Ep# 10 No more excuses, analysis paralysis or self-sabotaging!

Ever wondered why midlife can feel like such a rollercoaster, especially for women in their 40s, 50s, and beyond? This episode promises to unravel the societal pressures and internal battles, like self-sabotage and excuses, that often stand in the way of personal progress. Through eye-opening client stories and candid discussions, we spotlight the common tendency to use food as a celebration and connection tool. Our conversations are filled with tough love and practical advice aimed at helping you navigate special occasions without compromising your health goals.

Be inspired by the incredible journey of one of our clients who conquered self-sabotage and lost 60 pounds. Discover the transformative power of a mindset change and learn practical techniques like the countdown method to develop new habits. We also tackle the tricky terrain of peer pressure during social events and offer strategies to maintain your dietary goals. Additionally, we explore the identity struggles women often face post-pregnancy and how these can impact health and self-care routines. This episode is a heartfelt guide to reclaiming your identity and enhancing your well-being during midlife.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

welcome back to episode number 10 of the mid life madness. Everybody loves that name, man. Let me tell you we need this podcast, don't we? Everybody on this earth needs a midlife madness podcast. I think.

Speaker 3: 0:24

I think there's so many different things that we go through some which are spoken about and some which, you know, kind of fly under the radar, but most of us are going through similar things. Yep, um, that I you know. I think we landed on a great name. I know we did a little shift from what we used to do before, but we'd like to have a little bit more fun with it.

Speaker 2: 0:47

Yeah, and we, speaking of fun, we're all trying to gracefully navigate through this midlife madness, which sometimes is not so graceful.

Speaker 3: 0:56

Some days are better than others.

Speaker 1: 0:58

There's so much that is not spoken. You know, know, I think there's a lot of negativity around around. You know menopause and midlife crisis and this and that, but there's things that can be beautiful too, if you do certain things. And so, when we were talking about doing a little pivot with our podcast and our youtube, it only makes sense that the three of us that are going through this midlife madness can just come together and have real raw, freaking conversations about what we're going through and where, what everybody else women like us.

Speaker 1: 1:38

I'm 49 years old you know in the 40s, in the 50s, in the 60s, 30s, right, right, we walked through that too, so we are so excited to bring you guys some awesome content about freaking midlife midlife listen every day.

Speaker 3: 1:58

Every day, it's something new. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and every day is something new, you know um.

Speaker 1: 2:07

So we've, we've discussed, basically the people that come into our office are mostly women, like us, you know um, guys typically come in when their wife drags them in right like that's that, we see that they get a chronic, some kind that chronic disease or chronic disease and then, yeah, yep, but typically it's women just like us that come into our office.

Speaker 3: 2:32

And one of the things that you know we talk about this all the time is, you know, the self-sabotage, the analysis, paralysis, the analysis, paralysis, the I don't yeah, the excuses. And I guess today I want to talk a little bit about, like, what does it take to break down those excuses, you know, for ourselves, for the stuff that we know we need to do and don't love doing it for our listeners? Well, how we help kind of go through some of that stuff in our office, sometimes with tough love, sometimes with laughter and empathy. But you know, whatever it takes to get from point A to point B, because some of the times I'm just completely baffled by the stuff that I hear, and I know you guys are also- yeah, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2: 3:25

I was just telling. I was just telling you guys about the, the nice lady that that came to my office speaking of excuses. She's like I'm going to a birthday party. Is it okay if I have cake? I'm like no, not while you're trying to lose. And she goes what if I cry I want that piece of cake? I said no, it's an excuse, excuse. And it's like, and you really have to think about it. It's like why, why, why do you want to to have that piece of cake and set yourself back?

Speaker 1: 3:53

you know, you know so.

Speaker 2: 3:55

So these are these are the things that we that we like generally guide our clients that come into the office and like reasons why yeah one of the things that we do in the office deeper on, like why do you feel like you have to have that piece of cake?

