Empowering Asian Women in Real Estate: Kandy Katz's Journey of Identity, Growth, and Self-Discovery

Hey Fit & Frugal Tribe!

What does the journey of self-discovery look like to build a fulfilling life while staying true to your identity and roots?

In this heartfelt episode, I sit down with Kandy Katz, a first-generation Vietnamese American, to explore our shared experiences growing up as Asian women. We dive into the challenges we faced in carving out our identities amidst cultural expectations and language barriers with our parents.

Our discussion dives deep into the journey of self-discovery and the critical importance of building a strong relationship with oneself.

We touch on various topics, including the dual income, no kids (DINK) lifestyle, the power of effective communication in relationships, and the vital role of physical and mental health care. Our conversation culminates with reflections on the transformative power of self-work and the fundamental need to stay true to one's identity.

Come along with us on this intimate journey. Kandy and I share stories close to our hearts, discussing experiences and we're excited to have you with us.

Kandy Katz, born in New Orleans, LA, and now living in the serene Lake Las Vegas, has a rich journey that spans over two decades in the real estate and mortgage industry. A Computer Science graduate, Kandy found herself in Real Estate, navigating the market since 2004. As the marketing manager at Absolute Mortgage & Lending, she excels in creating social media content and educational videos on loan products, offering creative financing solutions to homeowners and business owners.

Kandy's passion extends to coaching loan originators, empowering them to build their social media presence with confidence. In her role as a loan originator recruiter, she helps individuals across the nation secure fulfilling careers.

Outside of work, Kandy cherishes cooking, yoga, hiking, and prioritizes her mental health and spiritual well-being. Having lived in various cities, she finds a unique sense of peace in Lake Las Vegas, envisioning a future retirement in Lake Tahoe with a dream of opening a pop-up pho, banh mi, and coffee shop. Her family's recent franchise venture in Reno is a stepping stone towards this goal.

Key Takeaways:
Embrace your unique path and don't be afraid to go against the grain.
Communication and building a strong partnership are key in a relationship.
Taking care of your health and well-being is essential for overall happiness and success.
Energy is a powerful force that can impact all aspects of your life.
Being true to yourself and following your own path is the key to living a fulfilling life.

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Transcript

[TRANSCRIPT]

0:00:00 - (Tawni Nguyen): I've just learned a new term, which is why I'm trying to explain to my mom it's how I want to live my life. I'm like, have you heard of a dink wad?

0:00:07 - (Kandy Katz): A dink wad or a dink wad? I know what a dink is.

0:00:11 - (Tawni Nguyen): A dink is the dual income, no kid. But the dink wad is dual income, no kid with a dog. When they look at an asian woman, that's a submissive woman, like, she's gonna do what you say is. Because that's the descent, right?

0:00:25 - (Kandy Katz): Yeah.

0:00:26 - (Tawni Nguyen): And that's such a powerful moment that you brought that up.

0:00:29 - (Kandy Katz): It's funny you say about the submissive, although that is, I think, how most Asians are viewed. And what's crazy is, yeah, having date.

0:00:38 - (Tawni Nguyen): Night is so healthy. People feel like you have to spend a lot of money on date nights. But sometimes date night can come to sitting on the couch and having a really nice two, three hour conversation and really connecting at the core. Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Fit and Frugal podcast. I am your host, Tawni Nguyen. You can find me on IG at Tawnisaurus. So today I have with me my girlfriend, Kandice, "Kandy"

0:01:02 - (Kandy Katz): What's up, girl? Thanks for having me.

0:01:06 - (Tawni Nguyen): You know what's really funny that I wanted to ask you.

0:01:09 - (Kandy Katz): What's that?

0:01:09 - (Tawni Nguyen): This is the real estate cheerleader. Tell me more about.

0:01:15 - (Kandy Katz): I actually, my mom had me become a cheerleader in Batum league, like second grade. Right. And it was one of those things. I think she just wanted me to have an activity, stay busy, but fast forward to high school. That was something I think I always enjoyed. I was actually not a realtor, a real cheerleader. I mean, in high school. And I blew out one of my knees, unfortunately, my junior year, and still loved the whole cheerleading altogether, that I wanted to be on the team and squad and became actually the mascot. So I think it was always in my nature to be the bubbly, kind of upgoing, outgoing gal.

0:01:59 - (Kandy Katz): And now being in the real estate industry, I am a big advocate when it comes to loans, whether you're buying your own home and investing. So I think, to me, I'm always cheering people on about real estate. So I think that's kind of where I coined that myself.

0:02:18 - (Tawni Nguyen): I think that's where our energy kind of resonates, too, because I'm like real estate cheerleader.

0:02:22 - (Kandy Katz): I dig it. I don't think anyone out there, but.

0:02:26 - (Tawni Nguyen): Our energy is so different, because speaking of high school, I was the opposite of being a cheerleader in high school, I grew up like the stoner emo. I grew up with that goth face.

0:02:37 - (Kandy Katz): Who did this to you?

0:02:40 - (Tawni Nguyen): Who hurt you? Let me give you my therapist's number. No, but that's why I felt it was really intriguing to ask is because I never saw myself, like, I'm bubbly now because I work through some things too. But when I feel like that energy to where we kind of connect and it's like, cheerleader. I never would have seen myself being friends with a cheerleader because of how I grew up is a little different. I was always more of like, the outcast, a little black sheep, very different.

0:03:11 - (Tawni Nguyen): Not asian enough to fit in with Asians, but not white enough to hang out with the white kids, not smart enough to hang out with the nerds, but nerdy enough to where people beat me up. So I was like that. Your triangulation of identity?

0:03:22 - (Kandy Katz): No, being Asians, you hit the nail on the head. I think when it comes to just, I think high school, grade school, we all struggled with our identity. Like, who are we and who do we fit in with? I don't think we all knew at that time. But what's funny is even though I was not always friends with the Asians, or whatever you call it in terms of demographics, I didn't feel like I fit in. I didn't go hang out with the cheerleader friends.

0:03:51 - (Kandy Katz): They went to go drink and do bonfire things. And the Asians, I feel like they frowned on me because I was just too whitewashed, is what they will call it. And they would make fun of me because when I was cheerleading, I was the one that they actually tossed in the basket toss. And I'm a pretty big asian, I think. And I think that unfortunately, kind of dampered on my light growing up. But I think as an adult now, I feel more confident in who I am and who I can, the energy I can provide to people.

0:04:20 - (Kandy Katz): I think you and I are not that different. I think what just this little snippet of us learning about each other, we're a lot more similar even though we grew up in different environments. It sounds like similar.

0:04:33 - (Tawni Nguyen): Where did you grow up?

0:04:34 - (Kandy Katz): I was born in New Orleans and raised south a couple of hours, not a couple of hours, like about an hour south of New Orleans by the gulf. And the population of the town is like 1200. So the people I went to school with in kindergarten, I actually graduated with my senior year. Yeah, we had maybe like 55, 60 students, max. So really small town mentality. I think when I moved out and went to college in New Orleans or Lafayette.

0:05:05 - (Kandy Katz): I then moved to Dallas right after Katrina, lived there for about ten years, moved to Denver, and this is now home. So that's kind of my path that I've had.

0:05:17 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, I would have never picked you for a little small town, like, southern raised, you know, like that southern bell kind of.

0:05:24 - (Kandy Katz): Yeah.

0:05:24 - (Tawni Nguyen): Like, interpretation of your accent or anything, just because we were talking about how we were know, like, I grew up as an immigrant, like a child of immigrant, I came here, and I feel like our roles now in our social culture is like we kind of became the. How would you say we broke the stereotypical norm is because we don't live in the same place as our parents. We are in a completely different state.

