"Uniforms to Entrepreneurship and Alter Egos With Summer Quillin"

Summer Quillen, my incredible friend and former law enforcement comrade, joins me in a heart-to-heart on the profound shift from maintaining peace on the streets to nurturing businesses and families. Our stories converge on the art of balancing multiple identities, the trials of motherhood, and the liberating leap into entrepreneurship, where we're now crafting our own narratives.

Journey with us through the raw, emotional landscape of working mothers in high-stress careers. A coworker's struggle to serve her community amidst civil unrest, while also tending to her newborn, casts a stark light on the systemic challenges women in law enforcement face. It's a candid look at the pressures and expectations, and how personal adversities, symbolized by something as visceral as a lion tattoo, can forge unyielding strength. The transition from uniform to autonomy, from structured order to the freedom of self-employment, reveals joy and fulfillment found in our new ventures outside the force.

The conversation takes a spirited turn as we explore the nimble world of a mobile notary, a role that seamlessly blends with the demands of motherhood. Engaging insights from the owner of Five Star Notary LLC highlight the vibrant tapestry of lives touched by this crucial service. We tackle the nitty-gritty of certifications, the dichotomy of juggling professional and family life, and the inspiring tales of women who navigate this landscape with grace. What emerges is an episode rich with personal transformation, a testament to the resilience of those who serve, and an ode to the enduring spirit of motherhood and entrepreneurship.

Follow Summer on Social Media!

Five Star Notary L.L.C. (@fivestarnotaryllc) • Instagram photos and videos

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www.fivestarnotaryllc.com 

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Meg

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hey guys, welcome back to updated a collective, the podcast. I am your house, megan worth. Today's episode is definitely my top three, one of my absolute favorite episodes, and it's not just because today's special guest is One of my really good friends and also a girl that I served with on the police department, but I, I just I love the conversation. It's crazy how this whole topic came to be, because it was actually a topic I was thinking about recording and Earlier or later that day I'm sorry, later that day she called me and kind of brought it up and I was like wait a minute. Like I was just thinking about recording a podcast episode on that topic. Do you want to do this with me? And she was like hell yeah. And so Summer Quillen like is our special guest. She is amazing. She is a mama three, she is a military spouse, she's a former law enforcement officer with me and I've known her for a very long time. She is just a genuinely Good person. Like she was an amazing police officer. She was amazing detective, like all the things. She was one of those girls that just she you could tell she was just born for law enforcement. She's a natural, just caregiver and one of the sweetest girls I've ever met in my entire life and there's no wonder why, now that she's out of law enforcement and living on the East Coast, she's just thriving in her business. That I'm pretty sure. When she, she just probably never thought she would ever End up having a. But you know, being In her own little business. I mean because when you're in law enforcement, I'm just assuming maybe we all just thought we were going to retire as police officers, but we do talk about, you know a little bit of why we left the profession. We unpack that. I'll leave it at that. I'll let you guys listen to that. 2020 was a year I think that a lot of people woke up. 2020 was a shit show and a lot of police officers ended up leaving the profession. It wasn't just us for many different reasons, but I'm not going to get into that. I think, like I said, I think a lot of people woke up in 2020 law enforcement, civilians, the communities, just everybody.

Speaker 1: 2:19

We talk about having an alter ego is what the topic is in this episode. So, having an alter ego and what it did for us as law enforcement officers and now as entrepreneurs the same woman, the same person me or her said me or her that was in uniform, working patrol or you know, kicking indoors or whatever the case is like. That was a completely different person. Then, the other side of us, where we were at home, she was a wife and a mom and you know, I'm taking care of my daughter and we're just, we're completely different people. You have to have that divide in order to survive in your career. You have to have that separation, and the same thing in real estate. I've noticed like it's, it's just, it's different. You know my it's not different in where our personalities change or anything like that. We still have that Personality, the caring side of us and everything that that goes both ways. But like when we're at work, it is a different mindset, especially in Law or not law enforcement, but like being an entrepreneur, being in real estate or whatever you decide to do. It's a completely different personality, but with the same values, and we talk about that here in this episode with summer. Here it is, guys, sit back and enjoy it, and I will talk to you guys next Friday, enjoy.

Speaker 1: 4:00

Welcome to the updated AF collective podcast where we celebrate the power and resilience of women. Join me as we dive into inspiring stories, engage in meaningful conversations and explore topics that empower women from all walks of life. I believe that every woman has a unique strength within her waiting to be unleashed. Whether you're an entrepreneur, a leader, a creative, a caregiver or simply on your own personal journey, this podcast is for you. Together, we'll share stories of triumph, discuss strategies for success and provide a supportive space for women to connect and grow. Get ready for real, authentic conversations that ignite your inner strength and inspire you to chase after your dreams fearlessly. Welcome to the updated AF collective. Hey guys, welcome back to the show.

