032: Turning Adversity into Opportunity and Being Mentally Tough with Gladine Frasso

ABOUT GLADINE FRASSO

Gladine Frasso is a dynamic and sought-after keynote speaker renowned for her inspiring journey of resilience, confidence, and overcoming adversity.  She owns I Am Mentally Tough, which seeks to improve the mental game of athletes and maximize their performance. In our conversation, Coach G shares her personal experiences where she was able to turn adversity into opportunity, and how learning mental skills helped her along the way.

Episode Highlights

• How she went from never having played basketball to leading scorer in high school
• How she found her confidence
• How mental skills helped her succeed in the work force
• Her journey to coaching mental skills in athletes

Connect With Gladine
Instagram: @iammentallytough
https://www.iammentallytough.com/

More ways to work with Fearless Fastpitch

• Learn about our proven Mental Skills Program, The Fearless Warrior Program
• Book a One on One Session for your Athlete
• Book a Mental Skills Workshop for your Team or Organization

Follow us on Social Media

• Facebook @fearlessfastpitchmentaltraining
• Instagram @fearlessfastpitch
• Twitter @CoachAB_

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Welcome to the Fearless Warrior podcast, a place for athletes, coaches and parents who know the value of a strong mindset. I'm your host, coach AB, a mental performance coach on a mission, former softball coach, wife and mom of three. Each episode we will dive deep into all things mental performance, mindset tools and how to rewire the brain for success. So if your goal is to gain the mental edge and learn the secrets of mental performance, you're in the right place. Let's tune in to today's episode.

Speaker 1: 0:38

Gladen Frasso is a dynamic and sought-after mental toughness coach and keynote speaker, renowned for her inspiring journey of resilience, confidence and overcoming adversity. With a background as an athlete, corporate professional and entrepreneur, gladen brings a unique blend of personal experiences and insights to captivate and motivate diverse audiences. Her keynote will transform audiences' perceptions of challenges. Instead of seeing adversity as the end of the road, they will see it as a bend in the road. Love that so much. She inspires others to become unstoppable champions in their own lives. When she's not wearing her coach hat, she wears many other hats, as a wife, mother, small business owner and corporate professional. I am so glad I have her here. Live with me today. Coach G, welcome to the pod.

Speaker 2: 1:31

Hey, coach AB. Thank you so much for the invite.

Speaker 1: 1:34

I'm so pumped. You and I have had conversations in the past and even just now before hitting record.

Speaker 2: 1:40

We're like whoa, whoa, whoa, we gotta stop this hit record, right, right yeah, tell the fearless fan a little bit about you.

Speaker 1: 1:48

I know we have the beautiful bio. Yeah, tell us, give us a little bit more. Who are you? What do you do?

Speaker 2: 1:55

A little bit more about me. As you said, I'm a keynote speaker, I am a mental toughness coach and I work in the corporate world as an environmental, health and safety engineer. I am a mom to two beautiful kids and a wife to extremely handsome guy, and the gist of it is that who I am. Everyone knows me as someone who is a motivator. Like, don't come to G with your problems because she's going to help you solve them or at least give you about 10 to 5 action items you can walk away with. So, friends know me, don't come to me with a pity party or whatnot. I'm just going to help you, I'm going to motivate you.

Speaker 2: 2:30

I'm also a former athlete, as you mentioned, and I'm not sure if we'll get to it, but taught myself how to play the game of basketball in eighth grade and ended up being an all time leading score at my high school just by dedicating my time and energy towards the craft. Like, yeah, so that's that's. That's basically a gist of it. So it depends on the questions that you ask. We could go up, you could go down a certain road, but that is just me and I love everything.

Speaker 1: 2:57

Mindset, you know again, if you have a conversation with me is going to go straight back to mindset, so yeah, it affects everything and I know your story, so let's let's kind of dive in One of the things that I didn't know, which is kind of a surprise to me. Of course, I know that you're big into the basketball community, but gee, I had no idea you didn't start playing until eighth grade.

