Welcome to our podcast, where we challenge conventional notions of success and explore what it truly means to live a fulfilling life. Join Jess and Heather as they embark on a candid conversation about their personal journeys and how they've redefined success along the way.
In this episode, Jess and Heather open up about their evolving perspectives on success and share the pivotal moments that led them to embrace a new truth. They discuss the ups and downs of navigating life's twists and turns, and how they've learned to find meaning and fulfillment in unexpected places.
Of course, no conversation with Jess and Heather would be complete without a few detours and laughs along the way. With their signature blend of humor and authenticity, they keep the conversation light-hearted while delving into deeper topics.
As the episode draws to a close, Jess and Heather pose a thought-provoking question to their listeners: How do you define success? Whether you're just starting out on your journey or reevaluating your priorities, this episode will inspire you to rethink your own definition of success and embrace the joy of living life on your own terms.
So grab your headphones and join us for a refreshing take on success, as Jess and Heather challenge the status quo and invite you to join the conversation. Because when it comes to living a meaningful life, there's no one-size-fits-all answer—just a journey of discovery and growth.
Welcome to our podcast, where we challenge conventional notions of success and explore what it truly means to live a fulfilling life. Join Jess and Heather as they embark on a candid conversation about their personal journeys and how they've redefined success along the way.
In this episode, Jess and Heather open up about their evolving perspectives on success and share the pivotal moments that led them to embrace a new truth. They discuss the ups and downs of navigating life's twists and turns, and how they've learned to find meaning and fulfillment in unexpected places.
Of course, no conversation with Jess and Heather would be complete without a few detours and laughs along the way. With their signature blend of humor and authenticity, they keep the conversation light-hearted while delving into deeper topics.
As the episode draws to a close, Jess and Heather pose a thought-provoking question to their listeners: How do you define success? Whether you're just starting out on your journey or reevaluating your priorities, this episode will inspire you to rethink your own definition of success and embrace the joy of living life on your own terms.
So grab your headphones and join us for a refreshing take on success, as Jess and Heather challenge the status quo and invite you to join the conversation. Because when it comes to living a meaningful life, there's no one-size-fits-all answer—just a journey of discovery and growth.
Speaker 1:
Welcome to the Opschools Opportunities podcast.
Speaker 2:
I'm Jess Pell, your host and I'm your co-host, heather Kane, and it's just us. Ah, we're gonna dig deep today. I think it's gonna be really good. I know it's gonna be really good, jess. That's just the way I'm feeling right now. I think it's my Americano, with my steamed cream and my powdered cinnamon, and I did a triple shot, so I'm ready to roll. There might be some high kicks going on during this podcast, right, yeah?
Speaker 1:
So okay, so topic we were kind of going through, you know, just, I guess, things I've wrestled with in my life, you know, maybe things you've wrestled with in a topic that I thought may be good just to kind of cover with our listeners is the idea of success. You know, we've had a lot of very successful people in our studio. Yeah, you know, and you know, the great thing about being in this podcast we get to kind of like sit and unravel their stories with them and kind of, you know, go through their path to success. Right, we kind of talk about it like a path to success. That's a normal thing that people you know might say Absolutely. But I was kind of thinking, heather, you know, I was thinking back on my life and just the idea of success. Let's start, you know, when you're younger, what is, what was your definition of success or what did you think it was when you were younger and how has that changed as you've gotten older?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, so when I was younger, I think my definition success was a financial reward. I really felt like, you know, I grew up, you know military, so financially we struggled. I mean, I remember just begging for fresh vegetables and we just didn't have the money for it, right. So I feel like for me, success in my mindset was financial freedom and to not really have to work for someone else. Like I wanted to be able to have the capability to make as much money as I wanted and to be provide right. That was, that was my definition of success.
