ourselves. What if,  what if the reason is not student focused? What if There is a personal reason. Here's an example. Let's say you are the eighth grade teacher or  Specifically in high school like so eighth grade. There's usually eighth grade promotion in the United States.

That's a big deal. It's like a graduation for eighth grade students, right or let's say you're in high school and  You're part of like the graduating class, right? It's going to be assumed that you're going to take care of graduation. Maybe you do it every year. Maybe you take care of yearbook  every year.

Whether or not it's stipend or not, people assume you're going to do it because it's kind of, it's not really your job, but it's kind of adjacent to your job. Okay? So let's say that That's the particular instance. What if,  personal reason, you have a child graduating that year?  Maybe, next year, you know, you're going to have a child graduating, whether they're at your school or not.

Usually, graduations all happen at the same time. Right? You want to be a parent, not a teacher. Right? You want to be a parent that week. And so you need to, what I call, start succession planning. It's the perfect time to do it now is  give notice to your  admin or whomever that you will not automatically be taking that duty next year.

Okay, now you're not going to be able to give a student focus reason  because it's a personal thing. So how are you going to do that? So first off, let me give you some examples of things that would be kind of, you know, adjacent to your job. Assume you're going to do it. One, maybe because you've always done it.

Right. For example, I was the SST coordinator at my school for like five, six years, not my kids, other students, other people's kids. And it really had nothing to do with my job, but I got asked to do it one year and then year after year after year was just assumed I was going to do it. Okay. So I needed to give some notice, some succession planning, right?

Some how am I, how are we going to give notice? How are we going to train the new person? All these things, right? It's not something you want to. dump on an admirin at the last minute. But some things that, that was an example of something not adjacent to your particular job, right? It was just another adjunct duty that you got roped into, right?

It can be easier to get out of those, but the ones that assumed, let's say you're a science teacher.  Again, science camp, science fair, science Olympiad, right? Gonna assume that that's yours. You're a music teacher, concerts.  Right? Talent shows, whatever, banned, banned practice, banned trips, I'm going to assume it's yours because it's adjacent to your duties.

So how do you go about doing this when the reason for not wanting to do it isn't student focused because the students you have are expecting this, right? So here's the secret sauce. Okay, the secret sauce is the mistake people make. Well, there's a couple. One is you spring it on people.  Okay, so this is where this idea of succession planning comes in.

If you know you're not going to want to do it next year, plant the seeds right now so that your admin has plenty of time that they can't come back and say, I don't have time to find anybody else. I don't have time to train anybody else. Okay, so that's mistake number one is like waiting because you want to avoid it because it's an uncomfortable step.

Conversation, you know, I want to remind you at this point that those few moments of discomfort,  right?  Really, in the long run, you've got to remember it's worth living through those few moments of discomfort and that uncomfortable conversation. That might last, you know,  10 minutes, a few days of tension versus a whole year of resentment that you have every time you have to do that duty.

Right? Resentment, stress. overwhelm. I always tell people any yes, anytime you say yes to something. You are saying no to something else. So if you're saying yes to something you know you really don't want to do, then you're saying no to your own peace of mind, extra time with your family, extra time by yourself, right?

All those things. So mistake number one is waiting till it's too late.  Biggest mistake I see people make is they feel that what I would put in this whole kind of bucket of setting boundaries, they feel it's a binary proposition. They feel it's a yes or a no.  And I do spend a lot of time coaching people how to say no.

Teachers in particular, I find a conflict avoidant. We're people pleasers. I was the worst of them all. It's kind of ironic that I teach that now when it's still something that I struggle with is so, you know, I do spend a lot of time coaching how to say no,  but it is not always a binary proposition.

So instead of thinking it has to be yes, I'm doing it or no, I'm not doing it. We need this concept of yes, with limitations. Okay, yes, with limitations. So that's going to look like, yes, I'll do it, and,  right, not but, you know, it's like when you're giving feedback to somebody, this is great, this is great, this is great, but, and then you give them the feedback that erased everything positive that you said before.

People stop hearing that. So don't say yes, but, it's going to be a yes.  And so let me give you a specific example. Let's say  in the previous example that you, let's say you are an eighth grade teacher and it usually falls on you to organize  promotion, graduation, whatever you want to call it.  You have a child graduating that year or not.

Maybe you have some other pressing reason that you just don't. aren't able to do it. That particular year. So you're going to give as much notice as you can and your yes, and is going to be  Yes, I will help with this. And I need the following. I need a gen ed teacher to take over that particular evening. I need help of parents to do it X, Y, and Z.

