Awakened Wellness: It Is What It Is!

Ever found yourself mulling over the phrase "It is what it is"? Join Jocelyn and me on Awakened Wellness, as we go beyond the surface of this acceptance mantra to uncover how letting go of our attachment to certain stories can be a powerful step in our healing journey. We celebrate our listeners' transformative experiences and their deep engagement with personal wellness, highlighting the value of direct questioning and understanding in overcoming the constraints of assumptions. This episode is a heartfelt reflection on the stories we tell ourselves and how they shape our emotional and personal growth.

We all grapple with life's challenges, but it's how we face them that defines our resilience. Today, Jocelyn and I explore the complexity of grief, how functionality intertwines with societal influences, and the necessity for a balanced approach to healing. Through a story of overcoming a learning disability, we reveal the surprising humor and profound growth that can come from stepping out of our comfort zones. This discussion is a testament to the idea that embracing life's struggles isn't only about survival—it's about thriving in a world that often feels overwhelming.

To wrap up our conversation, we dive into the profound world of meditation and the acceptance of our ever-changing bodies. Sharing personal experiences with those pesky muscle cramps during meditation, we shed light on how facing such discomfort can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself. We close with an empowering message: everyone has the potential for growth, spiritual gifts aren't reserved for a select few, and we should all embrace the present moment. So, take a pause, listen in, and let's navigate through life's chaos with grace and humor together.

For More Information visit awakenedwellness.life or marieknoetig.com

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:13

Welcome to Awakened Wellness. I am Jocelyn and I'm Marie, and we want to welcome you to today's show. It Is what it Is, where self-discovery meets purposeful, lasting change. So what's up for this show and what kind of recaps do you have, ms Marie, because the last ones were pretty awesome. Okay, for the recaps.

Speaker 2: 0:38

Someone mentioned that the part they liked the most about the show is that we're not siding with one thing or the other, and I was so grateful they said that, because I work really hard to be a mediator in life, that I can see all sides of everything. That doesn't mean I'm not human and that I do have my opinions, but I think when it comes to your healing and all of that, you really need to stay objective, because there's so much misinformation out there. So it was a practitioner and she said that she really was impressed by that and that she's opened more because of it, because she was very one-sided, okay.

Speaker 1: 1:15

So yeah, wow, that was a huge epiphany for her.

Speaker 2: 1:18

Yeah, it was huge. It was huge, wow. Someone else told me they like the name Awakened Wellness better and they want to learn more because it makes them understand that they need to do more, whereas my other body within didn't really connect the dots in their mind of what they needed to do for themselves.

Speaker 1: 1:36

Yeah, and it sort of felt when I think of the two differences and just saying them out loud today and hearing you say them, it does feel like a awakened wellness. We're more of a community and there's more trying, more listening to, more hearing, more working and not feeling like I just got to do it this way. It's more open. The path is got many paths Nice.

Speaker 2: 2:10

I personally this is my recap I've seen a lot of people who watch asking me a lot more questions now, yeah, a lot more questions, even in my office. They're seeing things more as they are. I've actually had a couple people that I would have never given them the I don't know, I would never think that they could change Really and they actually have. So that's been really cool for me, wow, and I think it's just the way. It's non-confrontational. It's not about them specifically, so they're not reacting to anything, they're just listening. Mm-hmm, because even when you're in my office, it's about your health, it's about what you didn't do. It's what do you need to do? There's none of that Correct. So information flowing does it set right with you or doesn't?

Speaker 1: 3:02

Mm-hmm, and it allows you to decide how you want to participate as well.

Speaker 2: 3:06

Pick up which key you Exactly so for me that was kind of cool, so I just wanted to share that.

Speaker 1: 3:12

I like that. I like that very much, so it is what it is.

Speaker 2: 3:17

We've heard that phrase many many times A million times A million times.

Speaker 1: 3:22

But how does that apply to awakened wellness? How do we take that phrase?

Speaker 2: 3:27

Because as soon as you create a story on why something's happening, you're no longer healing, because you don't even know what's happening.

Speaker 1: 3:35

You sort of put yourself in a little bubble and Well, why did that person do that?

Speaker 2: 3:40

Because they don't like me or this or that. But you don't even know that. You didn't ask them why they did that Correct.