Speaker 2: 3:17

Yeah, yeah, I did not start playing to eighth grade. So my family and I lived in New York seven years in Brooklyn and seven years in Queens and then we moved to Leesport, pennsylvania, and shout out to Leesport, and I was in a small town where I was the only only African American student at my school. And so when you go to a new school and I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this when you go to a new school, the first thing you want is what you want? Friends, right, you don't. You don't want to be the outcast. So my main thing was like I need some friends. How am I going to make some friends here? So I'm looking at all the girls and like we ain't got nothing in common and I was like you know what? We have something in common. I love the Backstreet Boys and I'm like I know somebody here. I love the Backstreet Boys. So that was my way of getting in.

Speaker 2: 4:01

But the opportunity to speak about Backstreet Boys never came in and I remember I was at my locker and by the end of the day you could tell who the popular girls were and I saw them coming towards me. I'm like, oh no, don't mess this up, don't mess this up. So they came over to me and they said, hey, do you play basketball? And at that moment I had a split, split second decision. So so I lied. I'm like, yeah, I played basketball. He's got tall. I am, of course, I played basketball. I've never played organized basketball ever in my life. I've watched it with my dad and my brother, but never played basketball. And there was like, awesome, you should be on a basketball team. Tryouts are In November, so, which was a couple of months. And I was like, yes, that man. So ever since then, you know, I had those group of girls part of the popular group, and then Basketball season came around. I had to show up my skills, right, and I was laugh at this story, no matter how many times I tell it. But I was horrible, horrible to the point where I was shooting at the wrong basket.

Speaker 2: 4:52

The game of basketball require you, requires you to dribble in order for you to get to point eight, to point B, point C. I held the ball like a football and I was running up and down the court and the girls was like that's not how you play. So, but I stuck with it, right, I showed up to every single practice and Every single practice I got better, and so what I did is okay. In order for me to get better, I need to learn the game. So Research on internet how to do a crossover I literally remember Googling how to do a crossover, printing out Alan Iverson's, you know step by step crossover.

Speaker 2: 5:24

I started to take games. Back then it was VHS, taping games and replaying and watching, watching over again. My top three players that I like to watch was Iverson, kobe Bryant and Vince Carter, and came a garnet a little bit, so watched it. And then each day I'll come back to practice just a little bit better, a little bit better, and by the end of that eighth grade season I scored my career high a whopping six points. It was a career. It was amazing that the feeling that I had of putting the ball through the hoop, knowing that I practiced it or I watched it and Actually, you know, performing that task out there in a on the court, was great.

Speaker 2: 5:58

And so that summer between my eighth and ninth grade Only then I asked my parents for was a basketball hoop outside the house. It took a while to get it, so I had a basketball hoop like a park named my house Belch. A ten minute walk wasn't that bad. I know I had across a major street getting there, but I would go there every day with a basketball right down. What I was working on 10 shots this side, 10 shots that side dribbling my plan every day was very beat-held. It wasn't me showing up to the basketball court saying, huh, what am I gonna do today. I was in practicing half court shots or, you know, dummy shots. It was a legit plan. I did that every single day. I said no to going to the mall and those trips, said no to the parties over the weekend. I'm like I love this, you know, and that, that, that when I was internally motivated, I wasn't motivated about anything else. It was that fun, the excitement that I got while playing. And so that next year, in my ninth grade year, not only did I make the varsity girls varsity basketball team, but I was a starter on the varsity basketball team and that just it was all dedicated. It just showed how much I was dedicated over the summer, just one summer, and I ended up graduating as an all-time leading score with 1796 points.

Speaker 2: 7:11

And so I love telling that story because it's it shows that if you want to accomplish something. It's going to take time. You got to really be Committed. You can't be interested. When someone's interested in something, they only work on it when it's convenient, when they feel like it. But when you're committed, it doesn't matter how you feel. You're gonna find a way to do it and that's exactly what I did, and now I could look back. Now I'll tell them my daughter, my son hey, mommy name is in the. You know the stands right there. If you ever get to visit. You know that Berks County championship. Mommy was a part of that team and the big reason why we won that. You know that championship. So that's. That's that story about. Um, my high, my high school basketball career.

