Sarai Speer, Creator Of The Balanced Stylist Society, Shares Her Road Out Of Addiction And The Journey To Fulfillment And Better Mental Health

In this episode of The VIP Suite, Matthew Landis interviews acclaimed hair educator and mental health advocate Sarai Speer.  Sarai shares her inspiring story of overcoming addiction and homelessness to build a successful career in hair and the creation of The Balanced Stylist Society. She discusses hitting rock bottom at age 31 before getting sober and committing to personal and professional growth.

Sarai talks about the impact her work behind the chair had on her mental health as she struggled with anxiety, overwork, and an eating disorder. She explains how she burned out from working 100 hours a week before seeking treatment. Sarai also talks about the importance of self-care and creating balance to avoid burnout for hairdressers.

Sarai also shares what she's doing now to support the mental wellness of beauty professionals. This includes her thriving online community, the Balanced Stylist Society,  and upcoming mental health workshops. Sarai emphasizes the need for hairdressers to prioritize their mental health and implement boundaries to sustain themselves in this demanding industry.

Transcript

Matthew Landis: 0:00

Welcome to the VIP suite. The podcast exclusively designed for independent beauty, health and wellness professionals. Brought to you by image studios the luxury leader in the Salon Suite industry. I'm your host industry expert and certified business coach Matthew Landis. Each episode will bring you insightful interviews with solo entrepreneurs who forge their own path to greatness. From sharing inspiring stories of triumph to practical tips and strategies for growing your client base and building your brand. This is the place to thrive and take your business to the next level. Well welcome to the VIP suite Joining me today is survived spear she is an acclaimed international independent educator and stands as a beacon of inspiration in the hairstyling world renowned not only for his striking color corrections but also for her empowering approach towards mental health. Her journey marked by resilience and determination has led her to become an influential figure in the beauty industry featured in esteemed publications like Cosmo Sephora, the today's show allure and modern salon survives candid sharing of her personal battles with addiction experiencing homelessness and her rise to running a successful seven figure business resonates deeply with many offering hope and motivation. Beyond her technical expertise and hairstyling surveys true impact lies in her ability to connect and uplift through her teachings both online and in person founder of the balanced stylist society, a thriving community of over 1200 members. Sariah uses her platform to intertwine hair education with mental health coaching this unique blend has empowered 1000s of hair stylists guiding them towards personal and professional growth and helping them emerge as the best versions of themselves. Welcome.

Sarai Speer: 1:41

Oh, oh, that was such an A welcoming entrance. I wonder who wrote that? It was me guys.

Matthew Landis: 1:50

It is absolutely fantastic to be able to have this conversation with you. I cannot believe I have not had the pleasure until now. Because you are a powerhouse. Well, thank you. You have over 180,000 followers on Instagram, you have 1200 members of your balance stylists society, you teach you teach color you coach and you work behind the chair. Yeah. How does that work?

