Transforming Sexual Encounters with Honest Communication

Ever questioned how to have fulfilling sexual communication in your relationship? Join me, Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin, as we uncover the essential elements that make sexual experiences both pleasurable and consensual. From discussing values, beliefs, and expectations to establishing boundaries and staying honest about sexual preferences, we tackle the vital conversations that need to happen before committing to a relationship. We'll explore practical advice on enhancing sexual pleasure through emotional connection, varied exploration, and open communication. Together, we'll challenge harmful cultural misconceptions around ownership and consent, stressing the importance of mutual respect and agreement in every sexual encounter.

The power of foreplay cannot be understated, and this episode places a spotlight on its role in building mutual attraction and deepening intimacy. Through engaging activities like kissing, touching, caressing, fingering, and oral stimulation, discover how anticipation and arousal can transform the sexual experience. We'll discuss how fully arousing your partner not only makes penetration more enjoyable but also strengthens your emotional connection. Tune in for valuable insights to enrich your relationship and ensure that every sexual encounter is a shared and fulfilling experience.

Chapters

• 0:00 Sexual Communication and Consent in Relationships
• 13:36 Foreplay and Building Mutual Attraction

Transcript

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 0:00

Hello everyone, welcome. My name is Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin, and I am your captain and host on today's episode, episode 12. In our last episode, I talked about the power of self-worth. If you have not listened to that, please go on any podcasting platform like Apple Podcast, YouTube Podcast, Deezer, Podchaser and lots more. Search for the Discussion Day podcast by Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin, and voila, you have it. You can listen to all of my previous episodes and subscribe to be the first to know whenever I publish my next episode. Be the first to know whenever I publish my next episode. Now, today's topic is about sex S-E -X. So if you are with your kids or any underage child, please grab your headphones and if you are underage, please do not proceed with this podcast. Okay? Please do not listen to this podcast. It's for Adults. Now let's proceed.

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 1:04

What is Sex? Sex is a natural biological function and a significant aspect of human relationships. It involves physical intimacy and can be an act of love, connection and attraction between partners. However, it is also a complex subject that encompasses emotional, psychological and social dimensions. Discussions a couple must have concerning sex before dating or getting married are as follows (1) Values and Beliefs - Couples must discuss values regarding sex, including any religious or cultural beliefs that may influence their views. (2) Expectations - Couples must talk about what each partner expects from the sexual relationship, including frequency, intimacy and emotional connection. (3) Boundaries- Couples must establish clear boundaries regarding physical affection, premarital sex and all other related topics, to ensure both parties feel comfortable and respected. (4) Health and safety- Couples must discuss sexual health, including STI testing, contraception and consent. It's essential to prioritize safety and mutual respect.

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 2:36

(5) Desires and Preferences- Share preferences for physical intimacy, what you enjoy and what you might want to explore together. (6)

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 2:45

Six communication Couples must agree on how they communicate about sex throughout their relationship(1) or Emotional marriage Connection- improve intimacy and understanding. Now, how can sex be pleasurable? How can you make(2) Exploration pleasurable-Couples One emotional connection, or emotional connection Building a strong emotional bond can enhance physical pleasure as it promotes trust and vulnerability. Two exploration Couples should feel free to explore each other's bodies, preferences and fantasies in a comfortable, respectful and consent-based manner

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 3:30

. ( and (5)

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 3:31

3. Foreplay Engaging in foreplay can increase arousal, enhance overall sexual experience. 4. Variety Trying different techniques, positions and settings can keep the experience even more exciting. Five communication during intimacy Giving and receiving feedback about what feels good can improve sexual intimacy and satisfaction. v y t..

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 4:01

So in that aspect, before sex, there must be consent. Before sex, you must communicate. During sex, you must communicate. After sex, you must communicate. You must give yourself feedback. Okay, do not just lie down on the bed like a log of wood. You have to talk about it. Talk, you know.

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 4:24

If you feel that your partner is not touching you at your G-spot, lovingly, direct his or her hands the right position or the right place. Whisp into each other's ears that you like it, you like you like what she's doing or what she's doing or you don't like it. You know there has to once communication during is paid , consent is key. There has to be mutual. If there categorized as rape.

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 5:01

the moment they get married anyone, they own that person, and that is wrong. That is a fallacy. You do not own like, literally own your partner. When you, when you get married to them, like in Africa, once there's marriage done, they believe that they bought you on the spade. offence They that they you bought you. They believe that the bride price is like buying buying the wife and, as a matter of fact, the wife has no say about partner body during marriage.

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 5:37

If have to keep you know. You should not deny each other of physical pleasure. But also you have to receive consent If your partner says no. No is no. You do not strip your partner. You do not rape your partner. You do not force yourself on your partner. If you do that, that is rape and it's actually an offense that you can get locked up. You means Stop get prosecuted and charged . Communicating if found guilty, you could be jailed for that. So respect your partner's rights, respect your partner's. There has to be consent.

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 6:14

You, if you feel that your partner's methodology or approach is not what Lady you enjoy, you have to let your partner know. Okay, baby, slow down. Okay, baby, you know I don't like Women like this. Slow down, you're rushing. Okay, you're too hard, you're hurting me. There has Sex?

