Will You Survive... The Podcast
After Hours: Hush
Listen in as Eric and Alex settle the score in a tiebreaker to see who picks the next movie. Judged by our sharp-witted host, expect a burst of humor and friendly competition. Following this high-energy quiz, we dissect the killer's method in "Hush," debating his strengths, missteps, and pondering how he might have pulled off his eerie plan more effectively.
Ever fantasized about the perfect bank heist? We take a quirky detour into planning one, complete with latex prosthetics and chubby suits for disguise, and creative tactics for handling DNA evidence. The fun doesn't stop there; we think up strategies involving homeless attire and frequent bank visits to ensure the perfect alibi. Wrapping up, we channel the spirit of "Office Space" to share hilarious anecdotes about slacking at work, debating future podcast topics, and reflecting on our dynamic relationships. Join us for an entertaining blend of competition, clever schemes, and laugh-out-loud moments!
Listen in as Eric and Alex settle the score in a tiebreaker to see who picks the next movie. Judged by our sharp-witted host, expect a burst of humor and friendly competition. Following this high-energy quiz, we dissect the killer's method in "Hush," debating his strengths, missteps, and pondering how he might have pulled off his eerie plan more effectively.
Ever fantasized about the perfect bank heist? We take a quirky detour into planning one, complete with latex prosthetics and chubby suits for disguise, and creative tactics for handling DNA evidence. The fun doesn't stop there; we think up strategies involving homeless attire and frequent bank visits to ensure the perfect alibi. Wrapping up, we channel the spirit of "Office Space" to share hilarious anecdotes about slacking at work, debating future podcast topics, and reflecting on our dynamic relationships. Join us for an entertaining blend of competition, clever schemes, and laugh-out-loud moments!
But yeah, y'all were tied Okay. So how are we going to break this tiebreaker?
Speaker 3:That is a great question.
Speaker 2:I'll leave it up to you. Your Honor, your wiseness will dictate the right way.
Speaker 1:Wow, he already gave the suck-up point. You don't have to keep trying, yeah suck-up points already.
Speaker 2:So just for your information, I have been speaking to you with reverence and respect the entire episode.
Speaker 1:You can't call that sucking up sounds like a teacher's pet to me I'll ask you a question about the movie.
Speaker 3:Welcome to After Hours. Welcome to After Hours, everybody.
Speaker 2:In this episode of After Hours, alex that's me and Eric need to break the tie from our previous episode of Will you Survive? Hush, the movie from 2016.
Speaker 3:In order to figure out who will be the host.
Speaker 1:I trust our very wise and gracious judge to make the correct call.
Speaker 2:See, that's sucking up. He's been talking shit the whole episode. Now he wants to try to act like he's reverent.
Speaker 1:I've been talking shit to you, sir, not to our wonderful, great, very honorable judge who has only made fair rulings. Your Honor, may I suggest a D&D battle between me and Alex?
Speaker 3:No, I'm gonna ask you a deep cut question about the movie and you guys are going to buzz in.
Speaker 1:Fair Alex does research. Okay, what's your buzzer sound? What's?
Speaker 2:my buzzer sound.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how are you gonna buzz in? I don't know. Okay, mine's going to be All right, you ready.
Speaker 3:It is not a question that will be related to survival whatsoever. It is just a question about the movie. Okay, our main protagonist, maddie Young young, has a sister. What is her name?
Speaker 1:max, you didn't buzz in. Oh, that's my buzzer sound, your honor what's your?
Speaker 3:uh, what's your, what's your answer?
Speaker 1:eric um, it was max your honor. What is?
Speaker 2:it oh shit, it was Max Wrong. No, her sister's name. She's played by Emma Graves.
Speaker 3:Nope, it's not her name. Oh Wait, yes, eric.
Speaker 2:Was it Squish? Well, that was a nickname. Nope, you can't.
Speaker 3:Oh.
Speaker 1:What's her sister's name?
Speaker 3:I am only accepting full names here.
Speaker 1:The full name, last name too. Yes, full name Full name.
Speaker 3:Did we ever get?
Speaker 1:her last name.
Speaker 2:That would be Maxine.