0:05:49 - (Tawni Nguyen): We are also childless. Like, we have our fur babies, and we are proud of that life that we have here in Vegas. Right. Because it took me a little bit of weaving through to get here. Like, how do you feel like being Asian affected you growing up and where you are?

0:06:05 - (Kandy Katz): Know, it's funny you say that, because I think this is really where I am able to share my voice to the world. Right. Growing up in a small town, being vietnamese descent, to your point, even though I was born and raised here, my parents fled their home country, our home country, Vietnam, to come here and basically raise a family of seven, not knowing the language and not having any money to their name.

0:06:32 - (Kandy Katz): So as far as the idea behind being a is this first generation for us or second generation? I never get that right. But I think growing up in that environment where my parents had to flee the war, they were always in that fight flight mode that I think, unfortunately, I had adopted over the years, just because that was the environment that we were raised in. The cultural barrier was very difficult. I think the language barrier, even to this point, is also the language barrier was always more difficult.

0:07:08 - (Kandy Katz): Was difficult because I love to connect with people. I think that's kind of one of my superpowers. And unfortunately, due to the lack of the language, the native tongue that we have, I just can't really connect with my parents. My Vietnamese is. I call it really grade school level. And so I think that's disheartening sometimes as we turn to our parents for guidance, for wisdom, and, I don't know, I can't really connect with them, unfortunately, due to those barriers.

0:07:42 - (Kandy Katz): But as far as what that meant to me, I don't think that really mattered as much as it does now. My line of work, my trade, is I help people get financing for homes and the company that I work for is actually Vietnamese owned. So being that they can speak the language and help guide be the resource for my clients that are Vietnamese speaking has helped me also grow that language, to be able to speak it and more, I guess, be more well versed because things that I'm working on right now is building the website.

0:08:21 - (Kandy Katz): And then we had to have it in English and then also now in Vietnamese. Right. So it was just these things that you didn't think you would ever need later on in life. You think Spanish makes most sense to have as a second language? Maybe French, Chinese, but never Vietnamese. And I'm just glad it's kind of working in our favor. In my favor.

0:08:40 - (Tawni Nguyen): I think being bilingual, we took that for granted. As a kid, I was really fluent. I came here at ten years old. I had to take ESL classes, which was super embarrassing because I went in, I think, at fourth grade, and I couldn't test into fourth grade because I was born after the school year started. So when I had to, I don't know, try to figure out where I am in the american educational system is because I grew up differently in Vietnam, because I was in private school, I was kind of nerdy, like that little only child prodigy mentality that I was raised.

0:09:15 - (Kandy Katz): Are you the only child?

0:09:16 - (Tawni Nguyen): I'm an only child.

0:09:17 - (Kandy Katz): Oh, wow. I didn't gather that. Really? There's a book about that, actually. Do you know, there's a lot of books about that.

0:09:24 - (Tawni Nguyen): Be careful. We're coming. Yeah, no, but I think it shapes my worldview a little bit differently, is because how you were saying how your parents left our home country, right. In a flight or flight kind of like survival mode, coming here and leaving everything behind. It's because I witnessed that as a ten year old, and I came here carrying my mom's trauma with me.

0:09:47 - (Kandy Katz): Right.

0:09:47 - (Tawni Nguyen): It's because we went through adversities even before I came here, and that became kind of like my emotional sponge and my responsibility as an only child. And that's kind of why when people connect with me, they're like, oh, you're wise for your age. This is what sages are like. You're an indigo child. You're here. It's just a different light. I'm like, yeah, but there's a lot of things that people don't talk about, about surviving childhood trauma and actually taking on parenthood trauma is because of, you have to reparent yourself to shape your light differently.

0:10:20 - (Tawni Nguyen): It's like that invisible shield that nobody talks about. It's that like how we grew up asian. But we are so stigmatized to being the good girl and being the only child. Well, for me, it's an only child, but being the golden child.

0:10:33 - (Kandy Katz): Right.

0:10:34 - (Tawni Nguyen): So there's different siblings levels, and for me, that was a lot of pressure. And when I went through my rebellious stage, everyone kind of has the phases that you go through. So I'm curious about how other asian descent women feel within. How many siblings do you have?

0:10:50 - (Kandy Katz): I'm the youngest of five, actually. Yeah.

0:10:52 - (Tawni Nguyen): Okay.

0:10:53 - (Kandy Katz): So a little bit of what I hear from you, I feel your pain, simply because I know my sister went through a lot of that. She being the oldest, I have three brothers in the middle and then myself. I think the barometer that is set for the first child, only child or whatever you call it, in a vietnamese asian household, there's a lot of regard that is, you guys have to meet. There's big shoes to fill, if you would.

0:11:22 - (Kandy Katz): But, yeah, I think, if anything, I am seeing things in a different light now. But to your point, I think growing up, there was always that stigma that, oh, yeah, she's good in math. There's all these stereotypes. You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't know.

0:11:41 - (Tawni Nguyen): It's on instrument.

0:11:43 - (Kandy Katz): The violin.

0:11:44 - (Tawni Nguyen): The violin.

0:11:45 - (Kandy Katz): The piano. Yeah. You grew up wealthy. We weren't around that kind of environment.

0:11:51 - (Tawni Nguyen): But wealthy, but very pressured. I was in aerobics. I did the whole gymnast route when I was younger.

0:11:59 - (Kandy Katz): Yeah.

0:11:59 - (Tawni Nguyen): It was, like, a really weird bits and pieces of memories that I have of my childhood. And when I came here, we couldn't afford it because we left everything. It's because there is a segment of that childhood of when we came here, it was actually a green card marriage. And so we actually fled Virginia, too. We came to Virginia. So it was like, what as hell? It's not like where we are now. So my mom was super culture shock, right?

0:12:23 - (Tawni Nguyen): Like, her leaving her own town. She's also an only child.

0:12:26 - (Kandy Katz): She actually grew up more wealthy dad in the picture. Okay, so was you divorced?

0:12:31 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, they got divorced when I was, like, three or four. Okay, so I am the epitome of every therapist's dream package. Right. Growing up. So it was kind of funny is because that's why I brought that up, is that knowing that she left everything behind to come here so I can have a better future. I've always felt like, a different kind of pressure. I'm like, am I supposed to still carry that with me? And you always kind of grow up and like, oh, fuck, I'm a degenerate because I'm not at the level of the expectations of what we're supposed to be.

0:13:03 - (Kandy Katz): Sure.

0:13:03 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah.

0:13:04 - (Kandy Katz): No, there's a lot of weight carried with that, to your point, of just pleasing or honoring our parents. And I think that's really what we strive for in a lot of these asian households is being able to make our parents proud. Now, will they ever say that or admit to it? No, but I think as they're getting older, at least I can speak to for myself. Yeah. I don't think my parents really know what I do.

0:13:31 - (Kandy Katz): Right. They only know the mainstream titles of doctors, lawyers, statuses. And if you're not that, you're nothing. And that's tough. But I also have learned that maybe it's also what you played out in your head. That's the narrative you created, not you, just in general, because maybe that's what we heard growing up that they wanted from us. But I think more and more, as they see you are happy and you're living life and you're not a troubled child or anything, and living by God's ways and stuff, that they're just happy that you're there.

0:14:08 - (Kandy Katz): Yeah.

0:14:08 - (Tawni Nguyen): It took a little bit of time to turn things.

0:14:11 - (Kandy Katz): 40 years later, and I'm finally coming to terms or peace with that. Yeah.

0:14:17 - (Tawni Nguyen): And I think that takes a lot of healing because I know you mentioned how we're stuck on survival, most of that. So I feel like our parents kind of raised us on autopilot, too. You know what I'm saying? That's what they knew. That's all they had. And I worked through forgiving my parents or my mom.

0:14:33 - (Kandy Katz): Right.

