Finding Balance: Embracing Self-care and Trimming Excess

Struggling with holding all the ends of life? From working hard, nurturing relationships, pushing for personal growth, to taking time for self-care, it sometimes feels like an impossible task to create a balance. I promise you that achieving balance isn't as overwhelming as it seems. In this episode of Tea with TJ, you'll hear all about my journey in trimming the excess from life, setting boundaries, and prioritizing what truly mattered to me. Listen in as I share how a simple act of calling my mom every day acted as a stepping stone to achieve the balance I craved.

The road to balance undoubtedly involves self-care - it's not a luxury, but a necessity. I'll be sharing my personal approach to self-care and the small but significant activities that keep me grounded. Hear about how daily walks, adequate sleep, and small acts of rejuvenation play a pivotal role in maintaining the overall balance. If you're searching for ways to regain balance and ensure self-care isn't left on the back burner, this episode will provide you with insights and practical steps to get there. So, sit back, pour yourself a cup of tea, and get ready for a heart-to-heart with TJ.

Transcript

TJ: 0:15

Hey friends, it's TJ. And you're listening to Tea with TJ, where our love for tea, conversation and self-improvement intersect. So let's take a deeper dive into my cup and let's have a chat. Hey friends, it's TJ. So today I am having a cup of matcha. It's the perfect fall tea. It's giving me all the fall vibes today. It's very warm and cozy.

TJ: 0:47

But I wanted to talk to you today about what I think is truly one of the toughest things that our generation faces, and that's finding balance. So let's take a deeper dive. Finding balance, I think, can be difficult Balancing work relationships, self-care, even personal growth but I do believe there's a way to manage it, even when it's overwhelming. It just takes a few small steps to find that balance in your life. I used to be one of those people that felt like I had to be everything to everyone at all times, but I've realized over the past few years that to truly be your most authentic self, you have to learn how to trim the excess right and figure out the things that no longer serve you or that's hindering your growth. And I realized that I needed to regain that balance in my life and that it was not going to be easy as much as I wanted it to, but in some cases that meant limiting certain interactions or experiences that I felt like jeopardize any sense of balance that I was after. And I was pursuing this balance of my life, and it really kind of just taught me to Savor the moments in life, because I feel like we don't always acknowledge those things, and so how does one balance at all right work, relationships, self-care, personal growth. I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on a framework that has proven to be effective for me in achieving that balance that I craved. The first thing, I would say, would be to start identifying your priorities, like what true the matters to you. It could be family, career, health or personal passions, and I know one of the things that I tried desperately to prioritize when I came to this realization of Trying to create balance in my life was something as simple as just being more interacted with my family, because I have, you know, traveled a lot for work and I've lived away from home for 10 plus years at this point, and so one of my goals was to prioritizing even if I couldn't spend physical time with them, calling and checking on people and talking to my mom and talking to my dad and my grandma, and I remember going through that journey and Trying to figure out okay, how can I, how can I find this sense of balance with Maintaining communication and connection with my family, having grown up with a very large family and seeing them every week and you know, every Sunday was Sunday dinner at the church, and so I started small left, just a phone call Every day to talk to my mom, to just check in to see how she was doing.

TJ: 4:06

You know what was going on, what was happening back home, and I started to realize if I could implement that in other aspects of my life, I Could finally create some sort of balance or the balance that I had been craving. At the time. I Made that promise to myself To call her every day, and I was just gonna start there. I was gonna call my mom every day, even if I was busy and and just to check in to just see what was up. And it proved to be instrumental in creating that balance for my life, because I feel like no one gives you, no one gives you the rulebook on life like when you grow up right, like no one Truly helps you understand how complex life can be. You know, when you're growing up with your family, or when your child Going into high school or growing in a college, you know we kind of have this false sense of what reality is supposed to be like. Like it's not, it's not truly what we are prepared for. And so, coming out of college, move into New York City.

TJ: 5:21

I Realized, you know, there were so many aspects of my life that I needed to get a handle on, or just to create that balance, that I could not put all of my time and energy into one thing over the other. But then I had to create a spectrum of Priorities in my life right and give them all fair attention In order for me to achieve the goals that I was after. And the second thing I will say Then I think it's helpful in creating that balance in your life is setting boundaries. Learn to say no to things that don't serve you or align with your priorities in life. It can be very liberating, believe me, especially if you're one of those people that feels like you are always giving away your time and at the end of the day, you feel like you have nothing left for yourself. I was definitely like that. I.

