#28: Molly Blakely

When Molly Blakely whipped up her first batch of cookies with a modest $150, little did she know that the sweet scent of success would waft far beyond her kitchen, all the way to the star-studded ceremonies of the Emmys and Grammys, and onto the shelves of Walmart. In our heartfelt chat, Molly, the powerhouse behind Molly B's Cookies, dishes out chunks of wisdom that are as rich and satisfying as her confections. She takes us through the steps of transforming passion into a thriving business empire, stressing the importance of a solid proof of concept, the need for genuine feedback, and the unyielding spirit required to bake your dreams into reality.

But Molly's recipe for success includes an essential and often overlooked ingredient: faith. In a market where compromising values for profit can be the norm, Molly stands firm, even if it means turning down a lucrative TV spot that doesn't align with her beliefs. She shares how her faith is the bedrock of her decision-making process, allowing her to navigate the tightrope of business ethics with grace, and how it's possible to maintain product integrity amidst the pressures of scaling up. Her story is a testament to the extraordinary results that can be achieved when one's spiritual compass and commercial ventures point in the same direction.

As the conversation shifts to the home front, the importance of family and perseverance takes center stage. I share a personal story of my son Josiah, echoing the Chewbacca family mantra of never giving up—an ethos that Molly embodies in her relentless pursuit of her entrepreneurial vision. Moreover, we reflect on setting healthy boundaries, the wisdom in knowing when to push forward and when to gracefully step back, and the courage it takes to simply give it a shot. Molly's journey is not just an entrepreneurial playbook but a narrative rich with life lessons that can be savored by anyone with a dash of ambition and a spoonful of tenacity.

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Transcript

Kelly Tshibaka: 0:08

Welcome back to stand, where the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. I'm your host, Kelly Tshibaka, a former us Senate candidate in Alaska and currently the Alaska state chair for president Donald Trump's campaign, and I'm joined today by my amazing son and co-host, Josiah Tshibaka, who is about to head off to college. Well, we're so excited to have you with us. Please make sure to check out our website, standshoworg. That's where you can become one of our amazing standouts. Catch all of our past stand episodes and join us on our stand team. We'd love to have you stand showorg. You can find us on YouTube and our social media pages as well. Make sure to hit that subscribe button. We've got a fantastic and delicious show for you.

Kelly Tshibaka: 0:55

Today, we're going to be talking with Molly Blakeley. She's the CEO and founder of Molly Bz cookies. You can find her website mollybzcom. M O L L Y B Zcom. I'm going to give you the formal introduction, but I want to tell you why I care.

Kelly Tshibaka: 1:11

I met Molly and started talking with her before her business was famous and got a subscription to her box of cookies and fell in love. Um also put on a lot of weight. It was how we got through COVID. We called them our COVID cookies because they came in the mail faithfully and they got us through a really hard time and they are so amazing. So we're going to tell you the entire story today of how Molly B's cookies became famous. Molly started her business with $150. And now this business has grown from being a little mom kitchen shop, which you're going to see the insider kitchen today and $150, to these cookies now being featured at the Emmys and the Grammys she's talking about or maybe now has the cookies and Walmart across the nation and I can personally tell you these are addictive and unique and featured all over social media. So we are so excited to introduce you to Alaska's own and favorite Molly Bz. We're so excited to have you with us, molly. Thank you for joining us today. What an intro.

Molly Blakeley : 2:13

Thank you so much. Yeah, I remember there was like the first eight months that I was doing sending you your cookies. I was actually driving 45 minutes to deliver them to your door. You personally delivered them to our door.

Kelly Tshibaka: 2:23

I was actually driving 45 minutes to deliver them to your door. The first eight months you personally delivered them to our door.

Molly Blakeley : 2:26

I was personally delivering them to your door for like the first eight months.

Kelly Tshibaka: 2:30

Yes, and we got to exchange hugs. And it's the life of an entrepreneur when you're starting out maintaining those client contacts right.

Molly Blakeley : 2:40

I know it. I know it, yeah, so we want to start out talking to you about that.

Kelly Tshibaka: 2:45

Yeah, yeah, I'm excited.

Josiah Tshibaka: 2:47

I remember you bringing the cookies to our doorstep and meeting you a couple of times and I always wondered what led you to start Molly B's cookies.

Molly Blakeley : 2:57

You know, that's a really good question and it actually is like kind of like my anthem now, like I was owned a really well-known business in a little tiny town in Alaska and the people that bought it fraud me and didn't pay me. It was like an over a million dollar deal and, um, I got down to my last $150 and I had a mortgage and a car payment and I was a single mom and I didn't know what I was going to do. So I started making super weird gourmet cookies and I was doing like 20 boxes a week and then it went to like 45 boxes a day and I had to move production into like a kitchen in a church from me and mixing up my house with my son, who was 10 at the time, and then I started getting help and then we hired one bakery and then two bakeries. I moved to the big city of Anchorage area, you know and started working with bakeries there, and then I ended up having to find out about a cookie factory.

Molly Blakeley : 3:48

I didn't know what I was looking for. I'm thinking in my head I need a Willy Wonka style thing, but I don't know. But it was like as far we just kept growing so fast. I couldn't keep up and so we finally got a co-packer and now I work with eight co-packers and I have a warehouse in Dallas and my co-packers on the East Coast and the West Coast and the Mid Coast and I mean it's all a God thing. It's just unbelievable how quickly it's happened.