0:14:33 - (Tawni Nguyen): For my dad not being in my life. And all of the fatherly roles that I had was a little bit different than what I assume. Like what a normal. Yeah.

0:14:44 - (Kandy Katz): You had to basically fill that role almost, for your mom to be kind of her partner, per se, be the daughter, be the strength for the family. I mean, I'd imagine that's a lot. Yeah.

0:14:56 - (Tawni Nguyen): So when we were talking about that, I feel like the autopilot thing is, like, I was raised with masculine energy. Even though she's like a feminine woman, she's very passive. She's very obedient. She's very. What's that word? Submissive.

0:15:09 - (Kandy Katz): Right.

0:15:09 - (Tawni Nguyen): Because that's the culture of how to raise women. But her energy has always been so masculine. It's because she was the provider. It's because she had to play the dad role without the authoritative figure and all of that power and control thing. So it was very off balance in terms of how that disconnected us from connecting. Because you're saying it's hard to connect to your parents because of the language barrier. I'm like, I speak fluently, the language my mom speaks, but we have a disconnection in energetic alignment. It's because we can't even have conversations is because it leads to such emotional turmoil, to where it's an emotional maturity thing. For me, sure, she's a lot more soft.

0:15:49 - (Tawni Nguyen): And for me, I feel like I'm too bold or assertive for her. When we have conversations, she's, like, in tears because she can't handle the things that are coming out of my mouth. It's because I'm asserting like, hey, things can be different. You can work on this. And boundaries are very offensive to her. It's because in asian culture, there's no boundaries.

0:16:09 - (Kandy Katz): Yeah, they take that personal. Why don't you want to be around me? Why don't you be close?

0:16:14 - (Tawni Nguyen): Why did you move across date line? To get away from me? It's always about them, and everything becomes personal. That's why I'm always curious on how, since you're born here, I don't know if those values and those things that in typical asian households kind of applies to you.

0:16:31 - (Kandy Katz): I think when it comes to that, I've gone against the grain on a lot of levels. I don't think I'm a good example. And I say that in regards to being the youngest of five, I think has allowed me to get away with a lot of things. Right. Whether it was being able to go to school where I wanted to, maybe move where I wanted to date who I wanted to. I mean, there was things that they kind of put limitations on me as parents that I felt I didn't agree on.

0:17:01 - (Kandy Katz): And yeah, there was times where I felt I was disobeying them and not a good daughter. But I also knew that that wasn't aligning with my true self and happiness and authenticity. And I know this may sound selfish, but I'm going to live a lot longer life than they will if all goes well. Right? So you really have to be true to yourself and stay grounded with what you believe in. And I think over the years, whether it's me dyeing my hair a certain color and just being in, I mean, the girl that likes to go get spray tan, and my parents, they don't understand.

0:17:40 - (Kandy Katz): They don't get it. But to me, I think that's what makes me happy. Like, the whole not having kids, we struggled with that for many, many years, and they actually pushed me away. But now when we really spoke our truth to them and said, look, it's not for us. And they need to respect that, right? I know that they have children so that we can take care of them in their golden years, and we're here to help do that, but having children is not going to make us happy. And it was hard to explain that to them because that's all they know.

0:18:12 - (Kandy Katz): But, yeah, I think as far as the upbringing, it was tough. But at the same time, I think as I moved away further and further, unfortunately, it does feel like, I don't know, I should be there for them. So I have a little bit of that guilt trip because that inner voice does still trigger you at times. You're like, wait, they are getting older. Shouldn't you be around? And I can relate to you, Tawny, about the whole mom daughter relationship.

0:18:45 - (Tawni Nguyen): It's tough.

0:18:46 - (Kandy Katz): It is. So they do. They look at you with proud eyes like, this is my daughter. I have one picture I recently posted on social media with my mom and her and I, we really don't take pictures together. And it was actually from a high school pageant. I'm not like this beauty queen or whatever, but it was just a high school pageant I was in, and I won the title for that. And not to boast, but it's like she was smiling in that picture. I felt like she was first time ever proud of me.

0:19:18 - (Kandy Katz): And it almost felt like conditional love. I mean, I hate to say it like that, but is this what it took, mom, for you to be accepting of me? And so, yeah, we've struggled over the years with that connection, and I think that's what I yearn for right now in my life where we decided to move here in Lake Las Vegas. I'm surrounded by a lot of very powerful, I feel women and wise women, that they help me fill that void that I think my mom wanted to be but couldn't. Yeah.

0:19:55 - (Tawni Nguyen): I think that's where our pain, we kind of resonate with that is because it's always down to, I've just learned a new term, which is why I'm trying to explain to my mom it's how I want to live my life. I'm like, have you heard of a dink wad?

0:20:08 - (Kandy Katz): A dink wad or a dink wad? I know what a dink is.

0:20:12 - (Tawni Nguyen): A dink is the dual income, no kid. But the dink wad is dual income, no kid with the dog.

0:20:20 - (Kandy Katz): I love it.

0:20:21 - (Tawni Nguyen): And I was about to bring that term to my mom. Like, this is a perfectly happy and healthy life that I live right now. Currently, I'm finally feeling like I'm my authentic self and I just feel so connected to myself after all these years of abandoning whatever image I thought I had to become, right? And all that rebellious stage and all of that stuff, just yearning for external validation. But I was chasing external achievements through most of my 20s, even though, yeah, I was fucking up a lot too. But I think when I tried turning my life around, I don't think I did it right. It's because I tried to mold myself into this socially acceptable role of like, I went back to college and doing all of these things and I got my grades together because I barely made it out of high school.

0:21:08 - (Tawni Nguyen): I was like a weird kid. I barely made it out, figuring it out, trying to figure stuff out, dropped out. And then when I went back to college, I call my twenty s. I guess like a pyrrhic victory is because all of the things I achieved, it cost me a lot more to get those achievements. It's like I let my mental health down. Like my physical health was deteriorating and my work life balance was shit. Is because I was after the hustle grind culture. I was working two, three jobs.

0:21:38 - (Tawni Nguyen): All I care about was like, bank account. Like, how much money do I got? Sure. And the people around me was very superficial. They were temporary, seasonal people that I didn't understand in my twenty s. And I didn't make time for actual connection and sitting down and doing something fulfilling. It's because I'm like, I have money, I'm chill, right?

0:21:58 - (Kandy Katz): But I never see you. I mean, it goes back to what we were talking about, the whole autopilot. You were just running and gunning, you were grinding. Right? I can relate to that. And I think that's something I wanted to touch on since this is about being fit and frugal. I think the whole fitness thing. In my twenty s I was living in Dallas and during that time period I was solo. I went there after Katrina. I knew it was just a turning point in my life where I was ready to leave Louisiana and I'm glad I did.

0:22:27 - (Kandy Katz): Dallas was never really on the radar, but at the same time, it allowed me to go through all that bs that I think you're sharing and whether that was relationships, maybe being introduced to Adderall for the first time. Because, girl, I was grinding. I had ATM machines, snowball machines. I was doing an event rental company, I was doing real estate. Right? And so I think it goes back to all of that was keeping me busy. Buzzing around the Adderall helped me just work 16 hours days and just wreak havoc. Right. Your body is just in total shock on top of what you've already carried over from, to your point, generational trauma, your own trauma, childhood, all of that.

0:23:15 - (Kandy Katz): That. When does that finally stop? And you say, look, something's got to change, right? It's not about eating the cleanest, working out all the time, but all of that stuff takes years to unpack and rewire. What did it for you? I mean, it sounds like you went through that. Was it someone you met? Yeah.