Sarai Speer: 2:16

Oh, very carefully. It is. It's a balancing act. It truly is. You know, I've been doing hair for 20 years, I feel like I'm just now hitting my stride. 20 years in, I feel like I'm just getting comfortable. I am able to balance all of these things to juggle all of these things. So they took me a while to get here. But you know, I'm grateful that I have an incredible platform to share. Not only you know, hair education, because techniques are incredibly important. But we hairstylist are so much more than hairstylist what we do is so much more than hair. Hair is the vehicle we're in the people business, we are in the connection business. And I believe we are one of like five licensed professions that can actually touch people. And so we are making an impact on such a big scale. So I I'm just so grateful to be here, I have no idea what we're going to dive into. I love coming into podcasts where I have no idea because they usually end up being so incredible. We get to share stories share information, so I'm ready for wherever this is gonna head friend. So I have a few questions. But I have to be honest with you. I have no idea where this is gonna go either, but I am looking forward to it. You know, your story is so inspiring. I wonder if you could share it. You've been in the industry for 20 years. So there's a lot to tell, why don't you give us a little bit of of your background? Sure. I grew up in a small town in the country in the middle of Missouri. You know, we were expected to go to college and you know, get married and have the babies and do all that shit. And you know, I got through high school, I went into college, it wasn't what I thought it was going to be. So I think I switched majors like seven freaking times. I couldn't figure out what the hell I wanted to be when I grew up. I was 24 when I finally decided to go to hair school. And I remember having this conversation with my husband at the time. And I was like, Okay, I feel like there's two options for me in life right now. Either pair school or real estate. And now mind you, I'm six foot tall. I'm covered in tattoos. I have neck tattoos. I didn't have any of those. When I was thinking about real estate. He really encouraged me to go to real estate and I was like, No man, I really like doing fun shit with my hair. I've always done fun stuff. So I think I'm gonna give it a try in hair school. So I went to hair school and I remember walking in the first day and like I looked around, and all these people are dressed so cool. They have the coolest hair. And I was like oh my god, it's my people. I went to Beauty School at 24 I didn't realize at the time I was actually an alcoholic so I started looking at the age of 19, and I thought I was a partier. And you know, I step fully into that hairstylist life of let's have fun. Let's have crazy hair. Let's be loud. Let's go out drinking all the time. And so in beauty school my drinking went from, I would say binge drinking to pretty much almost all the damn time I graduated from Beauty School. And I started at this lovely salon called Lady lock, and I've actually got it tattooed on my knuckles, the owner and I got along really well. It was like this tattoo ask shop and that's when I started getting heavily tattooed about six months into being at that salon, the owner had a drug problem, she ended up going through this nasty divorce that just ripped her apart one of the girls there and I became really close friends. And we kind of I will say we kind of took the salon from her. We basically gave her an ultimatum, like got out or we're leaving, we ended up taking the salon over we bought her out. So at 25 years old, I have no business background. I've just graduated from cosmetology school, don't 25 I had the ego of a 25 year old I was like I can do this. I got this. Fast forward to it was a big deal. My business partner and I were very, very different. And she was she loves to party, but she partied on a level that I wasn't there yet. And so for a couple of years for like two years, I did the books, I did the marketing, Facebook was just coming around this was like I don't know 2006 2007 Something like that. So I was doing social media I was doing all the day to day bullshit, you know that you don't get thanks for Meanwhile, my business partners out there having fun and living it up and partying. And so this created a lot of animosity for us. So it 27 years old. I'll never forget this day we were out. We're getting ready to go out, you know, for a lovely weekend of drinking and shenanigans. And my business partner pulled out