Take the D.A.M.N. Chance: Transforming Dreams into Actions with Bevin Farrand

Tune in to our super inspiring heart-to-heart with Bevin Farrand, creator of the Do the DAMN Thing method and founder of the Take the DAMN Chance movement which she founded after unexpectedly losing her husband 5 days after returning from a whirlwind trip to France. As a woman who transformed grief and loss into a vehicle for empowering others, Bevin shares her unique experiences, her journey of starting her own business, and her insights on prioritizing our deepest desires.

Bevin unveils her method of owning your YES and crafting a DAMN manifesto. These tools are not just for dream chasers, but for everyday people looking to create a life that mirrors their truest desires. Prepare to be inspired as we discuss the concept of microactions, where small steps accumulate into significant results. Bevin's insights here are golden, offering a path to kick-start any goal or project with the smallest possible actions. And just as she does on her Podcast, Take The DAMN Chance, she inspires and motivates the heck out of us!

So, take the damn chance. Be fully present, break away from societal guilt, and start manifesting your dreams into reality.

Connect with Bevin!:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BevinFarrand
Facebook Group:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/takethedamntrip
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bevinfarrand/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bevinfarrand/
Get the Book:  https://bevinfarrand.com/your-damn-manifesto  

Let's Be Social Media Besties: https://www.facebook.com/DanielleNicoleLaRose/
[ OR ] https://www.instagram.com/danielle_nicole_larose/
Let's Connect - Website: https://www.prettypowerfulgirl.com/

Transcript

Bevin Farrand: 0:09

We never know what's going to happen to us at any instant, to ourselves, our homes, our family, the people that we love, our jobs. That's not a reason to live scared. It's a reason to live fully.

Danielle La Rose: 0:24

All right friends. Oh my gosh. Okay, so Bevan foreign right Did.

Bevin Farrand: 0:29

I say it right, farron.

Danielle La Rose: 0:31

Dang. I practice all morning too, of course, as soon as you go to do something it's like I've heard every iteration of it.

Bevin Farrand: 0:39

So yeah, farron.

Danielle La Rose: 0:41

Farron. All right, bevan is in the house and I was just sharing with her before we hit record that I am nervous because Bevan is one of those humans in the world that I just look up to and I'm so inspired by. I literally, like just a week ago, started binging your podcast and I cannot get enough of it. I just hear you in my head about the yes and the damn method and all the things, and I'm just like, oh my gosh, I get to talk to this human today and see her face and this is so good, and so I'm just so honored to have you here, bevan. But before I even let you jump off, I'm going to go ahead and read and share a little bit about you for those humans that haven't heard of you yet.

Danielle La Rose: 1:19

In 2019, after an unexpected loss, just five days after she returned from a whirlwind trip to France, my favorite place in the world with her husband, bevan Farron founded the Taking the Damn Chance Movement and created the Do the Damn Thing method. Her damn framework has inspired thousands to connect with the people that they love. Do the crazy thing. That makes all the difference. And when given a chance to take the damn chance, she is the author of your damn manifesto. Discover the keys to personal transformation, of bringing your biggest dreams to life, and a coach that supports women and achieving their goals, even after going through deeply challenging experiences. Bevan, I know you are a human that has gone through deeply challenging experiences, but welcome to the show. How are you today? I'm so excited you're here.

Bevin Farrand: 2:04

Oh, I'm so excited. Did you ever think you would say the word damn so many times in 60 seconds? I say it all the time, but when people introduce me I'm like that's, that's more than you've ever done. That huh.

Danielle La Rose: 2:15

It's it really. It really is. But I love. Even on your podcast, your intro is like it has a. It has a meaning. I'm not saying it over and over for no reason, but it's great, I love it.

Bevin Farrand: 2:26

I'm not just a little sweary although I am, but it's not. It does actually mean something.

Danielle La Rose: 2:31

Yeah, so where did you? Okay, so let's, let's dig in. Tell us a little bit, like you don't even have to tell us interesting facts. Tell us boring, random, normal facts about Bevan.

Bevin Farrand: 2:41

Oh, my gosh, boring, random facts. Okay, well, this is not boring, but it's one I used to use all the time. I was born without a nose that it sounds more dramatic than it was, like basically my eye, but I like to say it that way. My nose was like I had a complicated birth and I my nose, was squished in the background and I don't even know why I'm sharing this. Danielle, you said random and I went there and so my basically my nose had to be shaped that like the minute I was born, and so we always joke that I had plastic surgery right when I was born and my family has this like sort of known bump in their nose and I don't have it, so that that is, to me, the most random fact I could come up with about myself. But other than that, I am a mama, I have three gorgeous little kiddos and if you want, I can kind of tell you the story about how to take the damn chance movement, because that really feeds into my kids and everything that I do.

Danielle La Rose: 3:38

Yeah, tell us about the movement. How you got, how did you get to today?