Speaker 3:Correct and the point for the host title goes to there was a one point.
Speaker 1:It was a one point tie breaker.
Speaker 3:Yes, sudden death that's why I said tiebreaker your honor.
Speaker 1:That was a shit ruling glad you said that you want.
Speaker 2:You want to lose points.
Speaker 1:You want to yeah go backwards, give a shit wait so so I tried sucking your ass and it didn't work so do you want these to be cumulative, like you?
Speaker 2:wanted last time I didn't want that you wanted them cumulative.
Speaker 1:No, I didn't. Tj wanted them cumulative. I said that's a dumb idea.
Speaker 3:It should be cumulative, cumulative or like we could have, like a grand thing you know, and whoever has you know season finale, kind of like who's keeping track of this?
Speaker 2:um, that's a great point because we know what we ended with. Last one, because it was awesome.
Speaker 1:Uh, six, nine well, six, nine, and I had three, six. You gave yourself three. No, tj gave me three and I graciously took them but you were the host.
Speaker 2:How did tj give you three?
Speaker 1:I graciously took them that's how you jerk so I had nine yes, alex had nine, but then he sassed me so he went down to six and then he kept trying to sass me.
Speaker 3:I sass you three times yeah I have uh, so alex's total is 11, yours is six. Alex had how many?
Speaker 1:he's 11 total oh, okay, wait, he got. He got five points, yeah, for what?
Speaker 3:no, I'm kidding, because I'm fucking awesome, minus one point for not paying attention. I'm joking, it's after hours. We don't do that here, except for that one time I just did that. Um, so this after hours, we are going to be taking the point of view of the killer, for I don't know how long we're gonna do that for you know, just just a little game. Um, alex, if you were to put yourself in the shoes of the killer, how would you have done it?
Speaker 2:stole her phone, took pictures of her, realized she was on her iCloud messenger system, so he texted her so she could see herself from her phone, which sucks Like. That's just creepy. That's just he was messing with her so bad. So all of that is good, good, good. I think he made the classic movie cliche blunder of just taking too long. He should have never gone back outside and made this such a long game, like clearly he wasn't into this so much with Sarah, like he just killed her. So why, maddie, why did he have to make such a big deal about?
Speaker 1:it.
Speaker 2:We don't know how long he was tormented it wasn't that long because it was almost an hour into the movie that John finally came and Sarah had said John will be home in an hour. Why don't you come over and watch a movie? John will be home in an hour, he could join us.
Speaker 1:I suppose so, but maybe she escaped faster than he expected her to. So he had to kill her because she went to a neighbor and he didn't know that she was mute and deaf yet maybe that's why he killed her, because he was like oh great, now I don't think that that makes enough sense because if if he's just killing like that, she gets away, she goes to her, her friend.
Speaker 2:He wasn't afraid of of another person witnessing this. Clearly he didn't care I think you're right.
Speaker 1:I think he metaphorically monologued too long.
Speaker 2:That's exactly. It was such a long monologue, just get to it. He should Right.
Speaker 1:Honestly, the moment where he was talking to John's dead body and he was like, should I just go end it now? He should have he should have just gone and ended it then, ah, you're right. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Nah, you're right. Yeah, no, I mean, it was. That was pure ego he was. He was so angry at her for putting up such a fight. And then this, this inconvenience of John showing up when he did. But that was, that was part of the problem. You took too long. If you would have done it, if you'd have just done it, you, you're gone, you're clear, by the time John shows up and you don't have to potentially fight. This guy and you guys both brought this up, which was a very valid point was, um, why did fucking uh maddie bang on the fucking door to alert john instead of? You know, I would go, maybe aim the bolt at the guy from upstairs, anyway, but that's Maddie.
Speaker 1:She wasn't very certain of her shot. When she was talking to herself, she brought up it's not a close-range weapon, but I have to be close if I'm going to get a shot. That's on her.
Speaker 2:The killer. Those are the things that I think would have been necessary. You're going to get away with this because the part of getting away with this is not the murder, it's after. So once he killed his victims, he should have been eliminating himself. He has way too many footprints all over the place, way too many fingerprints all over the place. He's touched everything all over the place. His blood is all over the place. He's touched everything. All over the place.