Speaker 1: 4:13

I had a I had the same scenario, dr donna, in my office with a client and when we had that conversation she was saying that had that conversation, she was saying that they're so used to like celebrations around food. You know, connection with people is around food and and we had a really, really great and deep conversation about that's something that that has been, you know, made by society. But the truth of the matter is you can connect with people without food around. That's true, but that's yeah.

Speaker 2: 4:49

And culturally, like you know, in the Latinos and I'm Italian, you know our whole world revolves around the food and that's what we were.

Speaker 3: 4:59

But I think every culture, I agree, revolves around food. I don't know, you know cause. I have people from all over. You know I'm in central Florida. It's very metropolitan, you know there's there's some of everything and I, there. There's not a single culture of human that has come into my office that doesn't gather around the table, celebrate a holiday, celebrate every food, do a cookout. You know whatever version of that applies to you and you know you have to.

Speaker 3: 5:38

You know something that I tell my clients all the time, because I get this all the time. It's like, you know, you're a grown ass adult. You could have cake when you're done. You don't have to have cake this weekend. You could, you know, you can, you can. You can have this when you're stabilized, when you're at your goal weight, when you are, you know, allowed to take that break. You know. But our programs go in short stints. I mean we, you know we go at most six weeks at a time. We stabilize your body, we go again. You've made this commitment right. This baffles me. You come in An investment, an investment 100%. You come in right Typically by the time that you come into our office. We're not your first time that you've tried something. I mean, how many of your clients that come into your office this is the first time that they've ever thought oh my goodness I'm overweight.

Speaker 2: 6:36

I need to do right, like it's usually a long list of different things that they've tried. Long list. I've tried everything, yeah, so if you're at the point

Speaker 1: 6:46

if you're at the point for our when we were larger and we were doing our journey right yeah, this is everything as well.

Speaker 3: 6:54

It's normal. Yeah, right, but when you've gotten to the point that you're asking for help, then you need to be ready to accept that help and do what you're asked to do. And I'm sure you know primary health providers have the same situation. You know how many patients do doctors have that they're like you need to do this, you need to do that. Oh, that's just hard.

Speaker 2: 7:19

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 7:20

Or I don't have time or.

Speaker 1: 7:23

I think that's where Inspire Weight Loss comes in. Really, what separates Inspire Weight Loss from all the other things that people have tried? Because you know, even though people have tried all these things and they come in and they're you know, you've tried all these things, you're invested on it. Why are you still doing this this? Well, I think that there is a period of time that they haven't had the accountability and support that they needed to break through these cultural habits, to break through, um, low self-esteem, to break through low willpower to, to break through you know, the mental sabotage and mental gymnastics, to break through food addictions and sugar addictions. You know, most of the time people can't do that on their own because you know they're, they're in their head, so they need somebody else to walk them through it and challenge them and ask them the right questions and show them and this and that, and and.

Speaker 1: 8:20

So we're baffled in a very compassionate way at Inspire because we've walked it ourselves as well. Yeah, and we have to make sure that that the client understands that they can do it. Yeah, I can, and they can break through these things, um, and they do I. I just met with a client yesterday that she's lost 60 pounds, the, the I mean talk about. She's like the queen of self-sabotage, queen queen like she. She holds the title everything. It was she because she didn't think she can do it like she didn't have the faith. She didn't have faith that she can.

Speaker 1: 9:03

She had the strength and the power and the ability to break through these things and actually do it, and I had to walk her through it and assure her that she does have the strength, that she can control her thoughts, that she can take a time out and I show her the countdown method to talk herself out of reaching for these things. Separates us from everybody else is that we actually take the time to walk the clients through the excuses of self-sabotaging and the analysis paralysis that our clients experience.

Speaker 2: 9:43

It's it's mindset change too, and and it comes along with how we educate our clients as they go through the program you know the woman I mentioned that wanted the cake. You know, if you give yourself the opportunity to go through the program and learn and educate, your mindset will certainly change. And by the time you get to the part where you're at your goal weight and you're stabilized and you're on maintenance, you know how to manage that. Hey, you know what? I want a piece of cake, but I don't think I'm going to eat the whole thing. I want a bite of it. Taste it. I'm probably going to be satisfied with it.

