Fostering Friendships & Creating Community with Amber Zaricor

Amber Zaricor is leading the way in creating inclusive spaces for women through her branding agency, Copperheart Creative, her weekly wine nights, her podcast "Small Business Big Heart," and the uplifting Fill Your Cup conferences. In this episode she gets REAL about going through seasons of life especially as a new mom and the need for creating adult female friendships and community that supports you.

Navigating the maze of adult friendships can be complex, but Amber simplifies it for us. She sheds light on setting realistic expectations from friendships and understanding when a relationship no longer serves you. She shares several strategies for self-care and identifying levels of friendships to know which ones to place emphasis on and which ones might not be serving you. Amber also dives into the potency of journaling, a tool she considers transformative, and her personal journey with social media detox during tough times.

Let's not forget the fun side of Amber! She reveals her favorite personal growth book, her go-to treat meal, and the song that makes her feel invincible. She leaves us with some power-packed advice: never be afraid to shine and embrace every day! Trust us, this is an episode filled with golden nuggets you won't want to miss!

Connect with Amber here:
https://amberzaricor.com/   
https://www.instagram.com/amberzaricor
https://instagram.com/copperheartcreative
https://instagram.com/fillyourcup
https://www.fillyourcupconference.com/ 

Let's Be Social Media Besties: https://www.facebook.com/DanielleNicoleLaRose/
[ OR ] https://www.instagram.com/danielle_nicole_larose/
Let's Connect - Website: https://www.prettypowerfulgirl.com/

Transcript

Amber Zaricor: 0:09

Also, I wore this shirt to be on brand today. I'm like I was channeling your energy. I don't know if you've ever listened to Lady Brie. Have you heard her music? Oh girl, she like channels so much of your energy. So I took my dog to the dog park and I was like jamming out. I got myself a pumpkin spice latte. I was like let's go.

Danielle La Rose: 0:30

Yes, oh, my gosh, okay, those of you listening and you're like, okay, who is Amber?

Danielle La Rose: 0:35

Amber, you need to know Amber Zaracor I keep saying her last name because I'm going to say it correctly but she thrives by creating a safe, inclusive community for women to chase their big, scary dreams, through hosting a weekly wine night in her home which I wish I lived near her so I could go to those and by hosting the Fill your Cup conference, which I have been blessed to get to go to one year, which is absolutely amazing, and I hope that next year, amber, you better have it on a date that I can go because the conference is so good. So if you're looking for something that just literally fills your cup, that's where you need to be. She is also listed amongst the top 10 designers in Tennessee, where she leads a team of creative entrepreneurs and building brands through powerful story telling with her branding agency, copper Heart Creative. And in her free time as if she has any, but I'm sure she makes time for herself. In her free time Amber fills her cup by journaling at local coffee shops, spreading hope through coloring sidewalk chalk, which is so fun, and spending quality time with her hubby, new daughter Ellie and their beautiful golden doodle, lola.

Danielle La Rose: 1:41

Welcome to the show, amber.

Amber Zaricor: 1:44

Hi, what an intro. Thank you so much.

Danielle La Rose: 1:47

I feel like there's so many pieces. I'm like, no, I need to say this instead. And there's this you do so many cool, amazing, fun things, but I really also miss like we're going to talk a lot about building a supportive community that pours into you instead of not taking from your cup, right, like that's your whole thing is like you know the fill your cup conference and stuff like how do you fill your cup with self care? Right, and you're a new mom, you're running a business, you're. You know you're doing all the things and I know, like you said, you know, let's be honest, you know I'm going through things and I'm figuring things out as I go. But tell me more about Amber. And how did you get? Were you like 10 years old? Like one day I'm going to run a conference about filling your cup and I do self care at the age of eight, and so like I'm going to teach everyone how to do self care. Like where did all this come from?

Amber Zaricor: 2:37

Oh, my gosh girl, it came from the exact opposite. Like, I feel like the best lessons that we learn are the are the lessons that we walk, and like the hard seasons that we step into and and overcome. And so we were saying before having on here that, like, our mess becomes our message, and that's truly where, where the conference was born I have not been practicing self care. I actually did the polar opposite and was grinding and hustling and doing the quote, unquote airbots, like girl boss thing so hard that I lost myself in the hustle, I forgot who I was. I started having panic attacks. I lost relationships because I was so focused on like achieving and people pleasing and growing my business that I forgot all the parts of who I am. And so I constantly am talking with women and love hearing women's stories, and when I was in the midst of the season, I was hosting my wine night every Wednesday. I used to host and it just the conversation just kept coming up that I wasn't the only person going through this. And then I would have a call with one of my clients that is also a small business owner and we were working with them on branding. And this is a professional relationship, but somehow still it would come up of like we're just trying to juggle everything and I'm just dropping balls. And this is one more thing and I just don't know how I'm going to keep up and I'm like, why are we all feeling this way? And then the pandemic hit and it made everyone take a pause and a deep breath and really what happened was the world quieted down and we had to sit with our own stuff and I never realized how important this work was, or the conference, until that season and I had attendees that had attended.

