029: Unlocking the Next Level by Believing in Yourself With Kiki Stokes O'Connor

This week's episode is a look back on our guest speaker interview with Kiki Stokes-O'Connor. Kiki was a four year starter at Nebraska and contributed to their 2017 7th place win at the College World Series and their 2014 Big Ten Championship. Since college she has played professionally in both the USSSA as well as Athletes Unlimited. She is currently coaching back in her hometown of Kansas City with the Kansas City Roos.

Episode Highlights

• How she balances coaching while still playing
• How she prioritized softball to reach her goals
• The importance of rest and recovery
• How mental skills have helped her

Connect with Kiki
Instagram: @kstokes10
X: @kstokes10
Tik Tok: @kiki.stokes

More ways to work with Fearless Fastpitch

• Learn about our proven Mental Skills Program, The Fearless Warrior Program
• Book a One on One Session for your Athlete
• Book a Mental Skills Workshop for your Team or Organization

Follow us on Social Media

• Facebook @fearlessfastpitchmentaltraining
• Instagram @fearlessfastpitch
• Twitter @CoachAB_

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Welcome to the Fearless Warrior podcast, a place for athletes, coaches and parents who know the value of a strong mindset. I'm your host, coach AB, a mental performance coach on a mission, former softball coach, wife and mom of three. Each episode we will dive deep into all things mental performance, mindset tools and how to rewire the brain for success. So if your goal is to gain the mental edge and learn the secrets of mental performance, you're in the right place. Let's tune in to today's episode.

Speaker 2: 0:40

So this is Kiki, hello. And we have agreed to be our guest speaker tonight, and I'm a little impartial because I am a Nebraska girl. Go big red yeah. And. Kiki played for the University of Nebraska and was a stud in the outfield rockstar in the box. Loved watching you play and then you got recruited, recruited, drafted.

Speaker 4: 1:07

Drafted yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:08

Drafted to play pro ball for the Scrapyard Dogs, and you're currently. Yeah, and now you are also a coach, so literally every facet of the game you've been involved in. So I'm just. You have an awesome perspective. We've got some questions. We want to make it interactive, but this is Kiki.

Speaker 4: 1:26

Hello everybody. Yeah, like she said, I played at Nebraska, loved my time there, loved my coaches. I absolutely adore Nebraska. Anytime I can go back, I love going back to football games. It's a lot of fun. But I'm coaching right now at South Dakota State. I'm still playing with Scrapyard this summer. I don't really know what we're doing just yet because it's an Olympic season and with this whole coronavirus thing going on right now. We're kind of just trying to figure out what route to take, what way to go.

Speaker 4: 1:56

But I played all four years at Nebraska and then I got drafted my senior year to play for Scrapyard and I've been with them ever since. I absolutely love it. It's so much fun. Getting to play with all these different girls from different colleges, I think is the really cool part, because you just get to at one point you're either watching them play or you know you are playing against them, and then getting to play on the same team as some of these girls I think is probably one of the coolest things. And then now to this part in my life where I'm coaching at the Division one level. It's awesome.

Speaker 4: 2:31

South Dakota State is where I'm at and the season up to this point was going really well. Our girls, we were really young, I mean, we had 10 freshmen, nine sophomores, four juniors and one senior. So it kind of sucks right now because everybody's kind of like no sports right now and you guys are probably all bored at home, huh. So it's just a little different. But it's one of those things where you just kind of have to adjust and let things play out and whatever happens happens. And so I'm super excited though, because I mean, whenever season does roll back around, it'll be really fun to get back into it. So for me this summer, right now I'm just trying to stay in shape enough to be ready if we do end up playing the summer.

Speaker 2: 3:21

I love it. That is awesome and it's fun to hear it from your perspective too. So our conversation tonight is wherever you want to take it I just recently dug up your article from the archives. So yeah, from your perspective, wherever you want to take this conversation, these girls are. Some of them are just starting to dive in with mental skills. We can talk mental skills. A lot of them will have questions about recruiting, so I guess the number one question is how did you get to where you are now?

Speaker 4: 3:56

Okay. So I started playing softball when I was probably in like second grade. That's honestly when I just started playing like competitively. I mean I started in kindergarten but like on a team and like you know, traveling and doing that kind of stuff, not until second grade. I loved playing basketball too. So basketball, soccer, softball were like my three main sports and as I got older, softball was kind of the route that I wanted to take and so I really had to choose what I wanted to get serious about.