Speaker 2:
And you know, it's funny because as you do get older, it completely changes, because you realize that the financial aspect actually doesn't provide any happiness. You know, is it make situations in life easier? Yeah, it does, but it doesn't provide happiness. And I think that you think when you're younger that money will provide happiness, but it doesn't at all. I have some of the most unhappiest people I've met in my life, are extremely wealthy and but they have no relationships. You know they have they. Yeah, I think. I think it's just it does change 100% when you get older.
Speaker 1:
I think it becomes more complex, Like I remember when I was little and I wrote, I wrote down, kind of. You know, when I was growing up you grew up military, I grew up basically like from artists. Yeah, we grew up very different, Very different. My, my like world is very like flexible and like, not rigid. And you know, we weren't, me and my mom, like we're, we didn't do one, two, three beds you know, it was like.
Speaker 1:
It was like maybe you probably read a book and maybe drew something or sing a song, or like maybe I'd go to bed at different times, maybe I would switch my room around all the time. Like I grew up in a very flexible space. I went to a Montessori school where it was very like I was not sitting in a desk all day.
Speaker 1:
I say all that to say I think that my, when I was younger, I would like kind of set little goals for myself, like in the beginning that was like my, my, my idea of success. Like I would just start with like a little goal. Like I was going to beat David Ballaban it running. I would assess he was the fastest kid and I remember just being like I'm going to beat him, like I'm going to beat him and like you know I'd race him every day and I'd like want to beat him and like it's just. That was the simplicity of like my success for that day. Or like I was going to beat Paul to Luke Ian on all the tests. Like I'm going to be number one, right.
Speaker 2:
I don't know, do I sense a little competitive spirit there?
Speaker 1:
It's weird, because if, if you like lined up any of my friends, they'd be like oh, jess would be the first one. Like, if we're playing a sport or anything, I'm not going to be the one to try to like knock you down. I will like just let you win. But I, I think internally if I decide like hey, I want to like crush this, like I want to be good at this, like I will like you're decisive in that goal I like it, but I think you know, as I got older, you know it was.
Speaker 1:
it was very simple and then as I got older, it became. I was the first person to graduate from college in my family. That was a big goal.
Speaker 2:
Really I didn't know that. Woman first woman, okay, okay, I was a four year college.
Speaker 1:
Like some took some technical schooling, but four year college I was the first one. So, yeah, so that was a success, absolutely. And so even just like getting a job with like a salary and sitting in a desk, and like someone was going to like like pay me and give me like benefits, like to me, in my mind I thought like maybe I've like reached it, like maybe maybe I like did it now, like you know never. But then to your point.
Speaker 2:
I think we all reach a point where you're like making pretty good money, like you know, I've got healthcare, I've got house, and you're sitting here and you're like, but you're owned by somebody else, Right, I think that's where like for me, because I saw like the government kind of owns our I wouldn't say owned our family, but like my dad worked for the government, right. Yeah, President Reagan, I mean like you can't you know when you, when you have accountability to somebody else, they do own your life, Right.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, so. So there is some of that where you you get to a point and you're like, okay, no, what does success mean for me and my life? And and one thing I was going to ask is you know we're just talking about success as money, right? That's kind of like you know maybe, a theme that a lot of people probably think of success as money. What if you have all the money in the world? Does success? Do you also want to find success in health and relationships?
Speaker 2:
in, you know, yeah, so my, my whole idea of success has really changed as I've grown. My relationship with my father and I'm not talking about my father, my physical father, god and I feel like success to me is have I discovered the gifts that God's given me and am I using them on a daily basis to impact others? And I feel like that to me is success versus the financial aspect. And what I've also realized is, if you hone the gifts that God gives you and you do pour back into others, then it all comes back. And I feel like that has been more of my focus. And when I stopped focusing on the financial and I started focusing on that, the financial aspect got even more abundant and I feel like that's, for me, where I have found fulfillment and success. It has nothing to do with the number of my bank account.