Right, you give the things that will make it doable for you. You're not going to be there on that particular evening. You're not going to be doing the decorations. You're not going to be doing all that. You're not going to supervise the dance. Like I will oversee it and help people. And here's what I need for it to work.

Okay. So in a specific example I had this week, I was teaching talking to some music teachers who were all lovely. And one of them said, how do you set boundaries with an administrator who has an unrealistic vision?  And I said, what do you mean by that? And he said, well, with two days notice, they want you to put on a concert. 

So, okay. You're the music teacher. Obviously putting on a concert is your responsibility. And so this particular teacher, especially as they weren't tenured yet, felt there was no way they could say no. Okay.  But you can say yes and, and you can say yes if this is something you truly want me to do and you want it to reflect well on you.

Because if it's awful, it's going to reflect poorly on the administrator. Okay, that's how you're going to get their buy in. You can say it more subtly than that. If you want it to be a success, something that the students and the school can be proud of,  here's what I need. So yes and. Yes, I will do it.

Understanding that there are limitations with only two days notice. You know, students won't, may not be properly trained. Will parents even have enough notice to show up? And here's what I would need to make it successful. I would need, so I would need sub coverage from my classroom so that I would have time during the school day.

To prepare this, I would need general education teachers to commit to being part of the performance, to managing students, to being there if for rehearsals, if there are late pickups from parents, like all the things. So it's a yes and, right? Yes, I'll do it. And to make it successful, here are the things I'll do.

I would need. Okay. And so the yes and strategy is what I call yes and limitations. The same with science fair. Yes, I will organize science fair this year  and be aware that, not science fair, excuse me if it was science camp, and be aware that I myself am unavailable to go this year due to COVID 19. You know, my kids having surgery, or you know, when you go to science camp, you've got to be away from home for like a week.

There are lots of people who cannot do that. I have a newborn baby. I'm not comfortable leaving them with a stranger for a week. You know, there are many, many reasons that science camp, while it is a wonderful experience, and I'm telling you, I'm not a science teacher. I never was a science teacher. I was fascinated by science.

If the science teacher had said, I can't go to science camp, I need another teacher to take over for me, I would have run at that opportunity. You know, not when my kids were little, when I was a single parent, but once they were gone, whatever, they were more independent, I would have loved to have gone to science camp.

So don't assume that nobody else wants to do it. Okay. Don't assume nobody else wants to do it. And the other big thing is don't assume, don't get guilted into it,  right? You know how you get that. Oh, well, if you don't do it, no one else is going to do it. And the kids are going to go without. Absolutely, 100 percent not true in most cases, I'm going to say.

You are a convenient choice. You are the first choice for that reason. Maybe you are the most qualified. Hopefully you are the most qualified. But maybe the only criteria  with me, as far as the SST process went, I wasn't a special ed teacher. I didn't have any any special certifications in that. Like, what made me most qualified was I was the mug who would say yes to it. 

Right? I was the convenient choice. That's what made me the most qualified at that point. I was the person who would say yes, who could be trusted to make a positive impression with parents, to show up prepared, to advocate for any student. Right? That's just who I was. Okay, and I happen to have, you know, professional communication skills because I had a very strong background in managing people, working with people before I became a teacher.

Okay. So yes, I was an excellent choice, but yeah, mostly because I was going to make the school look good. Keep them out of trouble, right? You can get in some very serious trouble if you don't handle SSTs properly. Okay. So don't assume that you're the only person who can do it. There are probably other people who would love to do it. 

And just because you're a convenient choice doesn't mean you need to be that choice every single time. And don't get guilted into it. Listen, if you got if you won the lottery tomorrow and called in rich, right? Do you really think there would be no science camp next year?  Or no more concerts ever again?

Or do you think  your school would figure it out? I promise you they would figure it out. Lots of people are convenient. Nobody is indispensable. I, but that sounds harsh. That is 100 percent the truth. My, my father taught me that when I was a teenager. He said it again and again and It was true. Lots of people are convenient.

Nobody is indispensable. They will find someone to do it. Okay?  So, don't let yourself get guilted. You know, the number one way not to be guilty is to have a student focused reason. Okay? That's what I always coach people on, saying no with a student focused reason. But if it's a personal reason,  Maybe your best strategy is the yes and yes with limitations.

So now that's for succession planning, right? Giving people a heads up that next year you won't automatically be doing something. What if it's mid year? What if you committed to something and it turns out to be something  very different than you thought it was? Or it's taking up way too much time or way too much kind of emotional burden?

