Embracing Self-Love Through the Five Love Languages: A Practical Guide to Self-Appreciation

Have you ever caught yourself pouring love into others but struggling to sprinkle even a bit of that affection upon yourself? This Love Month, we venture into the heart of self-appreciation, moving past the generic self-love mantras and into actionable territory. My journey, laced with skepticism towards the usual self-love narratives, has led me to an epiphany that I'm thrilled to share with you. By harnessing the power of the Five Love Languages, we can transform the way we treat ourselves. This episode isn't just about feel-good talk; it's about hard-hitting, practical ways to show yourself the love you readily give to others, whether that's through personal treats, intentional solo time, or uplifting self-dialogue.

This is for you if you're ready to build a sturdy bridge to self-love that can withstand the weight of doubt and criticism. It's time to silence those objections about being too busy, too stressed, or too anything to focus on yourself. Let's explore how a simple note, a cherished coffee, or extra minutes under the warm shower can all be acts of self-affection. As you experiment with these strategies and share your triumphs, you'll see this is more than just self-care—it's a revolution in recognizing your own worth and fortifying your self-trust. So come along, listen in, and let's celebrate the love that starts with you.

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Transcript

Danielle La Rose: 0:10

Hi friend, it is Love Month, and by that I mean at the time of recording this, it is now officially February and so, if you are listening to this in February, happy February, and we are all about love this month. Right, we got Valentine's Day and Gallantines Day and we're just all about this love, and here we are going to apply it to ourselves by talking about how do we create, how can we create, more self-love. Okay, I just be honest with you, because we're friends now. I'm so tired of seeing self-love. Gururus and I did air quotes there telling us how to love ourselves. Just wear the bikini, just do this, just say affirmations, just b right, and it's so much fluff. And again, it works, for it works.

Danielle La Rose: 1:03

I'm a fan of affirmations. I'm a fan, okay. However, if you're like me, you're probably like okay, this is real fluffy. I need concrete things, like I truly struggle with loving myself. What can I actually do? Things that are real, not that affirmations aren't real, because I'm about to talk about affirmations in just a second but more concrete, like how can I truly create more self-love? Why am I? I feel like I'm all over the place, but I really just for me so many things in this space in the world are just so fluffy and just so cute and just so like, just breathe in. If you're someone like me, like I'm hype, I'm turning up, I got some hip hop going, I got some. I'm on a different energy, a different vibe, and so I like to just be giving concrete things like this will actually help you create more self-love. This will help you actually love your body in more tangible ways than just like think about how much you love yourself. You know, I'm just I'm, it's just, it's just not my jam. Okay, if it's your jam, great, do you do what works for you. But I'm gonna throw out a different idea, a different system of strategies that you can use to love yourself, using the five love languages. And again, I thought that this was perfect timing with this month, that we really dig into this. So I want you to think about a time when you were dating someone. Right, you're that person. Okay For me.

Danielle La Rose: 2:39

When I met my now husband the first couple of months, now I'm like, can we please go back to that? No, I'm just kidding, he's great. But when I think back to that, I'm like man, he used to always randomly bring me french fries and flurries. I mean, the dude knew how to get you know, he knew how to win me over. It's not that, it's really not that difficult. And men are, or women if you're listening and you're like, I don't know how to make my partner happy, food is probably an answer okay, it just, it just is it. Just, it really is.

Danielle La Rose: 3:12

So I remember he would do those things and then we spent so much time together, right, and we, of course, we're hugging and all the things, and then so we got all this stuff and we have, and then he would tell me how amazing I am, right, and I would do the same thing for him. Oh, my gosh, you're so wonderful, you're so cute, you're just the best. Right, I would do cute little things, right, I wanted to make dinner and then you know like, and then I would get him like, gifts, right, and then we would spend again so much time together. And so, when we think about the relationships that we try to build, whether it's with a romantic partner or a new best friend, especially as adults, right, what do you do with friends? My friend fusing me rolling with a whole bunch of the Blingie Starbucks cups. My best friend buys those for me. Okay, I don't even buy it myself, just randomly she'll bring me those. I'm like, oh my gosh, that's so nice, right. And then I see random Barbie things and I buy it for her because she's obsessed with the Barbie movie, you know.

Danielle La Rose: 4:09

And so we do these things because we want to show other people love, right, we spend quality time, we tell them how awesome they are, we do random acts of kindness for them, we, right, we give them hugs, we give them gifts because we want to show them how much we love them. And also we want to impress them and they want to do the same for us. And so, as I was thinking, you know, not too long ago I really struggled with my own body image and confidence and I'm a work in progress, just like everybody else. But as I have studied through my education with sociology and I taught at a college and you know just my whole journey with health and wellness, I really I read the book the Five Love Languages and I was like, wow, this is really cool. But then I thought, hmm, what if I could apply this to myself? Right, this sounds great. How do I show other people love?

