absurd wisdom
What lies beyond understanding? Beyond certainty? Listen in to conversations between a.m. bhatt and colleagues, confidants, and important thinkers as they tackle questions both timely and timeless, and chat about maintaining your humanity in an ever-evolving world.
You can find a.m. on Instagram and Substack at @absurdwisdom. We are produced and distributed by DAE Presents, the production arm of DAE (@dae.community on Instagram and online at mydae.org).
absurd wisdom
Ontological Stay-cation, New Year's Reset, 3 Folders System, and The Taste of Stardust
In this episode of absurd wisdom, a.m. is joined by DAE educators Kyley Komschlies, Mohameth Seck, and Sam Ascencio for a conversation spanning multiple subjects but primarily revolves around being present in the now, commitments, societal pressures, and self-awareness. It touches on topics such as the nature of "now", how individuals' commitments shape their experiences, mental practices for maintaining focus and awareness, as well as the societal marketing schemes that influence people, their desires, and happiness. Towards the end of the episode, they discuss the concept of future resilience, the importance of real human connections, and the idea of living in constant "nows".
You can find a.m. on Instagram and TikTok at @absurdwisdom. We are produced and distributed by DAE Presents, the production arm of DAE (@dae.community on Instagram and online at mydae.org).
The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of any entities they represent. While we make every effort to ensure that the information shared is accurate, we welcome any comments, suggestions, or correction of errors.
You can contact us at daepresents@mydae.org.
No, is to be within a specific discipline, a specific world, a specific reality to know is extremely useful for getting things done within that particular discipline or world or reality to be an effective doctor or a pastry chef or a financial analyst. There's much that is critical to know, but knowing by its nature is bounded by and in fact reinforcing of the reality within which it occurs. For 25 years, I've worked with executives in large organizations, grad students, tech entrepreneurs, religious leaders, and no doubt my toughest client, myself. I'm developing the capacity to explore what lies beyond knowing, beyond certainty at a practical level. This work is required for things like innovation, but more importantly, I found that this inquiry is critical for maintaining one's humanity. Oh, and if you're generous enough to be listening to these conversations, I respectfully submit that at any point, if you feel you understand what I'm saying, you're not listening deeply enough. Hey the voices in today's conversation are Kyley Komschlies, Mohameth Seck, and Sam Ascencio and our producer as always is Scott Amore. all are colleagues of mine at DAE. Let's listen in. I dislike year end, not for me personally, but just like, like, the vibe in the world. Like, everybody, like, is, always just seems very tense at the end of the year. There's like holiday pressure. There's end of the year, like, finish work before I take time off pressure. And then, you know, in the productivity culture you get into this, like, did I do enough this year? Did I, you know? And then there's, what am I going to do next year? And that kind of pressure. And then there's the, like, most insane pressure, which is like, I have to do something meaningful on the 31st. I have to go to a big party. I feel like it just, it just, it's always, even as a, you know, a very young human struck me, it's just weird. And so The other, you know, sort of, sort of thing about it I've always disliked is, is like, living in the Northeast, ending the year and beginning the year in like, cold, gloomy, dark. Like, I don't like that either. Like, just because, again, for me, like, you know, stories create Actual experience stories are our meaning, right? And so like, what is it? Mentally impose subconsciously. What's the pattern impose? What's the you know? When you end the beginning of the year like that's right. And so so the framework that I have is My year begins July 1st by year ends, June and so December 31st is the exact midpoint. And so my year begins and ends in sunshine and warmth And in the dead middle of it, there's a period of darkness and cold that is not about this intensity of activity and getting things done before the year's over or starting or any of this. But it's actually a period of kind of, you know, cold, dark, isolation. To kind of just calm and, you know, have this kind of just centered, calm, quiet midpoint. That often involves, always involves for me, family because it falls into that time of year and so it's just like quiet family time that's the middle of the year. And so that's like transactional whatever, but the conversation that I wanted to have that it opens up is just these artificial constraints, right? And you know, kind of time bound ones, right? And so. You have to be, you know we talk a lot about the entrepreneurial and the kind of productivity. You gotta be, you gotta have a successful business by 30. You gotta be married by 35. You gotta have kids by 37. Like it's all those kind of cliched things. But I think there are other kind of micro versions of this we can get into as well. And so that that that's the kind of space I want to open up is just this artificial timeframes, timelines, relationship to time. That we don't choose that have a negative impact on us, and yet we still kind of perpetuate.
Kyley:So many of them.
AM:You were excited for this conversation, so what do you got?
Kyley:Well no, I like, I'm just approaching, I actually like having the end of the year in the winter time. Because it is actually like, I don't like the idea of planning all my stuff out when I'm at peak productivity. I like having time to chew on it, and I actually use January 1st to like middle end of February is like a chewing and building momentum. So I'm actually working at Kind of my peak when I want to be getting stuff done as opposed to figuring out what I can do. Yep From that aspect I'd also the chaos I've I've also just kind of like fully bound out of that and so I've set myself up a world of like I'm not gonna stress myself over family and holidays over the winter time. So I'm fortunate that way but even like relationship with work, this like nine to five or whatever, eight hours a day, five hours a week thing. I find that I prefer to like stretch it out and have meaningful moments for myself in between, as opposed to having like eight on crush and then leave and do something else. That's one that I see a lot, a lot of it's hump day. It's Friday. It's Monday.
AM:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The office space thing. If somebody's got a case on a Monday, it's like that, you know, TGI Friday or, you know. Yeah. But for you, January to January works. Yep. But also
Kyley:that's after like 10 years of it not working and me being just like deeply oppressed in the middle of winter and not knowing what to do with myself.
Scott:Southern Hemisphere. What? You gotta move to the southern hemisphere.
Kyley:I was living in the summer, well I guess not south, I was living in, whatever, the southwest. So it wasn't like it was winter, winter.
Scott:You gotta be in New Zealand in the middle of the summer right now.
Kyley:Which is actually kind of fun to think about, that their summertime is January 1st.
AM:That's nice. So this is the thing for you, is the arbitrariness of it. Yeah. Right? And, and, and the unquestioning of does it serve me? Does it actually serve how I would have life be? And if not, cool, what's my other, you know, kind of frame on it, you know? Yeah. And so just kind of creating natural cycles for yourself as opposed to these imposed structures. You know, and there's a certain amount of it you can't avoid. Like you said, nine to five, like here, we got students that come in at a certain time, we can't avoid it. Yep. Right? So there's a certain amount of it you gotta, you know, gotta dance with. But so much of it I think is we just kind of take it on and it just becomes this burden, you know.
Kyley:Even the idea of like meals in this country is based around, you gotta eat before you get to work, you gotta eat in the middle of work, and then you gotta eat when you get done with work.
