Bonus Ep. 1: The Beverage Blunder Chronicles: Exploding Cans, Novelty Tops, and Cocaine Conundrums

Ever found yourself in a beverage blunder, wrestling with a can and ending up with more on your shirt than in your mouth? That's just the tip of the iceberg in our latest bonus podcast episode where the ordinary becomes extraordinary with each laugh-out-loud tale. Join us as we regale you with the kind of everyday escapades that turn into comedy gold. We're talking adult novelty items that'll have you questioning your drinking techniques, and trust me, you haven't lived until you've heard about the 'dick topper' incident.

Prepare for your sides to ache as we move from freeing the titties to the debate that never sleeps: is cocaine a sedative? Spoiler alert: it's not, and the discussion gets as wild as you'd imagine. Between Hannah's infectious stories and our mutual affinity for the absurd, you'll find yourself smack in the middle of conversations you never knew you needed. So clear your throat and steady your drink, because this episode is drenched in humor that's unapologetically raucous and brilliantly relatable.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

I just spilled all over myself. I didn't put my bottom lip underneath the can, I put it on top of the can and drinks. This is why I'm never satisfied. Hannah, hannah, burn, he just needs the dick topper he does. Oh, my God, good thing you weren't here last time.

Speaker 1 0:20

John, I'm editing the episode and you take these these long pauses and all of a sudden you go oh, I got this burp that won't come out. I wonder if it's the penis. It probably was the penis. I just busted out laughing, sucking in air at the same time. So, johnny, last week she had this little cover thing that went over.

Speaker 1 0:49

I have a picture over the beer you do, because I'm right to the picture, but it was a penis with with balls and everything, and I guess her husband has a titty one that you put over and you just like suck on it. And you suck on the penis to drink a big straw. How does that work with, um, titties? It's just one tit. Suck on the penis to drink, it's like a big straw. How does it work with titties? It's just one tit. Suck on the tit, the penis, one's fun.

Speaker 1 1:07

I tried it. I think I deleted it. Oh no, you sent it to me. Well, here it is, on a can of Dr Pepper. Oh, my goodness, that's even more vulgar than I imagined. It fits better on, like smaller cans, because it covers the lip Like it's a different lip. Fuck you, fuck you. I just wanna free my titties. I just wanna be free. I just wanna free my titties. They just wanna be free. Go, can, go, can. It's not a sedative. It's not a sedative. Fuck you. Okay, I feel like we're beat. I would do. Okay, well, let's keep going, let's try it again. I can't do it. Cocaine, cocaine, cocaine. Fuck you, cocaine. It's not a sedative Cocaine. Fuck you, cocaine. Fucking putt noms, fucking putt noms. I really liked that.