Amber Zaricor: 4:32

In February, 2020 was our first conference and then in April I think it was April the world shut down and they're like I'm so glad I have these tools, I'm so glad I have this community, I'm so grateful that this happened when it did, because I don't know where I would be mentally without it, and so that is. I mean, I am not a branding or sorry, I am a branding expert, but I am not a self-care expert by any, any form or fashion and but what I love bringing is women into the room to share their stories and bringing in experts, speakers, and just having a safe space to like, talk about our stuff and learn what worked for you and how to go about making change and being just real. Sometimes we go to conferences where we feel like we have to put on a face and pass business cards and shake hands and say all the right things, and this is the polar opposite of that and it is just like a big old, like take my living room, why night? And expand it to like 200 women, and that's the conference field. So, yeah, it's been a journey.

Amber Zaricor: 5:42

We just had our fourth one in Nashville and next year we're coming back to Ohio. So stay tuned. But yeah, it's just, it's been a roller coaster. It's been so fun and I learned every single year really big life lessons of how to fill my cup.

Danielle La Rose: 5:59

I love it and I can vouch for that that it does feel like you're in a room and you're just bringing women together to talk. And what I really loved a lot about the one that I was able to attend is yes, there's the speakers, which we all love because we get motivated and inspired and learn things. One of my favorite parts of the fill your cup conference was when we sat with our table and we talked to the person next to us and like, shared our dreams and shared because, like every woman is just so powerful and so, like I learned so much and we're still friends. Like we talk you know the people at my table like we got to really understand and then share ideas and all of those things where it was like so cool, like it was just such an amazing. It was such an amazing experience.

Danielle La Rose: 6:45

So you mentioned that every time, you learned some big like lessons of self care. What is one of the top things that maybe you've learned over the past few years of doing all of this? That you try again. We all go through seasons where it's not what we would love for it to be. It's not perfect None of us are perfect but the thing where you're like okay, that is my go to lesson of self care that I always will implement. Do you have one of those Oof.

Amber Zaricor: 7:16

That's a juicy one, and I feel like this looks different for everybody, but mine personally, was to log off. Like and we talked about this earlier when I am like, not in a great headspace, self care looks like for me stepping away, stepping back, because I am such a people pleaser, I am such a go getter, I'm so like, I want to engage, I want to create relationship, whether you're down the road for me or across the country. The internet is such a beautiful gift that we get to do that. But for self care for me, when I'm in those seasons of like I'm teetering burnout, I know that I need to pause and step back and log off.

Danielle La Rose: 7:58

Is that easy for you?

Amber Zaricor: 8:00

Oh my gosh, no, no.

Danielle La Rose: 8:03

No, I mean for me, like you say, like log off, I'm like, oh my gosh, really log off. And I love that. When I saw your post the other day I was like that is brilliant to log, just to log off, like for self care. But I can imagine how hard that would be, because that's how we connect, you know, and so I just I love that that you step into that and know what you need and you do that, because how many of us know what we need to do and we just don't do it?

Amber Zaricor: 8:32

Absolutely. And there's again. It looks different for everybody. I like have started this and I have to do it for myself is and I talked about this I think in Ohio was the first time I actually shared about it, but I've been sharing it more and more often is that I do this poor method P O U R.

Amber Zaricor: 8:51

So pause, open up, unplug and reflect, and that is honestly like how my cycle of burnout and self care, like how I continue, like once I feel myself tiptoeing towards that, like in my version, where where I know that I'm out of alignment and I know that I'm not taking care of myself is I get frustrated with all the little things. I get overwhelmed. I have a mile long to do list and I open my laptop and I feel like there's just like 500 tabs open in my brain and I'm like I can't even finish one simple task. Or lately, this might be a tinge of like mommy pregnancy brain to, but I like put the milk in the pantry and my husband came home and was like, what is this? And I'm like, oh, I'm, I need to like slow down. I am so out of alignment.

Amber Zaricor: 9:42

And so burnout like it shows up in different ways. And the best part about like the pause, but what you mentioned was the open up and being able to like. When my husband pulled me a sign was like why is the milk in the cabinet? I'm like, I'm struggling, like I need to slow down and I need support and I don't know what. What's going on, and I started crying and like just speaking that because I'd felt that for weeks. But just to open up and then feel like the tears flood, it's like, oh my gosh, it was like a release and that was the first time that my aha moment of like logging off to so unplugging in.

