Pivot to Entrepreneurship: Dr. Kevin Yee's Journey from Pharmacy to YouTube & High-Ticket Sales

Hey Fit & Frugal Tribe!

Ever wondered what it takes to break free from cultural expectations and carve your own path? Why is emotional intelligence a game-changer in personal growth, especially in Asian cultures?

I'm stoked to sit down with Kevin, a former pharmacist who's reinvented himself as a YouTuber and high-ticket sales strategist.

But Kevin's journey isn't just about changing careers – it's about deep personal growth and breaking the Asian expectations. He discusses the importance of emotional intelligence, the lasting impact of childhood experiences, and why it's crucial for men to embrace vulnerability. With a vision to educate his audience through his YouTube channel and leverage his skills in sales, Kevin is all about creating value without the high-pressure sell.

What's really inspiring is Kevin's dedication to building a community of creators who prioritize meaningful relationships over mere monetization. He's candid about his struggles, from the transformative power of platonic friendships to offering invaluable insights into the journey of self-awareness.

Kevin, the PharmD turned digital entrepreneur, is the go-to guy for professionals seeking inbound sales strategies that ditch the sleaze for sincerity. Picture B-school smarts meets Big 3 consulting savvy, minus the mountain of debt.

Kevin is also a 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu practitioner with a knack for making friends and sharing his journey on YouTube. He's passionate about helping people escape unfulfilling work to build their dream life, and he's taking us all along as he builds his business from scratch.

So, whether you're an aspiring entrepreneur, someone seeking personal growth, or just curious about the twists and turns of a unique career path, this episode with Kevin is packed with insights, advice, and real-life lessons. Let’s dive in and explore what it takes to build a life that's not just successful, but truly fulfilling!

Key Takeaways:
Loneliness can be felt even when surrounded by others, as it often stems from comparing ourselves to others.
Emotional intelligence is not commonly emphasized in Asian culture, but it is crucial for personal growth and healthy relationships.
Skill acquisition is essential for entrepreneurship, and it's okay to start over and learn new things.
Building a strong vision and mission is key to success as an entrepreneur, as it provides direction and purpose.
Healing and self-reflection are important for personal growth and can lead to better relationships and a more fulfilling life.

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Transcript

[TRANSCRIPT]

0:00:00 - (Kevin Yee): Alcohol budget is pretty zero, but I've always been pretty minimal, honestly. Even when I was, like, making six figures in the pharmacy, dude, I was fucking sleeping on the floor and shit. On a Japanese's futon. Yeah. There's like just a lot of. I just felt so miserable. And people are like, I don't get it. Why are you so miserable? And it's just like, I think at the end of the day, I was always like a creator. I always wanted to do something more. I never liked.

0:00:25 - (Kevin Yee): I was always a bit rebellious, right? But I never got to express that side of me. Just stop and reflect for a bit and just be like, oh, shit, do I actually feel this way? Because I feel like most men. The unspoken truth with a lot of men is like, a lot of us are lonely even though we're not alone, right? And it's really interesting. We feel this loneliness because we're around other people. We're comparing ourselves to other people.

0:00:54 - (Kevin Yee): If we were by ourselves, we wouldn't feel this loneliness. That's the difference between being alone and loneliness is.

0:01:05 - (Tawni Nguyen): Everyone, welcome to the Fit and Frugal podcast. I am your host, Tawni Nguyen. You can find me on IG at Tawnisaurus. So today I have here with me my friend Kevin.

0:01:12 - (Kevin Yee): Kevin, what's up? Usually people are like, hey, introduce yourself.

0:01:20 - (Tawni Nguyen): But I was going to.

0:01:24 - (Kevin Yee): I love this. You were? What are you going to say? So many bloopers today.

0:01:35 - (Tawni Nguyen): When did you become a youtuber?

0:01:38 - (Kevin Yee): Sorry? When did I become a youtuber? Oh, man. Well, first of all, thank you for having me on your podcast. I really appreciate it. It's kind of funny that we're talking about fit and frugal type of stuff because you're asking me how I got into YouTube. And for me, I actually always hated, if you don't know me, I actually used to be a pharmacist back in the day. And, dude, I freaking hated it so much.

0:02:05 - (Kevin Yee): And so it wasn't until I moved into a YouTube house, my friend handed me two books. Start with why by Simon Sinek. And then also rich dad, poor dad. And I was like, holy. Can I swear on this podcast? Holy shit, dude. There's this world that I don't really know about. And that's kind of like what led me to do YouTube, because I always want to do it since the early college days. So that's kind of how I fell into it. So since 2015, how do you think.

0:02:36 - (Tawni Nguyen): That's perceived by asian culture? Like, with asian parents.

0:02:44 - (Kevin Yee): I still feel like media, especially new media with youtubers and stuff. I don't think our parents really get it. My mom knows that I do YouTube and stuff, and I think she might stalk a few of my YouTube videos, which kind of like, I don't know if I want her knowing some of the stuff I say, but my mom's pretty accepting. But especially with these days, I see a lot more. I don't know. I don't know what the word for it is. Maybe asian representation.

0:03:15 - (Kevin Yee): I'm seeing a lot more these days, so I think it's a lot more. Yeah, yeah.

0:03:20 - (Tawni Nguyen): I think when I first think about YouTube, there's, like, misrepresentation, too, because always the really mainstream asian culture is shown. Right. But now I think with more of our style of entrepreneurship, it's also like a direct representation of a different alternative lifestyle, I think for asian culture, yeah. It's because you did get a college degree. So did mean, but neither of us use our college degree.

0:03:50 - (Kevin Yee): I feel like the biggest fucking. They're like, Kevin, you went through not only undergrad, you went through your doctorate, you even practiced for a bit, and now you're just throwing away. But I don't look at it like that. I feel like part of it is like, we evolve, we grow. And those skill sets I was using in pharmacy no longer served me. I believed that there was something more for me out there. And whether my parents believe in my YouTube or not, thank God my mom really was for it. My dad was on the cusp, but when he was about to die, he's like, oh, yeah, go do it.

0:04:31 - (Kevin Yee): But regardless of my parents approval, at the end of the day, they're going to be dead. I hate to say it, but my mom and dad are going to be dead, and I'm going to be left with the consequences in living this life. And if I am going to take a risk, I might as well take a risk right now while I'm younger versus later in life and stuff. Before kids and all that.

0:04:53 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah. What are those skill sets that you feel don't serve you anymore? For pharmacy.

0:04:59 - (Kevin Yee): It'S like stupid shit. It's like corporate bureaucracy and stuff like that. Navigating corporate stuff or knowing these random laws that you have to know for regulation. But there are a lot of cool skills I gained from pharmacy, like the art of breaking bad news to people and shit. Yeah.

0:05:19 - (Tawni Nguyen): What do you mean?

0:05:20 - (Kevin Yee): Oh, show me. Oh, I'm sorry. We gave your dog the wrong pills or we gave your child the wrong pill. It's like deescalating. Situations like that.

0:05:31 - (Tawni Nguyen): Does that happen.

0:05:32 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah. I didn't make the mistake. Thank God. Thank God. I have malpractice. I had malpractice while I was practicing, but it does happen. Those things happen also. Things like drug diversion. Right. A lot of people go to a pharmacy from a script doctor, right? They just hand out narcotics or promethazemic codeine or norco adderalls and stuff, and they're just writing for. It's one of those pill mills. That's what we call it.

0:06:05 - (Kevin Yee): And how do you break it to someone being like, hey, I can't give this to you because it's illegal. Because there's something called corresponding responsibility, meaning if they get busted, I get fucking busted, too. I'm equally as responsible for that shit. So it's like, how do you deescalate those situations? Right?

0:06:24 - (Tawni Nguyen): So what was the most shady or unethical or questionably moral thing that you did as a pharmacist?

0:06:30 - (Kevin Yee): That I did. Allegedly.

0:06:33 - (Tawni Nguyen): Allegedly.

0:06:34 - (Kevin Yee): A friend did. I was actually always pretty by the books. I was always very honest. So a lot of people will lie to their patients, be like, oh, we're just out of stock on this, right? If there's drug diversion going on, but I just confront it. I'd be like, hey, I pulled up your name and all that. I noticed all these entries from the other pharmacy. What's going on? So I throw it back onto them and have them answer a question.

