The Fearless Warrior Podcast

069: Mindset Myths Busted: Why Mantras Don't work

• Amanda Schaefer

Share episode

This episode is the next installment of our "Mindset Myths Busted" series. Today I bust the myth that mantras alone are effective tools for building confidence. I discuss how superficial affirmations often fall short and teach you what to say instead.

Episode Highlights:
• Exploring the concept and limitations of mantras
• The 'dirty jersey' analogy to illustrate deep-seated issues
• Transitioning to more actionable belief statements
• Emphasizing actions over mere words for true confidence


If you want to learn more about belief shifting, check out Episode 13: How to Identify and Overcome Limiting Beliefs

Ready to learn the techniques that will actually increase your softball athlete's CONFIDENCE?


More ways to work with Fearless Fastpitch

Follow us on Social Media

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the fearless warrior podcast, a place for athletes, coaches and parents who know the value of a strong mindset. I'm your host, coach AB, a mental performance coach on a mission, former softball coach, wife and mom of three. Each episode, we will dive deep into all things mental performance, mindset tools and how to rewire the brain for success. So if your goal is to gain the mental edge and learn the secrets of mental performance, mindset tools and how to rewire the brain for success, so if your goal is to gain the mental edge and learn the secrets of mental performance, you're in the right place. Let's tune in to today's episode. Welcome back to Mindset Myths Busted this week.

Speaker 1:

The myth is why mantras don't work and what to say instead. This topic I'm really passionate about, because there's a lot of things out there that may seem helpful, or things that we've heard for decades, that others will use as mental skills that we think are effective. But if they remain surface level or we're not actually teaching the deeper rooted meaning behind why we teach mantras, then they become a slippery slope of toxic positivity, which we'll also do another episode on. So in order to explain this, I wanted to define what a mantra is and where it came from. So it's originally from Hinduism and Buddhism and it was a word or sound repeated to aid concentration or in meditation. So a lot of the times inside of these practices that are ancient and very full of wisdom right, I'm not knocking mantras Mantras have their place. But then when they get placed into our modern world, out of the context of quietly meditating and focusing, and we just try to slap these mantras into the sports world or the performance psychology world, the biggest mistake that I see is that these coaches see mantras as a way to create these new identities without doing the deeper work. So here's an example A lot of the times on social media I'll see these Instagram influencers or these moms and dads who put their daughters and sons in front of mirrors and they say these daily affirmations I am strong, I am smart, I am beautiful, I am a problem solver and, yes, these are great, but if we start using these as a again, I keep saying surface level, if we don't teach our children what those things mean and how they are actually attached to our identity. That's what I wanted to talk about today.

Speaker 1:

So just because something is repeated doesn't automatically mean it's believable, especially with your teenager or your athlete who, if you're telling her you're a good hitter, you're a good pitcher, but everything in their world gives them the evidence that they're not good enough or they're not progressing fast enough or they have really big goals, that is going to start to contradict these mantras. So if you have a coach that tells you you know, use these mantras, repeat them, eventually you'll believe them. Or a teammate this is the perfect example that athletes will get immediately. Let's say you just struck out and a teammate comes up to you and says you're good, you're good. What does that make you feel? Probably a little bit irritated. You're probably going to roll your eyes at your teammate. And I'm guessing, if you are a parent and you've tried telling your athlete this, they're going to roll their eyes at you as well, because they just struck out, they have every evidence or reason to believe that in that very moment they are not a good hitter.

Speaker 1:

And so the analogy I like to use and if you've listened to our other podcasts or you've heard me be a guest speaker on other podcasts, I see this analogy all the time. Your daughter goes to play a softball game and her Jersey is sweaty, it's dirty, it's stinky. That is, her negative thoughts. And if we take this Jersey and we say, okay, we're just going to spray it with Febreze, we're just going to put some perfume on it, we're going to, you know, make, make this Jersey smell better Deep down, we know that that jersey is still dirty. Well, what do we really do with that jersey? We're going to put that jersey in the washer. We're going to wash it. We're going to deep clean it. We're going to go deeper than just surface level and we're actually going to change how that jersey smells from the inside, not just by putting something on top of it.

Speaker 1:

And so the analogy is when you tell your athlete or your daughter or your son, you are good, you're amazing, you're talented, you can do this. If it's not coming from them, they're going to have a hard time believing it. And again, I'm not saying that you can't do those things as a parent, but again these things are surface level. They have to deeply believe, address those negative thoughts, those dirty things, the dirt, the sweat, everything that in our brain feels like we need to deep clean this, we need to go a little bit deeper. So going back to those mantras is if we tell our athlete, we just give our athlete motivational quotes or we just tell them you got to believe in yourself. It's only surface level. So what do we do instead?