TJ: 6:17

I used to be in a place where I I Felt like I was always available to everyone except for myself and we came down to Trying to do things for myself or trying to accomplish things, I would put them on the back burner, or I would. I wouldn't give them as much time and energy as I would Other people and other experiences right, I would prioritize those things over myself and in. What I learned from setting boundaries is that, at the end of the day, right, you have to Replenish for yourself and you have to pour back into yourself, because then, if you don't, you have no room for anyone else. Right, you have no space, you have no Energy to go out into the world and continue to do these things and pursue these things that you're after. Right, and I don't mean that you have to be introverted by any means. Right, I'm, I Consider myself, an extrovert.

TJ: 7:22

I love being around people, I love experiences, I love learning new things, but I think it's worth acknowledging with yourself in those moments when you need to prioritize what your body and mind needs. In that moment, like so many times I have been on tour or, you know, been traveling or whatever, and instead of listening to my body, I've pushed through and tried to accommodate those around me Instead of saying no, no, no, I actually need a, I need a break, I need a minute to just collect myself and should just be with myself, because that's what my body needs in the moment. And I think that that leads me into this idea of self care. And I know, generally speaking, we've collectively gotten better with committing to ourselves when it comes to self care, but I challenge you to go a little further, to commit to self care and make it a necessity and not a luxury, because I do believe that with the culture we have today, especially over the past few years, that mindset has shifted from this idea of self care being something that's considered a luxury, that you do when you've done something good, right, it's a treat, it's a reward, whereas my belief is that self care should be a part of your everyday life. You should be able to have experiences in your life and still have room for self care when you need to chill or relax or have some downtime for yourself, to just be with yourself and to get to know yourself better.

TJ: 9:14

The path that I took to really understanding self care for myself is that I dedicated time to activities that rejuvenated me in those moments, right, if I was feeling very tired, I would sleep that's a form of self care or when I felt depleted, when I just felt not physically tired, but just the need to relax and rest and take a break, and it could be as simple as carving out time for a walk every day. Right, it doesn't have to be this giant or momentous gesture for yourself. Start small, right. I think oftentimes we get hung up on these ideas of I have to make these grand, momentous gestures in order for something to be effective, and I don't think that's true. I think what is true is, if you allow the time and space for yourself, you can achieve those many self care sessions for yourself, and without having to break the bank or take a week off or whatever it is. If you need to take a week off, please do that, right, sometimes that's what we need, but what I'm saying is that sometimes an act of self care can be a very small gesture that will lead to rejuvenation for your body, right?

TJ: 10:44

One of my favorite things is to go on a walk. When I'm feeling stuck, when I'm feeling mentally exhausted, when I feel like I need to crank out an idea, I go for a walk, and I think it is worth saying that sometimes you might have to schedule it right In order to achieve these moments of self care. I know our schedules are all busy, right, we're working and doing all of the things, but if you add that to your calendar or your to-do list or whatever it is, that helps you be accountable for yourself, and I think that's the biggest lesson that I learned when it came to self care. One of the structured self care routines that I have for myself is that I commit to a massage a month, no matter what is going on. I budget it accordingly so that I always have the funds for it. But that is my time, right, that's my me time, that is my time to decompress, that is my time to allow my body to rejuvenate and rest and to turn my mind off for a little bit. Right, because during that hour, nothing else matters. That time is carved out once a month just so that I can feel better emotionally, mentally, physically, and I challenge you to carve that time out for yourself.

TJ: 12:11

Relationships are another crucial part in creating balance. That I feel like gets overlooked often, and Our relationships can really provide us with a deeper understanding of how to connect with people, whether it's friendships, romantic relationships, you know, partnerships, work relationships and I feel like we we usually fall into those Moments when we are lacking social interaction, where we feel like, you know, our relationships are falling apart or where we feel like we're working non-stop but we don't have time for friends. And I have a friend that that holds me accountable because I'm usually, you know, in a million different places all at once. But I have a friend who lives here in New York that holds me accountable to where, if we have not seen each other in a month, he will pick up the phone and call and say let's go to dinner, let's figure it out, let's see each other, let's just make time for each other. And I'm so appreciative of that because, you know, with with relationships, that is an aspect of life that we all crave, right? We all crave human connection. We all want to be seen and heard and loved and cared for in.

TJ: 13:35

Relationships are often Overlooked because they have less to do itself and they have more to do with the other person. I want you to remember something Personal growth is a journey, not a destination, and the small steps will lead to big changes. It'll take time, and that's totally okay. And with that, keep learning, keep evolving and don't be too hard on yourself. I'll see you next week and that's our show. Friends, thanks for joining us on tea with tea. Please rate, review and subscribe, and you can find us on Instagram at tea with TJ podcast. And, as always, stay kind, keep sipping and remember we're here, so you might as well do it.