This is a quick motivation episode based on a powerful conversation with a young woman struggling with confidence and my encouragement to her, and you, to stop focusing on the end result and instead focus on showing up and taking messy action.
Can you remember a time when you froze during an important event because you were so nervous you couldn’t even talk? I met a young woman who has been experiencing this during job interviews. I shared with her how redirecting our focus from the outcome to the process can lessen anxiety and elevate confidence. This mind-shift isn't limited to your career, but expands into health, fitness, and even relationships. It's about hailing the small triumphs and endorsing constant improvement rather than getting lost in the thought of the end result.
This is a quick motivation episode based on a powerful conversation with a young woman struggling with confidence and my encouragement to her, and you, to stop focusing on the end result and instead focus on showing up and taking messy action.
Can you remember a time when you froze during an important event because you were so nervous you couldn’t even talk? I met a young woman who has been experiencing this during job interviews. I shared with her how redirecting our focus from the outcome to the process can lessen anxiety and elevate confidence. This mind-shift isn't limited to your career, but expands into health, fitness, and even relationships. It's about hailing the small triumphs and endorsing constant improvement rather than getting lost in the thought of the end result.
What is up, powerhouse, listen, okay, I'm rushing out the door right now of a hotel room because I've been at a conference where I was the MC and it's been so much fun. And do you happen to be one of those people too that loves a good hotel room? I was supposed to be out of here like two hours ago, not actually like checked out, but like I told friends I'm like I'm coming, but then I just took my sweet time. I love a good. You know I'm by myself, I'm enjoying, just chilling, slowly packing my bag. Anywho, I literally have 10 minutes before I have to check out.
Speaker 1:
So I had to come to you quickly, though, because at this conference, I had a beautiful young woman come up to me and ask me lots of questions, and I have so much to share about this conference. So many nuggets. It was a spa conference, so lots of talk about, right, young girls and body image and social media. And, woo, girlfriend, like I had chills, my stomach was hurting. I'm like I got so much to say about this. So I'm coming back to you when I have more time to record, but one thing I wanted to share with you today is this beautiful young woman shared with me that she really struggles with her confidence when it comes to interviews. She currently has a job, but she just got out of college and is looking for an opportunity, but every time she goes to an interview, she freezes. She doesn't know what to say. She's like I get three words out and I'm stuck Like I don't know what is wrong with me. So how do you have the confidence to do things like you're doing here? Right, I'm in front of the room jumping around, talking, doing all these things which, if you've been around for a while, you know that I skipped every college presentation and took an F because I had a huge fear of public speaking. So what I do now is completely different than the person that I was before. And not to say that I don't have that fear and hesitation still because, girlfriend, it is so there, like my voice shakes, like I get all nervous, like it's not because I think I'm great now, it's not because I'm Uber confident, it's not because of any of those things.
Speaker 1:
And so she was sharing this with me and she, you know, and I was like, okay, right, I was trying to quick give her tips, right, the five steps that I do before a big event to increase confidence. You know, knowing that you're not, the person you're talking to really doesn't know that much. We all know what we know. And then other people have so many more different gifts and talents. And she was like I know that, I know that, I know that. And I was like, right, we all do. And so of course I said it takes practice. Right, go, take, go do 50 interviews, mess, you know, say three words at one and then say four at the next. Right, it's all about that action.
Speaker 1:
But the most important part that I wanted to share with you today that I told her was stop focusing on the end result. Who cares if you get the job or not? Right, if we are, we have a backup plan. Right, we have our job. Right now she has a job. So I said what if we just focus on letting go of the result? Who cares if you get the job? Who cares? Right, if we take that mindset, like if we take that away of the end result doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:
What matters is that I show up. What matters is that I share what my strengths and my talents are, and if it works for them, great. And if it doesn't, great. And this applies to so much in life when it comes to our health and fitness, when it comes to our finances, when it comes to real well, relationship, whatever. So many things apply. The end result doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:
You know, I share all the time about how my husband and I met. I approached him and I always say the end result didn't matter, it didn't matter, I love him, we're together, yay, it's a great relationship. Okay, I'm not trying to downplay that, but the point is, is that what I share is that my confidence grew in that moment because I approached him and said hi, my name is Danielle. The end result I wasn't like, oh my gosh, we better get married, we better have children, we better stay together until we were 120 and still dancing around, right, like that's not what it was. That wasn't the end. That wasn't what I had in my mind. All I had in mind is all I need to do is introduce myself to this guy before he leaves. It was the action, right, it wasn't the end result Health and fitness.
Speaker 1:
If we stop focusing on the end result of weight loss, which is what so many women are doing, if we stop focusing on that and we just say what do I need to do today to be healthy? Oh, I get to move my body. Oh, I get to choose some healthy foods Awesome, done. We're not focused on the end result, because the end result stresses us out. Yes, we can have your goals. Yes, it's important to know where you wanna go. But day to day, when we focus on that end result of like it has to happen this way, I have to get this job, I have to lose this weight, I have to do this we get so wrapped up in that that we lose ourselves in those small actions to get there. And so I'm asking you to stop focusing on the end result.
Speaker 1:
Just like I said of her, I said home, girl, listen. Stop focusing on the end result. Focus on just taking the interview, showing up to the interview and getting better each time and reminding yourself that you don't care if you get the job, because if we take that away, we say it doesn't matter, we don't care. I know sometimes they say it's you need to care, I get it, but in this moment, what if you just didn't care? Wouldn't you show up more of like, relax and just like, okay, I'm just gonna have a conversation with you. If it works out, great, if it does it great.
Speaker 1:
At the same time, I shared with her listen, stop focusing on the end result. And also, this is a two-way relationship that we often forget about. And so I said you're wanting to get this job, but they also need to hire someone. So you're going into this job being nervous and lacking confidence because you want the end result of getting the job. But it may be if we approach it in a way where we say I also have to make sure this is a place where I want to work.
Speaker 1:
Ask questions right, show up and say, yes, I would love this job. Here's my credentials, here's what I'm passionate about, here's what I do. Here's how I can support you. Now you tell me how is it working here? What are you looking for? How can I best support? What strengths do you think that you need, in a position like this, for me to decide if I even want this job? And so that way it's less of. I have to get this job. I have to impress them, I have to do this and instead of just saying, okay, what happens happens, let's have a conversation. And so this might apply to a job for you, but maybe it's other parts of your life, a relationship. You don't have to sell yourself to someone else I mean, you're selling yourself to them but also you get to decide are they the right one for you too? And so I'm encouraging you today to take this message and decide.
Speaker 1:
If you're holding on too tight to the end result and that is preventing you from taking the action that you really want to take, and it's stressing you out and it's overwhelming you and you kind of get stuck. You may be getting stuck because you're focused on the end result and it hasn't happened yet. Let go of the end result. What can we do today to become and be the person that we want to be that will move us one step closer to that end result, without being overwhelmed and worrying about accomplishing the end result. All right, that's all I got. Go, take action, do the things. I have now Just a couple of minutes to check out in my hotel.
Speaker 1:
Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. This serves and support you. Please share it with me. Tell me I want to hear from you and how these messages are landing with you, and do me a solid if this supported you and you're like oh my gosh, my bestie needs to hear this, or my friends on social media really should listen to an episode like this. Please share it. The goal is to help women and girls look in the mirror every single day and love who they see. So let's link arms on this mission together and do that by sharing positive, encouraging messages. Thank you for being here. You are pretty powerful. I will chat with you next time.