0:06:59 - (Kevin Yee): It's like, unfortunately, I hate to say this, but I can't fill this. I'm legally responsible for this. Here's your script back. You can go to another pharmacy or whatever, but we can't fill it here because it doesn't solve the. That's the thing. And that's what I find about entrepreneurship, especially in the world. I'm in, like, high ticket sales, inbound sales, and all that. It's like we have to be very direct about certain things, but being very tactful about it.

0:07:28 - (Kevin Yee): If you notice someone's broke, you don't just say, hey, it looks like you don't have any money. That's not very tactful. You're more nuanced about it. It's like, hey, it seems like there's something on. You mentioned finances a few times. It seems like there's something on your mind. What's going on? Right? Like, it's a more softer way versus, like, hey, you're fucking broke. What the fuck?

0:07:49 - (Tawni Nguyen): Negative $100,000.

0:07:52 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah. What's going on? Yeah. So those are some of the skills that I used in pharmacy back in.

0:07:58 - (Tawni Nguyen): The day, what's transferable? You feel besides the communication, right.

0:08:08 - (Kevin Yee): Mostly the tactful communication. But I also think the other areas that were really applicable were especially, like, in my world, the Internet marketing world, there's a lack of professional presence, I would say. So a lot of be like, hey, I'll get to this never gets done and all that. But for me, when I say I'm going to get shit done, it's always done. You never have to worry and stuff. And that's the one thing I feel like school can teach.

0:08:38 - (Kevin Yee): I don't even think school is the reason why, but you just need a professional demeanor when you're working with patients and stuff, and it's just lacking in this online space a lot of times.

0:08:48 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, because you mentioned that you had to deal with corporate bureaucracy. Right. Like, how did you have to unwire your brain from a w two employee to shift into being an entrepreneur? Right. Because I feel like w two employees are more wired to be a certain way to run by system to operation. Like just working by the books, like you said.

0:09:11 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah. Honestly, if I were to put being a w two and I would go back into that lifestyle again, I kind of think of being a w two like a mom and being controlled by your mom and dad almost right where it's like, what I noticed is that there's a lot of corporate gaslighting. Everything you do is wrong. No matter what you do, it's always your fault. That's the vibe that I got in corporate a lot of times, and I worked at multiple corporates too, so I always got the same feeling. Right.

0:09:41 - (Kevin Yee): But, yeah, I think kind of breaking out of that a little bit more. It's like when you become a teenager and maybe in your college years, you're kind of like analyzing things a little bit more objective and you're just like, maybe they're not always right. Maybe there's a different perspective out there. And I think you need to have that voice, especially in entrepreneurship, because you're no longer following anymore.

0:10:05 - (Kevin Yee): You have to lead and you have to set out the visions and stuff. You can't just go based off of other people's opinions all the time. Yeah, that's what I find. How about yourself?

0:10:15 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah. Because I think that is the two most impactful books most entrepreneurs start with is rich dad, poor dad, or any Kiyosaki series of how to get themselves out of the rat race or the Matrix. I call it the Matrix. But people like the rat know and start with why is always having an underlying vision behind why you want to do all these things. That's outside of money. I think the most biggest reason why you become an entrepreneur is you think you're going to make a lot of money.

0:10:42 - (Tawni Nguyen): Technically, from what I've experienced in the last maybe five years of true entrepreneurship, it's like you actually don't. And financial instability is the core of being an entrepreneur because your vision and your mission, and you're so driven by it that the money isn't something that fuels you, but it's really your passion and the things that you want to change the impact that you want to create for others. Right.

0:11:02 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah.

0:11:02 - (Tawni Nguyen): You're more fueled by, like, I want to do something so that I can help others while I achieve whatever I set my heart to.

0:11:10 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah, that's so interesting that you mentioned that. Because speaking about vision and mission and all that sort of stuff, I recently came back from my friend's mastermind of Vanessa Laos and stuff. And what's really, really interesting, because I've always kind of struggled with this, like, vision and mission until recently, I think as a w two, you're always going under someone else's vision and mission, but for the first time, you have to, like, I mean, as a w two, I was really good at executing, doing everything that's told really, really well.

0:11:43 - (Kevin Yee): But it's a different skill set to just being able to sit down and just really map out the vision of why does this even matter at all to you personally? And being able to communicate that if you have a team and stuff, being able to communicate that, too. But it has to start with you first, right? Yeah. It's really funny because I always struggle with that. And when I went to this event, everybody was super strong. They had it dialed in. I was like, I think this is a secret why some of these people have been ultra successful and why I haven't hit that level of success that they have quite yet.

0:12:22 - (Tawni Nguyen): The mission and the driven, there's no clarity in that.

0:12:26 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah, it's like what I realize, and this goes back into things like therapy and self care. It's like noticing, for example, the things that piss you off, the things that break your heart, the things that really drive you, like the experiences that people are always asking about where you can help other people and stuff. And for me, I never did that because I never want to sit in those feelings at all.

0:12:53 - (Kevin Yee): I felt like I would always make up some excuse, like, I'm too busy for this, I got to go do this instead. But in reality, that's the most important thing as a founder and someone that is driving your business.

0:13:10 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, no, I agree. And I think social media, which is kind of ironic that you're a youtuber and social media is the bread and butter of your business, right. It's being seen and having a social presence that's not like face to face interaction. And I think social media makes it diluted and kind of easy for us to be distracted. It's because you're choosing to go doom scrolling, like you're choosing the unconscious choice. But most people don't realize that that's choosing to not sit in your feelings, because it's a lot easier to pick up your phone because I know I do this a lot, too. Back then, I was trying to work, and my phone's nearby.

0:13:42 - (Tawni Nguyen): If I start getting stressed out over a little task, I would distract myself. I'm like, and I'll instantly go to Instagram or something like that.

0:13:50 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah.

0:13:51 - (Tawni Nguyen): And it's a structure. I feel like that our brains wired because it's so easy. It's like an automatic response. It's like every other minute I notice when I'm bored or that task doesn't really fulfill me, I would pick up my phone and what I do. And it's incredible that you kind of bring that up, too, because for men, not a lot of men realize that they actually have to sit in their feelings, because healing and feeling your feelings isn't something that's portrayed in the masculine world as something that you should be doing.

0:14:19 - (Tawni Nguyen): It's a different light to shine on it, because you know how, like, Lewis Howes takes pride in how he's worked on his healing experience and bringing all these stories and how his sexual abuse shaped him as an individual, even though he was really incredibly talented as a man playing sports and doing all these things. But he was just projecting his masculinity in toxic ways that was really affecting his relationship with women. And until he decided to take on that healing journey, that was when he had the profound experience to open his heart and receive better relationships in his life, like his current girlfriend and stuff.

0:14:55 - (Tawni Nguyen): So how do you think you taking on your healing journey affect you as an entrepreneur or as a person that's stepping out of that?

0:15:04 - (Kevin Yee): You know, it's really interesting because that's not the first comment that someone has said, like, oh, Kevin, you seem, like, very in touch with your emotions or very, like, you notice a lot and you're very self aware. And by the way, men, dude, that has gotten me the most women ever in my life. Hot take back to your question, though. Well, I have a follow up question. Why do you feel like it's so. Like, why do you feel like so many men don't talk about this?

0:15:34 - (Kevin Yee): Why do you feel like this emotional intelligence isn't prevalent in the manosphere or masculinity?

0:15:42 - (Tawni Nguyen): I just think the community and reaching out isn't well supported. There isn't enough men that are willing to sit and be vulnerable with another man and receive acknowledgment from another man. Like, hey, I'm going through a hard time. Can you just sit and listen to me?

0:16:03 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah.

0:16:03 - (Tawni Nguyen): Do you know what I'm saying? It's much harder, I feel, like, for men to have those conversations. It's because girls, I guess, we sit around, and I think the mainstream light is like, we sit around, we talk about our feelings.

0:16:12 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah.

