Your Wedding, Your Rules: The Pep Talk For Brides Who Have HAD IT.

Hey Bride, it's time to revolutionize your wedding planning! If you're feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or just not loving the journey, this episode is your wake-up call. As your wedding wingwoman, I'm here to remind you that this is YOUR wedding, YOUR way. In this kickoff to our "Your Wedding, Your Rules" series, we're diving deep into why wedding planning can feel so damn hard and how to turn it into a transformative experience you'll actually enjoy.

Get ready to:

• Feel seen and heard: We'll validate the rollercoaster of emotions you're experiencing and remind you that you're not alone.
• Shift your perspective: We'll challenge you to see the challenges as opportunities for growth and self-discovery.
• Get fired up: We'll set the stage for a transformative journey towards planning a wedding that's unapologetically YOU.

This episode is just the beginning of our journey to revolutionize your wedding planning experience. Get ready for a series that will empower you to create a wedding as extraordinary as you are!

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Here's what you'll get:

• Intimate, supportive conversations with fellow brides
• Breakthrough strategies for your biggest wedding challenges
• Mindset shifts to rediscover the joy in planning
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Remember, your extraordinary wedding starts right here!

Transcript

Your Wedding, Your Rules: New Series Pep Talk

[00:00:00] Amy: How you do one thing is how you do everything. If you're saying yes and your gut is screaming no, that, my friend, is a big, giant, fucking red flag. If you feel like you don't have a voice or a choice, that's a problem. If you can't communicate with your partner in a way that feels healthy or supportive, we need to talk. If you're not enjoying the process, if you're not finding joy in anything… any of it -  and you just wanna get it over with. We need to figure out why. What is happening? Because listen, this can be a beautiful experience. 

[00:00:46] Hey, bride, if planning your wedding hasn't exactly gone how you hoped, or if stressed is becoming the leading lady of your wedding story; You have come to the right place. I'm Amy, a life coach, and your wedding wing-woman. This is Hey Bride, a podcast meant to encourage, inspire, and uplift you. In each episode, myself and other guests will drop gems and fresh perspectives so that you can stress less, embrace your bridal badassery, and enjoy this.

[00:01:21] Hey Bride, do you ever feel like you have so much to say that the words won't come out? Like they get stuck? Someone just shoved a bunch of something into your toilet and it won't flush… Yeah, that's me right now. It's been a couple of months since I have gotten behind a mic frankly, I just have a shit ton to say and I don't even know where to start.

[00:01:47] So, please note I am going to do my best to keep myself from diving into a hundred different conversations at once Because I'm excited. I'm not sure what is going to come out, but I know what I want to talk about. I just hope that it makes sense and it gets you pumped for what's coming. 

I started this podcast because I believe every bride, Every bride deserves a wedding that is as extraordinary as she is and that she can have a blast planning it. Too many aren't, and frankly, it's just not okay with me. That's why we kicked off the Hey Bride podcast with a wedding well-being series. To help you feel better, fast. And now, I think I'm ready to take it to the next level. The new series that I'm here to talk about is called, Your Wedding, Your Rules.

[00:02:49] Every episode, between now and the new year is going to be designed to empower you, to give you strength, and the courage required to create the wedding experience that you truly do deserve, regardless of the other people in your life or the challenges that you face. Your Wedding, Your rules. Just saying that makes like a little fire light up in my chest. Today I just want to get you excited for it because I am and to kind of prime the old pump a little bit and say hi Hello, I know it's been a while.

[00:03:26] I want to get you ready for all the gems that are about to be dropped because next week, you're going to be introduced to a recent bride who I happen to think is a total badass. After you hear her speak and you find out why I think she's the shit, I think you will too. But you're going to have to wait until next week to find out why.

Today, let's just all get on the same page about something. Planning a wedding can be hard and at times feel a little stressful. Okay, fine…

 [00:04:00] Planning a wedding at times can feel a lot stressful. Some days you might be doing things that feel really fun and they light you up, but other days you might be wondering what the hell you were thinking for not eloping when you had the chance.

Either of those things are fine because here's the God's honest truth. If you're feeling the ups and downs, you're pretty normal. This is a big event logistically. It signifies a new chapter in your life. It is a transitional period that you're in. There is a whole hell of a lot going on internally and for some reason, I don't understand. There's not a whole lot of people out here talking about it. 

So, I will. I choose to. 

I think planning a wedding is a big deal. And yes, it can feel very hard. When we are faced with things, when we like, I don't know, step outside of our comfort zone and push ourselves beyond a point that feels safe, our limbic system does something.

It's job. 

Alarm bells start going off. We might feel or experience fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. You ever heard about it? I bet you, you have felt it at some point during this process. You know, it's the thing that happens inside of our bodies when something triggers us. Our nervous system is having an intense reaction and it triggers it.

It sucks! From a woman who has to manage chronic anxiety that comes with a side of panic attack, I do not love it. And it's something that I have learned to live with and cope with and manage. Other things that might be going on right now is some brides, maybe you, have caught yourself and some people-pleasing types of tendencies.