Sam:I have been thinking about that on a deep emotional level because I have just, you know, I found these two books, one about perfectionism and one about decluttering your house as a person with neurodivergency. And for me, like, I was left alone this weekend. My partner went to a tournament. And when I'm alone, I don't function. Like, I just kind of like lay in bed. I don't like to move. I get very anxious. So I was trying to reassess, like, my relationship with, like, hobbies, and, like, my relationship with chores. And I realized, like, all of the chores I have, it's, like, there's deadlines to it, where it's, like, if I eat, and after I eat, if I don't clean the dishes, I am bad at things. So, I've, like, been reading this book, which is, like, with people with neurodivergency, like, the way that you can think of it in different ways. Which is, like, for me, why I never do, like, Oh, New Year's Resolutions, because then I'm like, If I don't meet it by this deadline, if I don't have a SMART goal, If I don't have an exact plan, if I don't have a habit tracker, I'm a failure. Like, if I'm not, like, Marie Kondo of peopling myself, I'm not doing this well. And that was, like, a big reason why I was just doing horrible in academia. So, the way this book kind of describes things is, like, When you set these goals, you have these ideas, like, Try to reframe your thinking on it. So one of the things I said was like, do it for your future self. And so like, I'd be like, cleaning the dishes. I'm like, oh, this is a nice thing for future me. And I'd come home and I'd be like, oh, the dishes are clean! This is great! And like, it has been so much more productive for me. Or like, I deserve to walk to my bed without tripping over 15 dog toys. So like, if I clean just a couple now, that's okay. Or, I just don't feel like I can do this work right now. And I know I want to do this work And there's a deadline to it, but it's not clicking. What do I do? What if I just did it for 30 minutes, just 30 minutes. And then I took a break and I had like a little snack, like that's okay. And I've just started to learn that it's like having a messy home, having dirty dishes means you took the time to feed yourself and that's a good thing. So like, I've been kind of trying to apply this to like, Bigger aspects of life because I'm trying to go for a capstone class and finish my research and get it published And I'm super nervous because I'm like, what if I don't meet all these deadlines? What if I'm not like the exact way I'm supposed to be what if I don't have this achievement by this point? And I've started to just realize like I've run away from so many things because I could have failed it Like if I didn't graduate within this time, what does it even matter? Why do I even be a college student and it's like what if I didn't do that? What if I just Took it for what it was, let it be a failure if it's a failure, but at least I was a lived in person in it, rather than running away from it because of these arbitrary time constraints.
Mo:That do it for your future self part, I kind of applied it to my New Year's resolutions, but my New Year's resolutions start months before the New Year. Like, I usually start them last quarter of the year, so September, October, and the fall, to get a jump start and be able to have it. It's like this meme on Twitter, like, all the people are crowding the gym on January 1st, and by the time it's like January 7th, everyone's like, not there anymore, so I kind of like, try to build those habits towards the end of the last quarter to get a jumpstart and be like, okay, at this point it's already a habit, and I already got that goal, but yeah, when it comes to time constraints and setting deadlines, I, I figure it's now, it's the perfect time to just start it, from yesterday I don't, and then, you My birthday has kind of been my new new year. It's like everyone celebrates the We go around the sun once, but it's like, alright, I'll celebrate when I go around the sun. My birthday, but Yeah, I try to get the jump start way early. Try to build those habits. And then, yeah, do it for my future self in that sense. Because now I'm in January, it's like, I've already been doing this.
Kyley:Something I think about in both of those is like, the priority, like what prioritizes the time? And this is, I'm just kind of talking through it.'cause like, I think about like after dinner, after I've eaten, I don't want to do dishes. Mm-Hmm. Like, there's no part of me that wants to do dishes. And so if I'm doing dishes, it is to set myself up for yourself. But like, I'd much rather practice of going for a walk or like hanging out with friends. Yeah.
AM:By the time. Mm-Hmm. I am done cooking. Yep. There's not a single dirty pot left. I like clean as I cook because I do not want to after eating do that work. And like the counter is being cleaned as I cook and like the whole thing. And then I'm big, like I'm one bowl eating, right? Even when I'm entertaining, it's like we try to figure out creative ways to kind of keep it one bowl. And so all that's left at the end of the meal is two forks, two bowls, two glasses. Going in the dishwasher, cool, let's go for that walk. Yeah, and so, future self, it's like, my future self 20 minutes from now, like, really dislikes that, you know. And so, that works for me, and so, it's great. I know plenty of folks who actively you know, around me, who like, just, just hate that. Just, you know, just, like, just, just, it just feels like, weird to them. You know, like, you're delaying eating to, yeah, I'm like, And so it's just knowing yourself and knowing kind of, you know, what cycle works for you.
Sam:That's exactly what my book talks about, where it's like, if cleaning the dishes, like seems like this convoluted thing, and someone's like, but if you cleaned it the normal way, you would have got it done. But it's like, yeah, I wouldn't have got it done. Cause that method doesn't work for me. Like you're eating and cleaning because that method works for you. But if I tried your method, I'd be like this. This is the most stressful thing. I like lots of plates because I actually like cleaning dishes. Like, I like putting on the little gloves, I like listening to my YouTube stuff, like, I'm like in my little zone, like, nobody bothers me, this is my thing. But, like, cooking, also, it's like, it's like my nice little routine, but if you ask me to walk my dogs, I'm stressed. Like, I cannot do this, I am like, oh my god, like, there's specific times, I'm wasting time, like, I'm doing the same amount of time, but it's the way I do things, and I think that's a big thing, too. Everyone listens to these people like, Oh, you gotta start at the gym this time, you gotta do this, you gotta, you gotta rep like this, you know? And it's like, that's not gonna work for you. Like, if you're like a full time mom, right? And then there's, you're comparing yourself to a 20 year old influencer, you know? It's like, it's like, we have the same 24 hours! You don't.
Scott:If you go to culinary school the first thing they teach you is that sort of mise en place, you know, clean everything as you're going, everything should be ready and back on the shelf for the next person to use it or for you to use it for the next dish. I find it hard to do that. I mean, I'm with you, I'm like, I like to put on headphones put on music or a podcast or something and like use dish washing as a meditation. Take my time and pay attention to every little thing instead of just like, you know, rushing and throwing them in there. But it is, it is the thing that, you know, if you don't feel like doing it, that's no good.
AM:On, on, on, on behalf of, of, of, of all of the chefs and, and myself, like the implication that we're not paying attention as we're doing it is, is, is offensive. We're on our own meditative thing.
Scott:I mean, if I'm hungry.
AM:Yeah, I'm not, I'm joking.
Scott:I'm looking at the bowl that he'd prepared and, you know, Washington.
Sam:Oh, no, I've been doing mise en place like days before I'm like, all right, this is gonna be all the onions for the month I Have onion goggles for this reason. I got that for Christmas best gift of my life. I put them on like I'm going snorkeling It's like it's time 20 minutes put them in a little jar and it's so great I'm like, it's like oh like you need this many chopped onions using like There we go, a little scoop in there. I don't have to worry about this. I got my little mise en place in my fridge.
Scott:See, if you really wanted to multitask, you would have a good cry and leave the goggles off. I know. Just, like, let it all out while you're doing the onions.
