"Filling Our Cup With Michelle Rouche"

The vibrant motivational speaker, magazine pioneer, and author-to-be, Michelle Rouche joins us on the AF Collective  to share her inspiring journey and her forthcoming book, "How to Love a Black Woman." As we pay homage to Black History Month, Michelle's narrative powerfully illustrates her impact on the community and her exciting plans for virtual live events that promise to invigorate us all.

Diving into the echoes of the past, Michelle and I unpack the weighty matters of childhood trauma and the often hard-fought battle for resilience. Our candid conversation reveals personal battles with shame and the quest for healing, emphasizing the importance of confronting these issues head-on for the sake of our growth, parenting, and mental health. Michelle's story is a testament to how the unspoken traumas can shape us, and her courage in sharing serves as a guiding light for others navigating their way through similar darkness.

As we forge ahead, we celebrate the undeniable power of words and the determined pursuit of dreams. Michelle regales us with tales of her speaking ventures, from church lessons to life-changing collegiate speeches, underscoring the resilience necessary to manifest one's destiny. Our dialogue traverses the significance of a multicultural and multigenerational perspective, culminating in a preview of Michelle's upcoming endeavors—a podcast and potentially a video series, all while gearing up for the fall release of her legacy book. Join us on this extraordinary journey of empowerment, and connect with Michelle's wisdom daily as we learn to harness our innate strength to overcome and live authentically.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hey guys, welcome back to updated AF Collective the podcast. I am your host, megan Worth. Okay, so I don't know what's going on with the rest of the country but I don't know how you guys are all managing, but the weather has been insane and I know like this is not a podcast that talks about weather, but oh my gosh, you guys saw that there was a tornado warning in San Diego. Texas has been raining like nonstop, like it's just like lakes that weren't there are now there. So it's just been crazy. I hope, wherever you're at in the world, it's not as insane as what's been going on here in the States. I know you guys over there in the UK get like excessive amount of rain and stuff like that. So I hope everybody is doing okay, but that's not what our podcast is about. I just I just happened to bring it up because literally it's been crazy. Like I said, there was a tornado warning and like a funnel that came down in San Diego. So I don't know, it's fine.

Speaker 1: 1:08

So today's guest we have a great friend of mine. She's a motivational speaker. She has her own magazine that she founded and edits, as well as a soon to be published published author. Her name is Michelle Roche. I have been trying to get this woman on my podcast for maybe for six weeks. Something about that. I like literally asking her nonstop. I've seen her speak twice on stage and that's how I met her. I went to an event and she was one of the keynote speakers and I'm telling you, watching this woman speak, you can't look away. She's so motivating. The things that she says resonates so much with not just me but every single woman in the room. And it was just, it was, it was an experience. And so the second time I ran into her, I stopped her. I was like, hey, so you don't know me, but I have a podcast and would you be on it? And so she's like, yeah, then we kind of like win our separate ways and she's so busy because she just I mean, she's all over the place, like I said, like she's, she's a magazine editor, writer, and and she's writing a book. I want you to listen to this episode and just hear what she has to say. We talk a little bit about her story, but we also get into the things that she does. She also is going to be. She mentioned that she's going to have some virtual events, like virtual live events. That again, if you go follow her on Instagram, social media she drops all that information in there. She's amazing. Her book is it's how to Love a Black Woman. She's in the middle of writing it, so it's one of those books. Again, like I told her, I was like, as soon as your book comes out, I want to read it, I want to sign to copy. It's literally a book on self love as well as how to love our friends and our family. You know, and just you know, like we, we unpack all that and I love the fact that this episode is taking place in February for Black History Month. It's just, she's so perfect. You guys enjoy the episode Please, like I said, like, go follow her on social media and everything. She's amazing and she is a powerhouse woman. All right, guys, enjoy and I'll see you next Friday.

Speaker 1: 3:55

Welcome to the updated AF Collective podcast, where we celebrate the power and resilience of women. Join me as we dive into inspiring stories, engage in meaningful conversations and explore topics that empower women from all walks of life. I believe that every woman has a unique strength within her waiting to be unleashed, whether you're an entrepreneur, a leader, a creative, a caregiver or simply on your own personal journey. This podcast is for you. Together, we'll share stories of triumph, discuss strategies for success and provide a supportive space for women to connect and grow. Get ready for real, authentic conversations that ignite your inner strength and inspire you to chase after your dreams fearlessly. Welcome to the updated AF Collective. Hey guys, welcome back to the show.