Amber Zaricor: 10:24

The hardest part of logging off is feeling like you're going to be forgotten or that people won't remember you, or that anyone will even miss you, that they won't know, that you're not online anymore and it's this bizarre relationship that we have a social media and taking that sabbatical was one of the best things I've ever done in my life, and so I try to sprinkle that in the last like quarter of the year. So, like from now to the new year, I'll log off, and the holidays is when we want to be the most present, so it's the most important.

Danielle La Rose: 11:00

That is so powerful and everyone's going to write down when they're not driving. P O U R yes, I love that.

Amber Zaricor: 11:06

Pause, open up, unplug, reflect and we're going to reflect to like we did this at the conference we scheduled it in was we have after every speaker where you can reflect and journal and journaling isn't like not everyone is a journal or and so this year we actually added in one journal session and then one like discussion session for my verbal processor. So it was a good like balance. But I'm a journal or I love it, yeah do you, do you journal?

Amber Zaricor: 11:34

every day. Not every day, but I do try to make space. And when I do get in the seasons of like frustration or burnout, or even celebrating my wins, when I have just like a really awesome day, like this morning and how today is starting to go, I'm like I want to journal after this because I want to come back to this moment and that's the best way to do it is just to document it. So I try not to overthink it or make it perfect or have to journal every single day. I just love writing what I'm feeling when I'm feeling it.

Danielle La Rose: 12:07

Yeah, no, and I appreciate you saying that because I am not a journaler. I want to. I some, I have a little desire to be a journaler. But again, for me, when I hear people say you should journal, I think of, okay, I had to wake up and first thing in the morning I have to do a prompt and then I have to sit there and write so much, you know, oh, my gosh, you know, like that's what.

Danielle La Rose: 12:28

That's what goes to my brain when people are like oh yeah, I'm a journal, you should journal. I'm like, okay, that sounds, that sounds like another thing on my to do list, that sounds like another stressful thing. So I love how you say like it's just my feelings and just so I can come back and I can reflect and it's not just the bad time, like the struggle times, it's also like the celebration time. So I love that, like that mentality around journaling.

Amber Zaricor: 12:49

It kind of takes a lot of the pressure off of it to be like a certain way of being a journaler and the best way that I learned to do that I worked with my coach and she it's perfectionism and that's what that whole thing is is like you feel like it should be a certain way. You buy a specific journal, you feel like it has to be in a certain time, like you're judging me Amber, it's because I'm it's pre, it's past amber.

Amber Zaricor: 13:15

Like I thought the same thing, yeah, and I always said I wanted to be a journaler. I always said I wanted to be a runner and I also thought that was not in the cards for me and I thought it had to be a certain way to run full marathons and do all these crazy things and like get the shoes and like it's like I just started running, I just picked a mailbox and I ran to that mailbox and then I picked a farther mailbox and then I ran to that mailbox and then I just started like enjoying the scenery and I now I'm like I'm a runner, like you know, like you have to do that, you know, like you have to define what that is for you, and journaling was definitely that for me. And now, after doing that practice for five or six years, my favorite part, danielle, is I have five or six years of like documented life, not just photos to like go back on, because we don't have photos of like those really hard, frustrating moments, like a lot of it is in my dialogue with God, because that is my higher power, and I am journaling like what am I doing? Like, why did you call me to do this certain thing? Or I'm so frustrated right now with X, y and Z, like it's almost like a dialogue that I can have with my, with my higher power and my best self, the best version of myself, and I can also get all those frustrations out. And then now what I do is I go back and I look at those frustration or like God, why would you put this on my heart? Or what's happening with the conference? I'm so confused, like I think I'm. This is going to be my last year.

Amber Zaricor: 14:52

I wrote that in 2021. Like this is so hard, why am I doing this? And now here we are on conference number four, coming into number five, and it's like that's why he, like that's why, like I got this, like I got through that season and I can go back and now I have proof of how strong and how badass I am. Yes, so it continually remind me of these hard days that I'm in right now, because there's nothing better than some proof of our own lives.

Danielle La Rose: 15:21

Yes, oh my gosh, I just need to bottle up that, like last three sentences you just said, and just like, listen to that every single day, because that is so good, because there are so many women right now listening that are going through those tough times, right, the struggle times, and it's like for what, why, and, and yeah, just to be able to look back and be like okay, like it worked out for this reason, like this is why. So what would you share? Like what would you tell someone, a woman that's in that position now where she doesn't feel powerful, she doesn't feel that way? Like what would you say would be like the next steps, you know, like that would, could help or be beneficial for, obviously, journaling, but is there anything else where you're like this would be the thing? Yeah, here's here's.