[00:05:53] You might have issues with sleep. You might be having insomnia, or having a hard time falling asleep, or just not sleeping enough. But one thing that I know is universal. Our brain is going to start trying to talk some sense into us because it wants to keep us safe and sound. 

Thank you, brain. You're doing a great job.But also, knock it off. 

We don't want to play it safe and sound. At least I didn't. When I was planning my wedding, I wanted to bring my vision to life and have a fucking blast in the process, and I did. Yes, people got disappointed. Yes, I had to leave people out of the entire event. Yes, I didn't share everything with everybody I would have liked to. 

Maybe I hurt people in the process, but you know who I didn't hurt and who I didn't disappoint and who I feel very proud of? Myself. I made decisions that support the type of woman I'm becoming. It helped me to grow. 

[00:07:02] So if you are a hands on type of bride like I was, some days it's going to feel like you're in the trenches because you are. I say: Game on. You, ma'am, are all in. You're making investments of your time, of your money, of your energy. So yeah, you're gonna have some stress. You're facing situations that maybe bring up some deeply emotional shit, too. Maybe you don't know if you want to invite your dad. Maybe you have two dads and you don't know which dad's gonna walk you down the aisle and you have all sorts of drama and guilt about it.

[00:07:38] Planning a wedding brings up shit that you never expected to have to deal with. It can bring up wounds that you didn't realize were there or you thought maybe were healed. Don't get me wrong. You are not doomed. It's not all bad. It's actually quite beautiful and fun. But for a lot of us, a lot of you, it's a lot.

So, if you are going to be up against all of that and have an intention to enjoy the journey to your wedding, plan to be stretched. Just know it's going to happen. But also, know that you don't have to tear any muscles. You want to know how to not injure yourself in this wedding planning journey of yours? How to not hate the experience, but actually savor it? How to embody the idea of your wedding, your way? You're gonna have to do some not fun, but powerful stuff. You're going to have to learn how to acknowledge and navigate your emotional triggers or the wounds you learned to live with or forgot about.

[00:08:44] In the next couple of months, I'm going to challenge you to witness the tendencies and patterns that you maybe never had to confront before so that you can work through them and create your wedding your way, but not feel like shit because you are. The wedding you are planning. It is not just the beginning of a lifelong partnership.

You are changing. I don't think you realize that. I don't think a lot of people talk about that, but this is a transition. You are evolving. You're taking on a new role and your identity is expanding. It's a big fucking deal. So of course, this period can bring up some pretty heavy stuff. I think a lot of times brides encounter challenges during wedding planning that mirror everyday life.

It's just that everything feels so amplified because it's already stressful and you might be interacting with some people that you don't have to very often or you might be interacting with them in ways that you haven't had to before. So, if making tough decisions, if managing your budget, if dealing with family dynamics is making you feel stressed out - I just want to remind you that it's not a sign that there's something wrong with you.

[00:10:04] It is not a sign that you are weak. It is a sign that you care and you're invested. But when stress tips over into overwhelm, when you start to feel burnt out, disheartened, super discouraged, wondering if this is even worth it or just plain fucking done, you have a problem. Stress can be managed, but when it starts stealing your joy, we need to press pause and reassess. Then reset. 

Let's all just take one big giant breath.

[00:10:41] Hey bride, how's the wedding planning going? How are you doing? I know it's almost a default to lie or water down what's really going on when people ask us these types of questions, when they ask them face to face. But I want you to be honest with yourself. 

If you were asked by me, by a peer or an aunt right now, how are you doing?How's the wedding planning going? How would you reply?  Would you tell them that everything is going great or fine even if it's not? Or would you be real about what you're experiencing, what you're facing? 

The truth is that very few people are real about their journey with the people that they're close with. Not just the wedding, everything. People ask us how we're doing and we just default to, “I'm fine”, but are we? Are we fine? Maybe not.

That's why Facebook groups for brides become vent sessions. We don't feel like people want to hear about our problems. We don't want to take up too much real estate in a conversation. We don't even feel safe to be vulnerable with the people that love us. Or maybe it's just that we don't think that they actually care?

 So, when we say I'm good and it's going fine, if it's not really, maybe you should be honest. 

If you secretly feel like you're in a downward spiral - barely holding it together, and beating yourself up about it too. Rf you're judging yourself about feeling less than perfect because it's not going how you thought it would… or how you hoped. fFom this day forward, I want you to make a promise to yourself, and if you don't like making promises to yourself, make a promise to me.

[00:12:28] Stop it. Seriously. Cut it out. Knock that shit off. 

You are allowed to feel all of your feelings. This is a challenging time. It's also an incredible opportunity to grow, to become stronger, more self-aware, and more in tune with who you are and what you need. I think planning a wedding is the perfect time to confront the parts of yourself that you want to change.

[00:12:55] Yeah, I said what I said. Because how you do one thing is how you do everything. If you're saying yes and your gut is screaming no, that, my friend, is a big giant fucking red flag. If you feel like you don't have a voice or a choice, that's a problem. If you can't communicate with your partner in a way that feels healthy or supportive, we need to talk.

