044: Marathon Mindset and Applying Mental Skills Beyond Sports with Carly Musser

Today on the Podcast I got to interview Carley Musser who is a mental performance coach inside Fearless Warriors. Carley went to WVU, where she studied sport and exercise psychology. She then went on to earn her Master's Degree in sport, exercise, and performance psychology from Barry University. She has her own practice, CM Mental Performance, and is located in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

Episode Highlights:

• Marathon mindset
• How to deal with the confidence roller coaster
• How to embrace the seasons of life
• Triggers and Shields

Connect with Carley:

Instagram: @cm_mentalperformance
Fearless Parent Workshop
One on One Coaching Waitlist

More ways to work with Fearless Fastpitch

• Learn about our proven Mental Skills Program, The Fearless Warrior Program
• Book a One on One Session for your Athlete
• Book a Mental Skills Workshop for your Team or Organization

Follow us on Social Media

• Facebook @fearlessfastpitchmentaltraining
• Instagram @fearlessfastpitch
• Twitter @CoachAB_

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Welcome to the fearless warrior podcast, a place for athletes, coaches and parents who know the value of a strong mindset. I'm your host, coach AB, a mental performance coach on a mission, former softball coach, wife and mom of three. Each episode we will dive deep into all things mental performance, mindset tools and how to rewire the brain for success. So if your goal is to gain the mental edge and learn the secrets of mental performance, mindset tools and how to rewire the brain for success, so if your goal is to gain the mental edge and learn the secrets of mental performance, you're in the right place. Let's tune in to today's episode.

Speaker 1: 0:39

Carly Musser is on staff with us as a mental performance coach inside Fearless Warriors. She went to WVU where she studied sport and exercise psychology and then went on to attain her master's in sport, exercise and performance psychology from Berry University. She has her own practice, cm mental performance, and is located in Lancaster, pennsylvania. Aside from sport and performance psychology, she is super passionate about running and fitness. You can usually find her at the beach or hanging with her friends and family. Her faith is important to her as well, and I have been so fortunate to be friends with Carly for almost three years.

Speaker 1: 1:17

If you are a member of our programs, hopefully Carly's name is familiar, and we've also aired her parent workshop right here on the podcast as well. So if you want to go back, we can link that in the show notes as well. But today I'm so excited because we get to have an authentic conversation. You get to listen in on some of Carly and I's amazing phone calls that we've had over the years and she gets to update us on some of the projects she's been working on and the team she gets to work with. So with that I have Carly with me. Live, carly, welcome to the pod.

Speaker 2: 1:51

Oh my gosh, thank you so much. I'm kind of tearing up over here. You're just the sweetest and I'm so grateful. I can't believe it's been three years since we connected and I'm just so grateful to be here. I love our authentic conversations on a regular basis, so it's just kind of cool to do it live and recorded. So thanks for having me.

Speaker 1: 2:14

I think it's going to be so surreal and it's going to happen. We always say this it's going to happen. We have not met in person, so all the FaceTimes, all the phone calls, all the Zooms, it'll just be a natural thing, right? Like hey, what's?

Speaker 2: 2:27

up. Yeah, absolutely. I know it's wild to me that we've never met in person, but it does. It feels like you said. It's just natural and normal and so, yeah, it'll be awesome when we get to give each other a big hug. Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 2:53

So, carly, we kind of want our listeners to. I mean, I know all these things, but can you help our listeners, the fearless fam. Give them your, your update. Where are you at? What are you doing? Obviously, you have your own practice. You're doing coaching for us, but give us a high level view. Where are you at?

Speaker 2: 3:05

Yeah. So it's really crazy to look back. I always talk about reflecting and how important I feel like reflection is. I'm someone that I journal, you know, every. I try to do it every day, honestly, since college. I think that it's a great way to reflect and just gain self-awareness, knowledge. I think that it's a great way to reflect and just gain self-awareness.

Speaker 2: 3:25

You would think that we know all the thoughts that we have every single day, every minute, but we don't. So I would say, you know, next month is going to mark four years since I got my LLC and took the jump, and while this was during COVID again like you mentioned in the beginning, with my faith being so important to me, I just felt like God was telling me to do it right. When the world would say no, god was like, no, like let's go, let's do it. So you know, I got my LLC and for me, you know, a big thing for me was to know, or for others to know, that I didn't want to just work with sports or athletics right. So that's why I kind of made it CM, mental Performance my brother, who is a very successful business, owner of several businesses now. I kind of sat and thought with him and he even helped me design my logo. He's great at that and I was like I want this to be known in my name that I don't just work with athletes. So it's crazy that I'm almost at the four year mark. It's just, you know, all glory to God, but I feel like right now, in the last few years, I started running marathons, so I have an extensive running background and so I just did my fifth one in April and so, like I've mentioned with Amanda, you know, this marathon mindset has really, you know, been on my heart just this term, in the last six months even. And you know, it's not just about running or if you're a marathoner, but it's the idea of, you know, life is a marathon, it's not a sprint. Right, progress doesn't happen overnight, results don't happen overnight. So I think just really being able to shift that into my clientele and working with athletes has been awesome.