0:16:13 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yes and no. But it's much easier is because everything is attached to feelings and, oh, this person did this. I feel this. It's much easier to say than you as a man, going out to one of your buddies is like, hey, this happened to me today. And I feel this. I'm upset because this person did this, and it triggered me because of whatever. So I just think there's just a lack of support overall of how being vulnerable with one another is viewed, because it's kind of viewed, not homophobically, but in the sense that there's not enough trust in man culture.

0:16:48 - (Kevin Yee): No. It's really interesting. Speaking about Simon Sinek, I was watching his podcast episode with diaries of a CEO.

0:16:55 - (Tawni Nguyen): Have you seen that, Stephen Barlett?

0:16:57 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah, yeah. And Simon Sinek was talking about how one of his special forces friend or friend in the uniform forces, and how they say, like, hey, I miss you. It's been a while, bro. They'll say, I love you and stuff like that. I'm like, wow, that's so interesting. And I think for me, especially on YouTube, I talk a lot about what's on my mind, the emotional vulnerability and stuff like that. And I think a lot of it gives a place for a lot of men just to kind of just stop and reflect for a bit and just be like, oh, shit, do I actually feel this way?

0:17:38 - (Kevin Yee): Because I feel like most men, the unspoken truth with a lot of men is like, a lot of us are lonely even though we're not alone. Right. And it's really interesting. We feel this loneliness because we're around other people. We're comparing ourselves to other people. If we were by ourselves, we wouldn't feel this loneliness. That's the difference between being alone and loneliness is. It's that comparison to other people's situations and stuff a lot of the time.

0:18:11 - (Kevin Yee): That's from the courage to be disliked. One of my favorite books, very controversial. It talks about denial, trauma, and stuff like that. Alderian psychology. Kind of like the stuff that Joe dispenza talks about too, but like, very similar type of things. Tony Robbins, that type of world. But yeah, I feel like a lot of men don't actually talk about know. And by talking about it more on the Internet, I feel like gives people a lot of space. And then, honestly, it probably saves lives too, because they realize, oh, fuck, maybe I'm not in a good place right now. Maybe I should get some help.

0:18:48 - (Tawni Nguyen): I think what's also not being said is that there's much easier coping mechanism for men that are portrayed as healthy, but it's not. It's just culture and society norms that even for me, I know that I was abusing alcohol, right? It's just to numb. It's just to cope with whatever negative feelings. It's just if I'm triggered, I'll grab a drink or whatever. But in, I would say, like men's culture, it's normal to grab a beer with your friend. It's normal to go watch the game. It's normal to just sit around for a couple of hours and literally talk about nothing.

0:19:22 - (Tawni Nguyen): Not feelings or not goals or not whatever, but just, oh, that chick this and that, right? Like, I'm pretty much butchering my man card right now, but I think it's much easier for it to be gloss over because it's such a normal thing for dudes to do, is to sit around and literally talk about nothing. It's not like, hey, how can I help you achieve your goal better? Hey, what's your goal this month? Like, if you want to make more money, let's make more money.

0:19:43 - (Tawni Nguyen): But it's just sitting around kind of like wasting the time because they're both coping together. I feel like, because it's such a numbing and it's such like a comforting feeling to just shoot the shit, right? Because it is comforting. You go out, you grab a beer, you don't really think about anything, but again, you're numbing yourself from feeling those feelings. That if you were to be alone with your feelings, you would be like, why do I feel bad today? Why did that cashier mentioning this word make me feel weird?

0:20:08 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah, it's interesting. That's why I feel so strongly about positive habits. Like things like Jiu jitsu, because you'll slap hands, fucking choke each other and shit. But then sometimes you have those moments where you just talk off the mat, be like, hey, how's everything going with blah blah blah, your wife, your kids and stuff? How are you? Or, like, when we're not on the mat, we'll be like, hey, you want to see the UFC fight tonight? We'll go up for a UFC fight, watch stuff, talk about Jiu jitsu.

0:20:38 - (Kevin Yee): But even positive habits like that. But even with this new content world, like, the other day, I reposted a story about, like. It was a story about, like, no one will remember the late nights that you worked except your kids, right? 20 years from now or something like that. And one of my friends, jujitsu bro, he was like, dude, my dad was like that. And it just opens up these conversations when you just talk about stuff.

0:21:06 - (Kevin Yee): And I don't know. Sometimes I feel like. Sometimes I wonder in the back of my head, am I over sharing too much? Am I doing all that? But then I'm just like, fuck it. This is the shit that I want that's on the Internet. This is stuff that's important for me, and it's important for me to be able to go back and just be like, oh, I was actually feeling this at one point. If it even just helps one person, it's worth it.

0:21:28 - (Kevin Yee): Fuck it. Who cares? Yeah.

0:21:31 - (Tawni Nguyen): Do you feel that you're more emotionally regulated now is because you are aware of your own feelings? And you know how when we talked about how our parents raise us, most asian kids weren't raised with emotional intelligence. They were raised not with words, with affirmation, maybe gifts. If anything, it's mostly through foods. It's mostly through acts of service. But in a really scornful, joking, banter way, I don't think our parents ever really sat down and be like, hey, I love you. You're doing a great job. I'm proud of you. Right? Because that's probably the phrases that we never really grow up hearing.

0:22:04 - (Tawni Nguyen): It's just something that I kind of ask myself, like, would I be happy hearing it now, or would I not be able to receive it? It also comes from a receivership, because I don't think I would be comfortable sitting down and my mom telling me those things right now.

0:22:18 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah, it's kind of weird because especially growing up in that asian household type of thing, it's just like, I don't know. We've been conditioned so long for it to be a certain way. And then when I have this story that I tell on my YouTube channel all the time. I went to this woo woo personal development thing. It was super culty, by the way.

0:22:41 - (Tawni Nguyen): Super is awesome.

0:22:43 - (Kevin Yee): It was super.

0:22:44 - (Tawni Nguyen): Tell me how woo woo it is.

0:22:45 - (Kevin Yee): All woo woo is probably like six outdone. Five outdone wasn't super woo woo, but it was culture as fuck. That's why I mumper. What is culture like? Dude, it was almost like one of those MlM things where they were like, bring a friend, blah, blah, blah. Like, drink from the fucking koolaid ship right?

0:23:03 - (Tawni Nguyen): Now, I know not to answer your text when you said, hey, you want.

0:23:05 - (Kevin Yee): To go to this? You want to go to this event? I'm not going to tell you about it, but I went there when I was like, I think, 29, right? Yeah, I went there when I was 29. And what was really crazy was there was this one exercise. I can't remember it, but I was bawling my eyes out. And then all of a sudden, that third eye shit, I had this crazy moment where it was like. It went all white, and it was like something was like, you need to talk to your dad, and you need to repair that relationship with your father.

0:23:39 - (Kevin Yee): So after I cried my ass off at that vet, I pick up the phone, I called my dad, and I was like, hey, dad, I don't know why. Something just told me just to call you, but I want to say, I know that we never gotten along all these years, but going forward, I don't know how much longer I have you, and going forward, I just want to have a better relationship with you. And then I was like, I just want to say, I love you, dad. And then my butt cheeks start clenching and stuff, because I'm just like, oh, my God, this is so fucking awkward.

0:24:13 - (Kevin Yee): And then my dad. Yeah. It's like, have you ever had those moments where you say something, you're like, oh, fuck, this is like, what's going in my mind. Obviously, physically, I wasn't doing that, but this is what's going in my mind. And then my dad was like, I love you, too. And the crazy thing is, like, think. Seven months later, my dad passed away.

0:24:37 - (Tawni Nguyen): Oh, really?

0:24:38 - (Kevin Yee): It was pretty fucking trippy. But during that summer, we went to Bermuda. I roomed with him. I got to know my dad a little bit better. And it's like, the truth is, we can. As uncomfortable as it feels, those buck clenching moments, sometimes we have the ability to change those things. And especially after my dad died, I made a stronger effort to keep and have a better relationship with my mom. Because I didn't treat her that well early in time, because I think it's a bit about, like, my dad was always kind of like, the Gressor in the family, and my mom, she was a very kind soul, but she couldn't really protect me, and I held resentment toward that. I think that's what I didn't realize at the time. But now I realize it now.