some cocaine, and I had never I'd never been around it. And I thought if she can do all of these things, and still do this, like I want this, I want to be part of this. I want to be part of the cool kids club, right. So 27 years old, I tried drugs for the very first time. Now. From the age of 27 to 30. I managed to get kicked out of my salon, my business partner bought me out, I managed to lose my clientele. I had my car repossessed because I stopped making payments. And eventually I got evicted. I had gone from being a hairstylist with a drinking problem to a hairstylist who was a full blown junkie. And coke led me to meth. And meth led me to being homeless. And it was three years of hell that I never thought I would get out of so 31 I actually met my now husband. And when we met we met through a friend and I was like, Oh, hey, you're a drug dealer. Cool, because I like drugs. So let's hang out. Well, it turned out he and I became very close with became very good friends. You actually rescued me from a really terrible situation where I messed up really bad. We ended up living together like for like two weeks. And then we started dating. And then a couple months later, he asked me to marry him. So I'm 31 years old, this is my gonna be my third marriage. And I'm like, What the fuck am I doing with my life? Like, this is a must. This is not where he pictured myself at 31. So I told him, I said, Listen, we can get married. Yes, absolutely. I'd love to marry you. But I think that we gotta get our shit together. So I said, you have to get out of the game. I don't want to do this anymore. I can't do this. And he was like, Well, if I get out of the game, you're gonna have to get off this shit. And I was like, Cool. That's what I need. Spoiler alert. I did not I did not hold up my end of the bargain. Now I did have a place to stay. We got married. I work started working at another salon. But from 31 to 35. I did drugs behind his back. I wasn't exactly a junkie. But I was so far from sober and my drinking got exponentially worse. I was so full of shame and guilt, and self hatred from years and decades of my childhood and all of these things that I was not ready to face. I wasn't. And so I would escape. I was drinking every day and I was drinking every day at work. And I would wake up every morning and I would promise myself not today sir. I like you're not going to drink today. By 830. Every morning I was at the liquor store. They had my order they knew it. I would go to work. I would continue to drink all day and this. This went on for four years until March 3 2016. The salon that I was working on at the time was and the irony is not lost on me. It was called rehab here okay. The owner texts me on a Saturday because Friday I got blackout drunk at work. I said some things to my assistant that made her quit on the spot. And apparently, my behavior was so erratic, my co workers were texting the owner. So I wake up with this feeling of dread, which I was very used to, on a Saturday. And my theory up until that point was if I didn't remember it, it didn't happen. And so that's not a great way to live, by the way. So Saturday morning, I get this text when it's from the owner, and she said, I need to meet with you Monday morning. 9am at the salon. And in the meantime, I need you to think about what your career means to you what this salon family means to you. And I'll see you Monday morning. Until this point, I'd never considered telling the truth to anybody was trying to hide I was compartmentalizing all these parts of myself. And I was masking this incredible self hatred with all of these addictions. So Monday morning, I'm driving and I'm like, What the fuck am I gonna say? I don't know. I've run out of excuses. I've used every excuse in the book with this woman. So I walk in Monday morning, and I barely get through the door and she looks me dead in my soul. And she said, What the fuck is going on with you, sir, I had a moment where I just was so sick of running and I was so sick of lying. And I wanted something different. I didn't think I deserved something different, but I wanted something different. And there was this. It's the tiniest voice I've ever heard. It's like a little Jiminy Cricket. And it said, Tell the truth. And so I looked her in her eyes. And I said, I think I have a drinking problem. And I can't stop on my own. And I thought here we go again. She's gonna throw shit at me. She's gonna tell me to get out because this has happened salon after salon, I thought for sure I'm gonna end up on the fucking streets again. Lather, rinse, repeat, right? She