Speaker 2: 10:26

It's a matter of giving yourself the opportunity, giving yourself that chance. Yes, I know willpower comes in. You know the willpower sometimes can take over. But, like Martha, like you said, you know the willpower sometimes can take over. But, like Martha, like you said, you know, countdown, distract yourself, give yourself a chance to to go through it, go through the feelings. Why do you want it? You know, is it going to make you feel better or worse after? Because most of the time when people go off track, they're like why did I do it?

Speaker 2: 10:58

And then the whole guilt. And then sometimes people go go big or go home. I had that piece of cake, now I'm going to eat the rest of the cake and that that talk about self-sabotage on that you know, and.

Speaker 3: 11:12

I think one of the things that people need to give themselves grace for is that they need to practice. I don't know, Do you guys remember Because I go through this with my clients and we talk about scenarios and we talk about okay, so what will you do if, and what happens if? Right? And I remember when my kids were little and they'd be playing outside and I'd be like if somebody comes up to the gate, what do you do, you know? And they're like I run inside and tell mommy Okay, good, you know, and you, we practiced that right, Because it's a skill learning to say no to excess food, learning to say no to things you know you shouldn't be doing, learning to say no things you know you shouldn't be doing learning to say no, so you need to to an extent peer pressure, and peer pressure is worse as adults.

Speaker 2: 12:04

It's adult.

Speaker 1: 12:05

Yeah, a hundred percent. I'm just going to say that, just because everybody else is drinking, you feel like you have to drink.

Speaker 3: 12:08

Yep, and I was going to say alcohol is the worst for peer pressure. For adults, alcohol is the worst, to the point that I'll you know, I'll tell my clients a lot of times get yourself some seltzer water, put a lemon in it. If somebody asks, tell them you are and that's it. Yeah, nobody, that's your secret, nobody needs to know.

Speaker 2: 12:26

I don't understand that If somebody says, no, I'm not drinking, thank you very much, I don't.

Speaker 3: 12:30

I don't get that, that adult pressure Just one yeah, yeah, it's not going to hurt.

Speaker 2: 12:36

It's low carb. It's low carb, yeah, it's, it's, it's um, it's challenging. We all agree. It's challenging, going to different events and different functions and, much like you, dr Murthy, um, I, I, we talk to our clients like we asked them, they and they'll tell us, I have a wedding coming up. What do I do? And we guide them, we guide them through it. You know, hey, cocktail hour if they have a cocktail hour, hit the veggies. You know, stay away from the rice, don't go to the bar. You know, yeah, stay away, stay away, stay away. You know, I had a woman the other day who did complete opposite and came in for her follow-up and she just happened to get me. I was afraid I was going to get you. She goes. I went to a wedding and she goes. The first place I went was the bar and I got. I had, I drank. I wound up drinking three glasses of wine and then I went right for the rice and I said, oh no.

Speaker 1: 13:35

Not the rice. Yeah, I went right for the rice.

Speaker 2: 13:38

And I said oh no, no, not the rice.

Speaker 1: 13:41

Yeah, we're right for the rice. So I wonder also, like we're talking through like scenarios, of why people operate this way. We identify cultural and different things, but I wonder also too, like when you're a woman and you go through the process of having kids, you know a lot of women lose their identity when they go through, when they go through so much life change, not just physical, but like mental and emotional, and all the things like what?

Speaker 1: 14:13

what do I do with my new body? What do I do with this new baby that's taking over my life? How do I, how do I juggle my husband, my, my baby myself, my career, my housework, and people lose their identity and a lot of times, within that, everything else becomes priority. Right, the kid becomes priority, everything you know, the job becomes priority, becomes priority. The husband, whatever it may be. And so when they finally get to a point like they're like man, I gotta do something about my weight because it's just I don't feel good, I feel, I feel, you know, 90 years old and and I have all this extra weight because of the baby or whatever it may be, and they, they've gone through a postpartum depression. It, you know, it, takes them a minute to like regain their identity. You know, and and and with that it's like self, like your, their value, their strength, their ability to, to shut off, you know, bad noise in their brain, like they have to create that skillset again to be able to think that way.