Sam:That's for other people to cry. I'm helping them out. You know, this really reminds me of remember when this topic came up, I was talking to Mo because I like to read. I was reading this book about the theoretical physics of now. Like the theoretic physics of time itself, and I was telling Mo, like, one of the things that they mention in the book is, because of the way, like, time and space continuum moves, right, whatever we have as a, like, now, we are just living in a series of nows. So whatever you believe to be now will always have past just that second ago. So you're living in a continuous series of nows and those nows eventually culminate to become a week or a day or those things. And it was so funny because Mo was like, that's what I've been telling people for all these years. And I'm like, that's the thing where it's like, are you living in the now? It's like you're still living in the past, you know what I mean? And that's the, that's the thing that was stresses me out about people. And their, their New Year's resolutions. I'm like, dude, you made that like, if you're really, really relatively thinking about it, you basically made that 40 years ago, man. You're far beyond that already. You're over time. You overclocked it.
AM:So, a slight tweak on that, Sam. Because the way you said it, the series of nows, it adds up to a week or a month, right? So my experience of it is, is, is different. I, I, I've always said that I don't pass through time path. Time passes through me, right? And so, what if it is, it's like a boat, right? Where it is just one now. It's not a series of, it's just one now. And then, it is passing through a certain kind of space, right? And there's nothing additive. And it's, it's, it's this thing kind of flowing through us. But the only place you can ever be is on the boat. And there is only one boat. It's not like you're jumping from one boat to another as you move from one now to another. It's just one boat. This is my boat. And then, you know, part of that work becomes that I think the design of this society habituates us out of is to really tend to that boat. You know, to really have that, to really understand the boat that I'm traveling in, to really have hygiene around the boat that I'm traveling in, to really have an awareness of how that boat, you know, kind of, kind of deals with rapids and, and whatever, right? Because I think the, the kind of hopping from one boat to another is part of what, what, what sort of trips people up, right? It's like there's somewhere to get to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you're never going to get anywhere. So that doesn't mean you're not going to accomplish things. Again, look at this place. I mean, you know, three years. I mean, we're, we're, you know, we accomplished a bunch of shit. And we will continue to. So it's not like there aren't places, there aren't things to get done. But for me, you know, as an entity, whatever the hell I am, there's nowhere for me to get to. I'm just always going to be in this boat.
Sam:That reminds me of this DBT skill, it's it's called radical acceptance. And one of the things that you think about radical acceptance is just like, like if you're like in this really big emotional state, right, let's just say you just lost a friend and you're like harping over, I just lost this friend, like, Oh my gosh, like, what could I have done? What can I do now? Like, and you're thinking of all these things you need to do. Radical acceptance is just like. Living with the wise mind, the logical part, living with the emotions, right, and accepting that they're both true, they can both be true, but at the same time realizing you can't change those things, and one of the phrases that always comes to me when I'm trying to do radical acceptance is always like, I cannot change the past, my current present is the result of the consequences of my past, but in no way can I ever change my past, I can only be present in the future, and control what I can in this current future, like what I can in this current present actually, and whatever happens for that future is just. A combination of those consequences and that kind of really reminds me of that boat because that's how I see that concept often is like You know, you can talk to a friend and they can just ghost you never speak to you You can plan out this whole thing and they don't show up or they just don't show up the way you'd like But there's no way you're ever gonna change that you can only be present with yourself present with your emotions present with your actions and your goals and and accept that.
AM:Yeah, I was debating whether or not to, it's a very sort of abstract concept to drop in, in the middle of something like this. But, but this is, you know, I mean, MAOL shit. So now, for me, for us, there's a now and present are very different things. Yeah. Right? And so, it is very difficult for a human being, particularly a human being habituated to this, you know, in this society, to have an experience of now. And that what happens is you have an experience of present. And the present is now shaped by some temporal past and or some temporal future. And so as, as, you know, we use as examples on this and then that, that temporality has a a temporal depth to it, right? It has a bias and a depth, bias being past bias, future bias that has a depth. So right now we're sitting in this room recording this, all right, if we heard a loud boom somewhere, somewhere out here, right? We would have our, the temporal skew would be future, and it'd be a shallow temporal depth. We'd be concerned about the next, like three minutes. Yeah, that's it. You know, what's gonna happen in the next three minutes? Are we safe? Is everybody out there safe? That, and so that present that we experience in that, in, in that boom, has a shallow temporal depth and it's oriented its future biased, right? So then that now gets shaped in that way. If we're you know, sitting here at the end of, you know, the year, quote unquote, you know, where we started traditionally and I'm thinking, well, you do it in the fourth quarter. And I'm thinking about the next year, what, you know, what are the habits I'm taking out of the practices, right? My, by virtue of where I'm bringing my focus, my now is shaped my now, you know, becomes the present that is future biased. And has a, you know, medium temporal depth to it. I'm thinking now a year out, not three minutes out, right? I, you know, I go into therapy, it tends to have, you know, a past temporal bias. And often, you know, a high level of depth to it. Going all the way back to my childhood, right? And so now and present are sort of different phenomena. And, and not that this, I'm not, you know, like everything else, like I'm not presenting this as like right. Like this is how it is. It's a framework for engaging with human experience that helps distinguish some things. And so, so, why we find that valuable in working with people is, is if you can hang with that framework and then start to pay attention, how is my present habitually shaped? And for most folks, there's a pattern. You know, they tend to be temporally biased. Whatever is happening, there tends to be a general temporal bias. Pinging it back to past experience, or pinging it forward to what does this mean for, you know, X period. And attempts to have a habitual depth. Like, what does this mean for me? A high anxious state, a chronic high anxious state. Temporal bias towards the future, and usually shallow temporal depth. Right, kind of chronically, what's this going to mean? What's this going to mean in the next, you know, in the next day, in the next week? Am I safe? Am I depressed? Second disclaimer here, talking about clinical conditions, like, big disclaimer that I'm like, not intending to, you know, make big statements about these things, I'm just lightly referring to them and, and, you know, they require a lot more nuance, but depressive states tends to be a present that's shaped by past and, and, and most often has a deep temporal depth to it. Right. Yeah. And so if you start paying attention, you can see, you know, how is my present, how is my now constantly shaped and shows up as present in terms of its temporality. And, and paying attention to that over time allows for a certain kind of agility in, in, in how I can shape my present constantly. Instead of having it habitually shaped, and this is, so the last thing I'll say on it, and this is my challenge and, and why this topic, right, this is my challenge with the society we're in, because there is a chronic shaping of present, based on temporalities that are of service to machine outcomes and to the social order, and not necessarily at service to that individual. Said another way the design of society programs folks to shape their nows, i. e. their presence to have a fairly shallow temporal depth and future oriented. To kind of constantly keep you moving towards just far enough out. That you're going to do like transactional work towards it. Three months out, six months out. Three months out, six months out. Work is designed that way. Social media is designed that way. It is to keep you constantly, to have your present constantly be about what's going to happen in the next short cycle in terms of outcome, activity, etc.