Speaker 1: 4:45

Today I have a very special guest, somebody who the day I met her actually I didn't get to meet you, we didn't get to talk, but the day I discovered her I instantly knew I wanted her on the show. This was like a couple of months back, and her name is Michelle Ruchet. She's a motivational speaker. Are you the editor or the owner? I think you're the owner of a magazine. Yes, yes, oh, my gosh, we have to get into that. But I want you guys to hear what she has to say. She's a motivational speaker and, like I said, from the minute that I discovered her I mean the first time I heard you speak I teared up and I actually brought up your speech on a previous episode with a hypnotherapist talking about, you know, making sure your cup is filled before filling up anybody else.

Speaker 1: 5:32

So I actually brought that up because I had to talk about you before I even knew you. I was talking about you on the podcast.

Speaker 2: 5:39

So welcome, michelle, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you so much.

Speaker 1: 5:45

Thank you. Okay, let's go into your background. Let's go into your story how you even got into this work, how you became a motivational speaker, everything because you actually have a really inspiring story of success, and that's what I want to talk about.

Speaker 2: 6:02

Yeah, so I guess I was one of those kids that on the report card they always had, you know she's a really good student but she talks too much and they probably said it was a lot more tacked. But as long as I can remember I have just always loved to talk and encourage people and just kind of get into the heads of people and figure out who they are and I know I could somehow, you know, our lives could connect and so I think that evolved into the person I am today. I've always been. I'm the oldest sibling of I have two sisters. So I was. We always did, we pretended that we were in schools, of course I was always a teacher, so I was always the boss, I always took the lead. So yeah, I was. It was a lot of on the job training that I gave myself.

Speaker 1: 6:58

You had a mandated captive audience with your siblings, so I mean you started your mentorship young and it's like your siblings were the ones that had to be. You know you're pouring into, you know just thinking about like that's just setting you up for what you do today.

Speaker 2: 7:15

Honestly, yeah, I never thought about it like that they were my. They were my. What do you call them? Ganny pigs?

Speaker 1: 7:21

Ganny pigs.

Speaker 2: 7:21

That's what I said mandated captive audience. They had no choice.

Speaker 1: 7:24

They had to sit there and listen to what you had to say. So let's talk about your childhood more Cause, like I said, like you have some really good stories. I remember the last time I got to hear you speak, I was so excited because you talked about how you were so resilient, and that's what I love about your stories You're you're not well, not only resilient, but you're you think outside of the box a lot, and that's, I feel like, what created success. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Speaker 2: 7:52

Yeah, I definitely, would wholeheartedly agree with you on that and my childhood. We often I often go back to a place in my childhood because at one point, honestly, I had unconsciously suppressed so much. I tell people a lot that I'm a, I'm a teen mother and that that that statement is all by itself. For me, it has such a negative connotation and I would, you know, be super reluctant to even share that fact about who I was as a person. I didn't realize that, making that I suffered with shame. I hadn't. I had no idea, because I actually did a documentary, a documentary story on this, because I wanted to unpack it. When I finally realized that, whoa, I forgot a lot, I suppressed a lot and I purposefully just didn't, didn't talk about it. It was a source of shame and I didn't understand what shame was and I didn't understand the ripple effects of shame. And so, talking about my childhood, I would my.

Speaker 2: 9:07

When you think about childhood, you think about the formative years, you know elementary school, but when you're a teenager, that's also a part of your childhood. And so, even allowing myself to put my 16, 17 year old self back in that space, I was on a podcast, as a matter of fact. And the the host asked me. She said do you have any childhood trauma? And I went no, and. And I mean because when you think of childhood trauma, you think of, you know, abandonment, you think of molestation or being bullied, and I'm like, no, I don't have any childhood trauma.

Speaker 2: 9:46

I have come from a two parent home. You know, we always had food, we were never evicted. My parents loved me. You know all of these things. And I get back to my car. I mean I just sit there and I have this overwhelming, sobering thought and I'm going oh, I forgot about that, I forgot I was a teenage and so being able to and this was three years ago now just being able to unlock those things and and insert that part of my story into my life and just peeling back the layers and becoming a better version of myself, accepting and owning, you know what I just hated? I think I hated it because I I judged myself by that one particular event in my life and so, yeah, being able to unpack that was super powerful for me, so powerful that I spent weeks crying, just figuring out emotions would come and flood me. And I'm going oh, my God, I forgot this.