Speaker 1: 7:50

And I love this story so much because this is the first time that I've heard this story but I only knew the all-time score and I knew I knew those stories but you telling behind the scenes.

Speaker 2: 8:00

Yeah big.

Speaker 1: 8:01

so many questions on what exactly I want to talk to you today, because not only are you a mental toughness coach, you're a mental performance coach, you're you're preaching these things, but none of that would have been possible had it not been for the physical it's right, cool and the mental the physical and the mental now You've discovered mental skills. What mental skills are? If you could go back to that eighth and ninth grade you know, gee, that's the two, open it up Were you using mental skills and not even realizing it?

Speaker 2: 8:31

Yes, exactly, and I tell that story a lot. I was using mental skills, I was visualizing.

Speaker 1: 8:35

I don't know what.

Speaker 2: 8:36

I was visualizing all the time, especially before a game. This is how I want to play, this is how I want to feel, and if I don't have a good game, how am I going to respond? Because there are times where I would just get so upset not to the point where I'm kicking the ball or anything, but I'll get so upset. But then I started visualizing okay, gee, sometimes you get really upset and you can't get yourself out of that funk. How would you like to feel? And then I'll just visit a lot.

Speaker 2: 8:57

Visualize myself Responding to, like, a miss shot or a triple team that really got me. Like I would hate. No, I want to say hate. I Love getting double team because I was beat the double team. Right, I'm not being cocky here, but I always beat the double team.

Speaker 2: 9:12

And I would get upset when I couldn't defeat a double team. I'm like, come on, and so I would visualize myself responding to a double team and so, and when I would get double team and it didn't and it worked for them, my go-to was to smile and laugh like, okay, they got me, but they're not gonna get me again, right, and that, that was that was key, was to smile and laugh and go play defense. But then, by the time when they will double to me the first time, I saw where the double team was coming. All you had to do was double to me the first time. So I know where the double team was going and I and I would know how to split it or I would know how to pass out of it and reposition myself to get the ball again. So yeah, the visualization was one of the big things that I was doing. That I didn't know was a mental skill.

Speaker 1: 9:53

Well, same here. I think, if you key into the, the skills that we teach today, I think if we could go back and what would have been possible had we know what we know now, right, I giggle, I just giggle this is a really cool question that I don't know the answer to. When did you discover mental performance? And I know you and I's worlds have crossed because of Brian Cain Yep. Tell us that journey and that story.

Speaker 2: 10:19

So I discovered mental performance after I graduated college. So I graduated college, I was working. Finally, I went into straight into corporate America, the first big girl job, you know, making the money whatever. And being that I lived in such a small town, everyone knew who I was. So I was holding skills and development training at a park the same park I would go to when I was younger, and I only charged $10 because I really didn't need the money, but I was just charging, you know, just $10.

Speaker 2: 10:47

And as I was training my athletes, I would get similar emails or text from the parents which were around hey, I'm not sure what you're doing with my daughter or my son, but her confidence level just shut up. And so when I, when I got like the third text, like that, I'm like I'm not really doing anything different. But then I sat and had to realize okay, what like, what am I doing with these kids? And I realized that most of my sessions was, it was talking more than actually doing the physical part. And when they would come to me and talk about confidence, I would say this is what confidence is. You know, this is how you build your confidence back up. If you miss a shot, that is fine, tell yourself, you get it right back. And so it was teaching the self talk. It was teaching a lot about confidence and I'm like, oh, that's what I've been teaching them, it's a mindset thing.

Speaker 2: 11:35

So then I remember at one day at work during my lunch break I usually went out to like a chat, my favorite Chinese spot. But I stayed in during my lunch break once and then I was Googling mindset training or mental training or teaching the mind. I didn't even know what words I was put out, just trying to put words together that talked about mindset. And then I saw, you know, quite a few certifications pop up, took one wasn't really what I really wanted. But then I think, after some time I found Brian Kane. I'm like, oh, this is it, I love this and my coaching practice. Well, coaching career didn't really lift off until after Brian Kane, because he puts it such in a simple way for us and the way he invests in us, how he taught us right. And after that, that's when my coaching career really took off, after taking Brian Kane's MPM certification. I love that. Shout out to Brian. I think I just told Brian and Ryan.

