Will You Survive... The Podcast
Will You Survive These Zombie Scenarios: Tactical Humor and High-Stakes Strategy
Ready for some thrilling debate? We tackle a range of imaginative survival scenarios, from opting for weapons like jetpacks to making split-second decisions on a partially collapsed bridge. We even discuss how to fortify a suburban house against the undead. Packed with action-movie references, tactical planning, and intense decision-making moments, this segment is a rollercoaster ride of strategy and laughs that could mean the difference between life and death in a zombie-infested world.
Ready for some thrilling debate? We tackle a range of imaginative survival scenarios, from opting for weapons like jetpacks to making split-second decisions on a partially collapsed bridge. We even discuss how to fortify a suburban house against the undead. Packed with action-movie references, tactical planning, and intense decision-making moments, this segment is a rollercoaster ride of strategy and laughs that could mean the difference between life and death in a zombie-infested world.
All right, we ready, All right huh.
Speaker 1:This guy. Will you let me get to the episode and then maybe you'll know. No, you don't get to steal my hey, you just maybe pull out my notepad preemptively. No, no, I'm the host. Shut up, you're going to lose points before the episode even begins. Every mouth sound I hear is minus one point. Yes, do you hear mine? I'm trying. Hello survivors, and welcome to another episode of Will you Survive, the Podcast. I'm Eric and I'm joined by my co-hosts, alex and TJ. Introduce yourself, boys. I'm Alex. We're only spitting facts here and today I'm ready to deviate from what we normally do, although we have been doing that quite a bit recently. I have a little game. Do you guys want to play a game?
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:I mean, there's not really any stipulations on which you have to drink, but there's also no rules that say you can't. I forgot mine too. I almost want to take a break, but it's really late and I'm going to get really tired, so Wait, we could do that. No, but that doesn't actually save us any time right now.
Speaker 3:Wait a minute. You guys are already forgetting how reality works.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm like oh yeah, that's actually a really good idea. I'll have like a minute, okay, so I think we need to test our survival skills Now. We all know I don't know jack shit, so I'm going to test our two more experienced co-hosts here on different survival situations. You Sorry, I don't know if you could have been any louder getting that out. Oh well, now I just sound crazy Epic.
Speaker 3:Well, now I just sound crazy, epic. Sorry, half of the sandwich wrap.
Speaker 1:No, oh, gotcha, that's pretty awesome, so we can still hear you. Are you still muted? Okay, well, yeah, okay, so now he muted himself completely. Oh, look at that now. We are talking to ourselves now, and I'm not even gonna know when we were talking to ourselves or not until I record this or edit this. Okay, okay, shut up. No, you know what? Hang on. Minus one point for sassing the host, I'm losing everything Hang on.
Speaker 3:I would not do such a deplorable thing.
Speaker 1:Your Honor, Plus one for sucking up to the host. Okay, all right. Minus one for gloating. I know I was going to give you a point. It's from Little Rascals and I was going to give you a point, but you just sassed me again. Well, thank you. Plus one, I am, but I do know that quote. I'll trade you my one dollar for your two quarters. All right, I'll give you plus one TJ, for I feel bad and we'll start off at zero for the start of this game. Okay, okay, all, give you plus one TJ, for I Feel Bad and we'll start off at zero for the start of this game. Okay, okay, all points from here on are final. Alright. So I'm going to put you guys in different survival situations and we're gonna see what you guys would do. Scenario number one Mall mayhem. You are trapped in a large shopping mall with a group of survivors. The exits are blocked by a horde of zombies. How do you secure the mall? Does anybody want to go first? Okay, alex, give me your answer. Sure, what do you want to know?
Speaker 3:I want to know are they only blocked on the outside, or are they only outside?
Speaker 1:They're only outside. This is a lot like Day of the Dead, dawn of the Dead.
Speaker 3:They're outside.
Speaker 1:Yes, so this is like the doors were a pull, so the zombies don't know how to pull it open, but it's precarious. Alright, you got the same amount as Dawn of the Dead. You got like 10 to 12.
Speaker 3:Alright, so one of the things that I would do, the mall was open, right well, that seems unlikely.
Speaker 1:Ah, no, ha, no, ha, ha ha. I remembered the details. I'm not coming up with them. I am coming up with them. The mall was closed this day when the zombie apocalypse broke out. So you broke in and you found this other group of survivors who also sought refuge here.
