Who'd have thought that a game of picking a suitor could lead to such hilarity? Join me and the ever-charming "phone contestant" Olivia as we navigate through a batch of color-coded contenders, with guest co-host, JP's commentary so vivid you'd think you're right there with us. There's a whole palette of potential partners, from the elephantine to the ant-eatery, and we're not shy about expressing our opinions. Brace yourself for technical hiccups, sound check shenanigans, and a healthy dose of British witticisms that'll have you chuckling along with us.
Ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes of "Naked Attraction"? Well, consider this your all-access pass to the cheekiest critique session you've ever heard. Mr. Green and his tattoos? Check. Farmer's tans and personal grooming faux pas? Double-check. I'll give you the lowdown on the aesthetics that make or break a skater boy's chances, and Olivia's reactions are the candied cherry on this comedic sundae. Trust me, you'll never look at chain restaurants—or contestants' tattoos—the same way again.
As we round off our revelries, we don't just leave you with a winner; we leave you with an entire spectrum of laughs and gasps. From the trials and tribulations of trying to stream our favorite British shows overseas to the quirky insights of dining experiences, this episode isn't just about selection; it's about reflection. So, whether you're an Applebee's aficionado or a Shoney's skeptic, pull up a chair and join the fun. Co-hosts JP, Jared and I are dishing out more than just commentary to our freined on the phone, Olivia—we're serving a full course of unforgettable podcast moments.
Who'd have thought that a game of picking a suitor could lead to such hilarity? Join me and the ever-charming "phone contestant" Olivia as we navigate through a batch of color-coded contenders, with guest co-host, JP's commentary so vivid you'd think you're right there with us. There's a whole palette of potential partners, from the elephantine to the ant-eatery, and we're not shy about expressing our opinions. Brace yourself for technical hiccups, sound check shenanigans, and a healthy dose of British witticisms that'll have you chuckling along with us.
Ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes of "Naked Attraction"? Well, consider this your all-access pass to the cheekiest critique session you've ever heard. Mr. Green and his tattoos? Check. Farmer's tans and personal grooming faux pas? Double-check. I'll give you the lowdown on the aesthetics that make or break a skater boy's chances, and Olivia's reactions are the candied cherry on this comedic sundae. Trust me, you'll never look at chain restaurants—or contestants' tattoos—the same way again.
As we round off our revelries, we don't just leave you with a winner; we leave you with an entire spectrum of laughs and gasps. From the trials and tribulations of trying to stream our favorite British shows overseas to the quirky insights of dining experiences, this episode isn't just about selection; it's about reflection. So, whether you're an Applebee's aficionado or a Shoney's skeptic, pull up a chair and join the fun. Co-hosts JP, Jared and I are dishing out more than just commentary to our freined on the phone, Olivia—we're serving a full course of unforgettable podcast moments.
Speaker 1:
what the hello is this, olivia?
Speaker 2:
how's it going?
Speaker 1:
what's up? This is okay. Well, you, you are here with uh, jp, jared and the minx and I on not the press and um, we're going to go through this uh little thing I talked to you about earlier. You're going to pick a dude based off of um jp's description all right, I can't wait.
Speaker 1:
Yes, it's going to be amazing. I'm sure there's going to be lots of elephant trunks in there and it's going to be awesome. And I'm going to go ahead and play the video and, Olivia, feel free to ask as many questions as you want for information, and the video is going to start here in about five seconds.
Speaker 3:
Oh shit, where's my video at yeah, you fucked this up already.
Speaker 1:
I fucked it up, son of a bitch. There you go no way, is it there? There, it is Okay. Yep, I understand and I wish to proceed In front of you you have six colored pods.
Speaker 2:
What the fuck?
Speaker 3:
It's a really good show.
Speaker 2:
Inside, each and every one of them is a totally naked man, just for you, okay. Each of them has an attribute that you have said you find attractive.
Speaker 1:
Oh my gosh, that guy looks like an anteater. That's what I just said.
Speaker 2:
You need to whittle them down from six to one. All right, get rid of the anteater right away.
Speaker 4:
It shows British, so I don't know if that's going to be possible.
