Tea With TJ
Embracing Authenticity: A Pilgrimage to Self-Discovery with Guest Justin G Nelson
Join us on this journey where authenticity is not just a buzzword, but a pilgrimage into the heart of who we are. My conversation with the indomitable Justin G. Nelson peels back the layers on finding your true self and the power of embracing every facet of your talents. Together, we tackle the tough decisions—like establishing boundaries and knowing when to walk away from relationships that no longer serve our growth. This episode isn't just talk; it's about taking the solitary steps toward shedding the weights that hold us back and celebrating the unique individuals we are destined to be.
Join us in conversation on socials:
Youtube
Instagram
Tik Tok
Twitter
Threads
Join us on this journey where authenticity is not just a buzzword, but a pilgrimage into the heart of who we are. My conversation with the indomitable Justin G. Nelson peels back the layers on finding your true self and the power of embracing every facet of your talents. Together, we tackle the tough decisions—like establishing boundaries and knowing when to walk away from relationships that no longer serve our growth. This episode isn't just talk; it's about taking the solitary steps toward shedding the weights that hold us back and celebrating the unique individuals we are destined to be.
Join us in conversation on socials:
Youtube
Instagram
Tik Tok
Twitter
Threads
Hey friends, it's TJ. And you're listening to Tea with TJ, where our love for tea, conversation and self-improvement intersect. So let's take a deeper dive into my cup and let's have a chat. Hey friends, it's TJ. So today we have a little special guest, a very good friend of mine, justin G Nelson, creative musical theater performer, multi-hyphenate content creator, all around amazing creator, and today we are having some Canadian maple. So, justin, you're my first guest. Welcome to the show, thank you. So I was like let's just sit and have a chat and have a conversation over tea.
TJ:So I've been doing some and you know this because we've had multiple conversations about it. I've been doing a lot of like self-discovery and kind of just really looking at my life as a whole as a creative, as a human, as an actor, and I think one of the things that kind of that our generation kind of struggles with is being your most authentic self. I feel like we kind of put on for people a lot and I don't know where that comes from. I'm curious to know your thoughts on how do you find your most authentic self?
Justin :It's really funny because, you know, prior to me sitting here right now, I didn't know what the topic was.
TJ:At all. I'm sitting here like, oh, what are you?
Justin :talking about Great, and this year, 2023, has been a year of self-discovery, and I was telling a friend that my word for 2024 is going to be recommitment. I was like recommitting to myself, and I find that for us, born and raised in the South, the church had a lot to do with us dimming our light, and I know we were preached and we're told and we're taught to really, you know, shine your light. But the church is the same platform that causes you to. You know, be humble about yourself and dim your light. And so we go through this whole re-birthing of who we are Like.
Justin :Once you hit age 18, 21, 25, like those pivotal points, you then hit that birthing part of us, like, okay, who am I really Like? We spent our first 18 years living up to our parents' expectations and then we tried to live up to society's expectations from 18 to 25. And then, in 2016, you're just like, okay, when am I going to start living for me? And it came a little late for me, but I can probably say I'm finally living for Justin. And so being my most authentic self took rejection, it took isolation, it took loneliness, it took going through not staying in, but going through these moments to build myself up to know like, okay, enough is enough. I need to start living for me, because a lot we talk about, a lot you know, like life is too short to just be sitting by and letting things and letting our passions like go to waste. And so that's why I really embraced being a multi-hyphenate, because God could have just said okay, I'm going to let you sing and then see.
TJ:He was just like.
Justin :Oh you know, razzadazzle, you're a pot. And he was pouring. I was like hey, cut it out, but I'm grateful and so in doing so like I, really I have to cut some people off. You know I had to be more intentional about who got my time, energy and everything and it gets lonely but it's so rewarding because you don't have to deal with all that energy and those opinions and those think pieces and just like, just be, just live. So I hope that answered the question.
TJ:Yeah, no, no, Okay great you touched on something, because I feel like we're kind of in sync when it comes to like self discovery and trying to figure out who we are in our place in the world, and there there's a piece of letting a lot of people go in order to do that, but I feel like our generation is afraid to do, and so I'm curious to know one, how did you activate this idea of like letting people go? And then, two, you don't have to call any names, sure, and so that in letting those people go, have you found that they were kind of like dead weight in a way?