Speaker 3:So the first thing I would have to do is secure the door that I broke in, sought refuge here. Thank you, worried about them. That makes it worse because it will just completely come down like snow. I would. I would use any, any kinds of random gear in the stores, like I said, shelving. Hopefully I could find, like in the target, a power drill and screws, and then I would be able to, I'd be able to screw some of the shelving onto.
Speaker 1:Hopefully, yeah, the back rooms, hallways.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, I like it, so, okay. So let's see, I'm going to give you plus one for resourcefulness and plus one for backroom hallways. Funny, tj. What's your answer? Do you need me to repeat the prompt? Okay, you are trapped in a large shopping mall with a group of survivors about 10 to 12. The exits are blocked by a horde of zombies and your goal is to secure them all. How do you do that? We'll say one.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:We'll stick to Dawn of the Dead.
Speaker 1:We'll stay consistent. So they can sprint. They're scary, but apparently they're terrified of fire. Uh-oh Well, let's say for arguments that you brought, alex brought up the Glendale Galleria, so oh, in some parts, but it's primarily two floors. So we'll say two floors. Yes, two floors. Sure, what's your plan? That is the worst. Now I gotta interject. Do we not think the zombies might try to climb over? That's true, alright, he said of the dead. I knew what he was talking about.
Speaker 1:Okay, I almost feel like you insulted one of my favorite movies. You almost lost a point. You're on thin ice, mister. I genuinely don't even know what my favorite movie would be. For a long time I did say that movie because I just couldn't really think of another one. I don't know jack shit.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you're gonna video game stairs it Now. I love this plan, but again, you're, you're making me have a lot similar plan for if I see a spider in my room. So, yeah, okay. Anything else you want to add? Okay, um, I will say I had a bonus point in mind.
Speaker 1:My bonus point was going to be if anybody mentioned some sort of like escape out a window or like you came, alex, you came close to it when you said leaving like one doorway open. But I think that's really risky. So I think leaving some sort of window with maybe like a way to parkour up to it or something is no, I will not open. Yeah, unbarricaded. I would feel so terrified about that. I give you one point for resourcefulness and one point for backroom hallways. So for a total of two points for that round. Tj, I gave you one point for video game stairs because that was pretty funny, and Then I gave you one point for doubling down on that idea and going full pyro Because I love fire. So two points for that one and no one gets the bonus point. One gets the bonus point. A lot of interjecting going wrong guys. Okay, well, do both. You want to crack at? Go. Oh, I'm here for it, go ahead.
Speaker 3:Because you just barricaded yourself upstairs, that's true, and you can't go anywhere.
Speaker 1:You know, I will say he did specifically say he wanted to go on the second floor, and then he did mention that he had an escape plan.
Speaker 3:Okay, but you realize that I guess this is just how he brought up a specific model.
Speaker 1:Second floor still has access, there's still access to both levels. I was going to bring that up, but then I never actually brought it up to him that the Glendale Galleria. Does that change your answer at all, or?
Speaker 3:would you pretty much do the them all.
Speaker 1:Now what if he went to the third floor?
Speaker 3:Bill has access to the third, but it's better because it goes into that parking structure?
Speaker 1:Oh, it does go in the parking structure, but you could probably block that door, I guess. So yeah, that's why I think blocking all the doors in a group of 12 would get that done especially if they're all that door I guess.
Speaker 1:So yeah, oh, it's early on, yeah, so that's scary that would require they might block that door. They might block that door. Okay, I'm not going to lie. I think I'm going to give TJ the bonus point there, because he did mention going to the top floor and he said he had a plan, which I don't know what the plan is. I don't know if it's just jump out or sheet rope. I'm starting to waver on his honor's tactics here. Is that sass to the judge?
Speaker 3:No, no, no, sass, I said your honor.
Speaker 1:It felt sassy. You're on thin ice, sir.
Speaker 3:Oh man, oh man, I almost want to give him an extra point for sacrificial lamb. He's gonna use the, the child of the group. You're trying to trade every two-year-old between their family.
Speaker 1:You did say that before.
Speaker 3:And you want to take a trillion dollars from every orphanage in the world.
Speaker 1:I got bad news for you. I've got really bad news for you. Oh well, he got me there. You know what I? There was a lot of adding and subtracting of points that I was going to do to you in that, in that short little segment there, so I think we're just going to leave it at what it is.
