The Gift of Reflection: Cherishing Progress and Connection with your host

Join me, Coach Valerie, in this special Christmas episode of Special Needs Mom’s Circle of Strengthas I share insights on how reflection helps families celebrate both the small victories and significant milestones, fosters resilience, and strengthens emotional bonds. I’ll also share my family’s unique Christmas traditions, how we will incorporate reflection into our celebrations, and simple ways you can make reflection part of your holiday season as you pause, appreciate the journey, and create meaningful traditions.

Reflection isn’t just about looking back—it’s about finding balance, cultivating gratitude, and setting intentions for the future.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• How reflecting on small and big moments creates balance and perspective.
• Why celebrating progress—no matter how small—builds resilience and pride.
• Ways reflection strengthens family bonds and fosters emotional connection.
• Practical ideas for incorporating reflection into your family’s holiday traditions.
• How to use reflection to set intentions for a hopeful and purposeful new year.

Ideas to Try with Your Family:

• Holiday Journals: Create a journal to document favorite memories through writing or drawing.
• Memory Jars: Write down memorable moments throughout the year and revisit them together.
• Group Conversations: Share reflections or special memories during a meal or bedtime.
• Photo Reflections: Review photos from the year and reminisce about the moments they capture.
• Creative Keepsakes: Turn favorite photos into scrapbooks or slideshows to treasure as a family.

Key Takeaways:

• Reflection helps families acknowledge growth, celebrate accomplishments, and build gratitude.
• Sharing reflections fosters deeper connections and creates meaningful traditions.
• Small moments of joy, kindness, and connection are just as important as major milestones.
• Looking back helps families find hope, strength, and purpose as they move forward.

Closing Message:

As we wrap up this year and look ahead to 2025, remember that reflection is a gift. It’s not about perfection but about recognizing the love, effort, and dedication that shape your family’s journey.

Take time to celebrate the little wins, cherish the memories, and carry these moments with you into the new year. Thank you for joining me today. Wishing you a peaceful, reflective holiday season and a New Year filled with growth, hope, and love.

And as always, Live with Intention – Embrace the Journey.

Connect with me:

Valerie's Links: https://bit.ly/3RL0da2

Music Acknowledgement: Audio Coffee - Denys Kyshchuk

Editor: Scott Arbeau

Link for book: The S.H.I.N.E. Principle: The special needs mom's path to strength, hope and happiness by Valerie Arbeau

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B0CW18ZXGX (Canada)

Here's a community for special needs moms to share, uplift and learn from each other...
https://www.facebook.com/groups/specialneedsmomscircleofstrength

Learn more about your ho

Here's a community for special needs moms to share, uplift and learn from each other...
https://www.facebook.com/groups/specialneedsmomscircleofstrength

Learn more about your host at:
https://coachingwithvalerieanne.com/

Transcript

By reflecting, families of children with disabilities can celebrate their journey, stay grounded in the present and create a vision for the future. It's a powerful tool that promotes healing, joy, and connection, especially during the holiday season.

Hello and welcome to Special Needs Mom's Circle of Strength podcast, Merry Christmas. I hope you are having an amazing week, season, day.

I'm just so glad you're here. Thank you for taking time out to come and spend with me. Merry Christmas to all of you who are listening today. As we come together to celebrate this season, I want to take a moment to recognize this incredible journey that family of children with disabilities experience, especially during the holidays. The season can be both joyful and challenging, and often it's the simple moments that bring the most meaning.

For many families navigating the complexities of daily life with a child who has disabilities can feel overwhelming at the best of times, but it's also filled with countless moments of love, growth, and resilience.

So, whether it's a small milestone, a new skill learned, or just a peaceful moment of connection, these are the memories that truly shape the heart of family life.

So, this episode today is about taking a step back and looking at the year that has almost passed and reflecting on both the progress made and the memories created, both big and small.

It's so easy to get caught up in the rush of holiday preparations and caregiving duties, but it's in these moments of reflection that we can truly appreciate how far we've come.

So, let's pause, reflect, and celebrate not just the challenges we've overcome, but also the beautiful journey we've shared as families. I'm so glad that you're here to join me today for this special reflection episode.

Reflection is important for several reasons, and especially during this holiday season when families may experience a mix of emotions, both joyful and challenging.

Here's why it's valuable.

Reflection encourages us to acknowledge and appreciate what we've been through and what we have.

For parents of children with disabilities, it's an opportunity to recognize the resilience, growth, and small victories that may otherwise go unnoticed.

Focusing on the positive aspects can help us shift perspective from what might be lacking to what is truly meaningful.

Reflecting on the past year allows families to see how much they've grown both individually and as a family unit. It's easy to get caught up in the daily grind, oh yeah, but taking a step back helps highlight the strides that we've made, whether that's through personal achievements, family milestones, or the child's progress.