0:23:42 - (Tawni Nguyen): Like, you had Adderall? I had mostly cocaine. I mean, I grew up on MDMA. It was the Molly life, the weed life. I started drinking at a really young age, which I didn't realize those were all addictions is because addiction, you were around it. Yeah, like, all my friends drank. It was normal. Right. What did it for me is actually recently I wanted to. Okay, it sounds really weird, but I've began to feel, like, really out of place, like, probably in my early twenty s. And that's why I went back to college. I'm like, I got to turn my life around, but I still carried those addictions with me. It's because, yeah, I went to college, I got better grades.

0:24:19 - (Tawni Nguyen): I did things a little differently. Like, I was bartending. So that's where the root of drinking comes from. And the lifestyle I lived is just so normal. It's because all the businesses I was in, like, I was doing events and all of these corporate events, weddings and all that stuff, it just allowed me to feel that addiction even more. And I think the minute I woke up from that is because I think when I moved here, I didn't know that I was actually running away from myself, because I'm like, if I picked my shit up and just leave my hometown, I'll become a better person.

0:24:51 - (Tawni Nguyen): But no, I took all of that with me, except it put me into this existential, lonely hell, right? It took me to emotional, financial, rock bottom, to where I'm spiritually broken and I'm just sitting in my vest.

0:25:06 - (Kandy Katz): But that was you going through your transformation as well, that you didn't realize.

0:25:10 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah. And physically, I was, like, breaking down because I didn't take care of my health. I carried, like, ten years of just drinking and drugs and stress and burnout with me, and I didn't realize that until I think the universe forced me to slow down. It's like, this is when you're going to slow down, sit with your thoughts. And I couldn't. I couldn't be alone. And that was the codependent thing that I was talking about. I didn't realize how much I was dependent on other people, and I was getting my motivation through people pleasing. And once I had no one around me, I was forced to sit down with yourself, with myself, your voices, who am I? And listening to that inner calling to where I'm like, who am I? And then I start asking myself, like, who am I without money?

0:25:54 - (Tawni Nguyen): Who am I without this? You know what I'm saying? Like, who am I without the status? Now that I'm no longer achieving these things, am I still worthy? And the answer was no. It's because I was at a completely loss of self worth. So when you sit with yourself at rock bottom, you kind of knew, this is it, right? If you're losing your own battle with depression, anxiety, addiction, and all of that stuff, and all you have is just you at the core, I'm like, this can't be me.

0:26:24 - (Tawni Nguyen): This can't be how I continued living my life and it seemed fine, right? We still had, like, I call them, healthy income and all of that stuff, but the body I was experiencing in was, it's so unhealthy, all of these toxic things. It's me. I didn't have healthy relationships, and I blame nobody for that. It's because I chose to be the denominator in those relationships, in those friendships where people were taking advantage of me.

0:26:49 - (Tawni Nguyen): So it doesn't really have to be about what I chose. It's what I allowed. Like, all the disrespect I felt, all the resentment, it's because I chose to be there and I chose to feed into that. So, to answer your question, yeah, it took that much to where you don't realize you're sitting at your lowest low and all of that loss, right. To realize, like, well, I need to change my life. So I start auditing one aspect at a time, and it comes down to fitness. It's not just physical.

0:27:17 - (Tawni Nguyen): It's like mental, emotional, spiritual, financial, and social wealth. It's just everything that encompasses you and your well being as a whole. All of those aspects was broken. So that was the moment I had was like, wow, I got to do something. Just pick one piece at a time.

0:27:36 - (Kandy Katz): Well, I'm glad the universe had your back and nudged you when you needed it most, right? That's really incredible. I think the whole thing with going through it, feeling the pain, processing it, because over the years, the therapy and everything that I have experienced they talk about that. You go through grade school, you go through high school, college, relationships, work, family. And then when life kind of finally hits you, that's when you're like, all right, hold up.

0:28:09 - (Kandy Katz): You've been asleep the whole time. Call it what it is. I believe I study a lot of energy, and that's been something that I've been fascinated about the last few years, just because aside from, I hate to call it like a skin suit, but how we look on the outside or whatever. Yeah, our vessel. We're energy, man. We're like 99% energy. We're beaming around, and this is just our facade. And as much as we are not cognitive of that and what's happening else behind your subconscious, I think, to me, it's really recognizing that.

0:28:48 - (Kandy Katz): And when you finally do, that's when that work happens, and it's really incredible. And who you surround yourself, who you choose to be around, the energy that you want to thrive and learn from and expand with, that's exciting. And so, all things said, I think one of the things I wanted to bring up on today's show, that was the biggest life change for me going through all of this is the recent experience I had on being able to connect to your soul, a journey into your soul, which was very sacred.

0:29:24 - (Kandy Katz): Some of the listeners out there may or may not have heard about this, but you know of it as like, bufo Alvarius, aka toad venom. I had a recent spiritual awakening having that administered. And let me tell you, it just really opened up so many new dimensions. Like, let's just call it the portal. Like, I'm getting really just straight into the spirit right now.

0:29:48 - (Tawni Nguyen): No, let's get into the spirit realm.

0:29:50 - (Kandy Katz): And let me tell you, that has just really lifted a veil. And all these things that we talk about, the limiting beliefs, things that we thought should be and could be or whatever, like, wait, why not? What's holding me back? No one. It's you.

0:30:08 - (Tawni Nguyen): It's you. Like, you block your own blessings.

0:30:10 - (Kandy Katz): You block it. It's all the blockage, like, okay, and how do you unblock it? Right? And it goes back to just gut. Health is the primary. That was what started this whole health journey for me. The blood work, learning about your insides, to be able to better optimize on your outside and supplements to take things that we're deficient on. All these years that your organs have been compromised due to over drinking, drugs, whatever, abuse, poor diet.

0:30:44 - (Kandy Katz): If you're not fixing those things mechanically, internally, how do you truly show up for anyone at your optimal you know what I mean? Exactly.

0:30:54 - (Tawni Nguyen): You're pouring from, like, the last 10%.

0:30:56 - (Kandy Katz): That you depleted on fumes or what have you. Your cup is truly empty. And so, as all of that sounds so cliche, I think it's really been something that I've been diving in more lately, and I think that's what excites me. To me, I think that's what fitness is. It's not about going workout and taking all these classes, but the journaling, the shadow work, the self assessment, things that you have to really see. All right, why am I reacting this way?

0:31:27 - (Kandy Katz): How do I fix it? This is all I knew. But is this how you want it to be? You don't want to be like your parents in that regard, not to discount all that they've done for us, but you learned that they reacted that way because that's all they knew. They were not in an environment that allowed them to have access to the resources that we do now. And, yeah, to forgive them and be empathized, for them to say they really did the best they could.

0:31:58 - (Kandy Katz): And now it's on us. Yeah.

0:32:00 - (Tawni Nguyen): Right now we know better. We're equipped with so much more. But at the end of the day, it also takes, like, a certain mindset, too.

0:32:08 - (Kandy Katz): It's because we're so much more open.

0:32:10 - (Tawni Nguyen): Minded to things that weren't well received before, which is a lot of conditioning, because we were damaging our body without realizing it, because look at where we grew up. I grew up in Vietnam, right? And the food we eat is so different than moving here.

0:32:27 - (Kandy Katz): Oh, yeah, I'm sure it's like, form the table, organic.

0:32:29 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah. We grew up life like farm life, right?

0:32:33 - (Kandy Katz): I didn't really eat a lot of.

0:32:34 - (Tawni Nguyen): Meat because my grandpa was Buddhist, so we grew up very Zen, holistic. We don't believe in medication and all that of that stuff. He passed because of diabetes at a young age, so my mom took that to heart. So when we moved here, the first meal I had after leaving the freaking airport was like, they're like, oh, you must be hungry. They took me to McDonald's, and I was confused as hell.

0:32:55 - (Kandy Katz): I was like, how was your first experience?

