[RE-RELEASE] 021: Fostering Grit and Glory at Mizzou Softball with Larissa Anderson

Listen as Coach Anderson recounts the pivotal moments of reshaping Mizzou's softball program into a culture of accountability and #OwnIt. With the wisdom of a seasoned coach, Anderson dives into the genesis of the "Own It" mantra, a philosophy rooted in the principles of Navy SEALs leadership, and how it's been instrumental in rallying her team amidst coaching changes and NCAA investigations. Her narrative isn't just about wins and losses; it's a masterclass in fostering resilience and unity in young athletes, demonstrating that the heart of a winning team beats beyond the scoreboard.

She reveals the secrets to curating a team that outperforms their natural talent, emphasizing the importance of Midwest grit and the competitive fire that fuels underdogs to topple giants.  Coach Anderson shares stories of players who embraced their roles with a fervor that turned setbacks into stepping stones for growth. This episode isn't just about the X's and O's of softball; it's a testament to the formidable strength of trust and ownership in shaping a team that can withstand any storm.

Episode Highlights:

• What Coach Anderson looks for when recruiting players
• How she worked to foster a gritty team culture
• How she navigated team setbacks to build a winning culture

Connect with Coach Anderson:
Instagram: @larissaanderson7

More ways to work with Fearless Fastpitch

• Learn about our proven Mental Skills Program, The Fearless Warrior Program
• Book a One on One Session for your Athlete
• Book a Mental Skills Workshop for your Team or Organization

Follow us on Social Media

• Facebook @fearlessfastpitchmentaltraining
• Instagram @fearlessfastpitch
• Twitter @CoachAB_

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Welcome to the Fearless Warrior podcast, a place for athletes, coaches and parents who know the value of a strong mindset. I'm your host, coach AB, a mental performance coach on a mission, former softball coach, wife and mom of three. Each episode, we will dive deep into all things mental performance, mindset tools and how to rewire the brain for success. So if your goal is to gain the mental edge and learn the secrets of mental performance, you're in the right place. Let's tune in to today's episode.

Speaker 1: 0:38

Entering her sixth season at the helm of Mizzou softball, coach Anderson joined Mizzou after a 17-year run at Hofstra, the final four as the head coach. Now she has led Missouri to 169 victories one NCAA Super Regional and two Regional Final appearances. In 2021, mizzou hosted a regional and Super Regional for the first time since 2013 and again hosted a regional in 2022. But if we rewind the clock a bit, her biggest test was during the 2020 season, but not just for the pandemic year, but a postseason ban being upheld three months prior to the season. Coach Anderson's steady leadership guided the Tigers through what would be a turbulent year. Despite the ban, mizzou lost zero players to the transfer and entered the season with its roster intact. Not only was it electric to watch her team play that year. What I love most about staying in touch with her is her steadfast commitment to building culture, embodying grit and commitment and seeing that unfold in the programs that she's built. I cannot wait for you to hear our conversation and the tips that she shares for players who are looking to find the right fit and pursue their dreams.

Speaker 1: 1:54

Let's tune in to today's episode. Coach Anderson, I am so pumped to talk to you today and have you on the Fearless Warrior podcast. Welcome.

Speaker 2: 2:03

I'm excited for this opportunity too. I'm looking forward to it.

Speaker 1: 2:06

So we had a chance to meet back in Nebraska at the coaches clinic and you had just found out that you got hired at Mizzou. Can you go back to that time? What was your thought process and kind of talk about your journey? Where are you at now and where did you come from and give our listeners kind of that background on you, sure?

Speaker 2: 2:26

I mean, I'm a New Yorker. I was born and raised in upstate New York, in a small town in the Adirondack Mountains. I coached at Hofstra University for 17 years. I lived on Long Island for 20. So I mean, I'm a New Yorker through and through and I never, ever thought I'd end up in the Midwest.

Speaker 2: 2:41

But it was one of those things that throughout my journey and I was an associate head coach for 13 years and then a head coach for four and going into my last year at Hofstra, which was the 2018 season I knew we were going to be extremely successful and more often than not, when mid major schools are successful and overachieving, power 5 schools are coming after them because there's a reason why they're winning and it's what they're building and really it's the overachievement process. So I went into that season thinking, okay, I know I'm going to get some phone calls at the end of this year. I have to mentally prepare myself. Either I'm going to stay here and this is what I'm going to be doing and I'm going to stay at Hofstra, or I have to be ready to move on. And I was mentally prepared for that and that was helpful for me in the process. So I wasn't surprised on to make a decision. I was.

Speaker 2: 3:31

I was prepared and hoping that the schools that did call were opportunities that would want to.

Speaker 2: 3:36

I would want to take, and as soon as the regionals ended and we had a great run, won our conference championship, that Monday morning the phone started ringing and it was real exciting. I used the analogy that it was like NFL Draft Day that you know schools are calling and presenting with opportunities that they wanted to talk with me to take over their program, and Mizzou was the first call. So obviously I answered it and they flew out that there was five administrators that flew out to Long Island and met with me for a couple hours, which was rare. Usually they fly you to campus, but they came immediately out to me the next day and we spent three hours in a boardroom and just talked and talked about culture and developing a program and what they're looking for in their next head coach, and they passed an envelope and said we want you to be our next head coach. And what I said my response to them was I would never, ever, ask a recruit to commit without seeing the university.

