Creating a future with intention (I just love quotes... I have 5 for you!)

Creating a Future with Intention

Episode Summary: Welcome to today’s episode where we delve into the power of quotes and personal stories. Your host Valerie shares five impactful quotes, each followed by reflections and personal anecdotes that illustrate their significance.

Quotes Shared:

1. "You can't pour from an empty cup." - Anonymous
   • Emphasis on the importance of self-care and giving yourself permission to take a break.
2. "Alone, we can do so little. Together we can do so much." - Helen Keller
   • The power of community and the importance of accepting help and working together.
3. "The best way to predict the future is to create it." - Abraham Lincoln
   • The journey of creating a meaningful life for Melody-Anne, despite the challenges faced.
4. "Life doesn't get easier or more forgiving. We get stronger and more resilient." - Steve Maraboli
   • The reality of life's challenges and how we grow stronger and more capable over time.
5. "The only thing worse than being blind is having sight, but no vision." - Helen Keller
   • The importance of having a vision for the future and working towards it.

Main Topics:

• Self-Care: The necessity of taking care of oneself to be able to care for others. The episode begins with a reminder that it's not selfish to prioritize your own well-being.
• Community Support: Encouraging listeners to seek help and support from others. The host shares the importance of community and how specific help can make a significant difference.
• Creating a Future: A powerful story about the host's journey with Melody-Anne, highlighting the importance of proactive planning and vision. The host shares the inspiring tale of creating a thriving living situation for Melody-Anne and her housemates.
• Resilience and Strength: Life's challenges will continue to arise, but our ability to handle them improves as we grow stronger and more resilient. This segment is underscored with a quote from Steve Maraboli.
• Vision and Intention: The final quote from Helen Keller wraps up the episode with a reminder of the importance of having a vision for the future and the fulfillment that comes from realizing it.

Special Announcement: During July and August, the podcast will be on a bi-weekly schedule. Episodes will be uploaded every other week, so stay tuned for more inspiring content.

Call to Action: Listeners are encouraged to reach out if they want to learn more about how the host created a future for Melody-Anne. The episode closes with a heartfelt message to "Live with Intention - Embrace the Journey."

Thank you for tuning in. We hope this episode leaves you inspired and uplifted. See you in two weeks!


Music Acknowledgement: Audio Coffee - Denys Kyshchuk


Editor: Scott Arbeau

Link for book: The S.H.I.N.E. Principle: The special needs mom's path to strength, hope and happiness by Valerie Arbeau

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B0CW18ZXGX   (Canada)

https://a.co/d/03hFdZI4 (United States)

Note to Listeners: If you enjoyed this episode, please share and review

Here's a community for special needs moms to share, uplift and learn from each other...
https://www.facebook.com/groups/specialneedsmomscircleofstrength

Learn more about your host at:
https://coachingwithvalerieanne.com/

Transcript

Hello and welcome everyone. I'm glad that you're here checking in. I'm happy to be here and talk with you. First of all, I want to share a few quotes because quotes I find are so inspiring, can be so uplifting, and very succinctly can say a lot of things.

 So let's get into it. I've got five for you today.

 “You can't pour from an empty cup.”

 Take care of yourself first. And that's from an anonymous person.

 We all know this, but it's so hard to do. Giving yourself permission to take a break, doing something for yourself. That's not selfish.

How many of you would encourage a friend who's stressed out and not coping? How many of you would encourage them to take some time to chill? My goodness, you'd probably offer to take care of their kids so that they could have a break.

 So, I'm just saying, give yourself the same grace.

 Next quote, "Alone, we can do so little. Together we can do so much." And that's Helen Keller.

 Seriously, people want to help us. Truly, we don't have to do this journey alone.

 So, I want you to think about getting specific about how someone can help you and you can play to their strengths.

 So, if someone's not a great cook, you don't really want to assign them a night to bring over a home cooked meal.

 Get into community. And if you can't find what you want or what you need, then create it.

 Sometimes community can be just one person.

 There's so many ways to connect now in this modern era and this technological age.

 Number three: This quote's by Abraham Lincoln.

 "The best way to predict the future is to create it."

When I first started on this journey with Melody-Anne, I was barely getting through each day coping with the oxygen, the G-tube feeds, the wheelchair, medications, doctor's appointments, therapy appointments, and on and on. And that's not even taking into consideration taking care of a home and nurturing a relationship with a significant other.

Now I wanted Melody Anna to experience as much of life as possible.

When she was born, we were given a prognosis of one year. So that first year we were going to do anything and everything we could to give this child a great experience of life.