Speaker 2: 5:23

I started working with the SWAT team a few months back, so police department and then the SWAT team, which we've really been pushing that, and it's been awesome to be able to, you know, work with a master corporal and then teach the skills that I have, and then, you know, he's like well, how do we incorporate this? So you know, one day my thoughts are rolling and I type up an email and then he puts it in his terms and I'm like, well, how do we incorporate this? So you know, one day my thoughts are rolling and I type up an email and then he puts it in his terms and I'm like this is awesome, right, and if you know me or if you've ever worked with me, breathing is something that I live, preach by, right? So I think that if we can't be present and we can't control our breath, then how are we going to deal with X, y and Z? How are we going to deal with X, y and Z? How are we going to deal with all the other things? So that's been an exciting thing.

Speaker 2: 6:14

I've worked with nurse managers at a local hospital here in Lancaster and just being able to, you know, try and understand I don't personally understand, because I'm not a nurse or a nurse manager, but just try and understand what they go through on a daily basis and just how you know how they talk with family, like one of them is, you know, works with she's the manager of the ICU, right the things that she sees on a daily basis and loss of loved ones. And then you know almost being a therapist to family members of that loved one. It's just, I mean, she's like so super woman. It's just really admirable and so cool to see how mental performance can truthfully make an impact on no matter.

Speaker 2: 6:58

if you're a human being, it can make an impact on your life. So yeah, it's kind of kind of where I'm at, but that speaks to the essence.

Speaker 1: 7:06

This does not surprise me, right? So your practice has evolved over the past four years. It doesn't surprise me because one of the things that you preach and practice like you don't just preach it, you practice it is that we are more than just what we do. Right, like you're a human first, and I've heard you say that it's in your bio, you speak it, you live it, and so what a cool way of, oh, look at who I have gotten to work with. And, um, I had no idea about the nurse managers. You know, you think about some of those situations.

Speaker 1: 7:39

It's when we strike out, and I'm speaking to the softball families that are listening to this. I think it gives you perspective, because here I have parents that are coming to me and saying my daughter's striking out and it feels like it's life or death. They're sitting on the edge of the bleachers wondering oh my gosh, is my daughter going to succeed? Is she going to fail? How's she going to handle failure? And the perspective and the juxtaposition of you're working with adults that have somebody's life on the table or the SWAT team right, like these are life and death situations, and I guess the point that I'm trying to point out is that I think sometimes, when we zoom out in multiple ways, when you're equipping your daughter with these skills, or your son or whoever with these mental performance skills, it is not just for sports.

Speaker 1: 8:36

Yep and I think that's the gravity of what we do that like. It is so much bigger than sports. It is so much bigger than performing better on the field. It's about can you cope when things get hard? How do you focus when you need to be at your best, when somebody's life is in your hands? And maybe your daughters won't grow up to be surgeons and nurses and SWAT team members? But still, even today, like, what are some of the skills that you, as a mental performance coach, I know you talk about breathing? What are some of the skills that you, as a mental performance coach, I know you talk about breathing? What are some of the skills that you're embodying every day?

Speaker 2: 9:11

Yeah. So I think a big thing is just trying to be present. Um, you know, mindfulness is something I've always been so like working. Like in college I was working hard to like thought that I want to get my PhD Right, so I'm like working hard to, you know, get to my next goal.

Speaker 2: 9:28

And then during grad school, it was when, honestly, you know, trying to work with a team, that just wasn't how do I word this just, you know, kind of was like whatever things fell through. And then I started working with a team that was like an hour away and being around, you know, miami traffic was just nuts and he, just the director, he just was a little, you know unorganized and all over the place. And I don't mean that in a rude way, it's just kind of how it was. And I was just so like, oh my gosh, I have to know, I have to know. And then I just kind of was like you know what, like I need to adapt and adjust a little more. I need to, you know, practice mindfulness, and so that's kind of like now, fast forward, today, like when I start to get too far ahead, then I have to remind myself, okay, like be present and, you know, be in the you know moment, and also, I think, same thing with progress. Whenever I start to or comparison right I start to try to remind myself you know? Or, honestly, I look in the mirror and I just did this other week, I forget, like why, and I was like Carly, like you are strong, you are determined, or all the things that are facts, right, that you know. It doesn't mean that those aren't areas that I still need to continue to grow in, but I think you know, practicing believing in yourself, trusting yourself and knowing that you've got this, the way that you trust a teammate or a friend or a parent, I think is key.

Speaker 2: 11:06

So I think you know, some of the biggest things for me is, or are, you know, just just being authentic and trying not to compare myself to anyone else.

