Hey Bride

Wedding Well-Being: Feeding Your Soul for a Joyful Wedding Planning Journey

• Amy Cloonan • Season 1 • Episode 4

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As our Wedding Well-being series comes to an end, let's unlock the transformative power of spiritual well-being! Today, you'll discover practices that bring joy, connection, and meaning to your wedding journey. These tools will not only soothe your soul during the planning process but will also create a strong foundation for a lifetime of love and fulfillment. Tune in and discover the secrets to a wedding that nourishes your spirit!

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If you want to feel more grounded, more connected to yourself and your partner, if you wish your wedding journey could be more about just checking things off the to do list, then this episode is for you. Today, you'll discover how spiritual practices can transform your wedding into a celebration of your heart, your values, and the love that brought you to this moment.

[00:00:24] And eventually we'll bring you to the altar. Hey bride, whether you just said yes to marrying the person of your dreams, or you're in the thick of planning your wedding, this is your podcast. I'm Amy, your go to life and wellness coach. And this isn't just a pep talk. It's our weekly heart to heart. We'll navigate the emotions that come with planning a wedding, share laughs.

[00:00:51] Swap stories and face the challenges head on. If you're new to Hey Bride, you're finding us at the end of our wedding well being series, which also happens to be the very beginning of what I think will become your go to podcast. If you feel disappointed by your experience planning your wedding so far, for sure, go back and listen to the first three episodes.

[00:01:18] The first is basically an overview on how well being affects your wedding experience and how self care can be a catalyst for improvement. Then in episode two and three, we talk about mind and body well being. Today, we're diving deep into the heart of your wedding journey. We're focusing on what makes you feel alive, what feeds your soul, and the connection you have with your highest self.

[00:01:43] That's right, bride. Today, we're talking about spiritual well being. I'm not talking about any specific religion here, but yes, absolutely include your faith if that's a core part of you. I just want to focus more on addressing our human nature to search for meaning. purpose and connection in life and help you to see how prioritizing your spiritual well being can positively impact not just the wedding, but all the moments that come before it and your life.

[00:02:14] When you're planning a wedding, it's easy to get lost in the logistics. Even if you're working with a planner, there's just a million things to manage. And if you're a do it yourself bride like I was, girl, I know that you're busy. I just want everyone to know, any bride who's listening or any person who's hoping to be a bride soon, your experience can be so much more than that.

[00:02:42] Throughout this episode, We're going to talk about how planning a wedding can help you to reflect on your values, align deeply to the purpose of the wedding, which is marriage, foster deeper connections, and manage stress and anxiety through rituals that promote mindfulness and meaning throughout your planning process.

[00:03:02] Today, I'm inviting you to partner with your higher self in ways maybe you've never thought to. We're going to just explore how bringing more awareness Mindfulness and intention into your wedding planning can also be a journey of personal growth and discovery. What a lot of brides don't think about is the fact that they are in a moment of life transition.

[00:03:28] Yes, you're planning a wedding. Yes, you're getting married, and also you're becoming a wife. What if you could find joy, meaning, and even a little fun in this process? That's where spiritual well being comes in, and that's what we're exploring today. Gratitude, appreciation, and focusing on positive aspects are three of the powerful tools you can use right now to experience more joy in your journey.

[00:03:58] And guess what? There are plenty of self care practices and rituals that focus on these things that are super easy, are not time consuming, and don't just enhance your wedding experience. They benefit different aspects of your life. Let's just start with a simple practice. That will change your life.

[00:04:19] Gratitude. I can say this with confidence because gratitude was a game changer for me. If you listened to the first episode of this series, you already know one of the things that helped me to turn my life around, create transformation for myself, and become the woman who has the confidence to sit in front of a mic and talk to you right now is a gratitude practice.

[00:04:44] There's even a short Roots Change podcast episode I recorded in 2021 called The Gift of Gratitude that talks about this. I'll link it in the show notes if you're curious or you want to check it out. Just know that gratitude isn't about saying thank you, although that's nice. It's really more about turning your focus towards the good things, big and small, noticing them.

[00:05:09] Like a spiritual muscle, it gets a lot stronger with practice. The more you do it, the easier it is to find those things, even on crazy stressful days that all brides understand and have. This doesn't mean we ignore our hardships. Gratitude is about choosing to see what's going well despite of them. It's a practice, which means you're not doing it all day long.

[00:05:36] Gratitude connects us to something bigger, whether you believe in a higher power, the universe, or simply the goodness in the world. Acknowledging what you have to be grateful for opens your heart and shifts your energy. It reminds you that even in spite of all this chaos, there's beauty and joy to be found.

[00:05:56] My gratitude practice takes on a lot of different forms, but here's one easy way that you can get started. Tomorrow morning, or hey, if you're not driving, you can totally do this right now. Grab a notebook and a pen, then choose a cozy spot. Think about your week, or even better, think about the last 24 hours.

[00:06:16] What are you grateful for right now? Think small. In what ways have the people in your life surprised you? Did your partner fill up your tank with gas so that you didn't have to stand out in the cold? Maybe your work bestie showed up with coffee and you never even asked. How did the universe line things up in a way that just made your day feel easier?

[00:06:39] Maybe it's finding this podcast. I don't know. I only know what I'm grateful for, so how about you? Give yourself, like, two or three minutes and just start writing these little things down. Tell me it doesn't feel good. You can't, because I know it does. You can't not feel a shift when you take time to reflect on all the good things going on for you.

[00:07:05] When you approach planning with an attitude of gratitude, those stressful moments become a little bit more bearable. You can easily notice and savor the small wins, like finding those Ling Flower arrangements you've had your eye on. at a fraction of the cost on Facebook Marketplace, or hearing back from your dream venue and it's a yes for the date that you want.

[00:07:30] Gratitude can even help you navigate the challenging parts too. It just kind of takes the sting out of the tough parts. And hey, that joy you cultivate in your life That's definitely something to be grateful for, too. There's another powerful tool that I think goes hand in hand with this. It's called appreciation.

[00:07:51] And no, they are not the same thing, but for me, they're treated equally. Gratitude is more about acknowledging the good things you already have, or have experienced. Appreciation involves actively noticing and valuing something. in the moment. Think about it like this. You might be grateful for a beautiful sunny day for your outdoor tented bridal shower, but by appreciating the way the sunlight actually warms your skin and how it makes the vases in your centerpiece sparkle, you can't not smile and think, wow, this is actually perfect.

[00:08:30] Can you feel how that might help you savor these moments? I can. Appreciation can do all that and more. I think appreciation helps me to be connected and just gives us more opportunities for joy. And ma'am, everything you go after in life is in the pursuit of feeling better. Joy and love are pretty much the apex of what that looks like.

[00:08:58] The same way you practice gratitude. And focus on the small and big things you also do with appreciation. You can use this for your entire wedding planning journey. God knows I did. It's what made it so stinking meaningful and fun for me. Imagine sitting down to address your invitations. Instead of rushing to get those envelopes stuffed, you appreciate the feel of the paper under your fingers, the elegance of the calligraphy, or the fonts that you used.

[00:09:29] Remember how you felt when you designed the layout or carefully selected your words. Imagine each person's reaction when they get it. This really was my secret sauce. When I respond to brides who are frustrated or struggling with this shit, I 100 percent of the time suggest they approach tasks like this.

[00:09:51] I hardly even remember the ceremony or the reception. I wasn't even drinking, so that's not an excuse. I had been throwing up the entire morning. But you know what I do remember? I remember sitting down at my own kitchen table, invitations in hand, thinking about how each person would experience receiving them.

[00:10:11] They were beautiful. I chose to do my own and created these trifold invitations that told a story of our wedding weekend. It tapped into my imagination, and I knew it was theirs. From the very moment you took it out of the envelope, it evoked some type of emotion. I thought it would make our loved ones feel good ahead of time, just like I was.

[00:10:37] Do you know how many people called or texted me telling me that this was the best invitation they ever received in their life? So many. It felt incredibly meaningful The whole time I did it from start to finish and it was a way to connect with the people I love and wanted to share this moment with.