0:25:20 - (Kevin Yee): I'm like, it wasn't her fault. She did the best that she could, given the circumstances. And I'm just, like, trying to have a better relationship with her. I tell her what I'm feeling. I tell her what I'm going through, and our relationship is really great. So I think we can change that dynamic if we put intention to it.

0:25:39 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah. I think I had the same kind of household growing up, too, like, with my stepdad, too. And I always blamed my mom. You're supposed to be my protector, but I didn't know that at the time. She's also in her masculine, too. It's because she was the provider. She was the survivor, right. The trauma survivor. Because I was raised mainly by a single mom, like, most of my life, with all her traumatic stuff. So I don't know that the correct term is, like. I think I was, like, parentsified, right. I had to be the parent to her is because she was emotionally unaware of herself and her own regulation. So I think starting, like, eight, nine years old, parentification became a thing. That's what I learned in therapy, is that they're like, yeah, it isn't necessarily good that you're mature for your age or whatever. It's because your childhood was taken away from you at a young age. It's because you had to become the parent to your parents.

0:26:30 - (Tawni Nguyen): And I kind of lost that sense of childhood and all of that know, like, growing up that you're supposed to have, they're like, hey, did you see this movies? All the Disney movies? I'm like, I never had any of, like, I never had that kind of childhood that people remember. It's because most of my memories kind of gone to from traumatic experiences on my own and with my mom. So I think after a certain age, I kind of went back with my mom, like, hey, I want to have a better relationship.

0:26:56 - (Tawni Nguyen): But she kind of goes back to a pattern, like, we'll be good for a few weeks, where she understands boundaries and she just slowly gets enmeshed again into her own pattern of over giving and over bleeding into the boundary that we've set that makes that relationship healthy.

0:27:11 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah.

0:27:12 - (Tawni Nguyen): So I appreciate you sharing that the time thing, because that was the timing thing for me too. Because they say once your parents get older, once you get to a certain age, it's not how many years you have left with your parents, but how many times left that you're going to see them. Right?

0:27:26 - (Kevin Yee): That's true.

0:27:27 - (Tawni Nguyen): So that moment kind of changed for me too.

0:27:31 - (Kevin Yee): When your mom reverts back, do any feelings of resentment come up for you at all? It does, yeah.

0:27:39 - (Tawni Nguyen): It becomes like more of a guilty feeling because I blame myself. It's like I thought I was doing a good job in terms of establishing the boundary of my needs. Finally, it's because I never had needs as a child, because all my feelings were validated by how good of an overachiever or how good I was at performing this golden child role. Because I'm an only child too. So of how good of a job I am doing to pretend like I'm somebody I'm not, right? And that was most of my teens, most of my twenty s or whatever. I was never able to live my own life.

0:28:09 - (Tawni Nguyen): I have to live under the lens of this perfect portrayal of what a good girl should be or whatever, which is a whole epidemic of, I feel like people pleasing patterns that I picked up from childhood that I didn't realize I had was because my validation of self came through others and I never had an established identity of who I really was because I was just living for other people and just reliving this image of what I think I should be when really I had no fucking clue.

0:28:38 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah. Do you feel like, sorry, I'm hijacking your podcast friend zone? Friend zone.

0:28:48 - (Tawni Nguyen): Podcast?

0:28:50 - (Kevin Yee): No. Do you feel like, I guess, relationship with your mom and stuff and I don't know anything about your biological dad or anything like that, but do you feel like that's kind of affected your relationship life at all? It did, yeah.

0:29:08 - (Tawni Nguyen): So they were divorced when I was four. That's what I know, right. And I think in my twenty s I had a chance to meet him, but I was like going through shit and I was like, no, I refuse. And all of this stuff is because I had a bad relationship with my stepdad too.

0:29:22 - (Kevin Yee): Okay.

0:29:22 - (Tawni Nguyen): So I didn't have a good relationship with myself. So I think throughout my relationships that I was more of a trauma attachment to my previous relationships because it stems out of loneliness and trying to be in a relationship for the longevity but not the health. I was in two pretty long term relationships to where people are like, oh, you're in a three. I think three and a half and like a seven ish year relationship.

0:29:46 - (Tawni Nguyen): Technically three. You're doing a great job or whatever, I just stayed in it. But I wasn't really present for the relationship because it wasn't really healthy, because I wasn't healthy, so I stayed in it. And it affected me is because that I feel like the relationship with my mom is because she's with my stepdad or whatever. And however their relationship is, it's length. And asian parents has a different way of saying relationship. Like, their loyalty is different than how we view loyalty.

0:30:14 - (Tawni Nguyen): Right. It's because they're like, it's family, it's blood and all this stuff, but really, they don't understand it's more attachment than it is. Right. It's a different lens on being a resilient woman. It's like just because you can endure more or can tolerate more abuse or more negative toxic patterns doesn't mean that you should. But I don't think women, especially asian women, have that understanding or that education to understand that you can actually physically leave, pick up your things and go and start over.

0:30:42 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah. So it's almost kind of like a fight response to like, oh, I don't want to end up like mom and dad subconsciously. Okay, very interesting.

0:30:51 - (Tawni Nguyen): I think that was my pattern too. It's like, I'm staying because this is all I know. Doesn't mean it's good. It's better, but it's not the best.

0:30:59 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah.

0:31:00 - (Tawni Nguyen): So I think that kind of affected how I chose past previous relationships and why I stayed in them is because I wasn't fully in my conscious. I wasn't really in my power to choose to be in that relationship. I was just kind of there. Right. Because it was an autopilot response. I was just kind of present, like, in my body, but I wasn't really in my body.

0:31:20 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah, that's so interesting.

0:31:23 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah. Right?

0:31:24 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah.

0:31:24 - (Tawni Nguyen): How even childhood trauma has such a profound impact on how you choose your relational partner and how that impacts, I think, all aspects of my relationships, too. All my friendships and all of these people that was in my circle or whatever I called my circle back then was, I don't think it has really true values to how I choose my friends now and the people that should stay in my life.

0:31:47 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah. Now that I think about it, I think about, like, my dad was kind of avoidant attachment style, and I'd be like, why am I attracted to all these fucking abgs and shit? They're all avoidant, right? Maybe I'm trying to seek approval from my dad to these abgs avoided attachment. But I think about that, and then when I actually had someone who's pretty secure, right? I was like, I don't want this.

0:32:14 - (Tawni Nguyen): And then when she's boring, this is.

0:32:16 - (Kevin Yee): Kind of boring, right? I'm not attracted to it. And then when she started leaving, I was like, oh, fuck, I'm going to lose her. I need to fight for it and stuff. And just kind of like what you were explaining. I was just trying to fight to keep that relationship honestly.

0:32:31 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, but you don't realize, do I even want this relationship? Or you were just trying to get it just to have it?

0:32:37 - (Kevin Yee): Are you in love with the relationship? Like the actual person, or are you in love with the actual idea of a relationship?

0:32:43 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, the idea of being in a relationship versus the actual person in front of you.

0:32:47 - (Kevin Yee): Exactly.

0:32:48 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah. That was a really hard pill to swallow. When I woke up one morning, I was like, what the fuck am I doing?

0:32:55 - (Kevin Yee): Where the fuck were you?

0:32:58 - (Tawni Nguyen): Not in my body. I think that's like, a really interesting way. It's because, you know, how what we talked about, too, is it's kind of hard dating other people that are either an entrepreneur or not. Because of the schedule, the differences on how our days look like, it's not always the same because w two s is the nine to five. You come home, you do the same thing. You watch tv, you eat dinner, go to sleep.

0:33:24 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, but how has that becoming like a youtuber changed your dating life?

0:33:29 - (Kevin Yee): I'll tell you this. I don't think I've ever publicly talked about this before, but recently I've been just having thoughts because you're talking about the ups and downs of revenue and stuff like that. And especially when you suddenly decide, you know what? I'm no longer aligned to this business model anymore. I'm going to fire all my clients and just go down the pure YouTube route. Your revenue definitely does take a hit.

