Hangxiety

Have you ever thought, “What did I do last night?! Why did I say that?” and begin a spiral of anxious or shameful thoughts? We explore hangxiety and  what is actually happening in our body.

Transcript

Marissa: Welcome to the Silver Linings Podcast. I'm Marissa Whitaker. I work with students discussing the relationship between substance use and their well being.

Jen: And I'm Jen Talarico I'm a senior mental health counselor. We work in Conley Counseling and Wellness and we are passionate about understanding the human condition.

Marissa: Sometimes life can be tough. This podcast acknowledges life's complexities by using an optimistic and humorous approach.

Jen: So we've all been there when you wake up after a night out and you're thinking, all right, what did I do last night? What did I say last night? And you begin that fun spiral of just anxious thought after anxious thought, or maybe shameful thoughts, thinking, no one likes me anymore. No one's ever going to speak to me again after that. In those moments, if we rewind, many of these nights might begin with anxiety over going out in the first place, and maybe drinking in an effort to relax ourselves and fit in in those moments. In today's episode, we're going to explore the reasons of why we do this and what is actually happening in our body.

Marissa: There are many reasons why people drink today. We want to focus specifically on the loop of alcohol and then its overlap with social anxiety. And this can look like a lot of different things. So maybe we're drinking so we feel more sociable, wanting to fit in with our current friends. Maybe we met some new friends. And alcohol tends to be a larger focus compared to some of your other friends. Maybe you're pledging to a fraternity or rushing a sorority. Maybe you've just joined a new athletic team. Maybe you're hoping to meet people to hook up with or pursue a relationship with. The list really goes on. But this can become a bit of a cycle. So not only can you feel pressure to go out if you don't want to from friends or maybe even ourselves, or maybe you truly want to go out despite having anxiety about going out, potentially leading to anxiety inducing situations afterwards, right?

Jen: So I think sometimes this is where that idea of liquid courage might come in. So we're thinking if we drink, the effort there might be to suppress any of those uncomfortable or negative experiences you were just talking about. If we're having racing thoughts or even those physical symptoms that can come with anxiety, where maybe you're feeling nauseous in your stomach, you're fidgeting, you're shaky, maybe your hands or your feet. You can have a fast heart rate, among a lot of other symptoms that come along with that naturally. So even holding something in your hand, you might think that might help with anxiety in that moment, because maybe it's fixing that fidgety, shaky element. But then you might be drinking more because the hand might not be holding water all of the time, right? Or all of a sudden. I don't know about a lot of people, but I'm lucky to drink like a bottle of water during the day when you're out, you're probably slamming a lot more drinks than that.

Marissa: I don't think people realize sometimes even just a can of beer is 12oz. So for people that have ten beers in one night, which is arguably a lot, that's 120oz. How many people? There's people that don't drink 120oz of water in a day, but you'll do that with beer absolutely.

Jen: Within a few hours, rapidly. Right. Something to think about. So again, thinking that we're helping manage our anxiety, but not really thinking what are we doing in that moment? Or maybe you're just yelling across the bar to your friend and being in a bar, it's crowded, it can be really hot, especially if people are dancing, even if you're not dancing, but especially maybe if you're dancing or walking around, you're getting thirstier just by nature, being in that environment.

Marissa: And truthfully, in the moment, sometimes it does feel good to be intoxicated, to be drinking with friends. Sometimes those feelings can be really temporary, though. And then there are also some elements that are fun about alcohol, whether we're bonding over it. I mean, just looking at any bathroom in a local bar, or some people that feel like they're great at dancing or singing or having a good time.

Jen: Most people probably have had that experience.

Marissa: I hope I'm not the only carrier.

Jen: Making a new best friend in the bathroom.

Marissa: Yes, and I've never gone near a microphone ever since.