[00:13:20] If you're not enjoying the process, if you're not finding joy in any of it, and you just want to get it over with, we need to figure out why. What is happening? Because listen, listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth. This can be a beautiful, experience. This can be one of the most significant periods of your life, but only if you allow it to be.

[00:13:47] Yes, things might not go as planned. Just plan on things not going how they're planned. And there will be challenges, but those challenges are opportunities to grow, to [00:14:00] stand in your power, and create the The life and wedding you truly want for yourself. You're not just getting married. You are in a constant process of becoming.

[00:14:10] Right now, what you're dealing with today, tomorrow, next week, next month, it's part of it. We like to, I like to…let me just put my, I'll just raise my hand. I like to blame external factors when things don't go right for me. It's just a knee jerk reaction. 

What you're going to learn throughout this podcast series and every episode of Hey Bride After Is to respond to the things in our life that make our chest tight in a way that supports what you want to experience.

[00:14:45] Tight budgets, uncooperative family, unexpected setbacks. It's not those things that are stressing you out. It's the thoughts that you're having about them. It's the stories that your brain is telling you. It's the stories you're repeating and telling yourself. And guess what? You do have a say in that. You have control.

[00:15:07] We all…me, you, everybody - we are all our own biggest problem. And that's actually empowering. Because when you start to manage your mind, when you stand in your personal power, you can create something that feels aligned and right for you. Not stress-free, let's be clear. This is something. This is something unique.

This is going to be a stressful time. That's natural. That's normal. That is the human experience. But it'll be easier. More manageable. And ultimately, if things go how I have them planned, it's going to be more fun. 

I want you to look back on this time and think, hell yes! I did that. I faced everything that came at me head on. I grew. I created something beautiful. Not just because you're getting married. That is amazing, but it's just one part of your story. Your story is so much bigger than a wedding day. It's every single day that leads up to it. up to it and every day that follows. It's about who you are becoming and how you're living your life right now.

[00:16:16] So if today you're thinking, okay, this chick doesn't know what she's talking about, I'm going to ask that you just stick with me. Keep listening. I'm going to be releasing more episodes and I'm going to keep it real with you. Together, we're going to explore how you can use this time in your life as a catalyst for the change you really crave.

I hear you, even if you haven't even voiced it yet. I'm paying attention. I am there in the bride groups with you, offering support, offering guidance, offering resources, and now it's just me and my mic and I'm talking directly to you. You're not alone in this. Even if it seems like you are, I promise, you're not.

[00:17:00] Because you've got me. You've got a wedding wing woman. And guess what? I've got you. 

That was a lot. You just got a pep talk. Get used to it. I told you I had a lot to say and I wasn't sure how it was going to come out, but I wanted to set the stage for what is coming. The Your Wedding, Your Rules series will kick off next week with an episode that's going to blow your mind, I promise. Well, I guess I can't promise that it's going to blow your mind, but it definitely blew mine. 

Our guest, Caitlin, now you know her name, she is going to have you rethinking everything you thought you knew about wedding planning. You're probably going to walk away from the conversation feeling lighter and ready to create whatever the hell you want with what you have.

[00:17:48] Then, we're going to get to work. 

Every time a bride goes into a Facebook group and she starts her post with, I just got engaged, what do I do first? This is my response. Your wedding your way is my response to her and all of you. We're gonna start by casting a vision. No cookie-cutter weddings or sticking to traditions you don't like just because that's how it's done.

No, this is going to be your chance to break free and create something that is You, that feels like you, that you want to be part of your story. There is going to be a lot happening from strategies and a whole lot of power moves. By the time we're through, you're going to feel emboldened to plan a wedding that is unapologetically you.

[00:18:38] So get ready. This is going to be a transformative ride, I hope. 

If you liked this episode and you want more, hit that follow button so we can keep the conversation going. And also, sharing is caring. Send this episode to anyone you think needs to hear it. Let's create a community where brides support each other and together, we're gonna start a wedding revolution.

Alright, that's a wrap. That's it. I think I said everything. I'm so happy that you stayed and that you listened and I hope that it really got you excited about what's coming or helped you to not feel so bad about being stressed. Girl, you're gonna be fine. We are in this together. We're gonna use the tools, we're gonna talk about the things that make it hard, and we're gonna freaking solve for it.

[00:19:32] One thing I wanted to mention before I say goodbye for real this time, is you can actually send me a message. If there is something in this episode that you were like, yes, or that you needed to hear, or if you had an epiphany or a takeaway that you want to share, or if you just want somebody to reach out to, you actually can talk to me.

Leave me a message.

I use Buzzsprout as my podcast host. I know that doesn't matter to you, but to me it does because it lets me do cool shit like this. Leave me a message. I will share anonymously. Yes, that's how you say it. Or you can let me use your, your first name, whatever. I really do want this to be a two-way type of thing, even if we're in two different places at two different times.

[00:20:20] Ah, we can do this. We can do hard things. And we can have a whole lot of fun. Talk to you soon. Bye!