Josiah Tshibaka: 4:12

That's truly remarkable. I know it's very hard for businesses to get started, so I mean, that's honestly, it's an American dream story. Right there you have $150, you start off just making something in your kitchen and then, before you know it, you're nationwide. So I'm young and I'm looking to go into business myself. What advice would you have for young entrepreneurs, based on your experiences?

Molly Blakeley : 4:34

Well, to start out, you want to have proof of concept. You want to make sure that you have something that people are going to want. So start with your friends and family and then kind of stalk them. You know, if you have friends and you have to give out a lot of product a lot of product and get feedback and listen to the feedback, don't take it personally. These are people that will be your customers in the future. So definitely listen to what the feedback is and if it's consistent, then you need to look into that. If it's just a one try or one person here or whatever, there are people that get jealous when you start a business and they don't want you to do. Well, there's you have to see. You really have to vet it out. And just number one stay close to the Lord. He will guide you in every single step that you want to take and the most important thing besides the Lord is to make sure to never give up. The ones that don't make it are because they gave up.

Kelly Tshibaka: 5:21

Yeah, we were just talking about that. We'll have to follow up with that when we have our discussion later. So, molly, talking about this proof of concept um, your cookies are unique is a, as a special way of putting it. You don't have normal cookies. So I mean we can get cookies, people can get. Go get regular chocolate chip cookies at the store. Yes, boring chocolate chip cookies. We don't actually buy them, right?

Kelly Tshibaka: 5:44

We, we make cookies at home and we have cookie contests at home, right, and those are not the cookies you make. So what is different? There's a reason why your cookies have taken off from you know hand delivering them to Kelly Tshibaka’s house, to more and more people buying boxes, to now them becoming a store brand name.

Molly Blakeley : 6:07

What's different about your?

Kelly Tshibaka: 6:08

cookies for people who don't know.

Molly Blakeley : 6:11

Well, I mean okay. So our number one seller is called the straight fire and it's our rendition of s'mores. So we have like a big roasted marshmallow on top of it and there's, like you know, graham cracker comes and chocolate chips, but then instead of using vanilla extract, I actually am using a cinnamon, like a hot cinnamon extract. So when you take a bite you're getting this crazy palette of all these things. So people love the big marshmallow on top. That's always a good seller. But we also have some that have double smoked bacon.

Molly Blakeley : 6:38

I have a Rebecca coffee grounds in some cookies. We have one that has white chocolate with sun-dried mangoes and then we roll it in hot Cheeto dust. There's just, and they have fun names like the Hot Mess or Straight Fire, big Joe or the Boss man. They're like really fun names. And I just most recently launched a bag of mini cookies that are, it's like a if a snickerdoodle and a shortbread had a baby and then we added boba to it, it would come the boba doodles. And so we I have a bag of boba doodles now and we have them in eight different flavors. We're launching four right now in two major stores and I actually am flying to Seattle for a meeting with another major store on Tuesday.

Kelly Tshibaka: 7:19

That's amazing. I remember my favorite cookies. I really could not stop eating. Them Were the Earl gray ones. What were those called London?

Molly Blakeley : 7:27

Those are someone. Just two days ago I was on a podcast for another guy and he got his box of cookies. He said it was this is the best cookie I've ever had.

Kelly Tshibaka: 7:36

Absolutely, and, and you can't stop eating them because they go with everything. They're the perfect dessert cookie. They're the perfect mid afternoon cookie. They're the perfect breakfast pastry. They the perfect mid-afternoon cookie. They're the perfect breakfast pastry. They go with everything. Do you remember which was your favorite cookie?

Josiah Tshibaka: 7:49

it had, like this, lemon glaze on top.

Molly Blakeley : 7:52

Oh, yeah, I remember that that's the tea.

Kelly Tshibaka: 7:57

Yeah, that's the tea yeah, really, really good unique cookie. So for people who are listening right now and thinking I want a cookie, mollybzcom.

Kelly Tshibaka: 8:13

M-O-L-L-Y-B-S. com. I didn't want to be Molly B-S. Well, so, speaking of B-S, people who are business owners, people who are entrepreneurs, encounter a lot of B-S, face a lot of trials, maybe hit bumps or even hit failures and setbacks. You talked about one in your previous entrepreneur experience with just hitting a fraudster. What are some of the trials you've hit in, molly BZ? Maybe we talk about one and pick it up after the break. Can you just sort of inspire us with? Hey, it's not like it's all cookies and time with my son over here. This is what actually happened in this journey. That would be great.

Molly Blakeley : 8:51

Yeah Well, a lot of people don't realize, like, just to get from start to finish to like with the Walmart deal, from the first conversation until we're actually in store, is about 15 to 18 months, and so it takes a really long time to do that and there's a lot of stuff in between that has to happen and they might be like we don't like that and drop you and be like nevermind, and so and that has happened to me, you know, and we're like Whoa, what just happened? We I thought we were best friends, you know. And so you have to be on the game, make sure that your team and you have to work in excellence. You have to make sure that everything is the same, like yesterday.