Danielle La Rose: 5:08

But I think I'm pretty good at trying to make other people happy my whole life. I think that's what most girls are taught, right? Your goal is just to make everyone else's lives better. You do everything for them. What if I applied this to myself and really tried to create more self-love using these actions? And so that's what I decided to do, and so I want to share with you, and I want to challenge you today. If you are someone like me who is doing everything for everyone else and you're constantly thinking about other people and you put yourself last and you're wondering why you're looking in the mirror, struggling to love who you see and you maybe even forget who you are, then I want to challenge you to do some of this today.

Danielle La Rose: 5:53

So, as we know, if you've never read the Five Love Languages, it's literally just sharing how we receive love and how we can build love with other people, right, based on their love language. So, for example, the first one is words of affirmation, right, telling other people how wonderful they are. So how can we apply this to ourselves to build our own self-love If we know that majority of us feel love based on with words of affirmation? How do we give that to ourselves, right? And so that's where I was at the beginning of this where I was like you know, fluffy affirmations, but it but affirmations done in a way. So what I would challenge you to do if you're like me and you're like, affirmations are great, right, because when we think of affirmations, we think of, I'm wonderful, I'm great, I'm right. You can even tell, by the way, I just started saying that it just feels like something you're supposed to repeat to yourself. So I want to challenge you, as you're going through this, to build your own self-confidence.

Danielle La Rose: 6:48

When we're thinking about words of affirmation, can you look at yourself in the mirror and say something that is true, right? If I said, oh my gosh, danielle, your legs are so beautiful, I love the cellulite on them, it's so great, my brain instantly is like what are you talking about? That's not even close to what you think or feel. Like that's that, it's so off. Like it's so off, right. Or if I said, danielle, you're so wonderful, you're basically a billionaire, I mean, come on. So I think for a lot of us, when we think of affirmations, if we've never done them before, we think of those things of. You know, they're so big and so just out there that they don't even feel believable, so let's make them believable.

Danielle La Rose: 7:31

So, your words of affirmation, yo, if you want to hype yourself up like I use some of Eminem's lyrics as my affirmations I'm like homegirl. Like you are taking the actions. I'm so freaking proud of you, right, like, do you realize what you just did yesterday, do you? Yo, you killed that workout. Like, you modified the crap out of what you needed to and you literally finished that workout that you didn't even think you could. Yes, girlfriend, right, and so they.

Danielle La Rose: 8:01

This can literally be conversations with yourself, hyping yourself up based off of things that have happened or things that you're taking action on. So sure, if you're like you know, I do want to be a billionaire, great, but right now you might not be in that mindset. So what can you say now? Right, did you earn a hundred extra dollars yesterday? Where you can be like girlfriend, do you see your bank account is literally growing? How freaking awesome is that? Like, you're killing it. Right, you're taking the actions, and so you're saying things that are true and real, and while also saying things that will challenge you and push you to see yourself in that positive light. So what are you going to start saying to yourself? Right, using the words of affirmation to show yourself more love.

Danielle La Rose: 8:48

The next one is acts of service, so doing small things for other people, right? So, like I said, maybe cooking dinner for someone or you're cleaning, or you're right, like you do something just completely random to just surprise them, to be like, yeah, I did something for you. When was the last time you did something special for yourself? Maybe it's taking yourself out on a date. Maybe it's buying yourself that bag that you wanted. Maybe it's right. Maybe it's just reading a book in silence and that's your active service to yourself. Maybe it is cleaning. Maybe like homegirl. Like my house is a disaster. You know, what would feel really good to me is if my house was clean, and so, like, I'm going to serve myself and do that. Now, if you're someone like me, that doesn't sound like a great active service for myself. If someone else did that for me, yes, that, but me doing it doesn't make me feel loved. Okay. So it's all about you and what would feel good to you.

Danielle La Rose: 9:43

So what sort of acts of service can you do for yourself that will help build your love with you? Because, look, at the end of the day, the five love languages is to build a healthy relationship. We're trying to build a healthy relationship with ourself. We put so much energy and effort into building relationships with other people and we forgot to put the time and the energy into building the healthy relationship with ourself. So this is all. Just. How can I date myself? Essentially, right. How can I take her out on a date? How can I, you know, give her height messages? How can I serve her? How can I write these types of things?

