I think a lot about what's going to happen when my mother passes away because he'll be so lonely. And he will need support, and but at the same time, like I said, he still picks on me like a little brother or like kid. And so it's like, I have to have boundaries but also, I need to help him. And so like, I don't know the answer to that yet. But I'm, I'm hashing it out.
Welcome to Special Needs Mom's Circle of Strength podcast.
I'm here today with my guest, Shelley Guess, who is a licensed professional counselor and PhD candidate in Las Colinas, Texas. She's been working as a therapist for over a decade and is the owner and founder of Hope Connects Counseling, PLLC, a mental health group private practice. She is also the owner of Hope Connects Consulting, a mental health consulting firm. Shelley is the youngest sister of Brian Guess, an amazing man diagnosed with IDD. And IDD stands for intellectual delay disorder.
So welcome, Shelley. I'm so glad to have you on the show today.
Thank you. I'm very excited to be here. Thank you for having me.
Oh, you're so very welcome. Shelley, I start off with asking all my guests, what's a unique thing about you?
A unique thing about me. I always used to get so tripped up on this question when I was asked these and these like ‘getting to know you’ mixers. And as I've been a therapist, I found that one of the unique things about me that I'm extremely grateful for is that I figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up really early on. And so early on for me at this point in life is like in early college. But I wanted to declare my major is psychology. I knew that I wanted to be a therapist. And I very quickly realized I didn't just want to be a therapist, but I wanted to be on the academic side. I wanted to teach and research. And now flash forward all of these years later, sitting in the counseling office and talking to my clients, who hate their jobs or their inner career that they don't love and isn't fulfilling. I’ve realized how unique it is to look and see, hey, this is what I want to do. And that's where I'm going and to get there and to know this is my passion. And so I realized how unique it is and really how fortunate I am that I very clearly had that goal and direction from an early age. And your work is so impactful on your well-being. And you do it 40 hours a week. Right. And so, if you don't love what you do, it's very difficult. And so, I've come to see one how unique that is. And it's really given me a lot of gratitude for that. I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.
All right. That's amazing. I was fortunate to at the age of 13, I decided that I wanted to be a physical therapist. Now, back then, it was a remedial gymnast, which is similar to physiotherapy or physical therapy, but it was more sort of group orientated. So, I felt very fortunate that at 13, I kind of knew which direction I was going in and what I wanted to do. And I was fortunate as well in the fact that my first year was a remedial gymnast and then my second year they merged with physiotherapists. So my year was actually the first to graduate from that school as physical therapists. So…
Congratulations.
Yes. So, I was very blessed. And so I certainly can appreciate that how you're feeling. And I always said, if you have to work, it's got to be fun. Because as you say, 40 hours a week, that's a lot of hours in a week to be putting into something that you're not enjoying.
Exactly. Completely agree.
Yes. So, Shelly, you're not a mom of a child with disabilities, but the world of disabilities is up close and personal for you. So tell us about your special needs journey.
Yeah, absolutely. So my special needs journey is I'm actually the sibling to special needs adult, do not have special needs. And it's funny because as I'm saying this, one of the things that really stands out as a sibling a person with special needs is some of the gratitude slash guilt that we feel for being the one who didn't have special needs. The one is fully functioning. Yeah. Yeah. I can only speak for myself in my conversations with other friends that I have who are also the siblings of the special needs child. It's a sense of, wow, why, why wasn't it me?
I'm the one who is struggling with this and, you know, kind of a sense of the right word for it almost kind of responsibility. Like I was really fortunate, my parents were amazing. My golly, we could probably spend the entire time talking about how amazing my parents were and are. Because one of the things that was unique about me as a sibling, is that first, it's just me and my brother, so I'm the only sibling, which that is a dynamic that is different than there being multiple siblings; and there's one, but I'm the only sibling; is that my brother's older than me. He's about three years older. And with IDD, my parents were able to observe that there was there was something off. And mother, she hasn't shared a ton about this, but she has shared some around the age of two or so my mom and dad were able to observe that Brian just wasn't quite developing the way that he should have been. And I was born, I’m three years younger, so I was born soon after that. And so, if you can imagine with IDD, he only cognitively, academically and socially developed to around the age of anywhere from like 10 to 13 is kind of what I would gauge it at.
Right.