Molly Blakeley : 9:24

All we did was a meeting about UPC numbers and three of us read them off the same ones to each other. Because did you know that stores can find you up to a hundred thousand dollars if you have the wrong UPC number, which is the barcode on the back of your thing? If they get your product and it doesn't scan correctly, they will find you. So there's just things like that that you have to constantly be, but I'd say, the biggest struggle in my business because we are growing so fast. Right now I'm doing seven launches and we've got a H1 coming and it's just getting enough investment to grow as fast as we're growing, because every single launch is a several like $50,000 a launch around there, yeah.

Kelly Tshibaka: 10:03

That makes sense, just finding people who believe enough in the vision and the product to continue to invest in the next stage and the next launch. Yeah, so I'm curious and maybe if you even have a soundbite on this where do you get? Where do you draw on for your perseverance? It sounds like a lot of this is just like you said, not giving up. Where do you draw on your perseverance?

Molly Blakeley : 10:26

It sounds like a lot of this is just like you said, not giving up. Where do you draw on your perseverance? From? A hundred percent Jesus, a hundred percent Jesus. And like I my, I love my church. I go to King's Chapel, eagle River, and it's a spirit-filled church and they will pray for me and pray with me, or they will. They will know and just call me and say like we feel, like you need prayer today, and it's always on time, you know, and so that's where it is. You know, listening for that still small voice.

Molly Blakeley : 10:48

And sometimes, like I got invited to a thing from a major, major TV network and I prayed about it, god said no and I didn't go. But it was a big decision. You know, I wanted to go, my flesh wanted to go, but I knew that they were I found out later aligned with something that I don't believe in. So you know, it was such a protection for my brand, you know. So, definitely, when things get hard, just hit your knees and pray. God will always show up and it won't make sense sometimes right away, but it always does in the long run.

Kelly Tshibaka: 11:16

That's good. So there are people listening right now who need a little dose of that perseverance. We're going to close out this segment. I want to close it out with a prayer for you. I pray that the Lord gives you the perseverance that you need and the wisdom that you need is guiding you, gives you the strength by his spirit for these next decisions, that little voice behind you to tell you that this is the way. Walk in it and the courage to continue to take a stand.

Kelly Tshibaka: 11:39

You're on stand with Kelly and Josiah Tshibaka. Today we're talking to Molly Blakeley with mollybz. cookiescom. We'll pick up on the other side of the break. Hit us up at standshoworg during the break. Hit subscribe. We'll see you in just a minute. Welcome back to Stand. Today you're with Kelly and Josiah Tshibaka, my son, and we are with Molly Blakeley with molly bz cookies, founder and ceo of delicious gourmet cookies. We're so glad to pick up this talk with you so, molly. We talk a lot on stand about taking a stand for faith, for freedom, government by the people. I think freedom really stands a lot in our business world for freedom of our economy and free market system, but we don't just see people taking a stand in the political world, which is often what people talk about, especially with some of the guests that we have. People have to take a stand in all areas of their life, and so I wanted to talk with you about having to take a stand in the face of adversity in this world that you're in, you just kind of referred to it.

Kelly Tshibaka: 12:53

You know having to take a stand about not taking an opportunity with an organization that didn't align with you, but could you share with us some of the decisions that you've made, some experiences that you've had, having to take a stand in the face of adversity as a business owner?

Molly Blakeley : 13:09

You know, everyone knows that, like everything has gotten more expensive. So when I started, butter was $1.99 and now it's $3.49 to $3.99. And so I had to make a decision Am I going to switch to margarine and possibly change the complete integrity of what I've been building this entire time and save the money, or not? And I decided not to, and I didn't raise my prices because I wanted people to be able to still enjoy it. So my margins dropped a little bit, but not a humongous amount, and I really think that that is what has helped me to stand and stay. You know, still like competitive with the other people out there I mean, I'm being compared to with like pricing is like Nabisco and you know that sort of thing. So it's, I wasn't prepared for that or a premium gourmet cookie, so, but that alone is good.

Molly Blakeley : 13:55

And then also having to stand in my integrity of who I am, you know there are things that I don't want to align in that that I'm invited to that are big opportunities that I just say no, thank you, you know. And also I'm really bold about my faith. You know I went to the world food competition a couple of months ago and they invited me there and I brought someone to the Lord right there in the middle of the stadium, you know, and I and I believe in divine appointments and I know that that's part of my purpose here on this world and I won't compromise that. So that's really one of the things that I do take a stand on If people ask me about it. I'm bold.

Kelly Tshibaka: 14:33

I love that about you. You're bold about a lot of things. Like you know, cheetos sauce on cookies. Bold yes, I think going into business takes a lot of boldness.

Josiah Tshibaka: 14:44

Absolutely.

Kelly Tshibaka: 14:45

Yeah, it's a. That's one of the things that's going to make you good at business too. That's what I think. So one of the questions I had and, having gone with you through this journey and, you know, having been in conversations with you when you were first getting your legs up under you kind of those hard stages of the entrepreneurial journey, it really is.