Bevin Farrand: 3:41

Okay. So in 2019, my husband, mark, on Mother's Day, surprised me with tickets to France for my 40th birthday, which was going to be in November. So we had six months to plan, which sounds so unromantic to have six months to plan, but we had two kiddos at the time, my daughter, guinevere was two, my son, jonathan was four months old, and so we were, initially we were jumping into planning, and then two weeks later I went in for my annual review, thinking I was getting a promotion and I lost my job. So here we had just taken money out of our savings so I could do a full three month maternity leave for my son. You know, we bought a van because our family was growing down all of these things, with the expectation that we would both have our careers, and it was gone.

Bevin Farrand: 4:29

And at that point I said to Mark you know, this is the third time in under 10 years that I have lost my job for one reason or another and I am tired of it and I don't want to put the financial health of our family into the hands of any one person ever again. I asked Mark at that time if why? Asked? I told him and knew he would support me because he was my biggest cheerleader in the world, even though I knew he had his questions about this. But I said I don't want to look for another job, I want to start my own business, taking everything that I've been doing for the past 10 years as a coach and a brand director, a digital marketer, a launch manager and I want to take that for small businesses and entrepreneurs who want to grow their business but don't need a full time COO or brand director. And he, like I said, he was my biggest cheerleader. So, even though his little engineer brain probably exploded in his head, we agreed that I could do a proof of concept and see if I could make $5,000 by the end of August. I made $0 in June, like so many of us entrepreneurs do when we first start out. I made $1,000 in July. So we celebrate the first dollar I made. And then in August I hit my $5,000 mark and by the time our trip came around in November, I had made $35,000 in my business.

Bevin Farrand: 5:47

So was really growing it? It was on a good path, but the trip itself still seemed totally ridiculous because we were going to be on the ground in Bordeaux for 39 hours. We were going to be in planes the same amount of time. We were going to be on the ground because we had these two kiddos and you know we couldn't leave them for that long. And we were going to Bordeaux, which I said to Mark wouldn't it just be easier to go to Paris? And Danielle, he said something that has never been said before. He said Paris is a cop out. Oh, I know right, he wanted us to. He wanted us to both go someplace neither of us had ever been, so we could really experience it together for the first time. So we did go and got to spend my 40th birthday with the love of my life and my best friend and, like I said, my biggest cheerleader and he. We were just connecting to who we'd been before. We had kids and gotten married and had these stressful jobs. And he even looked at me at one point and he said I feel like I'm reconnecting to the real you, which was beautiful and it felt so true.

Bevin Farrand: 6:58

We came back and it was the week of Thanksgiving, which is my favorite holiday and also my birthday usually got stuff done around the house. He had taken the entire week off work. We took our daughter to her first movie theater show. And then the day at Thanksgiving was beautiful with his family. His parents had come in my family our best friends and then the next day I went up to wake up Mark and he had passed away in the middle of the night, completely unexpectedly. He had undiagnosed heart disease, so one of his arteries was 95% blocked and the other was 50% blocked. All of a sudden, I was a solo parent of two kids under the age of three. I was the sole financial provider with a brand new business that was growing but had only really been in existence for about six months, and I'm trying to navigate all of this without my best friend and the love of my life. I say that all the time. It's so true. He was the one who cheered me on and kept me grounded.

Bevin Farrand: 8:04

About a month after that, I made a post on Facebook talking about the trip and losing Mark and my birthday, and I ended that post by saying whenever you're faced with a choice, just take the damn trip. That was really the start of what is now the take the damn chance movement, because people reached out to me saying that they had taken a trip before they lost somebody special and how important that had been to them or they were going to say no to something. They were going to say no to a trip, but now they're going to go because take the damn trip. And, more importantly, what I started to talk to people about was taking the chance on themselves and not pushing that dream that they keep having in their heart, not pushing it to the side any longer. And I started to look at the hardest things that I've experienced in my life.

Bevin Farrand: 8:58

So not just losing Mark, but I lost my dad to cancer when I was 24. I lost my home in a house fire in 2010. My kiddos are IVF babies, so I went through years of fertility treatments and a miscarriage. I lost my job three times all these things. But I also looked at what are the most amazing things that I've created in my life so those babies right, going through those fertility treatments and being able to build our family, building my business successfully, building our dream home, having a really connected, amazing relationship with Mark.

Bevin Farrand: 9:34

And I was asking myself what is it that I do differently than other people Not better or worse, but just differently to navigate those situations? And that is when I started to come up with the damn framework. So, like I said, it does mean something. It stands for. Decide and declare, attend your own party moments, not minutes and now is the time, and everything in my life is based around that damn framework.

Bevin Farrand: 10:02

So I have something called the do the damn thing method, where you craft your damn manifesto, you find your damn people, you get your damn results. We take the damn chance, all of these things and I used it to bring my biggest dream to life, literally, in that when Mark passed away, we were 60 days away from starting our next round of IVF, and losing my dream of being a mom of three and my best friend in the same instant really was unfathomable to me. And so I went through my own framework and I crafted my damn manifesto, which is my yes and my six dimensional why I found my damn people. I did all the things and in July of 2021, I gave birth to Mark's and my daughter, maristella. So now I am the mom of three under the age of seven. He's still a solo parent. It is. It is a circus around here, but it's amazing, and so that's that's really how I came to be here today and talking about the damn framework with everyone I can, everyone possible, everyone I need yeah.