Speaker 4: 4:34

So about eighth grade I wanted to focus just on softball. I still played basketball, but I didn't do like the travel basketball and same with soccer, I just stuff with softball. And once I got to I committed really early. Now there's a rule where you can't, where you guys can't do that anymore, but I committed going in or my eighth grade summer is when I committed to Nebraska. So it was really early and that's one of the I don't. I don't regret it at all, but it is one of those things where you do need to make sure that you are old enough to be able to kind of make your decision and be smart and what ties with your decision and take your time. So I think the new rule of you guys having to wait until September 1 of your junior year is really smart, because you really don't know until you know.

Speaker 4: 5:22

So and then I went to Nebraska, like I said, all four years, I decided that I wanted to continue playing because I thought it was a really cool opportunity to got drafted. And after that I realized I wanted to coach and I'm at at this point in my life is I am still wanting to play. So for me it's just more about staying in shape and making sure that I'm doing all the right things, like working on my own. It's really hard when I'm coaching right now to be able to do that. I have to just be really disciplined with what I do. There was one thing that I wish Going into college that I would have known a little bit more is just how much work it was going to take to get to the collegiate level.

Speaker 4: 6:08

I know a lot of you guys are probably like wondering how do you play in college and what do you do to play college ball. The biggest thing I would say is one I don't think that you should have to like limit your sports, but if softball is something that you're serious about, you do have to sacrifice a lot. I gave up a lot of free time with, like you know, my friends. My friends would always be like, hey, kiki, you want to spend the night and I was like, oh no, can't softball. And I know you guys are probably at that point where you know you're getting invited to a lot of different things and your friends are doing a lot of different things and you want to do, but you can't because of softball and at the end of the day, it does pay off. I just think there's going to be a lot of sacrifices that you have to make if you want to play at the division, one level even, or in college at all.

Speaker 4: 6:53

It's about priorities too. I think figuring out what your priorities are is really important. And then, once you find those, just working hard every day. I mean, I know that it sounds really tedious, but how many of you guys go to a softball lessons just like raise your hand, like hitting, fielding, yeah, so all of you guys? At that point it's like okay.

Speaker 4: 7:15

So when you're doing things like that, like lessons, if you don't go home and work on those skills, then they're not really helpful. So if you're taking lessons and then you don't do anything with them outside of the lessons. It's gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt you at the end of the day. So that's also something that I wish I would have known is you can't just expect to do softball one to two days a week and then that's it and expect to be good or expect to be recruited in wanting to play at the next level If you can't dedicate at least 30 minutes a day and it doesn't even have to be 30 minutes, it could be 10.

Speaker 4: 7:53

But something to where you're always working on your skills. I think it's really important. Finding that piece and being able to just dive into that, I guess, is the best way to put it. But it is hard, it's not something that's easy, and playing collegially anywhere on the map I think is awesome. It doesn't have to be at a division one level, it could be whatever level you want it to be, because at the end of the day, it's about school too.

Speaker 4: 8:21

I think school was another thing that I really had to prioritize. Your school work is really important, and some of you guys I don't know how old a lot of you guys are, but when you get to high school, your ninth grade year is very different from everything else, from K through eight and I found that art the hard way. I did not have very good grades my ninth grade year and I had to pick them back up because I was like, if I wanna get accepted into a lot of these universities, my grades have to be good and then ACT scores have to be good. So there's a lot of things that go into play, but I think it's one of those things that, like I said, sacrifices probably the biggest thing that I would say to get to this level.

Speaker 2: 9:06

That was awesome. Yeah, so as a guest speaker, the more that we can make it interactive. I'm sure that you guys have questions or thoughts about that, and I know that all of you guys are on different journeys and some of you are looking at playing at different levels. Does anyone have anything that relates to what Kiki just talked about? That might be a good question. If not, that's okay too. I just was curious, Marley.

Speaker 3: 9:31

I was just like talking about you talked about how you really liked basketball and you really liked softball and having to decide between that. Like I am in kind of in a position where I play, travel for both and I really like both, but like how did you like decide that, I guess?

Speaker 4: 9:50

So for me, I played. I guess I played up until my senior year, so I did finish with basketball, but not on my AAU team. I had to stop that only because, too, it was getting really expensive. And just trying to balance both was really stressful for me and for my family. I also have an older brother and a younger sister that weren't doing activities, and so I think it was kind of an easier decision for me, because it was just like all right, pick the one thing that you really wanna do and or what you're really good at.