Speaker 3:I will say the walking dead did leave boy carl r.
Speaker 1:Oh, they did so. Alex, you're at two points, tj you're at three. Moving on to scenario two, bridge escape. You are on a bridge that is partially collapsed. The zombies are closing in from one end and on the other side leads Leads to a military checkpoint when you will be safer. However, the bridge is unstable and could collapse at any minute.
Speaker 1:How do you navigate this bridge? I think we'll go with TJ first this time. It's a four lane bridge With two sidewalks, one on each side that goes over a major highway. I would say there's no cars on the bridge at the moment, besides like loose asphalt, probably not. They're closing in. What weapon would you like to have on you? Let's say, a jetpack? Um, sure you have a pistol on you. Your age right now? Yes, unless you have a grenade on you, probably not. It's like partially collapsed. So like the middle left side of it is kind of collapsed a little bit and it feels like you could probably walk on it, but you know it might be a little precarious. They're a good distance, you have some time to think, but they're closing in Like you probably have about 30 seconds before they're on. You Doesn't have to be, but there's a military checkpoint on the other side.
Speaker 2:Okay to be but there's a military checkpoint on the other side. Alright, okay, okay.
Speaker 1:How would you lure them onto the bridge? But wouldn't they chase you? Oh, okay, okay, are you going across? Or are you just final hurrah-ing it? Okay, I'm here for it. Tj, I need you to do me a quick favor. I need you to search up a D20. 14. All right, you make it across. All right, tj, it across. All right, tj Ballsy. Alex, you need me to reread the prompt. No, but I need to know If you fall, you wouldn't die, but you wouldn't be able to walk.
Speaker 1:I'm thinking you would know. Particularly, I'm thinking, the Burbank Bridge. There's no water underneath it, it's a highway. Okay, not necessarily, but there's a major highway that's below the bridge and it's not really easy to get to it from where you are. Essentially, you could get to the highway, but you gotta go around kind of a bit. It's a bit of a drop, unless you want to try to traverse it, you're by yourself. You're pretty okay. At the moment it's still. Uh, you have some water in your bag, you have a little bit of food, not in particular, but there is a military checkpoint on the other side.
Speaker 3:Fair enough. I would love the ability to wild outpost doing what they do and I'm gonna get, or are they legit?
Speaker 1:I'd love the opportunity to go that I go running, but on the other side of it well, you do have a horde of zombies chasing you, so that's kind of the motivation to go to the military.
Speaker 3:But Are we still talking Dawn of the Dead like scriptures?
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're like they're past the mall but they saw you, so they're like 30 seconds out.
Speaker 3:Do I have like.
Speaker 1:You have, yeah, you have like a backpack with your stuff.
Speaker 3:Oh man, oh man, and use it like a. Uh, like, I'm going to use my pack like a harness, basically.
Speaker 1:I really like that. Yes, look, I think he might be. I know he knows how to tie knots, so I think he could fasten himself like a little harness to put between his legs and dangle. I will admit, I think you'd be quite a bit sore after this because you also gotta climb yourself back up, but I do think you've avoided the horde and, who knows, maybe the military comes and helps you because they see a survivor. Either way, I love the movie, the action movie situation.
Speaker 1:You know what always scares me about those situations. We see that happen in movies quite a bit, I think, like hashtag alive and zombie land 2 for hashtag alive, I think. In particular, I always worry what if the zombies fall on top of you? Now, in their situation it's a little different, because the zombies are running towards them. So of course they're going to fall uh like away from the and they're going towards the building. But in this particular situation I feel like maybe the railing would make them fall on top of you. But I think you'd be okay. Yes, mmm, they just walk off.
Speaker 3:They're running at me. I'm all down. I go at a 90. They're still coming. I'm sitting up. As soon as they get close to me, I start going.
Speaker 1:Precarious. Okay, go ahead and click D20 for me at the top and click roll 10 will be enough. That was the dc. I like both answers. I do like the, the c4, although in order to do the c4, well wait, did you say you were sacrificing yourself? He's gotta do what he's gotta do. He is suicidal well, what was that got to do? He is suicidal. Well, what was that?
Speaker 2:Dawn of the Dead oh.