Speaker 3:
Let's reveal the bottom half of the boys, please.
Speaker 2:
I think we have to talk in British language or British accent.
Speaker 3:
All right, you start. You don't want to look, it's a cock. Oh wait, wait, wait. Why?
Speaker 1:
Because they're not like cut, here we go, here we go, oh, oh, oh, oh there's a whole bunch of anteaters out there. Nope, nope, you're not getting any maximizing on my TV, dude.
Speaker 4:
What are you worried? Oh my.
Speaker 3:
God dude, holy jeez, One circumcised guy.
Speaker 4:
He had a big Okay, all right.
Speaker 1:
So, olivia, we've got the colors green, pink, red, yellow, blue and orange, and JP go ahead and describe, without me zooming in, because I do not have wait a minute, I can do full screen.
Speaker 3:
Yes, you can Please. Goddamn, I have PRK, there we go.
Speaker 1:
Alright, so, olivia, what color would you like to start with?
Speaker 3:
She can't remember the fucking colors.
Speaker 1:
Green.
Speaker 3:
Pink.
Speaker 1:
So, minx, can you turn up Olivia's? So on the Bluetooth, there we go, olivia, give us another sound check. I said pink. Yes, there we go, olivia, give us another sound check I said pink yes, there we go. Okay so, JP, if you can go ahead and start describing from the feet up pink.
Speaker 3:
All right, so this is more purple than pink, but you can't see this, so it's fine. But these are colorblind people, right? Not that I know anything about color, but I did pay a stylist once to help me decorate my house, so I feel like I'm ahead of these motherfuckers. So okay. So this guy? He doesn't have any tattoos at all. Wait, wait, wait.
Speaker 1:
Hold on for one second Dude. We need some theme music for this. No, we don't.
Speaker 3:
Go ahead, let's play Enigma.
Speaker 1:
There you go, there you go, there you go. Okay so there you go. We need some Enigma on this.
Speaker 3:
He's pretty thin.
Speaker 1:
You got to make it more sensual.
Speaker 3:
He's got kind of chicken legs a little bit, but his thighs are proportional. His dick is small but not misproportioned to his body the thing about him that I don't like the most, aside from you know, he could be a little longer in the tooth, if you will. He's got these like creases, like you can tell where his thighs meet his hips. There's this, there's this overlap. It's like a flesh bulb up at the top of his fucking leg on both of them it's you're really not selling this guy, jp.
Speaker 3:
Let's move on to green I don't want to fuck this guy, like I'm not gay, but this this guy would be the last one on the list I would have picked, just based off okay so, so wait a minute now, I'm gonna keep, I'm gonna keep.
Speaker 1:
Uh, I think you turn my sound off, well, Well, she wants green.
Speaker 3:
now Green's a little easier.
Speaker 1:
So, carrie, can you turn my volume up on number one? So I'm going to keep score here. So you don't want pink right now, right?
Speaker 2:
So far no.
Speaker 1:
Okay, no, pink Pink is gone, gone, see it. Wait, wait, wait. I got a sound effect. Carrie, do a sound effect for that Minx sound effect. This shit, go Boom. Oh, that's a horrible sound effect.
Speaker 2:
Come on there we go yeah, that's scary.
Speaker 1:
Okay, jp, so she wants to do green I guess.
Speaker 3:
Sorry, I rolled my eyes a lot there.
Speaker 4:
JP, that was a good one.
Speaker 2:
Nailed it. I feel like we should be in the room with you with blindfolds on.
Speaker 3:
That would make it better.
Speaker 1:
JP, you gotta get closer to the mic it's inside my mouth.
Speaker 3:
I'm sucking it like it's a fucking dick now we're talking JP, just like. Joe Rogan every time. They always say that, oh, you're closer to the mic.
Speaker 1:
Well, it's inside my fucking head how much closer do you want it to be? On that note, let's talk about Green's dick hair. Let's do this.
Speaker 3:
Right Okay.