Speaker 1:
Okay, someone's listening and they're like how do you? I don't feel like I'm good at anything. Maybe I don't know. Maybe someone's like I have no clue what I'm good at. Yeah, how do you go about figuring out what gifts God has?
Speaker 2:
given you Prayer, and then the word I mean really, at the end of the day, you have to ask for that to show up. You know it's one of those. If you don't ask, you won't receive. So you have to ask for those gifts and and and you have to be aware to receive it and to understand it. And I think that that is where a lot of people keep seeking right and there's a void, and they go in circles and they don't ever actually accomplish what they're meant to do on this earth, right? I always say there's the natural and there's the supernatural, right, so you have to trust in the supernatural that's going to give you the clarity of what your gifts are, so that you can hone them, you can grow them and you can pour them back into others, and that, to me, is the ultimate success. And but a lot of people aren't willing to listen and do what it takes to discover what their gifts are.
Speaker 1:
I think it. You know, when I was trying to figure this part out of my life, I, you know, sometimes people could say, oh, I'm sitting there and I'm praying, I'm not hearing anything, or I'm I feel like I'm spending time with God and maybe, maybe you're distracted and you're you're not able to really like get anything out of it. And so one practical thing that I felt that was helpful for me when discovering gifts is to there are classes you can sometimes take, like churches will have classes where you can take, you know, like online, almost like quizzes about spiritual gifts, because there are a lot of gifts outlined in the Bible that say, you know, here are some typical gifts that God gives us right.
Speaker 2:
We have what's called growth steps at our church and it's basically, it is, it's a test, yeah, and it will. It will unpack what your gifts are. Most churches, I believe, have something like that.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, it seems like that. Yeah, I think those are great for people that you know just want to kind of sit down and focus on it. And one thing that I think is good, too, is asking your circle and being like, if you could call out like two things I'm really good at what would you say? Because it is helpful.
Speaker 2:
So what would you say About what? About me? I'm going to say what I'm going to say about you. So what are two gifts?
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I would say discipline and I would say your passion or like how tenacious you are about certain things, like I would say that you kind of take those two things and then also, I think, your faithfulness and vision, like where, if you and we've talked about this a lot like you being very faithful to God's calling of like a vision for your life, so if you take your discipline, your passion and your vision and willingness to just go for it like it's a forced be reckoned with.
Speaker 2:
That's what I'm saying about you, thank you. I appreciate that and for you right, I feel like you have a purpose in you that is magnetic, like you can attract people in your life that or are going in the way that you can relate and communicate with others to show love, like you touch people in a way that when they need it, when you don't even know they need it, it's very sweet. Thank you. So like, for instance, we had our awards ceremony last week, you wrote me a beautiful card and that card I sat in my car and I cried because I needed those words at the time that you delivered them to me. And you have this gift about you that God's given you and I don't know if it's you feel. I feel like you're so compassionate, like you feel what other people need and you're able to deliver that. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I, when I'm in a healthy place, I feel like I'm and I was actually going to write this down is Sometimes when you can get stuck on a cycle of success, like or thinking that your success can be something that you feel like you're chasing. I'm gonna come back around to what you said. Success can feel like something you're chasing. I am like an achiever by nature and it is when I'm in an unhealthy place. I'm not noticing people as much. I'm the main character. It's a very awful place to live, but I am, I'm the main character and I'm not being considerate or feeling what other people may be feeling. But when I'm in a healthy place, like, I am very open to those things and I sense it and I feel it And-.
Speaker 2:
But that's a gift which should show you that when you're in that unhealthy place, there's something that you're taking on the strength versus giving it to God.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, absolutely. And at one point I felt God telling me and this is a personal thing that he told me. Maybe it'll make sense to someone else, but it's continued to come back to me but you're more than a to-do list. Amen, you know. Yeah, because sometimes if you look back the end of your day and my lovey mom, my mom, is like this, she's a very achiever, focused about say like, how was your day? There was some point she would say, well, I did this, I did this, I did this, I did this, I did this.