[00:10:58] Getting our invitations out was anything but a chore. I actually will cherish that memory forever. And you know what else? That joy of creation fueled my excitement for the day itself, making me even more eager for my loved ones to experience that with me too. Now, about a year later to date, I get to experience that all over again because I'm talking to you.

[00:11:24] And that is how love and appreciation work. You, you might have missed it because I kind of said it fast. The invitations brought me so much joy. Not once, not twice, not even three times. I got to experience positive anticipation while I was creating them. It kept bringing me joy throughout the entire process.

[00:11:47] The feeling wasn't just for me. I wanted our guests to experience excitement when they received their invitation. And it worked. But it was about more than that. I wanted the whole wedding weekend to be infused with good vibes. Think of positive anticipation like the Swiss Army Knife of emotional well being and manifestation.

[00:12:08] It's got a tool for everything. It's like an elevator that takes you right up the emotional scale. So thinking of the wedding invitations, designing them, imagining everyone smiles when they got them, that was positive anticipation and action. That joy I felt while I created them wasn't just about the future event.

[00:12:29] It was an emotional payoff right now, and it fueled my excitement the whole way through. This is how positive anticipation works for your well being and as a manifestation tool. By imagining how great it will feel, you start vibrating on that same frequency. This attracts more good things to you. You feel it before you see it.

[00:12:50] There's a neuroscience angle I could run with too, but this path feels so much more fun for me, so we're just gonna go with it. Positive anticipation ties into a concept I first heard from a book called Asking It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks. They teach about deliberately focusing on the positive aspects of any situation and feeling good ahead of time.

[00:13:15] This practice aligns beautifully with this and it has two powerful benefits. It gives you an emotional boost. Focusing on the good things makes you feel better in the moment. And it puts you into vibrational alignment with what you want to create. According to their techniques and my own experience with this, these feelings These positive feelings help you attract more good things, more of what you want.

[00:13:44] Want to see how to put this into practice in a way that feels kind of natural? Stressed about the seating chart? Perfect! I'll use that as an example. Instead of spiraling into stress avil, here's a simple way to use both positive anticipation and focusing on positive aspects to shift your energy. Close your eyes for a minute and just imagine yourself on your wedding day.

[00:14:08] See your guests chatting and laughing at their tables, eavesdrop on them, see their smiles, hear the clinks of their glasses. Imagine the atmosphere, the delicious meal that's being enjoyed. Everyone's having a good time, thanks to your thoughtful planning, and the food is top notch. Feel the joy knowing that you created a night to remember for the people you love, or tap into the warmth in your heart knowing you helped create special moments of connection and laughter For me, this was everything.

[00:14:43] Adam and I realized right away that a single night wouldn't do. We needed three. I moved to Michigan in 2019, and most of my family lives a state away. So for us, the purpose of our wedding was threefold. Our commitment and promise to each other, having an opportunity to have meaningful connections with the people we love, and having one hell of a celebration.

[00:15:09] When I was struggling with the seating charts, I imagined the intention and purpose of our wedding weekend was fulfilled. It shifted how I felt, and it made it feel easier. Who's actually making this difficult? It was me. And then I asked my husband to help, and we got it done in an hour. Another way you can approach this is through a practice I learned in that book.

[00:15:31] To get started, you first need a few things. You'll want to select a journal or notebook that feels special to you. This will be your book of positive aspects. A place where you focus on all the good surrounding the wedding journey. The tools I use for things like this are dopamine hits. If you prefer something that delivers a little more pleasure like me, choose a beautiful notebook or journal that resonates with you.

[00:15:58] A mead notebook and boring ass BIC can also do the trick, but that makes my heart hurt. Why? Why do that when you can make it incredible? At the top of that first blank page, write the seeding chart. Then just start listing all the positive aspects. Like, what is special about it? What will be meaningful?

[00:16:20] Conversations? New connections? how you'll feel watching them interact with each other, the food that they're going to eat, just list anything positive at all that you can think of and just write it on that paper. How you feel is key. Even if you can only find a couple of positive aspects, the act of looking at them can just shift your mood.

[00:16:43] When you're feeling a little more positive, better solutions and ideas just kind of have a way of showing up. It's about aligning your vibration with the good things you want, and you can do this for anything that relates to your wedding or your life. Don't limit yourself to tasks. Definitely include your I do crew, which are all the people who are part of your celebration, especially the ones that support you, which means you're going to have a full page of positive aspects about you, your partner, your in laws, anybody, and everybody, this isn't just about thinking positively.

[00:17:18] It's about being receptive to that inner guidance. We all have that voice of wisdom inside us. our intuition, and it's here to help us every step of the way. So far, we've explored the power of gratitude, appreciation, positive anticipation, and focusing on positive aspects. These are powerful tools for finding joy and meaning in everyday moments of our journey.

[00:17:43] Now we're going to go a little deeper. We're going to look inward. Think about it. Wedding planning is full of decisions, both big and small. You're constantly analyzing options, considering opinions, and weighing what feels right for you or your partner. But where does the right answer come from? Yeah, there's logic and research, but have you considered tapping into the wisdom within yourself?

[00:18:08] That, my friend, is your intuition. I like to describe intuition as that inner voice, that inexplicable hunch, a subtle nudge that can help you navigate big decisions, even in everyday choices as you prepare for the wedding. It's not external, it's coming from inside of me. For all you human design nerds out there, if you listened to the last episode, You know I'm a fan, so I'm going there.

[00:18:33] As someone who's learning to trust and follow her sacral authority, I've seen firsthand how profound intuition is for my decision making. For me, that gut wisdom is like an internal compass that helps me to navigate life's choices with confidence and clarity. The sacral speaks through clear body signals, a spontaneous yes feeling or no response.

[00:18:59] Sometimes, I even notice that my head literally makes a yes or no movement. I might even groan or growl if I'm not a fan of something, or clap my hands or howl if it's a hell yes for me. I used to think that that was weird, but as it turns out, it's my innate truth coming through loud and clear, urging me to honor myself.

[00:19:24] Even though my sacral authority gives me clear yes or no signals, I'm still learning to trust that gut wisdom. Intuition tends to speak in more subtler ways, like gentle nudges that grow stronger the more patient I am. Unfortunately, years of ignoring my own inner compass led me to make some not so great decisions in my life.

[00:19:50] That's why at first, I almost made a wrong decision in choosing our wedding venue. I say I know it was wrong because I know the one that we went with was right. So what happened was, I wanted to move through some of these really big decisions quickly. Once our budget was set and I finally felt comfortable with it, because at first I was not, the next big decision to get done was to decide on the venue.

[00:20:17] Adam and I decided right away that we didn't have some hang up on a date. What mattered to us most was the experience. The venue would be the canvas that we would use to create it. So, it mattered, at least to me, a lot. If you listened last week, you know that I tend to be a nervous nelly, and I'm always having to regulate my nervous system.

[00:20:41] Anxiety gets kicked up for me pretty quickly. Having big decisions looming does not help. It does not sound appealing and I just like to get them over and done with. So we had spent a few hours together in bed over the course of a weekend looking at different venues online, checking out the reviews, the galleries, and getting a feel for the price.

[00:21:05] There was one that stood out to us both. It was about 40 miles from our home. It was a historical site and it was gorgeous. I called that following Monday and scheduled us a tour. The next weekend as we drove up, we were immediately blown away. It was tucked away on a lake, it felt incredibly private, it had on site accommodations for 30, and the building where our reception would be held was just freaking incredible.

[00:21:34] The icing on the cake was that we could pretty much book everything that we needed directly through them, making it pretty much all inclusive. We were almost instantly a hell yes. The woman helping us sat us down at the table, walked us through the pricing, their booking process, drew us up a quote, stuffed it in a nice folder with some brochures.

[00:21:56] We had the must book by date and were handed a set of keys to go explore the building for the on site housing. Adam and I were like, to kids. I mean, we were giddy. This was a pretty special moment, and if you've already booked your venue, you know what I'm talking about. We get to this building where 30 people could sleep, figured out how to work the door, and we walked in.