Speaker 3:
So Mr Green is a little bit more substantial of a person. You can tell that he doesn't shy away from food and exercise, both Like he's a fit guy. Big hands who's talking here Big hands, so he's got big hands. He has tattoos right. So he's got tattoos around his calves. On his right leg there's tattoos on the front. They look like a I don't know. They're okay. They're like a pineapple and some other stuff, which is swingery, which is kind of cool.
Speaker 3:
If you're on the show, it kind of makes sense. Which is swingery, which is kind of cool. If you're on this show, it kind of makes sense. But you know, the other leg has got a few cliche tattoos on it, but they are okay, and his hands also do. But his dick he's got a good dick, like his dick, flaccid, is solid. Now he's uncut, right. So you've got to be into that. But his dick is big enough that even if he's uncut it's probably still going to answer the mail for whatever you need. And he doesn't have those weird creases around his cock either. His balls are distended well enough and his thighs are decent. Now he's got a farmer's tan.
Speaker 1:
Now, wait a minute. Now, what would you say about the vas deferens?
Speaker 3:
That's inside of his fucking testicles.
Speaker 1:
Okay, His fucking testicles. Okay, well, you know. I mean, you're pretty descriptive on this. Yeah, I'm talking about external stuff.
Speaker 3:
I don't know what his ass deference is. He could have had a fucking vasectomy and it's cut in half.
Speaker 1:
I don't know, olivia, do you have any questions about green?
Speaker 3:
Well, I wasn't done, but I guess I am so fine If you don't want to know.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, we're going to keep JP's description. We're going to time this at 30 seconds.
Speaker 3:
Well then, you should have told me that to start, because I might have gone in a different order in how I started. I spent so much time on the fucking tattoos. He doesn't have a bush, but he's neatly trimmed.
Speaker 2:
Okay, hair was the next question. Have you seen his ass?
Speaker 3:
You can't see his ass. If we watch the video longer, they'll spin around. Because I've watched this show, because it's naked attraction. It's a fucking great show but how did?
Speaker 1:
how did I get? I mean honestly like how did I know this already?
Speaker 2:
I called this to Mike Reardon real quick for bringing the show to everybody's attention.
Speaker 3:
Yes, I've watched it as soon as it showed up on HBO max or max or whatever the fuck they're calling it now.
Speaker 1:
Um so, uh, Olivia, what do you think about green? Is there a chance?
Speaker 2:
I'm liking green.
Speaker 1:
Okay, so green.
Speaker 2:
I love a pineapple, can't lie.
Speaker 1:
The crazy pineapple. We're there, okay, so I'm going to give green a little check mark. We'll come back to green and then, jp, can you know if green is in the finals, then we'll come back to them. What's the next color you want to roll with?
Speaker 2:
Purple.
Speaker 1:
There is no purple. You did purple and pink, there's red, yellow, blue and orange.
Speaker 2:
Okay.
Speaker 3:
Red, red. So red has tattoos, but they're minimal. So he's got one on his left calf. It's small, I can't see what it is. His tan lines are pretty Wait wait, wait, hold on, hold on. Jp Is this cutting into my fucking 30 seconds.
Speaker 1:
No, no, it's time out, but, dude, you got to be more sensual about this.
Speaker 3:
How am I supposed to be more sensual? I'm talking about people. I'm not going to fuck.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, but just feel the enigma, feel it.
Speaker 3:
The enigma is distracting.
Speaker 1:
What? Just go with it, dude.
Speaker 3:
She's the one that's got to be turned on, not me, you know you have to turn her on, man, you got to sell it to me, jp.
Speaker 1:
You got to sell it.
Speaker 3:
I'm trying to sell it to you, but I don't know you from Adam. I don't know what you're into. Maybe you like cut dicks.
Speaker 3:
Maybe you don have a fucking dossier here to work with. Look, so I didn't give you my questionnaire before you called. No, he didn't. If he had, this would be a lot easier. I got a voice like an old southern woman, so it's not like I'm gonna make you attracted to me at all. So I have to be careful. You know. I'm just trying to throw out the facts as best I can, based on the quality you're doing a great job you know I can't drop hard R's here.
Speaker 3:
Okay, wait, wait. What fucking color are we on Red? Wait, wait, wait, jp, can I fucking finish?