Amber Zaricor: 16:13

The thing is that when we get in our own thoughts, we're our worst critic. You know this. You preach this all the time, like there is, instead of just saying journaling. Like what I would say to someone who's not feeling powerful, and this moment, right now, today, is to write down every thought that you have about yourself. Just write it down. It's going to be ugly, it's going to be messy, there might be tears, there might be anger. Like maybe get the red pen out. Like live your life. Like let it out.

Amber Zaricor: 16:42

If you need to light that on fire, light it on fire. If you need to share it with a very trusted friend or a partner, like share that with them and be vulnerable and real of where you're at. And then ask them to speak truth to every single lie that you wrote on the page. Like and then write it next to it and cross that other stuff out. Like, have someone speak into you when you don't have, because sometimes our cups are so empty that we don't have the power.

Amber Zaricor: 17:09

Again not feeling powerful, we don't have the power inside of us or the energy or the capacity or the right mindset to speak that truth and know that that's a lie. What's on the page, so to have someone come in like a trusted friend or a mentor, or even a therapist, or if you have a good relationship with your parents or a sibling, like anyone that can speak truth into your life, positive truth. Have them look at that list and be like help me out. This is where I'm at, like I know that this is not right, but I don't know how to get out of this mindset. And then just put that stuff on your mirror, put it on the background of your phone, have them constantly ask them for accountability, to text you and remind you one of those affirmations every day like do what you need to do to start believing that and start small, knowing that it's not gonna happen overnight.

Danielle La Rose: 18:07

Yeah, man, that just gave me goosebumps. Like that is powerful to have someone be able to cross things off that you feel that are negative and replace them with all of the truths that there are. Like I feel like if we all actually did that, that would be like game changer, so good. Thank you for sharing that. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited. I hope that everyone listening like goes and does that right now and then they come back and they're like oh my gosh, like this is what happened and then show the pictures and all the things because that feels so good already just thinking about it. It feels good just thinking like well, someone just taking my listen and be like this is dumb, rip it up. And here's the new one.

Danielle La Rose: 18:51

That's so good, amber, let's I wanna get into a little bit about like building, like you said, building a supportive community right to like fill your cup. How can people what are like, let's say, we don't live close to you, amber, we can't come to your wine nights, and I know you're on pause right now but like what would you suggest if someone feels kind of alone and they're somewhere where they don't really have a lot of friends? Or maybe they just moved or maybe you know life is tough, whatever, how can they start building that supportive community? Like, where would you start?

Amber Zaricor: 19:29

It's so interesting because you're saying all this and I recently came into a season I'm a new mom and so I am in a totally day and night season of like where I was before, and so I'm actually struggling with a little bit of this right now too, and I'm in the middle of building that and carrying over and growing my community and this new entire capacity that I actually need for community. I have a new found need for community and a different type of community where before what was serving me is now no longer serving me in a certain way. So if you're sitting there and you're like I've never had community I don't know what that is or if you're here like I feel like I've either outgrown or outstretched my community or I've shifted gears and I've just moved that. Have you read the Slightest Edge where you like to start moving about 1% train track? And all of a sudden you're in a totally different. There's so much in that, and so I'm actually in the season right now. So, dear listener, sweet girl, I'm in this with you and I'm gonna start taking my own advice.

Amber Zaricor: 20:36

But here is ways that I've found to build community. The first one is I've just totally put my pride aside, and I've literally walked up to the barista that is so smiley and takes my order every day and just I feel like there's just great synergy with her. I'm like, would you like to be my friend? Like would you like to grab coffee sometime? Or like I literally I have a friend. I have a friend that I met. She was the barista and now she like lives in Portland, oregon and she's just thriving, like there is so much beauty and just asking like kids do it on the playground all the time, do you wanna be my friend? Why did we ever stop doing that? Like I don't?

Danielle La Rose: 21:18

know, but I love that you did that. I'm like oh my gosh, that is so like, why not?

Amber Zaricor: 21:26

There is so much beauty and vulnerability in that too. What lunatic would be? Like no, I don't wanna be your friend, like she'd be, like at least give me the time of day and like yes, like let's grab lunch. Or like at least some sort of like, even if we were just texting for a little bit, like anything. Like that relationship could go nowhere or it could go she could be my new best friend in two years. Like releasing any kind of pressure or expectation of meeting someone new and then just being open to it. So putting your pride aside, being open to new friends and then having no expectation for that.