Speaker 4: 10:21

And I was a lot better at softball than I was at basketball, and so I was just like if this is what my past is going to be, I'm gonna just focus on this. And it was kind of hard at first, but then, at the end of the day, I still got to play high school basketball. So there was still. It wasn't like I completely had to give it up, but it's one of those things where, and if you can afford it and you can balance it, then so be it. I don't think it's a bad thing. Honestly, I say, the more sports the better, just because it's like you wanna be a well-rounded athlete, you don't wanna just say. I'm just a softball player.

Speaker 4: 10:54

I'm just a soccer player Like you wanna be? Able to say that you're a well-rounded athlete and, honestly, at the college level, my coaches loved the fact that we played a lot. Of us girls played multiple sports, so it's definitely like a good thing. I don't think college coaches like look down on the fact that you are playing one more than the others.

Speaker 2: 11:15

So thank you, awesome question. That actually brings up another question for me as a coach as well. I think that burnout is becoming a real thing and thinking about the mental side of the game, knowing that you know, marley, you just finished up basketball season you could really just turn softball on the back burner and just focus on basketball. I mean, what was that like for you once you knew you could kind of mentally not put your eggs in one basket. But I think that burnout is a real thing. What are you seeing as a coach and what did you see as a player?

Speaker 4: 11:47

Yeah, I know, I completely agree. I think that was one of the things that when I realized that I put basketball down, how much easier it was for me at practices Because I know a lot of the times it would be like, okay, you got practice on Monday, but you got basketball at eight o'clock that night. So how are you going to bounce back from it? And when you're younger it's easier, but as you get older, so like once I got to high school, I was like thank God because I was still doing high school basketball. But I was like thank God I wasn't still doing AAU basketball and softball at the same time, because I was so tired all the time. And it's like one of those things where when you do cut out one thing, you do notice your performance excels in another area. And that's how I saw it with softball.

Speaker 4: 12:35

Burnout is a real thing and it can happen with softball too. It's not just and it's for softball. I mean, if you were never giving yourself time to recover, I always say now. So as soon as my season is over, we are done in. Like when I'm playing professionally, our seasons are pretty short, but when my season is over, I typically like to give myself like a month, sometimes longer, to recover, especially now because my body I am giving a little bit of hold. I'm only 25, but I definitely can tell when I'm my body just doesn't recover like it did when I was in college. So giving yourself time to rest is crucial. I mean, you guys are probably all playing travel ball and you guys know the summers get long and by the end of the summer you're like God man, I'm done. And that's the time where you really have to give yourself time to just recuperate, focus on maybe school a little bit more or focus on your next sport, but give yourself time to let your body recover. It's huge.

Speaker 2: 13:39

So I guess the next question you talked a little bit about this. You could cover each of the areas of your life, but if you could paint a day by day picture and give us an inside look of maybe you start with your time at Nebraska and take us from 5 am, 6 am to bedtime, what did your day to day look like? And what does that look like now too?

Speaker 4: 14:04

Yeah, one of the hardest things when I got to Nebraska was time management for me. I was not very good at it and obviously it's one of those things where college is new so you don't really know what you're getting into. But I became very aware of my time. So from the very beginning our normal mornings would look like we would have our head coach. She led like a spin class, so we would do spin class with her and then we would go to conditioning and lifting. We'd have some days it'd be stadium stairs, some days it would be agility work and then we'd lift. And then as soon as we would lift we had to have in Nebraska we had to have all of our classes in the morning because we two o'clock to six o'clock was blocked off for practice. So all of my classes were early in the morning, right from when lifting and conditioning got done. We would go and then practice would start at two and then we'd go to about six o'clock. As soon as we were done with practice we would all go and eat at the training table together, sometimes as a team, sometimes just individually, and then we'd have study hall. So at Nebraska we had as a freshman you have eight hours a week is mandatory for study hall. So we would have to do that, and the enrichment center is what it was called, and sometimes I mean you could go in there, you could do two hours. As long as you had eight hours by Friday by three o'clock, it was fine. So most of the time we're in there. Longer though, because our days are so full, so I would do my homework there, go home, maybe hang out with some friends, if I had time. Honestly, I never really had time, and if I did have time I was too tired to do anything anyways, shower, go to bed and then up the same day. That was kind of the routine in the fall.