Speaker 1:
Yes, but you have to do it in a sexy voice. Come on man, I don't have a sexy voice. Dude, just talk slower and use your normal. Just be like whatever that Texas accent You're telling me what?
Speaker 2:
to do? Just Texas Act, just do it.
Speaker 1:
Come on, man Ready, here we go.
Speaker 3:
Now I'm annoyed. He's got tan lines, pretty extreme, from his knees down. He definitely wears too many shorts. From his knees up it's glowing. It's so white. His dick is okay, but his balls are better, right, he's uncut and so it makes his dicks pretty featureless. It's not great. He's got tattoos north of his root on either side of his hip, which is okay. His hips are good, right. So even though his dick isn't exactly David level, right, his hips are good. So he probably still look decent enough when he's fucking.
Speaker 1:
Oh that means time's up.
Speaker 3:
You're making this a lot harder than it would fly solo here.
Speaker 1:
And you know what?
Speaker 3:
Uh look All right, we got you, you have to keep a time limit.
Speaker 1:
Okay, olivia, what are your comments, what are your questions, and are you going to pick red or not?
Speaker 2:
I'm going to put red on the maybe list right now All right.
Speaker 1:
Red's on the maybe. Red's on the maybe.
Speaker 2:
What color do we have left All?
Speaker 1:
right, we got yellow, blue and orange.
Speaker 2:
Let's go blue, okay.
Speaker 3:
All right Okay. I'll try sexy voice for guy here. All right, so blue is a little bit ethnic. You sound the same, you're not playing the fucking game. Hey, hey just do it. Just do it. I know I sound the same. So blue is not the same birth circumstance as the other colors up here, not the same birth circumstance as the other colors up here. He's completely hairless, from his toe tips to everything shown here. He's got really big hands.
Speaker 1:
And he might be Mexican. I'm just saying.
Speaker 3:
I don't think he's Hispanic. I think he's from another continent altogether. If you ask me, Nope.
Speaker 2:
Are we talking India?
Speaker 3:
No, I'm talking. Potentially there's some Caribbean influence in this guy's background. His dick is decent, but it's a little pointy, the head's kind of short and he's got a little bit too much fat above his root and he's got those pretty deep creases around that as a result. So I don't know about his dick, but his body, other than his dick, is pretty good. He looks like he could probably swing it. He's got great balls. He's got big hands. His knees are good. His calves are great.
Speaker 4:
That's why I was saying his head's kind of tiny, it looks like he could squat a dump truck, though that's what I mean.
Speaker 3:
Time's up. He's got a lot of features, but there's some yeah.
Speaker 2:
All right, let's get back to this hairless thing. You're saying he has no hair whatsoever from the way he counts Absolutely zero hair.
Speaker 3:
If he didn't have a dick, you wouldn't be able to tell what his Mexican hairless boom.
Speaker 1:
What is Mexican hairless?
Speaker 3:
Boom. Well, I don't know.
Speaker 1:
I've seen some Mexicans that are pretty no no, no, I'm talking about the Mexican hairless cat. Yeah that's great. They are amazing. They're like Like when you touch a Mexican hairless cat it's like touching an ass.
Speaker 3:
It's weird. I don't want a pet like that. No hair on his legs or anything anywhere, not anywhere, not a one. You can see the light glistening off of them. It's like a fucking vinyl floor.
Speaker 2:
I'm going to put him on the no list.
Speaker 3:
Okay, alright.
Speaker 1:
I appreciate that you like him. I'm just going to say that's a big mistake, big mistake.
Speaker 2:
Is it a huge mistake or just kind of a big mistake?
Speaker 4:
It's an average mistake.
Speaker 2:
No, he's out.
Speaker 3:
It's a weird shape and mistake, there are two men on this fucking page that are decent, and this is not one of them.
Speaker 1:
All right, we're moving to orange and blue is out.
Speaker 2:
Blue is out.
Speaker 1:
Do we have a sound effect that says you suck blue? Okay, yeah, that's a horrible one, but it worked. There we go, that works Okay. We're moving on to orange Olivia, let's do this. Okay, yeah, that's a horrible one, but it worked. There we go, that works Okay we're moving on to Orange.