Justin :Yes, so I started therapy three years ago and in those three years the word boundaries became like my theme song. And when I started to set boundaries they started to go away, because I was always that I want to say safe space and to come to for whatever, but when I went to them they were not available.
TJ:So when.
Justin :I said that boundary, it was just like I'm good, I'm tired, I'm not available. I was available, I just I didn't have time. Like I was pouring. There were days, tj, I would get up, I would get coffee, I would do whatever content for clients or myself and my phone would just ring all day, 12 to six, and it ain't work. It's, I need this. What do you think about this? And phone calls like hours and I would listen. I would listen because I know they needed it. When I needed it. I'm going to get back today or next year Like when are you calling me back? And so I was fine with you know, sending that boundary. And it got lonely because those people like I found value in being called and needed and it made me feel important. But then, when I needed them, it made me feel less than, and so setting those boundaries it just allowed me to really hone in on things that I was setting aside for other people's needs.
TJ:Did you feel like they were kind of dead weight and how did that like affect you know, and?
Justin :so I don't, I don't want to copy the dead weight.
Justin :I just I served their purpose. You know, it was like a Marie Kondo moment. It was just like thank you for your time, thank you for showing me my value, thank you for showing me that I was important or I am important. But also thank you for like teaching me a lesson, or like through mental health, like how to navigate certain people but not lose myself in the navigation with the people. And so when I, when I, you know, we part ways, I didn't. I don't burn bridges, I just don't visit them as often because you know there's more than one way to get to Manhattan and I'm just like hey.
Justin :I'm taking another detour. And you know, no, love loss is just no more love given.
TJ:Yeah, I get that. I mean because I definitely feel like I've had experiences in my life that people have come into my life for a season, and I know it's a cliche to say you know people come into your life for a reason or a season, but I find that that is true in saying that you know, sometimes people arrive in your life at a specific moment in time and they're literally just there to serve a purpose for that particular moment. And I think the more we realize, understand and comprehend that, the better off we'll be, because, unfortunately, I've also witnessed this that, like a lot of our generation, has kind of clinging to people in a way. Yeah, and they feel, and let me, let me go back for a second, because I understand and know that we all want to be seen and appreciated and loved and valued by our peers, our friends, our loved ones. But I think you, it's very easy for you to lose yourself when you focus so much on everyone else and you stop focusing on yourself.
TJ:Yes, and so, in this idea of being your most authentic self, I think it's a value to really understand that and to be okay with that and to say you know what? Thank you for your time. I appreciate you, but it's time to move on, because now I have to take care of myself. So I'm curious to know, because we come from the same city, we come from Memphis, we grew up in Memphis and you mentioned something earlier about the church and I've yet to talk about this on the show. I've kind of hinted at the fact that I grew up very much, you know, in the church. I'm a preacher's kid. But I'm curious to know how does your belief in your spirituality align with the idea of being your most authentic self, with having to let certain people go out of your life, go out of your life.
Justin :You know I'm not a preacher's kid, I'm a Sunday school's superintendent son and I love referencing scripture. I do feel that at times people love to throw scriptures out there for, you know, for buzz and like click bait and things like that. But that scripture and I'm a butchering, but for I know the plans I have for you, I say it's the Lord plans to prosper and all of that.
Justin :And the other scripture, I can do all things through Christ. Who's for this me? So, like, I picked the verses that are relevant to me, resonate with me, that really uphold my purpose and my principles of life, and really know that through spiritual work, even like with my Tantric Yoga practice or yoga or scripted journaling, like those things I always just go back to the chakras, Like whenever I don't feel aligned. I buy a candle, either one of them, prayer candles, a yellow, blue, whatever chakra is off, and I pray listen, I pray more now than I did as a child. I don't do the now, lay me down and sleep. I'm like geez, let's talk, let's talk for me, and I undivided attention.