[00:22:22] Remember that part about this venue being a historical site? Well, that's not always a great thing when you think about where you will be There was no air conditioning. There were ceiling fans and only a couple of rooms. There were shared bathrooms in each hall and no real place for us to congregate.

[00:22:45] But I wanted to get this done and over with. The hall was so beautiful. I figured we could just squeeze some lemonade out of these lemons yet. But the truth was this place was not ideal. We were talking ourselves into settling. I mean, me, I was ignoring all the signals my guidance system was sending. But Adam likes to take his time with big decisions and ask that I give it 48 hours before committing.

[00:23:16] So I did. That second day while he was at work, I couldn't ditch this weird nagging feeling that maybe this wasn't the only option for us. Maybe, just maybe, there was something even better. So I caved. I did something I never do once I make a decision. I did some more research. I got super specific with a Google search to see if the property I envisioned existed and if by chance I could find it in Michigan.

[00:23:48] I searched for any type of venue. One that we could book for three days, was secluded on a lake, and would have the amenities our guests and us would need for our own comfort. I found one. Sojourn Lakeside Resort. I loved everything about this place. The reviews, the pictures, even the history. What made it so different were the amenities.

[00:24:14] 20 beautiful rooms. All that looked like a hotel, and some could fit families of five very comfortably. There was a pool, a nice beach, a patio equipped with tables and chair, you could rent their pontoon. We had access to the entire property for the duration of our stay, which included a lounge area where people would sleep, had a few kitchen tables, a couch, bookshelves, games, two coffee pots, a microwave, and a full size fridge.

[00:24:46] Then there was the hall, which they called the Lodge. We had access to the reception area, the bar, and the lounge in that building. Plus, it had a full kitchen. It even had an industrial grill and cost less than the venue we were about to book. Can you believe I said nothing to him? How I didn't call Adam immediately still amazes me.

[00:25:13] I think it was my pride because I was so adamant that we had already found the right place. I was being stubborn. That night we crawled into bed and I, like, our intent was to fill out the paperwork for the other place and pay the deposit. So, as Adam was typing in his banking information for the deposit, he turned and looked at me and said, Amy, if this is the place you want for our wedding, I'm in.

[00:25:43] I'm just going to ask you one more time. Are you sure this is it? The words that followed went like this. Well, actually, I was online today and I found a resort in Gaylord, Michigan that kinda has everything. He cut me off right there and said, show me. We booked with them, sight unseen, two days later. This is not a made up story.

[00:26:08] So brides, getting in tune with your own body's guidance system, paying attention to your gut response, and the quieter, intuitive whispers can not only transform wedding planning into an authentic, joyful journey, it can save you from making huge mistakes. As you make your way through choices and voices, remember to pause.

[00:26:32] Listen to those gut signals and intuitive nudges and trust the profound wisdom within you. This isn't about planning a wedding. It's about creating a celebration that resonates the very core of your being. Tuning in to your intuition connects you more deeply to yourself, your partner, and the very purpose behind it all.

[00:26:55] You hate to be thinking about now. Okay, Amy. I get it. But how? How do I actually hear this inner voice you're talking about? I know it sounds real woo woo, but we all have one. Before I start dropping the gems about how you can learn to listen to your inner guidance system a little more effectively, I think it's important to address self reflection and how creating a sacred space for yourself can help with that.

[00:27:27] When you're planning a wedding, life in general can feel really hectic. Most of the time, what's causing brides to feel overwhelmed is actually what's taking place in their mind. That's why carving out a dedicated time for self reflection is essential to your well being. It doesn't have to be super fancy, or even an entire room.

[00:27:51] It can be a corner of your bedroom with some cozy pillows, your favorite park bench, or even a spot on your couch. Mine happens to be the left side of our love seat in the living room. It's arm's reach to an end table. My altar sits at the center of the coffee table in front of me. Even in my household of six, that corner of our couch is a sacred space for me at different moments in the day, like the morning.

[00:28:20] The key here is to create a consistent space where you can pause, breathe, and reconnect with yourself. It's a place where the noise of the world, and sometimes the noise of your own thoughts, can be silenced. It's a place where you can freely express and explore your feelings. It's the place in my home where I dig deep and work through the hard stuff.

[00:28:42] By prioritizing time and space for yourself, you're affirming your worth and the importance of the relationship you have with yourself, your inner being, your highest self. your soul, whatever word you choose to use to describe that part of you. This act of self care is very empowering and it reminds you that regardless of what you're facing, you're the central character in your life story.

[00:29:09] I hope that by listening to me talk about this, it has you thinking about where that special place for reflection might be for you. Now I think we're ready to talk about some ways to Tap into your intuition within that space. Let's talk about the tools in your toolkit. All the different ways that you can tune into yourself.

[00:29:31] And before I even begin, know that this is not all inclusive and my way isn't the best way. These are just things that I use myself and so know that they help. Find out what feels best for you. So the first that I'm going to talk about is meditation. I know how helpful meditation can be, but consistency is a challenge.

[00:29:57] It's a practice that I'm committed to. I want it to be part of my daily ritual. part of my routine because I understand the benefits. If you're like me and you get distracted easily or you have a weird relationship with your breath or a lot of anxiety, I'm just here to encourage that you try. And also, I will too.

[00:30:22] I feel like I can use my advice for you as advice for myself, and this podcast is my accountability. If you don't know how to meditate, it's not hard. That's not the hard part, per se. The meditation practice is easy. It's the meditative state that I sometimes struggle with. Maybe just start with five minutes.

[00:30:47] If it's difficult to find stillness on your own, try a guided meditation app like Headspace or Calm. I know Calm has a 30 day intro to meditation that I've done before. It's perfect for beginners. I even think you get a few weeks free, so I will share it in the show note. What's important is that you just keep coming back to this practice, which is where I keep going wrong.

[00:31:12] The commitment is where I've been struggling. Can we just decide ahead of time that we're not going to be hard on ourselves? Can we remember that practice makes progress? In my own journey, I like to find evidence that something's working because it helps me to come back to things that feel hard. So journal about your experience.

[00:31:34] Notice how it feels a little different after a couple of weeks. What insights are you having in the hours or days that follow? Be curious. It's actually very interesting, the things that come up. Deep breathing exercises is another very effective way to calm your mind. I do them throughout my day just to keep myself regulated and release tension.

[00:31:57] My favorites are elongated exhalations, which I may or may not have shared with you in episode 1 or 2. But another one I love and use often is called alternate nostril breathing. It's a calming yoga breathing practice where you close one nostril with a thumb or a forefinger and inhale through the other nostril.

[00:32:18] Then you switch nostrils and exhale. Yoga with Adrian has a video on YouTube for this. I use it a lot. So I'll link that in the show notes for you, too. If you happen to be a person who prefers movement for this, a short walk outside can also quiet your mind, give you clarity and perspective. Plus, it just feels good in general.

[00:32:41] I take at least two walks a day. The difference is when your purpose for a walk is a mindful moment, you pay attention to your senses and the environment around you. You could also add in some appreciation and uplevel the whole experience. I will share that in another episode, but I do, I take gratitude walks and appreciation walks.

[00:33:04] It's like a super moving experience. The very last technique I want to steer you towards today is journaling. When I started doing this every day, it felt really weird. I didn't know what the hell to write. It's like, okay, I'm a little old for a diary. I started with gratitude, and you can too. After a few days of listing out five things you're grateful for every morning, start to sprinkle in some prompts, like these.

[00:33:35] What's one thing bringing me joy about the wedding right now? Which decision or aspect of the wedding feels effortless to me? What's one decision I feel uncertain about? What does my intuition say? What's one small thing about the wedding that brings me pure joy? If I could ask my intuition one question about my wedding, what would it be?

[00:33:58] Or, how am I managing the stress of planning my wedding? I am full of ideas. As a life coach for brides, asking questions like this is my jam. If you're all in on this, but could use a little inspiration, Send me a DM on social or shoot over an email and ask for help. I will send you a whole month's worth.