Speaker 2:His blood is all over the place no, I'm saying right at the beginning, oh right at the beginning, he he's not injured, he has not that we know of. Maybe sarah caused some damage, I don't know.
Speaker 1:We didn't see anything well, he was wearing a mask. He had a beanie on, so that would stop most hair right right, he, he, his shoes. There's only so much you can figure out with shoe prints. You just know what type of shoes and what shoe size the guy is. That's where. That's all he was wearing. He was wearing gloves boots is it's.
Speaker 2:It's tough because with boots you're you're getting into areas where they're rare enough that you can figure out which brand it is, what size it is. If you could figure that out.
Speaker 1:But even that doesn't narrow it down enough, not without other things to help you figure it out. I think he could have totally gotten away with it if that was his intention, but I don't think that was his intention.
Speaker 2:No, his intent was to cause as much pain as possible. He's a. He's a psychopath who gets off on sadism. So that would have been, that would have been it, but it's like. This is like a bank robber, you know, um, I don't know if you've ever seen the movie heat with, uh, robert de niro and val kilmer, but, um, it's like the or better yet. No, the one I was thinking of was a point break with patrick swayze and keanu reeves.
Speaker 1:Yes, I have seen that um good, go to the vault what do you mean?
Speaker 2:go to the vault? We never go to the vault. What do you mean? Go to the vault? We never go to the vault. Right, that's always your downfall when you go to the vault. And that's what this was. He was going to the vault. He should have either done away with it or bailed one or the other, but once he showed his face, he kind of locked himself in. He's going to have to do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and he just took too long. So I think that's our answer just don't metaphorically monologue, don't do the classic villain mistake.
Speaker 2:That's it. Don't get greedy with your sadism. You got to just carry it out and be done oh yeah, great answer, great answer your honor, I would have killed her faster so yeah, pretty good points, pretty good points.
Speaker 3:What we didn't bring up in the episode was he saved the cat. He was gonna kill the cat.
Speaker 1:She did save the cat, yeah, which, honestly, most fucked up thing he was gonna do the whole movie he said he was gonna nail it to the fucking door.
Speaker 3:But nah me, you kill my cat, it's over for you. That would have gave me the rage. Kill my friend, whatever you know, it's just a friend.
Speaker 1:You can make new friends tell the judge how you feel about cats I think cats are ninjas, whoa what'd you call me? What'd you?
Speaker 2:call the cat holy crap. No, no, no, no. I think your cat is a ninja not anymore.
Speaker 3:I strapped a bell to him it's like strapping a balloon to a turtle.
Speaker 2:See, you had to you had to do something to to? Oh yeah, no, that was slow down issue we?
Speaker 3:he kept fucking hiding and we didn't know where he was. So I was like, well, he has to get a bell.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, cats are freaking. I mean, they're monsters.
Speaker 1:I love cats.
Speaker 2:I mean they definitely serve their purpose. I had told Eric what I wanted to do when we had a house. I mean, thankfully we didn't have mice or rat problems, but in the neighborhood it was a lot of wildlife and so it was very easy for it to become a problem. I think it was actually the wildlife that saved us from the problem. But if we ever have that problem, what we're going to do is put out pet milk.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because I want the feral cats to come, but I don't want to feed them. I just want them to come to my house. I don't want them to eat here, I just want them to come to my house. I don't want them to eat here, I want them to hunt around here you give them milk.
Speaker 1:It encourages them to keep coming for a drink. It's like a treat. Yep, and then they get. They just hunt around your area, it's. They pay you back and they'll bring me their trophies cats are dope.
Speaker 3:I fucking love cats so what else are we going to talk about? Boys? It's very after hours after After Hours, After Hours podcast. We are at 12.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I mean we could go into politics and religion.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's banned from the vicinity of this podcast. No way.
Speaker 2:There is nothing banned from After Hours. We appreciate and encourage fighting on the after hours podcast no, I, I do agree.