0:33:52 - (Kevin Yee): And I have these moments whenever I notice. I have these very self conscious moments. Maybe it's because our agent upbringing or anything like that, but I have these moments where I'm like, shit, would a girl even want me at this point? Because that's the traditional role of a masculine is to provide and stuff. And I'm like, what kind of woman would want someone like me? Where sometimes I'm like, fuck, am I going to sleep on skid row in la dog?

0:34:22 - (Kevin Yee): What the fuck? Sometimes I have those moments, right? And I know I'm smart enough to figure it out, but it's something that's always lingering in the back of my mind and something I feel self conscious about. But then when I meet another entrepreneurial female, which is, I don't want to say rare, but definitely not as common as an entrepreneur bro or clickfunnels, bro, it's just, like, a lot. I don't know, there's just a better, easier understanding. Right.

0:34:55 - (Kevin Yee): And sometimes I'm wondering, even with my last ex, she was very supportive. She was a w two. She was a nurse and all that. She would always be there for me, but I was like, does this bitch really love me? That's what I'm thinking of my head. This bitch really love me. And I don't doubt that she did, but for entrepreneurial female, I'm like, she kind of gets it. She understands exactly what I'm going through, and I don't feel judged.

0:35:25 - (Kevin Yee): But that judgment is not other people on me. This is my own interpretation of it. And those are some of the thoughts I've been really, really thinking and probably one of the reasons why I've just avoided dating a little bit too.

0:35:38 - (Tawni Nguyen): To figure yourself out. Yeah. I think as a man, too, you do attach your identity to your achievements, especially money, because that's the most tangible thing you can provide. And that is the most false and misleading way to show stability and security in a relationship. Is because I feel like a lot of other girls do look for security in a relationship through financial means. Right?

0:36:00 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah.

0:36:01 - (Tawni Nguyen): Is because automatically they're going to be like, oh, he makes six figures.

0:36:04 - (Kevin Yee): All right, cool.

0:36:05 - (Tawni Nguyen): Because we were talking about, like, we both make healthy six figures, and why are we not happy? Is because we weren't doing anything fulfilling. It's because we were miserable as shit. And what is all this money going to fix? Or what is it going to do? I mean, it pays for therapy bills, but it does.

0:36:19 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah. Therapy is really fucking expensive, by the way.

0:36:22 - (Tawni Nguyen): Therapy is very expensive.

0:36:24 - (Kevin Yee): But it's like, people don't realize, like, dude, when I was practicing pharmacy, other people wouldn't get it, but I felt like, I want to commit sepiku every single fucking day after work, dude. I hated it. And it was.

0:36:36 - (Tawni Nguyen): Sepiku was suicide.

0:36:37 - (Kevin Yee): It's like the fucking Japanese. You don't know the japanese disembowelment. Yeah. So back history lesson. Back during the samurai days, when they're about to be captured or about to lose a battle, they didn't want to honor their clan. They fucking take their sword, jab it in them, and disembowel themselves. That's how they go out fucking raw. Of course it's japanese.

0:37:05 - (Tawni Nguyen): So fucking look at all of our really nice, Zen, peaceful art. And then our fucking suicidal method, pretty much.

0:37:11 - (Kevin Yee): They would probably commit suicide in the Zen garden.

0:37:14 - (Tawni Nguyen): Oh, my God.

0:37:15 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah. On a serious note, there's just a lot of. I just felt so miserable. And people are like, I don't get it. Why are you so miserable? And it's just like, I think at the end of the day, I was always, like, a creator. I always wanted to do something liked. I was always a bit rebellious. Right. But I never got to express that side of me. But through YouTube, I get to do know.

0:37:42 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, I do understand that completely, because I'm trying to understand, coming from your shoes, because people are looking at you like, this is the asian epitome of what you should be. It's a pharmacist, doctor or lawyer. Right?

0:37:53 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah.

0:37:53 - (Tawni Nguyen): Engineer doesn't really count. I don't really know a lot of asian engineers.

0:37:57 - (Kevin Yee): You don't?

0:37:58 - (Tawni Nguyen): I don't.

0:37:58 - (Kevin Yee): Oh, there's a lot. Yeah.

0:37:59 - (Tawni Nguyen): Software engineer, I guess. Yeah.

0:38:01 - (Kevin Yee): Anyways.

0:38:02 - (Tawni Nguyen): And I think that always is kind of profound, like, when you hear someone else has suicidal thoughts as well. It's because the ideation is different than actually crafting it, because you're miserable in your w two, and people don't correlate the two things.

0:38:17 - (Kevin Yee): Right.

0:38:18 - (Tawni Nguyen): Because they're like, oh, he has a good job. He has money. Why should he be sad?

0:38:21 - (Kevin Yee): Exactly. But that's because they're so low on the hierarchy. Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

0:38:27 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah.

0:38:27 - (Kevin Yee): And what's really crazy, what was really chilling that same year where I went to the culty thing. The culty thing? Yeah. You know, I had a pharmacy supervisor. That was the position that everyone wanted because you didn't have to be, like, in the pharmacy. You just managed the pharmacies. That guy committed suicide, dude.

0:38:44 - (Tawni Nguyen): Oh, really?

0:38:45 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah, that guy committed suicide. And he was, like, at work, he was always super happy, super jolly and shit. I'm like, fuck. You really don't know what's going on behind the scenes.

0:38:56 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah. I think going back to Maslow's, I think most people that have good jobs, that make six figures plus or whatever, they don't understand that they're operating on the basic level of Maslow's. I don't think a lot of people are aware of the basic levels, which is the survival level. Right. They're stuck on autopilot. They only know how to make money to keep themselves sheltered. Right. Food, sex. And what are the basic ones like? Basic means I just remember shelter, food, and sex, the three things I care about, but they don't really understand that it's a little bit higher than that. Right. Like, you go up and it's safety. Like, what is safety to you?

0:39:34 - (Tawni Nguyen): A lot of it is financial security. That's safety. But safety is actually feeling safe where you live. Like having ownership of where you live, owning a house or whatever. But most people, they're like, oh, I'll rent, I'll work for the rest of my life. And then I think the third level. What is that? Belonging.

0:39:51 - (Kevin Yee): Belonging and love.

0:39:53 - (Tawni Nguyen): Community.

0:39:54 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah. I can't remember it. I just remember the top one.

0:39:57 - (Tawni Nguyen): Self actualization.

0:39:58 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah.

0:39:59 - (Tawni Nguyen): Do you feel that you've self actualized since you quit your job to become an entrepreneur?

0:40:03 - (Kevin Yee): I think I'm on the path of self actualization.

0:40:07 - (Tawni Nguyen): Self esteem is the fourth one.

0:40:08 - (Kevin Yee): Oh, it is?

0:40:09 - (Tawni Nguyen): I think it's the development of self and understanding yourself.

0:40:12 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah. I think sometimes, for me, I always tell people, sometimes you got to just suck a dick in life to just. Right.

0:40:22 - (Tawni Nguyen): How many dicks have you sucked?

0:40:24 - (Kevin Yee): Too many. I don't even think I've paid my only fans, guys. Anyways. I think a lot of times, too, with w two s, because in the w two job, everything's so linear. Like, you get this position, then move this position. But entrepreneurship, it's like ups and downs. Yeah. Can I do high ticket closing for the rest of my life? Sure. And make a lot of money? Yeah, I could, but I'm still trading time for money for that. There's, like, pros and cons, but I feel like there's something more for me out there, just intrinsically.

0:41:00 - (Kevin Yee): And I'm just like, okay, if I want to acquire this other skill set, I might have to, like, freaking. I can't perform at that standard all the time. Right. I might have to dip back down just to suck a dick and have to start over again. And there's nothing wrong with that. I think too many people sometimes, there's actually a strong belief of mine where so many people are so focused on the end outcome, but they neglect the importance of skill acquisition.

0:41:37 - (Kevin Yee): Right. So when I was in pharmacy, I learned how to be professional and all that. I learned some soft skills. Then I went into copywriting. I learned basic marketing and stuff. And then I learned how to sell and stuff. And on my YouTube channel, I was learning storytelling for the first few years. But now I'm learning how to treat YouTube as, like, a business right now and take all those skills and apply it to a business.