hugged me and said, Listen, let's get you some help. And I have never in my entire life experienced a moment like that just pure love someone coming from a space of genuine kindness and compassion and concern and empathy. That day, March 6 2016 was a new beginning for me. I decided to go to AAA meetings. I actually told my husband who didn't know the whole truth because again, as addicts we hide things, we're incredible fucking liars. When we want to be. I shared my location with my boss and my husband so they could see where I was going at all times. I was accountable. I submitted to random breathalyzers at home and at work, because I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired that I didn't know how to get where I wanted to go. But I knew that I had been where I was, and that was not it. Fast forward. A couple months, I make friends with online people in these hair groups, because I've decided I'm going to do something completely different with my life, right. And in order to do something completely different, I have to make myself uncomfortable. I hadn't taken a single continuing education class since I graduated in frickin 2004 And I'm still doing the horizontal highlight up the sides and a freakin Mohawk. You're getting toned with oh nine V and who gives a shit if it's purple. Okay, that's the kind of hair I was doing. So I decided that I would start taking hair classes. And I met this gentleman by the name of Jason McDonald. He was part of this group called The Goonies and he said, Hey, we are teaching this two day workshop Atlanta, you have to come and I was like, I would love to, but I don't have the money. And he was like, you'll it'll come it'll come to you. So I actually had to ask my in laws at 35 years old, if I could borrow $500 for them. So I could pay for the ticket. I flew spirit fucking airlines, I slept in a shitty ass roach motel because I knew I needed to be there. And I remember sitting in like the very front row, and I'm just I'm in awe of these, these educators creating these beautiful creations and you've got a roomful of 100 people who are there to learn and be inspired and that energy there. And I remember at one point in the retreat, I looked around, like my head was on a swivel, and everyone is taking notes, and they're smiling, and they're recording. And this that Jiminy Cricket voice inside of me said, This is what you're supposed to do. And I was like, Why did you do it? No, no, no. So I tried to like push it down and try to push it down. But I couldn't my soul was on fire when I got back. And so I was like, Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna lean into this, I'm gonna lean into this. And so opportunities started opening up. I made connections at the retreat. And so hey, come down and work this show for this brand. And I said, Yes, I said yes to everything at that point, because I was like, dude, screw it. This is an incredible opportunity. I want to do this shit and, and when I got sober, I said I was gonna do things that I was afraid of. And one of the things that I was really afraid of with global blonding. I remember lying to my clients and I actually a couple months ago, one of my old clients commented on one of my global blinding posts. She's like, I remember it. 2000 and whatever, 10 I asked you to do this and you said no way. She's like, I just want to tell you, I'm so proud of you for your growth. So I decided to start tackling things I was afraid of global blending had no idea how to do it. Like we're taught 30 or 40 volume on Scout powder. lightener put it on two hours. You're good, right? So I started playing around with different products, different techniques. And I ended up coming up with a global blending method. It has 33 steps I've been teaching for seven years, people in the salon started noticing they wanted to take a class, and then another salon heard about it. And so I was teaching at another slot. And before you know it, seven years have gone by and actually this past weekend, I just taught my last ever global blonding in person workshop. It's been such an incredible journey. You know, just because I'm not teaching hair does not mean I'm leaving the industry, I'm pivoting to do something that has really been a huge part of my life, especially in sobriety. And I'm going to be you know, I talk a lot about mental health, but I've got a lot of mental health workshops coming up that I'm gonna be teaching, I'm gonna be teaching around the country. So I said I would keep it quick. I don't I don't know if that was quick. But that's my life in a nutshell.