Speaker 2: 4:32

I'm not going to do the same, so I need to come on campus, and so they said okay tomorrow we're going to fly you back out to Columbia, missouri, and soon as I set foot on campus I knew it was going to be my next home because of the culture and the atmosphere and it really the university felt like it had a personality. So here I am, the next head coach. The team was was hurt Like they had gone through three head coaches in one calendar year. There were some NCAA investigations. There were six players key players that left the program Understandable. That's always going to happen when there's a coaching change.

Speaker 2: 5:08

But there was a lot of hurt feelings and emotions and distrust and I had to earn their trust. And when I went into the program you know doing a lot of background research about what they had gone through and picking their brains on why do you think this happened I realized that they needed to look at themselves and accept responsibility and that's really where the onyant mantra came in and realizing that it's not anybody else's fault, that what we're going through, we have to look at ourselves and accept that responsibility and control we can control.

Speaker 1: 5:42

I just love your story and watching you know from behind the scenes, and so to get to talk about that, you teed that up beautifully. One of the first questions I have on my list is to dive in. Something that you do incredibly well is culture, and you said it yourself. There was a history of a lack of culture, a lack of responsibility, and so I use this example a lot with teams that I work with on the mental side. It's one thing to have a mantra, it's another thing to live it and carry it and breathe it. So can you give us a behind the scenes? What does own it mean to you as a coach at your facilities, in the weight room, on the field? What does that look like?

Speaker 2: 6:22

You know, and I actually I stole it from a book I was reading that summer and the administration had told me that every program at Mizzou has kind of their own little mantra, their hashtag. They're saying that they use throughout their, their entire program while they're there. So I spent a lot of time trying to make sure that it was right, and I was reading a book that was about the Navy SEALs and how the Navy SEALs lead and win, and there was an entire paragraph about how they have to accept responsibility for their actions.

Speaker 2: 6:48

And as I was, reading that chapter I was like this is Mizzou, like this is what we need to do in order to kind of put the turmoil behind us and move forward and get players that understand who we're all about and what I recruit to, and that's really the biggest piece. It's not an easy fix. It's something that we have to believe and we have to buy in and we have to talk about every single day. And I have to have the staff do the same. And I can remember that there was a.

Speaker 2: 7:17

There was a point my first year we had lost a mid midweek game to a mid major school and when you talk to administration, a power five in SEC school should never lose to a mid major school and I'm not taking any credit away from this school.

Speaker 2: 7:34

But when you look at resources and opportunity and finances on paper it shouldn't happen and we know the game has to be played between the lines. But I was feeling the heat from my administration on OK, you're trying to turn this program around and you just lost this contest. So in the locker room I went in and my only question to the team is why are you here? And I just sat and I looked at them for 10 minutes and 10 minutes they had to process to figure out what their why is and they didn't have a why. And then when I realized that they didn't really have a why and why they chose Mizzou, why they're playing softball, why they're playing the game, then I had to dial it back and really get to the foundation and give them a little bit more purpose. So that really has been our emphasis on owning your responsibility, owning your choices, owning your decision to attend Mizzou, owning the work ethic that you have and on and on and on.

Speaker 2: 8:31

So it leads up to making sure that we're taking care of what we need to do on the field and in practice, and then the results are going to happen. But unless you accept that responsibility, that it's up to you to make sure that you do the things that you need to do in order to be successful, it's not anybody else's responsibility, it's only yours. And then now all I have to do is pretty much draw a lineup and they're going to go play because they bought into that whole process.

Speaker 1: 8:55

It's everything leading up to that lineup, to the chalk lines, so exactly.

Speaker 2: 9:00

And then I don't have to change. I don't have to change process game to game. I don't have to change what we're going to emphasize on. Like, I only worry about Mizzou softball. I don't care who we're playing, I don't care if it's going to be our first week opening week in Florida, I don't care if it's going to be in the conference championship, I don't care if it's going to be regionals, like it's still a ground ball. We did all the preparation leading up to that moment and that's what they have to believe in and understand what their, their processes and what their why is, because then it's just a game.

Speaker 1: 9:30

Well, in three, four years later, recruits look at what you've established and they don't even think twice about the previous Mizzou. They see it, they see your culture and they want to buy in. And so not only the work that you're doing in your program, you're setting it up for the future of. If you sign your name on that letter of intent, you know what you're getting into and you have built that culture and your team has owned that. How do you get your players to self own that? I think that's a question. We have a lot of coaches that are listeners. It's one thing for us as coaches to say this is our theme, this is our culture, but how do you get your athletes to own it themselves?

