Overcoming the Fear of Being Seen: From Fear to Freedom and Empowerment

Welcome to a courageous journey of overcoming the fear of being seen. I invite you to face and conquer this fear  with me! Together, we'll delve into uncharted territories of self-discovery and growth, exploring the resonance our voices and conversations have on our alignment with others. My personal story begins with the nerve-racking start of my podcast, where I faced my anxieties and the fear of sharing my voice. This involved a lot of introspection, self-discovery, and working through limiting beliefs.

Embrace your potential as we unravel the ways this fear can influence our behavior and block our path to expansion. I share my personal growth story, and how I confronted and overcame this fear using a blend of techniques like the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), contemplation, and Human Design.

Through this exploration, you'll understand how your unique Human Design and Gene Key elements can impact your life. I'll also share how journaling became my ally in this journey. Remember, this is a no-judgment zone. Trust in the process and your unique journey of becoming comfortable with being seen - the unfolding and expansion happens in its own beautiful time. Let's embark on this exploration together!

The Artists Way: https://www.amazon.com/Artists-Way-Spiritual-Higher-Creativity/dp/1585421472
Gene Keys: https://genekeys.com/

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Welcome to the Receptive Impact Podcast. I'm your host, nina Elise. Hello, beautiful people, in today's episode I am going to talk about the fear of being seen. So I wanted to talk about this because this is something that came up when I started to work on my podcast, and even a couple years ago when I really started to post more videos on YouTube and even just like posting on social media or even just like work related things, you know, talking in meetings and giving presentations, and basically the whole thing is about using your voice and being seen in a certain way that may feel uncomfortable for you, and there can be a lot of reasons why you have a fear of being seen. Maybe you've been ridiculed in the past when you were younger, or you know you have failed at something and you're afraid to put yourself out there again. Or maybe your heart has been broken and you are afraid to show your authentic and vulnerable self when you're around other people. I mean, there are a multitude of different ways of how this fear might be showing up in your life. So in today's episode I'm just going to go through my process of what it was like for me starting my podcast, because it was like such a journey for me to get here and obviously my podcast is live and I have all these episodes and it's all cool now.

Speaker 1: 1:29

But when I first started my podcast and I had the idea to do it, I was like, oh, this is a natural progression. You know, I talk about human design and Jean Keys and different things on YouTube and it's fun and I love it and it's in flow and it's like this incredibly fun experience for me. It became this incredibly fun experience for me and even though it wasn't that at first, it turned into something more natural the more that I did it. And so when I thought about doing a podcast, I was like, okay, I'm going to be stepping into this different identity, this new version or a different character, and it requires me to embody different belief systems about myself and to show up in a different way. And so when I started the podcast, I still had these feelings of like not having value for myself, fear of being seen, fear of people seeing like more of me, like more of my vulnerable self, and I was afraid of like what people would think of me and what they would say, and I was afraid that they would almost have like a leg up on me, because when I share things or share more authentic or vulnerable parts of myself, then there's the possibility of them being able to manipulate me, because they see parts of me that I'm revealing and so they can use that to their advantage in some way. And obviously this is based on my own personal journey of my own trauma as a child or like scenarios that happened to me when I was younger, when I felt like I was betrayed or I couldn't trust people and I had to close off, and it's that's why it's, you know, difficult for me to share different parts of myself.

Speaker 1: 3:02

And so I want to share the story of how I, how I started the podcast, because I look back on it and I just kind of laugh because the whole, the irony of the whole thing is just, you know, it doesn't leave me. So, anyways, when I started the podcast, I was like, yeah, this is so exciting. I enjoyed the creation of it and I enjoyed learning like the process and putting together an entire plan and a strategy, and I was having like just so much fun like exploring how I'm going to set this up, what's this identity that I'm going to step in, what's this new level of Nina that I'm going to to reach in having this podcast, because I feel like there is a certain level of confidence or certainty in yourself that you need to have in order to have a podcast, because you're putting yourself out there as like, oh, I'm worthy of being heard, I'm an expert in this field, or I know what I'm talking about, and that's not something or that is something that I have struggled to embody in the past. And so for me, this was about pushing past these limiting belief systems or fears that I've had about myself, and which is why I chose to go down this route of having a podcast. And so I went down this route and I was creating the podcast and hiring people to help me with the editing and going to this whole process, and I was like, okay, yeah, I'm going to get over a couple podcasts for you to edit, I'm gonna record those today, thinking like, oh, it'll just be super easy. And I'm laughing because it was not that way at all, because when I actually sat down to record my podcast, it was coming from a very like mental, like strategic place of my mind, and so I was like, oh, I'll do a podcast about human design and which is like a very natural thing for me.