Speaker 2: 11:16

I think that this is something that, from a young age, you know, I I've really struggled with. When I look back and I think so many young females do there are so many talented and not to say, you know, even if men are listening right now, not to say that you don't either, but women tend to be more, we're more emotional. You know just how God made us, and so we tend to compare more, where guys are kind of like oh, you can do that, well, I can do that. You know they don't. They might not get in their heads as much when it comes to that. So I think that one of the biggest things that I'm seeing with females, especially middle school through high school, is comparison and I think so much of that. Social media is such a big role and just body image and it just breaks my heart because I went through it and I think so many young females do.

Speaker 1: 12:14

Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 12:15

I think you know this. I love analogies, so one of the analogies that I've been hitting really hard that seems to be resonating with parents and players is this idea that we're on this roller coaster and if your confidence is placed in things that go up and down, then you're going to be on this confidence roller coaster. Your confidence is going to come and go and I have to preface this with your confidence will come and go, but the more that we can level out these big highs and these big lows if your confidence will come and go, but the more that we can level out these big highs and these big lows, if your confidence is placed in things that fluctuate, like your performance, if you're riding the high and you're super confident and you're three for three and you attach your confidence to performing well at the plate or hitting in the game winning you know run then your confidence is going to be really really high, and so if that's true, then the opposite is also going to be true. So you're telling me that when you go over three, then your confidence is going to be really, really low. That's a huge roller coaster up and down, and so I love that you talked about placing you know comparison on other people.

Speaker 1: 13:26

If you're placing your confidence in other people, well, let's talk about body image, right, like there's always going to be somebody skinnier than you, there's always going to be somebody stronger than you, there's always going to be somebody that can pitch faster than you, and so, if you're riding this roller coaster of comparison, too, there's always going to be highs and lows in that, and so I love that you said trust in yourself, because that's how we get off the roller coaster.

Speaker 1: 13:49

Is this is me? Do I trust myself and my abilities? And have I journaled and have I done my mindfulness and have I done my breath work? And if that's the only thing I can control, you're not waiting on somebody else to operate this roller coaster. You're, this is your life, right, like you get to decide, and so, um, I think you're right. So let me ask you this, carly, with the clients that you've worked with, what are some of the tactile like you know, like the skills that, when you get down to the core of it, if you have somebody that's struggling with comparison, what advice do you have for them?

Speaker 2: 14:30

Yeah, good question, I think. I think, in a way, I always tend to well, I think, whenever I'm working with anyone like of course, if it's a team and there's 50 people, you know it takes time to get to know someone. But I think from the get go I'm so big on building trust and rapport and getting to know my person. You know, like getting to know the human being in front of me, my person, you know, like getting to know the human being in front of me. I think a big thing for me is kind of like asking them, you know, like, what's important to you? Do you remember a time when you didn't compare? Do you remember a time you know? And then just kind of getting them to think about again.

Speaker 2: 15:07

This is going to be more challenging at the youth level, right, sometimes, or you know, even sometimes middle school, but especially at their high school getting them to think okay, if you were 90 years old and you are sitting in your rocking chair and you looked back over your life, would you have wanted to live your life or would you have wanted to live your life through the lens of someone else? I think that is so powerful and that's something that I circle back with Um. I think I relate to that so much too, because my grandparents, who I was super close with um, they passed. Nan actually passed away a few years ago, but today's her birthday, so her heavenly birthday, yeah.

Speaker 1: 15:50

So we just pause for a second because I know how important your Nan was to you and like we picked this date randomly of like we need to get on a pod. We need to get on a pod. So let's just call that a little God wink, because happy birthday, Nan. This is awesome. Like you get to glorify her and her legacy, Like how cool is that.

Speaker 2: 16:10

How cool is that? Oh, yeah, I love, and just to throw in there a little net, and one of the things she always said was never let anybody make a fool out of you. So I like, love that, which I think you could tie into so much, just being authentic and being you and being yourself. Um, but, yeah, thanks for shout out to Nan. Um, so what?

Speaker 1: 16:30

yeah, I mean she would say that.

Speaker 2: 16:31

What context would she say that in oh, she would say this in terms of friends. She would say this in terms of, you know, um relationships. Or, you know, if I was going through a breakup, she would say this in honestly, just everything. But I always carried it through with me, you know, just like my pap like so much. He was so wise and full of so much wisdom, you know. And so there are a few things that both of them would say on a regular basis that I've just carried through with me.

Speaker 2: 17:03

But I think we can relate to it so much, especially in today's world, especially as women, right, whether it's women in sports, whether it is women in you know, like becoming CEOs, whether it's women, you know all across the board, right, like remembering your worth and not letting anyone make a fool out of you. And if someone is going to you know that's not inside your control at all, right, like it's, it's inside of your control to believe in yourself and walk away or to turn your cheek, Right. So I think it's really cool to see it from a different perspective years back versus now, and just how I'm able to carry that, carry that through with me. But I think now more than ever, it's a time to really tap into who you are. And I think, too, that if you, if you don't focus on your lane, you never know who you could impact, because I truly believe that God has given us all different gifts and if you're trying to walk in someone else's lane and be like someone else, well guess what? You're going to miss your chance to impact everybody around you.