Speaker 1: 12:31

He brings the juice. Yes, yes. So this is, oh my gosh. I could take this conversation in so many different directions, but you know, talking about using mental skills, discovering mental skills. How are you using them today? Because I know that you've got I am mentally tough and how you work with athletes. We're going to stay till the end, make sure you guys can follow G and everything that you post, but how are you currently working with your athletes on the mental side?

Speaker 2: 12:59

Okay, and so again I'm a plug in Brian Kane one more time. He did have an intense, like 12 week, one on one, not one on one group coaching, and so I wanted to do something similar. Brian Kane has a 10 pillars. I didn't want 10 pillars, I wanted to do something around basketball and so, as you know, the starting five it's called a starting five the first people that start in the game is starting five. So I created a starting five of mental toughness and its resilience, goal setting, confidence, relaxation and leadership, and I think I encompass all of those.

Speaker 2: 13:30

So when I meet one on one with my clients, it's basically all right, tell me where you are, let's talk about where you are, what's going on, just just talk. I just want you to talk, and then, all right, tell me where you want to go, what are your goals, and then from there we customize your plan. And so my favorite pillar, I would say, is goal setting. But my second favorite, which is right under, is resilience about how are you bouncing back from adversity. Because it's not. If we're going to face adversity is just a matter of when. Everyone's going to face adversity, whether it's small, whether it's big, we're going to face adversity. So how are you going to bounce back from that? What is your mindset going into it, what is your mindset going through that process and what is your mindset after? So goal setting and resilience on our top two.

Speaker 1: 14:15

So good and you keyed on it and I have this written down adversity we have to talk about your story about adversity, yeah. Let's kind of switch.

Speaker 2: 14:24

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 14:25

Tell us that story.

Speaker 2: 14:26

Yes. So there's actually two different stories. Which one you want to know In, college basketball or corporate America? I could do both. I love it, you choose, all right. All right, I'll talk about college basketball and, if we have time, we'll talk about corporate college basketball. Highly recruited, many D1 schools. I think about two to three D2.

Speaker 2: 14:46

At the time, I was very, in a very committed relationship with my boyfriend and I wanted to stay home. I'm a mama's girl as well. I adore my mom, so I wanted to stay home. So I went to Millersville University, which was about 45 minutes from my home, and for those listening talking about oh, she chose a boyfriend over. Listen, he's my husband now. Ok, so I went to Millersville University and graduating as an all-time leading score I'm at a high, I love the school, I see where I could fit in and then one of our open gyms.

Speaker 2: 15:20

Before the season actually started, my coach said something to me and I don't really know exactly what she said. It was how she said. It was very demeaning to me, very demeaning with the finger in my face, and I didn't like that at all. And so I shut down, completely shut down. Confidence out the window. Right, we talked about confidence being the physical part and then the mental part. I think this story talks about the mental part confidence out the window.

Speaker 2: 15:40

And my whole freshman year I just quote unquote forgot how to play the game basketball. I worry too much about my next move, I worry too much about what the coach is going to say. I was just thinking too much. And so my entire freshman year, I did not play, I did not play. I sat at the bench, I was a bench warmer, and I remember talking to my mom I'm going to transfer out, I don't want to be here. She doesn't know what real talent is All sorts of cost words that I can't say right now but she doesn't know what a good player is.

Speaker 2: 16:10

And so, as you can see, I'm starting to blame, I'm started to not take ownership of what I was not doing correctly, and I showed up to college ball unprepared. I didn't know there was a drastic difference. It's much more intense, right, everybody's as good as you. And so for me, and like what I like to preach, when you go to the next level, everybody's as good as you. It's your mindset that's going to separate you.