Jen: And if you haven't had that experience, if maybe you've been the DD, you're the sober person, I'm sure you've observed this behavior, which is even more cringey, I think, when you're the sober one in the bathroom watching your friends make new bridesmaids and future best friends that you know are never going to speak to again. So a lot of the times, even if that starts out as a fun night, even if the night is a blast, we can wake up and have that familiar friend of anxiety in the morning. So anxiety, which is the hangover effect of where you're waking up with a lot of anxiety, so even if it is a really fun night starts out fun, maybe the night was fun itself. It doesn't mean that we don't wake up in the morning and experience hangover's friend anxiety. So when we're waking up with just a rush of anxious feelings, anxiety itself can last way longer than those few hours of drinking even did. So a lot of times you might be thinking, like, we started the episode with what did I do last night? We've all been there with embarrassment, right? Especially maybe after a couple of drinks. And sometimes it might feel like a blessing if we don't remember everything. But also these days, our friends probably remember everything, or they have pictures or videos on their phone to fill in the gaps, or social media. So this is where it can go from being embarrassing to straight up like Mortifying and Forever on the yeah, yeah.

Marissa: I mean, if Beyonce can't remove that picture, they're not going to remove your TikTok.

Jen: Right? And you have strangers not even in your friend group anymore.

Marissa: Yeah.

Jen: Not the reason we probably want to be getting all those followers on social media. So thinking of that, what is the sustainability of using alcohol as a social crutch? So as we're talking about, it might work temporarily. It might lead to getting those nerves to calm down, taking the edge off, getting those inhibitions down. So you're actually feeling like you can do karaoke and be up there singing and dancing, but it's, you know, how long can that last? Within hours, the following day, there are chemical mood changes in our body. Due to that. Alcohol that can't just be readily readjusted, takes our body a little bit of time to bounce back, and a lot of research will back this up. So the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism found that more frequently, young adults use substances to cope with social anxiety, the more negative effects they actually experienced overall, and that continuing to drink as a coping strategy might lead to more negative consequences in the long term, and thus the need to drink even more. So even though it's probably not your first time hearing this, obviously all this probably makes sense, but then why do we still do it?

Marissa: Yeah. And that is the million dollar question. I mean, how many times are people like, oh my God, I'm never going to drink like that again on a Wednesday, and then Thursday night they're back at Red Jug. So I think people can have the best intentions sometimes, but we get caught up in the moment. So let's kind of switch gears a little bit as to what's actually happening in the brain to make us this way. So if you're not into the science, I'd skip ahead maybe 30 seconds or so. But if you are curious as to why this happens, alcohol is a depressant that slows down the processes in your brain and central nervous system. This can look like a bunch of different things we've all seen. People losing their motor skills, having slurred speech, blurred vision, impaired judgment. And alcohol does this by interacting with chemical messengers in the brain, particularly the neurotransmitter GABA. So the main role of GABA is to regulate the nervous system in our body, which is responsible for the body's balance, ability to move. Thought processes alertness our five senses. So that person that thought they had some pretty solid dance moves or they were doing karaoke, or maybe they thought they could eat a full order of Italian cheese bread. Lots of different things can happen when someone's intoxicated.

Jen: So that calming effect you're experiencing might not be from the cheese bread, it might actually be from GABA itself. So GABA is also known for producing a calming effect in our body by decreasing activity in the brain and making us feel less inhibited and even euphoric. So what happens is alcohol actually mimics GABA and it reduces or practically eliminates over time GABA production as a whole. So now it's just alcohol coming into your system that's producing that calming sedative effect that makes us maybe relax and unwind. Our inhibitions go down over time that's no longer GABA. So when that alcohol is in our system it will wear off and then boom. Anxiety. All these things that we were just talking about. Because when the alcohol wears off there's not just GABA right there to replace it. Especially again, over time it's produced less and less by the brain because your brain gets more and more alcohol that substitutes for it. So along with that, makes sense that our emotions are just not as easily regulated and our physical body health changes in addition to all those coordination things you just mentioned are just not going to be the same.

