Lacy Estelle [00:00:00]:
Hey, guys. Welcome back to an ADD Woman podcast. So I recorded this episode, and then after I recorded it, I realized really long. So I'm gonna break it up into 2 parts. But in part 1 of this episode, we're gonna talk about when should you or if you should, and this is the question I get asked the most, seek a diagnosis. And then I will also get into the where, the what, the how, the why. So here is part 1 of should I get an ADHD diagnosis.
Lacy Estelle [00:00:37]:
Welcome to an ADD Woman podcast. I'm your host, Lacy Estelle. This is the podcast where we talk about all things to do with ADHD from a Christian woman's perspective. I'm so glad you're here, and I can't wait for you to realize all the amazing things that God is doing in your life.
Lacy Estelle [00:00:59]:
Hi, guys. You might be noticing that I am gonna be talking pretty quiet today, actually, at my local library. So today, I am really excited to talk to you guys about this because I've actually been thinking about this for, like, 2 weeks, and I apologize that my schedule has been off. I have not been able to record as often as I wanted to. You know, I'd like to say that it was it's, you know, specific circumstances or some it's just me. It's just my everyday struggle and everything. So this is the question I get asked the most, and I don't know why I should have done a podcast about it before. So question I get asked the most is, should I seek a diagnosis? Or it's a variation of that question.
Lacy Estelle [00:01:46]:
So should you seek a diagnosis? When do you seek a diagnosis and why? So that's what we're gonna talk about today. In previous episodes, I've talked about, you know, how I didn't get diagnosed until I was much older, and I saw a neuropsychiatrist. Actually, I saw a neuropsychologist for my diagnosis, and I am seeing a neuropsychiatrist recently. And getting a diagnosis is it's really it's it's up to you personally. What do you want? What do you feel will come from a diagnosis? And it's often, you know, depending on how you are with your ADHD and everything, you know, your history of working with doctors in regards to your mental health. What did that look like for you? I had a friend recently who came to me, and she was asking me, you know, do you think I have this? And I said, oh, 150%. I'm positive. We are we are just alike.
Lacy Estelle [00:02:49]:
And she said, well, it was it was difficult for her to want to seek a diagnosis because in the past, she had been misdiagnosed. And she had been misdiagnosed with, bipolar disorder, and they had put her on a slew of medications that actually cost her her mental health got worse. She ended up in the hospital. So she had, like, this, you know, trauma of, oh my gosh. Like, I don't want it. I don't I don't want that to happen again. What if this is all in my head? Well, it is all in your head. Mental health is all in your head.
Lacy Estelle [00:03:24]:
But I had to tell her, I said, if you, you know, do your own research and you come to your doctor or your, your psychologist or whoever it is that you're seeking and you say, I've done my own research. I think this is what I'm dealing with. What else do I need to do for you to feel comfortable saying that that is what I'm dealing with and then offering the insight as far as treatment for that specifically. So the first question I'll tell you to ask yourself is, how much how often do you feel that your ADHD quirks, quote, unquote, are impacting your life and at that impacting the quality of your life? So I have probably told this story before, but when I started to realize that I had ADHD and I started to see everything, you know, much clearer, because all of a sudden, it was like, oh, this is why I do this, or this is why this happens, or this is why that happens. And there was a day where I had lost my keys for, like, the 3rd time in one day. And I will say, like, I don't even think it was that I had lost my keys for, like, the 3rd time in one day. It was, like, the 3rd time in, like, a span of 3 or 4 hours. And I was late, and I needed to leave.
Lacy Estelle [00:04:48]:
I I broke down crying. And my mom was helping me look for the keys, and she was like, what's the matter? And I just I just told her. I just said, I'm tired of this. I'm tired of feeling like, you know, every time I turn around, there's this this giant block that just keeps me from being able to just just move through my day. You know? Like, that was all I need. I just needed I just needed leave. I just needed my keys. And my brain has a very hard time creating small habits that will help me to just move smoothly smoothly through my day, like the habit of always putting my keys in the same spot.
Lacy Estelle [00:05:28]:
And so where they were at any given time, I didn't really know because the other part of my brain that lacks this short term memory, most people and they don't even realize doing it, but most people can set something down to their phone or something along those lines, and they they can take a mental note. They can take a mental picture, like, of where they sit. Sometimes when you have ADHD, you can do that, but a lot of times you can't, and there's a lot of things that you can't do it with. So I just start crying, and she was like, what is wrong? And I was like, this brain, I just I I just need to leave, and this is, like, the 3rd or time I've had to find my keys today, and I cannot I can't I just can't always handle it. And I she said, you know, okay. I'm I'm sorry. You know? And my mom is a fixer, so I have no idea where I get that from. She's a fixer, so, of course, she was like, well, why don't you try this? Why don't you try them? Like, don't you think that I have don't you think that I have tried all those things? Because I have tried all of those things for my whole life, and they just don't stick the way that they stick for other people.