Speaker 2: 16:32

And so I remember one day I was in my dorm room I was just looking at books or just organizing and there was a book I picked up. It was a scrapbook that one of the parents from my high school teammate, she, made for three seniors. So I graduated with two other seniors and so she made a scrapbook and a scrapbook. She was one of those moms who clipped every article clipping of you and so I opened it up and it was a scrapbook of my career and I think it was mostly just my senior year. And I'm open it up and you see, gladden dominates once again. Another article clipping. Nobody could stop. St Julian. Another article St Julian drops 33. Another article she came in and dominated and it's the key word I was dominate. Other keywords were strong and seeing all the points that I scored and at that point I realized like I am good, I had to remind myself who I was.

Speaker 2: 17:27

And that's that confidence resume. You have to remind yourself of the accomplishments you have made in the past. And so I'm looking at this, just, I'm like, oh my, I did that, like whoa, like you know what I mean. I'm looking at it, I'm like, wow, I remember that game. I remember that game. I remember I made a girl cry that game.

Speaker 2: 17:42

You know what I mean. So it just I'm like all right, next I'm coming in with a new attitude because I'm not going to let a coach tell me that I can play. I'm not going to let a coach grab my confidence away. Confidence is completely all on you. It is your job to build it. It is your job to maintain it. You do not let anybody take your confidence away, no matter what they say to you, and that was my mindset going in, that that's my job.

Speaker 2: 18:05

But she said something that's on her. I can't take it a certain way. I know I am. So that's where that self talk really came in for me. And so whenever she'll say something that you know I didn't like or trying to demean me, I remind myself I am glad and sing Julian. And that glad and sing Julian at that time, just purposely, I tied it right there. And then to my basketball career. Like I am glad, it doesn't matter what she says. So was that self talk before practice? Look, she's going to say some things to you. Shake it off, don't worry about it, don't take it personal. She says it to everybody. And that's the thing I didn't realize. I was really focusing more on me. She was cussing everybody out, right, but I was just really focusing on me. I'm like she does it to everybody, that's fine, so just come back stronger If you mess up. And she asked you to spring, you better be the fastest one on that court up and back, right. So I was taking personal accountability for the things that I wasn't doing.

Speaker 2: 18:54

My freshman year and next year you know some games I started I started off off the bench and then began starting. Then junior year, starting for senior year, captain Starting, and again another 1000 point score, 11th all time. So at that time, graduating, 11th all time. So it was that self talk. I was really putting myself down more than anybody else that year. Yeah, the coaches, that's their job. They're trying to bring that out of you, right? Not knowing that may not be the best way to do it, but that's their job. And so you really have to take responsibility of your confidence and how you show up each and every day. What can you control? You cannot control her mouth. You cannot control your teammates frustration, but you can't control how you respond to every single one of those. And that is what I took personally that year, boom.

Speaker 1: 19:43

Mic drop on mic drop on mic drop on mic drop.

Speaker 2: 19:47

Yeah, oh good.

Speaker 1: 19:48

Gee, I love it so much so we do have a little bit of time, if you have time. I know you blocked out for the interview. Yeah, I think there are so many nuggets that we could take away from your story on the athletic court, which I haven't said this yet, but I just. I worked with the school district this year. I am also learning basketball, so I learned this year what a screen was. My Milford basketball girls are listening to this. You know exactly what I'm talking about Screen.

Speaker 2: 20:16

Hopefully you don't get caught in one of them. Teach the game, but please don't try to participate Because you might get screened really hard. Yeah, no thanks, that's awesome.

Speaker 1: 20:26

I'll take my picture circle.

Speaker 2: 20:27

I like my ball.

Speaker 1: 20:28

So let's kind of transition the conversation, because you know you've talked about this in your keynotes of turning adversity into an opportunity, and you know obviously that changed the trajectory of your college career. Yeah, how has that impacted your professional career Wow.