0:41:59 - (Kevin Yee): So of course I got to suck a dick. I can't be doing high ticket closing and running multiple businesses at once by myself. If I had a team, that's not a problem. I do have a team and stuff for certain clients. But, dude, you have to suck a dick sometimes. That's okay if you have to suck a dick.

0:42:17 - (Tawni Nguyen): You've been saying that a lot. It sounds like you want to suck a dick or something.

0:42:24 - (Kevin Yee): That's how you say fit and frugal, baby.

0:42:27 - (Tawni Nguyen): How you get your muscles.

0:42:30 - (Kevin Yee): That's how he burn extra calories. And make sure you're on your macros. Log in. My fitness pal after dick one.

0:42:39 - (Tawni Nguyen): Dick number two.

0:42:40 - (Kevin Yee): Yes, that's right.

0:42:41 - (Tawni Nguyen): No, I think that's the biggest part that people, I feel like they glamorize how fun, like, being your own boss is. But there are some days to where how we talked about a lot is like, your mental health is because you start reflecting on your contribution to the business and of yourself, but you kind of forget who you are in the process. And skill acquisition, to me, is just understanding the process. Right. Like, how many things it actually takes for you to do one thing. It's like 19 different skills for you to build one business, not just do a job and get paid.

0:43:14 - (Kevin Yee): I don't think I brought it up on our podcast, but my friend Vanessa Lau's coach, his name is George Bryant. I was chilling with him the other weekend at a hotel, and we're just catching up, and he brought up this quote, like, have you heard of jack of all trades? Is like, yeah. Yep. But do you know that's not the full quote.

0:43:39 - (Tawni Nguyen): What is it?

0:43:40 - (Kevin Yee): It's like, jack of all trades. I can't remember the first part, but the second part is, like, better than a master one. If you google that shit up, I'm like, that was the most fucking important part. Why did anybody tell us that? But it goes back to what you're saying, right? You have to learn so many different skills, especially when you start scaling out your business, learning how to manage people and all that sort of stuff, too.

0:44:08 - (Kevin Yee): There's so many skills required. And if you're leading people, you have to have a basic understanding of that operation of the business, too, if you're the founder or CEO, whatever you want to call yourself. Right? And it's like, I think sometimes we just glamorize a 22 year old Internet startup, bro. But there's a lot of skills that we need to. It's okay if it takes a long time, right? Skill acquisition is number one.

0:44:39 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah. I think even, like, where you're going with YouTube and how you're going to treat it as a business, because you are a boss of one, an employee of you.

0:44:52 - (Kevin Yee): I have like, a small team.

0:44:53 - (Tawni Nguyen): You have a small team.

0:44:54 - (Kevin Yee): But it's like, majority me, I'm like the main content director. We talk about this on my channel and stuff, and I have strategists come in, too. I'll listen to them. But ultimately it's up to me, right? Because I'm just like, that's fucking stupid as shit. We're not doing that, right. I have to lead the vision, and that's my responsibility. But, yeah, that's why I'm saying all those important things of being able to manage a pharmacy, being able to manage a sales dude. Sales teams are the fucking hardest to manage, by the way, because they're all, like, expressive personalities.

0:45:31 - (Tawni Nguyen): Because they're commission driven.

0:45:33 - (Kevin Yee): They're commission driven, but they're just unorganized. Remember how I was talking about that lack of professionalism next time, dude? For some reason, tech stacks and salespeople do not get along very well.

0:45:45 - (Tawni Nguyen): Oh, really?

0:45:46 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah, they don't take notes. They don't do any of this sort of stuff. Like, what the fuck? But they're really great salespeople sometimes, but they won't move their deals over to be like, hey, I actually closed this deal and pay me out on this commission. They don't even do that. Sometimes I'm like, what the fuck is happening with all these things? But my main point is all those previous experiences stack up to this moment where I can think about, I know how to storytell, I know the sales aspect of what really matters to people.

0:46:17 - (Kevin Yee): I know all these aspects for the YouTube. It makes it way more easier. Like that tactful communication that I was talking about too, right? Rather than just being like, what the fuck? This video isn't done. Being like, hey, I noticed this video wasn't done, dude, love an update. What's going on? Right? Do you need any support? Is there any way that I can help? Right? What can I do to make your job easier? I say that to my team all the time, right? Because I'm always thinking about, okay, are there any systems that we need to break out like that I need to bring in? How do I reduce the friction of the process of our overall team to make their lives easier?

0:46:56 - (Kevin Yee): Things like that?

0:46:57 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, because now that you're not doing inbound sales, how do you budget everything with your business and personal spending? Like, what importance you do? You stop going out you don't even drink, so your bar is zero.

0:47:07 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah, my alcohol budget is pretty zero, but I've always been pretty minimal. Honestly, even when I was, like, making six figures in the pharmacy, dude, I was fucking sleeping on the floor. Shit on a japanese futon. Yeah. My friends can belch for me. Right. I was always doing that. I keep everything very minimal, and I believe in that because you just don't know how shit's going to go down. And it's like, not to say I can't afford things, but it's just like, I like to be very mindful. Right. And just be like, okay, is this a real essential right now? Things like that.

0:47:40 - (Kevin Yee): But it's really fun. You know how people talk about real estate and acquiring assets and stuff? The way I look at the YouTube landscape is like, if I can do this really well, that's an asset. Not zero acquisition, but pretty damn close to zero. Sometimes if I do everything myself, it's pretty much zero. If I hire out people, acquisition costs maybe, like, 100, $200 for a small asset that is bringing in, like, $1,000 per month.

0:48:11 - (Kevin Yee): Not bad. Right? Now you're catching me at, like, this is my first month going full time into YouTube at the moment.

0:48:22 - (Tawni Nguyen): Good, I'm glad.

0:48:23 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah, it's, like, really crazy. Yeah.

0:48:25 - (Tawni Nguyen): So in a bit, we can do a follow up.

0:48:27 - (Kevin Yee): I'll be fucking homeless and be like.

0:48:29 - (Tawni Nguyen): I have an air mattress. I won't let you sleep on the floor, but I have an air mattress. I sleep with my dog.

0:48:36 - (Kevin Yee): That's perfect.

0:48:37 - (Tawni Nguyen): You might like you, she might not. I don't know.

0:48:40 - (Kevin Yee): That's perfect.

0:48:40 - (Tawni Nguyen): It's a risk that you're going to have to take entering our house.

0:48:42 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah, but that's the hard part that I was talking about. I had my dream clients come up to me recently and be like, hey, Kevin, I really want to work with you and stuff. You know how hard that. Hey, I'm actually pivoting the business, right? Not. I'm not doing it anymore. Right. Or sometimes I'll get really crafty and be like, I can assemble a team. Are you cool with that? Right? And they're like, oh, yeah, let's do it. And I'll bake myself into the deal. And somehow, some way, right?

0:49:12 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah.

0:49:13 - (Kevin Yee): But it still takes up my time, and I have to be very mindful of that because I'm in a creative space where things aren't black and white. It takes, like, mental power to be like, oh, make this entertaining or have a certain eye for it, but I can't be exhausted and doing that shit at the same time.

0:49:32 - (Tawni Nguyen): So what is your vision for your YouTube channel now?

0:49:35 - (Kevin Yee): So something that I feel very strongly about. I kind of alluded to it earlier, but it's like, I call it the BBC vision. Big, bold creators, bringing them together.

0:49:46 - (Tawni Nguyen): Okay.

0:49:47 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah. I believe strongly in that because so many of us creators, we feel alone. And a lot of the times, they're struggling with monetization, and that's where all the inbound sales, high ticket closing comes into play. Because a lot of these people, they don't have offers, right? If you have an offer, it makes your life so much easier. You can monetize other ways. Then you don't have to worry about stupid fucking brand deals, ruining your videos or anything like that.