Speaker 1: 3:45

That's just your justification. It's just what it is.

Speaker 2: 3:48

They did what they did for the reasons they did. But you've got a story now that's got you down a different path. It's got your emotional state running an overdrive and you don't even know.

Speaker 1: 3:56

Would you call that potentially making yourself a victim or limiting yourself to?

Speaker 2: 4:02

deal with that. I think we need answers to things and if you don't know, you need an answer. I had a younger teenager in and they play a sport and they had all these reasons why things were happening and why the coach was making the decision, why the other players were doing something. So they made a different change and then one of the kids came up to him and said something and he goes. Well, because you, he goes. I don't think that I didn't know that you felt that way. Yeah, see how we get caught, that we start going. Yeah, we start messing with ourselves because we just don't ask the question.

Speaker 1: 4:39

Where does it be a lot easier to just say is there a problem? Yeah, or do you just not like me? Or I mean, I don't know why people are afraid to just come out and say it. I've always done that and they've said, well, you're very blunt and it's. I don't look at it blunt, I just look at it as, as you said, we need answers. So why would I not ask the question straight out and get a straight answer?

Speaker 2: 5:05

And it also. It is what it is Like. I had a client after the holidays. She didn't feel a greater stomach, was in an uproar, she's going to find a functional doctor because she's had enough of this and blah, blah, blah. And then we started talking and all along it was things that she was eating and doing that she knew she shouldn't, or she overdid and overindulged, and she's been doing it on a regular basis and I just kind of you know, snickered a little bit, going well, you don't really need the doctor if you know what you're doing. Well, I want to be able to do it. Well, it is what it is. You can't do it Right.

Speaker 1: 5:41

If your body rejects it, you can't make it again.

Speaker 2: 5:43

You know, I had another one same thing, and she had. She thought it was oysters she ate. That might have caused her upset stomach. And I'm like, well, it's a lot of oysters, but there must have been something else you ate. And we went on and on and on and by the time we were done she had eaten cheesecake, she had eaten pump pie, she had eaten oysters, she had eaten rolls with butter. And I'm like, well, why is that bothering me so much? Because it is what it is. It's fat, it's heavy fat and the body cannot. So do you see what I mean? We have all these stories, but it is what it is. The body can't handle that much fat in one sitting.

Speaker 1: 6:15

And it's just the way it is, and it's telling you it's just the way it is.

Speaker 2: 6:18

But when we well, I want to be able to eat that, or it shouldn't happen to me, or why is it happening to me? Because it is what it is, stop the wise. Except the reality. I like it, but it goes on. It goes to chronic pain. I see people in chronic pain all the time. They don't want to be Well you are, well, I don't want to be. I don't want to have to make all these you know things in my life change or adaptable. I go. Well, you have to in order to survive. Mm-hmm, it is what it is. Mm-hmm, well, I don't want to. I go. You can sit in bed and complain and cry because you don't want to, but you're just gonna get weaker and you're only hurting yourself because they have this whole story that they shouldn't have to go through this.

Speaker 2: 6:57

Oh, Dear like I said, it is what it is. Just sit in it and then you're gonna have all these solutions and answers Versus getting mad at it and making it something else that you shouldn't have to. You know, I see it with food allergies all the time and people go out and eat them anyway Because they shouldn't have to go without them and their friends do. It is what it is. It's gonna make you sick, don't do it so why so spending?

Speaker 1: 7:21

what I'm hearing is spending a lot of time fighting For something you know you really shouldn't do anyway, or your body doesn't agree with whatever it is, and you're fighting to make it so when it actually it is what it is and it goes back to osteoporosis again.

Speaker 2: 7:40

Mm-hmm. I cannot get women to weight train to save their life, to literally save their lives, because they've got every reason and it shouldn't have to be. It is what it is. If you want to age healthy, you need to get your bone density up. Mm-hmm. Heart disease is the same way. You know it can go on and on. You know Griefs another one. I see people in the grief process for a lifetime and it's like we're all here for a short period of time and I'm not insensitive, but you are in a situation where that person is no longer here. So what are your next steps? Mm-hmm, they don't want any next steps.

Speaker 1: 8:20

They just want to live with that.