Kelly Tshibaka: 15:03

I believe and Josiah and I have talked about this because he's interested in going into business it's the business owners, whether they're small business owners or small business owners, that become large business owners, or our companies and our corporations that really drive the economic industry of America. But in order to have small businesses and large businesses, you have to have people willing to take the risk and get out there and do that. People who are not comfortable just being employees and saying I'm going to go exchange time for a paycheck and work for someone else, but instead they say I've got an idea. Like you said, I'm going to hustle for capital, I'm going to take a risk and put it out there and then have some exposure and try and create product and add value to the market and the economy and exchange that for something. So you're someone who's out there doing this every day and engaging with other entrepreneurs. So I wanted to ask you what's your take on why more people aren't engaging in the American dream in this way? Why don't they just go for it?

Molly Blakeley : 16:06

Well, I think that they don't have the faith. First of all, because God's going to give you ideas and inventions if you listen to them. But there are a lot. It's fear based. So a lot of people are like how do you do this? How do you know you won't fail? I don't know I won't fail.

Molly Blakeley : 16:20

I failed lots of cookies that I tried to give to people. They're like oh, this is horrible. I'm like it is bad, isn't it? You know, and so you know you just have to, you have to be okay with the bounce back and you have to be really prepared to pivot. But they, you know, if, if something, that a concept that you've come up with, that you absolutely love, that, you feel like it's a divine thing and there's nothing else out there like it, go for it what. There's no one stopping you except for you.

Molly Blakeley : 16:45

Stop limiting yourself to maybe they won't like it, maybe they will, or whatever you don't need to sell to the whole world. There are people that just want indulgent cookies. The people that are gluten-free are not my customers. You know what I mean. I'm just going for the ones like me that want something really delicious and naughty. And there's enough of people 8 billion people in the world. There are going to people that love what you're coming up with. So you have to just cling to that and know and I always talk about the peach thing and remember this because it's really important you could be the juiciest peach, the most sweet peach, the most beautiful peach in the world, and there are still people that just don't like peaches. So don't take it personally. If they don't like your stuff, just be like they don't like peaches and move on and just know that. Don't get defensive. Be open and always be kind.

Josiah Tshibaka: 17:30

Those are some wonderful, wonderful observations.

Molly Blakeley : 17:36

I've heard the peach one before, and it's true, some people just don't like peaches.

Josiah Tshibaka: 17:38

It's unfortunate, but for the people that do like peaches and the people that do like Molly B's cookies, how do you want your business to impact and change their lives?

Molly Blakeley : 17:48

Their lives. Well, I wanted to bring them joy. I want them to have an experience that just makes them happy. I have scripture on all of my packaging, so and I just put the little address so they have to look it up, because I want people to have to be tangible and see what is this, why is this? This here, you know, and I'm I love that. But also I have a bunch of silly dad jokes on the back of all my boba doodles and it says to do a silly fun dance in order to eat them and you have a better experience. I just want people to have joy. I want them to get them. I want them to learn my story and be inspired to. You know, mary Kay started her business at 45. Kfc started at 59. I was 45 when I had to start. Completely over, it's doable. You'll never, ever, ever too old. You're not just start right now, see.

Josiah Tshibaka: 18:30

So that's not too old, you're not.

Kelly Tshibaka: 18:34

I just want to bring out some family laundry right now. I haven't even started yet. I'm not even at my prime entrepreneurial starting age yet.

Josiah Tshibaka: 18:43

I'm very where all this is coming from.

Kelly Tshibaka: 18:47

That's Molly.

Molly Blakeley : 18:52

You're never too old, absolutely.

Kelly Tshibaka: 18:56

Just so glad that you shared that with my high school son, Molly. That was just a lot of wisdom coming from a woman of experience.

Molly Blakeley : 19:02

Look at him. He's like I didn't come to see mom.

Kelly Tshibaka: 19:05

That mom hasn't even reached her prime.

Josiah Tshibaka: 19:10

You're not even close to entrepreneurial age, yet I agree, you haven't reached your prime entrepreneurial age. I'm not sure why we're acting as if I've said anything about my age.

Kelly Tshibaka: 19:21

You're talking trash About my age.

Josiah Tshibaka: 19:24

I literally have no idea where this is coming from. My life is over. She's ended me. Mrs Molly, what are your dreams for the future?

Molly Blakeley : 19:31

because I have none so my dreams for the future are I want to exit in two years 2027 um, consistent with other people who have exited at the same pace that I'm growing right now. Um, there was a candy company that just recently exited at 360 million. There was another one pretzel company that exited at 1.1 billion. So that's my plan. I want to exit. All my investors will be very happy.

Molly Blakeley : 19:59

And then I plan on making and I started a nonprofit called the Blakeley Foundation that is helping kids out of foster care that are just lost, cause some of them, when they get out of foster care, people will just beat them on the street. So, like, there you go, best of luck to you. And it's teaching them how to do every single possible part of the restaurant business. So it's called Entry Level Academy. It's already been approved by the state of Alaska as a second post-educational program and we're starting it. So I want to grow that educational program and we're starting it. So I want to grow that. I want it to be national and I want to help kids that just need a little help and motivation and know that they're loved and that they can do anything. So that that's where my heart is. That and helping women that are like single moms, like I was all kind of in together with it.

Josiah Tshibaka: 20:46

That's wonderful. We have only a couple minutes left in the segment, so I've got just one last question for you. Okay, what would be your message to all of America If you could say one thing to our entire nation? That's good. What would you say?