Speaker 3:Sacrificing yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I didn't get that reference because I didn't really watch the Walking Dead. Okay, well, I gave you plus one for Ballsy, I gave Alex plus one for Action Movie, but I also gave you plus one for Anti-Government. So that puts Alex at four points and TJ at four points. We're tied up, boys, you, you, all right. Third situation Suburban siege. Your group is hiding in a suburban neighborhood surrounded by zombies, and you must fortify your house. How are you going to fortify your house? This is similar to the mall, but on a much smaller scale. Yes, alex, go ahead.
Speaker 3:Okay, so in a house I've broken into it, right?
Speaker 1:Let's say the door was unlocked and you happened into this house and there's no zombies in here. You and your group have now cleared it. You have a small group of four, you included.
Speaker 3:All right, so what I do at that point. All right, so what I do at that point.
Speaker 1:Sure, sure two-story house, and we don't live in a two-story house and we don't.
Speaker 2:No, no, there's some nice, nice ass houses out in Compton.
Speaker 1:I trust me. I've been looking at real estate opportunities. There's like some really nice houses out there in Compton. It's Compton, so I go upstairs and I look for.
Speaker 3:Here's what I prefer to have is a way to get up.
Speaker 1:How would you propose to do that? That's a bit difficult in most suburban houses.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1:Well, let's go full. This is a very nice neighborhood in Compton. There's a balcony, but there is like an overhang on this balcony, so you would kind of have to go around it, Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:I have to hang for the yeah, yeah, mm-hmm. That's the last thing I do.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the way I secure the downstairs is I take every interior door and block up all of the windows. Hopefully this house has some kind of tool. If it has nothing, we're working into the night because that's going to be the only way, the only way you can do it.
Speaker 1:If there's no tools is using furniture barricading every door. The hardest door to barricade is usually the backyard. At the moment, it's a pretty normal sized fence so you can't see over it. It's wooden, so the backyard is more or less secure, but if zombies noticed or heard you, they could potentially break through. And there is a glass sliding door. Let's say there are no power tools. The people who lived in this house tend to hire people to do things for them. Uh, you can find a hammer. That is okay. You guys actually did kind of hit on something. Um, I did, which I think I might actually give tj the bonus point for this managing noise levels this is my go hi, he added something really nice there.
Speaker 1:I was going to say noise level should be taken into account in in settings like this, but continue.
Speaker 3:I'm not, I'm not concerned about I'll continue now.
Speaker 1:can I ask if there was no hammer, what's your next thought? What's your next thought? Sofa, kind of like a wooden stop in a sliding glass door? Right, do that with all of the major windows, right?
Speaker 1:So for instance, like a, we'll say, a kitchen window you're putting something over the sink, I would say like I'd have to do like closet doors that are pretty flimsy, mm-hmm at least long enough to realize that they're trying to get in from the cool okay, tj. Cool Okay, tj, mm-hmm. No, it has a main floor and a top floor. Yeah, there'd be a crawl space.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, okay, okay.
Speaker 1:No, your group was able to kind of sneak in, so no zombies immediately know that you're there. I like where you're going. Um, no, this house has been remarkably not touched by the apocalypse. Seems like two accountants lived here. Yes, although I do want to know what you would use if you didn't find a hammer, or what you would do. Rather Well, I asked you what would you If you couldn't find a hammer? What would you do? What would you do if you didn't have a hammer is what I meant to ask.
Speaker 3:I'd also worry about not having a hammer. Is what I meant to ask?
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:That's good Now. Now, I said no carcass. My only concern with that is that you would have to change out that carcass pretty frequently or you're going to get sick having a rotting corpse. I guess for us, I mean, even if there is, that only works until there's no power. That's true. Oh, okay, I agree, not the worst idea. Um yeah, um, yeah, I mean it might be really difficult to jump that, but I mean you probably could make it. But it there, it's further than you think it is. When you're up there, you know like it looks really close. And then you're up there and you're like, okay, well, yeah, like that's gonna be a bit of a tough jump and we can assume it's a slanted roof. So you're running across the slanted roof and then jumping. What would you cover it with?
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:I love that. Even drywall, I love that. That's an idea I've never heard before. I really like that idea.
Speaker 3:You know what I thought you were going? I thought you were going somewhere that I brought up with you before, when we were both sick, and that episode I said one of the things that I would make is not be comfortable, and this isn't the end.
Speaker 2:It's very uncomfortable, it's just getting used to the false face of the thought.