Speaker 3:
Olivia, let's do this.
Speaker 1:
Okay, orange, wait, wait, wait, Sexy voice.
Speaker 2:
I got a new cocktail and I'm ready to go.
Speaker 1:
Sexy voice.
Speaker 3:
I fucking hate Guy.
Speaker 1:
You love me.
Speaker 3:
Orange is my favorite right, so don't let me be too persuasive here. But Orange has a nice little accent tattoo on his left or right fucking calf.
Speaker 2:
Wait, are you doing orange or yellow?
Speaker 3:
Orange. Okay, Let go of yellow. Orange is good. He's got a nice tattoo on his right fucking calf, and he's got another tattoo on his left knee that looks like brass knuckles and some shit, but it's still kind of nice. But he's got tattoos on his wrists and parts of his hands and above his dick, but they're tasteful, they're kind of cool, they're biker-y, but they're not over the top. His hips are good but he's got great balls and he's got the biggest dick of this whole bunch and he's cut. He's like four and a half feet tall. Can I talk please? He's not four and a half feet tall.
Speaker 2:
He's short.
Speaker 3:
He's probably close to 5'10"-ish, but he's got a great dick.
Speaker 2:
I'm only 5'3".
Speaker 3:
Well, he's got a great cock and he's not huge, like he's not fat. He's fat, he's not skinny, he's athletic, but his proportions, I think, are more dialed in than the other dicks here on this page. Short of green.
Speaker 2:
Not short of green. What's the tattoo above his dick? What's that?
Speaker 3:
The tattoo's above his dick. It's hard to see with the angle.
Speaker 4:
This guy's definitely into skate culture. I'll put it that way yes he is, I don't think he's that bad. Yes he is, I don't think so and he's probably 4'11".
Speaker 3:
Not any worse than Green, but Green and Orange have the best cocks out here on this fucking planet.
Speaker 4:
Green looks like he's been a merchant marine for 20 years. Orange looks like a little boy pretending he's got a huge one.
Speaker 1:
But he's got a hell of an elephant trunk there. I'm just going to say that I mean I don't like judging dicks. But I mean, here I am.
Speaker 4:
It looks like he fluffed it up a little bit.
Speaker 3:
I don't think so, I do. I think that's normal.
Speaker 2:
There was a little vascularity, Alright, so Olivia this is our only cut dick so far, correct?
Speaker 3:
All the other dicks are not cut. This is a European television show, so take that for what you will.
Speaker 1:
But you never know, man, he might like it, he could be.
Speaker 3:
Jewish? That could be the case, because they don't circumcise.
Speaker 1:
Olivia, yay or nay on orange Hello.
Speaker 2:
I'm going to say yay, okay.
Speaker 1:
All right. So right now in the finals, we still have yellow Ooh.
Speaker 4:
Yellow is like the worst of green and orange. It's just like a worse version of them. Here's have yellow. Ooh, yellow's like the worst of green and orange. He's just like a worse version of them. Here's some yellow.
Speaker 3:
Yellow has tattoos on his calves and he has tattoos on his right thigh. A little tattoo on his left thigh. His dick is okay, it's not great. He's uncut. He looks like a ginger. His head is pretty small.
Speaker 1:
I'm pretty sure he's a ginger.
Speaker 3:
There might be a piercing, but it's hard to see from this. And he's got a little bit of hair on his dick. Now I will say about Orange I didn't see a lot of hair there. Now there's some fuzz above his root, so it's clear that he has hair. That's just a shadow.
Speaker 1:
And he's a ginger. May I state that again. How do you know that?
Speaker 3:
orange is a fucking ginger.
Speaker 1:
It's not orange, it's yellow, but I mean Well yellow's probably a ginger.
Speaker 2:
Are you saying his dick is pierced?
Speaker 4:
Yeah, yeah it looks like it.
Speaker 3:
Look, I'm willing to hit the I believe button because they said it, but I'm not seeing any Prince Albert.
Speaker 1:
We're talking about yellow right now, dude yes, albert, or jacob's ladder?