Speaker 2: 18:10

So I think that is just one of the most honestly like important things in life, because we don't get time back. So for any young female that's listening, you know, picture yourself at 90. And you're old and wrinkly and you're looking back over your life, like what kind of life do you want to live? Do you want to live your legacy or do you want to live someone else's?

Speaker 1: 18:41

That is so good. I'm already thinking about this. So one of the things that came up for me in that is I think this has been a hot topic recently on other podcasts I've been on, and we're just, we're going with this and trusting our gut in this conversation of whoever needs to hear this message. I think sometimes we shrink who we are and so, like you said, everyone has these God-given talents and what makes us us, and I think sometimes our society puts a greater emphasis on people who are more confident, people who are more extroverted, and one of the things that I've started to realize, too, is that I'm very self-aware, that I am the type of person that wants to fix problems and solve problems, and so I'm really aware of I am getting better at it. I'm getting better at being quiet and holding space, and holding space for people's experiences and not immediately trying to solve things right, because, as a mental performance coach, we want to give them the answers, and what I've started to notice is a lot of my clients have the answer, and so I love this beautiful analogy of when you're 90 and you're sitting in your rocker.

Speaker 1: 19:48

One of the other things that we do is I'll say, okay, great the you of today. If we were on a mental performance call, I would say, okay, great the you of today. If you, if we were on a mental performance call, I would say, hey, carly, can you rewind four years ago, before you started your practice? What would you tell that Carly? Right, and like you, have all the answers, hindsight is beautiful. Or even, hey, carly, what would you tell Carly three months ago? Yeah, and they have all this wisdom that only they can live, only they know.

Speaker 2: 20:21

Yeah, it's, I think it's. I love that and that's so great and it's. It's so cool to think. And every year I've tried to write down at the end of the year okay, what did I learn? Year I've tried to write down at the end of the year okay, what did I learn as a professional, as a business owner, as you know, a human in this year? And it's so cool because some of the things that I put up with year one I would not put up with now. Um, respectfully right, you just it's just. You know, and I think with age we, we become more wise and whatnot. But I love that and I think that it is so cool.

Speaker 2: 20:59

I always have this image in my head and, you know, I don't really know if it was like legit or if I just have this image in my head, but there's like this image of me. I'm in like maybe fourth or fifth grade and I look up into the sky and I can literally picture this, amanda, like it's like night out and I look up into the sky and I'm like looking at the stars and I'm like what kind of life do I want to live? Like what? Who do I want to be? Who do I want. What kind of person do I want to marry? What kind of life do I want to live? You know, what do I want it to look like? And I just come back to that a lot.

Speaker 2: 21:38

So when you were talking about four years ago, or you know, I pictured that that car leave, you know, just looking up the sky and thinking like, you know, the sky is my limit, and it's just so cool to see, because almost any time that I've ever settled in life, whether it be just everything I feel like God hasn't allowed me to, which I don't know why, but I'm so grateful.

Speaker 2: 22:08

And it might not even be them, it might be their spouse, that are in you know, a job, that they're so hardworking and their boss is just such a micromanager or a control freak, right, and it's just like wow, like I feel so sad for them that they've, you know, gone through that, and I'm like I don't want to live the day just really listening If you're, you know, if you are someone that you know maybe faith isn't your thing like just just listen. We all have that, that inner voice, you know, and just really listening to that, I think it's really, really going to guide you. But I just never want people to be limited or believe the lies. You know that you're not worthy or not enough, or that you can't do something that you want to do.

Speaker 1: 22:58

Well, even think back and this is where this is taking me back to our friendship is even think back two years ago. One of the things that vividly stands out to me is we would hop on. Was it every other Friday, or were we? Was it every other? I feel like for every Friday. It might've been every Friday and then every other Friday, or were we? Was it every?

Speaker 2: 23:14

other, I feel like for every Friday. It might've been every Friday and then every other Friday I feel maybe.

Speaker 1: 23:19

Yeah, so there was a season of our lives where we were having some really like deep conversations, where both of us were kind of struggling in our practices.

Speaker 1: 23:29

And you know, I think about two years ago, and how far my business has come in two years of the conversation of. Well, more specifically, I think one of the projects you and I have worked on is how do we build out a one-on-one package, and you and I have both taken clients in tandem and trying to build my practice and help other mental performance coaches fill their client list, and so we'd kind of worked on some projects together. But I I'm sitting in my office, but two years ago like this office didn't even exist, like I was pregnant with my third child, we had just purchased the house and life was in tandem, like everything felt rocky. And I think about our friendship and the conversations that we had. A lot of our conversations had nothing to do with business and everything to do with life and faith of like man.

Speaker 1: 24:31

Is there a light at the end of this tunnel? Like you and I have able to be vulnerable and share stories, because I think sometimes people assume I was just on a call the other day with a mental performance coach that I'd connected with. From the outside, looking in friends and your family say oh my gosh, carly. Like look at your practice, and from the outside you're like, oh my gosh, that's so cool. You got to work with the SWAT team and you know, like my semi-pro football team, and people see these and these little blips of highlight reels of our lives and they just assume that we have everything figured out.