Speaker 1:Most of our houses down here, our homes don't have much of an effect. Yeah, kinda. Yeah, I also wouldn't want to breathe that air for too much, like all that fiberglass up there.
Speaker 3:Oh, the one that I was thinking of.
Speaker 1:You needed yeah, you needed a ladder to get to it, but the washer and dryer were right next to it. You could get up without a ladder, but you would have to jump and pull yourself up. I like that idea, tj. Uh, you got a point for that. You also got a point the bonus point for noise, alex, you got a bonus point. Or you got a point for wedging the door with a bookshelf. I like that idea. Like the more they push, they're kind of just keeping themselves out. I like that idea a lot. So that puts you, alex, at five and TJ at six.
Speaker 1:I think we're going to be on our last one, number four, hospital havoc. You're in a hospital looking for medical supplies to help an injured teammate. The hospital is overrun with zombies and some floors are in total darkness. It's a pretty medium sized hospital. It's not the biggest you've ever seen, but it's got quite a few rooms. It's got like four floors. It's got an ER room and a main lobby area.
Speaker 1:In different wards you have an injured teammate. We can discuss what that injury is. They have a pretty nasty gash along their the back of their right calf and it's definitely going to need some stitches and they're having a hard time walking and they're bleeding a lot. It's definitely not a bite or scratch. You saw it happen. They sliced themselves on a jagged piece of metal pretty good. They're currently bleeding On their right leg.
Speaker 1:Yes, uh, yes, uh, no, shout out. Yes, uh, no, shout out, kat. Okay, fair enough. No, only some of them are. So two out of the four are dark. The second and the fourth floor yeah, the first floor would be your lobby and ER, but I would say that would probably have the most zombies. The third floor I don't know what the hell is on the third floor of a hospital. Let's say this is just like a general clinic kind of floor, like nothing urgent, but you know, you're getting your colonoscopies, you're getting your general physical checkups. Yeah, yeah, sure. So you said you go up the elevator. Let's say you're able to sneak by them, by the zombies, and you're able to get the elevator open. I don't think it would be that noisy, although I think that might be a concern. But when you go up the ladder and you have to pry open the other elevator doors, how are you going to do that? I'm thinking more like where are ladders located on on those, like on the opposite side?
Speaker 3:Yeah, they're on the opposite side of the yeah, why would you even think to put it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so let's assume we're not in California and things aren't built dumb and they're built the way they should be Well, aren't built dumb and they're built the way they should be Well. Minus one for thinking Washington's smart. No, I'm kidding, I haven't established that rule, although that is what's going to happen. Uh, below you, let's say you aren't entirely sure. First, general lobby, er, some doctor's offices, yeah, but there's zombies. Well, the floor below you would be hell the floor. There's zombies on every floor. But I'm assuming that you're sneaking through.
Speaker 1:It's not super populated in the building, but there are zombies. I would say you could probably find a weapon within the hospital. I'm sure you could find it then. But let's say, for argument's sake, you have a baseball bat because you were with some survivors. Mm-hmm, it's a very dark floor. Uh, this floor seems to have a few more zombies than the one that you were on, because it's the floor below you and you see what looks like some bigger rooms down hallways, like there's less doors. It doesn't look like it's just a bunch of small rooms that would All right.
Speaker 1:This is quickly turning into a D&D session. Alright, we'll follow through with it. Sure, you walk off into a room and you find yourself in an operating room and you see there's no body on the table or anything, and it looks like most of this room wasn't used when the apocalypse broke out. I like that you explored more, even after finding the. What would you call it? Like the emergency kit? Like the medical kit, or whatever? The nurse's kit? Oh, gotcha, I guess. Fair enough. Oh, that was where you got the flashlight. Yeah, gotcha. Okay, alex, you want me to reread it?
Speaker 3:I need a little help.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, sure You're in a hospital looking for medical supplies to help an injured teammate. This teammate has a pretty nasty gash. It's pretty deep. It's definitely going to need stitches. The hospital is overrun with zombies and some of the floors are in total darkness. What do you do?
Speaker 3:how overrun, is it?
Speaker 1:I don't remember that. I remember that. I don't remember Shane.
Speaker 3:I don't remember Otis.