Matthew Landis: 16:10

No, I thank you so much for sharing that that is so inspiring to me and so relatable on a lot of ways, as I'm sure that it is, for a lot of our pros that are listening. You know, it's funny, you mentioned that you were either going to be a hairdresser or a realtor. Back in the 90s. When talk shows were big, I knew that I was really good at talking to people. And I thought, Okay, I'm either going to be a hairdresser or a talk show host. Hairdresser was a better option. But no, thank you for sharing. I would like to know for our pros, how your work behind the chair, how that affected your mental health because I think I tell people all the time that what we do is one of the most terrifying things and it's we're filled with anxiety on a daily basis to the point where we're so used to it, we don't even think about it anymore. We just live with it.

Sarai Speer: 17:05

You know, it's been such a journey for me going from acting like a piece of trash to, you know, getting my shit together. And then what I did was at the time, I didn't realize it I was transferring addictions, which is what a lot of us addicts do, we find another thing to get obsessed with and but I would justify it by I'm throwing myself into work. And at least this is like paying the bills and not draining the bank account like my other habits, right? But I got fully sucked into hustle culture. I mean, I hit the ground running and I started I started doing people's hair for free so that I could learn I wanted to build a clientele. I went up to random strangers in the freakin shopping centers and I would hand them my business card. I was taking anything and everything to learn and so I started working 40 hours a week then 50 Then 60 Then at the 90 and when I tell you all I was working 100 hours a week I'm not exaggerating, I didn't know how much my mental health was deteriorating because you can't we're humans and we adjust to our surroundings and our situations right so we learn to live with this high functioning anxiety we learn to live with this depression we learn to live operating it at such a high level on my nervous system was just shot. I was always go go go doo doo doo. And I was avoiding myself. I was avoiding the shit that I had not unpacked yet. So I was dealing with clients because if I deal with clients Shit, I don't want to deal with my shit. Hell yeah, I love that. And then I started teaching and traveling there were two years in a row before the Pandy where I was gone 43 and 48 out of 52 weekends and in between that I was in the salon. So I was a full blown workaholic and I had anxiety. I mean, I was doing so many clients a day and I would put my happiness on that client's head. So if they weren't happy with what I gave them, I was suddenly taken back to childhood to being called a piece of shit telling being told I was worthless. I was never gonna amount to anything. I was garbage. And so I'm living in this this hamster wheel of anxiety and work and hustle and go go go and I'm grateful I'm incredibly grateful for the experience. I'm so thankful I had it but y'all know where this is going you cannot sustain that forever. And I thought Fuck you guys. Yes, I can I'm damn Superman. I am not built like you I can operate at such a high level. Well, I did until I did it. Last year it kind of came crashing down. I had toured I had toured internationally there were back to back trips to Canada to Sweden and then all over United States and and everybody's like, Oh my God, you're killing it. And I hate it when people say that. I can't stand it when people say that because y'all have no idea what's going on inside, right? No idea. So everybody thinks I'm killing it. And what's happening is I'm killing myself. I'm literally and physically killing myself from exhaustion. And what I hadn't shared with anybody until last November was that I've had a 28 year eating disorder. That was my secret. And I thought, well, I got rid of drugs that got rid of alcohol. You know, I can I this is mine, it was legitimately killing me. So in November, when my tours ended, I had made a promise to my frickin therapist at the beginning of summer that I would go to treatment for my eating disorder when all my travel was over. So November came, I started to freak out my husband and I last minute booked an Airbnb in the mountains in Bozeman. We went up there and I had a, I had a breakdown, I had a full fledged mental breakdown. And I realized I got honest with myself, and I just knew I could not continue the way I was going, the work was killing me, my eating disorder was killing me. And so I made the decision that I would go public with my eating disorder. And it's one thing I've talked about, and I talk so openly about everything. Because when I do that, it gives you permission to talk openly. I just say, You know what, me too. I November, I went public on social media, and in February and went to treatment. And from February, March and April, I was in treatment. And that was the beginning of this, I would say next version of survive this evolved healing version, I was in six weeks of therapy, and it was 12 hours a day, you were stuck in a house with 12. Humans, you're in and out of therapy all day working on your shit. So to me that six weeks of therapy was more like six years of therapy, because it's all the time and I started to unpack all that addiction stuff, all that over work stuff. And when I came back, I again, I made that promise to myself, like I can't, I can't keep doing this, I can't keep doing this. And so over the last couple months, I mean, before I went to treatment, I had cut my schedule down for seven days, and then six days than five days, then four days. And then I was three. And now I think I'm in the salon maybe two to three times a month, because I had gotten so burnt out that I was functioning at such a high level of burnout that I almost I almost left the industry, when I tell you I wanted to burn it to the ground, everything I created, it took a lot of people to convince me don't burn it down, just like step back and find another way. You know, I think we've all been at that place where we want to walk away, we want to quit, we're frustrated, we can't take it anymore. We can't take any more snide comments from our client, you know, it's just that one little straw that's gonna break the camel's back, again, I can relate so much. That's because the lowest point one of the lowest points in my life, and one of the lowest points in my career, I was working six or seven days a week, I think to sort of paper over what was really going on and to sort of project this image that I'm okay, I'm gonna be okay, I can do this, I can get back on the on the horse, you know, my ego was sort of superseding common sense. And mental health. And some point I knew that I needed help.

Matthew Landis: 23:15

I, you know, I'd had a therapist at one point, but I hired a coach, my career was the only sort of part of me that was left because I had compartmentalized all the other parts of me and put them away because they were too painful. It was through this coach, this career coach that I hired Lynn Christian, that I realized, what I thought I needed to do was the exact opposite. You know, I was running a beauty school at the time I was teaching on the road, and I was working behind the chair, I had to quit most of it. And I had to start over. And I knew that the only way forward for me was to get back to one client at a time and one day at a time and to basically burn it to the ground and start over. So I really admire you. And you know, I think one of the things that when I'm hearing your story is that you had somebody that loved you enough to wake you up and tell you that you needed help. And I think that one of the things in my own journey I think that's probably true for a lot of people is and this goes to the client in the chair right is allowing myself to be loved. Yeah. And somehow wanting that every day from the clients that are in our chair. We want them to like us, we want them to be happy. And we become pleasers at our own expense. What I'm fascinated with you and your journey and listening to some of your posts and things is how do we help others in the industry with these issues around mental health because we just don't talk about them?