[00:34:21] Intuition strengthens with practice, just like any other skill. The more you use the tools, the easier it gets to hear the inner wisdom that's guiding you. Now, let's talk about how your closest relationships can also be a source of guidance, especially during stressful times. Like planning a wedding. It's extremely important that you surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you.

[00:34:50] The people in your life that radiate positivity and offer understanding. Bride. These are your safe space people. The ones who listen without judgment. Offer a shoulder to lean on. Or even help with wedding tasks. Nurture those relationships. Ask them to be a go to person for you during this journey. Tell them what you need, whether it's a listening ear, help, or some fun.

[00:35:18] And remember, it's perfectly okay to protect your peace, protect your energy. If someone in your life isn't adding to your joy, do not feel pressured to share every freaking detail with them. You don't have to share anything with anybody besides your partner, and your well being matters most. So if you haven't already, this is your official invitation to go find your support system.

[00:35:45] The next thing I want to talk about is heartfelt conversation. This is so important to me. When I first moved to Michigan, I decided that I was going to manifest some friendships. I was going to build the friendships that I have always wanted and didn't think I could have. One of the things on my list.

[00:36:06] of these people was that I could have heartfelt conversations with them. Hopefully, you have some of those people in your life. I just want to talk to you about how to nurture deep, meaningful connections, especially with your partner. Heartfelt conversations are more than just sharing information, venting, or expressing your feelings.

[00:36:27] They're more about connecting with someone on a deeper level, showing vulnerability. By doing that, you build strong bonds. I truly believe that these types of conversations are the cornerstone of the relationships that feed your soul, which is why I desperately needed them. I hadn't ever really had them in my life.

[00:36:49] So, how can we make communication truly nurturing? I have some tips. First, you're going to want to create a comfortable environment for the conversation to take place. Express your intention, which is to have an open, honest conversation. If you want their advice, you might say something like, Hey, I really value your perspective and I'd love to share some thoughts with you about the wedding.

[00:37:16] Don't just keep talking and dive right in. You have to wait for them to respond. I'm going to just assume that they say yes, of course you can. The next part is a biggie. As you continue talking and they respond to what you're saying, resist the urge to think ahead. I used to have this very bad habit of while someone was giving me the advice I asked for or sharing a perspective, already thinking of what I want to say in response to it.

[00:37:49] Instead, get what you asked for. Focus on truly understanding their perspective. Take in their advice, ask them questions and be open. If you feel defensive about something that they say, ask more questions to get a better understanding, be willing to share with vulnerability. Be open with your feelings and share your own thoughts and emotions honestly.

[00:38:14] Don't hold back out of fear that they might think something weird about you or might judge you. A lot of times brides go into Facebook groups asking for help or venting but then ending it with an open ended question. and then feel judged by how people respond. I know this because they'll post again in an hour and tag the original post and literally say, I feel a little judged.

[00:38:36] If you don't want to be that person triggering somebody feeling like that, which how other people feel is not your responsibility, but. There could be a different way for you to help them. Frame your sentences around your own experience and feelings to avoid sounding accusatory. As a coach, this is a skill that I've mastered, but conversations with my partner don't always go so well.

[00:39:00] Why? Because I'm human, and so is he. We have lots of emotions and brains that spin some wild ass stories. For the purpose of protecting us. So, if your mom keeps asking about details that you just don't have yet, and it's stressing you the fuck out, you might want to say, Hey mom, I feel a little overwhelmed when you ask me about whatever.

[00:39:25] Because my brain immediately goes to thoughts like I'm so behind or I should have already done this. There's just so much to do or I, I'm failing at planning my wedding. Tell her that you feel like shit. It's not because of her. It's because of the stories your brain is telling and I can almost guarantee That you will see a shift in your mother's questioning.

[00:39:49] She's going to have empathy and compassion and understanding for what you're going through. Another thing you want to remember to do is to encourage their own expression. Invite them to share their thoughts. My husband seriously struggles with communication. He struggles with that. talking about things, especially if we're having a conflict.

[00:40:09] So I have to ask him open ended questions to get him to talk. Hey babe, how did it make you feel when I just told you that? Or what thoughts does that bring up? You also have to validate their feelings, even if you don't necessarily agree with their perspective or perceived reality of the event. We can both be going through the same thing and have a completely different experience with it.

[00:40:36] So, one of the less cool things about having ADHD is this ridiculously heightened sensitivity to rejection. No one has formally diagnosed me as having rejection sensitive dysphoria and honestly they don't have to because I know what I feel and I feel it very deeply and sometimes it frankly feels like death and I know it shouldn't like if someone tells me no or share something that feels confronting to me my brain automatically Starts sending me messages that make me feel like I've done something wrong.

[00:41:10] I'm being abandoned and they don't want me in their life. It's Terrible and it's just something that I have to manage. So when I share Validating my feelings by saying something like I understand why you would feel that way It helps me to feel safe, seen, and loved. It's huge for me, and I'm sure it's a big deal for you, too.

[00:41:32] So lastly, show the people who are willing to be vulnerable and open to having a heartfelt conversation with you some stinking gratitude. Show them that you appreciate them. At the end of your conversation, thank them for being willing to be open with you. Tell them how important it was that they were someone that you could be real and raw with.

[00:41:54] Remember that even the most well intentioned conversations with the most supportive people won't always be sunshine and roses. That's okay. We can have disagreements and conflict. By practicing these steps, you'll create a safe space within your relationship where vulnerability falls. flourishes where you can have hard conversations and still love each other.

[00:42:19] This allows you to truly connect, navigate challenges with understanding, and build an unshakable foundation for your future, which is why I think it's really important for you and your partner. We've covered a lot of ground today. At least I think we have. I really hope that this episode stirred something in you.

[00:42:39] and that you put something you learn into practice. My greatest goal, though, was that you take this entire wedding well being series and you use it to create the wedding experience you want and deserve because, honey, I know you can. I see firsthand how prioritizing well being and practicing self care is a catalyst for change and transformation.

[00:43:04] Not just in this journey to your wedding, but in your life. So remember the keys that you learned today as you navigate your own, connect with your inner voice, your intuition, find joy in every step, acknowledging and appreciating the present moment, the excitement of what's to come and the gratitude for what you already have experienced.

[00:43:27] Connect with your inner being, that inner voice. Let your intuition be your guide and don't forget about the power of connection. Surround yourself with supportive people and nurture those relationships through open and honest, heartfelt communication. As I wrap up today's episode and this wedding well being series, I'm going to leave you with a little nudge towards taking some action.

[00:43:54] This journey that we're on together is about more than just listening. It's about doing, feeling, and transforming. So here's your invitation to dive deeper and make these insights your own. If you haven't already, sign up for the Hey Bride newsletter. It's a weekly dose of inspiration, tips, and stories.

[00:44:17] Little love notes from a coach who cares and wants to keep you motivated and supported on your wedding wellness journey. The little piece of the podcast in your inbox every week, reminding you to prioritize your well being in the middle of the planning. I'm always inviting people to go into conversations with me.

[00:44:35] So if you want a heartfelt conversation, here's a place where you can start one. I'm all about building community. And the very first email you get is an invitation to tell me about your own journey, to tell me what you're celebrating and what you're struggling with. Then I respond to it with a resource I feel might help.

[00:44:55] And if you want to take action on what you learned over the course of this series and begin to prioritize yourself and your wellbeing in new ways, sign up for the 30 day self care challenge for brides. It's free. It's easy. And it comes into your inbox. It's a simple, powerful way to integrate these types of practices into your daily life.

[00:45:15] If you want to prioritize yourself in new ways, but you don't know what will work for you, just start here. Try some things out, commit to one thing a day. That's all it takes to make a difference. But if you feel called to explore this on an even deeper level, I'm here for it. I'm ready for you, Bride. Book a coaching consultation.