Speaker 1: 4:40

But when I started and tried to actually record the podcast on human design, I could not get past like the first one or two sentences. And when I say that I had to stop and record at least 100 times until I finally like just said, fuck it, I'm just going to just record this whole thing and I can edit it, or I can not even like I don't even have to use this, I just want to talk, I just want to get this out. And it was like so confusing to me because I was like why is this so difficult for me to get on here and talk and share my voice, when this is something that has come naturally for me on YouTube? And you know, I sat in contemplation with this for a few days. I was feeling this like pressure in my chest and I was feeling like almost like this anxiety of like oh my gosh, like I said, I'm gonna put out this podcast and now I can't even like record the first sentence of it, and I was just like totally freaking out about the whole thing. And so I sat in contemplation with it. I was doing EFT, tapping around, fears of being seen or speaking, and I just felt like there was something much deeper there.

Speaker 1: 5:47

And then, finally, I sat down to do my morning pages, which is basically I get up and I write a couple of pages of just like free handwriting where I just allow my thoughts to flow, with no judgment, and that's normally when, like, some good nuggets come up for me to look at and to face. So, if you're familiar with the artist way, it's a book that helps ignite your creativity and explore hidden parts of yourself, and it's been incredibly healing for me. I will do probably another episode on that and how it's impacted my life. And so, anyways, I was going back to my morning pages and I was just writing it, like, why, like, why am I feeling so scared of, like, doing this podcast? Like, why am I resisting this so much? Why is it so difficult for me?

Speaker 1: 6:30

And I just started writing and I realized that, even though speaking is, you know, the same as doing a video on YouTube, what's different is that there is no video. My face is not on it, so you're not seeing the emotional expressions of my face, you're not having a background, there isn't music with my voice when I'm doing my YouTube videos and there isn't something for someone to look at, there's no distractions, it's just my voice and I realize how incredibly vulnerable that is to just have your voice be heard, with nothing else. And I realized that was such a big thing because when you think about the voice the voice I kind of view it as like the seed of the soul, like it's this place where you can't lie, like your voice holds so much of the truth because of the frequency that you're operating from and that is what is being expressed in your voice at all times. So if you're lying, like people will know something's off. Something's off because you're lying about something or you're not being honest with yourself about something, and that shows up in the tone of your voice. And you can pick up the nervousness of you know in someone's voice of whether they're scared or how they truly feel about something. And I realize that it's like an incredibly vulnerable place to put yourself in, to solely just have your voice out there, because there can be a lot of projections from other people and at the end of the day, it doesn't necessarily matter what other people think of you, because how they view you is just a reflection of themselves. But at the same time, when you really think about it, your voice like it's you, it's showing you raw, like unfiltered and just completely authentic. And if you haven't like looked at those parts of yourself or like own those parts of yourselves or acknowledged it, like that is going to show up in your voice.

Speaker 1: 8:24

And so I realized, as I was writing there, there's just like this very deep fear of like, oh my gosh, I'm going to come off as boring or people aren't going to understand what I'm talking about and it's going to be like my podcast no-transcript, like no one's gonna want to listen to it, like am I worthy enough to be listened to? What do I even have to say? Like all these doubts were like coming up and I was just sitting with all of those thoughts and holding space and saying, okay, yes, I see you, I see this, you know. Like doing this inner child work, basically, and just acknowledging all of these fears and these doubts coming up and just breathing through it and being able to get to the core of why I was afraid of being seen, it just clicked, it just made so much sense to me of why there was resistance. And when I was able to acknowledge that and see that within myself, it took away the power that that fear had over me.

Speaker 1: 9:16

And I also want to add that from a human design perspective or a gene keys perspective, if you're familiar with this, this is actually something that I have been exploring for the past year or so when I did the Venus sequence with the gene keys my unconscious Venus is Gene Key 12 with line 5, and this was actually something that I explored very deeply last year, and it's all about opening your heart and being seen and not closing yourself off because you're afraid that other people will be able to control you or have some sort of hold over you, and that is kind of like the shadow aspect of it. You hide behind the vanity, you hide behind the stars and the shiny things, and in my case, I was looking at it as like I was hiding behind my face and my appearance in the YouTube video, and then when I started the podcast or when I started recording for the podcast, I didn't have any of that to hide behind and it became much more like deeper, more vulnerable place for me to be. And when I realized that and connected that to the shadow aspect of that specific gene key and how that resided within me on a cellular level, I was able to move into the actual gift of it, where I realized, like nobody can take anything from me because nobody has power or control over me. And so when I was able to look at it from that perspective of like oh like, it's just these fears coming up that I'm not good enough or I'm not worthy enough or, you know, whatever the case may be, I was able to see that the actual gift was opening my heart in these times and being vulnerable in the times that are the hardest, and that this was just another point in my life where I was kind of up leveling and I was shifting into a place that was much more, that was deeply uncomfortable for me, because I hadn't allowed myself to step into that version of myself, because I had stuffed it down so deeply and I had forgotten that this was a part of me to be open.