Speaker 2: 10:08

You know, it really starts in the recruiting process and talking with the recruits, talking with their families, because this, this program, is not for everybody and I don't want it to be for everybody. And that's really the first thing that I say. I step in and they sit on my couch right here in my office and the first thing I tell them is it's not easy to play here and you have to be self disciplined and you have to be self motivated and I'm not going to motivate you every single day. So if I have to try to sell you to come to Mizzou, those four years are going to be really challenging. You have to want to be a part of this program. You have to want to put in the time and the work and the effort and accept that responsibility, because it's bigger than all of us and, even though it's our program, is our philosophy right now.

Speaker 2: 10:49

I look back to the history of the program and that's who we owe it to. They've been to the World Series. They have all Americans. There's all the championship years up on our outfield wall. That's the responsibility that we have to them. We're just doing it in our own little way. So it's making sure that we bring in players that understand that responsibility and if they don't, they don't fit in here and that's OK.

Speaker 2: 11:12

And I want to make it really, really clear to everybody that's in our program that if this isn't what you're looking for, let me know where you want to go and I will call those schools because there might be a better fit, and that's OK. And I want this place to be extremely special and for players, when they graduate, to be like you know, this is the best four years. I learned more than just softball. I'm now prepared for the real world and there is a bigger picture and it takes a very unique individual and family. That that's what they're looking for. And in this day and age, with recruiting and the transfer portal and how easy it is for people to think the grass is always greener I think what's extremely special about what we're doing right now and even going through NCAA sanctions that we did we don't lose a lot of players. We don't have the key of our, our core of our team and our lineup and even statistical leaders and locker room leaders. They're not leaving because they understand their responsibility and they bought into what the culture is.

Speaker 1: 12:13

I love that so much and it's intentional. So you mentioned recruiting and that was one of the questions that I would love to hear your answer on. When you're on the recruiting trail your staff yourself what does that look like of? Ok? What are those intangible things? What are you maybe looking for that maybe other coaches aren't picking up on, that are the non tangible athletic side? What are those kind of secret things that you're watching for?

Speaker 2: 12:41

Well, if they're a secret and I tell everybody, then I'm just kidding.

Speaker 2: 12:46

So obviously the talent piece is easy, but I think what's really unique about our coaching staff and you look at the success that Hofstra had and it was a blue collar mentality and we just wanted to outwork everybody. We did not have the same talent at Hofstra that we did that the Power Five schools have. We weren't able to recruit it. But how are we going to beat them? We're going to outwork them. We're going to be disciplined, we're going to, we're going to stay focused, we're going to have an approach or we're going to stay disciplined to that approach. And then, all of a sudden, hofstra is beating the LSUs, the Mizzou's, you know, the Mississippi states of the world. So, taking that same mentality and now bringing it into the SEC, that's what makes us different, because when the kids buy in, the players buy into that mentality, that work ethic, that attention to detail with SEC talent. That's the success that we've had.

Speaker 2: 13:37

So but you have to find the right players that fit into that. How do we do that? That's meeting them, that's looking in their eyes, that's asking them on a scale one to 10, how competitive do you think you are? And when they, without hesitation, they go a 10. And I say well, in a 10, you'd have to slap your mom to win a ballgame. Is there any hesitation? And if they say, I'll slap her, but she's going to slap me back. Now I know that kid's gritty and a competitor.

Speaker 2: 14:01

If there's any hesitation and they're like, I'm done because I know they don't have the internal drive and that motivation to be great. And now it's going to be a challenge for me every single day in practice to try to get the best out of the kid. I say all the time and I say this at camps and when we're conducting a camp I talk to all the parents about just the recruiting process. They always ask me that same question and I say I want fist bumpers. I want kids that after a key strikeout or after a great play or a great pitch, even if they're not even in the game or the ball's not hit to them, they're pumping their fists because they're excited about that competitive opportunity. Those are the types of kids I'm looking for, because I will close your kids like that all day long.

Speaker 1: 14:46

That's a fire me up, because when we talk about body language that right there is I think one of the things that parents do quickly is they squash body language we talk about. Well, if you struck out and we're happy about it, do you want that kid?

Speaker 2: 15:03

Right.

Speaker 1: 15:04

They're not a competitor. When you talk to the girls about, it's not that we don't want negative body language. It's what body language are you showing? If you are squashing the competitive fist pumping and you're squashing the frustration, you're squashing all of it. You can't have it both ways. You can have positive and negative body language. It's how long are you staying in that body language, Right?

Speaker 2: 15:26

The same thing goes for competitive.

Speaker 1: 15:28

If they're too high on their own juice because they got that out, then they're not in the next play. You want to see that body language.

Speaker 2: 15:35

Right this is something that I emphasize and I'm going to continue to emphasize is you want the emotion to match the experience. That is consistent behavior. If it is an exciting play, you want the emotion to match that experience. If it's a strikeout with the bases loaded, let the emotion match that experience. It's okay to be frustrated and pissed off because you just struck out with the bases loaded, but now what are you going to do after those 15 seconds of you sharing that emotion? That's in our game. You got to immediately get back to it. That emotion can't hang on because the next play is a different emotion. Whatever is happening in that next play, your emotion has to match that next play. That's where you're going to be more consistent with your behavior and not have that negative feeling, that negative emotion, carrying into a positive experience.