Speaker 1: 4:52

Today I have a really special guest. She's one of my friends. I've known her for like five years and I had to ask her to be on the podcast because she brought up a really good topic that I was already thinking about in the back of my mind when she brought it up. So this episode is going to be on having an alter ego in your career, your profession, whether an entrepreneur or a nine to five job, I feel like having an alter ego is really, really important. Not to be confused with imposter syndrome, but having an alter ego can actually make you really successful In anything you do.

Speaker 1: 5:24

So, everybody, this is Summer Quellen, and she's one of my good friends. We were in law enforcement together and I just want I had to have her on the podcast. Like I said, she brought up a topic that I already had in the back of my mind, so I knew I had to have her on there. Welcome to updated AF, summer, thank you. Thank you for having me. Yeah, okay, so tell me about yourself. I want to hear about your family life, everything. What kind of, what kind of person are you right now? Because you're no longer in law enforcement and I'm no longer in law enforcement, so let's tell everybody who you are.

Speaker 2: 5:58

So originally I was born and raised in Texas, figured I would live my entire life there but married young married to somebody that was in the military. So we moved up to San Diego. I moved to San Diego and I was 19 years old and I was there for 14 years. While I was there, I got into law enforcement in 2014. Did my Academy, did the police work. I made it to detective. I had a great career. I ended up having kids as soon as I made detective. That way, I had like the perfect family life. I wasn't working the weekends, graves, no shift work, hardly at this point.

Speaker 2: 6:36

And yeah, and things changed whenever my husband has four years left on his military contract and the military said, hey, you're going to move to Virginia our first move we've ever done. And yeah, we had three kids in tow by this point Our youngest was only three months and moved across the country to Virginia. Virginia is Commonwealth, so nothing that nothing law enforcement related transferred over here, so pretty much just lost everything. But at this time it was. I was more than happy. I had my three kids, I had my family together. My husband had been on ship life for a long time by this point. So the deployments. It just got old, you know, he was gone every six or 24 hours, regardless of what day it was. It could be birthday, holidays, it didn't matter. So when I knew we were getting Virginia, we got shore duty, which meant he's home all the time. He never has duty. He teleworks a lot. If anything comes up and he needs to be here, he can that that morning call and say, hey, I'm going to be at home, I'm going to work from home and the commands okay with it. So, yeah, I left everything behind and moved out here to her in October.

Speaker 2: 7:40

And then, by this point, I am a mom like I. I've got to do what it takes to make me to make what they call like meant me ends, ends meet. So, yeah, I just did what I had to do for being a mom and I got into an entrepreneurship and started a business out here as a traveling notary. So do mobile notary, traveling. And then I special as in loan signings. Now, and this works perfect with my schedule and my husband's schedule. My kids don't have to be in daycare. I can work around the schedules whenever signings come in. I can schedule the around Nate schedule. So nap time, bed time I'm, it's yeah, so this is what I've gotten into now.

Speaker 1: 8:26

It's like the perfect career for you know, like for somebody like you in your position. You're, you know, not only a military spouse, but you're also a mom of three kids. And if anything, like I said, I do believe everything happens for a reason and I think that there was a reason why you had your three kids in San Diego and then move to the East Coast and got to be a stay at home mom and then you started this whole new career. Do you ever, do you ever, miss law enforcement?

Speaker 2: 8:56

I don't really miss the law enforcement aspect of being on the streets and just Just kind of like the way we were treated, but I definitely miss investigations. Like I'm a female at heart and I love my Chrome shows, my podcast, my Chrome junkies, Like I'm all over investigations, Even now, like you know, there was a car that broke down in our cul-de-sac the other day and it was like 8.30. Came to the door he said I've been out here since 4.30. And I'm like for one. Why is he in our cul-de-sac? What's he doing at 4.30? Why has his truck stopped? Like his battery died because the engine was off. What was he doing? Like trying to figure this out, and I was like just calm down, Like he's probably working somewhere here.

Speaker 1: 9:34

Not everybody's out to commit crime, but in summer's mind, everybody is suspicious. You need the facts. Why are you there? Don't trust me. Oh my gosh, like I am programmed the same way, I don't trust anybody. It's hard for me to trust strangers because I was like I'm just convinced, like everybody has alternative motives. I don't know, but we've been in law enforcement for so long that it's hard to unbrainwash yourself. It really is.

Speaker 2: 10:03

Yeah, and you know what Like and, of course, being a mom and being a female, like we've got our guards up and we make sure that we're safe and we have our ring camera set up and anytime it goes off, you know it could be a cat. I'm like looking like both ways of the camera, like what is out here. Who's coming to the door?

Speaker 1: 10:19

Exactly. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. So you just missed the detective part of everything, like obviously. So what broke me was being out on the street, so I had had enough. Maybe I would have done better as a detective too. But I think after because I almost hit my 10 year mark and it's just maybe I stayed out too long, maybe I stayed on the streets too long because, I don't know, I felt like that's what drained me.