[00:45:37] Let's talk. Let's come up with your personal plan together. Let me be your guide and your go to person. There you have it. Three ways for you to take action today. To show up for yourself. To feel better. Make sure you tune in next week. This series might be done, but Hey Bride is just getting started. Until the next time you are loved, you are capable, and you are deserving of your dream wedding journey.

[00:46:09] If you want to feel more grounded, more connected to yourself and your partner, if you wish your wedding journey could be more about just checking things off the to do list, then this episode is for you. Today, you'll discover how spiritual practices can transform your wedding into a celebration of your heart, your values, and the love that brought you to this moment.

[00:46:33] And eventually we'll bring you to the altar. Hey bride, whether you just said yes to marrying the person of your dreams, or you're in the thick of planning your wedding, this is your podcast. I'm Amy, your go to life and wellness coach. And this isn't just a pep talk. It's our weekly heart to heart. We'll navigate the emotions that come with planning a wedding, share laughs.

[00:47:00] Swap stories and face the challenges head on. If you're new to Hey Bride, you're finding us at the end of our wedding well being series, which also happens to be the very beginning of what I think will become your go to podcast. If you feel disappointed by your experience planning your wedding so far, for sure, go back and listen to the first three episodes.

[00:47:27] The first is basically an overview on how well being affects your wedding experience and how self care can be a catalyst for improvement. Then in episode two and three, we talk about mind and body well being. Today, we're diving deep into the heart of your wedding journey. We're focusing on what makes you feel alive, what feeds your soul, and the connection you have with your highest self.

[00:47:52] That's right, bride. Today, we're talking about spiritual well being. I'm not talking about any specific religion here, but yes, absolutely include your faith if that's a core part of you. I just want to focus more on addressing our human nature to search for meaning. purpose and connection in life and help you to see how prioritizing your spiritual well being can positively impact not just the wedding, but all the moments that come before it and your life.

[00:48:23] When you're planning a wedding, it's easy to get lost in the logistics. Even if you're working with a planner, there's just a million things to manage. And if you're a do it yourself bride like I was, girl, I know that you're busy. I just want everyone to know, any bride who's listening or any person who's hoping to be a bride soon, your experience can be so much more than that.

[00:48:51] Throughout this episode, We're going to talk about how planning a wedding can help you to reflect on your values, align deeply to the purpose of the wedding, which is marriage, foster deeper connections, and manage stress and anxiety through rituals that promote mindfulness and meaning throughout your planning process.

[00:49:11] Today, I'm inviting you to partner with your higher self in ways maybe you've never thought to. We're going to just explore how bringing more awareness Mindfulness and intention into your wedding planning can also be a journey of personal growth and discovery. What a lot of brides don't think about is the fact that they are in a moment of life transition.

[00:49:37] Yes, you're planning a wedding. Yes, you're getting married, and also you're becoming a wife. What if you could find joy, meaning, and even a little fun in this process? That's where spiritual well being comes in, and that's what we're exploring today. Gratitude, appreciation, and focusing on positive aspects are three of the powerful tools you can use right now to experience more joy in your journey.

[00:50:07] And guess what? There are plenty of self care practices and rituals that focus on these things that are super easy, are not time consuming, and don't just enhance your wedding experience. They benefit different aspects of your life. Let's just start with a simple practice. That will change your life.

[00:50:28] Gratitude. I can say this with confidence because gratitude was a game changer for me. If you listened to the first episode of this series, you already know one of the things that helped me to turn my life around, create transformation for myself, and become the woman who has the confidence to sit in front of a mic and talk to you right now is a gratitude practice.

[00:50:53] There's even a short Roots Change podcast episode I recorded in 2021 called The Gift of Gratitude that talks about this. I'll link it in the show notes if you're curious or you want to check it out. Just know that gratitude isn't about saying thank you, although that's nice. It's really more about turning your focus towards the good things, big and small, noticing them.

[00:51:18] Like a spiritual muscle, it gets a lot stronger with practice. The more you do it, the easier it is to find those things, even on crazy stressful days that all brides understand and have. This doesn't mean we ignore our hardships. Gratitude is about choosing to see what's going well despite of them. It's a practice, which means you're not doing it all day long.

[00:51:45] Gratitude connects us to something bigger, whether you believe in a higher power, the universe, or simply the goodness in the world. Acknowledging what you have to be grateful for opens your heart and shifts your energy. It reminds you that even in spite of all this chaos, there's beauty and joy to be found.

[00:52:05] My gratitude practice takes on a lot of different forms, but here's one easy way that you can get started. Tomorrow morning, or hey, if you're not driving, you can totally do this right now. Grab a notebook and a pen, then choose a cozy spot. Think about your week, or even better, think about the last 24 hours.

[00:52:25] What are you grateful for right now? Think small. In what ways have the people in your life surprised you? Did your partner fill up your tank with gas so that you didn't have to stand out in the cold? Maybe your work bestie showed up with coffee and you never even asked. How did the universe line things up in a way that just made your day feel easier?

[00:52:48] Maybe it's finding this podcast. I don't know. I only know what I'm grateful for, so how about you? Give yourself, like, two or three minutes and just start writing these little things down. Tell me it doesn't feel good. You can't, because I know it does. You can't not feel a shift when you take time to reflect on all the good things going on for you.

[00:53:14] When you approach planning with an attitude of gratitude, those stressful moments become a little bit more bearable. You can easily notice and savor the small wins, like finding those Ling Flower arrangements you've had your eye on. at a fraction of the cost on Facebook Marketplace, or hearing back from your dream venue and it's a yes for the date that you want.

[00:53:39] Gratitude can even help you navigate the challenging parts too. It just kind of takes the sting out of the tough parts. And hey, that joy you cultivate in your life That's definitely something to be grateful for, too. There's another powerful tool that I think goes hand in hand with this. It's called appreciation.

[00:54:00] And no, they are not the same thing, but for me, they're treated equally. Gratitude is more about acknowledging the good things you already have, or have experienced. Appreciation involves actively noticing and valuing something. in the moment. Think about it like this. You might be grateful for a beautiful sunny day for your outdoor tented bridal shower, but by appreciating the way the sunlight actually warms your skin and how it makes the vases in your centerpiece sparkle, you can't not smile and think, wow, this is actually perfect.

[00:54:39] Can you feel how that might help you savor these moments? I can. Appreciation can do all that and more. I think appreciation helps me to be connected and just gives us more opportunities for joy. And ma'am, everything you go after in life is in the pursuit of feeling better. Joy and love are pretty much the apex of what that looks like.

[00:55:07] The same way you practice gratitude. And focus on the small and big things you also do with appreciation. You can use this for your entire wedding planning journey. God knows I did. It's what made it so stinking meaningful and fun for me. Imagine sitting down to address your invitations. Instead of rushing to get those envelopes stuffed, you appreciate the feel of the paper under your fingers, the elegance of the calligraphy, or the fonts that you used.

[00:55:38] Remember how you felt when you designed the layout or carefully selected your words. Imagine each person's reaction when they get it. This really was my secret sauce. When I respond to brides who are frustrated or struggling with this shit, I 100 percent of the time suggest they approach tasks like this.

[00:56:00] I hardly even remember the ceremony or the reception. I wasn't even drinking, so that's not an excuse. I had been throwing up the entire morning. But you know what I do remember? I remember sitting down at my own kitchen table, invitations in hand, thinking about how each person would experience receiving them.

[00:56:20] They were beautiful. I chose to do my own and created these trifold invitations that told a story of our wedding weekend. It tapped into my imagination, and I knew it was theirs. From the very moment you took it out of the envelope, it evoked some type of emotion. I thought it would make our loved ones feel good ahead of time, just like I was.

[00:56:46] Do you know how many people called or texted me telling me that this was the best invitation they ever received in their life? So many. It felt incredibly meaningful The whole time I did it from start to finish and it was a way to connect with the people I love and wanted to share this moment with.

[00:57:07] Getting our invitations out was anything but a chore. I actually will cherish that memory forever. And you know what else? That joy of creation fueled my excitement for the day itself, making me even more eager for my loved ones to experience that with me too. Now, about a year later to date, I get to experience that all over again because I'm talking to you.