Speaker 1:Oh okay, oh, this was right when they found the farm. Okay, gotcha, yeah, how many zombies were at that school. So not like that, not flooded. I would say there's probably a good like 10 to 20 on each floor, but the bottom floor definitely has more. It's a pretty decent sized hospital. It seems like a lot of the people fled the hospital.
Speaker 2:I have my story.
Speaker 1:In this one. You are entering on ground floor, no basement. This is the first floor, yeah, and the ER is attached to it. It's like a medium-sized hospital, it's not like the big ones out here. No, this one has more, because this is a ground level. Some of them are intact, some of them look like they've been pushed through. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for the most part, yes, in a parking garage, small one, sure, it doesn't have to be.
Speaker 3:If you had a plan, well, my plan would be to look for a car, looking for a car alarm. You get a car alarm to go off my way into the first floor. If I don't have that access, if I'm not able make my way into the first floor, if I don't have that access, if I'm not able to do that, then what I think I'm going to have to do is I don't have a fire alarm, unless I pick one up along the way. I don't really want to use a fire alarm unless it's a success and maybe it's fun to have that in the kitchen they try to.
Speaker 1:No, he's not bit, he did. He ripped his leg open on a pretty jagged piece of metal.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Now I will say, I really liked your car alarm idea, so let's say that works though works, though.
Speaker 3:I'm going to want to find any local anesthetic any, I don't know. I want to find anything that will numb him. I want to find something like a scalpel. I want to cut away the gross skin. If we can suture it up, we're going to want to do that. If not, I'm going to want better bandages and more of them, because he's going to need to change them often. I'm in there.
Speaker 1:I'm also going to try to get On a side note, can we talk about how hilarious it is that hospitals have gift shops? That is so out of place. It's crazy. Get this, get this most. Uh, hospitals have gift shops but not valet, like. If any place needs valet service, it's a hospital. Some of them do. Uh, kaiser does.
Speaker 1:So, how do we do? Okay, well, we'll start with TJ. I gave you plus one for pre-med because you talked about helping your guy out before you went in, which I appreciate that. I gave you plus one for let there be light, slash explore, because you went and found where you knew a flashlight would be and then explored the darker floors, which is ballsy. However, I subtracted one from you because you didn't think about tetanus or a possible infection, which was something I was looking for, because if your teammate cuts his leg open on a, on a jagged piece of metal, I'd be pretty concerned about him losing the leg afterwards.
Speaker 1:That's a choice, alex. You know what. I'm here for it. I'm curious to know how that holds up. Uh, but as of the game show, you stand at eight points, alex. You got plus one for buy a bug out bag from our Pinterest at will you survive the podcast, because if you have this bug out bag, then well, you could put together your bug out bag and then you don't have to. You don't have to go into the scary hospital because you'll have most of what you need in there, and then, when you do need to go into the scary hospital, you can use the rest of these tips, such as, uh, using a car alarm for a distraction.
Speaker 1:I really liked that, um, rather than having to sneak through all the zombies, which seems very scary and precarious it is, although I think the more floors you explore, the more you risk getting caught and dying and not being able to help your friend. So I think luring all the zombies out is a pretty damn good idea. And then Alex, um, and then alex a little bit, but I assume you're not trying to stay there that long, you're just trying to get in, to get the supplies and get out, which I also like that you just went to the er, grabbed supplies and then dipped, and I liked your infection concerns grabbing different medicine, which I also think would be really good for trade, assuming that it is there, or whatever meds you could find, and ER equipment would most certainly have stitches and suture needles and potentially alcohol that you could use. So that puts us in a bad spot, boys, alcohol that you could use. So that puts us in a bad spot, boys. You could probably bust open a lock, right, that's true, but there's a car alarm going off. Either way, he brings up good concerns, but we're both at eight points, boys, which means we're at a tie.
Speaker 1:So, in order to break this tie, we're going to do a speed round of the fifth scenario. Are we ready? Let's keep this. We'll give a minute each to do this. We want to start with Alex. We'll start with you. Farmhouse defense. You and your team are holed up in a remote farmhouse. Zombies are approaching from all directions and you need to set up traps and barriers to protect yourselves. My question what's the coolest trap that you could reasonably build at a farmhouse? Let's say you have as much time as you need to set this up.
Speaker 3:You just know, zombies come through this area, pretty often Farming equipment.