Speaker 1: 10:47

And one time, when I did break my hand, I got to go to be like an acting detective, for I think it was like two months. I got a little bit of a taste of it and I begged the sergeant at neighborhood policing where we were at. I begged the sergeant to let me stay there, even after my hand was fixed. Because after I got a taste of it I was like I could get used to this, because it's it turns into like a nine to five job with weekends off. So we were getting what Friday, saturday and Sunday off if you were in the detective world. So you, yeah, like that was. That was the life, no rainy days.

Speaker 2: 11:21

I went on Monday and then you got the Fridays on Monday.

Speaker 1: 11:24

It was so good. Maybe that's where I went wrong. Maybe I would have liked my job more, but working the streets just brought to me and just I had. That's where I felt like I started contemplating a new life, because it's just, it's working patrol and then being a mom whether you're a single mom or happily married mom, it doesn't matter being a mom and being a lawn horse is freaking hard. It is really freaking hard.

Speaker 2: 11:49

So yeah, First the streets either. You know it was 20, 20,. It was COVID, it was a shutdown of everything. It was everything that came after all the. That's what really did me, and that's when, when I was OK, saying good about a law enforcement, we didn't have the support we needed, and so, again, that's why I came out here, and you hate to compare things. So it was there, but I'm happy where I'm at. I get a hundred percent support. I'm free to do what I want and what I wish. Being an entrepreneur, you know, I take this stuff that I need to, and if it doesn't please me, I don't take it.

Speaker 1: 12:21

Yeah, exactly, I'm the same exact way, and that's what we get to do as entrepreneurs is we get to say yes and no to the things we want to do or things we don't want to do, and, yeah, that's, that's. I'm not. I can't ever go back to a regular job ever, like I like making my own schedule and everything OK. So let's talk about the one thing I really wanted to talk about, and I want to know how many other people can relate to this.

Speaker 1: 12:47

But do you think having like a separate personality, like an alter ego, helps you become an entrepreneur? Because I know, in law enforcement and even in the military, when I was in the Marine Corps, there's, there's a whole separate personality that you have to have. You have to have that like. There's the, you know the regular, there's the true us like the soft females, that like our girlie, like shoes and stuff like that, versus somebody who's in uniform or whatever and has to have like a completely different personality. Do you think that helped you? Well, one, did it help you in law enforcement? And then two second question do you think do you have that now? Do you have a completely separate personality for your business now?

Speaker 2: 13:31

Yeah, it definitely helped me in law enforcement. There's no way that I could have went into some of the situations that I did go into being who I am at home, even when it comes to the streets or incidents that I got into at home or at work. It was like when I took my shoes off, my uniform off, all that stayed at work. I came home and I got to be bossed around by my two year old and it was, and I made sure that I never took the attitude that I did with work, with home, and I mean, yeah, some of the attitude from home went to work because you have to be compassionate and you have to be understanding. But as far as, like, talking to the way you know, sometimes you have to talk to the streets. I can't do that with my kids and yeah, it's a very, it's a fun line to walk, to take that uniform off, to get in your car, like I was. I was blessed enough to have an hour drive home, so I had that time to just decompress and just turn it off and you know it doesn't always turn off, but as best you can. So, yeah, it helped me there and then, of course, my business now, because yet not that you have to fake who you are, but you definitely need to meet the people you got to meet.

Speaker 2: 14:37

You have to get out there and network and that's that's how it and that's how it is with your job. You're networking all day long and I wouldn't really call myself an introvert or an extrovert, but sometimes at the end of the day, when I'm going you know a meeting at nine, I have a Chamber of Commerce at 1130, followed by signing at two Like I get home and I'm drained, but when I'm on I'm on. Like like those people at the at the meetings they could never tell just like, oh, like I, just I just want to be home sometimes in the day. But yeah, that that personality has to really kick on and you have to show like, why do you believe you're the best person for the job? And you have to let everybody know that you are the best person for that job. Or if you're not going to believe in yourself, no one's going to believe in you either.

Speaker 1: 15:18

Exactly, yeah I. So how I came up with my alter ego and this. This started back when I was working. I got to work some details with Vice and this is where Vanessa came into play and so, like, I still utilize Vanessa to this day. So when I got to work, I got to do some undercover stuff with with narcotics and vice. Have you ever got to do those? Like drug the drug buys have you ever done that? Yes, yeah, yeah, okay.

Speaker 1: 15:48

So my girl, like when I would go undercover. So I was working in the nightclubs in the gas lamp, and then sometimes they would put me over an ocean beach to buy drugs and I called myself Vanessa. So Vanessa is my alter ego and so, like, I still joke that I utilize her for, like, when I have to like be brave or, you know, just like be bold, put myself out there, have no fear, because that's that alter ego did. I've never done drugs in my entire life and but I can buy this out of them. So, because I have that alter ego, vanessa was fearless and Vanessa did whatever the hell she wanted to do. She was the party girl, she had fun. So I literally still call her Vanessa because that's the name that was given to me and I was working undercover.

