Episode #5: Transforming Workplace Culture: From Bystander to Advocate

Are silent witnesses in the workplace complicit in fostering a toxic environment? Join us, Sharon Wilson and Cindy LaCom, as we tackle this pressing issue, offering you strategies to become a proactive force in reshaping your organization's culture. We dissect the troubling bystander effect, unraveling why individuals often freeze instead of acting in crisis situations. Our episode introduces the four Ds—direct, distract, delegate, and delay—arming you with the strategies needed to intervene in harmful situations effectively. Through a vivid scenario, we illuminate the power of direct intervention, showing you how to spot problematic behavior, appeal to communal values, and promote self-reflection in those around you—skills that are crucial for building a workplace where respect and inclusivity aren't just ideals but the norm.

But how does one navigate the intricate dance between being an advocate for change and avoiding the stigma of a 'snitch'? (Something that we discuss more in detail in Episode 6) We address this as we reflect on how respectful communication plays a pivotal role in personal development and in molding an organization's ethos. We share our commitment to guiding HR professionals, executive directors, managers and employees in their quest to cultivate a culture of empowerment, equity, and inclusion. By providing accessible insights and offering free virtual consultations, we extend a helping hand to those determined to turn their workplaces into environments where every voice matters and positive change is not just possible but expected.

Copyright: https://artlist.io/royalty-free-music/song/reflection/107904

Copyright: https://artlist.io/royalty-free-music/song/reflection/107904

Transcript

Sharon Wilson: 0:36

Well, welcome everyone to Transformation Talks. The intention of our podcast is to provide tips, strategies and inspiration to transform workplaces, communities and lives. I'm Sharon Wilson and I'm the co-founder and chief mindset and growth officer at Transforming Culture Consultants. I have with me today our other Cindy LaCom, who is our chief impact and inclusion officer. In our last podcast, we talked about the role that implicit bias can play in bullying, harassment and general unkindness in the workplace. Today, we want to extend our discussion by talking about bystander advocacy as an option for responding to those dynamics. So what is bystander advocacy, Cindy? Can you start us off with? What is the bystander effect?

Cindy LaCom: 1:26

Yeah, thanks, sharon. Before I talk about the bystander advocacy, I just want to talk a little bit about the bystander effect. It's a very interesting phenomenon in which someone is less likely to intervene in an emergency situation when others are present than if that person is by themselves. And the scenario that's been repeated in the research on this bystander effect is that someone's invited to an interview. They think it's a real interview but they're subject, so to speak. When they're in a room by themselves waiting to be interviewed, smoke begins to curl in from underneath the door and repeatedly that person that is more likely to see kill gets hurt by themselves. What happens when you repeat that scenario? But you put two other people in the room perspective job candidates scenario smoke begins to curl under the room and what happens is that first person looked at the other two folks to see how they're doing and if neither of them does anything in response to what seems like a fire, that individual also does nothing. So the bystander effect really is interesting because it kind of encourages apathy or a lack of action. And it does seem obvious when you talk about this. It seems obvious that regardless of how many people are in that room, someone would seek help and most people would say, well, I wouldn't get up and help. So I'm not sure that's true and data doesn't bear that out. So, if you're listening, we'd ask you to take a minute and think of a time when you might have been dissimilar. What kept you from taking action in that moment or from speaking up?

Cindy LaCom: 3:11

We know, as you're thinking about this, that there are a lot of valid reasons for remaining silent. In fact, we're going to talk a little bit about that in our next podcast. And this is really how culture is formed we learn by watching others. Social learning theory, which is a theory proposed by Albert Bandura, causes that people learn through observing, imitating and modeling other people's behavior. And if we're in a workplace where someone is being treated poorly and no one else speaks up, we tend to internalize a culture where silence is the norm. So we conform to the group's rules in order to fit in, perhaps to be accepted, probably to be liked or to avoid being disliked. But this normative influence can kind of create a spiral of silence.

Cindy LaCom: 4:01

So we believe Sharon you and I have talked about this that most of us have witnessed the bystander effect. But it doesn't have to be that way. We can instead try to practice bystander advocacy and intervention and there's a real simple definition here. It is safe and positive steps to prevent harm and diminish the risk of violence in a situation. There's an easy way to remember these four ways to practice bystander advocacy. They're sometimes called the four Bs. First is direct intervention, the second is to distract, the third is to delegate and the fourth is to delay. We actually talk more about each of these in our TTC trainings, but for just now we want to look at a specific instance of the Verge one direct intervention and consider possible.

Sharon Wilson: 4:53

Yeah, I love the D's. That's easy to remember, you know, as Cindy said, we want to use a scenario to get at this a bit more fully. So let's just imagine that you're at work when you hear one of your colleagues make you know as an insulting and derogatory remark about another co-worker maybe something like Andy's such a lazy bitch, typical of her generation. So what can you do? Well, we want to offer four simple steps for your consideration. First one is to identify the behavior, or comment, to point out someone's behavior, to help them hear what they are really saying. So it could be something like so what I hear you saying is that people in their 20s are inherently lazy.