Speaker 1: 16:29

Perfect, that's quotable right there. Mike drop, how do you look for that on the recruiting trail? How do you look for that even in your own girls that are in your current program? Are you watching that?

Speaker 2: 16:42

All the time. I think part of our philosophy is we want to recruit all Midwest kids. That's first. If there's kids in our background that can play at our level, we want them to stay home. We want them to be proud of where they're from. We want them to represent our state and then our region. There's eight states that border the state of Missouri. We want to keep those kids home and go to the World Series of all Midwest kids to show everyone around the country how good this part of the country is. That's philosophically. If there's other kids from other part of the country because they're buying into our program, awesome, they're recruiting us Now all of a sudden, if it's a good fit.

Speaker 2: 17:19

And I see the fist pumping and I see the energy. Now they're coming to us for the right reasons rather than me trying to sell them why they need to come here. But I will watch them. We have what? 15 weeks of recruiting. I want to watch them. 10 out of 15 times. It's over and over and over again over a long period of time. So I know what I'm getting. It's talking to the families. It's not just a one hit wonder. That had a great weekend and all of a sudden I'm going to get her just because she hit five home runs. It's really making sure that I know what we're getting, because I need to know what I'm coaching every single day.

Speaker 1: 17:55

Absolutely. I think one of the things that we tend to do is we glamorize D1 or bust is kind of a common thing that we're trying to break down in our community, and I think what people don't realize is how many roster spots do you have? And then what does that equal in a recruiting class?

Speaker 2: 18:13

I currently have 22. This is the smallest roster I've ever had. We had 25 last year, we've had 26. We've had 28 my first year and that's huge. It doesn't always work well when the roster is large, but at the same time I was very intentional in recruiting our state, because there were not a lot of players from the state of Missouri on our roster and again, I wanted to be people's dream school.

Speaker 2: 18:37

So, we had a lot of players that were within our program that it was their dream to be a tiger. They were going to do it, regardless if they played or not, and I never said no and I was like come on, let's go as long as they understood what their role is. 22 right now is very comfortable. I have seven pitchers, so you're looking at only 15 hitters Very, very comfortable. But now you have to understand that only nine are playing at a time and there have to be role players, that I have people that are on the bench and they are specifically going to be pinch runners and they have to. This is the owner. They have to own what their role is, obviously, work hard to become a starter, but if they're going to help our team be successful, then they have to really buy into what's going to help us get there.

Speaker 1: 19:19

Yeah, and a recruiting class. You know how many seniors do you have, how many juniors do you have? That then the numbers are really small.

Speaker 2: 19:26

Yeah, we have five seniors right now that are graduating. You always anticipate that kids are going to transfer for whatever reason, because it's not always. The input might not always be worth the output, like that I get that. I respect that. Well, we have five seniors graduating. We have eight freshmen in our class right now, one transfer, so nine first year players. I think we signed seven that are coming in next year, so kind of a big, bigger classes, because you're always anticipating that there might be some turnover.

Speaker 1: 19:56

Well, and to the point of, if you only are going to offer seven, eight, nine, you're going to want to see them play 10 out of 15 opportunities, because that's that becomes a much smaller bucket. And I don't think parents that are have younger athletes that are 10, 11, 12, that their daughters have said I would love to play D1. Well, do you know what that means? And we don't always comprehend that.

Speaker 2: 20:23

No, we don't. And again, it's not. It's not division, it's not division one, two, three, it's not any. It's not junior college, it's about the program and, like I said earlier, like I was at a mid major program for 17 years and we beat a lot of power five schools Like. So it's not about power five, scc, big 12. It's not about the conference, it's about the program. It's about what are your goals and what are your needs and what do you want to get out of it.

Speaker 2: 20:50

If softball is the most important thing in your life and you know you're going to play softball and every single waking moment you're thinking about softball and you're going to get a degree and it's going to take you to a university because of softball, then find a school that meets those needs. If softball is just another activity that you want to do for a couple hours a day and then when you leave practice you don't want to think about it anymore, then find a program that meets those needs and that's OK. And I think it's not enough. People say it's OK because they have this vision that it's like you said, division one or bus.

Speaker 2: 21:23

But there's 303 division one schools, the lower 100, if you were to look at RPI. There's a reason why they're there and not a lot of people say this. There's a reason why they're there. Does that school, just because it's division one, meet your needs? Or do you want to be in the middle 200, or do you want to be the top 100? Like that's where you have to figure out in division two and division three and every, every program, every level have that same kind of ranking system because of the commitment from the university, commitment of the coaching staff, ability to be able to recruit. So it's finding a program that you know you're going to be happy at because of the value that software brings to your life.

Speaker 1: 22:05

Another mic drop. This is I'm loving this conversation. What other message would you send to I'll kind of pass the mic to you of what message would you send to parents on this journey? We do have a lot of listeners that are parents. What's kind of your advice as they're helping their daughters with their identity, their why, all of the mental skills that we talk about? What's kind of your advice for the 10, 11, 12 year old that maybe hasn't reached high school yet? What do they need to be focusing on?