Speaker 1: 16:38

So Vanessa is the girl that, she's like the networker. And then I'm like, like you said, like when I'm home I'm a completely different person. The same person that is here with my daughter at home, like tucking her in, is not the same person that is out doing networking events and going to parties and doing all that stuff with like for my business, for real estate and especially on patrol. It's crazy because, like what a uniform can do to you, it's like a separate energy. So, like the things that like me as a mom, if I was ever with my, with my daughter or whatever we were at Target and shit was going down, I'm not getting involved at all, I'm staying back, I'm going to be a really good witness and then I'm going to call up but like, but for some reason, when you are in uniform, you're a completely different person.

Speaker 1: 17:28

There was not a single thing that I wouldn't involve myself in If I had to go to a call. It's almost like I was numb to being afraid of. You know, like any, any situation. I mean, we've seen some pretty crazy shit and whether it was like a shooting or somebody passed or whatever it is when we had to give CPR to people, like we're in it and we don't even think about it. We just do it without even thinking. That's that's having an alter ego, that's having a completely separate personality. So did it? So yeah, like, how did it help you in law enforcement, girl Cause, like I can't be the only one that like did you? I mean, I kept the name in us of it Do you? Do you like recognize this other side of you and like think of her as like a separate person too? Or am I insane?

Speaker 2: 18:15

Yes, some days, especially now. So in law enforcement it's not saying like, just because of the alter ego, it was always like a meaner, aggressive person. Because sometimes you get on the call with, like you know, families that they're, that their relatives were like OD, and you want to be that compassionate person and you want to be that mom figure. You know that you, that you're self-spoken and you're understanding, and so a hundred percent. Like sometimes, like I said, my home life might come out in my work a little bit. But now, like doing this entrepreneurship, yeah, like they're two totally separate people.

Speaker 2: 18:43

When I'm going to these networkings Cause that's the other thing. Like sometimes, like that imposter syndrome still does kick in when you're at home and you're like, what am I doing? Like, just get, give me back to a nine to five job. So I have to become like just have somebody tell me what to do and how to do it. And then the minute I get dressed and I'm like, no, like this is my life now, like this is how I'm improving myself, like I'm going to leave a legacy for my kids, like my kids never knew me as a police person, like they never saw me in a uniform, and I can tell you maybe now my oldest son he just turned four today he might have seen me on three police photos and so he kind of I think he understands that I was a police officer, but my other kids don't know that life.

Speaker 2: 19:22

And so, yeah, when I put on my work clothes now and I'm going out to do these signings or these events and stuff, I'm like no, like I'm the best person for this job and my kids are gonna see that, they're gonna know that. You know, like before kids, I was one person and I had that identity and that was fun. Like me and my husband were married 10 years before we had kids, so we were able to get those fun times in and those trips and everything that you know like it's family life. Right now we have a gap and we're gonna enjoy those parenting moments and every night I know, no, no matter what signing I do or networking event, like chances of me coming home are much more higher now than they were before. And so I'm living for my kids right now. And I'm not saying like I'm not on the back burner per se, like I still get to get my workouts in and I still go to my events, but it's just the calmer, more relaxed lifestyle being on entrepreneurs.

Speaker 1: 20:10

Absolutely, girl. I love that you said that too, cause like we have better chances of coming home every single night, and that was one thing that really bothered me is like being on the honor guard I was seeing. Obviously I was going to a lot of funerals. I would average like 10 to 17 funerals a year and I always remember, even before I had my daughter, I had always like you can't unsee the folded up flag being handed to like the child or the widow or whatever. And it's like it's crazy, cause I remember always saying like my, if I had kids one day, you know my daughter will never be handed a freaking flag.

Speaker 1: 20:52

And so when I did have Olivia again, like I was still going to funerals and stuff and I just it just hits, hits different, and I always thought like I'm not, I can't stay in this profession anymore, because that could that, you know, that could be us. You know like there's police are getting into shootings, what, every hour in this country, I don't know. So it's something crazy like that. We lose a lot of police officers a couple of hundred every year and I wasn't going to be one of those. I was like I'm going to leave my child and you just like you, like I feel like now we're in, we did our time. You know what we did. We had to do, we had our fun, we we got to say that we did that. We had that experience and I think a lot of those skills, especially how to talk to people, transfer into becoming an entrepreneur. I think if you had any civil service job or you know, first responder profession, it's going to make you a really good entrepreneur, yeah.

Speaker 2: 21:47

And it makes for really good stories because people always want to know what kind of work we did and what we saw. And you know you can talk about the good stuff now, like that's my life and I like that, you know. And even like as far as like my business page, like I really don't tell a lot of people what I did in the past. Every now and then if I get somebody that like okay, like I could see myself like having coffee with them in the coming weeks, right, I'll tell them like oh, I was in law enforcement prior. That's about as far as I go.

Speaker 1: 22:14

But you should, because and here's the thing that I've found recently, actually, since I've been doing real estate now for a year and a half and what I found is people love a story because there's a lot of us, whether it's in the notary business, whether it's in the loan officer business, real estate business, there's so much of us, there's so many of us.