Speaker 1: 10:50

And oh, now I can remember that because I opened the door to allow you suppressed it for so long because it's like you almost had to first off. Childbirth at any age is traumatic. It's even more traumatic by babies having another baby. Your childhood got ripped out of you and it's almost like you, like you said, like you don't think of it in the moment. Well, in the moment I feel like, yeah, it's that that overwhelming of shame of like, oh my gosh, like this is quote, unquote, not normal. But it's almost like you know, when you suppress it, you are convincing your subconscious mind that no, this isn't trauma like this isn't trauma because you, because otherwise the weight, the weight of trauma is going to wear you down. So then over the years, somebody's unpacking that trauma and you're like, oh wait this is trauma.

Speaker 2: 11:39

This is. This is a huge traumatic event, which it is, yeah, and one of the things I said, well, was that it was easier to perform than process. So I kept getting the good grades, I kept, you know, wanting to just put myself out there and say you know, I'm more than a team mom. Hey, I'm this, I'm a student. Hey, I'm going to college. Hey, you know, just kind of just compensate Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 12:07

It's like a distraction because it's like just like, for example, like I, I have a lot of childhood trauma, but we're not here to talk about that today. But it's like you want to show them like, look at all I've accomplished, don't look over here.

Speaker 2: 12:24

It's like that door at the house is like when people come over, like but that's what's leading to today's society of mental health is because we are.

Speaker 1: 12:33

We are brainwashing ourselves into thinking like if we overcompensate, nobody's going to see the dark shadows in the closet. They're going to see all these accomplishments. But it's causing a lot of anger, it's causing mental health issues, it's causing suicide, it's causing a lot of just stuff. And we wonder why we're so angry all the time. Because we're not unpacking our trauma. You have to unpack it to realize like, okay, I need to work on my shadows, yes, and that's what you started doing. I mean, I like to think we go through trauma so that we can help the next person. We go through it to show other women I say women because you're also a hype woman for women out there. We show them like, hey, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. It's not going to be easy, it's going to suck and it's going to hurt.

Speaker 2: 13:23

But if I can do it, you can do it. Yes, for sure, for sure. And one thing I want to add is that when we don't unpack the trauma, we don't address it, the ripple effect of it and I think one of the biggest things that I said this in my docu story was that I feel like I robbed my children of the opportunity to have a soft mom.

Speaker 1: 13:50

Versus a mom who has to live in survival mode. Yes, nobody wants a parent that has to live in survival mode. We're not present. We're not in the moment. We feel like we have to keep going to correct our quote. Unquote wrongs yeah.

Speaker 2: 14:07

Self-inflicted wounds. I talk about that a lot Self-inflicted wounds but I had some really good childhood stuff too, but, like you said, it's a source of trauma, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 14:24

So okay, walk me through that now. Okay, so you have your kids, your babies, and what are you doing now that you were, you married? What did you have to do after that?

Speaker 2: 14:35

No, I wasn't married. I was a teenager and so I wanted to go to college. I had friends. I think what's important to understand is I was trying to figure out. How did a smart girl like me end up in this situation? It?

Speaker 1: 14:54

can happen to anybody. Michelle Right, it can happen to anybody.

Speaker 2: 14:58

And so, looking back, just the next generation my mom was 16 when she had me and got married. My mom was a 16-year-old wife and I'm like I have a 13-year-old right now. In three years he's probably not going to even be really good at washing clothes, let alone being a husband a spouse.

Speaker 2: 15:19

And so I realized that my mother was a teen mother, my grandmother was a teen mother and so, generationally, this happening in our family, I was like, oh yeah, I put a stop to this and we did, and we did, and so there's a 10, yeah, 11-year difference age difference between my daughter and my next child, because I'm like I'm definitely not having any more kids right now. And so I ended up getting married in my 20s and just again not realizing the trauma and the effects of that and how it would affect every last one of my relationships.