Reflection brings clarity about what worked well, what didn't, and why.

It offers families the chance to identify areas that need improvement or a shift in approach.

And this can be especially important when we're navigating the complexities of a life with a child who has disabilities as it helps to adjust expectations, goals, and practices for the future.

Reflection can bring families closer together. Sharing thoughts and memories creates an opportunity for open communication, emotional bonding, and mutual understanding. It fosters a sense of shared experience and empathy which can be especially beneficial when reflecting on the challenges faced as a family.

Taking time to reflect helps families to slow down and to be present. It allows them to step out of the rush of the everyday and truly savor the moments.

For families of children with disabilities who may face overwhelming days, let's face it, we all face overwhelming days. There are always overwhelming days, but reflecting helps bring attention back to joy and the love in the home, making them more mindful of their journey.

Reflection helps build resilience. It helps families to recognize the obstacles that they've overcome, which strengthens resilience. It reminds families of their ability to face challenges and to adapt to past successes, no matter how small, boosts confidence, and it provides hope for the future.

Reflection helps us to set intentions for the future. So, looking back on the past year helps us to set intentions for the upcoming year.

Reflection isn't just about remembering. It's also about using those insights to plan for better and a more fulfilling future, whether it's setting new goals for the child's development or focusing on self-care for parents. Reflection sets the stage for forward momentum.

By reflecting, families of children with disabilities can celebrate their journey, stay grounded in the present and create a vision for the future. It's a powerful tool that promotes healing, joy, and connection, especially during the holiday season.

So, my family, we spend Christmas Day differently now that the children are older.

So, mine are 22 and 19.

And our oldest is set up in her forever home, which we call Eden House, which was our family home. And my husband, myself, and our youngest child moved out six and a half years ago, almost seven years ago now, which is hard to believe it's been that long. So, we had to create a new family tradition so that we could all spend Christmas together. So, what we actually do is our youngest child, and my husband and I, we pack up and we go to our oldest daughter's home.

Her housemates, they go to their parents homes, so we actually have our old house to ourselves again for the day.

We ask that the staff, who would be normally scheduled for Christmas Day, go and spend the day with their family. And so we take care of our oldest daughter for the day doing whatever care that she needs. She is total care. But the cool thing is, is that we get there for around nine o'clock in the morning. And because we don't do Christmas dinner on Christmas Day, we are now able to focus in on spending time together.

So, we go and we have a big breakfast. So, we have sausage and eggs or whatever the case may be. So we plan the menu and we make a big breakfast and we enjoy spending time together. Now, our oldest daughter is G-tube fed, so she doesn't participate in the eating part. So that's why we just have an easier meal so that we're not focusing in on just a meal. 

And then we sit and spend time opening the gifts. So we do the stockings before we have the big breakfast, and then we do the gifts after. And I mentioned on last week's episode that we actually do the gifts one at a time so that we can all see who got what and who and are. And then we can make sure that everyone makes a fuss and acknowledges the gifts that they've been given.

So that's one of the things that we do. And then we spend the rest of the day just having fun, maybe watch a movie, maybe sing some songs. My husband loves to play guitar and our oldest loves to hear him play guitar and violin. So, we'll have a little round of music, singing songs, singing some carols, reflect on the Christmas story. And those are some of the things that we do in our home as we spend our Christmas day.

And so the nice thing is, is now that we are looking at ways of reflecting, that's what we're talking about today. That's something that I'm actually going to implement in our Christmas day today. Looking back on both the small and great moments of the year has significant value, and here's why.

The small moments often go unnoticed in the hustle of the daily life, but they are just as important as the big milestones.

Reflecting on these moments helps families recognize and celebrate their everyday successes, whether it's a child learning a new skill, a peaceful family dinner, or simply getting through a challenging day. These small wins build a foundation of resilience and pride.

It helps us cultivate a sense of accomplishment. So big moments like achieving a significant goal or overcoming a major challenge naturally stand out and deserve recognition. However, by looking back on the small moments too, families can see how each tiny step contributed to those bigger achievements. 

For instance, mastering a new communication skill might have been the results of weeks or months of patience and practice. And so acknowledging this process reinforces a sense of accomplishment that extends beyond the big wins.

Number three, create balance and perspective. So reflecting on both small and big moments helps us to create a more balanced perspective. It's easy to focus on the challenges or the larger struggles, but taking time to look at both sides, both the positive and the challenging, helps families to see the full picture.

And this balance fosters a sense of gratitude and understanding, allowing families to appreciate the highs while accepting and learning from the lows.

Looking back on small moments of joy, kindness and connection helps to build emotional resilience, particularly during tough times. And be sure as you look back through the year, there will be some tough times. We've had some really tough times this year that will actually extend into the New Year. And so us having an opportunity to reflect on the progress that has been made during this year will help us as we continue to face the challenge into the New Year.