Scott:I feel like in my Reading of, like, you know, spiritual texts and teachers and stuff like that, it became pretty evident that a lot of them point to the idea that the now that we experience is filtered through our memory, so it does have that burden of past, like you were saying, it does have that sort of, like, past bias, and then when you get into the sort of aspirational side of living that's future biased, and, you know, your ambition is sort of Kind of almost like a frozen thing that you're trying to get to. You're, you have an ambitious goal and you're not encouraged to explore other avenues to get to that goal a lot of times. It's just hitting the metrics along the way that you've sort of, either somebody's given you or you've sort of drafted for yourself. So how do you reframe your memory, like, you know, it's almost like we talked about when we were talking about AI you know, it's biased because it's based on what we feed it. So in my experience, what we have going on when we try to pay attention to the present moment is filtered through our biases.
AM:So again, not because it's right, but just to hold the distinction and you can call it different things, you know type one now and type two now or whatever, right? But what I'm hearing you refer to is present, not now. Because now by its nature has no temporal bias. Whatever word you want to use for it, you know, just it's the part of human experience that has no temporal bias. Future or past. But we experience present. Exactly for what you're saying, right? Because the past creeps in, the future creeps in, right? The body is the access point to now. Everything comes back to tea. A sip of tea brings you to now. Because that taste, that sensation, that warmth, that, the tannins, the, the acidity, all of that only exists now. Not in the present. Now I can start that immediate thinking about where did this tea come from? Great, now I'm in the present, and now it's shaped by all these other things. But the immediate visceral experience of that taste of tea, yeah, but these things, you know, the sensory stuff is all prior to us thinking about it in the, in the instant before we think about it. It is all only occurring now.
Mo:I think that answered my question I had in my head was like, are we technically living in, in a way, living in the past? Because for an example, if I touch a hot stove for the first time, I know it's hot. Now I know in the future it's not to do it again. But in a way, is that still me living in the present? Thinking about my past, you know, people say you don't want to live in the past, but in a way, I kind of, I kind of am.
AM:Expand that out to a kid who tried coding once. At the age of seven, it's like, oh, I'm not good at that shit, right? That was the hot stove.
Kyley:Expand that either way, but like, somebody even said to a kid.
AM:Oh, somebody said to them, yeah.
Kyley:You're not, you're not gonna be good at that shit.
AM:You're not gonna be good at that stuff, yeah. Yeah, that's math stuff, that's not for women, right? Like, you know, we don't have to go back too far. Probably yesterday to when, you know, women heard that guy there, right? So yeah, absolutely. And that becomes hot stove now, right? And you live there.
Mo:So I'm not living in the present, in the past at the same time, and then Is it future, will the future count too? Am I living all these at the same, at the same time that it's now, or?
Sam:I don't know. I feel like every individual person chooses to live in a different way. Like, you know, if you're constantly like, I gotta get to this thing, I gotta get to this thing, you're never really in the present, you're just in the, like, trying to live in a future that's not there yet. Oh. So you, you end up living in the past because of it. But I also think, like There are also times where it's like you're just always focused on the past. Like, I don't want to build a relationship because this is what happened to me last time. Why am I going to do that again? Like, that's always living in the past. You know what I mean? I don't know. Like, I don't know about living in the, like if we're talking about like the now. Like, that's possible in short moments, but like, it's kind of hard to be now all the time, because I think now would mean like, I'd have to get rid of all these biases. You know what I mean? I'd have to be like, ah. Like, like what I said earlier, I was like, what if I just came in one day and was like, oh my God, there's a dog here. How long have we had this? What is that thing? You know, like, it would be jarring for you because like, I feel like every day you see me interact with this dog and then all of a sudden I come in like, who are you people? What is this? This is crazy. You know? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. So I don't know. That's a great question.
Kyley:Something I'm thinking about is, what I see is when you picture this, like we've drawn, I've seen it on the board, so I'm fortunate enough where I've seen it on the board before, and I remember the lines, and I remember the whatever. One thing I don't see on that graph, like that, that form has concentration. And one thing that I've worked on over the past, I don't know, year and change, is I would look into the future, look at all the things that could be a problem, and then concentrated them to the shortest timeline I could right in front of me, which made everything the biggest priority of all time. And being able to be like, okay, that's actually, like, putting it back out where it needs to be has been a helpful practice for me to really manage a lot of my anxiety and stress in some ways and moments of time.
AM:We talked in an early episode of this, I shared the, the, the foldering, the commitment foldering, right? It's like, I'm committed to a lot of shit. Like, I'm somebody who just gets lots of interest. But, the, in MAOL, we talk about this three folder system, right? There are kind of three folders of commitment that I have. Folder one is, and so commitment for us is, you know, commitment for me is like, this is something not, I'm going to get right. It's not about that. That's promises, right? Promises is I'm gonna, you know I have 90 percent retention on students by June, you know, 1st, right? That's like, yeah, it's like a, it's tied to the equivalent of a goal, right? The commitment is how I'm gonna show up to play, right? And again, use different words on that. That's great, right? But just, there's this thing that is about how I'm gonna show up. I'm gonna play, you know, intensely, seriously, not intensely in a competitive way, but I'm gonna show up fully. For this thing, right? And so folder one is commitments that I have and that are and that I'm willing to give life to and in fact am giving life to right now. Right? And I've never, you know I'm not saying it's not possible, I've just never seen, you know, folks be able to handle more than two, maybe three actual commitments in any given you know, phase of their life, right? Like actually fully giving life to something, right? So, so Folder 1, commitments that I'm willing to give life to now, at this phase of my life, right? Folder 2, commitments that are legitimate, authentic to me, that are not right now. That just, I'm, I'm fully willing to give life to these, but right now there just isn't space for it. And so I'm going to intentionally put that into Folder 2. Because I don't want to delude myself that there's enough life for, you know, in, in, in this day. In this week, in this month, in this whatever, this phase for, for all six of these commitments, let's say, right? So that's folder two. And then folder three is items that I am legitimately, authentically committed to, that I want to give life to, that are not this lifetime. And so the one I use is jazz drummer. I have a full commitment to being a jazz drummer not this lifetime. I don't have enough life for it. The amount of life it would take to actually be committed. It would force me to drop commitments out of Folder 1 or 2, and I've just never been willing to do that. But I'm still fully committed to it. And so it's my deal with the universe. When I come back, I'm working on these things, you see how I work. Folder 3, when I come back, I want to work on that one. That's going to move to Folder 1, right? Or it's going to move to Folder 2 at least. That's a mental trick, right? But it's, when you said what you said, it's that, you know, that, that, that, that kind of, those kinds of practices, again, are they real? Are they scientifically, who cares? You know, for me, it's like, who cares as a practice, as a way to engage with this whole thing around temporality and my focus and, and, and my, my kind of mental health around all the things I want to get done. And it's a way to honor that I legitimately want to get done. I really want to give life to jazz drum. It's a way to honor that, while also honoring that I only have so much life in this life. Right? And so, it's, you know, it's a certain kind of practice, it's a certain kind of trick, whatever you want to call it, that helps me in my my present to, to kind of maintain my temporal focus. Right? On the, on the issue of can you constantly live in now, I'm with you Sam, unless you're going to live in a monastery or some kind of thing. To constantly be in the now is, is impractical in a certain way, you know? And, I think it's possible to cultivate the It's sort of like, like, can you always live in a darkened room? No. Because you gotta get some, get some stuff done. And so you gotta have the light on sometimes, right? But it's possible to cultivate the, you know, discipline and self awareness to know where the light switch is. So that For example, in developmental spaces, if we're with another human being, I can flip the switch and be fully in the now with that person, absent any of my temporal biases forward or backward, and have no, have nothing in the game, at all, other than the taste of tea, i. e. the sound of your voice.