Danielle La Rose: 10:17

The next one is physical touch, which kind of sounds funny when you're thinking about self love. But hey, girlfriend, you do, you, but you know you take physical touch for yourself however you want to. I am going to say that physical touch could be really anything. Maybe you need to pat yourself on the back, literally, because you don't give yourself enough praise. Maybe you need to give yourself a hug and again, that sounds funny, but that's a real act of love Hugging yourself, maybe while saying your affirmation Hug yourself. How can you just be present, right? Maybe it's holding your own hand and just thinking about how powerful you are and how grateful you are. Right, it can be so simple, but it's just making ourselves stop in the day and pay attention to us, pay attention to who we are, what we right, like I'm looking at my, I'm literally right now like looking at my hand and like you know when was the last time you just looked at the little lines on your hand? You know, I don't know if there's any meaning to those, but like huh, like I get to be more present and aware with myself, and so maybe that's all physical touches, right? You, you decide what that is, but how can you use physical touch to build self-love with yourself?

Danielle La Rose: 11:41

And then the next one is obviously gifts, which is even is this probably the simplest one? And it can be a gift that is expensive, if you desire, or it can just be a simple gift, right? Maybe writing yourself a note People love when they get notes, a handwritten notes. Maybe it's handwriting a note to yourself. Maybe it's a simple trip to Starbucks by yourself or wherever you like to get your coffee and, you know, just enjoying a coffee by yourself. Maybe it's buying a pen I'm looking at my favorite pens or maybe it's buying a new hair product or maybe whatever. You get the point right. Show yourself in gifts, and it doesn't need to cost a lot of money, but show yourself some love and appreciation with some gifts or a gift whatever.

Danielle La Rose: 12:37

And the last one is quality time. And I know many of you will fight me on this because you're like, you know I don't have time as that is and I get you, sister, same. But if you truly want to build that healthy relationship, think about it. If you met a new, if you were on the hunt for a spouse and you found someone and you were like I'm sorry, I'm too busy to ever hang out with you, I'll see you in three months, they'd be like okay, well, I ain't got time for that. Like bye, so same with you. Right, you deserve to have some quality time with yourself to build that healthy relationship. Because if you ignore that time with yourself, you will never build that healthy relationship because you're not putting the time and energy into it.

Danielle La Rose: 13:20

So in time can be simple. Maybe it's sitting outside in your car for five extra minutes before you walk inside the house and don't act like you don't sit out in your car in silence before you go inside your house I know you do. Or maybe it's, you know, asking someone for help and taking that time to go get a manicure. Maybe it's, you know, spending a few extra minutes in the shower just with your thoughts. Maybe it's taking the time to read a book or to watch your favorite show that you never get to watch, or taking a nap, right? What is it that you can do by yourself to create?

Danielle La Rose: 13:58

And again, I'm not saying this is easy, don't come at me and be like I got kids, I got this, I got that, I know. Okay, I know. I'm just saying can you find a way to take five minutes for yourself in some sort of way, to just be present with yourself, present with your thoughts, and to dig into this whole idea of the five love languages, to really build that healthy relationship with yourself? Because I know it's the relationship that you are not pursuing, you're not investing in, you're not loving on, you're not appreciating enough. And if you would take the time to build that healthy relationship using the five love languages again, because, like I said at the beginning, the fluffy stuff is great, I'm all about the fluffy stuff, it's cool, use it, do what works for you.

Danielle La Rose: 14:46

But the five love languages gives you literally five different ways to treat yourself, as if you're in a relationship with yourself, and I think we forget that we are. We are the only one that we are ever like. This is the longest relationship you're ever going to be in is the one with yourself. This is the only relationship where you're going to hear the thoughts and the true beliefs your whole life. So how can we grow that relationship in a healthy way to truly build that confidence? Because, at the end of the day, that's what this is all for. When you really learn how to love yourself and love who you are and treat yourself in a healthy, loving, respectful way, it builds trust with you. And we know that confidence is simply a trust and belief in yourself. So if you trust and believe in yourself because you focused on that relationship with yourself, your confidence will start to grow faster, stronger. So if you desire more confidence, we got to start by creating a healthy relationship with ourselves, and these are five ways that you can do that simply, every single day, or choose one each day to focus on to really build that relationship.

Danielle La Rose: 16:14

Okay, I would love to hear from you, sister. Are you trying these? Can you try these? Hit me up on social media, tell me all about it, tell me what you did, share how it's going for you. I would love to shout you out and really honestly, just hear from more than I hear from my clients. I hear from myself, but I want to hear from you. Did this work for you? Did you enjoy this? Is this a new way of viewing confidence and self-love that serves you, and I'd love to talk more about it.

Danielle La Rose: 16:45

So hit me up, send it to me on social DM me, do all the things and I hope and know that you will have a powerful day because you're making the decision to grow your healthy relationship with yourself. So until next time, my friend, thank you for being here, thank you for listening. If this served you and you're like hmm, I think I know some women that this could serve in support, just click, share, like. Share this on your socials, tag me in your stories and the more women that we can help build their confidence and their self-love and increase their body. It's just so magical. So we're in this together. Let's do this. Have a powerful day. Goodbye, friend.