0:32:58 - (Tawni Nguyen): I was like, what the hell's a big Mac? They're like, we got to get you a big Mac. I'm like, a what? They're like, oh, a hamburger. Have you had a hamburger? I'm like, I've had one in Vietnam, like, at those nicer gourmet restaurants, but it's with real meats. And when I ate McDonald's here, I was like, what is this?

0:33:13 - (Kandy Katz): Cardboard?

0:33:14 - (Tawni Nguyen): Like, what is this? And then I told you, we kind of grew up pork. So I grew up trying to eat microwave dinners because fast, right? My mom didn't have time. So it kind of brings back to that, like, do I blame them for that? No, I appreciated everything. But I think part of rebellion is educating yourself and knowing better is because once I started learning about our economic system, our agriculture system, I'm like, holy shit, I've been poisoning my body all of these years because I didn't know better. I didn't have the money or whatever. But it's not really about the money, it's still about the choices, because I still see a lot of really wealthier, affluent people making terrible decisions. Even they know it's better. They still kind of talk down to like, oh, organic is the new mainstream thing. I'm like, eating organic is actually not going to make you lose weight. You're just eating less pesticides and environmental damage to your cells on a cellular.

0:34:03 - (Kandy Katz): It's not mass produced and chemically injected on so many levels.

0:34:08 - (Tawni Nguyen): It's not sprayed with all these things that you're ingesting and all of these household products that you're putting onto your body. So it kind of comes down to being conscious about the lifestyle that you choose. Not only to work out like you should work out every day, you should get your endorphins in, you should do the things that make you feel good.

0:34:25 - (Kandy Katz): Get your heart going, but it's not.

0:34:27 - (Tawni Nguyen): Going to solve your problem, right? It becomes internal. And I like that you brought up shadow work. There's a lot of other work that people overlook. It's like inner child work, reparenting, and how we look at ourselves and how we mirror the partners that we choose and put ourselves in relationships with. That's the level of respect you have for you. And it kind of comes down to this mind blowing experience to where I started doing that in the last couple of years.

0:34:52 - (Tawni Nguyen): And I look at any period of my life and I'm like, okay, this period, I was this why I look at the people around me, we enabled each other, right? Because I can't blame them for my people pleasing patterns is because I want everyone around me to be happy. I'm in hospitality. I love hosting, I love people, I love connecting with people. But I didn't realize it comes with the negative downfall of being a people pleaser. Like being a doormat is because you're always trying to make sure other people are comfortable, but at the same time, you kind of self abandon, because if you speak up, it's against the norm.

0:35:27 - (Kandy Katz): Right.

0:35:28 - (Tawni Nguyen): You said you kind of grew up, like, against the grain. That's how it is. We're just never taught to be assertive and kind of speak up for our needs and boundaries. And we just became this thing that people automatically assume when they look at an asian woman that's a submissive woman, like, she's going to do what you say is. Because that's the descent.

0:35:45 - (Kandy Katz): Right?

0:35:45 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah. And that's such a powerful moment that you brought that up.

0:35:49 - (Kandy Katz): It's funny you say about the submissive, although that is, I think, how most Asians are viewed. And what's crazy is my husband is. He's white, but never did he ever expect for me to have dinner always ready. But that was on me. Growing up, my mom was a servant to my dad and us for the most part. Right. And so to me, I felt that that was automatically what I need to do. But mom was also a stay at home mom. She was a full time mom, not like what we are today. We're working woman with dog mom.

0:36:27 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, we're dink wads.

0:36:32 - (Kandy Katz): Freaking dink wads. Yeah. It's funny, over years, I had a hard time with my husband even because I thought I always had to have dinner ready by the time he's home. And we're stressing like, oh, you're not home yet, and the food is cold, he's like, he wasn't expecting it from me. And it caused not tension, I wouldn't say, but misunderstanding that over the years, I was like, he's a well sufficient guy.

0:36:56 - (Kandy Katz): He's not waiting on dinner. Yes. And although it was just how I was brought up that I need to cater to my husband, which I think I do a very good job at, but it's also not no pressure from him that helped alleviate a lot of this. Over the years of misunderstanding, or what you thought was the belief system of how a marriage would be successful. Does that make sense?

0:37:23 - (Tawni Nguyen): Now that you kind of see it, you're like, why did I behave like that? It's because you set the expectation to yourself when it's not even communicated between you guys that that's what he expects. And I feel like having healthy communication is one thing, but building and co creating a healthy relationship is another thing. It's because you can have healthy communication all you want, but if you guys don't have that shared mission, shared values, and shared goals for what your future looks like with or without kids, then you're just kind of doing this circular again, putting each other in autopilot to just survive the marriage itself. And you're not really building that marriage to its full potential of what you want it to look like.

0:38:05 - (Kandy Katz): Right.

0:38:05 - (Tawni Nguyen): Because a lot of people have that wrong.

0:38:07 - (Kandy Katz): Yeah, I agree. No, that communication, I think that c is so critical. Without it, I don't know. We would not be where we are communicating. We're always working on it if we're communicating enough. Right. We both work busy lives, and sometimes, even though we both work from home, too, people would think, don't you guys? Always talking to each other. But we're not. We have our own schedule, we have our own agendas, and very rarely are we in public together.

0:38:36 - (Kandy Katz): We do date nights and we try to network together. But I would not be here, too, without him. He's definitely been a blessing. I know God has brought him into my life for many reasons, and I'm very thankful that he's helped me get to where I'm at today, and I wouldn't be here without him. Yeah, I think that's really rad. Yeah.

0:39:00 - (Tawni Nguyen): Having date night is so healthy. People feel like you have to spend a lot of money on date nights. But sometimes date night can come to sitting on the couch and having a really nice two, three hour conversation and really connecting at the core and kind of reset all of that external needs that we have in the material world. And that's where the soul connection kind of comes in. It's like, yeah, you can sit there and talk about finances and how you want to lead your life, and are we spending enough money here? Are we investing enough? Are we overspending here?

0:39:31 - (Kandy Katz): But also, Tawny, I mean, how many relationships are actually doing that, to your point, right? Are they looking at it? I mean, to me, I joke about it, but marriage is a business. It's a business.

0:39:42 - (Tawni Nguyen): I've been saying all of these years. And people, you're so unromantic. How is your credit contract?

0:39:47 - (Kandy Katz): How is your business? You got to choose your partners wisely. None different than if you were to start your own business. But while we have those meetings to build our financial wealth and things like that, I think it's important to just do little things. It's not even about date night, stepping out of the house, but having a morning coffee session together, doing a walk in the afternoon, or a little break in between to bring the dogs out for a walk. I think those things are those little nuggets that I know. I'm so thankful to have that opportunity where I don't have to report to an office and limited from, hey, you know what? Let's go grab lunch. Not that we do that often, but those are the moments that a lot of relationships, sometimes it goes back to autopilot. You got to differentiate that and be aware of who you are, your identity, don't lose yourself along the way because that can easily happen.

0:40:39 - (Kandy Katz): So having a strong partner to help support you, not only mentally, spiritually, physically push you, I think it's really what makes a marriage successful.

0:40:49 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, because I like that you brought up that you're building wealth together, too. It doesn't really come down to having a lot of money because a lot of people know as a power couple, the more money you make, the more things you can do.

0:41:00 - (Kandy Katz): How are you strategic with it and being a dink? I think it's, hey, how do we capitalize on it? In fact, when we had the business expo this past week at Lake Las Vegas sports club, I had a couple, they live in our neighborhood. They just sold their house and they bought another new build down the street. And I learned that they are double income, no kids. They bought a property. Nonetheless, they're building their portfolio. And I love to hear that, like, yes, you travel, yes, you eat good, but there's nothing that feels better than making money. I think personally that feeds things, those luxury things, or even just lifestyle that you want, whether it's you travel, you got to lodge your kids if they're not traveling with you. And kids in this regard is our fur babies, right? I mean, things cost money.