Marissa: Maybe some people who are listening now are in college and doesn't seem like it's that big of a deal long term for some of this. But if alcohol becomes someone's true way to cope with stress, they feel that that's the only thing that can help with anxiety. Once those neurotransmitters get replaced, we're not only dealing with behavior modifications, we're dealing with a whole different chemical balance within the brain. So it might not feel like a big deal going out on Thursdays and Saturdays now, but as tolerance builds, as maybe more opportunities increase, you can see how this is not a sustainable situation long term.

Jen: Absolutely. So the more that we don't have that natural GABA effect of the calming, relaxing, even the alcohol wears off, might be more irritable, more moody, more and more people are going to want to reintroduce that alcohol again. So there are both short and long term effects from this. Right. So with that long term effects absolutely. That this could make us more and more reliant on alcohol and have a dependence. But even in the short term, thinking about if you've experienced this or some of your friends or people you've witnessed, the more we're replacing that GABA with alcohol, that anxiety might also turn to anger. Depression. The next day, people feeling lost because again, empty receptors. They might want to go back out that night to feel that euphoria again. So all of a sudden it's not maybe about just social anxiety, it's about sustaining, which can get kind of scary. Yeah, kind of like chasing the white rabbit. So that idea of every time you use a substance, that first rush, that first white rabbit, right. You're never going to maybe experience that again. So sometimes it takes more and more of a substance to reach the same level of intoxication or the same high and then more of a need to just have it to function rather than showing results. Right. So tolerance? Yeah.

Marissa: And we've approached most of this with some Levity. But on a serious note, how alcohol and prescribed medications can interact. So maybe somebody is prescribed antianxiety medications. Antidepressants that mixed with alcohol can really have some significantly negative impacts. Not only might you get drunk faster and feel like you've had four drinks instead of one, but other more serious consequences could occur, too, including death. And I'm not a scare tactic person, but this is something that can happen. Let's not even get started on cocaine and alcohol mixed together. I will get a little bit started. Cocaine and alcohol mixed together forms coca ethylene and there's coca ethylene poisoning, which kills people.

Jen: I think. Thinking sometimes you'll hear like, oh, I only use cocaine to keep me sober. It's a good thing. It's like, well, it's not just like, oh, yeah, I'm maintaining my sobriety. It's like thinking about what you think might be happening in that moment is not what your body thinks is happening.

Marissa: Yes, you might not feel intoxicated, your body doesn't care how you feel. Your body doesn't necessarily realize, oh, I've had cocaine to balance this. Your body's looking at your blood alcohol concentration, and that's independent of any other substance use. Also, too, a stimulant is definitely not going to help you if you're feeling.

Jen: Anxious, leading into more of that anxiety effect the next day, your social anxiety, especially adding in more substances, is not going to help.

Marissa: Yeah, and you thought your hangover from alcohol was bad. A hangover from alcohol and cocaine not going to be any right, right.

Jen: And like you said, the prescription drugs also, I think, doesn't mean you can't drink, but talk to your provider. There's smart ways to do this if you're going to do it, but just being careful, like Marissa said, if you don't do this in a smart way, you have some serious consequences. And yeah, you're getting pulled over. Doesn't matter if you have one beer and your Xanax, that officer is going to give you a DUI.

Marissa: Yeah.

Jen: So it kind of comes down to all of that. Okay, then, what's really going on here? Right. So, again, we know all of these serious elements. We've probably heard some of this stuff before, but like we say, why are we doing it then? So really thinking, what is going on behind this use of alcohol or other substances? But I know we're focusing more on alcohol today to self medicate, especially with social anxiety. I think really using that opportunity to build that awareness of where is this stemming from? And those are the issues that really need to be addressed versus putting a Band Aid on it and then having that feeling like it's painfully just being ripped off repeatedly. Because, again, we could do this every weekend. We could have our inhibitions go down, we could have some fun the next day. It's going to be more and more painful as this goes on. Or tolerance is going to have to keep being risen. Right. This is not sustainable. And in thinking more about the future. Not only is it problematic now, but yeah, what happens when you need three to four drinks just to socialize? Or you have an upcoming exam, or you have work, or you have presentations or anytime you feel uncomfortable, can't just go out and have a couple of drinks beforehand to take the edge off or to bring those inhibitions down. So we know that these aren't ways to cope long term. But at the same time, I think we're in this position where our society really glamorizes alcohol thinking. How often do you hear like happy hour right after a hard day at work? You want to get that edge off, go out with people, meet your friends. I think most bars have nights of the week where there's different things going on. It kind of is the place to go and relax unwind and be social. So I think it can be hard when we're thinking, why do we do this? And I think we know why we are drawn to this.