Speaker 4: 15:56

Then you get into the spring, you practice Monday, tuesday, wednesday, and then you leave Thursday and you're gone Thursday through Sunday for wherever it is you're on the road. So I mean it's different for everybody, but you play that weekend and then you come back home. Monday is typically your off day. So you get to practice Tuesday, wednesday and sometimes Thursday. Just kind of depends on the where you're going. But most of the time you get two to three practices in a week and then you get about One to two lift sessions in a week when you get into the spring season of, like, when you're going to play, you don't like there's not a ton of Lifting and conditioning just because you're trying to maintain, but we did still have to do it at least once a week and then, yeah, I mean that was pretty much nutshell how season goes there.

Speaker 4: 16:53

Pro ball it's a little different. It changes every year. Sometimes we start in June, sometimes we start in May, at the end of May, and it typically runs through the beginning of August and we don't practice a lot At the very beginning. We have like a spring training for about two weeks and then after that it's all playing. You pretty much are on the road double headers almost every game. So it's really really hard Kind of to Recover because you're playing. It's kind of like major league baseball, honestly, where you're playing every single day and then you have a day off and then you play again. So you're you're constantly playing and then when your season's over you kind of go back to wherever it is You're doing.

Speaker 4: 17:42

Some people coach, some people aren't done with school yet, so they go back to their schools. It's different kind of for everybody. And then here at South Dakota State it's kind of the same as Nebraska. My, I would say our layout is the same, but now I'm coaching, so for me it's. I wake up at about 730, go to the office I'm in charge of like, our flights, our hotels, food. I Am strictly like defense. I work with the slappers, so I have like all of our lefties that we have at South Dakota State or slappers, so I have all of the slappers and then the defense I do catching and field outfield so, and then my head coach is the pitching coach and then the other assistant is the hitting coach, so but we all kind of work together as three with all of, with everybody. It's not like, you know, we have to just do this. We're pretty, we're pretty. I guess we balance a lot. So it's fun and the girls are great. I think it's weird kids all the girls are from everywhere, just about everywhere.

Speaker 4: 18:50

Being in South Dakota, it is really cold all the time. I still haven't gotten used to that. It's like negative 25 degrees almost every day I feel like. But it is, it's definitely jump, but you get used to it and you make it work. It's kind of hard for us to play a lot of home games because it snows a lot up here and we don't have turf just yet. So that's one of the things that, like, we're working on right now to get done at our field, because it's hard having you guys played on turf couple of you guys. Yeah, it's different, but I mean it is something that I think a lot of people are starting to turn to. At scrap yard we play on turf and a lot of schools are starting to add turf to like their outfield and stuff like that. So it's definitely switch. But that's kind of a day in the life of kind of questions. Do you guys have for any of those, any of those parts?

Speaker 2: 19:46

And if you guys just want to unmute yourself and go for it. If you have a question, yeah, just we'll try it out, go for it.

Speaker 5: 19:52

What did you go to school for that you could balance, like having softball in college so well?

Speaker 4: 19:58

That's a good question. Yeah, um. So when I first got to Nebraska I wanted to be a teacher and I did my practicum with second graders and it ruined it. I was like I cannot, I cannot do second graders. They were all over the place. But so then I changed my major to family science because I wanted to do occupational therapy. I wanted to be an occupational therapist assistant and it went well for me. I didn't really have to change my classes around a ton. I was already kind of on the route. I just had to do a little bit more science classes.

Speaker 4: 20:36

The one major At Nebraska that was really hard for a lot of student athletes to do, like engineering or or like the medical field, like nursing. That was kind of hard because you can't really Miss a ton of practice and a lot of the times that the classes were offered for those Specific majors were like around practice times or around games times and then like if you're missing, you know, say we go on a trip and we're gone Thursday through Sunday, well, you're missing class on Thursday and Friday and it's just really hard to get caught back up when you're trying to do something like engineering or Trying to be a doctor, like that's really hard. So OT for me was really easy because a lot of my stuff was online and I Just was doing like my pre-rex because we didn't have that as a graduate program at Nebraska. So I actually still don't have my license to do that. But my fifth year Is when I was like, okay, I'm either gonna coach or I'm gonna go to OT school and I decided I wanted to coach. It's a lot of fun getting to work with our youth and getting to grow. The game is so much fun.