Speaker 2: 25:09

Oh, I well, I'm sitting here and I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm smiling because, you know, it's so true, and like I'll run into people from high school that I haven't, you know, seen in years and they're like, oh, like it's so cool, and I, and I am the first to tell them, hey, I really appreciate you, like that's so sweet. But I just want to, I just want you you know, it's not all rainbows and sunshine Like I'm the first cause, I want it to be known that, like you know the real, the realness of it, the rawness of it, and I think that's the one thing with social media, that me being someone that's so old school, um, I really want to be authentic, I really want, you know, I don't want this constant highlight reel, um, reel of things, and I think we never know what someone else is walking through in life, and I think that's why it's always so important to be kind and to be caring. But even you know myself, for example, which I'm and I don't know if we were going to dive into this later, but just while we're on the topic of it, you know, with marathons and everything that I mentioned earlier, you know, and people would be like that's awesome or, you know, connecting with people. Through that I haven't been because, um, I have a stress fracture my femur, you know, and I found that out mid or after my last marathon.

Speaker 2: 26:49

Um, you know, like the second week in May and just the like you were talking about earlier, the light at the end of the tunnel I resonate with that so much because the light at the end of the tunnel, I resonate with that so much because I feel like this week is the first that I really am starting to feel that right, going from being a month non-weight, bearing, um, and then slowly being able to kind of come back to it this week, being on one crutch. Um, I think, you know, it's so easy to feel great and to feel confident when life is going great, but we have to remember to still have that confidence is still inside of us that we're still worthy, no matter how great we are or if we retire and wrap things up, you know. So I think, honestly, I feel terrible, because I don't even remember what question you asked, but I'm just rolling with it. Um, you know, I think that in seasons like this, um, just like you and I, when we would hop on these calls and be in different seasons.

Speaker 2: 27:48

Um, just like when you were talking about you didn't have this office yet and you were pregnant with your third, I had total chills. I'm like, oh my gosh, I remember that, um. But you know we have different seasons in life and you were pregnant with your third, I had total chills. I'm like, oh my gosh, I remember that, um. But you know we have different seasons in life and you know we can either embrace the hard seasons, the seasons that make us more resilient, or we can just choose to say, well, like poor me, and feel sorry for ourselves, right, um?

Speaker 2: 28:14

And I think that, embracing this season, knowing, hey, you know what I'm going to be able to relate to my athletes even more or performers or just other people who have gone through tough things and, like you were talking earlier about perspective one of the biggest things since day one, when I when I bawled my eyes out and found out that I had to go on crutches and everything because if you know me, I'm a go, go, go person, even aside from marathons and I was like you know what? I still have two legs and I happened to see someone in a wheelchair. We were actually at like the beach and my mom, we were. It was like a car show. My dad and my brother love cars and I do too, but after five minutes I'm like all right, that's cool, I've seen it.

Speaker 2: 28:59

Yeah, and I'll never forget this. My mom was wheeling me over to like a sheets or this was in Delaware, so Wawa, and I saw this guy outside and he was, you know, middle-aged and he didn't have two legs. You know he had like little stubs and I'm just like I love him and.

Speaker 2: 29:18

I go in the bathroom, you know, and I just was like man, like, and I come back out. My mom wheels me back out and he's like Hi, I gotta say hi to my like wheelchair friend, like so sweet, so nice. His name was Jerry and I just was like you know, carly, like things could be so much worse right now. And I think we have to meet ourselves where we're at, and it's okay to feel sad, it's okay to think, hey, like this is such a complete 180. And that first week was the hardest, for sure.

Speaker 2: 29:48

But I think always having like you were talking about it earlier always having a different perspective, I think is key, and when we're able to have that perspective, I think we can relate and impact other people so much more. So, again, it's, it's meeting yourself in the middle and saying, hey, you know, like this is how I'm feeling right now. This is, you know, me being real with myself, but like how can I look at the bigger picture? How can I, you know, use this to help other people? Or how can I use this to come back even stronger? Even you know better.

Speaker 2: 30:26

I think it. I think it's just, you know, in you we hear some of these like look at Simone Biles right, or we hear of some of these athletes going through slumps or whatever. You know sport, they're playing and they come back stronger. I think that it's again. It's not even just the whether it's more of like you know, simone was honest and real about it being like more of a mental thing, but whether it's a physical injury or not, there's such a huge mental component that comes with it. Um, so I think, like when we're able again to be real with ourselves but then look at a different perspective, we can come back even stronger.