And so I was born in that I'm the younger sibling. And so for a lot of my younger formative years, my parents could observe that there's something off that I was younger than him. So he didn't seem special needs to me. You know, he doesn't look, you know, he doesn't present physically with any disabilities. If we were walking in public, nobody would think that there was something there. And he was a pretty appropriate in his behaviors up until a certain point. And so while I was told your brother has got these struggles, I didn't really grasp or understand that he was different until much later in life. It was like I knew it like he was in special ed programs, but we attended the same school, but he went to special ed classes, but not all. Some he was in the regular classes. So it was like being told this thing is there, but he was still my annoying older brother and I was still his annoying little sister. And I didn't really realize, you know, what was different because I didn't have another sibling to watch. I didn't have another sibling to discuss it with. And my parents tried to be very protective of life not being impacted by what was happening with him. So I was more protective and tried to almost shelter me a little bit, which, you know, pros and cons to that, I think, but more, I don't know, like this is the funny thing is that to me I still in the journey. I was listening to a podcast yesterday as a matter of fact, in a different arena, and the guest said something along the lines of you can't read the jar when you're inside the jar. Like you can’t read the label on a jar while you're inside the jar. And I was like, wow, that's such a powerful statement. And there's some places where I'm still inside the jar. And it won't be for another several years, 10 years, 20 years that I look back and I go, wow, that's another place I was impacted.
I will say that the place that it finally felt like it slapped me upside the head, that maybe our family was different, or maybe my brother could have impacted me in some way, was I was in college, and maybe a freshman in college. And so this is out of high school. This is late teens, early 20s. I had a friend who grew up with me and through my high school years, and we got into it with something like I mean, we were, we were, I don't know what was going on. But her mom, a special needs teacher. And she told me she she kind of spat it at me. She said, well, you're I don't remember exactly how she phrased it, but the thrust of what she said to me is that you're the way you are because your brother special needs, we get it. And I was like, what does that even mean? And she said, my mom sees it all the time in families. Like you don't get as much attention because of your brother. And I was like, I will never forget that moment because I had never considered anything in my family different. And from somebody on the outside to throw something like that at me, and her mom was in the special needs community; like it was it was very jarring for me. And it really was the first time I took a step back and said, how has this impacted me? Am I this, you know, and her
family was a bit arrogant, you know, so I just kind of also considered the source, there's, you know, kind of some pride, and a bit of, you know, kind of some different things that maybe were happening within that family that I didn't need to carry that.
Right.
But, yeah, so it was, it's been more in my later adulthood, after the passing of my father, a couple of years ago, that I feel like my special needs journey has very much changed; because I'm stepping in more as a caregiver, even with my mom there, than I ever realized.
Wow. Well, thank you for sharing. That's some interesting insights that you bring up. First of all, you feeling that why was it my brother and why wasn't it me, and just feeling that need to sort of connect and feel a part of what he's going through. So I find that interesting. And as you bring that up, I have two children, my oldest is 22, my youngest is 19. My oldest has special needs, born with cerebral palsy, we had a prolapse cord. So right from the big get go, we knew that there was going to be disabilities to deal with. This child's in a wheelchair, G tube, fed uses a communication device, so totally dependent for all care. Our youngest, we didn't realize that there was anything going on until they were diagnosed with ADHD, which would probably come around grade five, grade six. And then later, two years ago, we actually got a diagnosis of high functioning autism. But I recall, when the youngest was younger, I'm thinking, it's almost like they want to have a disability. And so now that you say that, I can kind of see where that would come from. And I find that actually fascinating and didn't pick up on that as a sort of a need to sort of feel to be able to empathize and connect with and it's a way of connecting. I don't know if I'm getting that right or not.