I was on the school safety committee and part of that school safety committee was the police officers would come in and the  local fire  officer would come in and we would have to do these roundtable simulations real time where they would drop a scenario. Okay, there's a, you get a phone call that there's a bomb on campus and it's in a backpack and you know, What do you do?

Go. And it's like this real life simulation where we have like 20 minutes to figure this thing out. Exactly what are we doing? And then the police and the fire chief and everybody else would be giving us feedback. And you know, we would have school plans. Here's the map of your school. Where are you going?

What are you doing? Which entrance? Which exit? You know, I found that very triggering. Right, I didn't realize that's what we would be doing. And I wasn't an administrator. Why am I doing this? I'm not the one making the calls. The administrator should be sitting in this meeting, not me. So yes, that was something in the middle of the year that I wanted to get out of.

So there could be many reasons that in the middle of the year you want to get out of something you've committed to. Okay? And don't get guilted into that either. You didn't sign a contract. All right. You didn't sign a contract saying I will be on this, you know, committee for the rest of the school year.

There are simple words that you can say that let people know  you are not rejecting them. You are rejecting the duty. Okay? So make sure that you approach it so that people know you're not rejecting them. You're rejecting the duty. And you can say simple things like, You're I changed my mind. My circumstances changed. 

This duty is no longer a good match for me.  Just short, simple statements.  I would be happy to work with you until you find a replacement.  I'll be happy to train the replacement on what needs to be done to represent our school in the most positive light. Again, you need to let the admin know that this reflects on them.

If you are. In a committee that you're not interested in, likely you're not participating,  right?  At best you're not participating, at worst you're checking your phone, or you're not showing up consistently, or you're being negative, like all of those things reflect poorly on the school. You've got to find a way to let the admin know that it's within their best interests.

That they're sending somebody exciting excited about this proposition. And there will be somebody on campus who is excited about it. Right? Not all duties are equal. We don't all enjoy the same thing. I've said it time and time again. I only ever wanted to sign up for adjunct duties where I was with you.

Students. And I would work with them. So tutoring, you know, drama club, you know,  I put on a digital planetarium, like all those things for me were amazing. I love to spend time with students, especially if they were former students that I didn't get to see every day. Love it. I had a teammate who, at the end of the day, couldn't wait to literally go home and wash student germs off his clothes.

True story. And, you know, didn't want one more minute with students at the end of the day. So, for him, unpacking the curriculum standards. Beautiful. He would love that. Like, good for him. Not for me, right? There's a duty for everybody. Don't ever have me coaching sports. I'm a like, everybody wins kind of person.

I'm not gonna  You do not want me coaching sports or Wobbitide trying to referee sports. I don't know the, the rules. And like I said, I want everyone to win. So that's, that's not a mindset that's going to work for sports. Okay.  So  let's recap. If it is a duty that is adjacent to your job, right? And, or it's just automatically assumed that you're going to do it, give as much notice as you can. 

Let them know that you will help with the succession planning, like helping the next person be successful. And use the yes with limitation strategy. Yes and. Yes, I'll do it because it is technically part of my job. And here's the things I'll need, right? And, or, if you are in the middle of the year with an adjunct duty that was not part of your job, it was something that, you know, a lot of districts have this mandate, you know, you have to pick up an additional 15 hours or 20 hours a year. 

That always ends up being more than that, but with some  other duty, right, and you get into it and it is really wearing you out, frustrating you, bringing you down, causing you stress and overwhelm, right, then it is perfect. There is nothing to say you have to do it all year. That's when you go and just make some plain statements.

My situation has changed. I changed my mind.  It's the duty is not what I thought it would be.  Offer to help the next person be successful.  But, and let it be known you're happy to take up something else. It has nothing to do with you being lazy and not wanting to work the hours. You want to work the hours with things that fill you up,  not with things that deplete you.

Okay, hopefully all of that helps if it just is playing, you know, I will do another episode on the five strategies of saying no to adjunct duties in a professional student focused way. I will do that towards the end of summer because that's usually, you know, that first week of school. When you get roped into all those things, whatever the school system is, but this is specifically about duties it's just assumed you're going to do.

All right, hopefully that was helpful.  I believe in you. I am proud of you for investing in your own  personal development so that you can be the best version of yourself, not just for your family and your students, but for yourself because you deserve that. I truly believe that. And until next time, remember create your own path and bring your own sunshine.