Speaker 4: 21:46

Software, I mean honestly, it was not like this. I don't remember it being like this when I was, you know, growing up. It was. You know people play softball, but now it's like you see it all over, all over everything, and that's. I think what's so cool is that you guys get to be a Part of that and you guys get to be, you know, the ones that are gonna be on TV next like Cool. I'm gonna remember all you guys little names on here, because I'm gonna see some of you guys on TV one day.

Speaker 5: 22:12

Thank you. Who was your biggest supporter when you played your Travel ball when you were younger?

Speaker 4: 22:19

My, my travel ball coach was like he him and I and he's still one of like my. He's honestly like my mentor. I give a lot to him because he he definitely like helped my family a lot and a time just you know, we, like I said, I have two other siblings in softball super expensive. He helped me a lot with just like being able to like help me afford to keep playing like he and he was really good with like Getting coaches to come and watch me play, getting me noticed by a lot of different people and I just I don't know I would say he was my and my family obviously was. They were probably my biggest supporters. But he's definitely somebody that I'm very close to and very grateful for because, honestly, I probably wouldn't be where I am without him in the mix.

Speaker 2: 23:06

So him and my family, I would say If you could go back and work on one or two things, what?

Speaker 4: 23:12

would you work on one or two things, like like a softball, really, or like in high school. So, okay, high school softball. Um, there's one to two things. Base running is huge. Never worked on that like. I Really got away with base running because I was fast. But had I been, you know, just a mediocre kid that you know it was somewhat fast I guess I Probably would have gotten out 90% of the time.

Speaker 4: 23:44

Based running is something that has to be perfected and it has to be worked on. And yes, it's tiring, but as an outfielder I remember, you know, I always hated having to run for the infield during practice, but it's something that when I got to college, I was so grateful for because it made me a better base runner and that's, that's the name of the game now. I mean, you score runs if you're smart. You don't have to be fast, you just got to be smart and you have to know how to run the bases, and if you can do that, I think it changes the game a lot. That's one thing, and then the second thing would be Probably just to like perfect, perfect, the things that I'm uncomfortable with, because I think I was always like, oh, I want to die. I was really good at diving, but that was all I ever wanted to work on. But I wasn't really good at like do or dies, and I always ran away from working on it because I was uncomfortable with it.

Speaker 4: 24:39

So I would say, working on things that make me uncomfortable, and if you don't know what those are I mean, whether it be asking your coach or even in games if you're like, hey, I just don't know why I can't get this or this is something that I'm really struggling with Like write them down and, once you like, have them on paper and you see, you know, this is what I want to work on. It makes it a little bit easier to come into practice and, whether it be like five, 10 minutes, you stay before, after practice. Don't work on that and get comfortable with it, because then it becomes a strength and then sooner or later, you don't really have, you're just trying to, you know, maintain everything. So working on just the things that you're uncomfortable with, that's a good question.

Speaker 2: 25:19

You guys are doing awesome with questions. I really want to make sure that I get to the next one. What is your experience with mental skills? And if you could choose a favorite skill that you relied on, what would that look like?

Speaker 4: 25:36

So positive, I guess. So mental skills is something that I think is great, like if you guys are starting to learn that stuff like now. That is great because before I got to college, I couldn't have told you what mental skills were, couldn't have told you that I used them. I didn't know anything about it until I got to Nebraska and I was really lucky. I had coaches that were really, really, really big into the mental side of the game. As you guys know, softball and baseball both are really. They're failed, like we fail a lot, and so you have to be able to bounce back and be mentally tough. Something that we worked on at Nebraska was mental toughness all the time, so we would do a lot of different things from drills that would, you know, make us have to either think or fail to be able to get through something.

Speaker 4: 26:27

Something that I think that I really learned at my time there was positive self-talk. I was always someone that was like, okay, I can't strike out or I can't, I can't roll over this ball. I was. I didn't really know how to talk to myself when it came to being in college and hitting off of really good pitchers, and I definitely found out a way to talk to myself. For me, I was very like, result driven, and I know some people are result driven, some people are process driven, but for me, I was very result driven. So for me, something that I liked to do was talk to myself positively. So, instead of I have to get this hit or I have to do this, it'd be like put the ball and play here, or I'm going to put this button down here, and I would simplify it for myself so that I wasn't overthinking I can't do something or this is what I have to do. And that's something that took a lot of training.