Danielle La Rose: 11:12

I just got to say I am. I'm trying to hold it together over here, bevin, because I it's so interesting, because I've heard your story so many times, but yeah, it's still just like it gets me, and I'm one of those. I'm, I'm a crier, and so anytime I I'm trying to hold it down, like I put mascara on for the first time today in like five weeks. Danielle, don't let it go away.

Bevin Farrand: 11:32

I feel like that was a mistake. That was a poor life choice.

Danielle La Rose: 11:35

I don't know better. I knew I was going to hear this story again. Why did you do this? No, but I just want to. I appreciate you for sharing that and I also want to just call out, because you know you, on one of your recent podcasts that I listened to, you know you said something along the lines of you don't, if you have a story similar or you have grief or you have experienced something, you shared you. You don't have to share that.

Danielle La Rose: 12:00

You know your your message your message, but it doesn't have to be shared if that's not for you but for you, bevin it is. It is something that you openly share and walk through and talk through. And I just want to say I know that obviously isn't easy and probably over time, like you share it over and over again so many times, but it is powerful and just I don't know. Just thank you for sharing.

Bevin Farrand: 12:26

Okay, so let's go. I will say something about that, though, because I just was on a podcast recently where we were talking about like, sharing the story, and she kind of made a comment about like, like, sometimes, when I share it, it seems like it didn't happen to me, and that really struck me, because what I've noticed is that, truly, every time I share that, I get chills. When I talk about Mark passing away, like it's, it's a very visceral feeling for me when I talk about having Maristella. Same thing when I talk about my kids, I don't think that we have to share our stories, right? I think that there is this, this because we're in social media world and because people think, oh, if you share one thing, you have to share all the things. I don't share all the things, I'll talk about everything, but so there's this sort of feeling of, oh, you have to share it.

Bevin Farrand: 13:15

Now I do think it is a huge gift when we are willing to share our stories, because every time I talk about IVF or miscarriage or fertility, every single time somebody comes up to me and says thank you for sharing that. My wife and I are going through IVF and I don't know who to talk to about it or man, I had a miscarriage and I felt so isolated and alone. So I like to share my stories to normalize that we're all going through hard things, but I don't expect everybody. I mean, I get people coming to me and sharing their stories a lot because they are like oh I want to tell you mine, but I don't think everybody has to build a platform around the hard thing they went through. I don't think we have to share anything we don't want to. So thank you for acknowledging it and I appreciate it and I appreciate just having the opportunity to share it.

Danielle La Rose: 14:09

Yeah, yeah, okay. So let's get into the nitty gritty. Like I'm so obsessed with your damn method and the yes, so you often say that the yes, like owning your yes, knowing your yes, like that's the first step for you, right, with your clients and just people in general, that's where they should start. So can you share with us what does that? What does the yes mean?

Bevin Farrand: 14:33

Right.

Bevin Farrand: 14:35

So the first step in everything I do is crafting a damn manifesto. And so the damn manifesto is your yes and your six dimensional why. And your yes is the thing that you want more than anything else right now. It doesn't mean that it's the thing you're going to do for the rest of your life. It doesn't mean it just means that when you are choosing between this thing and Bingee Netflix, you're going to choose your yes and it's the thing you're willing to make your top priority. You're willing to resource it. It's personal and we can have a damn manifesto for every single area of our lives. Like I was thinking about our conversation today, I was thinking about it this morning.

Bevin Farrand: 15:17

And you do so much with body image and health and fitness and all of those things. My experience in health and fitness I've bought so many workouts and hired trainers and all of the things. It's not until I have a damn manifesto for fitness and actually use it that I actually see progress and results. Because what you do is you find your yes and the yes is the what. It's not the how, it's just the what. So for fitness, it might be. I want to be a strong, healthy woman who like that's it, that's the yes Right. Like it's not. How are we going to do that? Any of those things?

Bevin Farrand: 15:59

And what I've heard from so many people women in particular is that they don't know what their big dream is. They don't know. They're like I don't have a big, bold dream. And that is not true. It is what people think. It's two things. One, they're comparing their yes to somebody else's and feeling like it's inferior, like if my yes, which one of my yeses, is to speak on stages, if my yes is to speak in front of 5,000 people, and that somebody else's like I just want to be able to have a conversation with my boss, like that's their, their, like their ability to have stronger one-on-one conversations is no less valid than mine.

Bevin Farrand: 16:37

Yeah, but we've also forgotten how to dream. Like children, we dream like editors. So we have this idea and we immediately tell ourselves why it's not going to work. Well, so you're thinking. You know your podcast is new, and when you first started thinking about a podcast, it could have been very easy for your brain to say, oh well, that'll never work, nobody's going to listen, you don't know how to do it, you know what about this, what about that? And then you never do it Right. And I know when I started my podcast I had some of those same thoughts like, well, I don't know what I'm doing, and if I had listened to those then I never would have started my podcast.