0:41:47 - (Kandy Katz): And so to me, if you can be a power couple together and generate an abundance of money, I think it's not about more money, more problems, but that's great. If that's an autopilot, let's get that in autopilot, if anything. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because things, I think everything else is gravy. If you already have that established, strong relationship foundation laid out, it only gets.

0:42:13 - (Tawni Nguyen): Better because you got to build with the same mindset, too. It's like, what is it that we're actually after? Because my values always is freedom and being financially free. Yeah, financial freedom and time freedom is because I want to be able to wake up when I want, even though I still wake up at the same time every day. But when you work for yourself, like 5530, I like it early.

0:42:34 - (Kandy Katz): You didn't roll out just now?

0:42:35 - (Tawni Nguyen): I didn't roll out just now. Come here. But it's still my conscious choice. Like, yes, I can probably sleep tonight, but my body doesn't allow that. It's because I find myself in a circadian rhythm.

0:42:47 - (Kandy Katz): 09:00 here, girl. That's like eleven in central time. I mean, east coast, it's like people are done for the day. 09:00 is late.

0:42:54 - (Tawni Nguyen): Exactly.

0:42:55 - (Kandy Katz): I love to hear that. You start early.

0:42:57 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, I start early by like, let's just say eleven. If I get most of my bulk of my output done, I'm like, wow, I'm really productive today. And I love that you can be able to take walks when you want. It's because it's those little moments of grace that you offer each other's humanness. It's just like, hey, let's just go connect as humans without going to spend $500. Yeah, right.

0:43:17 - (Kandy Katz): Like, we can go spend $500 on a meal. You got legs? No. The weather is beautiful. Your kids want you to take them out. Yes. It recharges you. You get your vitamin D. There's so many benefits that a lot of people forget to just go for a walk. Yeah, it helps just clear the air, literally, and give you a new burst of energy. I encourage all the listeners out there, anyone working from home or at the desk, just step away.

0:43:43 - (Kandy Katz): Say, I'm going to take a smoke break. Even if you don't smoke, it's important.

0:43:48 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, I think fresh air is underrated. And I think another thing is just sitting with yourself. I wake up every day and I try to remind myself, even if I'm having an energetically bad morning, because I'm always like, what's going to turn around if I'm having a bad night? Let's just say if something's still bothering me, I try to wake up and shift my mindset. What am I grateful for today? Because you can't really be mad if you're grateful. You can't do both.

0:44:14 - (Kandy Katz): Well, the whole thing about energy and universe is there's only two vibrations that are sent out. You're either positive or negative. Right. And whatever you are saying, what book was that from? That I had read? Three words to avoid because the universe doesn't identify it, whether it's positive, like, know exactly what it is you're saying, but the don't do not. And I think no are the three words to try to avoid.

0:44:40 - (Kandy Katz): Right. Because, yeah, when you say that you're giving the universe, like, vibrations of signals that it could be a negative connotation for them and they're going to give you negative results or negative outcomes, but, yeah, it's just being more conscious and aware of that. Are you saying that as you start your day versus your affirmations in the morning of things that you're grateful, thankful and blessed with.

0:45:06 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, I think that's funny is because I felt like last year, when I was trying to rewire that part of my brain, right? Like, just trying to understand myself on a core level, I gave myself the opportunities, and I am blessed, right. To be able to say yes to so many opportunities, to know that it's not for me, it's because all of these times, my addictions, just because I was just simply out of alignment with myself.

0:45:31 - (Tawni Nguyen): And it took a lot of time for me to unbecome all those things. Sure. I think the defining moment comes down to, like, I don't know what I want to become yet, but I know who I don't want to be ever again.

0:45:45 - (Kandy Katz): Yeah. It's identifying it, archiving it, putting in a trash bin or whatnot, and clearing space to allow room for what it is that you do want to welcome and that you do want to start becoming. So, no, I agree. Nothing happens overnight. That unwiring is a real bee. That's the hardest. And there's days where the devil is going to try to test you. He tries to like, oh, yeah, she's weak right now. I'm going to get her. I'm going to keep her down.

0:46:13 - (Kandy Katz): And that's when you got to brush it off and change your energy, change your vibe, change your activity. So we all struggle. I mean, actually, the podcast that I listened to right before I got here touches on that. It's just putting in that work and being aware. Yeah.

0:46:28 - (Tawni Nguyen): That work is way more than just shouting affirmations, you know what I'm saying? It's actually what healing looks like. It's a lot of crying. It's a lot of ugly crying. Being with yourself, stop lying to yourself and sitting with your darkness. I feel like that compassion, that gentleness and that kindness that really generous people have is because they're able to sit with themselves through their own darkness and they're able to give that back.

0:46:55 - (Tawni Nguyen): Right. They're able to multiply all of that darkness back into light is because they've been there. And I feel like we reflect that because you say energy work, it's real, but doing the deep work, it's a lot. I don't know how to package it. But before, when I went on my spiritual trying to do a bunch of things, it's like, yes, buy crystals if you believe in them. But it's more than just crystal sound bath. And I did the tank, the sensory deferration. I've done a lot of stuff, like, what is that thing called?

0:47:29 - (Kandy Katz): Edmr or what do we, like, the brain waves.

0:47:32 - (Tawni Nguyen): Like, I do reiki. What's the tent thing called?

0:47:39 - (Kandy Katz): Oh, the Angel Lodge. Okay.

0:47:41 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, I've done sweat lodge. Like, I've hung out with shamans. I wanted to do all of these ritualistic things to where I felt like it would fix me. But at the end of the day, like, what you mentioned is just sitting with you at your core. You can slap a band aid on it all you want. Mine was projecting through emotional eating, emotional spending. Mostly is because those are the things I can control.

0:48:03 - (Tawni Nguyen): It comes down to money, but money isn't really bad. When you mentioned, like, don't say no, I felt like my life became more abundant when I said no to more things that I was always yes to because yes to opportunities. But I was doing for the wrong reason because I was attracting the energy that just wanted to take from me instead of pour back into me. It's because I reflected on the people that I was saying yes to.

0:48:25 - (Tawni Nguyen): I still, at the core, wanted to please them. But now that I'm capable of saying no, I became, I think, a more divine and a more intentional person to the things that I actually say yes to by saying no to more things. And I'm like, well, I am more powerful now. It's because I have the ability to choose out of intention rather than a people pleasing place.

0:48:46 - (Kandy Katz): Yeah. And don't hold me to it. But that book, I'll have to reference it. I think the whole no thing is a mental no versus no. I can't. You know what I mean? Like, to your point, you're making wiser decisions of how you want to invest your time or how you want to give your energy away. It goes back to just those life clues, too tawny. Like, do you know we just talked about this. What's your path number?

0:49:09 - (Tawni Nguyen): Oh, life path number. I am a five. A five.

0:49:12 - (Kandy Katz): You're a free spirit. Do you know a lot about that?

0:49:16 - (Tawni Nguyen): I know enough, yeah. Always chasing freedom. Curious at the core.

0:49:21 - (Kandy Katz): Always.

0:49:22 - (Tawni Nguyen): I can't do structure. I don't like being controlled. We should probably google it.

0:49:26 - (Kandy Katz): No, listen, I took a moment yesterday, and it was really bothersome, but at the same time, good. So I'm a life path eight. So just so you know, I was reading up some of the pros and the cons because I think, yes, you're cancer. Yes. You're a Scorpio. A Scorpio. Where's some. Yeah.

0:49:47 - (Tawni Nguyen): When's your birthday?

0:49:48 - (Kandy Katz): June 27.

0:49:49 - (Tawni Nguyen): Okay. No wonder we buy water. Sign connection.