Justin :I turn off everything and I just pray and, like through prayer and journaling, I feel like more doors have opened and more blessings have come and all of that has allowed me to really hone in on purpose and who it is that I'm created to be, Like as a cancer. You know, we're the motherly sign and I've been a nurturer for everyone, Like since the third grade. My third grade teacher was like hey, can you tutor? I'm just like maybe this is your job, but I did it because I don't like to see people suffer and if I know that like 10 seconds or 10 minutes of my day will help them redirect their path or whatever it is, then I will do it because I feel like that's my purpose. But it took. I mean, it gets exhausting and it gets draining, but I know through prayer, through yoga, through meditation, through those things I'm able to really find more space for people but also not carry their weight. I can leave it there. Oh me, oh baby, I'm taking everybody's weight with me.
TJ:You're coming with me.
Justin :But now I'm just like okay, how do you feel? Great we're leaving to get here, cause taking it with us won't make anything better. Okay, yep.
TJ:You just mentioned something.
TJ:There's two things that I wanna bring out the idea of purpose and finding a purpose, I think, is something that I have struggled with over the past few years and I've started to really kind of hone in on that and figure out where I belong and my place in the universe and all of those things. Because, similar to you with this quote unquote religious background or spiritual background, I grew up with a very particular idea of you know, you do this to serve, you know all of those things. And the older I got and the more like life experience that I had, I started to really kind of understand and open my mind up to the world as a whole, right, and in that this like self discovery and this discovery of purpose has kind of like come through. And so I'm still on that journey now and I'm still trying to figure it out, and I don't think it's something that happens overnight, it is something that will take time and it takes practice and it takes investment and you know trying things and figuring things out and all of that.
TJ:But how do you one, how did you come to a place of figuring out your purpose, or figuring out that you needed to figure out your purpose? The therapy.
Justin :My therapist hit me with it. So, justin, what do you think your purpose is in life? What kind of question is that? Like, what happened to what's your favorite color and why? And that really struck a chord with me, because we be out here willy-nilly, living life. It's like, oh, I'm gonna get up and do this. Like we have goals and we have things we wanna achieve. But then when you add purpose to that, it really shifts the way you navigate things to get to those goals.
Justin :No-transcript, your purpose could be to start a revolution or to end global warming, like, it's just like those things. But knowing the impact you can have with your purpose really makes finding your purpose more enjoyable, more rewarding. And like you, like I mean, I still, I'm still figuring out my purpose. Like maybe it's through veganism, or maybe it's through mental health and Christianity, maybe it's through performance, like I don't know, but as a multi-hyphenate, every morning I wake up like what do I want to deal with today? And so I don't know. It's just, it's, it's a discovery. And I think once you find your purpose, it's just like, oh. But then you're like now what?
TJ:Yeah, so it's just like exactly.
Justin :Like do I want to find my purpose too quick or do I want to keep going through, you know, these loops and hoops and things to to really understand?
TJ:it. But I feel like that's the thing that like really kind of allows you to enjoy life you know in in this journey of trying to figure out your purpose and your place in the universe, it really kind of informs you to enjoy all of the things that life has to offer, because I feel like I've gone through multiple iterations of my purpose at this point. We had a conversation last week about something that I used to do in the church long, a long time ago.
Justin :Oh, yeah, yeah.
TJ:That I'm considering revisiting only because it is. It's something that speaks to me on a deeper level and that it kind of it shifts me in a way that performance doesn't if that makes sense Like it speaks. It speaks to my soul.
Justin :And I'm glad you said that, because there's a difference between performance and ministry, but I'm we won't talk about that here, but there is a difference.
TJ:So, yes, so there's something else that I have mentioned on the podcast and I've referenced in the reference that's been used specifically. Okay, and so I want to bring it to the table today. Oh, okay.
Justin :Carmo.
TJ:Journaling. I did not journal until I can't remember when that conversation was, but it probably like three or four years ago. I think it was post-Nemo. But you got me into journaling, oh, and you it. You were very persistent, Very persistent about it. I was, and I was a little apprehensive. I was like you know, it's not for me.
Justin :I don't really, I'm not a writer Like.
TJ:That's not my thing. I'm a visual person, I like tactile experiences, but I'm curious to know your journey with journaling and where it started and where you are now.