[00:57:33] And that is how love and appreciation work. You, you might have missed it because I kind of said it fast. The invitations brought me so much joy. Not once, not twice, not even three times. I got to experience positive anticipation while I was creating them. It kept bringing me joy throughout the entire process.

[00:57:56] The feeling wasn't just for me. I wanted our guests to experience excitement when they received their invitation. And it worked. But it was about more than that. I wanted the whole wedding weekend to be infused with good vibes. Think of positive anticipation like the Swiss Army Knife of emotional well being and manifestation.

[00:58:17] It's got a tool for everything. It's like an elevator that takes you right up the emotional scale. So thinking of the wedding invitations, designing them, imagining everyone smiles when they got them, that was positive anticipation and action. That joy I felt while I created them wasn't just about the future event.

[00:58:38] It was an emotional payoff right now, and it fueled my excitement the whole way through. This is how positive anticipation works for your well being and as a manifestation tool. By imagining how great it will feel, you start vibrating on that same frequency. This attracts more good things to you. You feel it before you see it.

[00:58:59] There's a neuroscience angle I could run with too, but this path feels so much more fun for me, so we're just gonna go with it. Positive anticipation ties into a concept I first heard from a book called Asking It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks. They teach about deliberately focusing on the positive aspects of any situation and feeling good ahead of time.

[00:59:24] This practice aligns beautifully with this and it has two powerful benefits. It gives you an emotional boost. Focusing on the good things makes you feel better in the moment. And it puts you into vibrational alignment with what you want to create. According to their techniques and my own experience with this, these feelings These positive feelings help you attract more good things, more of what you want.

[00:59:53] Want to see how to put this into practice in a way that feels kind of natural? Stressed about the seating chart? Perfect! I'll use that as an example. Instead of spiraling into stress avil, here's a simple way to use both positive anticipation and focusing on positive aspects to shift your energy. Close your eyes for a minute and just imagine yourself on your wedding day.

[01:00:17] See your guests chatting and laughing at their tables, eavesdrop on them, see their smiles, hear the clinks of their glasses. Imagine the atmosphere, the delicious meal that's being enjoyed. Everyone's having a good time, thanks to your thoughtful planning, and the food is top notch. Feel the joy knowing that you created a night to remember for the people you love, or tap into the warmth in your heart knowing you helped create special moments of connection and laughter For me, this was everything.

[01:00:52] Adam and I realized right away that a single night wouldn't do. We needed three. I moved to Michigan in 2019, and most of my family lives a state away. So for us, the purpose of our wedding was threefold. Our commitment and promise to each other, having an opportunity to have meaningful connections with the people we love, and having one hell of a celebration.

[01:01:18] When I was struggling with the seating charts, I imagined the intention and purpose of our wedding weekend was fulfilled. It shifted how I felt, and it made it feel easier. Who's actually making this difficult? It was me. And then I asked my husband to help, and we got it done in an hour. Another way you can approach this is through a practice I learned in that book.

[01:01:40] To get started, you first need a few things. You'll want to select a journal or notebook that feels special to you. This will be your book of positive aspects. A place where you focus on all the good surrounding the wedding journey. The tools I use for things like this are dopamine hits. If you prefer something that delivers a little more pleasure like me, choose a beautiful notebook or journal that resonates with you.

[01:02:07] A mead notebook and boring ass BIC can also do the trick, but that makes my heart hurt. Why? Why do that when you can make it incredible? At the top of that first blank page, write the seeding chart. Then just start listing all the positive aspects. Like, what is special about it? What will be meaningful?

[01:02:29] Conversations? New connections? how you'll feel watching them interact with each other, the food that they're going to eat, just list anything positive at all that you can think of and just write it on that paper. How you feel is key. Even if you can only find a couple of positive aspects, the act of looking at them can just shift your mood.

[01:02:52] When you're feeling a little more positive, better solutions and ideas just kind of have a way of showing up. It's about aligning your vibration with the good things you want, and you can do this for anything that relates to your wedding or your life. Don't limit yourself to tasks. Definitely include your I do crew, which are all the people who are part of your celebration, especially the ones that support you, which means you're going to have a full page of positive aspects about you, your partner, your in laws, anybody, and everybody, this isn't just about thinking positively.

[01:03:27] It's about being receptive to that inner guidance. We all have that voice of wisdom inside us. our intuition, and it's here to help us every step of the way. So far, we've explored the power of gratitude, appreciation, positive anticipation, and focusing on positive aspects. These are powerful tools for finding joy and meaning in everyday moments of our journey.

[01:03:52] Now we're going to go a little deeper. We're going to look inward. Think about it. Wedding planning is full of decisions, both big and small. You're constantly analyzing options, considering opinions, and weighing what feels right for you or your partner. But where does the right answer come from? Yeah, there's logic and research, but have you considered tapping into the wisdom within yourself?

[01:04:17] That, my friend, is your intuition. I like to describe intuition as that inner voice, that inexplicable hunch, a subtle nudge that can help you navigate big decisions, even in everyday choices as you prepare for the wedding. It's not external, it's coming from inside of me. For all you human design nerds out there, if you listened to the last episode, You know I'm a fan, so I'm going there.

[01:04:42] As someone who's learning to trust and follow her sacral authority, I've seen firsthand how profound intuition is for my decision making. For me, that gut wisdom is like an internal compass that helps me to navigate life's choices with confidence and clarity. The sacral speaks through clear body signals, a spontaneous yes feeling or no response.

[01:05:08] Sometimes, I even notice that my head literally makes a yes or no movement. I might even groan or growl if I'm not a fan of something, or clap my hands or howl if it's a hell yes for me. I used to think that that was weird, but as it turns out, it's my innate truth coming through loud and clear, urging me to honor myself.

[01:05:33] Even though my sacral authority gives me clear yes or no signals, I'm still learning to trust that gut wisdom. Intuition tends to speak in more subtler ways, like gentle nudges that grow stronger the more patient I am. Unfortunately, years of ignoring my own inner compass led me to make some not so great decisions in my life.

[01:05:59] That's why at first, I almost made a wrong decision in choosing our wedding venue. I say I know it was wrong because I know the one that we went with was right. So what happened was, I wanted to move through some of these really big decisions quickly. Once our budget was set and I finally felt comfortable with it, because at first I was not, the next big decision to get done was to decide on the venue.

[01:06:26] Adam and I decided right away that we didn't have some hang up on a date. What mattered to us most was the experience. The venue would be the canvas that we would use to create it. So, it mattered, at least to me, a lot. If you listened last week, you know that I tend to be a nervous nelly, and I'm always having to regulate my nervous system.

[01:06:50] Anxiety gets kicked up for me pretty quickly. Having big decisions looming does not help. It does not sound appealing and I just like to get them over and done with. So we had spent a few hours together in bed over the course of a weekend looking at different venues online, checking out the reviews, the galleries, and getting a feel for the price.

[01:07:14] There was one that stood out to us both. It was about 40 miles from our home. It was a historical site and it was gorgeous. I called that following Monday and scheduled us a tour. The next weekend as we drove up, we were immediately blown away. It was tucked away on a lake, it felt incredibly private, it had on site accommodations for 30, and the building where our reception would be held was just freaking incredible.

[01:07:43] The icing on the cake was that we could pretty much book everything that we needed directly through them, making it pretty much all inclusive. We were almost instantly a hell yes. The woman helping us sat us down at the table, walked us through the pricing, their booking process, drew us up a quote, stuffed it in a nice folder with some brochures.

[01:08:05] We had the must book by date and were handed a set of keys to go explore the building for the on site housing. Adam and I were like, to kids. I mean, we were giddy. This was a pretty special moment, and if you've already booked your venue, you know what I'm talking about. We get to this building where 30 people could sleep, figured out how to work the door, and we walked in.

[01:08:31] Remember that part about this venue being a historical site? Well, that's not always a great thing when you think about where you will be There was no air conditioning. There were ceiling fans and only a couple of rooms. There were shared bathrooms in each hall and no real place for us to congregate.