Speaker 1:One of the things I'm definitely going to want. Okay, what farm equipment would you use to dig such a deep hole, back hole? I don't know what that is. Okay, it's typical on farmhouses.
Speaker 3:Yes, because.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm here for it. Cool, okay, making a moat, I like it. That's a very Resident Evil 3 the movie. Well, it was full of Alice, but I like that. That's pretty sick TJ. Well, it was full of Alice, but, yeah, I like that. That's pretty sick TJ. Yes, it's a farmhouse. It has a barn. Mm Farmers do gotta build shit I. It's hard to go wrong with Pyro.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:I was going to say I'm fairly certain that would be incredibly dangerous for you, but I gotta say I'm here for the pyro techniques, I like the pyro. I gotta say I'm here for the pyro techniques, I like the pyro. Alright, I've heard both submissions and I've gotta say, alex, the moat is a really fucking cool idea and I really like it. I think the only thing that would have made it better is putting spikes at the bottom, but I was. You know what sucks is.
Speaker 3:I actually did think of barbed wire.
Speaker 1:That would have been cool too, to tangle them up, but I was particularly thinking of like Home Alone style traps, because I thought that would be, although not quite as efficient, I would actually argue. I would actually argue it does sound suicidal, but I did say coolest. So I think that round has to go to TJ making the final score 8 for Alex and 9 for TJ, making TJ the winner of today's episode. Woo, all right guys. The Academy thanks you, alex. What do you have to say?
Speaker 3:I think it's over. I think that I was gypped.
Speaker 1:Because then you sassed me Minus one for gaslighting Seven to nine Minus one.
Speaker 3:Six to nine, it doesn't matter. Now, I don't care, take them all away, take them all away.
Speaker 1:Minus one, six to nine, and I won't remove them because that's perfect. It never ends.
Speaker 3:Oh, fuck you. No, no, Just so you know. Just so you know, when I get my host, I'm taking all the points.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay. So I think we've just realized we have to give each other the win over and over to avoid this tyrannical rule I'm not going to lie. One we would have to keep three separate tallies, because when I host, it's you two, when one of you hosts, it's the other two. So we would have to keep three separate tallies of three people, of whose score is going.
Speaker 3:I amend my answer for this.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I think we should go per episode. I think per episode. No. Do you want that? Minus one. I am still the host here, sir. Until this episode is over, I have not said the final words. You're lucky, the score is perfect.
Speaker 3:Well, listen, since you're the host.
Speaker 1:Yes. I will do you a favor? Are you trying to bribe me?
Speaker 3:If I can get three points, I'll hit him with the social.
Speaker 1:That is tempting, although three points. I'll hit him with the social. That is tempting, although three points would not make you win. It would tie you. So what happens if you guys tie? Do I just host again or do you guys dual host?
Speaker 3:Oh, no, you would have to host still.
Speaker 1:But I just want to say no, I don't think we're doing the continuous tally. That's crazy. That's way more tempting, actually, I think, instead of accepting bribes, I'm a clean judge. I do things fair and by the book and if you sass me I'm going to hold you in contempt. So our socials, losing points, our socials If you want to send us an email and talk about how I'm the most fair judge, then you can hit us up at theboys, at willy, survive the podcast calm.
Speaker 1:Well, everybody knows the British love me. So, mmm, it's like a cat thing like you. If you hate them, they just can't stand it. They love you. I'm pretty sure it's like that. I'm pretty sure it's like that. If you feel like you need to tell me more how I am the best host, you could also rate us on Spotify or Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts, and you can rate us 5 stars. That is true. I will give you a shout out, or one of us will give you a shout out. I will say I want to correct something that alex said earlier.
Speaker 1:I would not be starting on zero points. I was given a point by tj in the beginning. So well, as the host, I accept it graciously and I have a point, I'll have you know. Thank you, tj. That's my type of contestant, so the real score is 6-9-3. Who me? All right, You're lucky. This score is too perfect for me to mess with. I'm going to finish the socials. If you want to talk about how TJ is a backstabber, you could go message us on Instagram, tiktok, facebook, all that willyousurvive the podcast and you could go to Twitter. This one's more accurate. Yeah, alex and Eric at WYS. No, exactly, but that's just on X, though on everything else you do. Just on X, though On everything else you do. So tune in next week, where TJ will take hostmanship and we'll host the next episode and Alex and I will see what happens then. And until next time, stay alive to the death you.