Marissa: Yeah, I mean it really is systemic. I mean, even just think of your favorite shows or just next time you have the TV on, watch how often alcohol comes into a scene. Whether it's someone just holding a drink, whether it's gathered in a bar, whether people are gathered around drinking, whether alcohol is the centerpiece and we're not the puritan police about this stuff, but just really being mindful how alcohol is just integrated into the fabrics of our society. So to kind of bring it all together. College is full of new social interactions that can really be difficult for anybody, especially for those who may have social anxiety. So where's the silver lining? It's okay to be anxious and uncomfortable. Statistically, there's a good chance that others in your friend group or the bar or wherever, somebody may be even independent of alcohol. But other people are anxious too. If you're worried about being weird or quirky, lean into it. Some may find it endearing and charming coming from a weird and quirky person. If you're worried about being boring though, you might be selling yourself short. Everybody has something to offer. You just need to find your people that appreciate you.

Jen: I think along the lines with that, you might be surprised to know who else is anxious in that bar or your friends. It'd be interesting because to you they seem comfortable. They seem great. So even if you're feeling weird or quirky or anxious, it doesn't mean people can see that on you. We can feel it internally. It doesn't mean externally people can see that again. Also, maybe those that are seeming the most outgoing at a party or a bar, everything we talked about, maybe their Gabbas being replaced, they're anxious, they drank to get to that point before you got there. So those really outgoing, exciting people might also have anxiety and be struggling with some of these same things. I think statistically it is the majority that probably experience social anxiety on some level, not maybe all of them are using alcohol to cope with it. But I think a lot of people statistically, in any given place have some form of anxiety. And if you are using alcohol as your way to cope or socialize, maybe exploring, do you have safe friends or are you going to make new friends that can go to places and do things that don't just focus on alcohol? And again, I know that can be difficult, especially with a college population, but they're out there. There are a lot of people out there. There are a lot of things to do out there where that doesn't have to be your focus or all night long have to be your focus. We mentioned a little bit earlier too, maybe that safety element of holding something. I'm a fidgeter, I will always have my coffee cup in my hand, maybe having water instead of an alcoholic drink. Thinking about that as you're going out thinking where's your comfort zone? What would make these easier and more able to reduce that urge to drink, to manage social anxiety or to fit in, right? Maybe thinking about those things and seeking extra help is never a bad thing, right? So if you're feeling like you're having a hard time figuring out other coping strategies or maybe they're failing, reach out and get more support.

Marissa: In addition to our counseling center, there are people on campus who can help you too, if you're having a hard time finding coping strategies that doesn't involve alcohol or substance use. So we have the Prevention Education Office. I'm happy to talk to students to really figure out where alcohol and other substances fit into your life right now, what's working for you. And honestly, sometimes taking a look at what's not working not going to make you sign a sobriety pledge. But there are some strategies that we can adopt to really just meet you where you're at with things and figure out some ways to stay healthy and still have a good time when you're in college. So thanks for listening to our alcohol and social anxiety episode.

Jen: Hopefully it helped either make sense of some of the things that you've been experiencing, hopefully it gave you some suggestions for alternative ways you could do some things to cope in healthy ways or at least some really good resources if you just need a little extra help right now.

Marissa: We'll see you next time.