Maybe I don't know. And that's where it's again, so unique for each sibling, I think in each family dynamic, like, I think and that's part of me highlighting that my brother's so different. And that his disability wasn't really demonstrative for me until I was older, because I never saw him as special needs. Like, you can imagine being five years old, and your brother's eight, and he's he's still presenting appropriately for an eight year old, and I'm five, like, I just know he's my, a big brother. And so I never felt, I can never remember a moment where I felt like I needed to be impaired in order to get attention from my parents. It was never like that. I never felt that way. As a matter of fact, I can remember early, early memories of my mother taking my brother to tutoring, like academic tutoring. And when we went to academic tutoring for Brian, that meant I had to go play on the playground with my mom. So this is where my parents are so amazing is that they really did a good job of trying to normalize my brother's life as much as possible. He was a wrestler in high school. They did as much as they could to give him quote, the college experience. You know, he attended some community college courses. And I don't know if he realized that they were technically for disabled persons. I don't, I don't know if he really grasped that. And I'll be honest, I'm not totally sure if he completely grasps what's going on with him at all. But I think that's one of the things that I'm most proud of watching is the way that my parents really tried to like, he drives a car, he's able to drive, he's held a job for 20 years. And it's I think, yeah, I know, and it's because my parents are amazing. And I'm very proud of them. I didn't have this sense of we're different. It didn't come until I was in college, and I'm sitting at my college graduation, and we're going to dinner or speaking lunch afterwards. And everybody scatters from the table. And it's just me and my brother. And this is like one of those really sad moments. He looked at me and he said, “Do you think I'll ever go to college?”
Aw
I know. And I just, I didn't know what to say. And it's like, those are the moments that he only goes there with me when no one else is around. There was a moment when I was in high school. And this is another one of those eye-opening moments where I was like, whoa, he came into my room and he was upset. And I said, Brian, what's wrong? And I don't remember how old he was, I think he may have been early high school somewhere around this time, maybe a little bit older now that I'm thinking about it. He looked at me and goes, “Mom told me I'll never be an astronaut.” Yeah. And so like, again, like my brother, I don't know how much he grasps and conceptualize things. And that's been a small sticky point, nothing to write home about, but something that I've asked my mom now that my dad has passed away, And it's just us, “Mom, does Brian really understand what's going on here?” Because he's going to need me more than maybe he knows. But at the same time, I know he knows he needs me. So, the siblings can sometimes hear the things that they don't say to their parents.
Right.
And those moments are heartbreaking. And you just and you just have to take it a step at a time and how you navigate responding honestly, but compassionately.
So some of these things that your brother is able to share with you, are these things that you feel you can share with your mom? Or is this something that you you've decided to keep for your heart?
That's a good question. I think I think some of these things, I didn't necessarily go run it immediately tell them that. But I later on would let them know, you know, I would come up in conversation and just one of the things about my family is that we're not exactly the most emotionally open with each other. You know, that's such a as a therapist, that's been such an interesting thing to look back on my family unit and kind of unpack some of just the family dynamics with or without my brother, you know. But I think each one of those moments at some point, I have told my mom that happened.
And but it wasn't, I didn't feel like it was something I needed to go tell them. But those are just kind of those like little moments between myself and my brother, that they don't know exist. And that, you know, I sometimes it's almost like I wouldn't want to put that on them. They already care so much.
Right, right. I just want to commend you that you are giving a huge shout out to your parents. And Brian is obviously very blessed to have had parents that are very invested in him. And so I just have a quick question for you. It's not sounding like it. But did you ever feel left out in your home growing up?
No, I didn't. No, I didn't. It's I mean, it is it's that confident and simple. Now, I my parents were at every soccer game. They showed up to every band concert. They were there when they dropped me off at Texas Tech for my undergrad. And they were there at my graduate school graduation. It's they showed up for me. And they told me I could do anything I wanted. And it didn't just say it, they did it in action as well. And so while showing up for Brian and I may have looked different, they showed up. And so there was never, you know, and it's it, Brian and I were bickering about something like siblings do. And that's that is the hard thing about being an adult with a brother who's still a child basically is that we still, I like I have these moments like you're the adult Shelley. Like, because he will he still has me as little sis on his phone, which I think is funny and cute at the same time and also like… he still will interact with me as a child and it can bring that child part of me out. And I will want to engage with him like a teenager and that's he's the only person in my life who can do that that way. And so but anyways, I kind of digressing back to what I was trying to say is that you know, when we bicker, sometimes it was me who started it and I got more in trouble. Sometimes he started it and sometimes both of us got sent to our rooms. You know, so it was I never felt like you know, the punishments or the discipline was angled in a certain way it was they did a good job of really trying to keep it balanced appropriately.
Love that. All right. So Shelley, did you ever feel that your sibling would become your responsibility later in life?
My brother is my responsibility later in life.
Yeah.
I don't feel it. I know.
That just is what it is.