Sarai Speer: 24:45

No, I mean, I think it's happening more and more we're having more conversations like these these tough ones right? Part of hairstyling is still stuck in like the double and triple book in the in the hustle culture and then there's a split of us who are like no, no, no self care. I used to think self care was for everybody else except me. But what I didn't realize was, I was lucky to get by burning the candle at both ends, and in the middle, but I wasn't protecting my mental peace. I had zero semblance of balance. And so again, that's, you can do that for a while, as you know, but there's gonna come a point where you have a breakdown, you have a snap, you have a whatever, and then it's up to you. Do you want to get back in that bullshit? Or do you want to change things for me creating balance in my life, and I'm not talking about this 5050 Bullshit, because that is not balanced, okay, it's never going to be 50% Work 50% home, and anybody who tells you that is a liar, okay, and you can send them my way balanced to me is like living between the ABS and the flows. So your abs aren't so low, your flows aren't so high, or vice versa, whatever, being able to create a life in a space where how many listening out there have hobbies that they're active in, I'm going to take a wild guess and say, not a majority, our identities are so wrapped up in being a hairstylist in what we do that we don't take time to paint or dance or whatever the hell our interests are, we work and then we take that home with us. And we let our clients dictate our lives. And what I've realized is I was searching for external validation through drugs, alcohol clients, I became addicted to social media, we're searching for external validation for an internal problem. And the problem with that is no matter how many followers you have, how much money you make, as a hairstylist, how many clients you have, how much they love and adore you and shower you with the tension, it's never going to be enough. And you're always going to be chasing that dragon. Because you haven't dealt with your own bullshit inside. hairstylists have to prove their mental health, their self care, before they do anything before they take care of people because, and I hate that saying, like, fill up your cup, so you can pour from it and fill others No, fill up your cup, so you're full, okay, like just a period, full stop. That's the end of the dam sentence. But when we rest, when we do things outside of hair that we love to do, when we are living as a whole person, we're just better humans to be around, meaning we're going to be able to give more to our client and we're not going to be exhausted by them, we're going to be able to implement boundaries for our mental health. And it's not going to feel like oh god, I have to raise my prices or have to have this conversation. It's like, this is what I need to protect my peace and my mental health. So this, you know, we hear a lot of these just to be clear image.

Matthew Landis: 27:52

We're talking not just about hairstylist, but but people from all sorts of facets of the beauty, health and wellness industries. But we hear a lot of buzzwords like self care, we hear a lot of these things. And we're like, okay, I don't really know what that means or how to incorporate that. That's really great. But you know, one of the things that I teach in my courses is that, especially when you own your own business, when you are a solopreneur, and you have a suite, and you're a suite owner, there is no business without you. Bingo. If you don't take care of you, then it all falls apart. Yeah. I would love to hear from you some practical tips and tricks or ways because I think one of the things is we hear these buzzwords, and we're like, Well, that's easy for him to say or for her to say them to say but how can our pros incorporate some of these things? What are what are some things that we can do?