Speaker 2: 20:45

So another thing, a very adversity that I'd face, was corporate America. You know, after graduating I secured my first big girl job and I did not perform well. But of course that first year I'm like this boss doesn't know anything, whoa, why is he yelling at me? And the only thing that really woke me up was me getting fired. I'm like whoa, my parents did not raise me this way. I did not work so hard to get here, not only in sports but academics right, and I need to get A's and B's to graduate for me. I'm like I don't work this hard to get fired by a company. Getting fired means you weren't doing your job. Getting fired means you weren't doing it enough. Getting fired means you were not doing it enough. You were not the person that the organization wanted you to be and they set out certain standards for you and you weren't meeting that. And so again, another eye-opening moment, and it was. I had to stop with the BCD and stopping with the blaming, complaining and deflecting Like was everyone else's fault. No, it was my fault.

Speaker 2: 21:47

So at that time, the boss who fired me this was about like 15, 20 years ago I reached out to her probably a month or two after, after I got my self together and I said, hey, can you do a SWAT analysis on me? And for those who don't know what a SWAT analysis is you taking a look at your strengths, your weaknesses Sorry, yeah, your strengths, weaknesses, your opportunities and your threats. And she gave me all of that. And then I really she looked at my strengths. One of the strengths that I didn't even know about is when you walk into a room, you literally capture everyone's attention. I guess just by I don't know what it was my height, my smile, my demeanor you capture everyone's attention. So you need to own that. I was like, all right, got it. And then, but my weaknesses, she listed a lot. One of them was not speaking up Because the role that I had. I was in that position where I had to speak up. I had to make judgment calls, I had to lead others who were in senior positions than I, and so I was like, oh, this is golden. This was like my map on how to become a better engineer at that time. So I went into. I invested in books, I invested in leadership courses, I invested in conferences how to be a better leader, how to advocate for myself, how to be more assertive. All of that and that really helped my career. It helped me as a person too.

Speaker 2: 23:11

Sometimes, when I'm talking to others or I'm going about my day-to-day business, I'm like I can't believe this is me from 20 years ago, like this is different. But one thing that I found in corporate America is that if I don't have a why because I asked myself, I'm like why was I so driven in sports and I will do whatever, but I'm not doing it right here it's because I had no why. I really had nothing to work for, and so I had to find out my why. What is it that I wanted? And so I made a list of the things that I wanted. I wanted to be in a senior role. I wanted to travel. I wanted I love water, I love the Caribbean. I just put it out there I want to work in the Caribbean. And then another thing that I wrote down like I miss my high school boyfriend. I miss him because he broke up about this time. I want my man back. So I just wrote everything that I wanted and I worked towards everything and 15, 20 minutes I mean 15 years later I ended up being a regional manager and working in the Caribbean. Like I said, there's insights like Aruba, st Thomas, bahamas, all those beautiful sites, and I did end up marrying my high school sweetheart. So it was about visualizing, manifesting everything that I wanted and not just thinking about it and manifesting it and visualizing. I had to put the work behind it Again. So that same type of energy, the work ethic that I put in when I was younger making the high school team, the same type of energy and work ethic that I placed behind in building. I'm building where I am right now and I'm in a really, really great position.

Speaker 2: 24:43

I know a lot of people know that I have the coaching business and still working a corporate job and I'm always getting asked are you ever going to leave? For what? No, I love my job. I love getting challenged. Again, like I said, I'm in a room where others look nothing like me. I used to shy away from that. I used to hate it, but I love it because I get to learn about other people. I learn how to lead people who have different thoughts in me or different type of backgrounds in me. I love it.

Speaker 2: 25:09

It's a challenge for me. I move, I gravitate towards challenge. I don't move away from challenge and that's what helps me grow up going toward it. When I feel something is challenging, I don't back down. I look at it, I plan all right, how am I going to maneuver this, how am I going to get the best result possible? And I go for it. And if things don't work out ISS, all right, this is going to work, this work all right, let's go again. So yeah, so that was about that story behind my corporate career and I'm still here. I don't see me going anywhere Again. I just love the challenge. I love the people that I work with, the relationships that I built. It's amazing.