Justin :So I'm going to go a little bit further. So it was, I think it was 2018, and the whole world was in a lot of war about this solar eclipse. That happened Like schools had, I think they canceled school or something and people were on the rooftops with their little cereal boxes and aluminum foil trying to see. And I had a card reading it was my first tarot card reading and I had just got crystals and my friend bought me a journal that said the best is yet to come, because she knew that was like my life's mantra the best is yet to come. And I journaled for the first time that day up under the solar eclipse and I felt like you know how, when you unlock a safe and like it just clicks and I was just like what's going?
Justin :Like the shift started and I wasn't consistent. I was not consistent by any means necessary. And then COVID happened and everybody and their mama was on TikTok talking about either three, six, nine method or the scripted journaling, or you know how in great school we had to write like I will not cuz to teach her out, I would not like multiple times and I was just like did that work?
Justin :What's that it was. It was torture, that's what that was. But recently I was journaling and I was like thank you God, university of my ancestors, for blessing me with my own apartment in Brooklyn that I could afford, that I could turn into my creative space. It came and I was just like now I will say, with journaling, be as detailed as possible because I didn't say.
Justin :I said that I did ask. I didn't say thank you God, university of my ancestors, for affordable apartment without mice and loud neighbors, and like I wasn't in detail and that was something like I was trying to be short with my manifest, my manifestations, I was just like be as detailed as possible. It's your time, take up as much space on the paper as you need. And it was some other things I journaled about that came to fruition. A Broadway ain't happened yet. It's coming, but I need to just keep working on that. But I've gotten close and gotten close, but it's just pandemic started. I think I'm on my third journal now and I make it a habit. I get up, I burn a little sage just to cleanse whatever negative energy the night before, crack a window and then I listen to a YouTube channel that has like affirmations playing in the background and I journal for the length of that video. It's about 10 minutes and if I'm done before they finish I'll just sit and listen in silence with it. But I love journaling, all right.
TJ:Amazing. So I'm also curious to know, in this idea of, like, finding your most authentic self, how has that aligned with you being a multi hyphenate, you being a content creator, like, how has that aligned with those ideas?
Justin :Well, I found out what exhaustion and burnout was for trying to juggle too many things at once and I had to pause and kind of reorganize things. You know, like what do I want to be known as or known for? Yes, a multi hyphenate. But like what leads this force of multi hyphen is that's not a word. And so like I really honing back into like performance as my base, and then everything will kind of fall under that. So I've again going back to chakras.
Justin :So I was talking to my therapist like we're besties and I was saying that each one of these multi hyphenate avenues feed into one of my chakras. So if it's tantric yoga, it's more of this. The, the orange chakra that deals with like sex, and then with the second Pew podcast, is like my root chakra, like really grounding me and keeping me centered, Earthy and cultured, is like the stomach area, because you know, like gut, health, food and all those things, and so it's on and so forth. So whenever I feel like I'm not tapping into one of those things, I can feel it and I'm just like, okay, let me, let me figure out what I can do to feed that chakra, and so I just feel like those seven things balance me out, to make me who I am, and what I do.
TJ:So then, how do you reckon with yourself when you can tell that you're like feeling a little off, or like you feel like you're not in alignment?
Justin :Grace because I'm still human and listen I after seeing a renaissance, I do understand. You know we don't have the same 24 hours as Beyonce. We also got the budget as Beyonce, but I can give myself grace, knowing that rest is still as important as work. So if I don't create something that day, it wasn't meant to be created because I would be creating it from a place of performance or the desire to have to keep up. Anyone, be authentic.
TJ:I love that.
TJ:I love that there's definitely some stuff there like that that just spoke to me, because I feel like I ventured into this podcast wanting to use this as a platform to be my most authentic self the good, the bad, the ugly, all of it.
TJ:And I've found that in the episodes that I've done up until now I have, I've gone back and listened to and watched.