Danielle La Rose: 22:02

And I also just say, as like, if someone came up to me and they were like, would you wanna be friends, I would feel on top of the world, I would feel like the coolest human, I would feel so amazing. Like that wouldn't make me be like, oh my gosh, like you see, like you just see me and we've talked for a hot second, I give you your coffee or whatever, and like you really wanna be my friend, do you know how many of us would be so thrilled if someone asked us to be their friend? And yet we sit back and we're like, well, I can't ask them to be my friend, cause that's weird. But like on the other, you know, but at the same time, like what a gift to be like somebody wants to be my friend Again, as adults, we're like sitting at home by ourselves having conversations with our dogs or babies and we're like I love a friend and there's a friend, they're everywhere, but we don't do I love that so much.

Danielle La Rose: 22:53

Okay, I'm gonna shut up. So that was step one is we're gonna get over that. We're gonna ask people if we feel something with someone. We're like do you wanna be my friend? Okay, yes.

Amber Zaricor: 23:03

Next is I injected myself into communities that already existed. So I started looking around. We just moved to a new area of Nashville. We're on the North side now. We were on the West side. Believe it or not, there's a pretty big commute there and it really is like when you have close community. Especially as a new mom, I'm like I need a friend that can literally like bring me coffee when I can't get out of bed, or like that can show up and like take my kid for a couple hours so I can shower. Like that is community. And so I feel like having like planning routes where your feet are. So I started looking at groups in the area and the community and I found this awesome co-working space that was opening up right as I moved here and they hosted a new mom's group and they got together once a month and I was like immediately like I bought a membership. I went to every single event. I asked the like owner of the space. I'm like do you want to grab lunch? Like I'd love to like hear your story and just like connect. And she was like yes, and then immediately like now I have this. I have goosebumps right now. No-transcript.

Amber Zaricor: 24:16

It was so intimidating because I felt like these girls had all known each other for years, or I felt like they already had established friends, or why would they want to be friends with me? All of these lies started to creep in when I was reaching out and then their responses was like absolutely welcome to town, come on, we want to embrace you and love you. It's amazing Again same with that one-on-one of would you like to be my friend, like asking, hey, I'd love to grab lunch or I'd love to support your community, and then immediately coming in and just being like I need friends. Is there any way? Are you guys getting together soon? Or buying the ticket to the event and showing up and supporting it immediately shows them that you care because you're investing. And then also back they're like how can we support you? It's like, oh well, I just need friends. If you could maybe be my friend. Yes, so again asking someone just to be your friend, just like a kid would on the playground, and then to also injecting yourself into communities that already exist.

Danielle La Rose: 25:21

Yeah, that's so good, so good. So, again, it's not like mind-blowing, right? Like how hard is it to ask someone to be your friend? But these are things like we just don't do because it feels uncomfortable, it feels weird because we've been told that, so that's so good.

Danielle La Rose: 25:36

And also I'm just going to throw this out there, amber, because as someone who does not have children and I know it wasn't long ago when you did not have a child either but I would love, like I had a couple of mom friends who asked me over the summer to like go to the pool with them with their kids, and I was like, oh my God, yes, that would be so fun. And again, but with some of their hesitation, was like, but it's kid, there's going to be kids, but they're going to be fine. Like we'll just go do our. And I'm like no, you don't understand. Like I'm here for the party, like I stay home by myself with my dogs, right? Like, invite me to come hang out with your kids, I'll entertain your kids for a couple of hours while you do whatever you need to do, right?

Danielle La Rose: 26:17

So you know, I think it's really important for moms to also like know that too, about like some of your friends that are not moms are sitting at home Like I wish I had, but like I'm not going to go to the pool by myself, so like it'd be cool to go with like kids or go to a theme park or go right Like go to a movie with the kid movie. So maybe also reaching out to like non moms who would really like to just get out and hang out and just be a kid themselves and maybe give you some time. So that was just my thoughts?

Amber Zaricor: 26:47

Absolutely yes, and I have, like some of my girlfriends that have really like that I have carried into this season with me. Are those friends, like the people that are like, oh, can you like get a sitter? Or like, oh, like, can you come to me? It's like you clearly don't understand the season right now that I'm in. So the friends that are like, put her in the stroller, let's go for a walk when do you guys like to usually walk, or let's go get Chick-fil-A, and she can like hang out, or like those are the friends, those are the girlfriends that come into the seasons with you when they're flexible and are open and that you know, as soon as, like those quote, like those friends step into a different season, I'm like, how do you, how can I support you? What do you need? Like it's this ongoing flex of like you pour into me, I pour into you. Like it's a mutual relationship where the friends that drop off in those seasons are the ones that are open to coming into that new season with you, and that's like a thank you for serving me. You've served me well in this past season.

Amber Zaricor: 27:46

Now I'm in a new season and I have to understand that my capacity is different and this isn't a great fit anymore, like it's just a natural ebb and flow.