Lacy Estelle [00:06:37]:
So it was at that time that I said, okay. I want a diagnosis. I still didn't know if I wanted to be able to try medication, but I knew that I wanted to at least know what am I dealing with. What am I up against? Now there are a few different ways that you can go about getting a diagnosis. You can go to your primary care doctor if you trust them. Now when your primary care doctor diagnosed you, it's not going to be a super in-depth, you know, testing. They usually will just use 1, maybe 2 tests. They're written out checklist.
Lacy Estelle [00:07:09]:
They'll ask you often to have, like, your spouse or somebody who lives with you to fill out the same questionnaire, and then they will give it to them. And from an outsider's perspective, it helps for you know, because not everybody can be very self reflective. I know I struggle with time. I know I struggle with leaving things in certain places and forgetting that to set them down, all sorts of things along those lines. But there are parts of ADHD that I don't always notice I do. I know I talked, I think, in a previous episode where I talked about how I used to interrupt a lot, and I had no idea how rude it was. And I did not even notice I was doing it. My mother still does it.
Lacy Estelle [00:07:49]:
So one of the things that she does is she will want to tell me something, and it'll be in the middle of where I'm still trying to, like, finish my thought on. And I know I should do it because it's the same reason I used to do it, and he just has to tell me so that the thought doesn't leave her mind. Otherwise, she's apt to forget it. So there are a lot of things like that that you might not realize you're doing. And so when you go to your primary care doctor, they will give you a list for you to fill out, and then often, like, it's at a list for your spouse or somebody close to you to fill out. Maybe you have a roommate or you might have, you know, if you're in college still, you might have a teacher that you're close to or a study buddy, a roommate, anything along those lines. You can even go back to, like, your parents and have them fill it out for you just because of the fact that there are some things on these tests that we'll talk about, like, your childhood. One of the key markers for an ADHD diagnosis, not for something else like trauma or something, that might have happened later in life, is that you started to show symptoms before 12 years old.
Lacy Estelle [00:08:52]:
So that is how you would go about it with, like, a primary care doctor. Oftentimes, sometimes primary care doctors will say, I'm not comfortable diagnosing you. I'm gonna refer you to a neurologist. Or sometimes if you if you are lucky, you'll say, can you refer me to a neuropsychologist or a neuropsychiatrist? And they may or may not know of 1. And I will just tell you because that is a pretty new field when it comes to the medical field, Studying the brain at the same time that you're studying the psychology of the brain, those two education paths didn't actually merge until probably in just, like, the last 20 years. So if they say a neurologist, that's fine. I do strongly recommend that you vet the neurologist that you see. In my area, my doctor had referred me also to a neurologist as well as my son.
Lacy Estelle [00:09:47]:
Actually, I took my son's diagnosis from a neuropsychologist to my primary doctor, said this is what he has. And my primary doctor at that time was like, okay. I want a second opinion. And, send us to a neurologist, and I was like I was really frustrated because when you get diagnostic testing, it's anywhere between 4 to 6 hours. That includes for children. They will tell you that they'll give you a break in the middle. If you're seeking a diagnosis for your child, a lot of times they'll say a parent is required to stay even though that you will not be allowed in the testing room just because they need to have a very clear picture of what the child is capable of by themselves. But if even if it's testing for you, as in adult, after they go through all of your testing, then they will compile it.
Lacy Estelle [00:10:35]:
They'll tell you that it'll take them 4 to 6 weeks, sometimes longer. It just depends on how full of that sort of testing they are. You know, they could say maybe 8 to 12 weeks before you get to come back and go over your diagnosis. And they had they do all sorts of tests all sorts of tests. And you will think to yourself, like, I remember thinking to myself, like, oh, I know what you're trying to test here. No. You have no idea. No idea.
Lacy Estelle [00:10:57]:
I thought one thing was, like, reaction time. It wasn't. It was actually to see how sensitive I am to my environment. And so, yeah, I was extremely sensitive considered extremely sensitive, hence my ADD diagnosis. So that is one of the better ways I would advise anybody out there looking to get a diagnosis is to seek a neuropsychiatrist or a neuropsychologist and ask them if they do testing and what they do testing specifically for. A lot of times these days, those types of tests, you only really hear of them doing them for, like, autism diagnosis. Autism diagnostic testing is a totally separate type of testing. It is along the same lines of neuropsychology testing and things along those lines, but there are specific tests that they have to do for autism that a lot of times the places that are testing for that are not testing for other stuff.