Speaker 4: 27:24

And mental toughness comes in practice as well being able to bounce back from whether it be an error or whether it be a drill that you guys are doing and you mess up and say you only get one chance. I mean, we did a lot of things that we would have to work through and just try to be mentally tough. Mental toughness is also something that a lot of people get confused with, because it can be kind of like okay, well, am I mentally tough or am I? Do I have anxiety? Those are two things that I think a lot of people are like get mixed up.

Speaker 4: 27:57

Mental toughness to me is being able to tell yourself to push through or to continue doing what you're doing, and if you're doing the work, it'll find its way. And that was the other thing. I think mental toughness only comes to the people that put in the work. You can't expect to be mentally tough if you're not doing what you need to be doing on the other side and that's, I think, really hard because some people are like well, you know, I'm not very confident. Oh hi, I'm not very confident in the box, but at the same time, are you taking swings at practice or are you just taking swings at lesson, being able to separate yourself and tell like, I was most confident when I, when I did the work and my freshman and sophomore year, I really just didn't understand that and I wasted two years because I didn't work hard enough.

Speaker 4: 28:53

And by my junior year I was like, you know, I'm tired of being under looked. I mean, all these people are doing things above me. To see her Romero with somebody that I really I didn't compare myself to, but I was always competing with her. We were the same age, we were both in the big 10. And she was always someone that I was like, okay, I'm not going to let her beat me this week with on base percentage, I'm not going to let her beat me this week with stolen bases, just little things like that. I became really, really competitive and, like I said, result driven which not for everybody, but it is something that helped me.

Speaker 4: 29:27

And just being able to be positive and shake it off. And errors for me were I was an outfielders, so if I had an error it most of the time would hurt the team One of the biggest things I learned as with being an outfielders, they're going to happen, but if you dwell on it, like nothing's going to come out of it. So you got to keep going, got to keep going. You got to shake it off and keep going. And my teammates, I think, respected me because I was very like, all right, well, next play, like yeah, I messed up, but next play, like you're going to get another chance to do it.

Speaker 4: 29:59

And that's what our game is all about who can bounce back the fastest and who can stay in the longest and be tough enough to stay on it and just trust the process. I think the moment that you tell yourself you can't, or the moment that you start doubting yourself, you lose. So it is something that has to be practiced. And if you don't know how I mean, I can even give you things too that, like we did in practice, and things that we do on a daily basis, things that I do with my girls here at South Dakota State that help them push through the mental side of the game, because it becomes a lot, especially when you get older it becomes. You have to have mental toughness at the college level. So it's good that you guys are working on that now, if you guys have started it, because it will help a lot when you get to the next level.

Speaker 2: 30:52

Very cool. I'm sure that there's lots of questions based on that alone. We are at 7.35 and I promise that we would be off in 45 minutes, so the next 10 minutes you guys just ask away, ask your questions, and then, kiki, the last thing that I would ask you to share is if you could go back and tell yourself where you were at at this age. What's one piece of advice that you would share? And maybe we can end with that. But yeah, more questions, you guys.

Speaker 4: 31:24

You guys go for it.

Speaker 5: 31:26

How often did you see your family when you were in college?

Speaker 4: 31:30

In season, so in the spring not very much, unless they came into my games. I never saw them until the summer. So every now and then, like I said, if we were close enough, they would come to games. But other than that I didn't get to really see them. All too often In the fall, when we didn't have like practice on Saturdays or Sundays, I would go home. Sometimes I mean I was three hours away, so I was pretty close, so closer than most of my teammates.

Speaker 4: 32:02

So it becomes one of those things your freshman year you do get a little home. I did get home sick and I was only three hours away, but by my sophomore year I was like I ain't going home. I'm never going home and they want to see me. They can come and see me, but I mean it is hard and family is really important to me. So being able to see them is it was always really fun when they got to come to games and when my sister and my brother would get to come.

Speaker 4: 32:29

Because it's hard and college, I mean you're playing all over the country, so it's not easy by any means, but you make it work and then you get the summers. Sometimes I was always in school still. So at Nebraska most of us would stay for summer school because to stay and work out over the summer. So we weren't just going home and doing nothing, we would stay at school. So but you get, you still get about two weeks off. So most of the time everybody goes home in those two weeks and then they come back to school.