Bevin Farrand: 17:18

But so it's dream understanding how to dream, like children, which I go into in my book, like first we dream big, then we focus in to find that one yes, that is the thing we are willing to go after fully. So that's your yes, that's figuring that out. And then your six dimensional why is understanding all the ways this is going to impact your life? Because we think about usually we think about one, maybe two reasons why we want to do something Right.

Bevin Farrand: 17:51

And then for business, you might think, oh, I want to make more money and I want to be able to work from anywhere, but you're not tapping into all six areas. Or for fitness, often it's physically, I want to look and feel better, and maybe socially, I want to feel more confident going out. But we've got to look at all six areas. So those areas are financial, emotional, mental, physical, social and spiritual, which you could also college. Your mission and when and every important goal is going to impact all six of those areas. And when you know that like if my financial goal for starting a business in June of 2019, I made $0. Financial Y, not holding up there would be much easier to get a job. But if I tap into emotionally, it's going to make me so proud to build a business, it's going to make me happy and mentally it's providing challenges that I get to solve, like interesting, interesting challenges, interesting questions.

Bevin Farrand: 18:54

Physically, I can choose where I work from. Socially, I get to meet really interesting people. I get to talk to cool people on podcasts. I get to speak on stages. I get to make a difference in the world, in the lives of the people I talk to, which then hopefully ripples out into other people. And then, spiritually, this is my soul's purpose. My purpose is to share the damn framework with as many people as possible in as many ways as possible. Now, when I have a crappy month, I can think, yeah, but this is my purpose. Or I can think, yeah, but I get to talk to really cool people about this and that then helps me get through the times that it's hard. So that's it. And even, like I said, for health, just thinking about that, financially, I'm going to stop buying all these workouts that don't work or buying all this food that doesn't get cooked and I throw it away.

Bevin Farrand: 19:49

Emotionally, it's going to make me so proud that I can do these things mentally and mentally. For me, physically and health is like mentally is the biggest one I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. Physically obvious, my body is going to be in the shape that I want it to be in. Socially, I'm going to feel more confident, I'm going to feel comfortable, and then spiritually, maybe your body is going to align more with how you view yourself in your head. So do you see how you can craft a six-dimensional Y for anything that is important to you?

Danielle La Rose: 20:22

Yeah, no, that is mind-blowing. And yet, at the same time, it's like duh, that makes so much sense. And because what it sounds like to me is I always come back to the word power and stepping into your power, knowing your power, and I feel like that would just make someone feel just so much more powerful in that direction of their life. Because, again, now you know it's not just, yeah, this would be fun to do, or like, yeah, this is my passion, but, like you said, you're leaning on all those things. So now you don't have just one reason why you're doing something. Now you have these six reasons why you're doing something that you lean into and you're like, ok, yeah, this obviously makes complete sense, because now I have six reasons why it's not just one reason why that kind of feels good, sometimes kind of doesn't. So that is so powerful. So then, ok, so we said our, why we do our six dimensional I'm sorry, not our why Our, yes, six dimensional. We go into the DM. Now, obviously everyone's going to be obsessed with you, like me.

Danielle La Rose: 21:24

So they're going to go binge your podcast, like I have and like I cannot get enough Bevin in my life. So they're going to binge the podcast, they're going to order the book and they're going to get to dive deep into that. And I know you have a workbook too that people can get into and really work through everything. So we don't need to go into the nitty gritty of all the things. But do you want to give us an overview of the DM? I know you listed them already, what each word letter means, but just a little snippet of how you use that and the power behind it that you see with your clients, sure.

Bevin Farrand: 21:53

The thing I found is that once I saw these mindset shifts, I couldn't unsee them, and I think that's the way that people hear this. So the D is decide and declare. And decide really does go into that damn manifesto right After you have your yes and your six dimensional, why you craft it into an easy to remember, simple to say sentence. The declare of that is where you start to find your damn people, which is the second step of the do the damn thing method. And that is not just shouting it from the social media rooftops that's usually actually the seventh step to this but declaring it to yourself, finding your cheerleaders, using layered declarations to start to build out a support system.

Bevin Farrand: 22:38

And I say that you need three types of allies in each important area of your life, and this is part of the declaring. You need a path partner, so you need somebody who's walking the same path at about the same place as you. So that might be a mom friend who has young kids, not just a mom, but somebody who's on that same path. It might be somebody who's starting a health journey, not an Ironman triathlete, but maybe somebody who's going to run their first 5k with you. You need a guide or a mentor, and you need a beacon of inspiration. And so when you start to declare that and you start to build that tribe, then you're building confidence and clarity as you go. So that's the D, the A of a tendering party is everything has like two.