Sharon Wilson: 5:41

Just challenge the stereotypic thinking and I think it's really important, cindy, the tone of voice we use with that as well, because that makes such a difference. So if we do it from what in coaching we call charge neutral, a charge neutral way, then we're not going to have an attitude or an energy that comes across. Sometimes asking someone to explain why they believe something can help them step back and see it from the stereotypic thinking it is. It's really them coming to a place of awareness by you just asking that kind of a question and that almost goes back to our what would a Martian say.

Cindy LaCom: 6:23

It gives them an opportunity to step back and see what they just said and say wow. And that actually is closely related to a second action step that we've talked about, and what you can do is also to appeal to that person's higher principles. Someone says something that's unkind or harmful, you might say. I've always thought of you as really fair minded, and it surprises me that here you say something that's so biased. I have found this response to also be effective, and it goes back to your end, to what you said. Again, don't say it in a way of horror, but say something like oh, wait a second, I don't think I could have heard you right. Can you repeat what you just said? And again, that's a tactic and a strategy that sometimes just asking someone to take one net of trust to think about the implications of something they've just said is enough to make them reconsider and also possibly to create a space to say wow, you're right, I didn't mean that.

Sharon Wilson: 7:24

Yeah, I like that. And the third step is really to set boundaries. We've talked about this before a little bit, but in the context of calling someone in versus calling someone out, we talked about that in earlier podcasts. You can't control others, but you can make others aware of what you will not tolerate. You might simply say please don't say that anymore. It's offensive to me and probably the others. I'm happy to talk about why I feel this way. If you'd like, or some version of that, just take the essence of it so that you can then really just tailor it to the situation, to the person. Those may not be your words, but use the essence of those.

Cindy LaCom: 8:06

Yeah, I really like that. And again, this is an example of practicing that kind of direct intervention, the furge of the four beads. And I use the verb practice because I actually think that practicing makes this kind of direct intervention by standard advocacy easier. But I also think it's easier when we work in a workplace culture that supports intervention and allyship based on mutual respect and equity. It becomes a habit, it becomes something that people do, you take for granted, that becomes the new norm. So, rather than a culture of silence and a culture potentially of bullying, what you have is a workplace environment where people support each other and gently and respectfully practice by standard intervention, calling in and calling out. And I know you have one last suggestion, sharon.

Sharon Wilson: 8:57

Right. One last thing I would suggest is consider finding both finding and being an ally. Really Seek out others who want to practice bystander advocacy and build strength and numbers. And this is important because, if you think about it, if you're feeling uncomfortable in a situation and it's something that perhaps has been going on in the workplace there's going to be other people that feel the same way. And so really to be able to support people, to really model that opportunity to help them so that they feel more empowered, because people don't know what to do a lot of times and we've talked about that in past podcasts.

Sharon Wilson: 9:37

You know, cindy and I have shared our own experiences where we felt the same way. So this is something where you can really find strength in numbers. I'm just imagining, cindy, like we talked about with the Martian idea is, you know, if someone is experiencing that and then maybe in a week they have a couple of interactions with people that are modeling this kind of communication that we're talking about, it might start to really kind of help them to come to greater sense of awareness, because they may not really truly have the intention that they're doing something from a place of ill will.

Sharon Wilson: 10:21

And that's something we really want to help them to see as well that this may be something that they can change their behavior once they come into a greater sense of awareness.

Cindy LaCom: 10:32

Yeah, that's good. And I also think this takes us back in some ways to Bendor's social learning theory, and that is, if I'm a new hire at a place and I become a witness to people saying wait, what do you just say? Or can we rethink how we might want to frame this? Instead of taking something personally, I might well instead say OK, this is just a culture of exchange. We're really trying to build something that's respectful and mutual and equitable here, and I really love that concept. And I want to add, we really also know that it's not that easy. There are a lot of prohibitions against stepping up and practicing bystander advocacy in a culture that is really deeply anti-snitch. We're taught from a very young age not to be cattle tails. We don't want to ignore the realities of that prohibition In fact, we're going to actually talk more about it in our next podcast but we do believe that culture is malleable and it can be changed and cherished and, to that end, we can gain strategies for being proactive and for making our workplaces more powered, equitable and inclusive.

Sharon Wilson: 11:45

Absolutely, and it's our intention in these podcasts to be a support and resource to you to help navigate these unprecedented challenges in our workplace cultures and create thriving cultures that have a ripple effect that impacts us all in positive ways.

Sharon Wilson: 12:00

That's not only for our podcast, but why we are in business. We'd love for you to join our community of HR professionals, executive directors and managers that are wanting to create and grow more empowered workplaces and organizations, and you can get free tips and resources and an opportunity to attend these free gatherings where you can engage with industry leaders and innovators, exchange ideas and strategies and best practices. So you can go to transformingcultureconsultantscom so that you can sign up to get that information and to get notification of that. We're also available to provide you with a free virtual consultation to explore any challenges or opportunities in your workplace culture, and you can apply for that at transformingcultureconsultantscom. You can also find our website at transformingcultureconsultantscom and we're also available to provide you with a free virtual consultation to explore any challenges or opportunities in your workplace culture, so you can get that information and help us to create and grow more powerful and more successful workplaces, and we're also available to provide you with a free virtual consultation to explore any challenges or opportunities in your workplace culture.