Speaker 2:
That was her report back, so she gave you your shower checklist and how it was complete.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, it was a good day because I did bup, bup, bup, bup, bup and I was raised like that yeah, and so I've had to kind of like rewire myself a little bit to be like, no, I'm not defining the success of my day by a to-do list, like God has more for me than that. Yeah, you know, like absolutely, I'm not on a hamster wheel.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, you know. Well, that's yeah. If we live off a checklist, then are we using the gifts right? Are we just checking off and just skating through life? And that's a pretty miserable place to be in. If you're just checking off boxes, it is Right. And you know I, you know it was interesting.
Speaker 2:
I was in my Bible study today, this morning, and we talked about when you pray about something right, whether it's healing, whether it's clarity, whatever it is there's always a delay in the prayer. You're never going to pray and get what you want at that moment. And the reason why is that's how we build character, right. If we prayed and then overnight, everything happened, then how are we building perseverance? How are we building character amongst us, right? So I think we, you know we live in a society where we want everything right now, instant, instant, and we have to just know that. You just have to stay consistent, and I think that that is that is the problem in this world, is there's not a level of consistency and that people aren't persevering to wait for the delay, delayed gratification right, yeah, yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1:
that's what a lot of success is. You've heard from a lot of people sitting in these seats. A lot of it is, like you know, we talk about overcoming the obstacles. That is what the path to success is a lot of times is the obstacles. It's literally face. Figuring out how you want to face the obstacles, how you want to get through them, how you want to get over them, under them, whatever, because they're coming right, yeah, heather Borders.
Speaker 2:
she said something that was really powerful and she said my parents showed me failure as a child. Right, because failure is going to lead you to the path of success, and I think that we're all afraid to fail.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
And the second we remove that fear of failure is when we start to see our gifts that we've given because we're going. If you want to achieve anything in life, you're going to fail. Yeah, oh, absolutely, you are, you are. So it's like what can we? You know what I think success is about failures and learning from them to grow. And through all of your failures, you figure out your gifts.
Speaker 1:
I was thinking about OK, so you know you you kind of talked about like your if your success is Knowing you're using your gifts, like God giving gifts throughout the day, you're on purpose with God's plan for your life. We know life is not a straight shot, we know it's not like you discover that and then every day is great, right, oh my gosh. Okay, so how do you balance achieving and Submission and surrendering things?
Speaker 2:
My gosh it is so weird that you just asked me that, because that was exactly what we talked about this morning Is surrender right? I, I think, we all, I, I, I, I, I, I, I.
Speaker 1:
I.
Speaker 2:
I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I so you mean just surrendering your faults?
Speaker 1:
surrender, yeah for surrendering everything that you aren't actually great at, just Accepting that, except yeah, try not not being someone.
Speaker 2:
I know I'm not, you know, and I think that that's that was really really pivotal for me in my career as well. And you have to realize I Am not loved by a lot of people and, and you know that hurts, but at the same time it's okay. Yeah, you know it is, it's okay. You can't alter who you are to appease everybody else, and I think the second you do that, then you feel failure, right.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, so you say, basically staying true to yourself, that that has been something that's really Helped you stay in check is just knowing that you have been authentically yourself.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I and we're human or flash. I mean the amount of mistakes that I've made and my business and my personal life I mean I can't even count them right, but I do own them. You know I own it and I apologize and I surrender Not being perfect and I feel like you know that is so important in this day and age and I feel like if, if more people would surrender and forgive and check their ego at the door, the better this world would be. But we're all ego driven, just like you said. You know the second, your ego is involved you it's, it's your show and nobody else's, and then you're not using the gifts that God's given you.
Speaker 2:
Yeah so you have to surrender.
Speaker 1:
Do you have certain things that you notice about yourself like that you're getting off balance, you know? Like do you have almost like road signs?