Speaker 2: 8:21

They're not here, that bubble yeah and then I don't understand how hard it is. But all I'm saying is it's not about how hard it is, it's about you're not functioning in life and you need to function. So what do you need to do to function now? Because that person has moved on, mm-hmm, now you've got to take care of you, and and doesn't that go against what we talked about in the first show?

Speaker 1: 8:44

Yes the physical, spiritual, emotional, with the way that works together.

Speaker 2: 8:48

Yes, because if you're not balanced and you can't see that we all die and we all move on, it mucks up your healing here.

Speaker 1: 8:57

Yes, mm-hmm, and and you're able to do it with animals.

Speaker 2: 8:59

now I have noticed that it's it's crippling them, crippling them, mm-hmm, because they're not seeing that you get a large breed dog. It's only here 12, maybe 9, 10 years. It is what it is. That is the genetics of the breed correct, and people don't like that. They want it to be 20 years. Well, it's not going to be. So it this whole confusion, this imbalance, this chaos? It eats at your body, it eats at your psyche, it eats at your life skills. It eats at everything, because you're not balanced and you're not living in. It is what it is. You're living in your own Story of what you want it to be if I go out on a limb here.

Speaker 1: 9:42

So With everything that you've said and shown us and the imbalance in most people, is this a Symptom of society? Is this why we have so many people that can't deal with With decisions? They're depressed, they have anxiety, all the all those buzzwords, because there.

Speaker 2: 10:08

I think it's just because we've evolved so fast. We went from being farmers living in survival mode that everything in our day had meaning and purpose and you just had to do it or you weren't going to survive. People don't live like that anymore, so they don't have that Moxie, when they got out of bed and you got to go feed the cows no matter what, or you're not going to eat, mm-hmm. There is none of that anymore. Okay, so it, and I blame it partly on my generation, because I watched it with my kids and my kids didn't have it as easy as other kids, because I was paralyzed and I was on my own at 17 and I'll be damned if those kids didn't have life skills and they all had jobs in high school.

Speaker 1: 10:49

They all had sports in high school.

Speaker 2: 10:51

But these other kids, the parents never wanted to upset them and when you don't upset your child when they're 20 and something happens, they have no skill to get out of trying to figure it. So now there are victims of everything and they have no moxie inside. They have no fight. Life teaches us everything and adversity is part of life, which builds skills to get through the next phase.

Speaker 2: 11:19

And so if you're constantly eliminating it, then you never have to deal with it, and grief is adversity, and grief does help us understand life better if we allow it to, and it gives us more strength to be more balanced, to be stronger and better people.

Speaker 1: 11:35

Yeah, which also goes to the last, very excellent phrase that you said at the end of the last show. So if you're embroiled in this grief and you can't see your way out of it, you need to ask yourself does that help you find peace when you pass, because you've locked yourself away from the other person there? And it's not that you have to dwell on it, but it is a piece of that, it is a piece of the healing.

Speaker 2: 12:03

It is a piece of that, and awakened wellness comes from digging a little deeper on. How much are we undermining our own success in life?

Speaker 1: 12:13

Boy, you're hitting a whole bunch of subjects that have come up. Oh, I'm the queen of undermining my own success.

Speaker 2: 12:18

You're the queen of undermining, but you learned so nicely I've learned and learned how to protect myself from myself, how to bring my weaknesses forward and how toyou know. My daughter said to me this year, 2024, mom, I'm getting uncomfortable. Like what does that mean? She was just this thing that you get uncomfortable. So I started doing it and I was like holy cow. I still got a lot of work to do. There's a lot of areas that I pull back and don't do because of being uncomfortable, and so now I've been pushing past them and I'm just laughing at myself as I do it, because there's no boogeyman behind the door.

Speaker 1: 12:50

Can you give us an example?

Speaker 2: 12:52

I think, my daughter does my scheduling for me. What people don't know about me is I have a learning disability. I always have. Yeah, oh, shock me. Okay, I don't see numbers correctly. Sometimes I get things backwards. Sometimes I actually get my sentences backwards. The joke is, when mom's older please don't let me leave the house if my clothes are on backwards, okay. So when I was a child, I was a kid. I fought through school, I fought through college. I fought through everything. So when I'm doing like a scheduling thing and there's just a little bit of an emotional piece to it too, I'm a mess. So I said to her I'm going to get uncomfortable and take over my scheduling. So I took over my scheduling and about two weeks into it I double booked somebody twice. I made three mistakes. I offered two people the same thing twice. Oh yeah, I canceled somebody. I just started laughing. Why can't I do this? She goes, mom, it is what it is.

