Episode #8: Road Rage in the Workplace: Challenging the 'Man Code'

Embark on a profound journey with Sharon Wilson and Cindy LaCom as we dissect the unseen pressures molding the lives of boys and men and the repercussions that ripple through our society and workplaces. Together, we define and discuss the 'man code'—a set of societal expectations that not only can escalate workplace violence but also propel male suicide rates and the stigma around men seeking mental health support. 

As we pivot to the volatile world of road rage, particularly among males under 19, we connect the dots to workplace aggression and the critical role it plays in shaping an organization's culture. The insights we share are more than just dialogue; they are an invitation for HR professionals, executive directors, managers and employees to step forward and collaborate with us at TransformingCultureConsultants.com. The resources and strategies we offer aim to create empowered workplaces where respect and safety are not just ideals, but the foundation of every interaction. Join us for a discussion that doesn't just highlight challenges but also champions the transformation of workplace culture into a thriving environment for all.

Copyright: https://artlist.io/royalty-free-music/song/reflection/107904

Copyright: https://artlist.io/royalty-free-music/song/reflection/107904

Transcript

Sharon Wilson: 0:36

We'll welcome everyone to Transformation Talks. The intention of our podcast is to provide tips, strategies and inspiration to transform workplaces, communities and lives. I'm Sharon Wilson and I'm the co-founder and chief mindset and growth officer at Transforming Culture Consultants, and I had with me today our other Cindy LaCom, who is our chief impact and inclusion officer. In our last podcast, we talked about the gender wage gap and its many impacts. We want to extend that discussion in this podcast to talk about anger, its gendered elements, but also the potential consequences of road rage in the workplace.

Cindy LaCom: 1:17

Absolutely, and, as you mentioned, sharon, in our last podcast we talked about the gender wage gap and about how systemic sex is. A hurts girls and women, and it absolutely does. But we also want to recognize and acknowledge that there are damages to men based on a man code that are very pervasive. This man code, or some call it a man box, refers to the rigid set of expectations that we tend to place on boys and men to be tough, to be independent. To suck it up, here's an example, I think, that will probably be familiar to a lot of people. A little girl falls down, starts to cry. We tend to comfort and cuddle her, but what if a little boy falls down and starts to cry? A more likely response might be throw some dirt on it or man up, and this, this cultural expectation of toughness, hurts boys and men. One example that we've mentioned in earlier podcasts about workplace violence is that the women experience workplace violence more often. It is more fatal for men than it is for women, and I think this is in some ways, a consequence of this man box or man code. Teaching boys to be men isn't working, and I want to talk a little bit about some data that backs this up. There are four times more likely than women to die of suicide and in fact, males make up almost 80% of deaths by suicides in the United States. And we also know that men are vastly overrepresented as victims of violent crime as well. Men are far less likely to seek help for mental health issues and they're far more likely to be underdiagnosed for mental illnesses, and this is even more true in the case of boys and men of color and working class boys and men for all sorts of reasons. Data and biases about mental health are still pervasive in our society and I'm sure many of you know that this is really unfortunate, but there are additional barriers for boys and men to seek help in Baton.

Cindy LaCom: 3:26

Finally, when we look at the incident of injury in high school sports I'm not going to talk now about college or professional sports, I just want to focus on high school. What we know is that boys are more likely to sustain an injury, and that is statistically more likely to be serious than if a female athlete in high school is injured. We tend to think about football in this context, and we definitely should. Some data actually shows that basketball results in more visits to the ER. Head and face concussions are the number one injury for high school athletes, and we're learning that even so-called minor trauma to the brain can help long-term or lasting consequences.

Cindy LaCom: 4:07

Finally and Sharon, I know you're going to talk about this in a minute, but before we get there, I just want to add one more piece of data, and that is that males under the age of 19 are most likely to exhibit road rage. This is important because the number of road rage fatal car accidents has increased substantially in the last 10 years. This may seem really disconnected from a workplace culture. Then carry these cultural norms into work. Their impacts are part of most workplace environments, and that matters when we think of bullying and a workplace aggression.