Speaker 1: 22:35

And so what I've learned is people love a story and people want to connect with you. And I honestly do believe that if you told people more or you advertised yourself as, like you know, former law enforcement, and then add the military spouse as well on there because, again, like people want to know who you are and they want to know your story, it builds trust, it builds rapport, and then it also, yeah, like it's, it brings up the conversation. I tell clients all the time, but like it just gets brought up and I tell people like, yeah, I was in the Marine Corps and then I was in law enforcement and then here I am, and then, for some reason, clients like me more. It's cause they cause there's a story.

Speaker 2: 23:18

You know what I think kind of part of that is is for me, being in San Diego and California, we weren't really, like I said, the support we lack support among a lot of friends and family, you know, and I come out here and I'm seeing the difference in Virginia and every single person I've come in contact with they carry and I was like, do you get your CCW? Yet? I'm like no, everybody.

Speaker 1: 23:40

Same here in Texas. I don't even have a CCW and I was like I don't like guns and I was just like yeah, which I mean I don't care regardless. I probably should get a CCW, but it's same here in Texas and they were like wait, so you're a cop for almost 10 years and you don't even carry it. I'm like I know I don't, but yeah, yeah, yes, same thing.

Speaker 2: 24:01

I'm like no, I just I don't know, I just never felt the need. And you know, like my kid, same thing. My kids are getting older. Like I don't want them fidgeting with stuff until we're old enough to like explain gun safety and let them like handle the weapon and stuff. Like I don't want my kids around that and I just feel safe out here for some reason. So, but maybe that would be relatable now that everybody like carries and yeah, yeah, I think so too.

Speaker 1: 24:25

I mean it just shows like a whole nother side of you and, like I said, like people connect with their clients and their clients can connect with you if they, if they have like a reason why they really like you. So I mean, besides your bubbly personality, you're one of the happiest girls I've ever met, especially at work. You actually I write about you in my book and yeah, so we could talk about that offline, but there is a chapter and I changed your name and everything too. So I guess it's a really good way to tell you that you are in my book only because you were obviously somebody.

Speaker 1: 25:01

I we didn't know each other too too well, because we met at neighborhood policing and as soon as I got to neighborhood policing, I was working on the streets and I think you I think you were doing some acting detective work or something. There was there. There was a time where we weren't working directly with each other, and then the riots, it, and in 2020. And then we all got deployed out to the line and you were brought to meeting and I wrote about this in my book because it was one of those things that really stood out in my mind, because that was the time where I was thinking like I need out of this career, I'm done. I you know we weren't seeing our kids, you weren't. You were literally breastfeeding. But you were also deployed out onto the line for the riots too.

Speaker 1: 25:45

And I remember again, we only, we only really talked in passing or in the locker room. But I remember walking into the bathroom we were on a break or whatever in HQ and you were literally in the bathroom on a sitting on a toilet pumping milk. And that's when I remembered and I asked you, I looked at you and I was like are they going to give you anywhere else to do this? Because that's terrible. No mom should be pumping milk on a toilet, because they don't give you a space, they don't give you a room. Do you remember that?

Speaker 2: 26:19

Yes, it actually like brings a tear to my heart right now even thinking about it, because, yeah, that's how, that's how I was treated. And so I had this big old lion tattoo on my arm. People were like what does that signify? And that's what it is Like, that time during their protests, like my baby was three months old and I remember, like I was in the middle postpartum. It was hard. We were in those like the big riot gear and I did not get a break and I just I had some people in my life then that they, you know, it was like all about the promoting at this point, because I was doing acting, but I wanted to go full time and they kept throwing in my face like if you're not here, they're going to know your name and you're not going to get promoted.

Speaker 2: 26:57

Yeah, and I remember, as my husband was deployed at the time, I had no child care because of COVID, like during the day I did. But this is when they were changing our schedule, like oh, you're going to come in at two and you're leaving at midnight and you're coming at this time and you're leaving at this time, and I remember I was like scraping to find neighbors or any kind of friends that could watch my kid at this time and you know, like I said, he was only three or four months old. That was the first time I missed putting him down for his bedtime routine and I was like distraught and I remember breaking down like we were all in the huddle, we were saying our prayers or the chaplain was there and as soon as it broke I just lost it. I had my sunglasses on. I remember that.

Speaker 1: 27:31

I'm getting emotional thinking about it. I remember that I turned around. I was like I'm not treated well at all.

Speaker 2: 27:36

And another coworker was like you gotta clear it up, clear it up, you gotta suck it up. And you know this person said it in the most like supportive way, but it was kind of like don't let people on the line know that you're weak, don't let them see this happening right now, because you need to be the solid person. And throughout that entire, you know, I feel it went on for like three weeks straight of us like switching our schedules and like that whole time, yeah, I was pumping. And the other thing is one of the days it was it was like the worst day there that we were getting like pepperball that and like all that was getting thrown and we were on the line for seven hours and I had no really at all to go pump. And the minute our line broke, I was like I've got to go pump, I've got to go take care of this. Like I was already, like milk was running down, I was like scared, I was going to get like the fevers.