So, this meant getting her out and about in the community. It meant letting the teachers know at school that Melody-Anne was at school to learn so that she could be challenged. She wasn't there to be babysat. So, as you can tell, she lived past that first year and we're just so thankful and grateful.

We discovered that Melody-Anne loves to perform and we probably discovered that towards the end of elementary school.

So we asked the agency that now provides care to her to organize a talent show for all the other residents of the different homes that they manage. And guess what? Now it's an annual thing!

Number four: Life doesn't get easier or more forgiving. We get stronger and more resilient. Steve Maraboli.

I love this quote because it's so real. It's so true.

Our circumstances often do not get any easier. We get tougher and better able to handle what's coming because we know something will be coming. Some new challenge always finds its way into our life. Always!

And the last quote I have for you today is, "The only thing worse than being blind is having sight, but no vision."

And that's Helen Keller again. 

The only thought I had for the future was that I would be caring for Melody-Anne until I died.

It took a while to get to a place where I questioned, "Is this what I really want?"

My husband and I started thinking about and dreaming about and exploring, what Melody-Anne's future could actually look like.

And so, what we've created and what we have today is Melody-Anne living in a wheelchair accessible home, which was our family home.

And she lives there with two other housemates that have disabilities. So, one of them is very similar to Melody-Anne, wheelchair bound, G-tube fed, using a communication device. And the other one has a different diagnosis and is able to walk and is able to eat.

So, the three of these young ladies live together. We have an agency that provide 24-hour care for all three of them. And so, we have overnight care where someone is sleeping part of the night, but somebody is awake all night. We have it where we have a ratio of one to one.

Both of the two young ladies that are in wheelchairs need two people basically to administer their care. And so that's why it works really well to have a one-on-one. And I love the fact that it's a house with just three young ladies. Because as we get to more people, it starts to get more like group homey-type of a feel.

And this way with just the three of them, it still feels like a home.

So, we've been excited to have created this. I have to tell you, it was not an easy feat. And it took, actually we did it fairly quickly. It took about six months, six to eight months. We live in Canada, so we were able to have some funding to help pay for the caregivers.

 And the ladies themselves, they actually get a disability pension, I'm going to call it. And so that's how they pay their rent.

And so for us, it's been six years now. Seems like it's flown by, but it has been a beautiful thing to behold. All three of these young ladies are thriving. I'm going to say that again. All three of these ladies are thriving!

One of them has lost weight and kept weight off. She's come to a place where she can recognize that she doesn't have to eat all the time. And they've been able to schedule her eating, schedule her movement time. She goes swimming. She has a treadmill in the home. And so it's just been lovely to see her drop the weight, maintain the weight, and just see her just embrace being in the home. She walks up and down. She can get up and down the stairs, even though we've had a stair lift put in. Well, actually, we didn't have it put in, but the family had that put in. And then the other young lady, just to see her thriving, living independent of her parents, and it was her choice. And she's been able to bring that to fruition. It's so beautiful for her to have her wish.

And I have to say, all three of these young ladies are out and about in the community. They have done volunteer work. They still do. We've done volunteer work that includes cleaning up in the parks, picking up the litter.

We have been going to the food bank, dropping off food. We've had PALS, which is where there's a dog or a rabbit or whatever the animal may be. And so it's just been lovely to see these ladies thrive. They're getting out in the community. They're taking public transit. They are going to places that I have never been. Once a year, all three of them, with staff, go off and take a little mini break, a little vacation. We are blessed to have a place called William Watson Lodge, which is not too far from where we live. So the ladies go and they go glamping because these cabins are amazing that they stay in, they even have dishwashers!

So it's just been so beautiful to have started the journey of creating a future for Melody-Anne. And the beautiful thing for us is Scott and I can just go and be parents when we go to visit. I don't have to think about diaper changes, medication or is it time to change her position?

 I don't have to think about any of that. I can just go and sing. My husband can go and play music and we can just have fun together.

And the other beautiful thing is if anything were to happen to Scott and I, Melody-Anne's life would just continue. The staff know her very well. They know and understand her care. They appreciate my standards and they maintain them. And so her life would continue.

The only interruption would be that she wouldn't see us.

 So, I'm so glad that we took the time to create that future.

 And I'm happy to talk to anyone who would like to know a little bit more about how we made that happen.

 So, I'm going to love you and leave you.

Live with Intention - Embrace the Journey.

Oh, one more thing. Over the summer months for July and August, we will just be uploading a podcast episode every other week.

 So, keep tuning in. We will be chatting. We will be sharing. It'll just be every other week.