Sharon Wilson: 4:44

Right. So I agree completely. We actually want to consider one example of when and how male anger can have negative consequences outside the workplace and then consider how that might carry over to places of employment. A recent article in the American Psychological Association tells us this. In studies of anger and aggressive driving, counseling psychologist Jeffrey Deffenbacher of the Colorado State University found that people who identified themselves as high-engard drivers differ from low-engard drivers in five key ways. It might be helpful to write these down, so I'll go over them slowly. The first one is they engage in hostile, aggressive thinking. They're more likely to insult other drivers or express disbelief about the way others drive. Their thoughts also turn more often to revenge, which sometimes means physical harm. They actually have a show on Netflix Beef and it's all about this. It starts with a rage. It was very interesting.

Sharon Wilson: 5:48

They take more risks on the road. High-engard drivers are more likely to go 10 to 20 miles per hour over the speed limit, rapidly switching lanes, tailgating and entering an intersection when the light turns red. When should you think about how many people you know that this might really shit? High-engard drivers get angry faster and behave more aggressively. They're more likely to swear or name call to yell at other drivers to honk in anger, and they're more likely to be angry not just behind the wheel but throughout the day. This is the key thing. What you should be thinking about is we really talk about this with how it impacts or plays culture can impact it? High-engard drivers had twice as many car accidents in driving simulations. They also report more near accidents and get more tickets for speeding. And lastly, short-fused drivers. Those high-engard drivers experience more treat, anger, anxiety and impulsiveness, and more of that innately, perhaps from work or home stress. High-engard drivers are more likely to get in the car or angry. They also tend to express their anger outwardly and act impatiently. So does any of that sound familiar? I can definitely tell you. I know some folks that fit into their category. If you spend any time in the road, our guess is that your answer is yes, big time.

Sharon Wilson: 7:15

And though you may be thinking, hey, I thought this was a podcast about creating empowered workplaces, we believe that these findings deserve more exploration in terms of various kinds of overlap with our workplace. Do employees who are feeling more stressed in the workplace from issues like we've been discussing in our podcasts transfer that to the road and possibly vice versa, if someone falls into the category of a high-engard driver, how is that person handling stress from real or perceived threats in the workplace, and how likely is it that they'll be able to simply drop it at the threshold of their job when they walk through that door? We believe it is quite likely that anger will accompany them to work. So, with this in mind, we want to offer some specific tips for you to consider.

Sharon Wilson: 8:07

If we think specifically about road risk-rages, we're knowing that the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety offer these three tips if you find yourself near an aggressive driver. These are really valuable because it's becoming more and more prevalent. Number one don't offend. Don't offend them, Don't retaliate. Number two be tolerant and forgiving. Assume that it's not personal. That's a really important mindset to me, and or else you could exacerbate a situation. And number three do not respond. Avoid eye contact, don't make gestures, maintain space around your vehicle and contact 911 if necessary. It's interesting to me, cindy, that we're talking about this kind of thing, but there have been so many situations of road rage that have been fatal just in our area here that it's unbelievable. So you really have to be careful when you are out on the road, because these kinds of trades are really causing a manifestation of this violence that we're experiencing in our communities.

Cindy LaCom: 9:11

Absolutely, and I think your advice is excellent. I think that this is something important every time we get behind the wheel of a car, that we should keep this in the back of our minds while we're driving. And I want to say one thing, though, and I know you and I have talked a lot about this there's a difference when you're driving and this is where we're going to actually transition and talk a little bit about the workplace culture, because one difference is that you know, when you're driving, if you encounter road rage, that incident is usually transient and temporary, so it actually might be easier to forgive and forget someone when we only encounter them for a few minutes, or to be non-responsive if we believe that that driver will just blast by and is like best, ignore them. They'll be out of our hair. What happens when that situation isn't temporary? What happens when we're facing road rage in our workplace, though you may leave an aggressive driver behind when you get to work? What happens when we have to deal with an angry coworker because we cannot just drive away from it?