Speaker 1: 13:55

This is just something you can't do.

Speaker 2: 13:58

And I hired her a long time ago to protect myself from myself because my schedule's not that demanding that I shouldn't be able to manage it. But the problem with my schedule is I can't do one of those online scheduling programs because I have so many already, consistent all the time.

Speaker 1: 14:13

Right that you have to put the new people in between, and when there's an opening, it's always somebody who's on a wait list.

Speaker 2: 14:17

It's not somebody outside of my office. So, it has to be done. But when I'm in between clients and I'm trying to do it and I'm doing paperwork, I just don't have the focus with my learning disability to get it right. So I failed miserably, but I understood that it is what it is. That's something you're not going to do and to protect yourself, farm yourself. Just keep doing it the way you're doing it.

Speaker 1: 14:38

That's funny. I figured that's what you were saying and what I found myself. I've been doing some paperwork with people and helping with proof reading and stuff like that which I like doing. I don't like to do it a lot, but I was like, yeah, I'll help. But I didn't have a certain program on my computer and I kept telling myself, well, I don't know how to install it, I don't know how to do it. And again, the boogeyman, I can't do it To people. It may sound really silly, no, but you shut yourself down and you don't move forward.

Speaker 2: 15:14

People do it about the gym, they do it about their diet, they do it about food prepping, they do it about going upstairs and just stretching. They just get this anxiety and they can't do it. They can't do it and they've got a story to go along with it and it is what it is if you don't move your butt.

Speaker 1: 15:32

So I did, and I was like I have to get a new computer. And I sat back and went I have got two computers here. I paid good money for them. What is wrong with you? And I went okay, and they typed it in and they installed it, and I looked and I went, oh, it worked. And so and you know, not to make a mockery of anybody, I'll make fun of myself. But if I could be that ridiculous with myself and not trying it because, well, it might not work, but I didn't know what was going to work and why it wouldn't work, and I wouldn't even try it. So people take a chance, you know.

Speaker 2: 16:17

And that's just get uncomfortable. Everything comes from getting uncomfortable, because the reason why we're not healthy is because everything's uncomfortable.

Speaker 1: 16:25

Mm-hmm and oh, it can't be uncomfortable. Everything has to be perfect. That's the society we live in, which, as you said, you know, you don't have to get up and walk, milk the cows and feed the animals. Well, we're beyond that.

Speaker 2: 16:37

Well, aren't we? But it's equal, as you know, what's for dinner? That's uncomfortable for a lot of people. You know. I was talking to somebody yesterday and I was saying, yeah, my husband and I food prep. We make the menu on Sunday and then I do it again on Wednesday and we food prep on Sunday for the week. It's just easier with our busy schedules and stuff. Oh, I try to ask my husband and he immediately says it's Sunday, I can't think about what I want for Monday or Tuesday, and it gets overwhelming and he's just uncomfortable because now he has to think, now he has to put himself out there, he has to think about, so he has to make a decision. He has to make a decision and it's uncomfortable. So he's undermining his own health because he doesn't want to get uncomfortable. But the fact is it is what it is to make your life easier.

Speaker 2: 17:21

You should work together. So all the pressure lies on her and that creates a health issue for her because he's not stepping up, because he's uncomfortable.

Speaker 1: 17:30

So we all do it. None of us are we're. None of us are immune to it. None of us are perfect. None of us are.

Speaker 2: 17:36

I mean, I see people in relationships again avoiding talking to the other one about something because they don't want to get uncomfortable. And I go what's the worst that's going to happen? Is he going to abuse you? Are she going to abuse you? Well, no, she's going to get uncomfortable, yeah.

Speaker 1: 17:48

I remember once I was I forget what the exact circumstance was, but in my head I had played that this is exactly what my husband was going to say and it was going to be awful, and blah, blah, blah, and something triggered it and I sat down on the step and I was sobbing. He says what are you crying about? And I'm like well, I know that you were going to say this, this and this. And he's like in what century?