Scott:So, so with with the foldering framework do you ever think about it as far as like And now it's time to dip into folder two.
AM:So there's a difference for you around dabbling and commitment. Like there are things I would dabble, like I bought a saxophone. I am not committed to saxophone. I am very clear. I'm going to dabble. I'm going to screw around. I'm going to have fun. I'm going to take classes. But it's just at the level of fun. That is not in my folder. Right? I'm just screwing around. It's like the equivalent of going bowling. At a certain point, it may be, it may catch me. And if that, if it does, I'm going to have to drop something from my folder. I, I am acting as hardcore in my folder. Folder one. And I don't know how to maintain the commitment I have for my professional life here, basically, here in UNH. Right? Teaching, education, you know that. And my commitment that I have to acting. And the commitment that I have to photography. I, I don't know how to add anything to that, at that point, right? And so some of these things would have to get removed. But, but stuff can absolutely move. Again, for me it's, but, but, but, I'm accountable for it. Right? I have to choose it. And so what I, what I, what I, What it invites at is a ton of freedom. It's like, I choose. What it requires of me though is accountability. Great. I get to stop whining. About, oh, I didn't get to play jazz drums, man. Life sucks. You're choosing not to give life there. I am choosing not to give life there. Because I am choosing to give life to my work as an educator, my work as an actor, my work as a photographer. That's what I'm choosing. And so I have to let go of this other thing. And still honor, though, that's a legitimate commitment for me. And I'm putting it in Folder 3.
Scott:What, what fold does roller skate go in?
Mo:Definitely the first one. But it's like on the third time.
Sam:Wow, you know what this reminds me of? So remember how I told you in my counseling, like when I was learning to be a counselor, one of the things that we did was my professor's like, come in, pick a partner, look them in the eyes. That's it. No words. You can't say anything. You laugh. You make a face. Anything we start over, right? This is a two hour class where we stare at each other. And I, you know, I think the way this conversation was like, Oh, anybody can learn anything. I was like, I don't agree with that because try to put yourself in that counselor's space. I had to learn as a person who came from a very neurodivergent space of like constantly living like, Oh my God, everything's going to fall apart. I am terrified. There's an earthquake about to happen. To like, just staring at a person being like, Okay, cool. Your hair, your eyes, your sweater. Oh, there's tea here. Cool. That's nice. We're just sitting and it's just, it was very weird to have to like go into that practice where it's like, what do you do? Where do I go? And you just get to sit there, just stare at two hours, just staring. It taught me a lot about life of like, wow. Learning to be present in them now, like learning to do what I do for my work. Sometimes it's like, I will have the worst day ever. Like, I'm just like, Oh God, like, I don't want to be here today. I didn't get any sleep. And then like, I'll see a student come in and they're just like, I can just see certain body languages. I'm like, Oh, okay, cool. Now is the time where I'm present with you because I've seen this. So now it's time for me to be there with you as like a support, like, I don't the, kind of the question is kind of really similar to what you say, it's like, what moment are you living in? Like, can I be in just one moment of now with someone else? And can you even share a moment of now with someone else? I have been thinking about this on a deep emotional level for like a week. I, I was trying, I read a lot of counseling books, it's my favorite thing, it's like, I love psychology of attraction counseling, and I was like, looking at my partner, I was like, You realize there's a difference between passively being with someone and actively being with someone? And yesterday for the first time, we sat in the car and I just, I was like, wow, I'm in the car with my fiancée. And I just, it was crazy, I was like, whoa. Like every morning I'm in the car with this guy, every day I'm in the car with this guy, but this is the first time I was like, wow, this is so nice. Wow, look at me eating mashed potatoes with this guy. Wow, so nice. I was like, look at this. Look at him just smiling. Look at how great all these things are. And then like this morning, I kid you not, I was walking and I was like, Oh my god, everything's so great. Everything's amazing. I just want to hug people. And then I'm like, I walked in and like something went wrong. I was like, Oh, cool stuff. And then I realized, I was like, Wow, that's how quickly you can shift yourself into this really great space by just sitting with yourself and being like. Where am I? I would love to know how to share it now with someone. If someone comes up with that formula, if someone ever researches that, I will read that book back to front because I have been desperately trying to figure that out in terms of relationships because I feel like that would fix so many relationships if you could just like, imagine if you could just flip the switch, like, aha! Now you're present of your toes and your tongue and your eyeballs. It would change so many things.
Kyley:Isn't that part of that, that practice you do where like, what are, what's one thing you see, what's one thing you feel, what's one thing you smell, what's one, like that's, that's what those practices are, those are, what do your feet feel like on the ground, what do your toes feel like in your shoes, that's, that's the, How do you get into what you're experiencing this immediate moment in time?
Sam:Yeah, the grounding. I want to know how to share it with someone else, so that's, that's the thing. It's like, that's what I want to know, where it's like at the same time you both get that look and you know. That, that's the thing I want to know, how to share that moment of now. I feel like I would achieve so many goals if that happened. Like, just so many like, resolutions would be done if I could figure that out.
Mo:I feel like I knew how to do that when I was younger. But then, I'm at the mall, and all my friends were all on their phones, and I looked at them and was like, dang, what are we doing right now? Because we weren't talking, we were, I swear, someone sent a message to someone on their phone. Like, I think it was just a meme and stuff, but I swear I felt like I knew how to do that exactly when I was a kid.
Scott:Yeah, I feel like, it's, it's, it is kind of ludicrous to think about, like, you're sitting in the same room with somebody and then you, like, text them, send them a message or forward something to them. Like, instead of just like, Hey, look at this. Yeah. Or, what do you want to eat? Instead of like, Texting. What do you want to do for dinner?
Sam:My favorite thing is to text until they're really absurd and stare at them. So I know when my thing comes up in their queue. And I'm like, I wonder when it comes up.
Scott:That's a good way to train to share the now. See if you can think about what's coming.