Speaker 5: 33:03

How did you choose Nebraska Like? Was it something about like the softball program, or was it for like the schooling?

Speaker 4: 33:10

So I had actually had a couple of different offers. I had went to Florida first. That's where I first went and I loved everything about Florida. The program was awesome, coach Walton, he was great, but I just didn't really feel very comfortable there. I mean they're great, I mean they won two national, like when I got to Nebraska we actually ended up playing in my freshman year in the World Series and we lost to them and then my. So those two years they'd won it, but I just wasn't comfortable there.

Speaker 4: 33:46

My other offer was to Arizona State and Georgia. Arizona State was just too far from too far home for me. Like I, my mom was actually going through breast cancer, so she was going through like chemo and radiation. So being able to be somewhere where my family could watch me, but as well, close enough to where, if anything happened, I could go and see my mom, was really important to me. And then that was the same with Georgia. I mean, it was just too far from home. Nebraska when I had gotten onto campus I immediately fell in love. Nebraska was one of the first camps that I had went to and the coaches were. I mean, if any of you guys have met them, they're awesome, they are they love their players they love their program.

Speaker 4: 34:31

They take a lot of pride in everything that they do. I would play for them over and over again if I could. They were just they were awesome. I fell in love with coaching staff. That's honestly why I chose Nebraska School. I really it wasn't like I was decided on what I wanted to do when I got there, so that wasn't something that I was what I was choosing based off of, but I definitely chose Nebraska because of that.

Speaker 5: 34:56

Where did you grow up at and what called? I mean, what travel team did you play?

Speaker 4: 35:04

I guess I didn't even say that I grew up in Kansas City. So Olay, Kansas, like Oakland Park is probably what most people know and I played for. The D Marine Aces is what they are now. They're purple and black.

Speaker 5: 35:20

For girls on your team in Nebraska if they were trying to be a nurse or doctor something difficult where the coach is willing to. I don't know how to explain it. Yeah, like work around it.

Speaker 4: 35:33

Yes, so one of the girls on the team, she's actually a dental hygienist now. That was something that was really hard. She also somehow some way she balanced being in a sorority and she did really well but she was really really good in school. So our coaches pretty much they say you know, if you are a good student and you can keep above a 3.0, we'll work around you. But you know, if you, if your grades, you know if you're not, if you're not above a 3.0, we can't have you missing practice for classes pretty much. So yes, they were very like if you absolutely this is what you wanted to do, they were absolutely willing to work around it. But you also had to keep your grades up and pretty much proved why you should be able to do what you want to do.

Speaker 5: 36:19

Okay, Did you play any other sports growing up?

Speaker 4: 36:23

One more time.

Speaker 5: 36:24

Did you play any other sports growing up?

Speaker 4: 36:26

Yep, so okay we guys are going to think it's funny, but I played tackle football from second grade to sixth grade with the boys. I was the biggest time boy, my brother. I pretty much wanted to do everything he did. My brother played basketball, baseball and football, so I wanted to do the same. So second grade to sixth grade, I played football in the fall, and then I played softball in the spring soccer, balance that and then winter I played basketball. So I was really really, really busy. And then when I got to high school, I just did softball and basketball. And then I played volleyball in my sophomore and freshman year and then I was like, yeah, volleyball wasn't for me I'm not the tallest person either, so it didn't work out for me. So I just stuck with softball and basketball after that and then I didn't do soccer in high school.

Speaker 4: 37:24

So do a lot of you guys play multiple sports? Yeah, keep them up, keep them up. I would say that it's one of those things that is like as a college coach, I would absolutely recruit a kid that was a multi sport athlete versus a kid who was just one dimensional. So, and if you are one dimensional, you probably are really good at perfecting that. I'm not saying that that's a bad thing, but it's definitely something that a lot of coaches look for. If you know, if you're recruiting athletes, it's a lot easier, I think, when you get to college, because it's just, you know how to balance already because you've done, you know, multiple sports and you're probably really athletic. It means that you can do a lot of different things. You're versatile. That shows that you know you might not be, I would put it this way. So we have a lot of kids who come in as end fielders and then they might end up being an outfielder, but for us it's like oh well, they can do something else. So I think it's really and that's important too, when you're younger play a lot of different positions, don't just play one spot, because when you get to college you might not play that one spot.