Speaker 1: 31:07

A hundred percent. But I think even to this myth and I know we wanted to talk about some of these myths today and I'm watching the clock we have to. I want you to get into marathon mindset so we'll come back to that but this myth that once I reach a certain level, I'll be confident Right, or like, once I reach a certain level, I won't struggle with that anymore because my performance will be amazing, I will have made it. And so a big goal for a lot of my girls is get recruited. Get recruited, play D1, play D2, play D3, like, get get to where I want to go, and then it's all sunshines and rainbows. And then they get to their freshman year and they are rocked Right, and so the more that I can have people like Jordi Ball you know, even before she tore her ACL she was really vulnerable, and we have this podcast as well where she talks about her time at Oklahoma. Here they are winning naughty champs and they're the best in the team and she's the number like she's the ace pitcher in the entire country. And for her to be vulnerable and say, look, I struggled, like not just mental performance struggled but mental health struggled. And Simone Biles saying, look, I'm one of the best in the world, if not the best in the world, and I have a mental block right now. If I go up in the air, I'm so disoriented I don't know if I'm going to land on my feet. She's arguably the best in the world, and so the more that we can have these people who are on those high pedestals say me too. I struggle with this, right. I think it's so eyeopening for our youth, and you and I have said this.

Speaker 1: 32:45

Right, like, the more that we can broadcast, it can be both. You can have. You know your own doubts. Everybody has negative voices, everybody has perfectionism, everybody has comparison. We actually can't get rid of that. That's a myth. Right Like, you never hire a mental performance coach to get rid of those things. Our job is to help you move through those things and even after your time with us is done, what we're doing is we're equipping you to move through those without needing us, right? So it's this idea of again, like life, school life skills, performance skills, marathon mindset. I know we wanted to come back to that. So what? What does marathon mindset mean to you? Like? What does that? Let's just dive into that.

Speaker 2: 33:35

Yeah, absolutely. I just want to highlight real quick some of the things you said because I think they're so important. But, just like what you said, you know, and there's no direct correlation between confidence and performance, right, like sometimes we might be, or, you know, you look at some people with sick when they have so much success, sometimes, like they actually become less confident because they start to compare themselves more or to their previous performances, right, so, um, the goal to mental skills is self-awareness, right? So, like you said, it's not getting getting rid of things. Um, so I just thought that was so good what you said. So I just want to highlight on that marathon mindset to me. Um, man, I, you know running was always the thing that flared my head when I heard God the loudest. Like it's for most people they hate running, but for me it's so therapeutic, Like it is just I feel most my best self, most beautiful self, when I'm running. I think Shailene Flanagan, I love her and I think she kind of said something similar to, and I feel that 100%. But I think, marathon mindset I actually was walking through one of the the teams that I work with at a university and walking through and I have no idea what coach who wrote it whatever on a whiteboard. I saw marathon mindset. I'm like, wow, like other people like talk about this too, like cool, and I was like, wow, like I need to embrace, embrace this more, right. Um, so I feel like a big part of my brand is becoming marathon mindset. Right, because again, it's the.

Speaker 2: 35:13

When I look at marathons, now that I've done five right, and every single time, the last, the last, like mile, like mile 25, it's like like my best time, my worst time, it's like, oh my gosh, like I just want to be done Right and it's that. It's that balance of it's knowing, okay, I could quit. I always think to myself, think to myself all right, carly, you could stop and you could quit, like that's, you can do that. But like, would you for yourself, for yourself, would you want to look back and do that if there's a legitimate or injury or something like that, like I highly recommend you know, like don't you know, but it's been no, like I want to keep going. But all five times, no matter how much I love this, no matter how much it like pumps me up, that last mile or mile. Point two is always the hardest in my opinion and you've come this far and you're almost there. But how many of us Amanda, right, I'm going to get real deep right now how many of us come this far in life or in sport or in our career, and then they say, oh, I'm not good enough, and they quit? Or man, like I, I'm never going to make it to the next level and they quit, right.

Speaker 2: 36:33

So I think, like there's so many ways that I can incorporate marathon mindset in, in like our mental game and life in analogies. But I think the biggest thing is is that I love marathon so much because a only you know, like less than 1% of the population has done one and two. They're so hard and it like each marathon I take away something new with me, something new that I learned about myself and I'm able to apply it and I feel like when I'm running a marathon, it's the biggest way to practice what I preach for me. So I think we all like, if you've never run a marathon in your lifetime and you won never run a marathon in your lifetime, and you won't run a marathon in your lifetime, that is 100% Okay. It's not everybody's thing, but it's finding whatever it is in your life that is going to challenge you, that is going to encourage you to practice what you preach the most, right. So I just think that there's so much that you know it's it's a step by step process. You can't sprint a marathon, you know, like it's just not possible unless you're from Kenya, because some of these people are just unreal.

Speaker 2: 37:50

But so I think, just incorporating that in all aspects of life, with my practice, when I'm, when I'm not where I want to be or I start to compare myself, or perfectionism creeps in, it's having that marathon mindset. Okay, this is the. We're playing this for the long game, right, like we're playing this for the long game, like we need to look at the marathon. Um, you know, when I start to, um, you know like, even just with my injury and wanting to be back, I've just really, each week, I've been trying to be patient and not even think about like coming back yet, but just really being like where I'm at and looking at it for the marathon. You know like I want to do this long term. So there's so many ways that I feel like I relate to this so much. So many ways that I feel like I relate to this so much, but just even more with teams and clients. You know it's the like.