Speaker 1: 18:20

Why would you think that? Well, I figured, if I did this that you'd be like that. And he's like oh my gosh, and again it's the story instead of it is what it is.

Speaker 2: 18:30

There's a story and it doesn't mean that sometimes it doesn't happen that you've got your partner pegged and you know how they're going to react.

Speaker 1: 18:36

But it's not all the time, but again you know what's going to happen.

Speaker 2: 18:40

So either you dial a different number or you just make it happen so you can get what you need out of it.

Speaker 1: 18:47

to get to your next step, you know, what's really cool is the relief and the stress that falls off of you when they go.

Speaker 2: 18:56

I didn't say that and when you realize your story has no value. But everything has a story and nobody wants to be in the situation they're in and I tell people, just be in it. You know a lot of people, when they're doing the body work with me and the body changes a lot say, your foot opens and then I get your calf to shift and then I get your hip to shift You're probably going to have a leg cramp the next day because, with the body starting to pattern differently, the muscles that are still stuck are going to start pulling against the ones that are freer. And I tell people, sit in the cramp. You're going to start to feel and see and then you're going to be able to massage it and you're going to be able to peel those other muscles and you're going to have more freedom in your leg. It's a cramp. I'm like it is what it is. It's not like it's a purposeful cramp because your muscles are trying to turn your leg, because your leg was so far off.

Speaker 2: 19:44

If you can sit in it and just breathe through it and try to oh what is really going on there, you can have such an experience that you're not only doing your own body work and you're reading your own body. You're actually seeing something for what it is, not the drama in your head that this cramp is so horrible and you just go beyond, right, you know it's kind of like labor pains. You know women to get into them and work with the baby, versus just sit in the pain and have the story about pain. So there's so much we can do on so many levels inside of ourselves. If we just sit in it, it is what it is, be in it. Accept that it is that and then you'll have tools to move forward. But as long as you can't see it for what it is, you'll never be able to get past whatever it is you're trying to do.

Speaker 1: 20:27

And you'll never be open to any options of moving forward.

Speaker 2: 20:30

You can't because you've got a story, because you won't accept the reality.

Speaker 1: 20:34

I can't do that because I get muscle cramps and we're not talking about a big cut or a broken leg or something. We're talking about an adjustment and a muscle cramp. So don't go crazy people.

Speaker 2: 20:48

And you know, awaken wellness is all about, like I said, just digging deeper and understanding what's holding you back, and that you need to be in balance with your body, your mind and your spirit. And what does that mean to you? And it is what it is about, even your spirituality. I can't hear You're telling me to ask to see and what I need to see, and I'm not hearing anything. And I'm not hearing anything and I'm like, stop. Okay, you asked. It is what it is. It's a practice. It takes a while, but the more I can't hear, I can't hear You're blocking anything from ever happening. I'm not good enough. I can't do this. Only you can do this. If I have somebody else, tell me again, you're the only one that has this gift. I'm going to kill them.

Speaker 2: 21:29

Because my whole goal is to show you.

Speaker 1: 21:31

We all have this gift, we all have it and we have to develop it.

Speaker 2: 21:33

You're not going to have the same one I have, because you haven't walked a mile in my shoes. You don't see your words backwards. Everybody has the potential, exactly, but they rather blame it on me than they don't have to see that they can do it as well.

Speaker 1: 21:47

Take care of it. Yeah, I was doing attempting a meditation. That's not my forte and you know that I have to keep working at it and I come back to it and I get frustrated. But I was doing a meditation like, oh, I just like that music, I just like that sound, so let's try it. It felt, you know. Okay, try it, see if I can.

Speaker 2: 22:09

Why do you need to meditate?

Speaker 1: 22:12

I just felt that I wanted to experience what was going on here and see what it was about. And so I started this guided meditation and it was just nice and I felt just kind of relaxed. I just felt like, okay, they're not asking me to do anything weird, I don't want to think about it. So I just kind of want to go with the flow, because I overthink too many things. So I wanted to go with the flow, and then they started about reaching through the earth and a taproot, and immediately I was like oh my what? And I just couldn't fathom it. So I'm just like I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it. So I was like, no, you can do this. I tried and I tried and I couldn't. So, people, you just keep trying.