Amber Zaricor: 27:58

But I feel like, even as you're saying, that, like I guess, like the last hip I guess I would have for, like building a supportive community, would be like really getting a clear understanding of what you need in a friend and, as we're saying, community I just keep coming back to friendship because it really is like an extended friendship.

Amber Zaricor: 28:22

It really is like a, it's a relationship, no matter how you look at it. And so I really sat back and, similarly to before I met my husband, I like made the like, you know, like the Mr Right checklist, and it's like if he hits like four of the five or three of the five, then it's like great, like awesome. And so having some sort of understanding that when you're looking for friends in this new season, like what kind of support do you need and what kind of capacity level do you have and how can you show up for them? Or are you looking for where are you looking to grow in your life? And like who can support you in and how can you pour into them too, like it's like this beautiful awareness that, as you start searching, you're not just collecting humans, that you're like really building relationships with the right people.

Danielle La Rose: 29:20

I love that You're not collecting humans. Like you know what you want, you know what you need and like that's what you're looking for. So I love that too, because that's also something you know, even when we're little. Right, the friendship thing I run a girl empowerment program, so the girls are often, like you know, they switch schools or they're doing this, or someone doesn't want to be their friend anymore. They're not sure someone should be their friend, you know, and those are things we're like, oh, little kids, you know we deal with that.

Danielle La Rose: 29:46

And then we get older and then we're like we don't. We have a hard time with breaking up with friends. We have a hard time with accepting that maybe we're at a different space and we need new friends, right. And so we still, as adults, like struggle with this like friendship thing because, like you said, we're not really sure exactly. We don't take a second to figure out like what are our expectations with a friend? Right, like, and does this person live up to those expectations? And if not, that's cool. Like that just means that we're not. We can be friendly, but like maybe not friends, so 100%.

Amber Zaricor: 30:16

And like I said, like in the different seasons too, like more is not always Marrier, and that's been the like. The lesson that I've lived by my whole life was the more the Marrier. I was always the girl that was kind of friends with everyone but didn't have like a best friend. And then, as I have grown in age, I recently had the gift of a best friend and I'm, like, I am so fulfilled in so many different ways that, like, instead of reaching out to everybody, I have like a handful of women that I can call. They are my ride or dies. They would be there in a heartbeat.

Amber Zaricor: 30:53

And you and I had talked before, like earlier, of I'm going in a mess. I'm in a messy season right now and the internet does not know this because I'm not going wide, I'm going deep, and I'm going deep with my circle, and so they're walking this journey with me. They're in it thick and thin. Like I'm not looking to make a ton of new friends in the season, I'm looking to go deeper with the people that are already in my life, or looking for a couple new women to link arms with in a specific direction that I'm going to link arms to become stronger and get that support and that mutual uplifting in this new season. So there's also grace in that. But, as you were talking about like the flex of Friendship breakups and knowing if they're not a good fit anymore, as adults, I feel like friendship breakups are so much harder than like something that's actual breakups.

Amber Zaricor: 31:53

Yes, but I've been doing this thing recently, over the past five years, where I draw a target on a piece of paper and I make the center circle the size of like my thumbnail and then I make a circle outside of that that's a little bit bigger, and then a circle outside of that that is a little bit bigger.

Amber Zaricor: 32:10

And I come back to these, this target exercise, and I'm constantly you can only fit so many names inside that teeny tiny target and then on the outer ring, you can only fit so many names outside of that, and essentially it's almost like an audit of your time and your energy level and your capacity and where your friends are fitting, so someone who might have been in your core but then you moved across the country or they got a different job where they're working all the time, like maybe they went from that center circle to the like second or third ring and that's okay.

Amber Zaricor: 32:46

Like knowing that they're still in your circle, but not as close as you once were, is almost like a relief to know that it's not a full breakup or just shifting. And then someone from the outer circle might like the barista that you're like hi, would you like to be my friend? Like she's like not even in the circle yet, she's like way out here. She might start like slowly creeping in the more that you do that exercise and the more that you become friends and the more that you get to know each other and be vulnerable and real and share experiences. So I feel like that's a great way to just have peace about. Like I do have people, I'm not alone and on the hard days when you're like I don't know who to call, open up that circle, yeah.

Danielle La Rose: 33:26

Oh, my gosh, that circle, like I see it in my mind. That is an exercise that I think we all should do, because I do think again, as adults, we go through this and just like, think of people and we're like, oh, we're not really that close. And then also that might allow you to see, like the people that are on the outside, we're like man, do I want them to be part of my, my thumbnail Right? Like, do I want them to be there? Cause? If so, then I need to start picking up the phone more, I need to start meeting more. I need to start, you know, asking them for help more and asking if I can help them.