[01:08:54] But I wanted to get this done and over with. The hall was so beautiful. I figured we could just squeeze some lemonade out of these lemons yet. But the truth was this place was not ideal. We were talking ourselves into settling. I mean, me, I was ignoring all the signals my guidance system was sending. But Adam likes to take his time with big decisions and ask that I give it 48 hours before committing.

[01:09:25] So I did. That second day while he was at work, I couldn't ditch this weird nagging feeling that maybe this wasn't the only option for us. Maybe, just maybe, there was something even better. So I caved. I did something I never do once I make a decision. I did some more research. I got super specific with a Google search to see if the property I envisioned existed and if by chance I could find it in Michigan.

[01:09:57] I searched for any type of venue. One that we could book for three days, was secluded on a lake, and would have the amenities our guests and us would need for our own comfort. I found one. Sojourn Lakeside Resort. I loved everything about this place. The reviews, the pictures, even the history. What made it so different were the amenities.

[01:10:23] 20 beautiful rooms. All that looked like a hotel, and some could fit families of five very comfortably. There was a pool, a nice beach, a patio equipped with tables and chair, you could rent their pontoon. We had access to the entire property for the duration of our stay, which included a lounge area where people would sleep, had a few kitchen tables, a couch, bookshelves, games, two coffee pots, a microwave, and a full size fridge.

[01:10:55] Then there was the hall, which they called the Lodge. We had access to the reception area, the bar, and the lounge in that building. Plus, it had a full kitchen. It even had an industrial grill and cost less than the venue we were about to book. Can you believe I said nothing to him? How I didn't call Adam immediately still amazes me.

[01:11:22] I think it was my pride because I was so adamant that we had already found the right place. I was being stubborn. That night we crawled into bed and I, like, our intent was to fill out the paperwork for the other place and pay the deposit. So, as Adam was typing in his banking information for the deposit, he turned and looked at me and said, Amy, if this is the place you want for our wedding, I'm in.

[01:11:52] I'm just going to ask you one more time. Are you sure this is it? The words that followed went like this. Well, actually, I was online today and I found a resort in Gaylord, Michigan that kinda has everything. He cut me off right there and said, show me. We booked with them, sight unseen, two days later. This is not a made up story.

[01:12:17] So brides, getting in tune with your own body's guidance system, paying attention to your gut response, and the quieter, intuitive whispers can not only transform wedding planning into an authentic, joyful journey, it can save you from making huge mistakes. As you make your way through choices and voices, remember to pause.

[01:12:41] Listen to those gut signals and intuitive nudges and trust the profound wisdom within you. This isn't about planning a wedding. It's about creating a celebration that resonates the very core of your being. Tuning in to your intuition connects you more deeply to yourself, your partner, and the very purpose behind it all.

[01:13:04] You hate to be thinking about now. Okay, Amy. I get it. But how? How do I actually hear this inner voice you're talking about? I know it sounds real woo woo, but we all have one. Before I start dropping the gems about how you can learn to listen to your inner guidance system a little more effectively, I think it's important to address self reflection and how creating a sacred space for yourself can help with that.

[01:13:36] When you're planning a wedding, life in general can feel really hectic. Most of the time, what's causing brides to feel overwhelmed is actually what's taking place in their mind. That's why carving out a dedicated time for self reflection is essential to your well being. It doesn't have to be super fancy, or even an entire room.

[01:14:00] It can be a corner of your bedroom with some cozy pillows, your favorite park bench, or even a spot on your couch. Mine happens to be the left side of our love seat in the living room. It's arm's reach to an end table. My altar sits at the center of the coffee table in front of me. Even in my household of six, that corner of our couch is a sacred space for me at different moments in the day, like the morning.

[01:14:29] The key here is to create a consistent space where you can pause, breathe, and reconnect with yourself. It's a place where the noise of the world, and sometimes the noise of your own thoughts, can be silenced. It's a place where you can freely express and explore your feelings. It's the place in my home where I dig deep and work through the hard stuff.

[01:14:51] By prioritizing time and space for yourself, you're affirming your worth and the importance of the relationship you have with yourself, your inner being, your highest self. your soul, whatever word you choose to use to describe that part of you. This act of self care is very empowering and it reminds you that regardless of what you're facing, you're the central character in your life story.

[01:15:18] I hope that by listening to me talk about this, it has you thinking about where that special place for reflection might be for you. Now I think we're ready to talk about some ways to Tap into your intuition within that space. Let's talk about the tools in your toolkit. All the different ways that you can tune into yourself.

[01:15:40] And before I even begin, know that this is not all inclusive and my way isn't the best way. These are just things that I use myself and so know that they help. Find out what feels best for you. So the first that I'm going to talk about is meditation. I know how helpful meditation can be, but consistency is a challenge.

[01:16:06] It's a practice that I'm committed to. I want it to be part of my daily ritual. part of my routine because I understand the benefits. If you're like me and you get distracted easily or you have a weird relationship with your breath or a lot of anxiety, I'm just here to encourage that you try. And also, I will too.

[01:16:31] I feel like I can use my advice for you as advice for myself, and this podcast is my accountability. If you don't know how to meditate, it's not hard. That's not the hard part, per se. The meditation practice is easy. It's the meditative state that I sometimes struggle with. Maybe just start with five minutes.

[01:16:56] If it's difficult to find stillness on your own, try a guided meditation app like Headspace or Calm. I know Calm has a 30 day intro to meditation that I've done before. It's perfect for beginners. I even think you get a few weeks free, so I will share it in the show note. What's important is that you just keep coming back to this practice, which is where I keep going wrong.

[01:17:21] The commitment is where I've been struggling. Can we just decide ahead of time that we're not going to be hard on ourselves? Can we remember that practice makes progress? In my own journey, I like to find evidence that something's working because it helps me to come back to things that feel hard. So journal about your experience.

[01:17:43] Notice how it feels a little different after a couple of weeks. What insights are you having in the hours or days that follow? Be curious. It's actually very interesting, the things that come up. Deep breathing exercises is another very effective way to calm your mind. I do them throughout my day just to keep myself regulated and release tension.

[01:18:06] My favorites are elongated exhalations, which I may or may not have shared with you in episode 1 or 2. But another one I love and use often is called alternate nostril breathing. It's a calming yoga breathing practice where you close one nostril with a thumb or a forefinger and inhale through the other nostril.

[01:18:27] Then you switch nostrils and exhale. Yoga with Adrian has a video on YouTube for this. I use it a lot. So I'll link that in the show notes for you, too. If you happen to be a person who prefers movement for this, a short walk outside can also quiet your mind, give you clarity and perspective. Plus, it just feels good in general.

[01:18:50] I take at least two walks a day. The difference is when your purpose for a walk is a mindful moment, you pay attention to your senses and the environment around you. You could also add in some appreciation and uplevel the whole experience. I will share that in another episode, but I do, I take gratitude walks and appreciation walks.

[01:19:14] It's like a super moving experience. The very last technique I want to steer you towards today is journaling. When I started doing this every day, it felt really weird. I didn't know what the hell to write. It's like, okay, I'm a little old for a diary. I started with gratitude, and you can too. After a few days of listing out five things you're grateful for every morning, start to sprinkle in some prompts, like these.

[01:19:44] What's one thing bringing me joy about the wedding right now? Which decision or aspect of the wedding feels effortless to me? What's one decision I feel uncertain about? What does my intuition say? What's one small thing about the wedding that brings me pure joy? If I could ask my intuition one question about my wedding, what would it be?

[01:20:07] Or, how am I managing the stress of planning my wedding? I am full of ideas. As a life coach for brides, asking questions like this is my jam. If you're all in on this, but could use a little inspiration, Send me a DM on social or shoot over an email and ask for help. I will send you a whole month's worth.

[01:20:30] Intuition strengthens with practice, just like any other skill. The more you use the tools, the easier it gets to hear the inner wisdom that's guiding you. Now, let's talk about how your closest relationships can also be a source of guidance, especially during stressful times. Like planning a wedding. It's extremely important that you surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you.