Sam:I tried changing it up with my friends. Where, like, we would, like, we'd all actively put our phones down, and I'd be like, What's one thing you learned this week that you'd like to share? And you'd be surprised, or like, there's like one friend, like, love him to death, but like, total space cadet. He's like, yeah, I was reading about, like, you know, like, the, like, the war that was going on, like, the U. S. history, and I was like, When, when, when do you do that? He goes, oh, you know, I actually read, like, history books for fun. And I was like, I have never known this about you. I have known you for, like, ten years. What? And like I agree with you, when you're like a little kid you're like, Hey man, you wanna, like I don't even know this person, Hey man, you wanna go outside and play? Yeah! Just go. Like the other day I was like terrified, I went to give my neighbor dog treats and I was like, For the love of God, what is every horrible thing gonna happen? That's, I don't know. I don't know where that, that, that comes from.
Kyley:Well your brain understands consequences as an adult. Yeah, that's true. And you actually can Like, as a kid, you can't process that. I'mma climb that tree. I ain't never gonna fall. Like, falling isn't even in my, in my, my opportunity of the situation.
AM:So I was just, I, I, I, I was on my phone I was looking for a line from, from Shinruku Suzuki. Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind. And so, so here's the line that connects to this, you know. Treat every moment as your last. It is not preparation for something else. And I think that, that part of it, you know, stuck in my memory. I'm sure I'm going to call back the exact quote of it. Like that, this moment is not preparation for something else. The taste of the tea is not preparation for cleaning the teapot. You know. I think that's another sort of practice that's useful here is like that each thing is its thing, and I'm engaging with it as its thing, not as connected to the next thing. And I have to live in the world, and there is a next thing, and there is a next thing, and there is a next thing, absolutely. But there's difference between, you know, intellectually and cognitively understanding that, but then as I'm engaging with the thing, engaging with it just in my body and putting that aside. And just engaging with it for itself, not for where it goes next.
Sam:There. That was like something that really hit me when I, when I got engaged, I got engaged on this past Christmas. I,
AM:you've said fiance and I met I've not heard that word before.
Scott:Yes. Coming
Sam:from you. Congratulations. And one of the things is like, you know, like, I was like, Oh my gosh, like, I'm just happy that we're just sharing like a new moment, even though like, I feel like we've just already been married for years cause I've known him for years, but it's like, Oh, like a new moment to share. And I like, I'd like to live in that moment where we both got engaged because it was just us. Even though like, I know my whole family was staring at me, but I was like, I'm going to pretend like you're not here. This is a me thing right now. But immediately the question I got was. When is the wedding? And I was like, I just got here. I just got here. Please. So like, then my head was like, Oh my God, I have to start planning this wedding, right? So we're going out and just me and him to go out to go eat, eat, right? Like celebrate our engagement. I'm on my phone the entire time. Like, Oh my God, what about this venue? And we're like, like about to kill each other. And then I like put down the phone. I started dying of laver. He's like, what is it? I'm like, do you realize how dumb this is? This is so dumb. This is literally the dumbest thing ever. I'm out here like I gotta be a specific doll. I gotta do this for this person. And I'm like, dude i'm gonna be real. I am literally a child trying to pretend to be an adult, man I got no idea what's going on. I just want to watch Wonka eat candy and play with some dogs I don't want to I have no work right now like I just I just like One of the things I say when i'm really just not with life and i'm gonna be in the moment is like i'm gonna go Roll around Like i'm just and that just means i'm just gonna be on my bed. You just live in just a little moment Like this is me i'm gonna roll around and so like this is something that's like Like, I'm just out here trying to do all this stuff for other people and I didn't get to enjoy the moment that I was just sitting with this amazing person. We just shared this amazing moment and I was so busy planning for this wedding. It's not going to happen for like maybe even two years or even if it happens, I had not even thought about it. It was not something I even percepted or wanted, but because other people put these expectations on me, I was like, now I have to have it by this day and if I don't have it by this date, like I was told the date was important. The month is important. I'm like, dude. It's important. Why can't I just like go get an ice cream cake and like sit on the ground? That's how I met this guy We just went to a park one day and I was like sitting at this park and he comes behind me He's like, hey, I'm like, oh my gosh. I know this person. Hello, and I just was telling him about how much I like the clouds He's like, what do you come here to? I was like, I just like clouds like I like the grass I like the clouds like I just I never really noticed it and I want to question what I was asking was like What do you think Stardust tastes like? Like if you could taste it, what would it taste like? And he would just come up with these ethereal questions, and we'd debate what stardust tastes like. So every time I was sad, he'd be like, What do you think stardust tastes like? And we'd go outside for a walk and talk about it. And I had lost all of these things because I was so busy, like, I have to have this relationship like this. It has to look like this. It has to look like this. And I was like, I never got to, like, live those moments the way I wanted to, and I'm now coming back to that, where it's like, I never noticed a little thing. Like, I forgot all the little things we used to do, all the little things we used to share. And it was like, we had a relationship. But the person I was in that relationship, and the person he was, were two different people than the person I was in love with, and I am in love with. And, like, re coming back to that has been such a really beautiful experience for me. And I've realized, like, how much society can really, like, mess those kinds of really beautiful things up for you. Because it's just, like, we've been looking at, like, Valentine's Day things, and one of the things that he always does is, whenever he sees things that look like skateboards, he takes his two fingers and does a little jump, like he's doing in Ollie. So every time I see him, yeah, every time I see him, I do a little, like And it makes him laugh, like it's the funniest thing in the world. And it makes me smile because like I'm just sharing this moment with this person and I just hear him laugh, like, just so utterly silly, or like when I make a face or he says something, I'm so disgusted by it, and he laughs. And it's like these things, it's like, I miss this so entirely, so momentously, I feel so much myself. But in the same way, I also realize mentally, I am not an adult, I'm a child. And that has been like so eye opening for me, it's like, I feel like at a certain point in my childhood I was like, I have to give being present in this moment, like looking at grass and just like feeling grass and just literally just rolling around and just be like, what do these covers feel like? This is great. I've given that up because I felt I had to because I couldn't be successful if I was present.
AM:You just named like all the work in the context of your relationship with your significant other, of like remembering those things. But it is the self. It's like that relationship to the self. You know, like losing, because there is no human being that started life on the planet as I can't wait to hit a goal. I can't wait to own X. I can't wait to achieve Z. Every single human being regardless of culture before they got indoctrinated. Was just their experience. Yeah. And then, I'm fairly certain Stardust tastes the exact opposite of whatever this taste is. Okay.
Sam:I argue it tastes like sour Blue Jolly Rangers.
Mo:Okay. That's just me. And I was just thinking, like, I didn't care about a lot of stuff until it was marketed to me. Like, I didn't shit care about it. I was like, no wonder life was so simple as a kid because you didn't care about any of that stuff.