Speaker 2:
it's definitely not a jacob's ladder it's a prince albert, it's a prince albert.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, I don't, I don't know if I believe it, he could just have a really pronounced like opening in the tip of his dick. You know, like you've seen those guys with uncut dicks where the the tip of it is like a crown of flesh that comes out of the tip of their cocks. You've seen those right well, that comes out of the tip of their cocks. You've seen those right Well, that's kind of what he looks like he might have, or it's a PA, I don't know.
Speaker 2:
It's hard to say. Does it look like a hard-rolled?
Speaker 3:
cigar. It does look like one of those cigars that's pointed on the end Exactly yes, you got it. I can't the torpedoes or whatever Turbinado.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, all right, yay or nay on yellow.
Speaker 2:
You guys really didn't sell me on it. I like the idea of the piercing. But other than that, I'm going to say no Okay.
Speaker 1:
So right now, the finalists we have are green, red and orange and we're going to switch over for any of your further questions to Jared on this one. Jared, you are on for green, red and orange. Easy, take it away. Olivia.
Speaker 2:
Me, take it away.
Speaker 1:
Well, you got to ask questions. You got to ask more direct questions about green, red and orange. This is the last round. This is the finalist round.
Speaker 2:
Well, had the curtain not moved all the way up? What about from the hips to the neck?
Speaker 1:
We didn't think you cared about that, so I didn't record any of that. Yeah, we're all waist down. It's basically just the dicks.
Speaker 2:
I didn't think you cared about anything, but they're dicks, got it Well, I just want to know if I'm going to be flattened by any of them. I'm only 5'3", you know.
Speaker 1:
All right, jared, you're on the clock dude for whatever her question is.
Speaker 2:
Okay, let's go, so here.
Speaker 4:
I'll give you a quick rundown of green, red and orange. Can you do it with a sexy voice? I am doing a sexy voice. What the fuck is wrong with you? So green? Like I said, this dude looks like he works on ships and on docks and he moves weight around all day. He looks like a hardy boy, in shape, great shape, and he will fold you up like a pretzel for sure. 100% Nice. He's got a pretty good hammer too. A Bavarian pretzel. How about Red Green? I'm on green right now?
Speaker 3:
Oh yeah, green's good, I'm pro green.
Speaker 4:
Green, I like him. So Red looks like he's a pretender. Like I said, he's got the worst tan lines ever. So we wear shorts all the time, but not like in a labor fashion where he's working with his hands getting dirty, but like he just likes to have have fun with his boys and do stupid shit. Um, like I said just at best case scenario, an average hammer, like more like a little little baby's play toy. So yeah, he's I mean he does got a nice set of plums on him, but he also has got like the weird. I mean I guess they make them take their watch off. He's got a watch tan line and I just. And also his legs are 10 times more tan than his hands and forearms are so weird. Um, I said not bad, but he's okay. And then back to orange. Like I said, this dude is, if you're into the whole skater boy thing. Like I said, he is also short. Like I said, he's probably four foot eleven, but half of that is a hammer I'm this thing.
Speaker 1:
The guy's got a hammerhead on him.
Speaker 4:
Not gonna lie, he does but if you want to be tossed around and have a good time, he's not your dude, but he could probably do it in other ways. So if you're asking me, I would get rid of red, and then it's really between green and orange. Once again you've got a man. Green is a man. If you want to be handled and taken care of, green's your guy. If you're just looking for a really fun, really good experience, orange is probably your guy.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, and it depends. If you're not into uncut dicks, then you need orange. Yes, if you don't care, or if you like uncut dicks, then green's your guy Green's got it.
Speaker 4:
And this is the thing Green's hammer, because he is such a large, well-proportioned man. It might be just as big as the guy who's three foot tall. We don't know.
Speaker 3:
It looks like their dicks are comparable in size. Honestly.
Speaker 4:
Green's thighs are twice the size and half of it's all hammer, so I'm just saying I'm pretty sure Green's hairier than Orange too.
Speaker 3:
Yeah. He orange too yeah, yeah, he does not green, has hair on his calves. He's yeah, no, no no, he's mansplained. I respect that because, like I'm the same way, like at this point. I'm so goddamn hairy. They're either into it or they're not. If they're not into it, then fuck off and don't listen it's not, it's a wonderful.