0:50:15 - (Kevin Yee): You can actually create straight from the heart and you don't have to worry about, every video has to make money. It doesn't. Sometimes things are just for the brand, just to build a relationship with people, and that's something that's really important to me. So going forward, I put all my courses out there for free. I do these ultimate reviews of different products, affiliate links. My vision is really zero cost education and then charging only for the relationships, like through masterminds and stuff. Like, yeah, I think that BBC is.

0:50:50 - (Tawni Nguyen): Going to stick because it's sticky now.

0:50:52 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah, big bull creators.

0:50:54 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, yeah. Because I think there's a lack of that in the space, too, with monetization is everyone wants to be a creator. Everyone wants to be seen. Right. On social media. Do you feel that since you became a youtuber, you feel more seen and understood and heard with your audiences?

0:51:11 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah, I feel like that's the case. I don't know. There's something about it, right? Like getting comments on the back end and just being like, this video changed my life, or, I can't believe that you dropped this out for free. Thank you so much, Kevin. Is that thing. But also internally, I think about it for them, but then for me, it's just the right fucking thing to do in a world where especially my world of the clickfunnel bros. And the high ticket closing world with all these people promising the dream without you having to lift a single finger. Right.

0:51:50 - (Kevin Yee): That's like everybody's webinar, pretty much. We're not helping anyone with that. And they're kind of like putting the education on a pedestal. While education is important, we know it's not everything. That's why people join masterminds. That's why people hire coaches to leverage the experience. And nothing replaces the experience. At the end of the day, education is just the first step. And so that's why I decided to just pivot away from all that.

0:52:18 - (Kevin Yee): And this is where I started thinking, what if I were to build a business that was zero cost to consumers? What would that look like? And that's where I came up to like, okay, the education will be, like, zero cost to consumers, but I'm going to monetize the fuck out the ads on it. I'm going to do these ultimate reviews where I get paid recurring commissions for a lifetime of the deal. Right. I get to do all those things.

0:52:45 - (Kevin Yee): And then the mastermind, too, only charging people, there's, like, a strict limit. Strict. There's a strict limit. And there's a strict income cap and all that sort of stuff, too. So I get the right people in, right? If not, I have all my free stuff to help you.

0:53:05 - (Tawni Nguyen): I think that's where our friendship aligns, is people first, profit after.

0:53:09 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah.

0:53:09 - (Tawni Nguyen): Versus there's, like, books out there that's always profit first, which is probably makes sense in real estate, because you don't want to be losing money and burning money, especially if it's your own money or other people's money. So I'm just sitting here thinking about it. That is a cool concept of having a zero cost business.

0:53:24 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah. I'm in the business of relationships at the end of the day. There's one quote by George Bryant, that same guy who told me, the jack of all trades. The rest of the quote, he always says, relationships be algorithms. And I always try to remember that because I'm a personal brand, right? That's my business. And I'm just like, how do I create more relationships with people out there that really, really need it, who feel alone, who are struggling, who want to get paid, doing what they love?

0:53:53 - (Kevin Yee): I think that's something that is like, you talk to retired people, they're always like, fuck, fucking bored. Like, I hate my life. Right? I don't think any of us want to live that life. But being able to do something that you love, that means something to you, it's the best feeling in the world. I want to share that with other people and make it a reality for a lot of people.

0:54:12 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah. Having a true sense of fulfillment, that you're actually contributing to humanity, it goes beyond solving problems. It's just making people feel like they're worthy of something, too.

0:54:22 - (Kevin Yee): It's that self actualization part that we're talking about, kind of sense that that's.

0:54:28 - (Tawni Nguyen): Kind of the path that we're both headed towards skipping everything else and only focusing on things that, yeah, like, why aren't you dating? That's something that if girls heard that, well, depending on what kind of girls, if you're into abgs, I don't think they understand what self actualization they're going to be. Like, give me the Dior. Give me the fucking Gucci. Give me the red bottom.

0:54:48 - (Kevin Yee): Together.

0:54:49 - (Tawni Nguyen): Let's go to EDC.

0:54:51 - (Kevin Yee): People asked me to go to EDC. I was like, nah, fuck that. I'd rather die, dude.

0:54:56 - (Tawni Nguyen): Take me to Mastro's. Pay for $500 steak dinner.

0:55:00 - (Kevin Yee): Fuck that shit.

0:55:00 - (Tawni Nguyen): Show me you love me.

0:55:02 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah. It's crazy though. I'm telling you, that internal EQ riz is very real now that I'm 35. It's crazy. The women will just throw themselves at me in these days, right? It's really crazy because you tell them you're not dating.

0:55:23 - (Tawni Nguyen): Is that why? Is that like the opposite attracts kind of thing? It's like, hey, I'm not dating right now. So they want you even more.

0:55:28 - (Kevin Yee): Possibly. But they also see the side of emotional safety that most other men do not provide or they cannot understand. I mean, how many other men do you know that you can talk to that can talk about attachment styles? Who can talk about, like, if I want to be manipulative, horoscopes. No, just kidding. I can talk about horoscope. I can talk about human design. I can talk about all these different things, right? Tactful communication.

0:55:57 - (Kevin Yee): And it's like, most other people can't really talk about that sort of stuff. And I think they're just really attracted to it too. And I think also the ambition, that's the one thing that I've always had going in my life is just like dating life has gone to shit. Financial life. Up down, up down. Right.

0:56:16 - (Tawni Nguyen): The way it's going to be for a while.

0:56:18 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah. Up, down, up down. And then I'm always driven. I'm not going to give up. And I don't care what the fuck people tell me to do. I'm going to figure out a way every single time. And I have been these last five years since I quit pharmacy.

0:56:33 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, our friendship started on the basis of porn. Do you remember that conversation? I don't know how we're doing it right now. I don't know how that night we got to both quitting porn, right?

0:56:48 - (Kevin Yee): Oh, yes.

0:56:49 - (Tawni Nguyen): I don't know how we got to that. That was the first time we met. We were talking about some shit. And it's just like, oh, I quit porn too. Like, you want to be friends? How did we become friends?

0:56:57 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah, I was going super monk mode at the time and stuff like that, too. And, man, quitting porn is so freaking hard. It's like one of the hardest things ever.

0:57:07 - (Tawni Nguyen): Do you think you were addicted to porn?

0:57:09 - (Kevin Yee): I'm still addicted, honestly? Yeah, I'm still addicted. I think about it. I'm just like, oh, God, I can't function. It's lingering on my. Actually, as of today, I quit caffeine as of today.

0:57:22 - (Tawni Nguyen): Why?

0:57:24 - (Kevin Yee): I just noticed myself. It's like those dopamine hits, right? You notice those dopamine hits? Like, porn is one of them. Another one is like, social media. Social media. I was scrolling all the time recently. I'm just like, I'm avoiding something. I don't know what. Maybe it's this new transition that I'm going through. Maybe it's like this fear or anxiety or this loneliness I'm going through, but I'm coping some way, and I need to cut out the dopamine hits to figure out what's truly going on.

0:58:03 - (Kevin Yee): Right. And just sitting there, because you've asked.

0:58:06 - (Tawni Nguyen): Me why I went hiatus, like, on my hiatus on social media, when I just got on social media and I took, like a month and a half off, and I think that was the same thing. It's because I caught myself going back to an old pattern of just scrolling or whatever, and it's just like, now it's very limited. It's like, I'll look at some fun dog stuff, and it's just very limited because I feel like I don't have full control of myself yet, which is kind of weird because I think it is an addiction, too.

0:58:34 - (Kevin Yee): Social media addiction is pretty real. I've been finding myself going down the city boys, hoodville memes and stuff. That's all the fuck boy memes and stuff like that.

0:58:46 - (Tawni Nguyen): Is that what you guys were talking about? Like, you spent like, 20 minutes just looking at those pages?

0:58:50 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah, it was probably me. Yeah. But it's like, one of the things I saw today was like, oh, I heard you're looking for stud. I got the STD. All I need is you like that. It's like, what the fuck? But then I noticed myself just sending it to all my friends, but then I'm just like, dude, I'm spending awfully a lot of time on these Memes and shit. What's really going on? And I noticed myself with that.

0:59:18 - (Tawni Nguyen): I think that was the most powerful thing that you can say to yourself. Is like I'm avoiding something. What is really going on?