Molly Blakeley : 21:00

Remember that we were founded on in God we trust, and don't forget that that's it.

Josiah Tshibaka: 21:07

That's wonderful. Short simple to the point. That's it. That's wonderful short, simple to the point yeah, extremely extremely important for our country, our nation, our future, our success. You are on stand with Kelly and Josiah Tshibaka. This has been an amazing interview with Molly B from Molly B's cookies stay tuned we are going to come back right after the break. We're going to talk about some of that dirty laundry you just aired, because I don't know where that came from so we're uh, we're going to have some family dynamics talking after the break, so come on back and join us.

Josiah Tshibaka: 21:40

Also, make sure that you get a snack. Go to mollybzcookiescom that's m-o-l-l-y-B-Zcom. Get your cookies. Come back after the break, stand firm, stand by. We'll see you soon.

Kelly Tshibaka: 22:05

Welcome back to Stand. You're with Kelly and Josiah Tshibaka today. We just had a great discussion with Molly Blakeley of molly bz cookies. You can find her at mollybzcom I was really busy busy. Thank you, Josiah. I was really inspired by how molly was talking about perseverance and not giving up, and it reminded me of a conversation that you and I were having earlier this week about how important it is, as a family value of ours, to never give up. Do you remember that conversation?

Josiah Tshibaka: 22:41

That one I do remember.

Kelly Tshibaka: 22:43

yes, Well then, I'm glad that more than one of us is not having memory issues anymore. So I remember a conversation kind of centered around one of your friends sort of wanting to kind of feel out what the process was to become a member of our family, Like how do you get adopted into the Tshibaka family? And you were running through family values. So tell us that story.

Josiah Tshibaka: 23:11

Yeah. So I was talking with one of my friends. He's 17, but he's younger than me, so I'm going to turn 18 before he does. We'll just give him a shout out. His name's Josh Pak. He's a great guy, um, and so I was joking around about how I was going to adopt him and his younger brother, David. David's like 13 and they're just, we're friends, we're all, we're all in the friend group. They're great guys.

Josiah Tshibaka: 23:34

And I was like I'm gonna turn 18. I'm gonna adopt you guys and you're gonna be Tshibakas. And I said but you know, being being a Tshibaka is more than a name. And I told them you know, when you're Tshibaka, you become two things. You got to have two core, integral values. I told them number one is Tshibakas never give up. Number two is Tshibakas never lose. And so I explained to them Tshibakas never give up. That's pretty simple and easy. I remember when I was like three and I told you like I wanted to give up or I was gonna quit, something like. And it was something super stupid. It was like I was like playing like lego batman on the wii and like couldn't figure out one of the levels, and so I was like I quit as in like I'm gonna go do something else now. I'm gonna come back and try and figure this level out later.

Kelly Tshibaka: 24:30

And you were like no, Tshibakas, never quit the only mom ever who says you have to play video games. Yeah right.

Josiah Tshibaka: 24:38

Like no, Tshibakas never give up. And for some, for me, for some reason, that just really stuck with me and I just remember you really hammered that into Denali and I just growing up throughout, like our whole childhood, like Tshibakas never give up, Tshibakas never, Tshibakas never quit, quit's not in your vocabulary, you don't get to quit, keep going at it, keep it so. Like there's this. I don't know if you know this meme, but there's this meme where you're talking to me like I don't know what a meme is.

Kelly Tshibaka: 25:03

No, is that like a mom?

Josiah Tshibaka: 25:05

no, I don't know if you know this meme oh, thank you it's a it's. This guy goes never back down, never what. You ever heard that? No yeah, she didn't know that meme.

Kelly Tshibaka: 25:15

So yeah, so the guy goes never back down, never what.

Josiah Tshibaka: 25:19

And the team goes never give up. And so it's like you know, the team like doesn't want to do it. But then the one guy's just like super intense, never back down, never why. And I'm like and that's 100% me, because, like for me, like it's not a joke, like for me, like I go to my friends and I'm like y'all never back down, never won. They're like that's not even funny, bro, and I'm like no, say it, like never give up. So I told them listen, you can't give up. Tshibakas, Tshibakas, don't quit. It's that value of perseverance and resilience and I would say it's the thing that's made me most successful thus far. Easily is just learning how to not give up, cause you know, like they don't give, they don't give PhDs to the smartest students.

Kelly Tshibaka: 26:06

They give them to the most stubborn. It's like can you sit in your seat? Perseverance and stubbornness are actually the same value. It's the same size of two sides of the same coin. Yeah, that's right.

Josiah Tshibaka: 26:17

Yeah, and then Tshibakas never lose. I told them like, look, your mindset's got to be you know, we don't. We don't always win. So I don't want people to hear me wrong Tshibakas don't always win, but we never lose, because winning isn't always up to you. It's not always your choice to win, but you are the only person who can choose to lose.

Molly Blakeley : 26:38

Losing is a choice. That's a good point.

Josiah Tshibaka: 26:42

Losing is, quite frankly, I gave up. I didn't stick with it, I didn't put my best in, I lost. There's something wrong with me. This one's on me.

Kelly Tshibaka: 26:55

Winning is listen the other person was just better and I just got to improve, or hey, like I ran out of time, I ran out of time.