Speaker 2: 22:35

You know, if I go back, to the 10, 11, 12, it's start exposing them to colleges, Like if you're living in the state of Missouri, you have so many opportunities to visit Mizzou's campus, go to SLU, go to UMKC, go to Missouri State, go to Western Missouri go to East like there's so many different levels and different universities and NAIA junior college that you start to get a feel.

Speaker 2: 23:03

You get a feel for what the campus feels like. You can watch the team play. You have, all of a sudden, you have certain goals, like if you were to just look at Mizzou and you have an SEC school in the state. Go watch them play, go watch them practice so that 10 year old can go. That's what I wanna be someday. And now all of a sudden she's watching her Mickey Mannell on TV every single day to try to improve and get better, and hopefully there's a lot of listeners out there that know who Mickey Mickey.

Speaker 1: 23:28

Mannell is who, that is New Yorker.

Speaker 2: 23:30

Yeah, and I'm old, so I'm dating myself. But give them someone to emulate. And then all of a sudden, it's what level can they play at? What level do they wanna play at? Because the two might not always match.

Speaker 2: 23:43

So it's figuring out by watching them train and watching them practice, which you can go to anybody and watch them practice to say is that something that I can do every single day? And some kids will be like no, I don't wanna do it, or I can't do it, or I'm not that good. But it's getting that honest evaluation from somebody other than someone who's always gonna tell you how great you are and that's probably the hardest thing is who is out there. That's gonna give you an honest evaluation of your skill level. And now it's finding the right programs and the right level that are gonna meet your skill level. And I have no problem with a camper coming up to me and saying do you think I can play at your level? Not at my school, like, don't just look at Mizzou, do you think I can play at your level? And you have to be prepared to hear the answer, because if the answer is no, not right now, you're below our skill level.

Speaker 2: 24:35

That sometimes that honesty is really, really hard for a young kid to hear and sometimes parents don't wanna hear it. So don't ask that question. If you wanna know the truth, then you can have a better direction on exactly where you should be. Start targeting certain levels, certain schools. So now you're recruiting them as much as you want them to recruit you, and I think that's the biggest fallacy out there is. Players and parents think, well, they're gonna find me. No, we're not gonna find you. There's way too many players out there. There's way too many teams. We have limited opportunities. So give us a reason to find you and contact us and come to camps and email us and follow us on social media and DM us. Like, give us a reason to know who your name is and then put a face to the name and then give us an opportunity to be able to watch you.

Speaker 1: 25:27

And don't be afraid of saying, hey, you are my number one school. Or I have been to campus and I love campus because you're making it's two sides of the table of you wanna know that the kid has done their due diligence and the family loves campus. And I guess now we're speaking more to the older girls who are getting closer to well, how do I know what my dream school is? And I don't wanna come across as needy or desperate. Right, and a lot of my one-on-one clients I'll tell them does your number one school know that they're your number one? There's nothing wrong with saying that.

Speaker 2: 26:01

Wouldn't you love to hear it as a?

Speaker 1: 26:02

coach.

Speaker 2: 26:03

Yeah, no, not at all. Like, okay, I want kids who wanna be here, but then I want them to know why they wanna be here. Like tell me, tell me your reason why you wanna be at Mizzou, tell me your reason why you wanna go to the school. And if they can't, if they just say because it's in the SEC, not good enough. Nope, sorry, there's 13 other schools now gonna be 15 other schools. Like not good enough. So give me a reason why us. What do you know about our program? And if they can be very specific on, I came to camp, I've watched you play in games, I listened to your podcast, like whatever it is like.

Speaker 2: 26:34

That's the reason why. Okay, you've done your homework, you think you fit. Now I have to be able to evaluate if I think you fit, but if I don't know, how am I gonna recruit you? And that's really the biggest piece is you have to do homework and let that coach know that you really, really wanna be there, for the reasons why you wanna be there, and then we can figure out if you're one of those ones that I can bring in and I need you could be the best catcher in the entire world and have all the right reasons and I don't need to catch her for four years, then it's not gonna be a good fit. So then you have to figure out exactly what schools need you, what schools want you to make sure that it's somewhere that you wanna be for four years.

Speaker 1: 27:15

Absolutely so. Let's go back to the conversation of Midwest. I'd love that you advocate for the Midwest. We kind of have this chip on our shoulder of. You mentioned blue collar and all of the identities of we're hardworking and we wanna make a name for the Midwest. When you talk about your culture and you talk about the history of you stepping into Mizzou, I'd love to go back to the example of Onit in 2019. Before we hit record, we had kind of talked about it a little bit. What does that look like with the post-season ban and kind of revamping the culture at Mizzou? One of the examples that I use all the time with teams that I work with is here's what it looks like on the field we're not afraid to steal, we're not afraid to be ballsy. We're going to make that throw at home. Can you give us that? Go back to that year for us.

Speaker 2: 28:05

Yeah, I chose the Onit because of the turmoil that they had been going through for the past year, then realizing that they lack that trust and that accepting that responsibility.