Speaker 4: 38:37

So she said was outfield always the spot you wanted to play? If not, what was it? She's like oh my God, my question came through Outfield was not. I hated outfield, to be honest. So from when I started seventh grade I had always been. Up until seventh grade I'd always been a shortstop, a shortstop second baseman. And then, when this girl, she tried out for our team and our coach was like hey, kiki, you know you're really fast and this girl can't really play in the outfield, so would you want to do it? And I was like no. And he's like, well, you don't have choice, so you got to go. Well, I absolutely hated it, because when you're younger, I mean nothing gets hit out there, so it's kind of boring.

Speaker 4: 39:24

But then I started realizing, as I was getting older I was, more and more balls were starting to come to the outfield and I kind of made it like a game in my head of just like nothing drops and that's where I started diving and making really cool plays and then it kind of became my and then in high school I played shortstop in outfield and then when I got to college, played shortstop for like one day, two days of practice and coaches like, nah, you're going to just be an outfield to here. So it's probably not the best idea, so that didn't last for very long, but I'm so glad I am an outfielder. I think it's one of the positions that's under looked. People don't really pay attention to a lot of outfielders. I think it's one of the most important positions because they're last line of defense and you get to make really cool plays and beyond sports center. So I think it's cool.

Speaker 2: 40:16

Kiki, thank you for your time. If you could leave us with one last golden nugget, what would that be?

Speaker 4: 40:22

I would say, to just enjoy your time playing softball. You don't get to play this sport forever and sometimes you are fortunate to play at the next level and continue to get to play. It's one of those things that I think that this game is going to bring a lot of different people into your life, and these are going to be the friends that you have now are going to be the friends that you probably have for a lifetime. Your teammates are your family. Take care of them, take care of each other and just have fun. I think that this game is all about having fun, and the people that succeed at this game are the ones who are always having fun.

Speaker 4: 41:03

That would be probably my last piece. And then to just work hard. Don't let anybody outwork you. I think that's probably one of the biggest things. Now I can honestly say that you can be anything you want to be and you can be a star, you can be the standout if you work hard for it, but can't complain if you don't work. And I just think it's one of those things that if you are always saying, did I give my best today, ask yourself that at the end of the day, did I give 100% today Did I go all out today? And if you can always say yes, you'll always be happy with yourself and you'll always be happy with the game, and the game rewards those that do that go above and beyond of what it's asked. And so just love every minute of it and enjoy it and have fun and work hard, you guys good.

Speaker 2: 41:53

Okay, so if they have any questions, I know it's a little bit trickier because you are a Division one coach and so we have to be cautious of rules and how we do that. But if they comment and ask a question on Instagram posts, can you reply to their comment on?

Speaker 4: 42:13

social media. Yeah, and if you guys too, I'm allowed to so because I'm still playing, I am allowed to still like answer questions, and so I won't get like lagged or in trouble if I like answer, if, like you guys were to DM me on Instagram or something like that. I wouldn't get in trouble for answering it because I am still playing, but once I stop playing then I do have to go a different route, like but you guys would are completely fine with asking questions.

Speaker 2: 42:44

And so your Instagram is tagged and they can also reach out. Reach out to me and I have your contact info as well. So my last comment is just you guys have access to so much of your fingertips with social media, you guys are lucky.

Speaker 4: 42:59

Oh my God, this is so cool the fact that this is even a thing like guys when I tell you like I did not have any of this growing up. So this is actually really really cool. And, amanda, it's so cool that you're getting so many people involved, because this is truly what it means to grow the game. I mean, you guys are getting to listen to all these awesome speakers and I don't know how often you guys do this, but, like you guys are lucky. You guys are really really lucky to have someone that's being able to set things up like this for you guys, because it does make a difference and I think it does. You know, show a lot to you, know how much you, how much she works for you guys. I mean, this is so cool. I think that this is one of the coolest things I've ever done. So welcome back.

Speaker 2: 43:43

Back anytime anytime, anytime. And I want to see a cooking show before the end of next week.

Speaker 4: 43:48

So you guys got follow me so you can watch my cooking shows hilarious.

Speaker 2: 43:52

Okay, I'm on.

Speaker 4: 43:54

TikTok now too. So that's my new thing and all you guys probably got.

Speaker 2: 44:00

Okay, give Kiki an amazing send off, a wave, a hang loose, a look, look, whatever, and I will see you guys on the side.

Speaker 4: 44:09

Bye guys, thank you so much. You're welcome. Bye.