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 6:54

be communication. Okay, I like it. Yes, okay, kiss me. Okay, stop. Stop is stop. Okay, go on communicating and respecting boundaries. T t the and t

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 7:09

sex during your periods as a lady, let your partner know. If you enjoy sex during periods and you want it, let your partner know. Why do married women feel that at the slightest argument they have with their husbands, they have to deprive them of sex. That is wrong. I think A sexless marriage is up for divorce. is If you do not like sex before marriage, you have to communicate this to your partner. The partner has to know, because any withdrawal of information, with you any deprivation of information before marriage and after marriage will makes that marriage null and void. Have an issue. So, for example, if you do not like sex and you do not tell your partner and you trick him or her into getting married to you and during marriage you deprive your partner of sex constantly, your partner can actually file for a divorce.

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 8:25

A marriage should not be sexless. A marriage should not be sexless. partners, a fundamental element of marriage and and you cannot run away are, what not like sex, it's either you stay away from relationships or you or you communicate it with your partner. If your if partner feels that it's something that they can with, all well and good. He or she would stay with you and you important, will work it out together. And if make your partner feels that they can work with, all well and good, he or she would stay with you and they will work it out. You guys will work it out to lead to that he or she cannot do without sex and he or she cannot manage, then they are free to walk away. w

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 9:00

It's very you also to discuss your health issues with your partners Okay, what your sexual orientation what your health issues with your partners? Okay, what's your sexual orientation is, what your health condition . use of condoms, very essential or you do not want to use condoms, if you both of you want under any to go for STI testings to, I 100% support is very important Talk about it before you start and make sure that you guys get checked regularly If you want to make your relationship open or you want to make it closed, talk about it. If you want the relationship you think that you're expecting marriage afterwards, talk about it. If you do not want to get Fiancé talk about it. Your Fiancee should be aware or you don't know what to have kids, talk about it.

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 9:48

These are very, very important information that partners must discuss ... your tell your earner from want a to p something n s know serious ipartner formationhould statement sfrom is and . I ask for your understanding on this topic, but it's very important I mention this. So if you have ever been raped as a man or as a woman, or you've ever been raped either sex category you belong to I advise you to discuss this with your partner before getting married. I understand how serious and delicate this topic is rape and I know that no matter how many therapeutic sessions you've gone and , it still cannot 100% erase that memory. That's how serious rape is. hopefully, if you have ever been raped, I advise you to discuss this with your fiancé before getting married. It's important your fiancé is aware, because deprivation of such information from your partner will head to doom. Your partner should be informed.

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 11:10

You have to explain the best way possible to your partner. You have to tell your partner, because certain information cannot just you cannot hide certain information from your partner. So if you explain this to your partner, or you tell your partner this information, he or she should not use it against you. The reason and the essence of discussing this with your partner before marriage is for your partner to understand where you're coming from and to be kind to you, to be patient with you when it comes to sexual scenarios, because rape comes with trauma. Rape comes with various scenes, various flashbacks which can affect sex. So if you tell your partner this, hopefully your partner is not judgmental. Your partner is caring. Your partner is a loving person. Your partner is a considerate person. Your partner will be able to work together with you to make sex more pleasurable.

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 12:21

If you have been, what do you call this word? If you have been, I've forgotten the word I'll come back to it, but I can probably explain what I actually wanted to say. But if you have been Sex, yet mutilated, that is, if your hymen has been cut off you have to let your partner know. Because sexually mutilated, that is, if your hymen has been cut off, you have to let your partner know. Because sexually mutilated persons do not enjoy sex, do not even feel any sensation during sex. It's very important for you to let your partner know this information as well. Okay, if you have any phobia for sex, if you have any fear concerning sex, you have to let your partner know this as well. Phobia for sex if you have any fear concerning sex, you have to let your partner know this as well.

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 13:04

Now, during sex, you have to communicate. Don't just lie down like a log of wood. Direct your partner. If you love to be caressed on your boobs, lead your partner's hands to your breasts. Show him how to fondue your breasts. Some men just squeeze boobs like they're squeezing fabrics. You don't squeeze a person's boobs to the point like you want to rip it off. You have to fondle your wife's or your girlfriend's boobs with care, fondle it, caress it gently.

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 13:36

Before the actual penetration. There has to be lovemaking, there has to be foreplay, there has to be some kissing, there has to be some touching, there has to be love making, there has to be foreplay, there has to be some kissing, there has to be some touching, there has to be some caressing, there has to be some fingering, there has to be some sucking and licking and you know all that nice things. Before the actual penetration. It makes it easier. So penetrating is not just sex entirely, but whole foreplay.

Anthonia Oluwabunmi Uddin: 14:02

The mutual attraction is the foundation, the chemistry is the foundation. And then the foreplay makes it all better. It sets the woman in the mood, it makes her wet and ready for the actual penetration. By the time you caress each other and kiss each other and fondle each other and lick each other and suck each other, then by the time in fact, the lady will be begging for the actual penetration. She will be the one telling you I want you, yes, go in, I'm ready. You know she's already already wet, she has come already like twice and you you yourself, as a man, you would you would know when your woman is ready for the actual penetration. So, guys, I say thank you for joining. God bless you.