Speaker 1: 11:14

And the actual gift and the city of this jean key or the skate is the literal frequency of your voice and being able to have profound impact and mutation on others through your voice, and that can be through song or speaking or your words or art or poetry, and even in silence, and the frequency of the silence that you're sitting in, and so this is a very, very powerful jean key or gate to have in your design. So when you're able to move past the shadow and the fears of that, you can actually step into the gift and it's incredibly empowering and very liberating because you release those judgments and those fears of not being good enough or feeling like people can control you when they really can't, because no one has control over you. That's not being in a place of severance to you when you're like, oh, I'm going to be around this person and they have an effect on me, like no, you stand in your power and you own who you are. And even if it's like the icky parts of yourself and for me that's like the emotional part of it, the feelings of the highs and the lows and the feelings of being judged for being an emotional person that was a very, very difficult part for me to be seen and to have these vulnerable parts of saying, oh, this is my shadow, this is something that I'm afraid of, and like being afraid to share that and to be seen in that light. So as I explored all of that, it just made so much more sense. And then, when I looked at my human design chart, I realized that this gate was actually in my conscious mercury, which is all about communication and what I'm here to share with the world, and so I could see where I've been operating from the shadow in different aspects, and this was just another level for me to become aware of and to acknowledge and say, oh, I can step more into this place where I'm embodying this gift within me and that I actually do have the ability to impact others. Because one of the fears of this gate is the fear of what I have to say falls on deaf ears, and that can be very devastating, especially as a manifestor in human design to not have an impact on people and, I think, just for anybody in general.

Speaker 1: 13:18

Because we want to come into this life with purpose, we want to have an effect on other people, we want to know that we've done something that's worthwhile in this lifetime and I know a lot of this is rooted in ego and our minds are just constantly trying to make sense of things and, at the end of the day, even if we did nothing, we're still worthy and we're incredible and amazing because we just are. We're source, we're connected to God. We are God, depending on what you believe. We are these very, we are very connected to something much more powerful than we realized and we are that power. But we forget because we're bogged down by all of this conditioning from our environment and people around us and what we're seeing on the internet and social media and advertisements, and that's being absorbed unconsciously, like constantly, and so it's almost like we're in this constant trap of forgetting who we are and like our power. And so to just kind of like, reign this back in whether you have gate 12 or not in your Jean Keys or your human design, it doesn't matter because, honestly, all of those reside within us. All of those 64 gates in Jean Keys reside in the 64 DNA that resides within us, and so it's just maybe not as prominent or as a lesson that you're here to experience in your lifetime, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't reside in you.

Speaker 1: 14:37

So when I'm speaking about this, you can actually take that and reflect on it in your own life and say, okay, like, where do I have a fear of being seen? Where am I not opening my heart or being more vulnerable? And it doesn't have to be literal, it can literally be something that you take pauses and you sit in contemplation with. And when I say contemplate, you just sit with the idea of that and you kind of explore and say where in my life am I not being open? And you don't have to have an answer right away, it could be weeks before you have a realization about this. And I say that because almost a year ago, I was embarking on the Venus sequence with Jean Keys and that is when I initially started exploring this idea of like oh my gosh of like seeing where I actually close myself off and I'm afraid of being vulnerable and afraid of being seen. And a year later, I'm having more of these profound shifts as I'm revisiting it, because I have grown and evolved a lot over the past year because of a lot of the work that I have done, and so I'm able to see this from another perspective, another light, and I was able to go up or go and unlock, almost like this other level within myself because I was ready and able to handle. You know what emotions may may arise when I look at more of the deeper truth of what this means. So, with all of that being said, obviously and I have my podcasts up and running, and I was able to work through all of that.