Some persons with special needs have a lot more community support. They have a lot more resources in terms of what's out there. And I think the hardest thing about the phrase and the term special needs is how big the umbrella is. It just captures all this. And my brother is so unique. He's functioning and independent in some spaces. And however, he's not independent in others. And so I took him, my mom and I took him to this really amazing group that's here in the Dallas Fort Worth area. And it's essentially a group that they will take special needs adults and take them to, you know, the arboretum, they take them to concerts, they take them places and it's to try and give them community within themselves, but also to try to give caretakers a break. And so I was like, wow, this could be an amazing opportunity for my brother to meet some new people because he wants to get he wants to get married. He talks about how he'll never have kids and so I took him and I said, Brian, if at any point you don't want to be here, I will come pick you up. I will get you, you're just trying something new. And he left and he did want to get picked up early. So we drove out and we went and got him. And he said, Shelley, it's almost like they took they treated me like a handicap. And yeah, and it was because he's not in a wheelchair. He doesn't need all that assistance. He's functioning at just enough level that he was I'm not them. And at one point, he said to my mom, “Mom, am I like that?” And so we've had this really weird space of there isn't a place that he really fits.
Right.
And so he gives me a essentially kind of a to do list every time he sees me of things that he wants help with because he doesn't trust my mom to help him with it. And
I don't know, I think a lot about what's going to happen when my mother passes away because he'll be so lonely. And he will need support and but at the same time, like I said, he still picks on me like a little brother or like a kid. And so it's like, I have to have boundaries but also, I need to help him. And so like, I don't know the answer to that yet. But I'm, I'm hashing it out.
But, I don't know, like I just, I personally believe in God, I believe that there is a higher power. And I trust and believe that if this is what God has, this is where I am at, then God will equip whatever that's gonna look like. And I do firmly believe that.
Yes, yes. I thank you for your vulnerability, Shelley. And I'm thinking as you're talking about sort of future care, what that's going to look like for Brian. And I'm just thinking about our own situation. So we're six years in now with our 22 year old. And we have set her up in her forever home, as we call it. So it was our family home because it's wheelchair accessible. And where we live, there's not a huge amount of wheelchair accessible homes to purchase. And trying to build one, there's not enough land space now because the land space that is for sale, where builders are building, tends to be smaller and you they're basically building two story homes.
So we were able to create, Melody Anne is her name, Melody Anne's forever home. So what we've done is we've created our own group home. Because as you're saying, as I'm listening to you talking, you know, Brian's in a space that's not necessarily catered for. And there's no sort of set, necessarily, services for him. So we basically looked at our situation and we created what we needed for our child. So we've set up her forever home. She has two other young ladies living with her with disabilities. And we have an agency providing 24-hour care. And so I'm not saying that that is for everybody. It's not, I get that. But for us, we kind of had to look at that picture and okay, there's there's a gap here. And especially for children in wheelchairs. And I get the idea that, you know, there's lots of programming and things for people that have a more severe disability. But for the invisible disability, there's not a whole lot. So now we fast forward to our youngest child who has an invisible disability. And she has, as I mentioned, ADHD, high functioning autism. And so I'm not exactly sure what it's going to look like for her. But what I have recognized is that there's not a whole lot of programming for people like her. And there's not a whole lot of housing for people like her. So what we've done here now is created a space in our house that is an independent suite. They're not ready to move in there yet. So we've actually had to rent it out. We've rented it out to a young Christian couple who just got married. And so but that space is there for our child when they're ready. And so I all of this to say that sometimes when the thing is not there that we're looking for that we know would be the best thing. And not everybody has the ability to create it. But I just want to say to our audience, sometimes we might just need to create what it is that we're looking for. And there's help. Right. And it's not like this was something that we did on our own. There were certainly people we chatted with, people that have walked the walk already. So I love the fact that you're considering what Brian's future is going to look like. And I just want to say that you don't have to do that alone.
I appreciate that. And I appreciate that. That's that is a hard thing. Because I think that's where you know, I mentioned earlier, the dynamic of meeting the only sibling, who else is going to step in, and I don't have a lot of cousins, our family is not a big family. We're kind of my generation, my brother and I and our cousins, a lot of us are kind of the last generation of both sides of our family. And so there is family support for sure. But it's not like maybe other larger families. But all of the things that you're talking about are such amazing ideas and things that I have have crossed my mind. Like one of the things that my dad, my dad just did such a good job of the finances and how to structure things to take care of the family too. And he made it clear to me, he's kind of sat me down and said, Shelley, our will is set up that Brian gets the house and that you know, I'm totally fine with that. Of course, first, it's just the gift to your house, you get to do what you want with that house. Second, please give it to Brian.