Speaker 1: 25:43

And I know you're really humble, but before we hit record, you're managing a team of over 150, is that?

Speaker 2: 25:49

right, 150, yeah.

Speaker 1: 25:51

Yeah, and so this is an incredible opportunity to use both sides of your life.

Speaker 2: 25:57

Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 25:58

And I think it's a beautiful flow of these skills and you're not just teaching them, you're not just coaching them, you're using them, which is so beautiful and so awesome.

Speaker 2: 26:07

Yeah, and being a captain on my high school team and a captain on my college team, we never were on the same page. Well, I want to say never. There were times where we weren't on the same page and I had to bring our team in. And I feel sometimes I do the same thing here. We're all going to have different opinions, but how can we get the best solution? And we all have one goal. So what can we do to play our part to accomplish that one goal? We have different type of team players. You're playing a different position. You're playing a different position. You probably don't get much playing time, okay, but how can we accomplish that one goal? And that's the thing that I love. I love bringing my team together. I absolutely love that part.

Speaker 1: 26:47

Yeah, For sure. And I think if you could rewind to your corporate G when you started and to the Gladden now, what would you go back? And this is kind of one of our podcast questions that we ask everybody. But I think the question that I have for you is that you felt like when you realized one of your weaknesses was staying quiet. Was that because that you weren't being true to yourself in your first job?

Speaker 2: 27:13

I think the reason why I was being quiet and I think we said that before we started recording was I was in a room where people didn't look like me and they may not have valued my opinion. You know, and I'm just going to be straight up, I was the only African American, the only woman in the room and probably the youngest, by like 20 plus years. So I was in an uncomfortable position. I'm like these people don't got, they don't want to hear what I have to say. I mean, and you know, look at their position. I'm in this position, like they don't want to hear anything that I have to say.

Speaker 2: 27:42

But I had to realize those were the limiting beliefs I was telling myself, these stories that are not true. And you can ask anybody in the room do you care about? Gladden say absolutely. But I was telling those stories that are false and I had to really believe, like believe in myself. You're here for a reason. They didn't pick you out of a hat. You're here for a reason, right, and so it was just about realizing that. And now I'm very vocal, very respectful to my team, make sure that I hear their views and they hear my views. But I'm very, very vocal and just. I love interacting with my team. Very different than the clatter from 20 years ago.

Speaker 1: 28:19

Yeah, I think I can think of a lot of my clients who you know. If you're listening, you know exactly who you are. You know if you're a, you're a freshman and you're asking yourself you know well, who am I to lead? And you're you know, you're running that starting spot on varsity and you feel like coaches are giving you feedback of we'll be louder, command the field and do those things like what if? What if you did right, without changing who you are, but like what if you did right?

Speaker 2: 28:46

Just just just go ahead and if it doesn't work out, then so it doesn't, then it doesn't work out right. But you will never know if you don't attempt. Just just. I love Nike. Everyone knows that I love Nike and I'm just. I have Nike to like all right now and if I wasn't doing this podcast, I'll have my Nike hat on right now. But I got to represent. I am mentally tough. But Nike's slogan just do it. It's very simple, just do it.

Speaker 2: 29:09

And whenever I'm in a position where I'm fearful and I feel like it doesn't matter how mentally tough you are, you're going to experience some doubt, you're going to experience some fear. And you know there's a misconception, misconception about being I am mentally tough was like oh, I don't, I don't have fear, I don't have any. No, you do, and I can realize that they have it. But they don't let that determine how they, their next move. They, they, they use it as fuel or they they identify, they see it, they accept it. But, okay, I'm not going to let you bring me down. I see you're there, but I'm going to, I'm going to be courageous and just you know, and just go for it. So I do have those doubts, of course, but it's that self-talk right, reminding myself who I am, reminding myself what I'm capable of, and just trying. And if it doesn't work out, what's the worst that could happen? If it doesn't work out, okay, I might my idea got shut down, it's fine, okay move on.