Speaker 2: 38:41

I did a video the other week on um in Myrtle beach, earlier in March, when both my quads cramped halfway. So, if you're not familiar, a full marathon is 26.2, but a half is 13.1. So halfway on my, both my quads just cramped, like just completely cramped, and I was like, all right, I can push through this Like I'm not injured, it's just it was super humid, I probably needed more salt and I was like I can do this, but it's not going to be at the time that I would like it to be. And sure enough, you know, I kept pushing through and I finished it and for me that was. I earned a mental PR that day for myself because I chose not to give up.

Speaker 2: 39:25

I took it, you know, mile by mile, and I think that's what we have to do in life. Sometimes we, you know, we're looking 50 years down the road, which is important to do and prepare. Or if you're looking at retirement, but I think that we have to remember that we're playing for years down the road, which is important to do and prepare. Or if you're looking at retirement, but I think that we have to remember that we're playing for the long game. Life is, we pray and hope, a long game right? So I think the more that we can take each day, mile by mile and one mile at a time, and being the mile that we're at, I think it can make a huge difference.

Speaker 1: 39:55

Totally. And now that you know you've done this enough times, you know, hey, mile 25, I'm going to have to pull out my self-talk. I'm going to have to pull out my mindfulness. I'm going to have to pull out my, my playlist. I'm going to switch my playlist, like you have all of those things now, because you've had that experience and so so many beautiful poignant allegories to life, to sports, mile by mile, like so many takeaways, so I thought it would be fun to share. There's also some funny stories. Can you talk to us about mile six? What happens at mile six?

Speaker 2: 40:37

mile six. So, um, are you talking about the one that we were talking about? And so I, well, during my last one. So, for those of you that wonder are like having to go to the bathroom. Is that really a thing? Oh yeah, we call it runner's trot. So, um, during my last race, I had to go. I didn't have to go to the bathroom before it started, right, and I was like, oh, like, I'll be good, get there. The line is so long, guess what have to go to the bathroom. Well, we're about to start. So I, you know.

Speaker 2: 41:09

So, mile six, I was like, all right, I'm just going to, like you know, stop early on, and you know, like go.

Speaker 2: 41:22

So then, like I feel better, because years before I didn't have such a good experience and I had to stop and walk because I, like the port-a-potty, felt so near, but it was so far, and like having to stop and walk and that even is a mental game in itself, right Like having to go to the bathroom, or like just our basic needs as a human being, like that can I feel like mess with you, so much your physical it's, it's such a physical thing that like being prepared for those poopy poopy moments, or like what's my body doing, or like different miles, but you're, you know that now, right, Like this was your most recent one right, my most recent one I prepared to stop, yes, yes, yeah, and my most recent one was just all the things around because I, you know, came to find out, like a month later I had a stress fracture in my femur and I definitely had that during, because the day before I, you know, was having quad issues and I totally thought it was muscular and came to find out from an MRI.

Speaker 2: 42:20

You know that it wasn't muscular, but I think you know it was just knowing that, like you, you have a plan, like beforehand, you know, like always having a plan, and I think that the more you can plan ahead of time, right, like have these things in your back pocket, it's kind of like coping imagery, right, like I remember Michael Phelps always talked about before he would see himself from. You know he would see himself in the pool, then he would see himself from. You know he would see himself in the pool, then he would see himself, you know, from the sidelines and like if something happened with his bathing suit or his goggles, you know, seeing himself from all these different perspectives. And for some athletes I found that sometimes it like might mess with them, but for a lot of them it actually does help to like relieve, you know, performance anxiety. So that's kind of what I do too.

Speaker 2: 43:14

I tend to kind of like think in my, in my head, beforehand, you know, like okay, if I have to go to the bathroom beforehand, you know, because there have been races where I didn't have to stop and then there have been races where I did, and so it's kind of just knowing ahead of time, like, just like with some games you're going to be on point, things are going to go smoothly, and other games they won't.

Speaker 2: 43:38

It's a similar concept with runners and having to use the bathroom.

Speaker 2: 43:40

So I think, yeah, I think, if you can just like, even too with my gels and you know these like salt tablets that I take, I'm so crazy about when I take them, right and just the timing of it, so I think, just like with anything else, the more you can prepare ahead of time and honestly planning to fit like things are just not going to go like some of my my best time for my third marathon, that was my best time and my worst training today. So perfect example, right, sometimes, like, things are going to go great in practice and they might not always go well in, you know, like a game situation and vice versa. But I think it's not letting yourself have a self-fulfilling prophecy, right? Not saying, oh, because this happened, x, y and Z is going to happen. It's just planning, preparing the best that you can, and then just like having a completely fresh mindset the day of for your thing, just like because last time you had to stop and go to the bathroom, you might not have to this next time.