Cindy LaCom: 10:10

While road rage, as you said, may seem disconnected to your workplace environment, we want to suggest that there are areas of similarity, and actually sometimes probably too many. Some of the tips we're about to offer can work in your car, but also in the workplace. In terms of self-care, a key suggestion we want to make is this you find yourself confronted with an aggressive driver or an angry or aggressive coworker, try to remember to slow down, take five deep breaths. This can lower your heart rate and your blood pressure. It can actually help you center your emotions. Remember that typically, neither angry drivers nor angry colleagues are really considering their potential impacts on those who are around them. I think recognizing this you mentioned this, sharon, don't take it virtually Recognizing this might help us to step back a bit, especially in the moment Before we close. We do want to offer just a few more suggestions which are more directly applicable to the workplace. One that's really important to me because we talked about bullying and this applies directly when we talked about an anti-snitch culture.

Cindy LaCom: 11:20

There are all sorts of ways in which we don't want to trust ourselves. One of the recommendations we're going to make is, in fact, trust yourself. If you feel that a reaction, a response or a behavior in the workplace is unacceptably angry, aggressive or violent, you may ask am I overreacting? Am I making too big a deal out of this. Am I disdain, too mean? Trust yourself, the workplace anger can really become workplace violence if it's unchecked. So trust your instincts and, in terms of trauma-informed responses, be aware of how a person's anger impacts that person, the target of their anger. If it's another human, but also those around the person, and that includes you. Anger can be energetically and emotionally assaulted and, sharon, that's a phrase you taught me and I really think it's amazing. So practicing self-care is essential, something we talk more about in our trainings and our workshops.

Cindy LaCom: 12:23

If a co-worker's anger or aggression persists or consistent, consider your options. We'll just offer a few. One might beat up and we've talked about this the call that person. In the idea of calling in someone Only do this, though, if you feel safe doing so. If you're thinking about it, consider incorporating bystander allies if that option feels reasonable and potentially helpful If it gets out of hand.

Cindy LaCom: 12:52

Another option and I'm sure many of you have thought about this or possibly pursued this is to inform your supervisor and or HR. We recommend keeping it detailed and accurate record of incidents of aggression and anger so that you've thought that if it turns to any kind of a plaint. And finally, if you have the emotional bandwidth and you feel safe and comfortable doing so. Check in with those who have been the targets of anger and others in the area and on your team or in your department who have witnessed or maybe been a part of the experience of colleagues, anger or aggression, because it is emotionally, as you said, assault. Road rage in the workplace is real and having some strategies inherent to be better equipped to manage it is increasingly important as toxic meanness becomes more normal and as partisanship seems to increasingly find its way in the all-courage of our lives, whether that's the roadway or our workplace.

Sharon Wilson: 13:54

Absolutely, Cindy.

Sharon Wilson: 13:55

That was fantastic and I know there's a lot of information we went over here today, but those are some tips that we feel can just start us.

Sharon Wilson: 14:02

This is really a multi-layered topic and we just feel it's worth exploring some of these things that are showing up in our society and our communities and how that can impact our workplace and our workplace cultures. It's our intention to be a support and resource for you to help navigate these unprecedented challenges in our workplace cultures and create thriving cultures that have a ripple effect that impact us all in a positive way. We love for you to join our community of HR professionals, executive directors, managers that are wanting to create and grow more empowered workplaces and organizations, and you can get free tips and resources and an opportunity to attend free virtual gatherings where you can engage with industry leaders and innovators, exchange ideas and strategies and best practices. You can go to TransformingCultureConsultantscom HR. We're also available to provide you with a free virtual consultation to explore any challenges or opportunities in your workplace culture, and you can apply for that at TransformingCultureConsultantscom free application. You can connect with us on LinkedIn at TransformingCultureConsultants. Our vision is a world where employees feel happy, respected, valued and safe.

Cindy LaCom: 15:17

Thank you for being a part of this vision and we hope you'll join us for the next part.