AM:They started allowing, the FCC started allowing advertising of certain drugs on children's programming hours at some point in the early 2000s. I remember distinctly my daughter, at one day, like she would get to watch like an hour of TV at a time when she was little, like just watch a couple of shows, like two shows, I remember so distinctly at one point. sitting at like the table eating a snack or dinner and she's like daddy is the purple pill right for me? I'm like what? She had seen a commercial for Nexium in that one hour TV like to market it to right and in her head like do I need this drug? I have no clue what a drug is what a pill is and none of it but got in her head like she's sitting there thinking about hours later Is the purple pill right for me,
Scott:was it acid reflux or something? Is that what you're
AM:I think so, yeah. But, but it doesn't, but the thing is, it doesn't matter. Right? Right. It doesn't matter. But the idea is how easy it is to implant what you should be, what you should want, which it's so easy to implant that. Mm-Hmm,
Sam:It's, it's ridiculous. Like, I'm just now realizing like I'd love to study just to study. like it's just re-hit me now that I'm trying to go for this capstone and trying to publish my research. It was like, I just loved reading about queer stuff. I was like, this is just wow. Like, wow, you have these thoughts. Whoa. But it came to a point where it's like, I have to read this many articles or like, and it started to make me think like, I could never survive in queer studies. I'm terrible at, I'll never be good at it. Like, why am I even trying? And it's, it's ridiculous coming back to this like idea of like, I am myself. And myself as a person that is good at things, not because there's a standard of good, just because I enjoy the thing. And that's okay. Like, I remember when I would study, I just, I loved studying, right? And I'd be like, oh my gosh, this is great. Like, I would tell people all these facts while playing soccer to the point that, like, my teammates were like, shut up about geometry. Shut up. We don't care. And I was like, but it's cool. And they're like, we don't care. And I just remember coming to the point where I was like, I'm the dumbest person alive. I don't care. I'm terrible at school because of the way things are advertised to me. It's like, it's just, I just, I feel like, I feel like advertising specifically takes so much away from who you are in the now as a person that it starts to reshape who you're going to be in the future. And it's, it's overwhelming.
AM:Advertising has, I would say it actually shapes who you are in the present, and all advertising is oriented towards one identity, which is, you're not okay. Like whatever version of that that is for that specific product. But the central message of all advertising is in right now, as you sit here, you're not okay. Either there's something wrong with you, you need the purple pill to fix something, or there's nothing broken about you, but you're missing something. You're missing. I'm holding up my iPhone. You're missing this thing, this car, this experience, this whatever. But, but the central message though is, you know, prior to that is you're not okay. That's it.
Kyley:So creepy in my head when you say that. My headphones over and over again.
Sam:Opposite ASMR.
AM:In order to get you to want something, you first have to convince you that right now you're not okay.
Kyley:And you didn't even know you weren't okay until this moment in time.
Sam:I have been thinking about that because I've been trying to do like the student plans, right, and I've been trying to think like how do I help these students with this negative inner voice? So I've been reading like these books on perfectionism and then I was reading one of these books and I was like The term perfect basically means, like, whole or complete. Right? When you laugh, right? There is nothing more that can be added to that laugh. When you breathe, there's nothing more that can be added to that breath, right? It is whole, it is complete, right? So, you are perfect, and you will always be perfect. You're whole, and that blew my mind, because it was like, imagine trying to tell that to a student, like, I didn't, I didn't do all this work. I didn't, I didn't submit this thing. So I'm like, I'm not like everyone else. It's like, yeah, but you're still perfect. And they'll say, no, I'm not because I don't have this thing or I haven't done this thing. But it's like, but you're whole. You brought everything you could to this moment, flawed or not, obstacles or not. Anything you brought to this moment, right? The fact that you're thinking about that, the fact that you just are in this moment is perfect.
AM:I want more.
Sam:Exactly. That's the, that's the thing, right? But you are still perfect. You're still whole. That more is just something you're exploring for yourself. But it doesn't make you less whole. You still are.
AM:It's not about, oh yeah, go live in a cave and, and, you know, never wear shoes. It's not about that. Like, you get the car, you get the, it's cool. But it's not about that being a fix for anything. That being a remediation for anything. That being, it's like, you know, can you play joyfully in the game versus playing compulsively and out of a sense of deprivation and out of a sense of, you know, want and out of a sense of all of these things that were, you know. Because I think people play differently when they're playing that way. They're not seven cars anymore. It's a nice car. Yeah, we got a nice car. It's cool. It's not seven It's not you know So this is the balance right like, you know stuff nothing wrong with stuff stuff at school. It's great Nothing wrong with achievement. Nothing wrong with goals. Nothing wrong with none of that. But it's is it remediation for me? And if it is that's where we get into problems because that's what we get manipulated and that's when I'm just the day to day life experience gets heavy and then that Because just as can I be in the now with another person? Yes. Can I pull people out of the now? By virtue of how far I am out of the now, hell yes, and that's what a lot of this society is. It's folks bouncing around each other's noise and, you know, static, inviting, static, inviting, static, you know?
Kyley:Yeah. I always bring it back to what we do here and like, I'm contemplating how to be in our language. Like, even just like, where are you going to college? Fully just punt their timeline out, whatever, two years.
Sam:I usually ask, what does success mean to you, and what does that look like?
Kyley:How do you be aware of those things without making it the, the thing?
AM:It's about a, you know, for me it's what an artist actually is, right? It's, it's it's about being a source for the thing. As opposed to chasing the thing. So I did that in the early Holburton days. I did this talk around you will never get happy. And I firmly am committed to that. You will never get happy. There's nothing you can do. There's nothing you can achieve. There's nothing you can get that will get you happy. You're either going to play happy or you're not. Happy is a place to come from. And when you attach happy to an outcome. And so, you know, going for the car, going for the, you know, the goal to get you great. Where are you coming from? When you go for that car, are you going to that car to get somewhere in yourself internally? The thing's gonna be a mess. Am I coming from, I'm already happy. I'm already cool. I'm already. feel accomplished. I already like it's in trouble generating those things for myself. And then that's how I play. And then, yeah, I'm gonna get the car. I'm gonna get the business. I'm gonna get the people play totally differently that way. They actually play again an artist, right? And that's the great scam of marketing that got discovered in the early 20th century is if we can convince people that You don't source your own happiness. You don't source your own sense of worth. You don't source your own, you know, and convince you that it's tied to things outside. Cool. Now we can manipulate you with those things.
Sam:Reminds me of like I want to live as close to the edge, inching closer and closer without ever really falling over.
Scott:So I'm putting the Lamborghini in folder three.