Speaker 2: 28:21

And I had a male superior we won't say what he was, but and he was like you can't break right now. I'm like, no, I have to break, I have to. He was like no, you're not safe, we can't break you right now. We'll you know we might need to be back on the line again and thankfully, at this time they were like okay, back to vehicles, we're going to go rotate to another location. So I remember getting in the vehicle I was surrounded by men. We were in a truck that was just all men and I had to start all my stuff off and like pump right there in the vehicle with all them. It was like no privacy, no respect, like it was just. I mean at the time that people that I was surrounded. Clearly I was comfortable, they were like brothers by this point, but still I shouldn't have been in that situation.

Speaker 2: 29:00

So, yeah again when I talk about support and what I was missing it was that like, yeah, I pumped on the bathroom floors, I pumped in the vehicles, I pumped in the vans, Like there wasn't probably a person on that line that hadn't seen what I have.

Speaker 1: 29:14

But, like you said it, luckily the guys that we did work with neighborhood policing for people who don't know, in San Diego neighborhood policing is just a smaller division but we were brothers and sisters, but still at the same time. That's why I put you in the book, because you stood out the most of me out of anybody, and I had to, because no woman should be able, nobody should be treated that way. Then it took, I know. Eventually they gave you like an office, somebody's office, and even the higher ups were walking in on you while pumped in because I asked you, I said, hey, girl, did they give you a room? And you're like, yeah, they gave me a room, but some lieutenant walked in on you and they're like, walked back out but like you were treated like nobody fucking cared. And that pisses me off because of how you were treated. And I mean don't get me wrong, we were all treated bad. But I feel like the moms, like you said, like you have this infant. You should have never been out there.

Speaker 2: 30:13

You really shouldn't have been. I found out, like two years later the reason I finally got a room was because I'd talked to this girl from another department and I was telling her, like, the issues I was having. She went to my chain of command and ended up telling a lieutenant who I worked for later in a few years later, and so that lieutenant was like no, I'm the one that heard your news and I like got you the room and I was like God, like not even like my own straight up chain was there to help me.

Speaker 1: 30:42

Yeah, that was a completely different time, during the protests and stuff like that. That's what I knew, because I hadn't seen my daughter. I had to fly family and to stay with her because my nanny fees were like skyrocketing. I hadn't seen my daughter in three weeks and then we were on call. So like we got called out a couple of times and like I knew I was like I can't do this anymore. I can't do it and I didn't know what I was going to do. But I knew that I was going to do something and I was going to completely get out of law enforcement.

Speaker 1: 31:10

I hated the way some of the women that we were with were treated. You were, like I said, like your story stood out. It's definitely in my book. I have to tell it because it's just. It just shows like how women in law enforcement are treated. It's not fair. You weren't.

Speaker 1: 31:28

You're not a guy and I guarantee it was a guy right the one that was saying like no, you can't break, you need to be in here. You need to put on a game face, absolutely not One. You're still very hormonal from just having a baby. You're probably dealing with like postpartum issues and anxiety and stuff like that. You should have never been out there because your brain and your subconscious was not ready to deal with what we had to deal with out there. You know it was just a shit show During the day. The protesters were friendly and nice and everybody was doing their thing, they were expressing themselves and everything for the craziness that can happen in law enforcement that year. But you should have been pulled back out in the evening times when shit hit the fan, when the protesters were starting to get crazy. The nighttime protesters was a whole different ball game.

Speaker 2: 32:16

That's when the alter ego kicks in and you're like, nope, like I am a mom. But you know, in this life I have to be on the line first. I'm a police officer who protect my city. First. Like yeah, that was a lot, like I don't think I could have got through it without my alter ego. At that point I'd have been like a crybaby crying in the corner.

Speaker 1: 32:35

Same same. I was stressed out. All I wanted to do was hold my daughter. That was it. That was the only thing I could think of. And my first, the first night out there, I worked a 22 hour shift because I came in early. I don't know. I think I was like adjusting, so like that, the first day of the protest I came in early and then I got extended all the way to like the middle of the night, because that's when the protesters came out there and then shit was hitting the fan. The first night, which you are the first night, was the worst and I worked 22 hours that day and I just went home and I just held my daughter because, geez, I remember, I just remember the stress and like I said, like, yeah, you put on a game, face you your story I told. I told it to other women. I'm also sorry about that, but I told it to other women when they wanted to talk about the protests and the riots and stuff like that too. They're all entrepreneurs. And when I do talk about my time in law enforcement, it just goes to show why we left and we weren't treated well. Stuff has to change. Things need to change.

Speaker 1: 33:35

If you were in the military and you were breastfeeding and stuff like that, I do believe that you would have been treated a lot different. I think you would have been taken out, because even in the Marine Corps as much as the Marine Corps, I feel like it's like 50 years behind when it comes to treating females in the military. If you are, if your head is not in the game, you are a liability. So if anything you weren't in the game, you couldn't. You have a newborn who you're trying to make sure that your baby was taken care of, and you're also freaking lactating. You have to breastfeed. Your head is not in the game.