Speaker 2: 28:17

That's where it really started Then fast forward to November of 2018. I've only been on the job a few months. The NCAA upheld these sanctions postseason ban and sanctions against the program because of academic integrity issues that occurred in 2016. Years before I'm even at Mizzou, our freshmen are in ninth grade in high school. No one is even in the program that was a part of the team in 2016. But now we have NCAA academic integrity issues that occurred and we have to uphold postseason ban Immediately.

Speaker 2: 28:55

I have a Zoom with the team. Everybody's crying. I don't see the team for the entire week because of Thanksgiving break. I then go to the convention. I don't know if I'm going to have a team when I return from the National Convention to have an. I have exit meetings.

Speaker 2: 29:09

I'm expecting every single senior to come in the office and say Coach, I want a red shirt. Coach, I want to transfer, I want to play somewhere, that I'm going to go postseason. I wouldn't blame them. These kids don't know me. I've only been on the job a couple months. I wouldn't be in postseason too. I don't blame them one bit. I'll never forget Hattie Moore, our senior catcher. She sits out of my couch and I'm expecting her to say Coach, I want to transfer. She said, coach, I've worked too hard with these girls. There's no way I'm going to go to another school or sit on the sidelines and watch them compete. Right then I sat back and I'm like they're getting it. They're getting what we're trying to do. They're owning it. It was such an amazing moment for me that they're understanding and they're buying into that work ethic. That's where we rolled with it. We are going to be banned.

Speaker 2: 30:04

Mizzou appealed the sanctions. We had one more year to be able to compete and that was 2019. We went out to. We got an at-large bid. We went to the UCLA regional. We were the only team to beat UCLA in their run to win the national championship.

Speaker 2: 30:19

After we beat UCLA in regional finals to go to that if game, I turned to my staff and I said we're hosting super regionals next year. We have minimal talent right now and we just figured out a way how to beat UCLA. We just need to get the right kids into the program to have more talent to continue to do this. But we're going to host super regionals next year and we ended up hosting super regionals that next year. But so it's funny that how it all worked out.

Speaker 2: 30:47

But then we go into the 2020 season and that's when we had to uphold our post-season ban because we had that year of appeal. So we're now banned from post-season. We know we can't go to the SEC championship, we can't go to regionals. So what are you playing for? And I personally and I haven't really admitted this to a lot of people, but the two weeks before our season started in that 1920 season, I had a really, really hard time. I did not know what my message was going to be to the team because usually it's like we're on the World Series and like this is what we're going to do, but we had no championship.

Speaker 2: 31:21

So what are we playing for? And I didn't know what I was coaching for and for two weeks I like didn't talk to anybody because I'm just trying to figure out what my first meeting is going to be like. And then it was every game is going to be our championship, Like that's the message we have to send. We have to try to get them to buy in and believe in that, that every game is going to be our championship and we're going to compete to be one of the best teams in the country. So when they have the seating that comes out and who's hosting and Mizzou's not up there, you don't have the best teams in the country hosting. So that was kind of our message going into the year and they bought into it.

Speaker 2: 31:57

It was like every single practice was our championship, every game. They just had such a chip on their shoulder and it was just so energetic and rewarding and it took the pressure off because you weren't. You weren't playing to win, you weren't playing to try to get a bid, because we didn't have an opportunity to get a bit. We were playing for the pure enjoyment of the game and the pure competitiveness of the game and it was just so awesome for them to experience that and how rewarding it was.

Speaker 2: 32:26

So, when the entire country shuts down on March 11th and the season's over, there were so many teams that had so many regrets because they're looking back and saying, well, what if? And I didn't? This was my last year and it didn't work as hard. It didn't hit us because we knew our season wasn't going to end the way we wanted it, because we weren't going to post season and all of a sudden, the country shut down and we're like you know, we gave it everything we had, we had zero regrets whatsoever and it was like okay, so next year we're going to continue this next year and it really carried into that 2021 season and it was electric to watch because we all knew that you had nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Speaker 1: 33:08

And I know that's metaphorical and very you know there's a lot of nuance to that. But talk about like coaching wise. You could now coach and you could be gritty and take that extra base and do make those calls. What was that like coaching, you know, and it was.

Speaker 2: 33:26

It was all the nonsense. I'm not going to use the word drama because we didn't create the drama. It was all the outside adversity we had to face that made the game really, really easy. So we had to deal with the sanctions, we had to deal with the postseason ban, we had to deal with the infractions we had to you know. So all this other stuff, this is adversity that we had to face. So we had to deal with that, which sucked.

Speaker 2: 33:51

But then all of a sudden we can play softball and we can have fun with it, we can take it out on the game and we can be determined and we can show everybody that you know what. It doesn't matter what we, what we have to deal with off the field. This is what we're going to do on the field and we just let it all out. And so what? What's the worst that can happen? We've already had the game taken away from us. So what's the worst that's going to happen? If you get thrown out, you're out, no big deal. So it's just continuing to have that who cares? Mentality, because already we've already experienced the worst.