Speaker 1:I think banning politics specifically because it just ends up being 40 minutes of me and you ranting and then tj at the end saying, but did I ask? Yeah, and then it literally becomes, when I edit or when tj edits, it's 40 minutes and after like minutes of it we just skip to the end of it and then cut it all. But why? Because it's not fun to listen to. Trust me, it's not entertaining at all.
Speaker 2:I can just turn this into a fucking like true crime podcast the after hours, yeah true crime thursday so how would you have done it if you true crime, you know, and that's that's not a bad one, because there's like all kinds of things that I see people think they can do to get away with crimes, like wear boots that are too big for them, but it's like no, the police know how to do that. They know how to how to see that.
Speaker 3:That's really cool. They can do that.
Speaker 2:How to get away with it crazy hey, I, I do have okay, I'm gonna put this out there because I have no intent of ever committing any kind of crime like this but one of the things that I had always thought of when I had gotten, uh, latex prosthetics done on my face it was for, uh, zombie makeup and the lady who did it was freaking awesome. But, um, one of the the things I had thought about was, if you're gonna go and rob a bank right, what's the best way to get the description uh, cleared right? You wear a little bit of a of a chubby suit. You make yourself a little bit heavier than you are, if you're. If you're 165, you make yourself look like 185, right. And then you do prosthetics on your face. You grow out your facial hair first. Then you put the prosthetics on your face, which covers all of your facial hair.
Speaker 2:Now you look like a clean-shaven individual and you go through with the deed and then, when you get away, you dispose of all of the all of the gear, right, you uh, best would be to burn it, but that can cause, that can draw some attention, unless you go somewhere where burning is legal, right, trash burning and you do that. You burn all your trash. You get rid of all of the, the dna, then you come back into the, the, into the public, and you're a full facial haired person, 20, 30 pounds lighter. I think that would be a pretty good way of changing your description. Now that won't get rid of everything, because you have a lot of other things to consider besides avoiding the what do you call it? Avoiding the eyewitness descriptions.
Speaker 1:I mean, I'm not even worried about that. I'm worried about one piece of your hair, and that could be it for you.
Speaker 2:Well, that's where bald caps, all of that stuff, have to go down.
Speaker 3:Okay, so this podcast we're planning the perfect bank heist, I think. If you are going into to rob a bank, yes, the mask thing is great, love that Perfect. But there's so much we should. We gotta, you know, think about like hair, right, so you gotta buy your own like. You gotta buy some brand new fucking clothes or go to like goodwill or fucking something. Get some some different clothes, different everything, because you know you'll have like little strands of yourself all over everything probably goodwill and buy it in cash. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Definitely, definitely but here's Rob, a homeless guy. You know Rob a Goodwill.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no, no. You don't rob a homeless guy. Here's what you do. You take your clothes to him. You give him your clothes and say, can I have yours? So you take the homeless guy's clothes, you frame him Because you don't want him to get pissed at you and all of a sudden be like, oh yeah, this guy came and you know. Then you come back and maybe drop a several c notes on him, say you shut your mouth, we never met, you know he doesn't know your name, but.
Speaker 2:But then I also have um. Another thing about that is and this is this is critical, but it's you got to be very careful because if you show up to the bank many times, they're going to be looking at you, but you have to be at the bank. You have to be very careful because if you show up to the bank many times, they're going to be looking at you, but you have to be at the bank. You have to be seen at the bank the day of or the day before, that way, when they go through and scour for evidence and they pull hairs or anything like that.
Speaker 1:It's plausible, I was at the bank yesterday. Yes, of course you found. You probably found a piece of my hair, duh.
Speaker 2:Like oh, we found your DNA. Well, I, I banked there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so scout it out.
Speaker 2:Doesn't surprise me.
Speaker 3:Maybe get an account there.
Speaker 2:Maybe you set up a big account, right, you set up a big account.
Speaker 1:I have no reason to rob it.
Speaker 2:You have to go back multiple times. So you're maybe you're doing a business loan transaction, I'm trying to get a business loan, and I'm I'm back in the bank multiple times like, oh, you need to bring us these documents. Okay, I'm gonna go get these documents and I'll bring them back, and you know, and oh, you could do this all online. Oh no, I, I know I can do that, but I just I want to. I want to meet somebody face to face. I don't want to do it behind a computer screen, oh that would.