0:49:53 - (Kandy Katz): It's at. We're two kind of like crabs, right? Like a little claws coming out for.

0:50:00 - (Tawni Nguyen): The cry babies, but.

0:50:01 - (Kandy Katz): So check it. I think maybe some of your listeners can help me with this, because as we learn more about ourselves, it goes back to energy. It goes back to how we were created, the time where we were located. I believe in that science. And in fact, in school, the two of my favorite topics were psychology and astronomy. Those were my two favorite subjects that I think I wanted to learn more about. And I never dived in, sadly, because, again, I just wanted to get a degree and hurry up and start making money.

0:50:31 - (Kandy Katz): But more and more, that has been presenting itself in this regard. And so when I hear these life clues, it's like, all right, now you know this about yourself. How do you condition yourself a certain way to excel even more? And this is why I say that. So is there a therapist that can train me to be a certain way? Because you know who you want to be and how you want to be. And so it's not really truly therapy. Is that a life coach? Are they going to tell you?

0:50:58 - (Kandy Katz): Is it? Yeah. Because, look, so some of the positive is a number eight is you want wealth, power, and material comfort, right? You have an enormous ambition and dream of big projects, great undertakings and rewards. We're coined. As a professional, we are usually like real estate people, ceos, owners, things like that. But here are the negative traits that I'm going to put it out there, whatever. You're a workaholic, overly ambitious, lacking humanitarian instincts, which I feel I want to start tapping into more. So it's like, if, you know, you lack it, look, mismanaging money, even though we're good with about numbers, repressing subordinates, and then impatient with people and stressed and materialistic, like, that sounds kind of bad, but is it?

0:51:48 - (Kandy Katz): I know I love a good life. Right? And what does that mean? That differs among everyone. Am I going out and grabbing Starbucks every day, paying $6? No, I'm frugal in that regard. Where we have a machine at home, we get our illy beans. I know my coffee creamer. We save a ton. Am I going out living lavishly, buying brand name things? No, I don't believe in that. I think I love to invest my money in real estate and things that pay back, but it's like the things that maybe if you're a workaholic, how do you control that?

0:52:23 - (Kandy Katz): That's not a good. Look, I feel. And when I say that is, how are you truly balancing your life if you're always working? I mean, these things that, whether it is 100% true or accurate, I can definitely agree that that's pretty damn on point. Yeah.

0:52:41 - (Tawni Nguyen): I think workaholic depends on how you look at it, too, is because it comes down to understanding your. Why are you working so hard? Because if you're working just to work, you're just burnt out. Because one kind of like me, like I was a workaholic in my twenty s, I wanted money, right? And that social status comes with having money, even though I didn't really show it, but I was comfortable. And that comfort led me to make really bad decisions. Mismanaging my money and feeding my addictions.

0:53:08 - (Kandy Katz): Right.

0:53:08 - (Tawni Nguyen): It just allowed me to live, I guess, my bad lifestyles at a higher scale with inflated lifestyle and just doing all of these things that just didn't really fit who I am at the core because I didn't really understand investments until recently.

0:53:23 - (Kandy Katz): Right.

0:53:24 - (Tawni Nguyen): And now that's why I think the resonation comes to the recent days to where we met is like, I think a lot of those traits can be deemed as bad, but workaholism, I think if you're building towards something, you have the rights to be a workaholic. It's because you want to create something for yourself and for your partner. That's totally fine. But I think at the end of the day, when you said lack of humanitarian, you know what, I'm married to.

0:53:50 - (Kandy Katz): A number nine, which is humanitarian.

0:53:53 - (Tawni Nguyen): There's a balance because I'm like, I do a lot of philanthropic work because I love that fulfillment.

0:53:57 - (Kandy Katz): I love.

0:53:58 - (Tawni Nguyen): Are you kidding me?

0:53:58 - (Kandy Katz): My husband calls me Candice the philanthropist because I'm always trying to throw pro bono events. Like, hey, can you sponsor the liquor? I'm always trying to bring groups together and doing it pro bono. To me, maybe that's not necessarily humanitarian, but that's bringing communities together. Sharing them connects and networking, I think.

0:54:18 - (Tawni Nguyen): To a higher level to where when we reach a certain level of wealth, we can actually give back. Because I still believe at the core, the two things that's super easy, but that's really overlooked, is just be generous and be kind. But most people think generous always comes down to money. Like, sure, money is a valuable resource, but so is time. It's because if you truly care about something, like put time into it, because there's a lot of people that I've worked with, with nonprofits and charitable events in the past, they just do it for the pr.

0:54:47 - (Tawni Nguyen): They do it because they can post it on Facebook. It's more for a social status, but for to. I don't think it comes from a place of judgment, but I've kind of asked them like, hey, would you still do this if you can't post about it? Because they're like, how do you separate greed and actually doing it from altruism? Right. Because you really can't. Because social media kind of makes everyone looks good or bad in the same way on how it's portrayed.

0:55:15 - (Tawni Nguyen): And I just think it comes down to, like, would you still do it if no one knows you're doing it? Because that's the core of who you are. Are you still willing to give a million dollars if no one knows it's from you and that those are the kind of people that I really value. It's because they never want themselves to be known.

0:55:32 - (Kandy Katz): Yeah, that's exactly what a humanitarian is. Right. They'll do it out of the good of their own heart, but they're not here to get praise or recognition or need to even have credit for it. And I adore that. About my husband, I think it goes back to. You had mentioned something about giving back when you are a certain wealth status, I think that's where we tend to lose our way, that it doesn't necessarily mean you have to make a certain amount of money or have in your bank account. And I say this why I talked to my dad this weekend, and now that he's retired, he's been able to contribute back to the church, whatever that is, just handiwork around the campus or giving back, doing some of their events and just being an extra hand. And I love to hear that he's able to do that, but he's also doing that because they don't really know what else to do. Like, yes, not to discredit him giving back. I think they're retired.

0:56:30 - (Kandy Katz): They never plan to be retired. They always plan to work until they die. Unfortunately, that's the generation they came from. But that's where I want to be able to change that. The community that my husband and I decided to move to is they are elderly, they are senior citizens.

0:56:48 - (Tawni Nguyen): And to me, I think we chose.

0:56:51 - (Kandy Katz): To live out there is because it is more calm, it is more, I think, less noise away from the strip, and there's a community out there. It goes back to in the past, a lot of the work I've done was transactions. Transactions. Whereas now I'm actually taking a moment and connecting, building relationships having relationships that you heard, the cities I've been moving in, the markets that I've been living in. I've never had a sense of community or neighborhood, and not to.

0:57:21 - (Kandy Katz): Hopefully, it doesn't offend anyone that I've befriended along the way. I just didn't feel like I belonged. And for the first time, I finally feel that here in Las Vegas, the energy, the moon hits you differently, it charges you differently. I think the vibes, the hustle. And so to me, it excites me to want to give back. And whether it's things like financial literacy, helping women that feel they can't go out and buy their own home. And I'm not some me movement or woman activist, but I think it starts there.

0:57:51 - (Kandy Katz): I think there's something like being tugged and called to in that room. That, to your point, this is my trade, but what can I do to give back to the community? And that's philanthropy. That's humanitarian to me. You know what I mean? And to your point, if that's work, then. If that's what you consider work, then, I mean, heck, let's go. God put us here. He gave us an assignment, and we have to be sure we're doing the dang thing that he sent us down here to do. Exactly.

0:58:24 - (Tawni Nguyen): It doesn't even have to be about the money, because people always feel like, oh, donations for the rich. I'm like, it's really not. Because I've seen a lot of really generous people give wholeheartedly, and they don't even make, like, 50,000. And that's just the kind of median income that kind of reflects a lot of values to where people separate themselves. Right. Because that whole income disparity is so high now, or it's so large. Like, the margin in between what's considered affluent and what's considered low income. There's just such a big gap to where if we kind of close that, it comes down to human connection, because I've seen people give at every single level.