Bevin Farrand: 23:21

So the A is we're all creating the experience of our lives through our own thoughts and through our filters. And so you listened to the podcast and you binged it and you got something totally different from it than whoever's listening to yours who's going to go binge it? Because you just have a different filter. You've lived a different life. But when we know that we're creating our experience through our thoughts, then we can understand that we could have a different experience by changing our thoughts without changing the circumstance. And so we're taking I call it 100%, radically loving responsibility for our role in the experience of our lives. It doesn't mean we're taking responsibility for all the crap that's happening around us. It doesn't mean it's not our fault, we're not blaming. It's that we're taking responsibility for our experience. So it's not my fault that Mark died. I literally had nothing to do with it. But I can take radically loving responsibility for my role in how I share the message of my relationship with our kids and with the world. I choose how I show up with telling the stories, and the other part of it is comparing ourselves to ourselves. That's attending our own party, because it is useless to compare ourselves to other people, because we can always make ourselves feel better or worse, depending on which way we look. We can look at somebody and say I love the qualities of that person and I want to be more powerful, I want to be more outgoing, I want to be more connected. But comparing yourself to someone else, I mean I could make myself feel terrible by looking at somebody who has a podcast that's been in existence for five years and has a million downloads, right, right, yeah, I could be like my podcast is a year old in two weeks, and so I'm like I could make myself feel better I don't know why I would ever want to do this by the person that has never started their podcast. I was like, oh well, at least I've done a year, right, so that's the attend your own party.

Bevin Farrand: 25:32

The moments, not minutes, is focusing on the moments not to be missed. That doesn't mean all the good moments, right. The people who were willing to sit with me in the moments after I lost Mark truly saved my life. I don't know how I would have navigated those first weeks and months without them, because they were willing to sit in the hard, they were willing to be there, and so we're focused on those moments not to be missed, and we're also focused on being fully present in them, so that when I'm here with you and I'm fully present in this moment, I can't be with my kids, I can't be with other clients, I can't be whatever, I can't be working out, I can't be taking a nap, all those things. But because I'm willing to be fully present with you, then when I'm with my kids, I'm fully present with them and I don't feel that pull of guilt and trying to straddle multiple moments, which is impossible anyway. So we're just willing to say, okay, I'm here for this moment. Does that make sense? It?

Danielle La Rose: 26:43

makes complete sense, and I just got to also plug here that you just had a recent podcast episode where you talked about this and I am not, obviously I am not a mom, but if you are listening and you are a mom, that episode I can imagine would transform your whole mindset around that, because I hear so many women right With that quote unquote mom guilt of trying to be perfect, trying to be the great mom, but also the business and their minds everywhere, and so it never, a lot of times it doesn't feel like they're in those moments and fully present. But that podcast episode again, I related to it so much but I'm like, I'm not a mom, but I can only imagine. So if you're a mom, you got to go listen to that podcast episode because I think that would be really powerful.

Bevin Farrand: 27:30

But think about it, even with your husband, right? If you feel like, oh, I've been so stressed and frazzled and I just haven't been able to be here for our relationship and I feel so guilty and now I'm going to beat myself up and then it's going to be the cycle, what we have to realize is that we can create a moment at any moment. And so I was talking to somebody that I knew years ago and she had reached out actually before that podcast episode had gone live, and then I shared it with her, but she had been sick for three years and she felt like she had missed so much with her kids and I said, well, the beautiful thing is that you can now create a moment now. And no, you can't go back and get those moments, but you can create a moment now and anytime. I start to find myself getting really frustrated with my kids. This is why I don't recommend people just have one. Why? Because a lot of times, as women were told to do it for your kids and I'm like, well, my kids are driving me crazy, so what should I do for that? But when I feel that, then I will stop and I will say, okay, can we just reset, can we just like okay, maybe today has been a dumpster fire, but we have an hour left before bedtime and I can say we're having Sundays on Sunday, so we're gonna. We do that every week, so we're gonna. It's time for us to have our ice cream together, or the way I end.

Bevin Farrand: 28:48

The way we do bedtime is I always read stories to my kids. We have a routine and it's, yes, the routine helps them know that it's bedtime. But, more importantly for me, those are our moments, and I was sharing that I had recently had surgery and I can't put my kids to bed because I can't lift anything over eight pounds and they're all over eight pounds. But what we do is we read stories in our living room so that I still have that time with them, and then my sister or my sitter whoever's here takes them up and actually puts them to bed. That's a moment that I'm not willing to give up. So I am always looking for the moment, so like when I go have lunch with my daughter at her school, that's the best moment of her day and mine. So I think that is. I mean, you really did binge all the podcast episodes. I love that so much. You're gonna be like, so an episode 37.

Danielle La Rose: 29:41

I haven't memorized the numbers yet but Neater advice.

Bevin Farrand: 29:46

But yeah, so I mean it is. It's really important for us and I think it helps us release that guilt to say I can't be everywhere all at once. I need to work in order to make money to support my family. I need to have time with my girlfriends in order to keep my sanity. I need to have time for myself in order to be able to give myself fully. I need to have time to be with my kids. And the guilt, I think, comes when we're in that self care moment, thinking I should be with my kids, and then you're not really fully tapping into that self care moment or you're working, feeling like man, I really just wanna be with my girlfriends right now. So if, instead, we can just say I'm gonna commit to be as fully present as possible, understanding that that's not always 100% as present as possible, then we're in those moments that we don't wanna miss.