Lacy Estelle [00:11:52]:
So you don't have to fear that if you go for this neuropsychology testing or neuropsychiatry testing, that they're gonna come back and tell you you have you have autism a lot of times even if you do, which, like I said, I think that my one son does, and I have done diagnostic testing for him for ADD, And he was diagnosed ADD and anxiety, but that place specifically could not do and does not do autism diagnosing. So they did tell me so one one of the really wonderful things about getting a diagnosis, and that brings me to one of the other reasons why you may wanna see what good will come from getting a diagnosis. And I guess you could ask yourself the same thing. What bad would come from getting a diagnosis? And that might actually be what you're asking yourself a lot. I remember worrying that I was crazy. I remember worrying that if I went in and I got a diagnosis or if I went in and they did all assessing, were they just gonna come out and be like, you're you have this or you have that? And all of these things that I was fearful that that And so I had to kinda sit with that for a while, and I prayed about it a lot. And I remember kind of asking God, like, you know, if I get this diagnosis, what does that mean for me? Does that mean that I'm crazy? Does that mean and and also, what if it is ADHD? You know, I think for women specifically and and a lot of us, we're we've been conditioned to think that it's just us, that it's just it's just the way we are, that, you know, we're just stupid or lazy or crazy or any of the other things. And so when you when you get a diagnosis or when you are trying to seek a diagnosis, you're kind of thinking to yourself, like, what if it all comes back? And I am just lazy, stupid, and crazy, and there's nothing immediately wrong with me.
Lacy Estelle [00:13:43]:
And not that I think being ADHD or neurodivergent is that there's anything wrong with you. It's just the way that your brain hurt. And I would strongly encourage you to ask yourself that and sit there and actually think about, like, what good would come from a diagnosis and then asking yourself what bad would come from. So there's been quite a few women that I've talked to who, you know, maybe they didn't see the diagnosis until their child started to struggle in school, and their husband, or their spouse, they didn't wanna label their child. And or they a lot of times, they throw, like, 9 times out of 10. They'd be like, I was the same way as a kid, and I was fine. It's like, okay. But you don't remember that being a kid and wanting to be able to do the do the thing that everybody else is trying to do, and you just can't seem to do it, how how much that hurt you, you know, deeply? Like, it really, really wears in your self esteem.
Lacy Estelle [00:14:43]:
Like, really tough, especially as a woman. So I know that there's a large part of you that is thinking to yourself, like, if I'm just nuts, so what? I got to a point to where I sat down and I just said, if I am nuts, I wanna know. I wanna know if it's me. I wanna know if it's a me problem or if it's a everybody else problem. And and not necessarily, like, that those are the only 2 options. It's not a me or an everybody else. But I wanted to know what am I bringing to the table that is not something that is is of value to my relationships, to my career, to my future, to my job, you know, anything along those lines. So that was that was the primary reason.
Lacy Estelle [00:15:27]:
Even after I got my diagnosis and, like I said, after, like, 6, 8, sometimes 12 weeks, they will compile all of the information that they got from your testing for you, and they'll go over it with you. And it's, like, 2 to 4 pages long. And in it, they'll tell you everything that they tested, and they'll tell you where your measurements are. And they also if you have a really great doctor like I did, he will explain to you that none of the IQ testing or the processing or anything along those lines, the it doesn't matter as far as, like, your capability. None of it is telling you that you are not capable of certain things or that you are or you aren't. All it is is just giving you a very, very clear picture as to where you stand, where your weaknesses are specifically in your brain, what you can strengthen, how to strengthen them. Neuropsychologists, usually, their strongest thing is they're not going to immediately say, you know, let's try medication. Oftentimes, they'll give you lots of different exercises and options as far as things you can try to do at home to strengthen the parts of your brain that are lacking.
Lacy Estelle [00:16:33]:
So for me, I got to a point, and I I was an adult, and I said, well, problem for me is this at this point where it's really affecting my my relationships. It's affecting my work. I was late to work all the time. Unfortunately, even taking medication, being late to work was not something that I could fix. So for me, I then took my diagnosis, and I went to my primary care doctor, and I said, this is what I have. This is what I've been diagnosed with, and I would like to try medication for these specific things. And at that time, I got very fortunate that the first combination of medication that my primary doctor offered me worked perfectly well. It does not usually happen that way.
Lacy Estelle [00:17:18]:
And like I said, I have a friend right now who is going through the medication process of trying to figure out what medications work best for her. And, you know, she's going through a time like, a period of time where she's pretty moody, and she's sad, and she's upset, and everything is bothering her. And I told her that, you know, this is, you know, part of it. Unfortunately, sometimes when you're treating true mental illnesses at once, you may have one that seems to, like, be adjusted, but another one is not. And with medication, some ADHD medications are immediate. Stimulant medications are immediate, but they specifically increase your dopamine. And if you have ADHD, but you also have anxiety or your depression or anything along those lines, the medications that treat those generally take longer to see the full effect. So your dopamine might bump up fairly quickly, and then that also might make you kinda cranky and crabby and irritable with people around you.
Lacy Estelle [00:18:20]:
And you have to wait a few weeks to see if the medication for your anxiety and your depression will help level that. And, unfortunately, throughout those weeks, you just kinda have to go through being, you know, not so happy. And is it worth it? I say, yeah. I I say, yes. I think it's totally, totally worth getting the diagnosis.
Lacy Estelle [00:18:40]:
Thank you so much for listening. What would really help me more than anything if you feel inclined is please leave me a 5 star review wherever you listen to podcasts, whether that's Spotify, Podbean, Apple Podcasts, all the like. It really helps for the show to show up for other people that maybe they need to hear it. Thanks again for being here. I appreciate you so much.