Speaker 2: 23:00

I failed it Well, the reason. So meditation, the purpose. Yeah, I was going to ask you what am I missing the?

Speaker 2: 23:06

purpose of meditation is to train your mind to focus, to not be all over the place and to focus in quiet so you can do what I asked you to do Ask to see what you need to see. All it is is to quiet the chatter so you can hear those messages all the time, because all meditation is. People have taken it to become this higher because some of the practices talk about vibrations and if you're at a higher vibration, you're better than everyone else. Nobody's better than anybody. It's just the way it is. We're all just different and if we don't accept that we're all different, we're going to stop learning, because I want everybody to be different so we can learn from each other.

Speaker 1: 23:49

Well, everybody has their own way, yeah.

Speaker 2: 23:51

So meditation is just a way to help you to train the mind so you can hear everything. So people sit there thinking it has to be this thing and they have to do this thing, Even if you're just quiet, for you know 10 second blips in there, it's 10 seconds more when you're in everyday life and in the chaos that you're going to be able to hear those that your daughter's upset or that that car's coming across the road, or that you shouldn't eat that because you aren't going to be good for two days. That's all it is. We put so much pressure on ourselves.

Speaker 1: 24:23

Well, I kind of felt that when I did it. So I brought it up and I was like I'm just not all about this taproot thing. So, but what did happen when I went okay, I can't find my taproot, I can't wrap it.

Speaker 2: 24:38

Well, it depends on where it comes out of.

Speaker 1: 24:39

Well, yeah, and I can't find a rock to wrap it on. So you know, this is me, so I'm probably saying what other people have said. But what did come out of it was waterfalls, and I just went okay, I'm supposed to see waterfalls and I was calm and I was relaxed and I just sat there for a minute and I was happy, and that was just you talking to yourself.

Speaker 2: 25:00

This is how it's going to calm you that what they have is not your thing. There you go, yeah.

Speaker 1: 25:05

That was kind of my story to share. It wasn't my thing.

Speaker 2: 25:08

So there's different forms of meditation out there. You find what works for you. But just because you can't do one, because it's just somebody putting something out for you to try, I have some. I have some little three minute ones that just kind of get you to stare at a picture and just kind of get you in the middle of your day. If you're really reactive you just play it, and if it quiets you it's a good fit for you.

Speaker 1: 25:27

If it doesn't don't do it, then move on, and that's the whole thing. I was just. I didn't say I'm never going to do it again. I just went okay, this is what's coming to me. So this is what it accomplished, and I'm happy with that. Waterfalls are very peaceful.

Speaker 2: 25:40

Try some waterfall music next time and just sit there with the waterfall music. I will try that.

Speaker 1: 25:44

That's a great idea I'm going to sit for very long. No, it's not, you have to do. That's the other thing. Half an hour, Book out half an hour. I'm happy if there's a couple minutes.

Speaker 2: 25:52

Well, if you're going to sit for half an, hour you're going to be totally anxiety-ridden, hoping that watching that clock pass. I was going to say I would be waiting for the day you just got to sit and do what you can do, and it will come in time that you can sit longer and, like I said, it's just to age you in your everyday life. So you have that space to hear the messages that you're so chaotic and you can't hear.

Speaker 1: 26:10

So I'm going to be a little silly to start to wrap it up. But do what you can do because it is what it is. All right, sorry, no, that works. Do what you do and you know we laugh. But you know what this is. What it's all about is sharing and people saying you know, jocelyn was really just I get that taproot thing. But you're saying, listen to waterfalls. So I'm going to try waterfalls. So I like that. Do what you can do because it is what it is, and let's all do this journey together. So tell everybody where they can reach out to you, ask you questions comments Body within healing community at Gmail.

Speaker 2: 26:48

I probably will change that to Awaken Wellness, make it easier on people. And Marie noted K-N-O-E-T-I-G dot com.

Speaker 1: 26:55

I love it. So we will see you at the next show in about a month and we love to hear your comments, your questions and just how this is all striking a chord with you. Thanks, marie, all right.

Speaker 2: 27:31

There's that coming up you.