Speaker 2:
I do, oh, what are yours? I've got some.
Speaker 1:
So I've already mentioned I'm the main character. When I get frustrated with people like I'm short, with people like I'm, you know, I just kind of notice like I'm in my head internalizing like things that someone said or what. I typically let things go. I'm like a very like like I. I literally don't hold grudges. I could, I could run into someone from high school that did me wrong, like like spread an awful. Actually, I have to tell you, should I say this on the podcast? There is I. There was actually some graffiti In my high school bathroom that said Jessica Crane that was my old name has a penis. Someone put that in the bathroom.
Speaker 2:
I have something similar, really, yeah that's like a like it was a graffiti, but it said that I can't even tell you what it says, but it has something to do with a hamster and it's very inappropriate. But someone did the same to me and I still know her name to a tee. Really, I don't know who did it and I don't care.
Speaker 2:
Oh, I know, cuz she took an umbrella to the back of my head and shot it the entire time on the school bus, on the back, my head, and would say what she wrote on the bathroom walls to me, I mean yeah. So you run into that person. Well, how do you react?
Speaker 1:
Well, I guess, okay, I mean that was a very you know just descriptive that sidetracked there. But I mean it was. It was in the bathroom For at least three years of high school and so it became a joke with all my friends. I like, oh, use the bathroom stall where it says you have a penis in it. I'm like, yeah. And finally, my senior year, I was like could you guys just paint that Cuz someone do something. Let's just, you know, it's not my legacy to leave, but anyways, hi, I um.
Speaker 1:
What I was gonna say is I typically can let things go Like I am not one to hold like a lot of grudges with people like I just, I just, I don't know, maybe it's something he's my, my short term, long-term memory, I don't know, but I literally could walk in someone that said they were gonna fight me in high school and I would, you know, I would be okay with it. So I know that, like, when I start getting like really frustrated with people, that that's not like a natural, that's not how I I'm, I am healthy. Yeah, that's one of my like road, you know.
Speaker 2:
So please, start getting short, I'm sure yeah.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, cuz I can usually have patience with most personality types. But yeah, I went in and definitely like the whole.
Speaker 2:
Do you have a physical like? Is it all emotional for you? Cuz I have a physical like if I'm off balance, I feel it in my body. It's not necessarily a reaction mentally. You have a physical I.
Speaker 1:
Mean, I do. I do have anxiety and so sometimes when I'm super anxious, like my stomachs messed up, like things like that, but that, that to me, I kind of separate that a little bit because I don't feel like that's, that's really in my heart, necessarily as much like, yeah, anxiety for me is a physical condition that I'm predisposed to, that is, it feels very different than my Spirituality in my heart if I'm on track with stuff like, yeah, even though it can intermix.
Speaker 2:
See, I know like this I get heartburn and indigestion, oh really. And the second I have that I know I'm off balance, I know my I'm not aligned, my physical and emotional body are not aligned, and it shows up in my gut. And in the second I do that I have to reset myself. And then I do I feel better. How do you reset yourself? I mean, I Find that if I get sidetracked and I'm not like Doing my devotions and I'm not, if I'm trying to take things with my strength and not his strength, I I'll fail 100% of the time. And then I feel sick and I feel like it's a Pit in my gut and it gives me A terrible stomach pain.
Speaker 1:
So what do you do? Just kind of carve more time out. I have devotion like prayer.
Speaker 2:
I do. It's always when I get out of my routine. It's like, and I noticed, like like two weeks ago I I started changing up my morning routine and I I've this the lot, not this week, but the previous week. I was sick to my stomach the entire week and I feel like I know myself that I have to have Balance because if I don't, it shows up on a physical aspect of me. Not necessarily I'm short with people, not necessarily my mind said I just physically am sick.