Speaker 1: 16:07

Absolutely. So walk me through, okay, so you eventually do get married. Now you brought something up. I remember you asked the group of girls at the conference that we were at like have you ever been broke? And then that was the story. Oh yeah, how did you become resilient? I feel like you have to go through something. You have to and again, correct me if I'm wrong, because I'm only speaking from personal experience, but I hit rock bottom and then I became resilient. I dug myself out of a dark, dark place. Is that what happened to you too? Because you talked about that story of having to become resilient. When did that take place?

Speaker 2: 16:48

I think resilience is something that rises. I think we possess it.

Speaker 2: 16:52

I don't think we obtain it. I think we possess it and when the opportunity presents itself. It's kind of like when you plant a seed you know that it's planted, you know what you planted. And just because you don't see growth, just because you don't see progress, just because you don't see the bud for maybe weeks or days or weeks, you know what's planted. And so I believe resilience was inside of you and inside of me the whole time. And I think once we reach this point in our life where okay, now is time, it's like having that in case of fire the things on the wall and this is breaking case of fire I think we get to that point where we have to break in case of whatever the calamity is, and we just take off running towards that direction. And so, being broke or being a team mom or all these things, I believe they created grit and determination. But I think resilience resides in us and is something that we continuously tap into.

Speaker 1: 17:59

Was there a point where you had to tap into that Absolutely?

Speaker 2: 18:04

When I went off to college, I still wanted to go to college, even as a team home. My friends were going off to college to different places. I told my mom I want to go to college Again. In my family we didn't talk about fast, but we didn't talk about financial aid forms and college admissions. Not because, again, not because I don't think my mom had the tools. I'll put it that way my parents didn't have the tools. Their parents didn't arm them with the tools. It just wasn't talked about. College was.

Speaker 1: 18:43

Because you don't know. You don't know what you don't know. Hardly anybody in my family went to college as well, so what I had to put myself through, I ended up dropping out because I didn't know, you don't know what you don't know.

Speaker 2: 18:54

Yeah, I think seeing my friends and one of my very good friends named Tammy. She was raised mostly by her grandmother and she went on to law school and she just had really high aspirations. She's still a best friend till this day. I'm like we're just beginning to talk about our lives in the direction we want it. Again, I think that resilience being something that just resides in us, there was, I can't remember, a breaking point, but I do remember seeing my friends preparing to go off to college and realizing I want my life to go a different way. Yes, I can be a mom and a college guide.

Speaker 1: 19:37

Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 19:38

Yeah, just those kind of paradigm shifts and those aha moments. It's like no, I want something different, including still dating my child's father at the time, and when I got to college I was like wait, there's a whole world out here, I don't want a boyfriend, I don't want him for a boyfriend, I'm moving on and so, yeah, just these aha moments, just kind of. And I always have to have a disclaimer he was not an absentee dad.

Speaker 1: 20:06

He was there and is there. That's awesome. So what did you want to do when you were in college, like, what was the plan? Are you doing? What you wanted to do.

Speaker 2: 20:17

Absolutely not Really good story. I'm so glad you asked. So again, that performance, that pressure to perform. I had no idea what I wanted to do when I went to college. None, my best friend, she wanted to be a lawyer. That was her plan, that was her financial plan, because she came from really not so rich means.

Speaker 1: 20:43

And so so she was like I'm going to go to a career that's going to make me money, yes, yes.

Speaker 2: 20:48

And so I'm thinking I don't want to be a lawyer, what's the next thing I can do? And so I, literally I was like I want to major in accounting. Don't ask me why I didn't. There was nothing about my life that wanted to be in accounting. And you're laughing because you're looking at me and, knowing what you know about me, know that I could never have been in accounting. And so I was like I want to be an accountant. So I went to school, went to college, went to Albany State. So I am going through my first year, did amazing Dean's List next year, kind of getting into the curriculum, getting into your major. So I'm taking accounting and I'm not doing well at all.

Speaker 2: 21:32

So I was like if you, can't get Devon's credits together, you're probably not going to be a good accountant. And so I went to one of my teacher, my accounting teacher, and I'll never forget he was an Asian man and so he asked could he talk to me after school, after class? And I was like yeah, I mean he wanted to discuss my grades. He was like again, he called me by my legal first name, with his Asian accent. He said Daweida, and I was like yes, and he's like why are you accounting major? And I'm going huh. He says why are you accounting major? And I was like I don't know. He says you know accounting. And so I was like ah, he said yeah. He said and this is actually you're an accounting major, you're an accounting major. I'm kidding, I didn't see that.