Danielle La Rose: 30:42

Yeah, okay, and I hope this question is okay. Do you feel like, since doing this and having this mindset of being present, being in the moment, that you feel like you get more, like, let's say, for work, you get more accomplished in the time that you're focused, or the relationships with your kids grow stronger? And if the answer is no, like that's cool too, but do you feel like that benefits you than to have that mindset that you do get more done and you do feel like your relationship's billed by being able to be that focused?

Bevin Farrand: 31:16

Yeah, I think it's a combination and so these four mindsets really dance with each other. So, because I know my damn manifesto, then when I feel that pull so okay. So my damn manifesto for my work is to share the damn framework with as many people as possible in as many ways as possible in order to create a sustainable, thriving business that both supports and inspires my family and the world. Like that's my yes and my six dimensional why? Because I know that. Then, on the times when I don't feel like I can be productive, I'm like that's okay, because when I am productive, I know I'm moving in the right direction. When I feel the question is so interesting, because I think recently I haven't felt as productive and I haven't felt as like present, and what I know in those moments is I need to go back to work through this process, I need to just get back in touch with my damn manifesto. I need to commit to the moments. So I guess what I'm saying is when I'm doing it, yes, absolutely 100%. And when I'm not doing it, I feel it, but that comes. I don't know if you've ever read the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz it's one of my favorite books of all time and he talks about the fourth agreement is always do your best. And I like to say always do your best and know more. Because when our best is just getting out of bed, if we try to run a marathon that day we're going to get hurt, but if our best is to run a marathon, if we stay in bed, we're going to be frustrated. So if we can just say what is the best I can do today and let me fully lean into that, then we're going to feel that moment, we're going to feel that presence always, because it's like okay, yes, okay.

Bevin Farrand: 33:06

So yesterday my sister came. We just had a lazy day with my kids. We watched a lot of movies, we played a lot of games on our phones. We just kind of did. We had a lazy day and that was kind of what we had the capacity for. Everybody's been sick. I had that surgery and I was just like you know what we did soccer on Saturday. We're just going to do lazy today. That was the best we could do and I felt okay with it because that was what we could do. My daughter at the end of the day was like ah, it was so boring. And in my head. I'm like well, if you could do more, you could have run in the basement Like you could have done more. Then nobody was stopping you. But that's where we have to like just say, okay, the best I can do in this moment is this and I'm going to do that.

Danielle La Rose: 33:51

Yeah, and I just got to also say I really appreciate your honesty because I think a lot of us struggle when we see people who are so brilliant and have all these great ideas and frameworks and they're teaching you know, like, how to build a successful business, how to speak on stages, how to love your body, how to get healthy, how to write, and we're like do this, do this, do this.

Danielle La Rose: 34:15

And so I think, by you sharing that, it really was just a okay like. So she also has to go back to the basics and do the things that you know is going to take you there. She's not on this pedestal right, this high place, where she's figured it out and now she'll tell you all the ways and then she's done right, Like it's this constant thing. So all the people that we're seeing that are preaching and sharing and motivating they have to do the things. They have to go back to what works and do the things for themselves to really continue on that journey. It's not that they figured it out and then preach it and they're perfect. It's really using, like, what has worked for you.

Bevin Farrand: 34:57

Yeah, and sometimes watching people have this image of perfection and not showing any cracks. You know, that's the D and the declares. Like if we, if we shout it out on social media, then we're actually removing our ability to be vulnerable and say, hey, it's really hard for me right now. No, look, I don't think anybody who wants to be in a position of leadership should be like, oh, everything sucks all the time. Like don't only share your garbage, yeah, but it's true, right, like it would be amazing if, having figured this out, nothing bad would ever happen again. But that's just not the case, right, I figured it out and then still, this year has been these last three to six months have been the hardest stretch of time since Mark died. I've had just a lot of stuff happen, personally, professionally, and it would be amazing for me to say, well, I know the do the damn thing method, so nothing bad is ever going to happen again. That's not true. Bad things are going to happen.

Bevin Farrand: 35:58

I know how to navigate them, because when things are hard like I had a bunch of money stolen from my business a couple of months ago and it was like I mean I wish that, like knowing that this framework, that would not have happened, but knowing that that happened, and then feeling the devastation and saying, in this moment I feel devastated. So one of the things I teach is called the pad method, which is to get present in the moment, which means getting grounded back in your body to acknowledge how you're feeling and then to do something. So when that happened literally the only thing I could do my sister came over and I just sobbed for 30 minutes, right, because that was all I could do, and then I acknowledged all of the things I was feeling furious, scared, overwhelmed, anxious, devastated all of these feelings. And then I could do something. And when there wasn't anything to be done in that towards that goal or towards that situation, that I could just do something to change my physical state, which for me is usually a dance party or a shower or something like that. I love a good, I know you, and I love a good dance. But so when these things happen and you get through them, then you say, okay, well, let me go back to the do the damn thing method. Let me get back in touch with my damn manifesto and how has it changed, how has it tweaked, and then let me find my damn people, either pulling those that support that I already have back in, or where are the gaps that I need to find, and then let me get my damn results. So for me, right now, for my business, that's what I'm doing. I'm saying here's my damn manifesto. I just reached out today to a business coach I'd previously worked with. I'm like, hey, here's the situation, I would really love your support to get my business boosted up in this area. And then I'm looking at what are the results I need and then I'm tracking them and I'm moving in that direction, which is the end of the damn framework.