Sarai Speer: 28:45

First and foremost, I want to remind everyone that big sweeping changes never last, okay, you can go from the couch to running a full fucking marathon in three weeks. You just you can't even if you try like you can't. So micro shifts are what is going to sustain lasting change. So a couple big changes I made listen, I was a workaholic. I was addicted to social media. When I say I legitimately have five phones. I'm not even joking. They're for content because I create a lot of content. But I became addicted to my phone, social media and all the things and I was not making any time for myself. So one of the best things that happened to me when I went to treatment, and I really want to suggest that everybody listening, take me up on this challenge for like a week or two. Just try it. I took my phone to bed with me. Okay, so I would scroll before I went to sleep right? And then as soon as I woke up, I was scrolling now in treatment, they said no phones and I was like Screw you. I'm leaving. I hate this shit. Well, I had no phone to go to bed with at night and we got an hour in the evening. And I had no phone to wake up to. It's so hard but I want to challenge you to leave. Use your phone in the kitchen and another bedroom, plug it in, do not touch it before you go to bed, get a real damn alarm clock in your bedroom and use that to wake up. And before you reach for your phone in the morning, I want you to do one thing for yourself. My morning routine is like an hour. Now I do affirmations I do card polls, I light my incense. I do gratitude journaling, I actually do meditation. So I want you to do one thing in the morning for you. So maybe a five minute guided meditation or maybe writing out three things you're grateful for and why or set your intention for the day before you pick up your goddamn phone and get on social media. Okay, that is going to be a way to start your day off with intention. Start your day off with yourself. And if you're sitting there rolling your eyes so hard that I could hear you through this right now that you don't have the time I'm going to tell you bullshit, you can wake up 510 15 minutes early. I'm not asking you to give me an hour, I'm asking you to give yourself five to 15 minutes every morning to set your intention for your day. To start your day with gratitude. Instead of fucking Doom scrolling and comparing. And before you walk out the door, you feel like a piece of trash, you feel like you're not doing enough you feel like you're not good enough. Your hair work is crap. You're a shitty entrepreneur, blah, blah, blah. So I really want to challenge you to do that. These are simple. These are fucking simple things. Put your goddamn phone down, give three gratitudes in the morning. And that's it's so simple. But what our brain tells us, anytime we do something out of routine, our brain tells us we're not safe. And that goes back to the I called the monkey mind or the caveman. Our brain has neural pathways. It's basically like a dirt track or like a NASCAR. Right? Anytime we try to veer off our brain says no, no, no, not safe, not going to do it. And this is why it's so hard for people to make these lasting changes. When you do something small, you can up 10 minutes early, do three gratitudes you can do that. Right? So then in a couple of weeks, you're like, Hey, I'm really liking the way I'm feeling you know what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna try just a two minute guided meditation, write an affirmation, or I'm gonna pull an affirmation card. Again, micro shifts, I'm not asking you to completely fucking up, end your life and flip it on its head because that shit is not going to last. I really think throughout the day, even taking some time to step away. I love breathing exercises. I'm super into breath work lately. But there was a point where I would I was a smoker at the time. I'm no longer a smoker, but I was a smoker in between clients, I would go sit outside and I would smoke. And I was like, Oh my God, I feel like I can breathe now says the lady with a cancer stick in her mouth. But essentially what I was doing was I was getting out of my suite, I was putting my feet on the ground, I was grounding myself and I was deep breathing. So I suggest doing that without a fucking vape or a cigarette people I'm simply doing a couple rounds of box breathing which is in for four hold for four out for four hold for for y'all. I'm telling you that right there, it will automatically calm your nervous system. So when you're running late or parents not happy with their hair, somebody forgot their appointment or all the shit throughout the day, you can find a minute or two to step outside ground yourself and do a couple deep breathing exercises that when I started doing that, I was like you know what I actually I'm cool, I can handle anything the day throws at me now and then to to round out your day. And again, I don't I don't want to throw too much at you. Because if you're not doing any of this, I want you to be able to implement these things to end your day taking again that time at night putting down your phone turning it on Do Not Disturb reading a book or giving gratitude I just sort of reflecting on your day. And one of my favorite things to do is to say two or three things that went well that day, and two or three things that I can do tomorrow to improve my day. And again, when you start implementing these tiny little things throughout your day, it's not overwhelming. It's not like oh my god, I've got a I've got a plan to do this. When you start doing this on a regular basis. You will be amazed at the changes in your energy level in your attitude in your ability to respond not react to clients to co workers. It's those are little things that anybody listening can integrate in order to start calming the fuck down like giving yourself just a few minutes throughout the day and then see where that takes you.

Matthew Landis: 34:46

I love that you know one of my things was leave the building Yeah, even for five minutes. Outside look at the trees look at the sky in Salt Lake City. It was look at the mountains. Love it. You know, I realized this little trick when I was living in New York, it was so high pressure working in New York City. And I would get, I would start sweating because I would be so nervous and afraid, because I was still pretty new in the industry. And there was a lot of pressure and I would just look out the window, and I would watch all the people going by and I would think to myself, they don't give a shit what's going on inside here. So let it go.

Sarai Speer: 35:28

Yeah, absolutely. Let it go. Let it go. Okay.

Matthew Landis: 35:33

Love that. Tell me what what does the future look like for you?