Danielle La Rose: 33:54

You know, like, cause there are people where we kind of just slowly disconnect. But maybe they are, they are supposed to be part of the thumbnail or vice versa, maybe someone's part of the thumbnail and you're like, why am I spending so much time with this part? Like they kind of drain my energy, they're not really, they're in the wrong spot, right, and it kind of takes the pressure off of you of like like making it mean, good or bad, but just like, like you said in audit, of just realizing where am I spending the time. Who are the people and then maybe deciding where do I actually want them to be and can I move them around, like who deserves to be moved?

Amber Zaricor: 34:28

essentially, I love that. I don't need to know that that's just for you and your like personal awareness. That's like a piece of like I want to be a journal or like this is something you can do in your journal and like boom, you're a journal or you're welcome. Like, but do not share. If someone's like not in their center ring or like, you don't need to share this target with anybody, but it's just very much so, especially when, um, if you do have a partner or spouse, that um, or even my mom, I show it to her sometimes and she's like well, why don't you call Meg? I feel like she would really like love to hear from you. Like, you're right, I should call Meg Like, because she knows my circle. She's like hey, you've been spending time with these people out here, but like, have you forgot? Like, where's your core at? Where are they in your time?

Danielle La Rose: 35:17

Yeah, I'd auditing your time with that. I love that so much. Are you ready for some rapid fire questions?

Amber Zaricor: 35:22

Let's go, okay.

Danielle La Rose: 35:25

What is your? You mentioned a book, so what is one of your top favorite personal growth books?

Amber Zaricor: 35:31

Um, is this super cheesy that this is how we met. But um, probably chasing the bright side, by Jess Ekstrom. I love her energy and everything about that book is great.

Danielle La Rose: 35:39

Yes, I 100% All right. Your favorite treat meal, like if it was going to be your last meal ever. What would you choose? Lava?

Amber Zaricor: 35:47

cake for show.

Danielle La Rose: 35:49

Oh, you're speaking, my love language With a huge scoop of ice cream and chocolate.

Amber Zaricor: 35:54

Orbella Chocolate for sure. Oh okay, yes and uh, texas Roadhouse rolls with their butter.

Danielle La Rose: 36:03

And I had no idea we were so connected. We can totally go eat together Like that's, all you need is the bread and the dessert. Like what else is? I mean I could go for some chicken bakers too, but you know I love that so much. Okay, so good. What is the one movement or exercise that you enjoy doing that makes you feel powerful?

Amber Zaricor: 36:23

Running for sure.

Danielle La Rose: 36:26

What does being pretty powerful mean to you?

Amber Zaricor: 36:30

I feel like it means to step into my power. Like power looks different for everyone, but it's like what power do I possess and how can I embrace that every day?

Danielle La Rose: 36:40

What is one time where you might have not felt so powerful, but you stepped into your power and you surprised yourself.

Amber Zaricor: 36:48

Probably the birth of my daughter. It was not as planned as what we thought it would be and I have never been so mentally and physically challenged in my life and I had a new found why for showing up and for stepping into my power and she is now my why and um right, when I thought I was going to throw in the towel or I couldn't do it like, I just remembered her and her beautiful spirit and what she brings to this world and I it just it gets me every time.

Danielle La Rose: 37:25

So, good. So good. Who is one powerful woman that has inspired you in your life?

Amber Zaricor: 37:32

I would say Mary Hyatt. She is my coach and she has continued to pour into me for the past four or five years and has guided me through a lot of rough seasons and reminded me who I am. And just by guiding me and asking me, who are you like, asking me the right questions at the right time. So I'm so grateful for her.

Danielle La Rose: 37:55

Love it. What is one song that makes you feel powerful?

Amber Zaricor: 38:01

Uh, probably Lady Brie. I'm making a move. Okay, I'm going to go listen after this.

Danielle La Rose: 38:07

I'm so excited. What is one daily or consistent habit that helps you step more into your confidence in yourself? Love.

Amber Zaricor: 38:15

So every morning I sing the mother moon song with my daughter. Do you know what I'm talking about? No, the mother moon song, oh my gosh, it's a. I love my body from my head to my toes.

Danielle La Rose: 38:32

Yes, I do know that I love my body.

Amber Zaricor: 38:36

I will not sing it, but I sing that to her, but it's amazing because I'm almost looking myself in the eyes and I'm like singing it to myself too. I'm trying to lead by example, but it's not been easy, but it's been a journey. We're just in the beginning.