Speaker 1: 15:57

After I journaled and had those realizations, I did some EFT tapping on that and was just very emotional because I was like, oh my gosh, I'm like hiding myself, I'm hiding my true self, and was able to come to a place of being like yeah, like what I have to say is worth something, like what I am, what I am speaking, like it doesn't always necessarily matter what the words are, it's the tone and the frequency and the vibration that is, you know, being emanated from my actual voice. And so I think it's so funny because I think on another level, like a deeper level, the reason that why why we attract certain people and we have different conversations with different people is because we're all on similar vibrations. And so if I'm going to attract one person, they're going to be on a certain vibration and I'm going to be on a certain vibration and we're going to talk and it's going to make sense, and but I don't believe that we are truly communicating with words. I truly feel that we are just constantly commuting, communicating from a vibrational place. And so sometimes when I'm sitting in a conversation with other people or like co-workers or you know people who are have a completely different lifestyle than me. It can feel like cringy or this doesn't feel good and it's not necessarily the words that they're saying, but it's just from the place that they are operating and the vibration that they're speaking from.

Speaker 1: 17:19

And then also people who are, you know, talking about things that I'm not necessarily familiar with and they are operating on a different vibration and it sounds like they are talking in another language to me sometimes and it's so wild to me that I can observe this and say, okay, like that's my indicator that I'm out of vibrational alignment with that person doesn't necessarily mean that I need to be around them or that I need to not be around them. It's just something that I'm observing and then I can also just laugh about because you know, you know, you know who you're in alignment with and you know who you feel comfortable with based on the vibration of the person that you're you're with, and so kind of went off on a little bit of a tangent there, but it definitely ties into the frequency of your voice and I feel like there is a constant purification of the frequency of our voice and just like our overall vibration, the more that we go in and we're honest with ourselves about these hidden shadow aspects or fears that we may have, and I think it's just a really good reminder to not necessarily be afraid of these things but just to approach them with this curiosity of like okay, where does this reside in me and is this serving me? Is this serving the greater whole? And if it's not, then that's something that you can begin to explore, and you can do that with a wide variety of tools. I just happen to explore this through journaling and EFT tapping and going into the gene key sequence and human design and therapy might work for somebody else talk therapy or somatic therapy, or even just like purifying yourself through the art of expression, of art, or in a state of meditation where you're sitting and you're gardening and you're working with your hands, or you're picking up a paintbrush and you're painting, like it's all very healing and contributes to the purification process of your frequency and is very transmutive. And so I think there's not necessarily that specific way to go about doing this.

Speaker 1: 19:20

I think the biggest thing is just having the awareness of it, without judgment of it, and trusting that the unfoldment and the expansion of that will happen over time without you trying to force it, because I think that can be a route that our mind goes down, and I know that from just personal experience that we go down this route of trying to like, force things or fixings because we think there's something wrong with us and that's just ego or our mind just kind of like trying to do all of that. So just to kind of wrap this up, the fear of being seen like it can control us if we are constantly shying away from the fear, or like the sensation that happens in our body when we're afraid of something. If we're afraid, you know like our bodies get nervous or they shake or our voice shakes when we're standing in front of a crowd of people and then we have to talk and you're like, oh my God, like can I trust what's coming out of me? And there are so many different layers to this fear and it's not necessarily like, oh, I'm going to work on this fear and be completely done with it. It's just another layer and then more and more layers will continue to unfold as you continue to progress in your life and you start to push through belief, systems and limitations that you were not necessarily aware of before. Yeah, with all of that being said, I feel like I feel complete about sharing all of this with you, and I wanted to share all of this with you because it is a vulnerable thing. But I feel like this is something that people struggle with a lot and, at the end of the day, like it's something just to be laughed about, because, like when I had that realization about, you know, having gate 12 in my mercury, in my human design chart, it was like this is all about communication and this is where I'm freezing up, and it was just like so obvious to me that the universe was like hey, it's been right in front of you all along and it was something that I just had to sit and explore and be open to exploring. And so I hope that my story and my journey has impacted you in some way or has opened you up to some sort of possibility to explore something within yourself.

Speaker 1: 21:27

Maybe you have the same fear, or maybe this is something that your partner or friend is, you know, struggling with, and, if so, please share this with them. Please share this on social media or send it to your friends or your family. There's something that you really loved about it or something that really hit home for you. If it did, feel free to send me an email. You can contact me on my website at nina-elisecom, and if you again felt like this podcast resonated with you, if you haven't already, leave a review. It is so helpful for me in the whole podcasting world and for more people to be able to see me and to see what my podcast is about. So thank you all so much for tuning in and I appreciate your time and for you just showing up and listening to the words that I have to share and sharing my experiences. So I will talk to you guys on the next podcast. Bye.