Speaker 1:That would be the red flag of today's age.
Speaker 3:And then you put all of the money that you stole back in that bank and then they'll never know. They'll never know Well.
Speaker 2:the problem with that is they're all cereals.
Speaker 1:They'll never know.
Speaker 2:They're all cereal You're going to get busted.
Speaker 3:We need a getaway vehicle, so what's the best way to do that? I feel like Helicopter.
Speaker 2:That's too expensive.
Speaker 3:I feel like most stolen car. You fucking go find a Honda Civic somewhere and you junk it immediately right after.
Speaker 1:Or what if you get into a police?
Speaker 3:chase. You have separate, like drop, like you have other vehicles to get into at certain drop points. Oh man, that's some GTA shit when you get in one vehicle, fucking drive. You go through like a bunch of you know, like a fucking tunnel or something you know. Get in that other vehicle, drive out, have another one. Keep switching vehicles. They won't know which one you're in, you know.
Speaker 1:You ever seen those GTA 5 RP servers? Yeah, they do that shit all the time.
Speaker 3:Ooh great, I kind of like that. So you get to the bank, right, you ask them for a job, you fill out an application, you get the job at the bank, right. Uh-huh Give it, you know, 40, 50 years, they're paying you with the money from the bank.
Speaker 1:And then you know You're essentially robbing them, yeah.
Speaker 3:Basically, once you're like 70, clean, fucking getaway. That's true.
Speaker 2:You've just taken all of that money, quote unquote.
Speaker 1:Retire, quote unquote retire. They give you money and you don't even work there anymore. It's blind robbery.
Speaker 2:They don't even know what's happening Meanwhile, when you were there. You're there for eight hours, You're getting paid for eight hours, but you only give them like four hours worth of labor oh well, I'm also.
Speaker 2:I'm also spending an hour in the bathroom three hours worth of labor you got a shit on company time if we're gonna talk this way, then you have you ever seen office space? Okay, I get here at 8am, I sit and stare at my screen for about 15 minutes, then I'll do a little of this, a little of that. Then it's time for a coffee break and I go and I get my coffee and I stand around and talk for maybe another half an hour. Then I go back to my desk and stare at my screen again. By the time I get to the spreadsheets I input maybe a little bit of data and then it's time for lunch.
Speaker 2:I usually take longer than an hour and I get back, and by the time I get back I bullshit with some of the people in the offices. They're all coming back from lunch and we sit down, stare at my screen again, hang out there for a while. Maybe I'll shuffle some papers around on my desk to make it look like I'm doing something, then maybe work on the spreadsheet a little longer. By that time you know I've gotten up and gotten my afternoon coffee at least once, maybe twice, talk to some people along the way, including the boss. You know you can't let him think that you're not working. You know you're not busy. And then by the time, the day's over, I've put in maybe 15, 20 minutes of honest labor and uh, frankly, bobs, I don't give a shit I wish I could.
Speaker 1:I wish I could I pulled an 11 and a half hour day the other day now you got to go watch office space because it's fucking hilarious so, alex, since you are the winner, what's next week's episode?
Speaker 2:bullshit. Oh, let's see. I mean I am legend was actually my pick, but uh, you know, since you stole that from me, I'm pretty sure tj brought that up since you just robbed me, blind Are you sure you want to let this guy, who's accusing you of robbing, that feels racially motivated?
Speaker 3:I feel like you should give me the. I don't know if you deserve it.
Speaker 1:I feel like you should give me the win. I got a great idea.
Speaker 2:Okay, you wouldn't respect me if it wasn't done out of love.
Speaker 3:Oh, he loves me, Eric, More than he loves you probably.
Speaker 1:All right guys, hit us up on our socials.
Speaker 2:Like the son I never had. That's not even just offensive to me. He's got two sons. Oh yeah, you just hit Ollie right in the nuts too.
Speaker 1:Like the black son I never had Like the black son.
Speaker 2:I never had Like the black son, I never wanted.
Speaker 1:Like the black son, I always wanted so that I could say, and that's the end of After Hours, he's a rescue. He's a rescue, not even adopted you.