And because it's I know he has someplace, but he lives 30 minutes away from me. So do we sell it and I move him closer to me? Like, you know, it's just kind of working through how do I make sure that some of his social relational needs are seen and met too, because in that we're in that window he's in, it's hard for him to make friends.
Yeah,
Cos he's just functioning enough, but not quite enough at the same time.
So I don't know, but I appreciate that because I've had the thought like how maybe we can move somebody in with them. Maybe we can this… not quite there yet and having to nail it down. But what you're sharing is really helpful. Thank you.
Yeah, no worries. And I bring it up because a lot of families need to be thinking of this ahead of time. Unfortunately, for us, we were pretty much in crisis when we had to make those decisions and Melody-Anne was only 16. So the mom guilt was huge. The mom guilt was huge. But looking back now, we're thankful that we did what we did. And I do have to say with regards to the social aspect, this child has had to use her communication device way more than she ever did when we were living with her because as mom and dad, we could anticipate what her needs were. She'd just have to say one word on a communication device and then we'd be like, Oh, is this what you're looking for? This is what you want to do? So living with people that don't know her as well, working with staff that don't know her as well, she's had to step up using her communication device and she's done an amazing job. And the other thing that's huge for us as well is she gets to go places that I've never been in our city.
She gets to go away with her housemates once a year, they go to a place called William Watson Lodge, which is in Kananaskis country, just outside of Calgary, Alberta, where I live. And she, yeah, they get to go glamping, it's called,
they've got these amazing cabins, and they just revamped them all. So it's not like you're in a rustic kind of a cabin, you're in like, dishwasher type cabin.
I love those cabins.
Yeah. So I love the fact that within this forever home that we've created, we have the staff that are able to take these kids out and about get them seen, they're visible in the community. And so for us, that's been huge. So we can just be parents, we can just go and be mom and dad when we go visit. And that's been an amazing thing for us.
No, that's awesome. I love that. And that's encouraging. Thank you. Like, I know that I'm in the states. And so some of, I'm wondering, my brain is already thinking ahead, like, you know, what kind of resources do they have? What kind of support could we find in that? And I think that's the biggest thing that my heart breaks for with my brother is relationship, he's extremely relational, and avenues to help him to find real connections with people, real abilities to do that, because I can create and afford some of that, but I just can't be all of it. Then that's good for him and me, quite frankly.
And so how do I help facilitate that? And our efforts to do so have not worked out quite yet. So I that's, it's encouraging, and it makes me think, you know, maybe like, what does it look like for us to be able to find that in our, in our location?
Hmm. Hmm.
All right. Did growing up with a sibling with disabilities, Shelley, how has that impacted your career? Did it have an impact on your career choice?
I don't think so. You know, it's funny, like, you shared with me that you were curious about that. And I don't think so. But this is one of those inside the jar questions for me, is this one of those that I'll look up in 20 years, and I'll have, as I've done some more of the work on myself on the things between the things with my brother and how it's impacted my life, they'll go, Yes, actually, it did. Sitting here today, I don't think so.
Because it didn't, like I said, it didn't really kind of click that my brother being different, quote unquote, could impact my family until something got spat at me, some words were thrown at me in college. And so I didn't, you know, and I at that point, I knew I wanted to get into some of the counseling or psychology field. On the flip side, it actually in my moments when my, my brother's doing something, and I'm, I'm annoyed, and I am a licensed professional counselor, I own a business, I almost have a PhD, but I want to snap at him like a 15 year old. On the contrary, it makes me go, I am a therapist. Get it together, Shelley. It actually is more like, because you have the skills. He may not – relax! It actually just kind of maybe it helps me more.
It didn't increase going the other direction is helping me to be a better sister is what it's doing. No, I don't think so. But it's it does kind of help me to get a little bit more insight of how I can be maybe managing my own emotional responses a little bit better at times.
Love that. Thank you for sharing that. I'm just wondering, Shelley, do you have a particular heartwarming or uplifting moment that you've experienced as a sibling of a person with a disability?