These reflections serve as reminders that even in the most difficult moments, we can look back and see what were the bright spots. Whether it's a small gesture of love or a moment of laughter, these memories help parents and children alike find strength and hope for the future.

And did you know it helps to strengthen family bonds?

Reflecting on both the small and great moments together as a family can deepen emotional bonds. By sharing these reflections, families can celebrate not just the big achievements, as we've said, but the day-to-day experiences that make the journey unique. These moments, whether they're funny, heartfelt or challenging, create a shared narrative that strengthens connections between family members.

It helps with building meaningful traditions. So when families reflect on their experiences over time, they create a rich history of memories that can become treasured traditions. Perhaps a small quiet moment of connection during a holiday season turns into an annual ritual that is cherished for years to come. So looking back helps families realize what truly matters to them and can lead to the creation of traditions that hold deep emotional value.

Reflecting on both the small and great moments reveals the growth and changes that may not be immediately apparent. Looking back on a year's worth of experiences allows families to see how far they've come, even if progress seemed slow at the time.

These reflections can help families appreciate the ongoing transformation, whether it's the development of new abilities, improved coping strategies, or personal growth.

It helps foster gratitude.

When families reflect on their year, they are more likely to express gratitude for both the big moments, like a child achieving a big milestone, or the small moments, like finding joy in a routine activity.

This gratitude practice is not only heartwarming, but it also helps shift the focus on what might be lacking to what has been gained, no matter how small.

Looking back on those moments, both great and small, helps to create lasting memories. The act of reminiscing can actually solidify those experiences in the family's collective memory. For future generations, these reflections can provide context, insight, and stories that carry emotional significance and can be shared for years to come.

Reflecting on all the moments, both great and small, enables families to see the richness of their journey, recognizing that everyday experiences are often just as valuable, if not more so, than the major milestones.

Together, these moments create a beautiful, nuanced story of growth, love, and resilience.

So, I want you to think about some simple ways to reflect together as a family.

It could be a holiday journal, where parents keep a small journal with their children, where they can write or draw their favorite moments from the year and the holidays. This could also be a family activity where everyone shares their reflections.

It could be a group conversation, where you're chatting together and everyone's sharing a special memory or something that they've been grateful for from the last year. This could be done as a simple roundtable during the holiday meal, or it could be a special moment before bedtime.

You could have a memory box or a jar, where you have the family members write down memorable moments or milestones, put them in a jar, and these can be memories that can be shared and read together in the future.

You could create a video message or an audio message, so do a recording where the family create those cherished moments that they can look back on in future years.

And I got this next idea from Brendan Burchard, who is an author, motivational speaker, and coach, and he talked about reviewing the photographs that he had in his phone from the year. And so I think this is something that I am going to be doing later today with my family as part of creating a new tradition for us as we grow.

My youngest is 19, so they have their phone, they'll have their pictures that they'll be able to share with us.

And my husband and I have each of our own phones, so we'll be able to share the pictures that we have with one another and hopefully talk about and chat about what was so special about those photographs, what came to mind, what our thought processes were during that time. I think it will be a fun time, so I'm really looking forward to doing that.

And I then want you to think about turning this reflection into a tradition, like I've just said. So for us, we're going to try it out, and then I'm going to see how it is and how it's received, and just check in with my family and see if it's something that they want to do next year.

My hope is that you can find something that you can do that can become an annual tradition. And it may be that with the photographs that we highlight, my family, that we pick some, and we create a slideshow that we can maybe check in with throughout the year. Or if you're into scrapbooking, maybe you can print the pictures and you can put them into a scrapbook.

My hope for my family is that it will be a regular part of the holidays, and I can totally see how this can create family bonds and create a meaningful way to look back on the progress that the family has made through the year.

This tradition can grow as the family grows, as the children age. It can be tweaked to be age-appropriate. But I think you can see how it can become an important part of the family's unique holiday celebration.

So, as we wrap up today's episode, I want to remind you that reflection isn't just about looking back. It's about recognizing the moments that have shaped us and using that insight to move forward with purpose and with gratitude. The challenges and joys of raising children with disabilities are unique, but they all contribute to the beautiful tapestry of your family's story.

By taking time to reflect on the progress made, the lessons learned, and the memories created, no matter how big or small, you can carry those moments with you into the new year, filled with a sense of accomplishment and hope for the future.

Remember, it's not about perfection, but about the love, effort, and dedication you pour into your family every day. 

I encourage you to take a few moments today, or whenever you can, to reflect on what this year has brought you. Celebrate the little wins, acknowledge the growth, and cherish the memories you've made. These moments are the gifts that just keep on giving.

Thank you so much for joining me today. I wish you a peaceful, reflective holiday season and a New Year full of hope, growth, and love.

Take care, and I look forward to connecting with you in the next episode in 2025.

And remember, Live with Intention - Embrace the Journey.