Speaker 1: 44:47

Yeah, I think it's the, it's the reality of it, right, and I think one of the things that we do with our warriors, it is um we just did it, it was um for our grounding. Uh, skill number eight is grounding, which is staying grounded in the present moment, and one of the activities we do is triggers and shields, and so I have them really like lists, like what are your triggers? And I think sometimes we think, oh well, you have all your mental skills, you're going to be confident. And it's like sometimes the littlest things trigger us, like a bad umpire or what the girls always giggle when I say this.

Speaker 1: 45:23

But I hated when the other team's pitchers drag softball people will know what I mean by this.

Speaker 1: 45:31

On the pitcher's mound, when the other person's drag was different from my drag, there was this big hole on the pitcher's mound, and so something as simple as having a plan of my teammates knew between every inning, when we met for our huddle, everyone was just going to shuffle dirt in, and that's what AB needed to be confident.

Speaker 1: 45:49

And so it's like this marrying of physical preparation, mental preparation, having your shields, you know, like pulling up a shield of like shink, like not today, not going to let this affect me mentally. You can have those shields, quote unquote prepared of like my gel packs, my salt tabs when I'm going to go to the bathroom, and I think there's a. There's beautiful differences between you know it's. It's kind of superstitious we can lean towards superstition but if it doesn't go exactly according to plan, it's more of like hey, I've prepared for this, it doesn't have to go exactly like this. Like you said, sometimes some of your races you don't have to go to the bathroom and other times it's like I got to go now, really Like yes, that's the reality of it, yeah, and if some runners are listening, you'll 100% like no, because it's just, it's the it's.

Speaker 2: 46:40

And one of the guys that I connected with at the last race. I met these two guys and, um, you know, he's probably in his 40s or 50s and then the other one's probably actually around the same age, and so I was running with them and we got to talking about it and I told him about my plan and they were like oh, yeah, and it's like this is what runners you know talk about. And, um, I said how you know some of them, like I cramped some of them. I felt great.

Speaker 2: 47:07

I said there's so much that you learn about your body and, of course, your mentality throughout, but it was like it's a science and that really resonated with me because, just like mental performance is a science, like we're constantly trying different things and you think about you know some of the biggest, like the first car, right? Or the first you know whoever invented toilet paper, whoever invented all these things that we now use, don't even think about, right. Like different people tried these things and it didn't happen overnight, right? It's again that marathon mindset like continuing is the people that were brave enough to take risks and try different things and trial and error. So I think it's it relates to that too, but I love that. Triggers and shield, I love that.

Speaker 1: 47:55

I think I actually got that from a CBT workbook that I had purchased for mental health, but yeah, it's awesome and it kind of stuck. The girls love it. So, carly, this has been amazing and it just felt like everyone's gotten an inside look of where conversations go and we've weaved and ducked and dodged through our conversation today. But I mean we hit all the topics. That has felt like everyone's gotten an inside look of where conversations go and we've weaved and ducked and dodged through our conversation today. But I mean we hit all the topics that you and I had talked about wanting to kind of hit today. But, um, where can we follow you? We can tag your. Are you most active on Instagram?

Speaker 2: 48:27

Yes, thank you for asking. So Facebook, instagram, um, I feel like I've had like parents or you know people reach out the most either on my Instagram page or Facebook page. I'm also on LinkedIn every now and then you know someone reach out on their Twitter. Honestly, I don't really understand these young girls are probably gonna be laughing at me but I don't really understand threads. But I have it and post on there Because I'm like, if I can just put in the reps, all of us, the me, but I don't really understand threads, but I have it and post on there because I'm like, if I can just put in the reps all across the board, I don't really scroll on it or, and, if you know me, I tend to be a, a post and ghost.

Speaker 2: 49:04

I don't stay on social media. So if you do reach out to me and I don't get back to you in five minutes or something like, I'll get back to you, it's just, um, but yeah, I don't really know threads, the in five minutes or something like, I'll get back to you, it's just. But yeah, I don't really know Threads is the most recent thing, I guess, and it's still LinkedIn, but I want all of those. So feel free to reach out, yeah.

Speaker 1: 49:24

And you and I have talked about this. We're going to be opening up one-on-one slots. So many of you guys have known that I am so busy no-transcript wait list for that, so I can link that below as well. Um, and then we'll go from there. So if we have we have too many people reach out, carly's going to be really busy, but um, we'll just we'll start with that and see who responds.

Speaker 2: 50:20

And if you've been wanting one-on-one coaching. Carly is amazing and we wouldn't have her on staff if that wasn't the case.

Speaker 1: 50:22

So Thank you Right back at you. You're amazing. Well happy Friday at the time that we're recording this. It's. It's going to be a great one when we air it. I don't know when exactly, but if you're listening to this and you liked this, we just always ask that you know reach out to us if you have questions, and thanks for hanging out with us for the past hour long. We've been on 45 minutes.

Speaker 2: 50:44

Awesome. Thank you so much for having me. This has been awesome. Always grateful for our founders. Thanks, carly.