Bevin Farrand: 37:57

So then now is the time that, again, the two parts of that are the hardest place to be. In. Any goal, any project is the beginning, because you're standing still, and so there's inertia. It's a lot easier to just stay standing still. An object at rest tends to stay at rest, or you're on a path that you want to change and an object in motion tends to stay in motion. So that's the hardest place, because you're actually going to have to put some energy and some direction to it.

Bevin Farrand: 38:27

The analogy I really love using is the metal death trap. Merry go rounds on playgrounds that are usually like rusted out and really creaky. And so when you were a kid and it was just sitting there standing still, it's really heavy. So all of you and your friends grabbed a bar and everybody had to lean into it and take those first few steps. That were really hard, but then it got easier. So everybody was running, running, running, running and then everybody jumped on and spun and spun and it was super fun. And if it started to slow down, all you had to do is stick your foot out and like give it a little kick and hope nobody broke an ankle. That's what it's like. Those first few steps feel heavy, they feel hard that you do them and those kids we, as kids, we didn't wait for it to be fun to start taking those steps. We just knew we had this promise and this expectation of it being fun, and so we were willing to take those first few steps.

Bevin Farrand: 39:28

Well, that's the beginning of the. Now is the time you got to have some faith that if you know you're yes and you know you might tweak it a little bit, but if you know you're yes and you move in that direction, that it's going to happen. And we use the second part of this, what I call microactions, which are the smallest possible actions that you will actually take. So if you are starting something and you feel paralyzed, your microactions just aren't small enough yet. And every single thing we do, everything we do in life, is just a series of microactions. They just as we do, them more and more, they get easier and they become faster and they become bigger.

Bevin Farrand: 40:16

So when you started your podcast, you had a lot of microactions. You had to pick a podcasting platform, you had to pick a name, you had to pick cover art. You had to decide you were going to do it. You did your first interview. You had to plug your microphone in, you had to plug this in, you had to put your headphones on. You're still doing all of those same things.

Bevin Farrand: 40:33

Every time I record a podcast episode. I'm still doing all of those same things. I just think of them as do a podcast. I don't think about. I mean I literally I came down here, I put my computer down, I plugged my outlet, I plugged my power in, I plugged my microphone, I plugged my headphones in, but I wasn't thinking about it as like, oh my God, it's such a big deal, so we break it down. And so for me, like I said, now I'm getting my damn results, I'm taking the microactions towards getting those results. I can't just say make $10,000. I have to say, okay, what can I do? I got to do some outreach, I got to make my first dollar and that will add up.

Danielle La Rose: 41:14

So good, bevan, I'm like I don't even want to talk to you anymore because I'm like I want to go do the things. I want to write my microactions.

Bevin Farrand: 41:21

You want to go?

Danielle La Rose: 41:21

do the damn thing right, go do the damn thing. Oh, it's so good. Oh, I could talk to you forever and just soak up all of your wisdom. But are you ready to? I don't want to take up all your time because you've got things to do. So would you? Are you ready for some just quick fun?

Bevin Farrand: 41:36

rapid fire questions. I am anxious, I'm nervously ready. Oh, they're so good. Let me name my emotions in this moment. I am excited, I am like in anticipation, I am nervous, I am ready. Okay, let's do it.

Danielle La Rose: 41:51

Perfect, all right. Okay, you can have one meal for the rest of your life. What do you?

Bevin Farrand: 41:56

choose. Oh man, you know I'm probably going to choose sushi. I'll probably get sick of it, but like I'm going to choose sushi, go for it.

Danielle La Rose: 42:03

Okay, I'm here for it. I'm here for exercise that you do, that you enjoy, that makes you feel powerful.

Bevin Farrand: 42:09

Oh, dance parties.

Danielle La Rose: 42:11

Yes, okay.

Bevin Farrand: 42:12

Do you have a favorite song? Our go-to song has been for years shut up and dance with me. But we also really like High Hopes by Panic at the Disco, and those also happen to be my two go-to walk-on songs for when I speak at an event. Like gets me like in the right mood.

Danielle La Rose: 42:29

I love it. Okay, what do you? Okay, you can only watch one show for the rest of your life. What do you choose?

Bevin Farrand: 42:36

Oh boy, oh man, one show for the rest of my life. You know I'm going to say friends only because it's like always my fall back and so, yeah, that's my fall Like. Obviously, right now I would choose something totally different, because it's what I think. I would say Daisy Jones in the six, because I'm obsessed with it. But if I had to look at the back, the 20 years, whatever since, whenever it came out I would say friends, I can't just have a one word answer for you, I have to have an explanation with all of it.