Josiah Tshibaka: 26:57

Things didn't shake out the way I thought they would. That's totally fine, but you don't ever lose and it's like I remember, like playing soccer growing up as a kid, and I remember, remember the most embarrassing thing was because we lost almost every single soccer game, regardless of which team I was on. And almost every single game. Soccer coaches can be so mean, sometimes it's funny. But they would come up to us and they'd be like y'all, that team was hot trash, they did not win.

Molly Blakeley : 27:25

Y'all lost.

Josiah Tshibaka: 27:27

Y'all lost that game. That team didn't win, you guys lost. Y'all lost that game. That team didn't win, you guys lost. And so it's this difference between not losing it's not the same thing as always winning. You can't always win, but you can never lose. You can choose to not lose, exactly.

Kelly Tshibaka: 27:44

I like your sports metaphor because that's where I learned it. So I grew up playing competitive softball and at one point was on our team that led Alaska to nationals for softball. I think I was 11 and your grandma would often give me feedback, and she was a tough coach. Like you said, soccer coaches aren't always nice. Grandma wasn't always nice, but she was a good coach and she would give me feedback just along those lines that that team didn't win. You lost right, which isn't a reflection on how the score came out.

Kelly Tshibaka: 28:20

It's a reflection on how you played the game exactly so you can come up short on score, but play a winning game like you. You left it all on the field you played your heart out.

Kelly Tshibaka: 28:29

You played your best, but they outplayed Like you. You left it all on the field. You played your heart out. You played your best, but they outplayed you, which means that you just played up. So she would intentionally put me on the field with players that were a lot better than me so that I would have to play up, and so I often, you know, got outscored, got outpitched. Somebody would outbat me, but I would. My skills would get better and better so that when I then played with the girls my age I was much better than them, because I was always in a situation, if you will, where I was being outplayed but I wasn't losing, because I would just remember what she was coaching me.

Kelly Tshibaka: 29:06

She's like I'm intentionally putting you in way above your level. Don't let the score or how, how the count is coming out, get into your head. It's a mindset, and instead remember that you're here to play up, Like you're here to increase your level. Then, when you get into your own league level, you're going to be much better because you've been hitting balls that are being pitched faster, people are throwing faster, people are running faster, so you have to play at that level. It's a mindset shift.

Josiah Tshibaka: 29:35

Right, yeah, you only lose when you give up. I would say, if I were to put a definition on it for our audience, I would say losing is the act of willingly and intentionally seeding victory. And intentionally seeding victory, it's allowing the other person to win, giving it over in order to not lose. It's just that. Stick with it.

Josiah Tshibaka: 30:01

I'm not going to give up. I'm going to keep playing. I mean it's happened to me before. I mean we were doing a event in this building that we're in with the studio right now, where I was on a team and we had to do this like super intense, like two hour long scavenger hunt, relay race thing, and about halfway through it looked like our team wasn't going to make, it looked like we weren't going to win, we had messed up and all the other guys on my team wanted to quit and give up and I said no never give up.

Josiah Tshibaka: 30:30

I said, never back down never what and and and guess who ended up winning that?

Kelly Tshibaka: 30:36

another team. No, our, our team ended up winning.

Josiah Tshibaka: 30:39

We ended up winning because we didn't, we didn't concede the victory. So it's a lot of people, I think, will try to really shame you for being persevering. A lot of people will tell you you know it's over, give up. What are you doing? You're foolish, you can't win, you're being stupid, like, and they will really come after you and I would say that's just part of that's just part of that mental game. Part of that mental game is you know, even if they're right, even if they're right, I don't care, because I know if I give up, if I concede defeat, if I let the other people win, then I definitely lose.

Josiah Tshibaka: 31:21

But, as long as I hang in there there's there's even the slightest chance that I might win, and I'll take that.

Kelly Tshibaka: 31:30

I had a mentor tell me something similar early in my career which I thought was really valuable and helped shape this mentality.

Kelly Tshibaka: 31:38

He had said part of the victory in finishing well, so finishing your career well, finishing your performance well, any job, anything is just choosing to not quit.

Kelly Tshibaka: 31:52

If you look around at any career field, whether it doesn't matter what it is, you see this major dip off in people in the middle age sector of their career. And he said it's because people just choose to opt out, they choose to quit, and so we see a falling off of subject matter experts and industry leaders, mentors, people who can lead and pave the way, because people quit and they opt out. And he said the only person who can make that choice fundamentally is you and the people who, if you go and you ask really successful people, the champions, the people who make the biggest difference, have the biggest influence. They'll say exactly what Molly said, exactly what you're saying I just chose to not quit. It's just a daily choice to not give in to discouragement, to despair, to the cacophony of mediocrity around you, saying come, be like us, keep your head down, and it's said to continue to persevere and blaze forward. Now I'll tell you. It also comes with a weakness which is you never quit.

Josiah Tshibaka: 32:56

Yeah, that sucks yeah.