[01:20:59] The people in your life that radiate positivity and offer understanding. Bride. These are your safe space people. The ones who listen without judgment. Offer a shoulder to lean on. Or even help with wedding tasks. Nurture those relationships. Ask them to be a go to person for you during this journey. Tell them what you need, whether it's a listening ear, help, or some fun.

[01:21:27] And remember, it's perfectly okay to protect your peace, protect your energy. If someone in your life isn't adding to your joy, do not feel pressured to share every freaking detail with them. You don't have to share anything with anybody besides your partner, and your well being matters most. So if you haven't already, this is your official invitation to go find your support system.

[01:21:54] The next thing I want to talk about is heartfelt conversation. This is so important to me. When I first moved to Michigan, I decided that I was going to manifest some friendships. I was going to build the friendships that I have always wanted and didn't think I could have. One of the things on my list.

[01:22:15] of these people was that I could have heartfelt conversations with them. Hopefully, you have some of those people in your life. I just want to talk to you about how to nurture deep, meaningful connections, especially with your partner. Heartfelt conversations are more than just sharing information, venting, or expressing your feelings.

[01:22:36] They're more about connecting with someone on a deeper level, showing vulnerability. By doing that, you build strong bonds. I truly believe that these types of conversations are the cornerstone of the relationships that feed your soul, which is why I desperately needed them. I hadn't ever really had them in my life.

[01:22:58] So, how can we make communication truly nurturing? I have some tips. First, you're going to want to create a comfortable environment for the conversation to take place. Express your intention, which is to have an open, honest conversation. If you want their advice, you might say something like, Hey, I really value your perspective and I'd love to share some thoughts with you about the wedding.

[01:23:25] Don't just keep talking and dive right in. You have to wait for them to respond. I'm going to just assume that they say yes, of course you can. The next part is a biggie. As you continue talking and they respond to what you're saying, resist the urge to think ahead. I used to have this very bad habit of while someone was giving me the advice I asked for or sharing a perspective, already thinking of what I want to say in response to it.

[01:23:58] Instead, get what you asked for. Focus on truly understanding their perspective. Take in their advice, ask them questions and be open. If you feel defensive about something that they say, ask more questions to get a better understanding, be willing to share with vulnerability. Be open with your feelings and share your own thoughts and emotions honestly.

[01:24:23] Don't hold back out of fear that they might think something weird about you or might judge you. A lot of times brides go into Facebook groups asking for help or venting but then ending it with an open ended question. and then feel judged by how people respond. I know this because they'll post again in an hour and tag the original post and literally say, I feel a little judged.

[01:24:45] If you don't want to be that person triggering somebody feeling like that, which how other people feel is not your responsibility, but. There could be a different way for you to help them. Frame your sentences around your own experience and feelings to avoid sounding accusatory. As a coach, this is a skill that I've mastered, but conversations with my partner don't always go so well.

[01:25:09] Why? Because I'm human, and so is he. We have lots of emotions and brains that spin some wild ass stories. For the purpose of protecting us. So, if your mom keeps asking about details that you just don't have yet, and it's stressing you the fuck out, you might want to say, Hey mom, I feel a little overwhelmed when you ask me about whatever.

[01:25:34] Because my brain immediately goes to thoughts like I'm so behind or I should have already done this. There's just so much to do or I, I'm failing at planning my wedding. Tell her that you feel like shit. It's not because of her. It's because of the stories your brain is telling and I can almost guarantee That you will see a shift in your mother's questioning.

[01:25:58] She's going to have empathy and compassion and understanding for what you're going through. Another thing you want to remember to do is to encourage their own expression. Invite them to share their thoughts. My husband seriously struggles with communication. He struggles with that. talking about things, especially if we're having a conflict.

[01:26:18] So I have to ask him open ended questions to get him to talk. Hey babe, how did it make you feel when I just told you that? Or what thoughts does that bring up? You also have to validate their feelings, even if you don't necessarily agree with their perspective or perceived reality of the event. We can both be going through the same thing and have a completely different experience with it.

[01:26:45] So, one of the less cool things about having ADHD is this ridiculously heightened sensitivity to rejection. No one has formally diagnosed me as having rejection sensitive dysphoria and honestly they don't have to because I know what I feel and I feel it very deeply and sometimes it frankly feels like death and I know it shouldn't like if someone tells me no or share something that feels confronting to me my brain automatically Starts sending me messages that make me feel like I've done something wrong.

[01:27:19] I'm being abandoned and they don't want me in their life. It's Terrible and it's just something that I have to manage. So when I share Validating my feelings by saying something like I understand why you would feel that way It helps me to feel safe, seen, and loved. It's huge for me, and I'm sure it's a big deal for you, too.

[01:27:41] So lastly, show the people who are willing to be vulnerable and open to having a heartfelt conversation with you some stinking gratitude. Show them that you appreciate them. At the end of your conversation, thank them for being willing to be open with you. Tell them how important it was that they were someone that you could be real and raw with.

[01:28:03] Remember that even the most well intentioned conversations with the most supportive people won't always be sunshine and roses. That's okay. We can have disagreements and conflict. By practicing these steps, you'll create a safe space within your relationship where vulnerability falls. flourishes where you can have hard conversations and still love each other.

[01:28:28] This allows you to truly connect, navigate challenges with understanding, and build an unshakable foundation for your future, which is why I think it's really important for you and your partner. We've covered a lot of ground today. At least I think we have. I really hope that this episode stirred something in you.

[01:28:48] and that you put something you learn into practice. My greatest goal, though, was that you take this entire wedding well being series and you use it to create the wedding experience you want and deserve because, honey, I know you can. I see firsthand how prioritizing well being and practicing self care is a catalyst for change and transformation.

[01:29:13] Not just in this journey to your wedding, but in your life. So remember the keys that you learned today as you navigate your own, connect with your inner voice, your intuition, find joy in every step, acknowledging and appreciating the present moment, the excitement of what's to come and the gratitude for what you already have experienced.

[01:29:36] Connect with your inner being, that inner voice. Let your intuition be your guide and don't forget about the power of connection. Surround yourself with supportive people and nurture those relationships through open and honest, heartfelt communication. As I wrap up today's episode and this wedding well being series, I'm going to leave you with a little nudge towards taking some action.

[01:30:03] This journey that we're on together is about more than just listening. It's about doing, feeling, and transforming. So here's your invitation to dive deeper and make these insights your own. If you haven't already, sign up for the Hey Bride newsletter. It's a weekly dose of inspiration, tips, and stories.

[01:30:26] Little love notes from a coach who cares and wants to keep you motivated and supported on your wedding wellness journey. The little piece of the podcast in your inbox every week, reminding you to prioritize your well being in the middle of the planning. I'm always inviting people to go into conversations with me.

[01:30:44] So if you want a heartfelt conversation, here's a place where you can start one. I'm all about building community. And the very first email you get is an invitation to tell me about your own journey, to tell me what you're celebrating and what you're struggling with. Then I respond to it with a resource I feel might help.

[01:31:04] And if you want to take action on what you learned over the course of this series and begin to prioritize yourself and your wellbeing in new ways, sign up for the 30 day self care challenge for brides. It's free. It's easy. And it comes into your inbox. It's a simple, powerful way to integrate these types of practices into your daily life.

[01:31:24] If you want to prioritize yourself in new ways, but you don't know what will work for you, just start here. Try some things out, commit to one thing a day. That's all it takes to make a difference. But if you feel called to explore this on an even deeper level, I'm here for it. I'm ready for you, Bride. Book a coaching consultation.

[01:31:46] Let's talk. Let's come up with your personal plan together. Let me be your guide and your go to person. There you have it. Three ways for you to take action today. To show up for yourself. To feel better. Make sure you tune in next week. This series might be done, but Hey Bride is just getting started. Until the next time you are loved, you are capable, and you are deserving of your dream wedding journey.

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Amy Cloonan

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