Danielle La Rose: 43:08

I'm here for it and, trust me, I don't think I've had anyone as a guest yet. That has answered in one word question. Okay, I'm going to try the next one.

Bevin Farrand: 43:14

I'm just going to say one word. Okay, now I'm like nervous to ask one statement, no explanation.

Danielle La Rose: 43:20

Now I'm nervous like what the question I should ask. Okay, what is a daily, consistent habit that helps you step more into your confidence and self-love?

Bevin Farrand: 43:30

Bedtime with my kids. I love it. Period.

Danielle La Rose: 43:35

End of sentence. You did it. I'm proud of you. Snaps for that. Okay, you already answered the song question. Okay, what's favorite form of self-care?

Bevin Farrand: 43:53

I do a lot of massages because I have fibromyalgia, so that helps my body a lot. So that's what I'll say. That's what I'll say.

Danielle La Rose: 44:02

I'll say that when I can sleep appropriately. Good ones, okay, what does being? Who is one woman that has inspired you in your life?

Bevin Farrand: 44:12

Oh my gosh, there's so many. One woman who has inspired okay, I'm going to say my daughter, guinevere, and I'm going to tell a story about this because I said one with one sentence, so I'll tell this. Yes, I was reading stories to Jonathan and Guinevere and I was crying and Guinevere came up and she just put her hands on my face and she said don't cry, mommy, daddy loves you so much. And in that moment, this two year old, who has this level of empathy that just blew me away. And I see that in her every day and I get to help her down a path of learning, of just being so like, she inspires me because I am helping shape her life at the same time that she is shaping mine. She's not really a woman yet, but she's female, so we'll go with that, it's perfect.

Danielle La Rose: 45:10

That was my favorite answer. I love that so much and I also love that I got to hang out with her, because she is one of the coolest little kids she really is, and I don't just say that she really is the sweetest, just beautiful human to be around.

Bevin Farrand: 45:29

She's going to be so excited that I was talking to you today because she just the other day asked me hey, mom, do you remember when we went to that party? And I was like, yeah, I do. I mean, she was just randomly. She'll just say that, hey, do you remember when we did that? So she's going to be really excited when I tell her, yeah, you remember that party. I got to hang out with Danielle today. And then she's going to be mad because she's going to say well, how come I didn't get to Well, please tell her that I said hello, yeah, she'll probably send you a video.

Bevin Farrand: 45:54

She'll probably be like let me record a video to send her.

Danielle La Rose: 45:56

Oh my gosh, I would totally make my day. I love it so much. Okay, so that will lead me in then to my final question of and this isn't a one word answer. It could be you, do you? Okay, what if there was one powerful piece of advice that you could leave for your kiddos? What would it be?

Bevin Farrand: 46:15

This is the statement I say often. So I don't leave it just for my kiddos, but I kind of leave this for everybody listening and just kind of the world. So we never know what's going to happen to us at any instant, to ourselves, our homes, our family, the people that we love, our jobs. That's not a reason to live scared. It's a reason to live fully.

Danielle La Rose: 46:43

Like drop, like I wish I had a mic here that I could just drop, because I don't even have words after that. I think I'm just going to like take that sentence, like take that little statement and I'm going to like put it on repeat. I'm going to make it a little audio for myself, just to hear every day.

Bevin Farrand: 46:59

I love that. That's so good. I'm going to take this episode and just put it on repeat anytime. I'm feeling down about myself because you've been amazing to like pump me up. So we'll both have this on repeat. Yes.

Danielle La Rose: 47:11

Okay, so everyone's obsessed with you now, just like me. So where can they find you? Where do you want them to hang out, or all the things?

Bevin Farrand: 47:19

Well, obviously love podcasts, so you can go check out my podcast, which is called All the Damn Things, and my book is available. It's like Danielle said, it's called your Damn Manifesto, and you can go to yourdammanifestocom or on Amazon.

Danielle La Rose: 47:34

Yay, and I will post all the links in the show notes so everyone can just click and find everything quicker. Okay, so I feel like I just got a whole hour of the awesomeness of you and I feel like I have everything I need to just go live my best damn life. So, but is there anything that I missed? Any last words that you would like to leave with our friends that maybe I missed or you wish that you would have shared?

Bevin Farrand: 47:56

No, I think that we covered so much and I appreciate the opportunity to share all that and I just want everybody to know that you know your dreams and you and your life are worthy and valuable and worth your time, your energy, your love and passion, and I really feel like we can all be living our big, bold, wonderful lives in whatever that definition is for you.

Danielle La Rose: 48:29

So good. Thank you so much, bebyn, for being here. You are amazing and incredible and one of the most powerful women that I know, and so I'm so grateful that you blessed us with your presence. So, friends, thank you for being here, thank you for listening. Please go by it See, find Bebyn everywhere in the world and go live your damn best life. All right, friends, bye.