Speaker 1:
I can't believe we're here like talking about dicks right now. Guys, all right, let's, let's, uh let's put dicks on the fucking.
Speaker 3:
You asked us, are we supposed to talk about? You asked us to talk about dicks.
Speaker 1:
All right, olivia. What's it going to be? Is it going to be red orange or green? I think, we need a drum roll Carrie.
Speaker 2:
Elimination of red.
Speaker 4:
Drum roll it. Red's gone Good, so we're down to red, the man and the little boy, both with adequate equipment.
Speaker 1:
Keep it rolling.
Speaker 4:
Keep it Orange cut green uncut.
Speaker 2:
I just got back from Vegas. From when we were young, I'm a skater boy till I die.
Speaker 4:
Oh, I already know where you're going, All right orange.
Speaker 2:
Going orange.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, All right, you're going to have orange. This guy will not disappoint you. I mean, honestly, I'm pretty sure it's going to be painful, but I'm glad you came to that realization. So I owe you an episode and then you can check the rest of this guy out. Olivia, it's season 11, episode 5. Season 11. Episode 5.
Speaker 2:
Season 11.
Speaker 1:
Episode 5. Do the reveal for us. You explain to us how you feel about your choice with Orange.
Speaker 2:
All right, hold on. We're loading up HBO.
Speaker 4:
Hold, please don't pass it and think about all the sweet kickflips he's going to do on the way out after too.
Speaker 3:
So that's something. All their tattoos look the same. You can't tell one's a skater boy more than the other yes, you can oh you can't, maybe not you pal.
Speaker 1:
Oh man Olivia, I just your picture is amazing.
Speaker 2:
I just can't even imagine. I mean, I really try to look so pretty all the time.
Speaker 1:
All right, Just for people that are actually going to watch this episode. Olivia is much more attractive than that picture.
Speaker 2:
I'm not. I'm not, though I think I've met you. That's what my face looks like.
Speaker 1:
Nope, I never wear makeup. That's what my face looks like.
Speaker 2:
Nope, I never wear makeup. There was no different.
Speaker 1:
face you don't need to wear makeup.
Speaker 2:
Why are our pictures frozen? Let's see Episode season. Okay, while we browse for our season here, wait, hbo only goes up to season six. How the fuck did you get to?
Speaker 1:
You gotta go to YouTube.
Speaker 2:
Oh, up to season six. How the fuck did you get you gotta go to youtube?
Speaker 1:
oh man, you guys did some extensive research which, by the way, um, if anybody wants to watch the not the press youtube channel, there is a channel, just look it up, not the press youtube boom there's nothing on it yet, but there will be, and your face is going to be glued all over it, olivia. Perfect, I'll send more pictures I take really good one.
Speaker 2:
There's nothing on it yet, but there will be, and your face is going to be glued all over it, olivia, perfect, I'll send more pictures I take really good ones.
Speaker 1:
Yep, you got to look it up on YouTube and then it's basically one of the only full episodes on YouTube, and if you try to subscribe to Channel 4 in the UK, you cannot because you don't live in the UK and channel four is the one that has this.
Speaker 2:
You don't know where I live.
Speaker 1:
I know where you live. I'm going to your house on Saturday for a party.
Speaker 2:
Can't wait what does he look? Like. What does he look?
Speaker 1:
like, tell us if you regret your decision.
Speaker 4:
I'm just saying no.
Speaker 2:
Tongue piercing too, guys, I did good.
Speaker 1:
You got a tongue, all right.
Speaker 2:
He's got his tongue pierced and his whatever it's called at the bridge of your nose.
Speaker 1:
Minx, can you give her a round of applause? She obviously picked the right dude for her. Congratulations. You win absolutely nothing.
Speaker 4:
I'm going to take a little credit without giving us any background. I described him, I think, pretty well Was that what you were expecting when I said skater boy.
Speaker 1:
Like Jared, you did a good job on that man. You did. Yeah, I see an anarchy tattoo and upside down, cross JP over here saying you can't tell the difference between job.