Goodness, I could really probably come up with so many. My brother, and I think one of the beautiful things about persons with disabilities, and, you know, I understand that it depends on the person in a situation and such, but you there's just such a purity of heart.
Yeah.
And this may get me a little bit emotional, because I just I just value this so much and my brother and, you know, you look at somebody and go, wow, I, I have the functioning to be able to do all these things. But I also don't have the functioning to be that. And I just, I just see how beautiful and how innocent and how pure he can be in some places. And so the one that's gotten me recently, I don't know where my brother got on this kick, but he has. Like, he loves those claw machines, you know, like pick up the toy or the stuffed animal. This is what he's been doing. Like, listen to this. This is not what I'm doing, this is what my brother is doing. He has been going to the different arcades and different places where they have these claw machines. And he's been playing these games, and getting all and collecting all of these stuffed animals so that he can take them to the homeless shelters and take them to the different, like, places so that the children can have them there. And he's got bags, we're talking like bags full of all of these stuffed animals. And so we have a child and adolescent therapist on my team, and he texted me, he's like, Shelley, Shelley, no, no he says “Sis, Sis, that’s what he says “Sis, Sis”. He was like, do you need stuffed animals for your office? Does your office need stuffed animals? And I was like, actually, we do need some stuffed animals. And so we have some of my brother's stuffed animals that we're using with our kids in the office. And, you know, he texted me several times, I'm like, right, we now we don't need any, we're really good now. But that's, it's just his passion. And he, he has a really strong faith, and he'll just talk to people about God and Jesus. And, you know, and it's things that I didn't think about going and donating a bunch of stuffed animals to the homeless shelter, so the children had clean, like stuffed animals to have and snuggle with, but my brother did. You know, so it's, I like, I was like, you got to let me get a picture of this. And I just, I just have them with bags of stuffed animals. So he's, he's amazing. He's, he really is.
Thank you so much. What a beautiful story. So Shelley, where can our audience go to find out more about you?
Yeah, sure. So, as you mentioned earlier, you know, I own a group Mental Health Private Practice in Los Colinas, Texas. We, so our website is Hope Connect Counseling. That's the name of the Mental Health Group Private Practice. And then I’m
also the owner and founder of Hope Connect Consulting, the Mental Health Consulting firm. And so our firm is staffed with kinds of Mental Health professionals across all different areas, who specialize in speaking, coaching, teaching. And so we, we offer all kinds of support. And like, one of my heart cries has been to like make mental health resources accessible to our communities. Maybe that is a space that my brother's impacted things, right? Whoo, hold on a second. Wait a second. Maybe so. How about that? Well, it's like, insight. So we take insurance, we do, we have low cost counseling options, we do pro bono speeches and presentations to just be able to provide information to our communities. And so both Zoom online and in-person as well. So we're, just we're passionate speakers and educators, as well as passionate about what we can do one on one in that counseling office. And I'm really proud of my team. If I had more time, I'd brag on them too. So yeah, you're welcome to, you know, find me on the website and reach out and I can be happy to share and answer any questions, whether it's with my therapist hat on, or if it's just me talking like a sibling, like I am today, I'm happy to share more of kind of what my experiences have been in this space.
Awesome. That's amazing. Thank you so much, Shelley. So before we conclude our conversation today, I'd love to hear some words of encouragement from you to parents out there who are raising children with special needs. What message of hope would you like to give them?
You're doing so well. You're doing so well. In that moment, and I see this, I think, you know, just with moms that I have sitting in the counseling office, children who are not talking about their parents in the counseling office, you're never going to get it right. One of my favorite things that somebody said to me one time is they were kind of processing something, is God was the perfect father and a third of the angels still fell. Yeah, it's we are creatures that are created with our own free wills. And that includes yourself and your special needs child and your other child. You're doing the best you can. And so long as the best you can is authentic, your all of your kids are going to see it. My parents, they messed up. They were not perfect. But what I carry with me is with the all of the effort and all of the things that they tried. And so you're doing great. It's just, it's a it can be a bit thankless and invisible sometimes. But there are people who see you.
Thank you so much for that. I really appreciate that. So parents out there listening know you are amazing. I totally echo what Shelly is saying, you are totally amazing. And I just want to remind you to live with intention and embrace the journey.
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