Speaker 1: 34:09

If something would have happened to you, it's because, like, your head's not there, your mind is somewhere else and I hate the way they treated you for that. So sorry for telling your story, but I honestly feel like that's a really good example of just like two separate personalities, two separate you know, an alter ego and then your actual self. So yeah, yeah, it was oh girl. So tell me about your business now, like, tell us what you do, stuff like that. Yeah, so, because obviously we are much happier people, we get to live our own life now, so talk about that.

Speaker 2: 34:49

I'm a traveling notary right now so I do like general notary work if people need you know, like like loan mods or anything done, like their kids go on a field trip and they need their permission slip, notarize all the way to special as in loans onnings. So I went through different certifications to get our different programs to get those certifications. But so a lot of times I'm with signing services. I'm signed up with those signing services so they kind of come through like Uber, like an order comes and it was like if you can take it, hit, accept. If you don't want it, say no if you want to, just if you want to like a higher income for it, a higher cost, a higher price, then you can put that and you can counter offer with them. Do that as getting started. But also all this networking I'm doing, all these women groups I'm part of, it's all to try to get direct business at the end of the day, because direct also it pays much higher and you have that connection with that one person, that one title officer or loan officer, whoever it may be. You have that one on one connection with them Versus the signing services. A lot of times like it's just me and that son are there. They'll send me 150 pages that I have to print off.

Speaker 2: 35:59

I prep, I kind of read through as a notary, like we can't tell them exactly what to do because we don't have those license here in Virginia, but we can read, we can read the paperwork, we can read the title and we can read, you know, a couple of the bold prints in there and say is this, is this your Understanding? Is this what you accepted? If anything's different, we can call your title, we can call your lender, we can call your CPA. If you want like don't, if you're not comfortable with it, don't sign it. But that's what I do right now and I go all the way from like Richmond, which is about two and a half hours from us, all the way down to Franklin, which is another two and a half hours south.

Speaker 2: 36:34

So I really enjoy, you know, like I said, that's my, that's my time to kind of decompress and have my alone time, because it's hard, coming from when you've had a career this whole time being gone. You know you're 10 hours a day Um to like being here all the time with kids and love my kids. But it did take me a while to like get adjusted. Like what do I do with these kids? Like they just sit here watching.

Speaker 1: 36:58

Like yeah, whole another world. Yeah, being a stay-in-home mom and having a career, that's a. That's a whole different summer. That is a new girl.

Speaker 2: 37:07

Yeah, so we try to set up schedules Like I know, like between 7, 30, 9, 30. We're gonna have breakfast from 10 30 to 11 30. We're gonna do some type of like crafts hands-on. After that we're gonna do sensory toys. We're gonna do building blocks. We're like normally I don't let them watch if anything's on TV, it's some kind of like Magnets like sticking, like sticking stuff together or a learning thing or just something that they're not gonna watch, but it's on for like background noise, exactly, yeah. And then I get a signing and it's like you know, it's normally here by the time that I have any kind of signings. Or I do them on the day sees off or weekends, and I really enjoy that time too, because you know we talk with the clients and we we get to know what they do for a living and how they got into their job, and everybody wants to know how I got into my job, and so I get that whole spill like okay, here I am.

Speaker 1: 37:56

That's what I'm saying. I think like and do you have a website by chance? Yeah, you should put your whole bio. Yeah, we're gonna connect it to you. Obviously, the we're gonna connect it to this podcast episode too, just in case there's Um anybody out there that's interested in you and your services. But, um, do you think that you should just write this bio of your, like how you got into this and just so people can like kind of connect with you through your, through your website? Does that make sense?

Speaker 2: 38:24

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know and, and that's the that also, that, like how I got into this, I guess I skipped that part. So one of the one of the things that got me interested in then travel notary was when we were, when we were, in San Diego. We bought our house in Virginia unseen, and so we worked with the lender that was out here because our realtor was out here, and so when it came time to sign papers for the house, they had just a mobile notary to San Diego for us, which it's somebody who lives in San Diego. But, um, they sent him out to my house and at this time I was living with my cousins in a three bedroom house and there was nine of us, like they Not family of five, and then they have four, but they only have their. They have their two kids on weekends, in certain days, so it wasn't all the time, but it was a lot of the time.

Speaker 2: 39:06

And so I told this guy, like he calls us, he's like, hey, where do you want to sign papers at? And I'm like, well, let me think of somewhere cool, like I don't know, like a Starbucks or a coffee shop. Um, and he was like, no, like we go wherever you want to go like you don't have to make for me, it's for you. So I'm like well, you know, I want to make sure my kids are in school and that the house is clean. He's like no, no, no. He's like the convenient of a mobile notary is. I come to you and you say you don't work around me. I don't care what time it is, I don't care when is that, I'll come to you. And I was like dang, this is so.