0:59:04 - (Tawni Nguyen): But what is it really doing if it doesn't really fulfill you, if it doesn't really start that fire? Like, I love that we're really passionate about certain projects. Like, I love animals. I love, like, there's a lot of human trafficking here. We're in Las Vegas, but where we live, it's quiet. We don't like that noise. We don't like the distraction. But how do you build a community around that? Because I grew up in Orange county, like, most of my life, by default.

0:59:25 - (Kandy Katz): Right?

0:59:25 - (Tawni Nguyen): Because of that guilt of never being able to move away from home because I am the only child. But a couple of years ago, when I'm like, I finally had enough, I'm like, I need, like, I can do better somewhere else.

0:59:37 - (Kandy Katz): Good for you.

0:59:37 - (Tawni Nguyen): Not for my hometown and not for an egoistic perception, but I just needed that growth that was stagnant. Right.

0:59:46 - (Kandy Katz): Forcing yourself to go to a new city, basically not knowing anyone, I mean, I'd imagine. I don't know. Did you have any, like, why Vegas?

0:59:54 - (Tawni Nguyen): It's close enough to my mom, but it's far enough to where she can't just be, like, showing know. And I just felt like a connection to it. I mean, Henderson's a little different than Vegas, but I feel like the city, it's barely at an infancy to where there's a lot of opportunity. There's a lot of things that can be developed over time and then not necessarily in the real estate market, but there's just so much value here. There's so much more things that could be built here.

1:00:21 - (Kandy Katz): Oh, for know, a lot of growth to be mean. I asked you why Vegas? I know all the reasons why. I unfortunately wish that I would have and not unfortunate. And I say that because everything happens at the time. It happens for a reason. I mean, we have friends that live here in Henderson that have been swaying for us to move out here forever. And the thought of like, oh, it's a desert, it's hot, but this place is a hidden gem.

1:00:49 - (Kandy Katz): And listen, as much as I feel it's not about being hush hush about it. I want to move my family here. I want them to see life outside of the strip. It provides a very comfortable lifestyle at a comfortable price point. So to me, I have nothing but good things to say about.

1:01:09 - (Tawni Nguyen): Exactly. There's so many things to do here. There's mountains like, we live by the lake. We actually don't really go to. I don't know if you go, like, I still go to the strip just to meet people if they really want to show. There's options for entertainment, but there's just so many other things out here to do that people are kind of, like, close minded about. Right?

1:01:28 - (Kandy Katz): Right.

1:01:28 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah.

1:01:29 - (Kandy Katz): No, we moved here with the intent that it mirrored a lot of Denver's lifestyle in terms of the outdoors. You can access the mountains if you want to go snowboarding. The golf courses here are abundant. But looking outside of just Vegas, because the valley can get small over time. You got the Pacific Northwest, you got California, you got Arizona. There's everything within either a few hour drive or a hop skip on the plane. And I think that's what we are most excited about, too, having access to all of that.

1:01:59 - (Kandy Katz): But the list goes on. I mean, the no tax, there's international airport, getting in and out anywhere you want, entertainment. I mean, look, the list goes on. So being a dinkwad, this is where you want to be, bro? Just saying.

1:02:16 - (Tawni Nguyen): Dink wad.

1:02:17 - (Kandy Katz): I'm here to tell you.

1:02:18 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, I think this is the perfect city for dink wads, actually.

1:02:21 - (Kandy Katz): Yeah. No, I mean, listen. Why?

1:02:23 - (Tawni Nguyen): Because the education system I heard is not that great.

1:02:26 - (Kandy Katz): Oh, well, that's just what I'm saying. It doesn't apply to us. How are the dog lodges, though, is what we need to be worried about. You know what I mean?

1:02:32 - (Tawni Nguyen): How are the dog hotels, pet friendly pet hotels to where humans can go, too? Like little coffee shops where the dogs hang out with other dogs, but humans can come, too.

1:02:42 - (Kandy Katz): That's what's up.

1:02:43 - (Tawni Nguyen): Dogs need more food. Dogs need, you know, if you go to lazy dog, there's two options for dogs. I'm like, why don't we just make a restaurant to where there's more options for dogs?

1:02:52 - (Kandy Katz): Well, maybe we should put our heads together and do that.

1:02:54 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah.

1:02:54 - (Kandy Katz): We need a little outdoor space for them.

1:02:56 - (Tawni Nguyen): Off the leash. Exactly. Yeah, girl.

1:02:59 - (Kandy Katz): But, no. Thank you so much for inviting me on today's show. Did we touch on our fit? Frugal?

1:03:08 - (Tawni Nguyen): This is a free flowing.

1:03:10 - (Kandy Katz): No, the whole frugal thing is funny. I think it has such a bad connotation. Maybe not. And I say that in terms of. It's the opposite of frivolous, right? Is it frivolous? Is that the other frugal or frivolous? And to me, there's nothing wrong about being frugal. I think growing up in a big household like we did and were immigrants, we were penny pinching, man. I mean, it's crazy how you can feed a whole family for $20, but not nowadays. We go out and we splurge on one meal that probably could have covered the whole month.

1:03:46 - (Kandy Katz): And so I think the whole thing about society, what's so corrupted about it, is we go out to dinner, we go buy that nice purse because it makes us feel good. We go out and buy this nice car. But then you complain about inflation or you complain that you can't afford to buy a house or build the wealth. It's like, no, it's the choices that you made to me, be frugal. Yeah.

1:04:09 - (Tawni Nguyen): And I think that's another thing that I'm grateful about. Because people complain about their mortgage and all these things, and I'm like, but to put that into perspective, be grateful that you can't even afford a mortgage to qualify for a mortgage, because there are plenty of people out there that can't even qualify to get into a home that they've been sold to all of their life. It's like, this is the american dream. I mean, we dream a little differently, I assume, because I feel like our vision to make an impact on this world is a little bit more than just owning one home as real estate investors.

1:04:38 - (Kandy Katz): Right.

1:04:39 - (Tawni Nguyen): And I feel like it's much bigger than us. Like, that calling that you said that was kind of pulling and tugging on all of how we just feel when we wake up. That's why I wake up now. It's because we've kind of grown outside of ourself and looking at the bigger picture and realizing, like, wow, this is so much bigger than us, and there needs to be more of us. And I feel like that's the collective shift that is happening here in Vegas.

1:05:01 - (Tawni Nguyen): All of the transplants that come here. Why do you come here? It's because you're called to come here and people kind of take their time to figure it out. But at the end of the day, there is something that pulled you here.

1:05:12 - (Kandy Katz): Absolutely. This was not by coincidence. You and I sitting down here right now is not by accident. I know it was part of the bigger plan and whatever that transpires to or really down the road. I mean, I'm excited to see, and I'm glad we met, had the opportunity to connect. I definitely see there's a lot more synergy and collab with our dogs with just a conscious, holistic healing realm. And then even when it comes to real estate investment here or outside of.

1:05:41 - (Tawni Nguyen): Nevada, wealth, health and wellness. Bing bing bing bing bing bing. Yeah. I just want to acknowledge you for being here, fully connect and being present. And it's always really nice to honor another woman's energy.

1:05:55 - (Kandy Katz): Thank you, doll. Yeah. Appreciate you sharing your space energy with me and giving me the opportunity to share our stories together and let each.

1:06:04 - (Tawni Nguyen): Other know, like, hey, me too.

1:06:07 - (Kandy Katz): Yeah, me too.

1:06:09 - (Tawni Nguyen): Think wads, part two coming up. All right, guys, I hope you enjoyed today's. My name is Tawni. You can find me on IG at Tawnysaurus again, this is fit and frugal.