Speaker 1: 34:24

So what's that like behind the scenes with your fellow coaches? You know quote, unquote, quote, unquote competitors that once you hit the field, obviously in the coaching world, your friends with a lot of your, your competitors and your coaches, what was that like behind the scenes? I mean, they had to have been terrified to play you guys, because they knew they're like, they're gunning, they're gunning.

Speaker 2: 34:45

You know and I don't know, I don't know what they're feeling. I really honestly don't even worry about them. I know it's probably frustrating because it's like how in the world are you beating us when we have quote, unquote all these star recruits and you know they're ranked here and right there and we're like you know what? Game doesn't care, game doesn't care what your ranking is Like, we're still got to play ball and they just bought into the whole process. And you know, at the end of the day it's it's kind of like we can have our own little chuckle within ourselves where it's like ha ha, we got you there and you know our game plan and our work ethic and we we took advantage of the opportunities that we have. But again, it's like we only really worry about ourselves and I'm not going to worry about what's going on in the other dugout and what they're doing, because it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1: 35:36

It really doesn't matter.

Speaker 2: 35:37

It's about Mizzou. It's about what we do and our preparation and the trust that we have within each other. You know and I know I'm not giving you like a real detailed answer and the same with the listeners, but it's like this is those back to own it. Like owning it is accept your responsibility. What is your responsibility? My responsibility is prepare my players that's my responsibility and take care of them and, and you know, give them all the opportunities and the resources that they need in order to be successful. Like that's my responsibility. Their responsibility is to carry out that responsibility. Like so the you have a responsibility wearing Mizzou across your chest.

Speaker 2: 36:17

So when we have that relationship back and forth, now I know that even if they fail, they gave me everything that they have and I have to be, I have to be really proud and support that failure, because if I'm only coaching them hard when they fail and I celebrate in their victories, they're not going to trust me. They're not going to trust what I bring every single day. So if we lose, we're going to lose. So if we lose, I don't. It's not about the loss, it's about maybe we didn't prepare you enough, maybe we didn't give forth the effort, maybe they just had the ball bounce the wrong way, you know. So those are things that are out of control. So only control what we can control and then all those back to the owner and accepting that responsibility.

Speaker 1: 36:58

Yeah, I'm stumped. I need to come up with better things to say than I love it, but I do. I love it. I love hearing these responses and the thoughtfulness behind your answers, so I'm going to tell you a story during the 20, I just saw blending together now.

Speaker 2: 37:14

So the 22 region, 22 SEC tournament. We went to the championship game and Jordan Weber is pitching. We're playing against Tennessee and I think what's really remarkable about that run that we had is we threw three shutouts in a row and we didn't have any award-winning pitchers, like we didn't have the Montana fouts and the Rogers, like we don't have those all-American pitchers. But we had three shutouts in the SEC tournament because they bought into their role and they understand what they need to do in order to get batters out. And there was a moment in the SEC game against Tennessee and I miked up, which was really cool for me to go back and be able to listen to some of the conversations that I had.

Speaker 2: 37:55

And I go out to the mound and Jordan Weber is trying to be someone else because she was worried that Chris Malvo and Kate Malvo and the Tennessee dugout knew all about her because they coached the episode. So she's worried that the Tennessee staff has an unbelievable game plan. They know how to hit Jordan. The conversation on the mound was you still be Jordan, you jam them, you ride that rise ball in on their hands. They're going to hit Mouser, foul balls, and this is how we're going to set them up. And I'm like, just trust it. And then she's like, okay, and I'm like, and if it doesn't work, we got somebody else in the bullpen to be able to save you. But just trust it. And I'm like foul ball, foul ball. And you can see that she would look over and be like you're right, Foul ball, foul ball, change up, roll over ground ball Like.

Speaker 2: 38:41

But she just bought into that whole entire process on believing what she's doing is going to be successful enough to be able to get teams out and not trying to be anybody other than herself.

Speaker 1: 38:52

And knowing that her coach had her back.

Speaker 2: 38:55

Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 38:56

She was a, and if it didn't work, you were then owning that and saying okay, I told you to do this. If you do this, I got your back.

Speaker 2: 39:04

Right, yeah, exactly. I can tell you another story that we were playing Mississippi State and I was emotional about an umpire and I let my emotions kind of take over my argument with the umpire and I made a substitution. I didn't follow through and watch the umpire. This is a coaching lesson for everybody out there. I did not watch the umpire make the substitution on her lineup card and I gave the umpire the wrong number of a player because I was emotional and I was distracted by a call and the wrong player ran out in the field as a pinch runner, so it was an illegal substitution. That player ended up scoring an extra innings. They protested it, they appealed it. I should say they appealed it.

Speaker 2: 39:43

The runners called out my team is completely confused Like we just scored, why is the game not over? And my assistant, sarah Marino, said you need to own it. And I went to the team and went into the huddle and I said guys, I just f'd up and I went back. And then they go out the next inning and they score three runs and I'm like holy cow, the impact that that just had of me owning it and not trying to blame anybody else and not making excuses. Just I screwed up and then they go out and they like rose to the occasion. I was like I need to do that more often. So now, realizing that we're all accepting that responsibility and how they trusted a lot more and know that it's okay to screw up and we're going to have each other's back if we do, Incredible.