AM:You're committed. That's, you can't be committed to a Lamborghini, but, but you're committed to being a Lamborghini driver. Is that the deal? Unless you're gonna go life to next lifetime. Next lifetime. You be careful, man. Like, you know, my, my, my, my view of kind energy is be careful. You put too much energy then, and that's, you're gonna come back is, you know, douchey type. Yeah. Man, you gotta be careful. Yeah, I didn't, I didn't wanna go there, but you know, that's. The universe listens, you know, not in some new age kind of way, but I, I think, I think there is, you know, again, I've said this before, just as, you know 500 years ago, if you, you said to somebody that you know, when I'm talking, there are these billions of little, little, little animals flying around that will land on you and change your physical health. They think you're an idiot or you're, you're some kind of, you know. You know, witch or sorcerer, right? But now we know germs are a natural thing. I think 500 years from now, electricity, not in some, you know, you know, woo woo way, but that we trade electricity. Micro, poly, our nervous system is nothing but electricity. We trade electricity, we trade electricity, and that the whole, you know, universe is a certain kind of power grid. And so, you know, just as, gotta be careful, you know, psychology, gotta be careful about the neural pathways that you keep reinforcing with your self talk. I think commitment creates a certain energetic pathway and that if you reinforce it too much in a certain way, you'll habituate the energy around you to, you know, it's, it's sort of like a collective neural pathway, right? That if I really double down on a commitment I'm creating a certain kind of energetic neural pathway in my environment. And those things just keep showing up now, right? And if I'm unclean about that, then things show up that are not, you know, not actually healthy. In the same way that negative thought patterns, if they keep, you know, if you embed that neural pathway, that thought just keeps coming up internally. That's, that's for folks listening that's been my secret to business for 30 years. I'm a shitty business person, but I am damn committed and shit just shows up. I don't know.
Scott:Yeah, the energy thing. I've been doing energy work with a therapist for almost 20 years now. And in the beginning, you know, skeptical, like, like everybody just like, I don't see what I see what it does and stuff. And the way it was explained to me in a workshop that I did in the beginning was, you know, the energy that we're talking about is real. I can prove it to you. I'm like, okay, how do you do that? Like, have you ever been sitting someplace or walking and you get that feeling of being watched and then you look and somebody is looking at you and like watching what you're doing. Yeah. Like everybody's experienced that at some point, like whether it's on a train, or like, you know, on the sidewalk, in a coffee shop, whatever it is. That is the sort of visceral energy that we're talking about. It's the, you know, focus of attention can be perceived on a level that's above our five senses. So that's electricity.
AM:Yeah, we just have clunky language right now because it's not an understood aspect of physical experience. But right now people use it in a way because that's just what tends to happen until we have some rigor around it. But, you know, give it, give it a century, two centuries, three centuries. If the AI bots don't kill us you know, we'll, we'll have a, we'll have a mapping of this.
Kyley:We almost know through one podcast about AI bots coming to bring down our society.
AM:Somebody this morning, somebody this morning pinged me on a, on a social media post, this woman in New York. Who's, you know, the Fifth Avenue, he's got walking her AI robot. Like a, a robot dog, like one of these Boston, whatever. And, like, walking the dog. You know. Why would you have to walk it? Well, because you walk your dog. But is it for her? Yeah, it's her dog.
Sam:She's living in a different kind of now.
Scott:Is the walk for her, or is it for the AI dog? You know what I mean?
AM:I mean, the dog needs to go for a walk. I don't know, man. I don't know what you're talking about. I And she, and the thing, she's giving it commands and the thing squats down. And she's patting it and I'm yeah
Kyley:wait, was this a satirical thing or a real?
AM:No, this is this is real
Kyley:Every time right in the heart
AM:Yeah, okay. And again, this is like we could tell this person is very, you know, kind of well off financially and you know Good. And I'm sure part of the rationale is, Well, it never has an accident in the house. It gives me all the pleasure of a dog, but it doesn't do any of that stuff of like, having an accident or accidentally biting somebody, or, you know what I mean?
Scott:Doesn't ruin my 40, 000 couch.
AM:Yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm, I'm guarantee you that's part of the rationale.
Sam:Sorry, this whole thing is just, you remember Catching the Rye where he's like, where do the ducks go? Yeah! This is like, that's the, that's the thing is like, I've been thinking about that my whole life is like, where do these, where do these ducks go? And that has been my one thing that grounds me, and I can't wait until it becomes an AI thing, like, where do the, where do the bots go? Where do you think they go? Do go charge?
Scott:There's gonna be a high rise charging
Kyley:we were doing so good. You're all perfect. You breathe.
Scott:Kylie is suffering from AI fatigue.
Kyley:Kylie is suffering from 21st century fatigue. I have my whole life.
Sam:Kylie, what do you think Stardust tastes like?
Kyley:I, honestly, there was a time in my life where I would, I would care and right now it's just like, I don't know. I'll go eat some dirt. I can understand dirt. Dirt I get. Sardines is too, too out there. I just want to, want to experience what it's like to, to lay in the woods and make stuff out of bark.
Sam:You also wish to roll around. Yeah.
Kyley:I'm, I'm uninterested in figuring out something that's beyond my human experience.
Sam:But that's what makes it fun.
Kyley:For you. My relationship with fun has not aligned with most people. I've, most of my like primary partnerships that if we go there's a difficult time with my like, let's go have fun. I'm like, all right, want to make a bowl or a spoon? And they're like, no, like let's go to a move your party. I'm like, are they making bowls or spoons?
AM:We're a generation of human beings that can really benefit from an ontological staycation. It's kind of, kind of out there, out there, out there, which is what the whole 20th century has been, kind of explore and explore. Actually, as humans, we've always been explore, explore, explore, right? Very natural. And now, it's like we're, I think, exploration saturated. Maybe check out the neighborhood. What's going on there? Is the neighborhood okay? Stay patient, yeah.
Sam:I'm sorry, that just brings to mind another pandemic and it stresses me out. I don't want to. No, thank you.
AM:No, no, no, we can be out in the world, I'm saying, but our, our, our attention, our, our, you know, you benefit from some attention internal. Tending our own little internal gardens.
Scott:I can do it while I wash the dishes.
AM:Yeah, of course you can.
Sam:My dog constantly lives in that state. What is happening in this moment, and then she'll find a chicken nugget, and she's definitely living her best moment.
Scott:Is this food?
Sam:Mm hmm. Dogs don't have New Year's resolutions. Actually, I should, I should, I should operate more like dogs at their New Year's resolutions. Not have any. Come on.
Kyley:I have some being New Year's resolutions, which are interesting to me. I'm gonna see how those, those go for me. There is some doing, but Some like, how do I want to show up? And, and figure out that kind of stuff. Which I'm excited to try it out.
AM:Okay. That's what I got. Okay.
Scott:Do you write your
Sam:resolutions down? Yeah.
Kyley:My brain's too tricky to not write something down. It'll, it'll fully talk myself into I was thinking something else in a month and a half. So.
Mo:Everything we just talked about, it's in the past now.
Kyley:And it'll also be in the future.
Sam:But at least it's perfect.
AM:Thank you for listening to Absurd Wisdom. This is A. M. Bott, and you know, conversation, real human conversation never actually ends, but episodes of podcasts need to. So we're going to end here. You can connect with me on Instagram and TikTok at, at Absurd Wisdom. You can find DAE on Instagram at dae. community or online at mydae. org. Absurd Wisdom is produced and distributed by DAE Presents, the production arm of DAE, and we'll be back with more Conversation Beyond Understanding next Thursday.