Speaker 1:
Hmm, so it more comes out physically. That's interesting, yeah, I would say the way that I've in my healthiest seasons of time and and it may be just the way I'm wired, it may not work for other people, but you know definitely prayer and you know spending time in the Bible. Things like that are definitely good for me, like in the morning to get my mindset. But, um, I Really really like getting in the middle and this sounds so weird. I I like getting in the middle of other people's circumstances or mess and I say that in like, go to a food pantry, go to a jail, go wherever.
Speaker 1:
I really find that I can recalibrate myself. If I'm like around people that are like really, really in a desperate situation, it resets everything in my mind to stop like thinking about myself constantly and I can just pause and I can be like okay, what do they need? What are they going through? Like what are, because that is actually more representative of what the world is right. And so I feel like that got talks to me in those circumstances where I'm not like, I'm not saying I'm like the best person, a mother tree, so like I'm not saying that at all, I'm just saying that that practice to me in serving people and going where the mess is Like the messy or, the better, like homeless jail.
Speaker 2:
Which is why you've done so much work in the jail, right? Yeah, I've felt very like called to that, but yeah. You know one of the things that we are we're born selfish. Oh, absolutely. You know little kids, what's one of the first words that they learn Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, right. And I feel like that's when you put yourself in those situations and you see what other people are going through, you immediately bring yourself out of it. Yeah, and that is, that's a gift, right there.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, it's definitely. I don't know. I've people will be like, well, that's uncomfortable, that's unsafe, that's you know whatever. And I'm like, yeah, but that's when God does this best work. Yeah, that's like, if I may be getting like shot, possibly like I could. I mean I'm not going to be dumb about it, but I will say a lot of prayer before I go in. But I mean, man, I have seen the craziest things.
Speaker 2:
That's a huge. I mean, that is an absolute blessing that you can do that, because so many people can't, right. And so the question I would have for you, Jess, is do you do enough of that in your life?
Speaker 1:
No, right now. No, not, not even. So how do?
Speaker 2:
you bring back balance. Yeah, If it fills your cup up. You can't keep giving without filling yourself up.
Speaker 1:
Well, honestly, that's what all my meditation this morning was about is like in my best seasons. I am literally pushing myself into those situations and I'm, you know, there, and because I, whenever I was asked like, I did the asked my friends like what my spiritual gift was. The one thing that always came up was encouragement, and so I feel, and that's what you did with me.
Speaker 1:
I mean, that's not what I said, but that's what it is, but that's like I feel very called to that so I can do that in real estate. Absolutely, I've got a family trying to move out East right now. They're in a tough spot right now.
Speaker 2:
Yeah.
Speaker 1:
I've got a family trying to move, you know, to Atlanta and it's emotions are high. Yeah, you can definitely like be in those circumstances with people in this job, for sure.
Speaker 2:
What a blessing you are to those people to use the gift of encouragement, because so many people need that, especially in a real estate market we're in right now.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's tough, it's tough, yeah, it's really tough. So, anyways, I would encourage you know, I hope that maybe someone that's listening might hear how you and I tackle those times and we feel off, we feel like we're chasing after the wrong thing, our heart isn't right. I know, I feel it on some days and I have to remind myself like how God's wired me, you know, like what I was called to. But if someone didn't know what they're called to, I think the first step would be, you know, prayer, Ask people around you.
Speaker 2:
Ask the people that love you the most yeah, right, like who loves you unconditionally and ask them what your gift is, and then ask yourself if you're using that in your career, in your personal life, and if you're not, then figure out how you can use it. That's when you'll feel the success. Right, yeah, yeah, I love it. I know this has been good.
Speaker 1:
We never know where these conversations are going to go Exactly. That's been great.
Speaker 2:
It has. Well, thank you guys, so much for listening. I know the definition of success is different for everybody, right? And we would love to hear what your definition of success is. So feel free to comment on any of our stuff. Let us know, because we would love to learn from you as well. Yes, please do. We want to hear from you Absolutely. Thanks for listening. Thanks, ouch. Infringement.