Speaker 1: 40:31

Thanks for sharing these with us, because that was one of my answers I tried to talk about. Okay, one of the questions I asked is when was a time that you failed as a coach? And you know we play a failure driven sport and we know this but I think sometimes the athletes don't always understand. What does that look like? What does that mean? I wanted to talk about some of the mental skills that you're. You know you talked a little bit about your, why you're very intentional about culture. What are some other mental tools that you're working with your athletes on?

Speaker 2: 41:03

I think that the one I really hit on was was making sure your your feelings match your experiences. You know, and I know that there's a there's a big emphasis on mental health now, especially with collegiate athletes, and I want to support them in every way possible. But I also want them to understand that it's it's okay to be feeling and it's not a bad thing. And it's not a bad thing if things are hard, like you're going to experience hard. Your entire life and your collegiate experience is setting you up to be successful after college and in the real world, and it's going to be hard and it's and it's challenging to pay your mortgage and it's challenging when your baby's crying in the middle of the night, like those are really hard things. If you continue to run away from hard, then you're really going to struggle in the real world when you get outside of college, because it's not. Life is difficult and I just want them to understand that whatever they're feeling is accurate as long as it matches their experiences. It's when it doesn't in line Now we have to kind of address that a little bit more. Or if it carries over and it's impacting other aspects of your life, like just because you had a bad day and you failed at the plate doesn't mean your failure. So it's getting them to to have some grace and let that go, and I don't want the other side of it to not care. So it's finding that right balance. That it's. It's okay to be upset that you failed, but don't carry it over into dinner and then you're going to be able to get into the next day like being able to let it go and rebound, to figure out what you need to work on to be more successful or whatever it is.

Speaker 2: 42:41

It's bigger than softball. It is bigger than softball and you know there's so much pressure that these kids play on and we asked our team last year and we asked them to raise their hand if they feel pressure to perform. And then we kind of went through where are you feeling pressure from? Are you feeling pressure from social media? Yes, are you feeling pressure from home?

Speaker 2: 43:02

And the majority of the hands raised because of home, and it wasn't necessarily their families, it was their hometown, it was. They were a big time kid, they were a big time in their school, they were now playing in the SEC. They felt like if they went home and they were not as successful, as everyone expected them to do. They were being, they were letting everybody down, and so it's letting them know that you are more than just the game. The game isn't who you are, it's what you do. So trying to get them to believe in themselves a little bit more with that, so they are comfortable going into those environments and also celebrating the kid. That's not successful, that's not in the starting line. She still has value.

Speaker 1: 43:43

Because you're representing your dream. You made it. You have Mizzou on your chest and you have it on there for a reason. You're here for a reason.

Speaker 2: 43:50

Yeah, and you're a great teammate and you do all the right things and you're learning more than just softball. And when you come back for alumni day in 10, 15, 20 years, no one is going to ask you what your batting average was. Nobody's going to care. Nobody's going to care. And I love asking players who is your most favorite teammate and I love asking alumni like 10 years removed who is your favorite teammate and it's 99% of the time it's someone who never played. And why were they your favorite teammate? Because they had your back. They supported you all the time. They were fun to be around, they could joke around, they worked extremely hard. Those are the favorite teammates that they remember and those are relationships that they're going to have for the rest of their lives. Those are the people in their wedding, not just because you batted third and you hit 380.

Speaker 1: 44:41

Those are the people you call at 2am when you can't get your baby to stop crying. Exactly the person that's going to Venmo you for Starbucks Send you something. So I asked this question of all of our guests, and I would love to ask it to you as well. This is our last question, and then we'll wrap up. You are a time traveler and you can go back in time and give your past self one message. What would you tell yourself?

Speaker 2: 45:07

Oh, I would tell myself, do not stop exercising. Like that's what I would tell myself, because when you're young and you have the six pack and you're like I don't even do abs, but I have a six pack, like I'm great, I must just have great genetics no, you don't Keep exercising. It's going to go away when you hit a certain age. It's not the same. So I would tell myself, never stop exercising.

Speaker 1: 45:35

You mean running a three hour practice, and hitting fungos is not exercising.

Speaker 2: 45:41

It's not enough. No, it's not enough.

Speaker 1: 45:44

No, like that's a dagger to my heart. Okay, coach, I hear you. I'll get back on that. Thank you so much for this amazing conversation. I love hearing and giving us a behind the scenes and you know, I hope we didn't give away too many secrets. But you know from someone who's in the Midwest and where we got that chip on our shoulder. I loved all the messages that you've shared and anyone listening. You don't have to be from the Midwest to take some of these messages to heart.

Speaker 2: 46:10

No, I appreciate it. It's awesome. I love what you do. You know you're continuing to grow this game and you're growing from all different aspects, so I appreciate you and this opportunity and I'm looking forward to connecting again.

Speaker 1: 46:22

Absolutely, and by the time this airs, we'll have seen each other in the city. See you soon.

Speaker 2: 46:26

Awesome, looking forward to it. Thanks, coach, take care.