TJ:Once I added video and had kind of a realization where I was like, oh, the it's, it's not just one part of me, like every subject, every topic, every thought, every discussion is so well meshed into who I am as a human. And I think, in listening to it myself and like kind of you know, critiquing, as, as we do as performers and, you know, as content creators, I've been able to go back and make adjustments of like, oh, I really liked this aspect of something, but then I could tell that it wasn't coming off the way that I wanted to, or from the idea of paper to production wasn't quite the land, the landing that I wanted. And I'm curious to know, as a content creator, do you struggle with those moments where you feel like you're doing something and like you go back and look, or you've produced something and you're like, oh, that's not quite as authentic as I wanted it to be, or that's not quite the mark that I wanted to hit.
Justin :As a perfectionist yes, Absolutely.
TJ:Like.
Justin :I can make a reel and I would find every issue in the real posted and I'm just like it wasn't that bad it wasn't that bad at all.
Justin :Even when I'm doing so for church, I'm always just like that could be better, that could do. I could have done it. And I've just learned to live with it and know that there's another chance and if I didn't catch it I will fix it the next time. But I'm not about to stress myself out over something that I want to say as little, because all content that we create has, you know, purpose and it comes from somewhere. But I'm gonna stress myself out over no more Uh-uh.
TJ:No, not for no views.
Justin :Uh-uh, we're good.
TJ:We're good it's posted. Are you at a place now where you feel like in being your most authentic self? You, you're, you're producing content that is completely purposeful and like, regardless of the amount of views or likes or shares or whatever still speaks to you once it's out into the world.
Justin :Yes, because when I, when I first started Earthian culture, it was just in the distance health corner and that was the lamest idea ever. It was so it was.
TJ:it was cute but I was just like that's not you.
Justin :Like you're not the welcome to. It wasn't me, but Earthian culture. That was like the rebranding, the pandemic, and I was just like. This is me, like I can be my sarcastic I'm naturally sarcastic, sarcastic self, but it's entertaining and that's just who I am, and so I had to really tap into it, cause for the longest I didn't want to be on camera.
TJ:I don't want to do any of this.
Justin :I was just like no, everyone's like you should do. I don't want to do that, Like no. And then people just like you're funny, I was just like I know, but part of this funniness is trauma and it's just how it shows up. So you're going to get it regardless. And now I record everything and I'm just like I'm going to do it for me, because I it's a way for me to heal, it's a way for me to get over my insecurities about being on camera.
Justin :Cause for the longest. I don't like my voice and I want to hear this. You have a great voice, thank you, but I don't want to hear it. But anyway, just doing it. It was one reel I posted and I said that content creation has become a way for me to heal and a way for me to just express who I am and what I love to do. And ever since then, things have just been great Interesting. I love that.
TJ:So I'm gonna ask you three questions.
Justin :Why you just asked me two. Okay, I'm listening.
TJ:They don't necessarily have to do with anything of the subject, but just to get to know you, sure, what is your favorite book?
Justin :Do I have a favorite book? I don't have favorites of music or anything, but if I had to pick a favorite book, that I've, ooh, ooh, okay. So recently, my book club, we just finished All About Love by Bell Hooks. When I tell you that book, it's changed my life. All About Love, Bell Hooks' favorite book yes.
TJ:Okay, what brings you the most joy?
Justin :Food.
TJ:Okay, any specific food.
Justin :Well, I mean, chinese food is a comfort food Okay, kimchi is a comfort food, but just the cooking. Not eating the food, but cooking brings me joy because it teaches me patience. Great, now I sit on hot tea. But it teaches me patience, it teaches me art, it teaches me creativity, it just teaches me a lot cooking in the kitchen.
TJ:What's the most valuable lesson you've learned?
Justin :Live life to the fullest. I know it's cliche, but we've lost a lot of friends at early ages who were just on the precipice of their life and I was just like I'm not living enough. Oh yeah, live life to the fullest. I love it.
TJ:Well, thank you for coming on the show. Oh, my God, thank you for having me and tell the folks where they can find you.
Justin :Sorry, Hi, you can find me all over the world Instagram, facebook, twitter, snapchat, linkedin, tiktok. All at Justin G Nelson.
TJ:And with that, that's our show friends, and I'll see you next week. And that's our show friends. Thanks for joining us on Tea with TJ. Please rate, review and subscribe, and you can find us on Instagram at tea with TJ podcast. And, as always, stay kind, keep sipping and remember we're here. So you might as well do it and you might as well do it.