Kelly Tshibaka: 32:59

And so we can pick up that discussion on the other side of the break. But this is, I think, a huge part of what it means to stand, and we wanted to encourage our audience with that. Today. You're listening to stand. You're on the show today with Kelly and Josiah Tshibaka, who's heading off to college and hit us up at standshoworg while you're on the break. Make sure to hit subscribe. Become one of our standouts. We'd love to have you join us and we'll see you on the other side of this break. Welcome back to Stand. You're with Kelly Tshibaka and Josiah Tshibaka today. We were talking about the courage it takes to take a stand with perseverance and to never give up, and so we were just mentioning that sometimes we found that taking a stand and not giving up has its downsides. That one of the good things is you don't give up, you persevere. You're the only one who can take yourself out. I love the Minio song about that. What is it? You can't?

Josiah Tshibaka: 34:07

stop me, I don't know what you're on.

Kelly Tshibaka: 34:09

Yeah, you can't stop me. I love that song.

Josiah Tshibaka: 34:11

Okay.

Kelly Tshibaka: 34:11

That the only person who can stop me is me is what he says in that song which I love.

Josiah Tshibaka: 34:17

My biggest enemy is me.

Kelly Tshibaka: 34:24

Right, and even I can't stop me yeah, so the only person who can get him to quit is him. Yeah, and he basically talks about this principle that we're we're talking about. I love that and for the people who are in this mentality, this perseverance mentality, one of the hard things, I think one of the weak things, the weaknesses that comes with this mentality, is you don't quit. And there may be times when it is good to quit, like I have found sometimes so you'll hear me out Sometimes it was probably better to end that unhealthy relationship a little sooner instead of holding on to it until it really needed to be ended. So just to put out there that there are times that I have found that my never give up, never quit mentality has had some limits and I've learned to draw better boundaries through time.

Josiah Tshibaka: 35:15

Okay, are you hearing me?

Kelly Tshibaka: 35:16

Okay. So I've learned that this strength also can be a weakness, and have had to balance it with healthy boundaries. So drawing uh, it's still, I think, one of our strongest values and what has given us a above average or extraordinary level of courage and ability to accomplish goals and victories, and it also needs to be balanced with healthy boundaries around decision making or family. Or like, for example, never give up on starting my business could turn me into a workaholic that sacrifices family time. So it's the balance of never give up plus healthy boundaries that leads to success. Does that make sense?

Josiah Tshibaka: 36:04

It does and I would say, obviously common sense with what you never give up on. I would say, for me it really comes from the mentality of you know, am I giving up on this thing, or is it already dead, know? Sure that's a good point you can't give up on dead things, and so like something I would kind of relate it to is the stock market. So like day trading, please don't apply. Your never give up to a stock.

Kelly Tshibaka: 36:29

That's just plummeting. Bad money after bad money.

Josiah Tshibaka: 36:32

You just keep on like.

Kelly Tshibaka: 36:35

Yeah, that doesn't work with.

Josiah Tshibaka: 36:36

You're not giving up. You're realigning, rethinking your goals and purposes and coming at things from a new angle and then accepting reality.

Kelly Tshibaka: 36:46

Correct. That's a really good way of applying it. Yeah yeah, you were talking to me about Bon Jovi.

Josiah Tshibaka: 36:53

I was talking to you about Bon Jovi. I was hoping that you would just let me go into that. You were talking to me about Bon Jovi. I was talking to you about Bon Jovi.

Kelly Tshibaka: 36:57

I was hoping that you would just let me go into that. So I think it's interesting that you're throwing back to somebody who is famous in my generation.

Josiah Tshibaka: 37:02

He's still famous. He is still famous. All the kids know him.

Kelly Tshibaka: 37:05

All the kids.

Josiah Tshibaka: 37:08

He's a meme.

Kelly Tshibaka: 37:09

Oh, he's a. What's a meme?

Josiah Tshibaka: 37:11

So my eighth grade guitar teacher, his daughter she was in, I think, like third grade at the time. She knew the words to living on a prayer. When it came on, she knew. She knew the scream part. You know the.

Kelly Tshibaka: 37:25

We're halfway there y'all know the song yeah I could join you. But yeah you could. Then that would become a meme we would blow out their mics.

Josiah Tshibaka: 37:30

So we respect your ears. So I was just thinking that song's super powerful because you know, know it's about Johnny and Gina. You know, johnny's got a six string heart and he and Gina are trying to make it and they have each other and that's a lot and they choose to give it a shot and then, right as soon as they choose to give it a shot, they're halfway there, they're already halfway to their goals.

Kelly Tshibaka: 37:54

Hey, profound point.

Josiah Tshibaka: 37:55

You know and for me that's like that's really actually super true half of the battle in getting anything done ever is just giving it a shot and not choosing, not choosing to go for it just choosing to go for it, choosing to stand up and then making that the firm decision, so you're not going to sit down. And then the other 50% is just all the all the other stuff.

Kelly Tshibaka: 38:20

Well, the hard work and I think I think Molly actually said it really well A lot of faith, yeah, putting, putting a lot of faith work behind it, yeah.

Josiah Tshibaka: 38:28

Exactly, and so I think that just was super applicable, and it reminded me of this uncle we have, so're a mixed family, which means we're black, which means we call people auntie and uncle who aren't actually blood yeah, we have a lot of love we have a lot of love and one of my uncles is dad's really close friend and he's like one of the top eye surgeons in the country.