Speaker 2: 15:23

Yeah, yeah, I, it's, it's. It's interesting that you know we're. We're talking about this just this. This past week I had a client that came in. She came in with her husband. She was like, I want to say she was like 60, 62. She says to me and her husband was so supportive. She says to me I have five children, she goes. One. We had four we adopted. She goes.

Speaker 2: 15:47

I always put them first. I sent them all to private school. They went to college. I worked hard, I paid for everything, and she goes. Now they're all grown, they're out of the house. She goes. And now I look at me and I look in the mirror and I don't recognize who I see. And she says I have lost myself and I have tried and tried and tried and I don't know how to get back on track. Um, and he goes. I want to enjoy my retirement, I want to be there for my grandchildren, I want to go to their recitals and I want to go to their graduations. And she goes. It's time for me. And she said it's going to be a long time to figure it out and to get here. She goes, but I'm here.

Speaker 1: 16:35

And then one thing is saying that, another thing that while you're on the program is taking action, some people figure out that they're not as strong or as ready as they thought they were going to be, and so then we have to deal with that too and help them through that. Yeah, you know sometimes like okay, I'm ready, I'm ready to do this, I'm ready, but then when you actually have to take action and do it, you're like crap, maybe I wasn't as ready as I thought I was is it?

Speaker 3: 17:03

I'm ready, but is it this week?

Speaker 1: 17:04

yeah, or maybe you know there's something that I gotta work through to get to the point that I'm 100% yeah, like, like, how do I live without the flavored creamers? Like yeah, oh my gosh the frappuccino and starbucks that I'm used to. Yeah, like it's such a shift of life, um, and the way that, that the person needs to eat and and the way that they look at food and the food relationship. There's so much to it. Yeah, as, as humans, as a default, we go back to excuses, self-sabotaging and analysis, paralysis.

Speaker 3: 17:39

So, it is, yeah, it's, you know. I, I guess if know, if somebody is out there and they're listening. Please understand this is what everybody defaults to uh, at least once before they get it together, because I think we've all gone through it. I don't know a single person who's like super disciplined. I don't know anybody that's super disciplined all the time. I don't know anybody that is that always does the right choice. I don't know anybody that, you know, never hesitates, never wonders, and certainly, as women, like Martha said, you, you know, we start giving of ourselves and giving of ourselves and giving of ourselves.

Speaker 3: 18:29

You know, and a lot of men do too they work their butts off for their family and you know all that self-care, you know, all the gym, all the. You know healthy eating and the protein powder and the did that they were doing, you know, kind of goes out the window. Hence they paint the dad bod. You know, like it's not just exclusive to women. It's a thing, right, life happens and we get busy and we lose. You know. We lose track of what we need to do for ourselves because we don't want to be selfish. But the problem is, if you're not somewhat selfish in how you take care of your physical self right. If you do not make time to keep yourself healthy, you will eventually have no choice but to make time for whatever illness develops.

Speaker 1: 19:17

True, your body's gonna make you go there.

Speaker 2: 19:20

You know. A lot of times, too, these things are habits that you have to change right, like snacking at night. Are you really hungry or is it a habit, Like you need something in your hand to snack on, and so it's hard. It's hard to make these changes, but once you start making them, they stick.

Speaker 1: 19:39

Yeah, yeah. So for those who are listening or watching, if this resonates with you, you need to give us a call. We help people every single day walk through, break through, conquer these challenges that we all go through. Yeah, give us a call, message us. Our website is inspireweightlosscom and we are here to help you. Until next time, midlife Madness podcast and YouTube Guys, we're so excited to share more with you. Keep a lookout for our next episode. Talk to you soon.