Sarai Speer: 35:36

You know, I've been in this space where I'm like, I don't know, I kept telling myself, I don't know. But I realized I do know, I don't know how I'm gonna get there yet. But I have an incredible community to call Ballard stylist society. I did started I started it two years ago. And it was just me running the community for almost two years. And we've now expanded to it is hair education, it is business education, it is mental health and wellness. And it is community and connection. I have 10 educator, so there's 11 of us total, who provide all of that hair tutorials, mental health tutorials, business, education, financial education, I'm running that that's my full time job. Now I am in the process of creating mental health workshops for any beauty industry professional, you do not have to be a hairstylist, anybody who basically touches another human for a living. I'm in the process of writing my second or third ebook, and coming out with my second healing journal, I've got one that is it's called reclaim your power. It's a shadow work journal. So I'm creating a space where whether it is an online or whether it is in person, my thing is show up as you are come as you are, I create safe judgment free spaces where you are allowed to be you weird, vulnerable, raw, because what I've realized is that is where our true power is when we get to step into a space as authentically ourselves. If you're a weirdo, be a fucking weirdo, okay? If you're a wallflower, be a wallflower. But when we get to be authentically ourselves, the thing that nobody tells us, that's where our magic is, because nobody else can do it like you. And so my future looks like continuing to build the balance style of society Empire, and creating workshops that really help people just get the fuck out of their own way.

Matthew Landis: 37:35

I'm looking at your website and looking at all the resources that are available that you provide. And it's really an incredible treasure trove of good stuff for our pros. So thank you for putting that out there in the world and providing that space for people.

Sarai Speer: 37:51

It's, it's truly it's my pleasure, because I know how much the industry needs it. I know how much it has changed my life. And I've always known since I was a little girl. My purpose on this planet is to help people that's it. Like it's look different at different stages of my life. And I can look back and see why went through every single thing I've been through. Because it's led me to this conversation this very moment. Truly, my passion is helping people that is all they want to do for the rest of my life. It's so great to have that sense of purpose. And I'm I'm sure that didn't come easy. no looking back. I can see at the time, like why the fuck is this happening to me? Why, why why? And now I'm like, Oh, I got it. I got it. Because hindsight is always 2020. And again, just incredibly grateful for every single moment, I fell flat on my face, where I failed, where I screwed up so bad, because it has helped me become who I am today. And now I want to give people tools and I want to let them know you are not your past. You are not your past behaviors. You are not your past experiences. I've been to jail. I don't even know how many damn times I've got 27 mug shots floating around. I have been a homeless junkie. That is not who I am. And that is not my future. But I had to do that I have to be that person. In order to come out on the other side, humans become badass humans and step into their power. Where can our pros find you on Instagram? You can find me at the platinum giraffe. And if you just click the link in my bio, there's your free resources in there. You can join balanced Isla society. It's$25 a month. There's no contracts, no commitments, because if you don't want to be there, I don't want you to be there. Come in, check it out. I'm constantly living over there. I'm not really on the ticky talkies because I don't really like the ticky tacky so pretty much you can find me on Instagram or www.platinumgiraffe.com.

Matthew Landis: 39:46

And before we go I just have maybe one last question maybe two I don't know. What are you grateful for today?

Sarai Speer: 39:52

Today? I am incredibly grateful for this connection in this conversation anytime I get to share and also hear and listen, it helps me become a better person. And it really puts me in this space of, I'm so grateful that I've been through all that shit so that I can share. And I'm really incredibly grateful for the opportunity to talk about mental health and to talk about these things that are not quite normalized yet. And just have open, honest, real, raw, vulnerable conversation. I'm grateful for this opportunity to have this conversation with you as well grateful for what I do to be able to get to know people like you and fills, fills my cup fills my soul makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and sad. I was so excited for this interview today. And it has been really such a pleasure. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.

Matthew Landis: 40:53

Thank you so much for joining me for this episode of The VIP Suite. I'm Matthew Landis and I hope you found the insights and inspirations shared today truly valuable for your journey as a solo entrepreneur, and independent beauty, health or wellness professionals. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram@imagestudios360. And if you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe to the VIP suite on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an opportunity to connect with our vibrant community and to discover more incredible stories and strategies. We love hearing from our listeners. So if you have any questions, topic suggestions or want to share your own success story, feel free to reach out to me at Matthew at imagestudios360.com. Remember, dear listener, you are the heartbeat of the beauty, health and wellness industry. Your dedication and passion make the world a better place one client at a time keep shining, keep growing and keep making a positive impact. We'll be back with more engaging conversations and valuable content in our next episode. Until then take care stay inspired and continue to create your own VIP Suite. For more information about becoming a part of the image studios luxury Salon Suite community, visit our website at imagestudios360.com