Josiah Tshibaka: 38:53

right, you know the guy I'm talking about and I just got to thinking, you know, I wonder what kind of grades he got in school to become the top eye doctor in his country. And I was thinking about like the med track in college. And you know, like if you're going to college, people tell you get good grades in high school. Once you go to college, d's get degrees. You know you get your degree. You get a D, that's fine, take the D, unless you're going into like med or law, in which case you need A's in college. But then once you get to med school or once you get to law school, d's get degrees right. So there's this idea that you know get A's for when it matters and then once you get into the thing you want to go into, your D's get your degrees. And I was thinking, you know, I wonder if that was his mentality.

Kelly Tshibaka: 39:42

No.

Josiah Tshibaka: 39:42

Because I don't think you get to be the top doctor in your field with that mentality.

Josiah Tshibaka: 39:54

You see, I think that he got A's in high school and then got A's in college and then got A's in med right. And then once he got out of med school and once he was doing his residencies, he got A's in his residencies. And so I think it's, if you really want to be successful, follow this guy's example. Don't fall for that D's get degrees Like that is mediocre standard level. Those are the people who will also tell you why haven't you given up yet? Just give up, and it's not that mentality that will carry you through the fires and the storms that you're going to have to face if you stand for what you believe in.

Josiah Tshibaka: 40:27

So he kind of really inspired me in that regard and it also really reminded me of my hunting trip. And it also really reminded me of my hunting trip. So for me I would say that was easily the number one way I learned perseverance, because it was over the course of two summers we'd gone hunting. The one summer didn't get anything, and then we'd gone on four other hunts and every single time it was just nothing, nothing, nothing. And these weren't easy hunts. Like we were walking miles and miles and miles.

Josiah Tshibaka: 41:01

It was all on foot in mountains, in mountains, horrible, horrible experience, and on our horrible weather, horrible weather and on our last hunt we walked 50 miles in this area and we don't even see anything. And that was before we got to the place where we were even going to go get something.

Kelly Tshibaka: 41:19

You're exaggerating a little. You saw a lot of bugs.

Josiah Tshibaka: 41:22

We didn't know it was horrible. It was so bad. It was so bad and I wanted to quit because we were. We were coming down the second day and the trail was so horrible and we knew it was a 17 mile hike back out. And we was a 17 mile hike back out and we were just like we haven't seen a single thing. We're heading home and I wanted to give up and I was just like I'm done hunting, like I'm never doing this, like who the heck does this? This is why, why and I'm sitting there and I'm looking at the lights in the city way off in the distance. I'm thinking about all those people sitting down on their sofas drinking milkshakes and I'm like going to grocery stores be that guy like what the heck am I doing out here, living in hell?

Josiah Tshibaka: 42:01

and thankfully the guys that were with me kind of were like no, don't give up. So then we hiked out the next day and I was just like you know what? I'm not ready. I'm not ready to give up yet. So I said let's go to an entirely different area where we already have experienced nothing but failure before, and we walked another 20 miles and we got an animal.

Josiah Tshibaka: 42:26

That was my first animal, and that was so profound to me that you just don't give up, even when no one like no. If we had come back after those three days, no one would have blamed us. Like we had walked 50 miles. It was one of the hottest summers on record up here. It was terrible. No one would have blamed us. The other guy who was with us tapped out, but we didn't give up.

Kelly Tshibaka: 42:48

And then guess who came home with the guts and the glory right, that's absolutely right, which could be a bon jovi song Guts and Glory. But to your point, not giving up leads to these really great experiences. But the other part that I take from your story about the doctor is it's also pursuing excellence. It's doing it well, it's doing it with the right attitude. It's not doing it with the pitiful, resentful, you know shoulder slumped attitude. Well, I guess I'm not giving up today because I don't know that it.

Josiah Tshibaka: 43:23

Because if you do it with that attitude, that's called losing.

Kelly Tshibaka: 43:26

I think that that's right and I also don't know that you would have, for example, gotten the animal. I don't know that you would have been successful. But also, there's such an important value in understanding that we are made for a purpose and not like a one time purpose, like at some point in your later years of life. You know chance encounters, that you know accidentally, but in fact that we are designed for an impact and influence on people's lives, to inspire, to impact.

Kelly Tshibaka: 44:06

I really liked that question. You asked Molly what's your, what do you want your business, how do you want it to impact and affect people? Because we have a choice in those daily influences and impacts and we have a purpose for being here and I believe that it has to do with our interactions and our influence with other people, that we're here to help and to encourage, to lift, to strengthen, to comfort other people around us. So part of not giving up, part of even acquiring these stories that a story that happens in your perseverance and when nobody's watching is for the purpose of encouraging and strengthening and helping others, to not give up, so that you can share those stories and so that we can live out that purpose with other people. And I think that's part of why we do things excellently as well. We don't live out our purpose with a half heart and a half attitude and you know, kind of slop it together Purpose isn't sloppy Right.

Kelly Tshibaka: 45:01

That's a good point. So this is Stand. You've been with Kelly and Josiah Tshibaka. We're so glad that you are with us today. Pray that you have the courage to stand strong, to persevere, to never give up and to do all things with excellence and purpose. Catch us on our next episode next week. All of our episodes are at stanshoworg. Make sure to hit subscribe and follow us on social media and we'll see you next time. Thanks for being one of our Stands Outs.