Speaker 2: 39:35

I had this guy come over like four o'clock because again, I don't want any convenience, anybody Four o'clock and he's sitting at the table and the entrance of how like we got to this house was through the back way, like there's a front door but we all came through the back door. So the table is right by the back door and as we're signing papers again, my packet was probably a good 150 pages also Me and Nader sitting at the table were both like taking an hour to sign and throughout this time like kids are coming in, families are different families coming in like so many people. And then this guy like stayed super professional and just dealt with what was there on the table. My, you know, we had our dogs and it was just a mess. I felt so embarrassed.

Speaker 2: 40:15

But he was so professional and he was like no, this is what I do like all day long. I go to different people's houses and I just do their loans, and same thing. He was like it's a perfect career for somebody who's retired or a side gig. And so a lot of people do it as a side hustle, right side gig. But for me I'm like it's perfect for my life because it gives me that little bit of income, that little bit of spending money.

Speaker 2: 40:36

But I'm not attached to somebody. I don't have to. I don't have to be at somebody's beck and call. A lot of times. It's it's a joy I get. Like I have a title company call me, like, hey, signing just closed at four. Can you do a signing at 10? I'm like, yeah, cool, absolutely. My kids are in bed by the end of husband's home. Yeah, I'll do it. And so that I love it. That's the joy I get are those last minute or yesterday. Yesterday was a holiday and so I had people calling me and they're like, hey, I was gonna go to the bank to get this notice, but banks are closed. And then I was gonna go to FedEx, but FedEx is closed, so can you do this? I'm like, yeah, I'm eating lunch right now. I'll be over there in 15 minutes.

Speaker 1: 41:12

So would you recommend this to to other other women, other moms, is to get into the notary business.

Speaker 2: 41:17

Absolutely yes, yes, and the system that I chose to get trained through it's. It's very supportive and and even the notaries here like I've had to call some of the notaries in town because sometimes I'll get a, I'll get a document from out of state and I'm like, wait, can I do this or is this the correct way to do it? Or you know, like New York and California, their Acknowledgements and girats may look different than ours. So, yeah, I'll call the notary up and they're like yeah, yeah, I'll do this or do this, or so it's just a really supportive community Again.

Speaker 2: 41:50

I love that Support and they give us the tools we need and we're like on a Facebook group so we can get in and ask any questions we have. Um, so, yeah, I would definitely recommend somebody to get into and, of course, like I said, just the flexibility and you you make, yeah it as long as, as long as you're doing your work and if you want to be busy, you can be busy and speaking about, I mean, with the refa season coming up, oh yeah, with interest rates coming down, there's going to be a lot of people that bought houses last year that are going to be refinancing their home now.

Speaker 1: 42:21

I'm already getting emails from past clients Asking like, what's the process to refinance my house? Because I got an 8% and now we're down to 6.5 over here. So it's like the yeah, girl, you're gonna get, you're gonna be, you're gonna be busy. If you want to be busy, yeah, I love it.

Speaker 2: 42:37

Somebody do it.

Speaker 1: 42:39

What's the certification course? How long did it take you to get certified? I'm just curious, just for anybody else is listening.

Speaker 2: 42:44

So I did mine over the course of about three weeks, but I did it once my kids went to bed, so I'd laid them down 738 and I would do it till about midnight. I did it five days a week, yeah, and it took me three weeks. So you can't really tell about like how many hours, because everyone's gonna do it at their own pace. My mentor, he suggests anywhere from two to three hours a day. If you're gonna do it like because you don't want to just like drill it in, you're gonna just get and the course that I have, you can just go back and you can keep doing it.

Speaker 1: 43:11

That's awesome. Is there a recertifications that you have to do every like year or two years, or okay?

Speaker 2: 43:16

So, um, I got certified through the national notary association, which is where, all like, all the nose will get certified. So that's a yearly thing every year. You have they're. They're basic essentials to a lot of it's just state laws. But then I did the loan signing system, which is where that's like the hands-on for the loan signing itself. Um, and then I pick up some with, um, different signing services want you to do their training. So it's like all like, give me all the training, give me all that.

Speaker 1: 43:43

Just get certified in a little bit of everything so that you have those options to do whatever you want. You can take it as far as you want. Um, I like that. That's actually really cool. Yeah, oh my gosh. Okay, just for people so they can find you, and of course I'm going to link your website and everything into the show notes, so just in case anybody is looking for a mobile notary in virginia. But, um, do you have like a social media page where it's like just strictly business? Yes, I do.

Speaker 2: 44:12

What is it, girl? It's five star notary LLC. So in. Facebook, google business page, and then, of course, it's my website, which is five star notary LLCcom.

Speaker 1: 44:24

Perfect, okay, well, that's our time. But seriously, thank you so much for having Um letting me interview you and letting me tell your story a little bit. I know we got a little personal, but I just had to because you're you. You also are one of those women that I feel like inspires, and I had to have you on for for that. So thank you so much.

Speaker 2: 44:45

Summer Well thank you, and if they want to reach out for, like said, just excellent enforcement support or whatever, I'm always available to talk. Perfect Thanks, garly.