Danielle La Rose: 38:51

Yeah, you were doing amazing, more amazing. I don't know, moms, I don't know how y'all do it, but y'all don't give yourself enough credit. Because I look at all the moms and I'm like, oh my gosh, you're amazing. You are like, how you do it? I have no idea, but I look at you with so much awe and I know that it's hard and I know it's challenging and all the things. But just know that the rest of us are looking at you like, oh my gosh, like you are the most powerful humans ever. All the credit, all right. Final question If there was one powerful piece of advice that you could leave for your daughter, what would it be?

Amber Zaricor: 39:28

Oh, okay, danielle, I was not prepared for that Just to never be afraid to light your light shine and I know that sounds so cheesy but to not be afraid to be yourself and to not be afraid to take up space and to not be afraid to be too much or to know that you're always enough to not shrink yourself, to not try to be bigger than your britches, but just to be yourself and embrace every single day.

Amber Zaricor: 40:03

And I'm looking at it, put it over behind my desktop right now. It's just like when you see someone so small and you know how beautiful they are on the inside and out in her heart. She's like seven months old and she has so much personality, she's so beautiful and I just like I never want her to lose that. And as I'm saying that, I'm like I'm realizing that someone is sitting here listening to this, maybe, and is thinking that they are not beautiful or that their light is not shining, or that they are alone. And it's like if you could just remember, like, how beautiful you are from the inside out and how much potential you have and how much power you have in the tip of your finger because of who you are and the journey that you've walked and how that has made you stronger and resilient and brave and beautiful. Just sit in that, just to sit in that.

Danielle La Rose: 41:00

I love that Because I think it's if everyone could just see themselves the way that we see them. That would be powerful.

Amber Zaricor: 41:11

And even on our hardest days. Like I beat myself up, I know that, but I just I pull up a photo of my like 11 year old self or that like awkward eight year old Amber that was just trying so hard to fit in and didn't know who I was. Like I pull up that photo and I'm just like she would have never believed if I told her where I was today. She would have never. She would have been shocked. She would have been so much braver and so much more confident If she would have known that I was living every single dream and even better, better than I could have ever dreamt in my adult life. Like it looks different, but it's like, if you're having one of those hard days, just to pull up an old photo of yourself and be like, wow, if no one else is proud of me today, that that sweet girl is so proud of me.

Danielle La Rose: 42:13

So good. I don't want to even stop this conversation, but we have to, I know. But it's just so good. You are so powerful. You are such an incredible human that is making the biggest difference in the world. So where people are listening, they're like, oh my gosh, I need more of Amber in my life. Where can they find you and hang out with you? Is there anywhere you want to send them?

Amber Zaricor: 42:36

Yes, absolutely so. Our conference, fuller Cup, is coming up for 2024. We are starting planning for that. We haven't released a date yet, but you can hop on our newsletter for Fuller Cup. That's where I send all the inspiration and try to really stay plugged into that newsletter. So that's fullercupconferencecom. And then, on a personal side, if you go to amperzarracorecom I am not on social media right now, I'm not really posting, but I started doing mentorship calls and so that is something where it's a full hour of my time you can quote, unquote, pick my brain and we can chat about walking through anything that you're going through, whether that's in business or community building or self-care, whatever that looks like, and so you can book that on my website at amperzarracorecom.

Danielle La Rose: 43:31

Yeah, and I will make sure all the links are there so people can just click and find you exactly where they need to go. Any last words that you want if we didn't cover anything, or any last thing that you would like to leave for our friends listening before we say goodbye?

Amber Zaricor: 43:44

I just want to say thank you, danielle. It is such a gift to again just be connected with you Again. This was a connection where we felt that synergy through the online space and then when we met in real life at Fuller Cup, it was like, did we just become best friends? And that is the energy that I just want to channel into this podcast and I feel like it has come across. But just to know that that opportunity is there for the listener and someone else in the world too, that you also spark energy and that what you put out into the world you will receive, and that there's so much beauty in that. So if you're looking for a friend, just lean into Danielle and I's conversation and just embrace that and then go throughout your day like everyone's your new best friend, like the mailman, the barista, like hi, how are you? How can I support you and love you today? Like they might look at you like you're crazy, but the world is your oyster. The world, everyone in it which is wants to be your friend.

Danielle La Rose: 44:46

Yes, no, it's so true, I love that so much. I feel the same exact way. And if you're looking for new besties, a really great way too. If you know someone on social media where you're like we're supposed to be best friends, but maybe she doesn't know this, but I need to send her a little subtle hint then you could just send her this podcast and be like hey, they were talking about friends and like would you want to be my friend? Listen to this podcast episode, because I think everyone I know that everyone would benefit from hearing more from Amber and just getting this message and we're all going to go make new best friends. So thank you, amber, for being here. I love you, I appreciate you, and that's all we got for the day. So share this episode, go make besties and we will see you back here next time. Bye, friend.