Speaker 1:

Here's how I would recommend doing a belief shifting or a confidence conditioning statement instead. So a perfect example. Instead of saying I'm a good hitter and it's probably going to feel fake. It's going to feel untrue and again there's no evidence to support that. But is a belief with. That is in your mentality I crush the inside pitch, or she gives me a high pitch, I'm taking it yard. Whatever those things are, is it a specific location of a pitch that your athlete is really, really good at? What is a skill that they can own? That is part of that identity.

Speaker 1:

And so when we start to address the beliefs about a person, they're rooted in actions more than just who they want to be. So when we start to take more aligned actions, if a hitter is really good at crushing the inside pitch or they want to get better about hitting the outside pitch, they're going to start to build those actions and behaviors around that new belief, not just who they are. And so, again, this identity level is rooted in the behaviors that you will take, not just who you are. So if your daughter wants to become a better hitter this year, great, you're going to have a conversation and you're going to say, okay, instead of just telling yourself that you're going to be a good hitter, what are those behaviors that a good hitter would take? And then we're going to be a good hitter, what are those behaviors that a good hitter would take? And then we're going to help and support you to do those things in their thought process, in their physical process, in their goals and their self-talk.

Speaker 1:

And so, going into the next part of this, a confidence conditioning statement is a way to develop the confidence by the statements and beliefs that we're telling ourselves through the strengths of an athlete, the goals of an athlete, how she appears with her teammates, with her coaches, and so here are some tips. I also talk about confidence conditioning statements in confidence camp that we just finished. So, again, there are ways to build these. But to get started, here are a few categories. What are your athletes' strengths, their strengths as a person, not just as an athlete? What are their goals If they want to be a better hitter, a better pitcher? How is that identity, that confidence conditioning statement, beyond just a mantra, aligned with their goals.

Speaker 1:

Consider how they treat others. So, are they a good teammate? Are they on a good team? Are they on a competitive team?

Speaker 1:

One of the things that comes up all the time in my one-on-one client calls is this fear of letting other people down. And this is a great one, because they're worried that they're not working hard enough. And the only real way that they're going to let their teammates down is if they stop trying. And so I asked them. I said are you the type of person that's going to stop trying? Well, no. Are you the type of person that's going to skip a rep? No, are you not going to put in the work and you're going to be lazy? Well, no, coach. And so again, going back to that identity level, how do you treat other teammates? How do you treat yourself? How do you show up as that identity? You're not lazy, you're not going to let your team down. So that's a really big one.

Speaker 1:

And then consider how you talk to yourself. So think about your self-talk in a game. Think about your self-talk when you wake up, think about your self-talk when you make a mistake. And again these mantras when we start to build them deeper. If you have a negative thought, can you shift that and reframe it? It doesn't always have to be positive, but again we're catching those again and shifting those beliefs instead of just slapping on I am strong, I am a good hitter.

Speaker 1:

And then, lastly, consider what you want to be and feel, and so the feelings that occur when you're living in this identity. So, for example, going back to this idea of a good hitter If I am a good hitter, how am I going to feel at the plate? I'm going to be confident, I'm going to be excited. I love my sport, bring it on. You're facing this pitcher, and then we start to feel those feelings. Now are we going to feel nervous sometimes? Yes. Are we going to feel frustrated? Yes, but if I was a good hitter, I'm going to feel all of those, but I'm not going to let those feelings start to change or persuade how I show up. I still know that I'm a good hitter. And when I'm hitting, well, what am I feeling? So these are just great ways to start to retrain the subconscious mind with more than just a mantra.

Speaker 1:

And again, the key here is that it's not a mantra, is a noun, right? So I'm looking at the definition again it's a word or sound, repeated Mantra is a noun, and my goal for you is that take action and start to shift those beliefs. So we start to shift those beliefs with confidence conditioning statements. They're more action based. We're training the subconscious mind to align with that identity and we're speaking as if we're building this new identity. So for me, I've been working out more, I'm gonna go to the gym, I'm gonna get my workout in. I'm not gonna negotiate with myself. I am strong, I am getting stronger. What would a strong person do? How would I feel in the gym? And when I can start to build that belief and build that identity with myself, that's when things get really, really good. So if you want to learn more about belief shifting, we'll link another episode. We have an episode that we recorded on how to shift beliefs that will go deeper into this as well. So mindset myths busted why mantras don't work and what to say instead.

People on this episode

Contributor

Amanda Schaefer

Host