Speaker 2: 30:01

Where you started, right back where I started, move on, yeah, and just just use that as feedback. Whenever I get a no, is it okay, and not to be annoying is okay. Why Can you tell me what? What played in that position? Like, what happened? Like, why are you saying no, what can I do better? I always ask what can I do better. I always ask that. So. But yeah, for me it's just, it's all about mindset and I'm very excited of where my future takes me. Again, I'm always, I always have that open mind and you know, having that growth mindset.

Speaker 1: 30:33

So yeah, so good. And so I'll hand you the mic and ask you our final question. If you could go back and give your past self one message, what, what would you say?

Speaker 2: 30:45

The day you stopped thinking about what people think about you is the day you start living.

Speaker 2: 30:49

I was crippled a lot by what people thought about me all the way from how I talk my accent, about what I wore. Like I said I lived in New York for 14 years and then moving to Leesport, pennsylvania, where it's an all-white school. It's kind of like an identity crisis, like who you know got made fun of for being who I was and you know my accent. So I don't think I ever told anybody except my therapist. Like the voice you hear now is like I trained myself to talk this way because of how I was in middle school. Like my accent was just so strong and they couldn't really understand my New York accent. So I'm like all right, I'm an eighth grader. I'm like all right, I have to change the way I talk and this is the voice you have now.

Speaker 2: 31:36

But yeah, the day you stop thinking about what people worry about you is the day you start living. Because if you continue to worry about them, you're worried about this person, that person you're like in a mental jail. You're trying to please so many people and it's not going to work out because you cannot find your true self. You cannot be your true self and I'm so glad that I learned that at an early age Like this is me, and this is what you get Right, and she's awesome.

Speaker 1: 32:02

Thank you. Thank you so much I appreciate that.

Speaker 2: 32:05

Coach AB, see me you. This has been so fun.

Speaker 1: 32:09

I knew like just so you guys know, sometimes I prepare questions and I told G from the start is like I don't need to prep questions. I'm having an amazing conversation. It did not disappoint. So many good takeaways. Where can the fearless fam follow you find you? Where are you most active on socials?

Speaker 2: 32:26

Okay, and first of all shout out to the fearless fam. I've been following coach AB for quite some time and she is killing it with a capital K. You are killing it, so congratulations to you, coach AB. I just actually love your content. Taking a social media break now, but I'm sure you're still putting stuff out there, the way you coach your athletes. You know the many videos and I would say any athlete who come through your program, they are truly blessed because you could tell you do it straight from the heart. You're not doing it for solely the money or solely just to be an Instagram influencer or whatever. You do that straight from the heart. So any person that come through your program, you know they are getting a truly amazing coach. I'm going to shout you out first, sorry. I mean you're killing it and I love it. You could find me on Instagram. I am mentally tough. On Facebook is I am mentally tough as well, and my website is wwwIamMentallyToughcom.

Speaker 1: 33:25

Yeah, love it. You got me choked up. You got me choked up. I love what I do. I love connecting with other people who are making is incredible, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 33:36

Love connecting with you all as well, and I know I met with another coach who I told him my story and he was like your beginning story, helped you with your second story and helped you with the third story, like the tools that you've learned and built, you know, helped you with your stories.

Speaker 2: 33:54

That's you know. That came after and one story that I don't think I'll be able to share just yet, but you know, when I had my son, who was born May 17th, right and a few hours later my best friend, my everything, my mom, dropped dead out of nowhere. So these instances, these you know events that happened in my life, definitely helped me with where I am right now, how I'm coping and how I'm raising my family. And it's just it's, you know, like I said, adversity, it's not if it's when, and doing the work now, working on your mindset, can help you when you hit those walls or when you know something devastated or any tragedy that happens to your life. So for any of those that's listening and you're on your fence about working on your mindset, please do it. It is a game changer and you would see yourself differently, you'll feel differently and you'll be proud that you you actually invested in working on your mindset.

Speaker 1: 34:53

Thank you. That means a lot that you share this story about your mom and on girl, yeah.

Speaker 2: 35:01

Alright, good الث, coach Amy, coach G. Thank you so much, slowly.