Speaker 2:
on that man you did.
Speaker 4:
I see an anarchy tattoo and upside down cross. You can't tell the difference between the tattoos.
Speaker 1:
You can't no, I mean seriously, jared. I think that you are a natural salesman For cock.
Speaker 4:
Yeah.
Speaker 1:
I'm a cock man, that's for sure.
Speaker 2:
You, you cock salesman. You guys are really good cock salesmenman. I'm very happy with my choice.
Speaker 1:
Well, I tried yeah, well, okay, uh, olivia, it was awesome and you know what we will dial in with you the next time we have some kind of crazy contest like this not even really a contest, but I mean it's fun, right all right now open the front door and let us in and let's party. Are you at the house? Yes, we're inside your house. No, no, no, jack would be barking Hell, yeah, where are you? What bar did you guys go? Are you at Jackson's?
Speaker 2:
We went to Jackson's. When we're back home.
Speaker 1:
Oh man, I was hoping you're going to be there and you could put Shane on.
Speaker 2:
It was slam packed and there's no way we wouldn't have been able to hear you.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, you know what Thursday nights are? Just horrible, horrible at Jackson's, horrible Sounds anyways.
Speaker 3:
Carl's bad I'm too good for that anymore. I moved to Old Town. I can't do fucking suburb bars anymore.
Speaker 1:
Listen, listen.
Speaker 3:
here you hoity-toity asshole, I'm going to go when you assholes want to go, because everybody comes to town. Where do we want to go? Oh, we go to the Jacksons.
Speaker 1:
Oh, that reminds, me.
Speaker 2:
Same goddamn place.
Speaker 1:
Do you know what's? Happening on December 2nd.
Speaker 3:
No, apparently I'm doing a goddamn Ragnar race according to you, oh shit.
Speaker 2:
Are you coming?
Speaker 3:
JP, I guess I don't have anything scheduled that day, so I don't see why I can't say yes, yeah, fuck, I'll do it Sure.
Speaker 2:
If I told you what else was happening on December 7th Come over on Saturday and you can meet the team captain.
Speaker 3:
What? This Saturday it's Halloween.
Speaker 1:
Halloween. Halloween is this Saturday Olivia's party, olivia and Cam's party and Tyler's party.
Speaker 3:
I got a bunch of fucking shit this Saturday. I'm doing a shooting course with Andy's people on Saturday.
Speaker 2:
What's at night?
Speaker 4:
You guys going to Applebee's after.
Speaker 2:
When the crazies come out at night. Applebee's.
Speaker 1:
Shut the fuck up. Dad Go back to your suburb home.
Speaker 4:
I mean, if you go to Applebee's I might check it out.
Speaker 3:
Man, yeah, so you can cornhole green behind a dumpster.
Speaker 4:
I'm sorry that you don't appreciate eating good in the neighborhood, fucking loser. Fucking loser.
Speaker 3:
Well, you don't know Applebee's In Ohio. All they have is fucking Shoney's and shit like that.
Speaker 4:
Does it look like? I don't know what Applebee's is brother.
Speaker 3:
It looks like you stick your head inside of a buffet Bingo. Yep Ponderosa.
Speaker 4:
Steakhouse yeah, everyone knows Ponderosa.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, buddy, Cracker Barrel dude.
Speaker 4:
Cracker Barrel. All right, did you get your ARP card, guy? Jesus Not yet but I'm I know.
Speaker 1:
Of course we're close. I'm waiting for that fucking day, dude. Oh, okay, olivia, we're going to cut you off and we're going to break time and we're going to go to the next segment. If we do a next segment, I hope we do. If not, that's okay. And, olivia, thank you.
Speaker 2:
So much. It was a lot of fun.
Speaker 3:
Finding a nice suitor.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, you know, I'm really happy that I know what types of dicks you're into.
Speaker 2:
This will help us.
Speaker 1:
I don't know if it'll help us, but I'm glad we know this.
Speaker 3:
I think it'll help everything. Yeah, thank you for contributing.
Speaker 1:
Hey, tell everybody, tell Tyler and Cam and everybody we said hello.