0:59:24 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah.

0:59:24 - (Tawni Nguyen): It's because most men, and I think women are unaware of themselves to that level because it's much easier to reach for something else. That's a distraction they don't realize is the distraction, right?

0:59:36 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah. I think that's why everybody loves things like EDC and loves doing the mollies and stuff like that just because it's a chance for them to escape. But they don't realize that's only a three day event. When you come back to real life, you have to face your. Your problems again. And it's like, man, facing those uncomfortable truths. It's not easy. It's definitely not easy. And it's just like, uncomfortable. And my friends are like, why the fuck would you put yourself through that?

1:00:13 - (Kevin Yee): It's because. And then in my mind, one of the most important relationships that you have is with yourself. Right. And whether you believe or not, your beliefs will always creep in if you don't believe that. This happened to my business partner, right. His money beliefs would always bleed into the business. He feels like he's not worthy of money. If he's not working hard or sacrificing, he doesn't deserve it. So what does he do?

1:00:43 - (Kevin Yee): Hey, this is really expensive. Don't worry, I'll discount. What the fuck? Let me do the sales, motherfucker. First of all, let me do the sales. First of all, shut the fuck up. But second of all, it's like he doesn't take the time to stop and notice in himself. So how could you do it for someone else? Hey, Tawny, I noticed that there's a bit of hesitation. What's on your mind? Right? I noticed you're concerned with the finances. What's on your mind?

1:01:10 - (Kevin Yee): Listen, first, right? And because he feels like he's not worth it, right, he'll always discount it because he ties his self worth to money all the time. But what he didn't realize was he's fucking over the whole team. We have a whole paid media team and all that sort of stuff. It's like, not only fucking over yourself, you're fucking over the whole entire team. And I think about that instance, I'm like, am I doing that to my YouTube team at all? Are there any beliefs that are lingering in my business that are really affecting our communication styles, our profitability, things like that too?

1:01:53 - (Kevin Yee): I think it's very important to be conscious of that. That's where I realized all the best entrepreneurs, they focus on personal development, self growth. They're all into meditation and all this other shit. Know, that's, like, for a good reason, because it helps us stop and really ask what's really going on. There's a great book by Keith Cunningham. It's called the Road less. Yes.

1:02:20 - (Tawni Nguyen): I was thinking that it's a white book with red letters on the side. Yes.

1:02:24 - (Kevin Yee): The concept is, if you're watching this and you have no idea what it is, basically, the concept is all smart people do dumb things. How do you reduce the dumb things that we do? Is through thinking time. That's a concept. I'm like, we need more of that. We need to be able to self regulate for a bit, not get so entrenched with our emotions, and just ask, what's the real problem? Or the deeper question that.

1:02:56 - (Kevin Yee): Questions that we're not thinking about. What don't I see?

1:03:00 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, I think you put a lot of things into context today, right. About how we live and especially how men live. Like, I really appreciate your perspective. There's a lot of things that are going on in men's head that I don't even be very aware of.

1:03:15 - (Kevin Yee): Probably not.

1:03:16 - (Tawni Nguyen): You know what I'm saying?

1:03:17 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah.

1:03:18 - (Tawni Nguyen): So as I'm sitting here, I'm trying to put myself inside those shoes on what people do on a regular basis and how they're just kind of, like, cruising on by and not really aware of all the things that are going on. And while you're sitting here, it's just like, what's really going on with me today?

1:03:34 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah, it's really interesting. That's why I feel like all these modalities of spending time in silence, spending time at jiu jitsu, spending time by yourself sometimes. Spending time with other friends sometimes, too. Yeah. Nature as well. I don't do that much nature, to be honest with you.

1:03:52 - (Tawni Nguyen): Should probably get some sunlight.

1:03:54 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah, I should probably get more sunlight. Honestly.

1:03:57 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah. That's the real d, not sucking dick. Okay.

1:03:59 - (Kevin Yee): Go outside and get the fucking, dude. I just get my testosterone, like, bowl of testosterone from jujitsu half the time.

1:04:11 - (Tawni Nguyen): You know, they say that a lot of those stems from lack of needs, from touch needs, but that's why they choose more violent things, is because, one, is less homophobic, but two, they get their touch needs met. It's because they're getting touched from other men, even though it is embracing and it is really powerful. That's another way of community. Right. Because you say it is a lonely world out there, too.

1:04:32 - (Tawni Nguyen): Yeah, it's kind of funny.

1:04:33 - (Kevin Yee): I think a lot of those things are really important, especially for men. And I don't know, I feel like more than ever, it's harder to be a man because masculinity is demonized. But more recently, I've been being in more touch with my masculine, and it's been really good on my dating life, too. So I don't know, it's attracting a lot of women, but I'm just like, no, got to stay monk mode right now. That's the priority.

1:05:00 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah. Wow.

1:05:02 - (Tawni Nguyen): I can't wait to hear your progress of your monk mode.

1:05:05 - (Kevin Yee): Was that more than 45 minutes? Way more than 45 minutes of your monk mode. How do you want to wrap this up?

1:05:14 - (Tawni Nguyen): Just whip it out.

1:05:15 - (Kevin Yee): Okay.

1:05:16 - (Tawni Nguyen): We got to make the money, dude. Come on. I just want to acknowledge you for showing up as who you truly are in your masculine right, embracing that feminine side that you have with all of your emotional abilities, too, because I find that that's something we need more into this world. So I'm glad you're able to bring that out and show others that it's okay to be vulnerable with one another as a man.

1:05:40 - (Tawni Nguyen): So I hope that your community grows even deeper, too. And I can't wait to hear, like, a few months from now how your business decision from. With your inbound sales going to Youtubing full time. And our friendship is probably going to change in the next few months, too. So I can't wait for that. Because if we're just going to keep evolving together, right.

1:05:58 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah.

1:05:59 - (Tawni Nguyen): No contracting, no going backwards.

1:06:00 - (Kevin Yee): That's true.

1:06:01 - (Tawni Nguyen): Evolve. We got to let each other go, man.

1:06:07 - (Kevin Yee): I don't want to hold the podcast up longer, but I was going to ask, how do you think our friendship is going to change over the next few months?

1:06:14 - (Tawni Nguyen): I feel like we can change some lives by showing how Asians friendship, especially men and women, are perceived. Right. Is because your podcast is friend zoned.

1:06:29 - (Kevin Yee): Wait, I got Friend zone. Podcast? Fuck this shit. Yeah, for context, my podcast is named the Friend Zone.

1:06:40 - (Tawni Nguyen): I think I got Friend zone.

1:06:41 - (Kevin Yee): Good.

1:06:42 - (Tawni Nguyen): High five. Yeah.

1:06:44 - (Kevin Yee): Fuck, guys. I failed. But as you're saying.

1:06:49 - (Tawni Nguyen): No, I think the evolution of our friendship is going to be, how do we help others and keep changing lives? By showing them that friendship, platonic friendships, can exist within the realms of, like, hey, can we do business together? How can we help each other grow? How do we keep impacting lives? And how do we keep showing up authentically as ourselves, as full emotional creatures, right. Just making our way through this world of entrepreneurship, because it is a very lonely road, and not a lot of people kind of understand what it takes to be, like, a friend or to date someone with this kind of mentality. Yeah, I'm excited, dude.

1:07:21 - (Kevin Yee): Dude, I appreciate it. Yeah. So bummed I got friend zone. No, seriously. On a serious note, I'm very thankful that you invited me onto your podcast and stuff and to just share my experiences with a new audience. Yeah. Yeah, of course.

1:07:38 - (Tawni Nguyen): So thanks for listening. What is it? What is it? We gotta take that. I already forgot what I was going to say, man.

1:07:46 - (Kevin Yee): Yeah.

1:07:47 - (Tawni Nguyen): Thanks for tuning into the Fit and Frugal podcast. I am your host, Tawni Nguyen. And then you can find Kevin on YouTube.

1:07:53 - (Kevin Yee): You can find all my link @refugeehustle.com slash links as my social media, my Instagram, YouTube, all that. And all my free shit, too. So, yeah, free shit. Here we go. Okay, bye.