Speaker 2: 22:24

He says you're an accounting major, and so I marched on down to the office and changed my major immediately, and so I think he was steering me in the right direction. I think I'm more of a communications major, but just understanding that somebody seeing that in me going, hey, I know this may be an aspiration, but this is not at your core, this is not who you are. And so, yeah, that's how I ended up not being an accountant. Like that Sorry.

Speaker 1: 22:59

If it's not lighting you up and clearly your professor saw that I hated it.

Speaker 1: 23:05

I'm glad that he called you out. Me too. Can you imagine this day, right here, being an accountant? I wouldn't have never passed Because you just didn't have. That wasn't your path. So, ok, how did you get into motivational speaking? Because you're a natural when you're on stage you command the room. And when I first saw you at Key Audit's events the Tea Party oh my gosh, and it was crazy having me troll friend Carmella. And Carmella said when she gets and she pointed you out because we were sitting a few tables away from you she goes when she speaks. You are going to love her.

Speaker 1: 23:45

And I was like oh, I never got to see Michelle speak or whatever. So when you got up there I think at the end of it I looked around, including myself. We were all teary eyed. You know how to command a room. How did you get into this?

Speaker 2: 23:59

I'd love to say that I take no credit for my abilities to speak honestly and how it comes. Naturally it's a gift, it really really is a gifting, and when you're gifted in something, it's not hard, it's not laborious, and so I absolutely love it. Now, getting started, it would probably go back to when I was probably in middle school, going to Sunday school, honestly to church, and there was an old deacon we used to teach the Sunday school class, and I'm a avid student, I love learning, I love information, I love listening to other orators, and so he was so, so boring, like it was good material, but he was so boring. I was like why don't we have this old man teaching the middle high school Sunday school class? And I was like, I asked, I was like could I be a teacher? And they, let me.

Speaker 1: 25:03

That's great, so you started in the church.

Speaker 2: 25:06

Right, it started there, and so from the church. There was another time I was at Albany State again another story and this was during freshman orientation and they used to have these. I don't know what they do in college now, but they had a rally where everybody came in and it was during freshman orientation week and they had a speaker come in and I just remember sitting there listening to him and going, oh my god, just listening to every word and one thing that he said. I don't remember this guy, I don't remember anything. I just remember he said if it is to be, it's up to me, if not now, when, if not you who? And so I was like, oh, if not now, when, ok, it's now, if not you who. I was like it's me, it's me. And the speaker bug totally, totally bit me after that.

Speaker 1: 26:00

That's one of my favorite lines, too, is, if it's what's meant to be, is up to me. That's one of my absolute favorite sayings, only because there's been so many times where I've just felt defeated or giving up or something like that. But then I tell myself I could either go the route of saying, well, it was just never meant to be, that's why it's not coming easy to me, but no, absolutely. We are in charge of what is meant to be for our lives.

Speaker 1: 26:24

If it's put in our if it's put on our heart or is put in our brain. It's a reason why it's there.

Speaker 2: 26:29

Yes.

Speaker 1: 26:29

And now we're being tested and challenged. I like to think that God tests me all the time. We're being tested to perform or do what we say we are going to do, or be the person that we tell people that we are. We can say all the day like, oh, I'm resilient, I'm dedicated, I'm motivated. But then, when you are actually tested, how easy is it? Just to throw in the towel, watch some TV and say you know what, it just wasn't meant to be.

Speaker 2: 26:56

Yeah, and that's the easiest, most laziest hop out. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. I don't think so. That's the answer there. I don't think that's where we're going to hover. That's too easy. That's low hanging fruit, it's seriously low hanging fruit and so I don't Go ahead.

Speaker 1: 27:18

Oh, I'm sorry, I mean to cut you off. Go ahead.

Speaker 2: 27:20

No, as I said, the majority of the time, the things that we want the most are the things that we have to fight through. We really have to fight through them Exactly Again.

Speaker 1: 27:34

How bad do you want it? I was listening. He's a motivational speaker, eric Thomas. I was actually listening to him this morning.

Speaker 2: 27:41

And.

Speaker 1: 27:43

I listened to one of his speeches three times this morning so I had a long drive to physical therapy. I listened to the same speech three times Because I love when he said and this really resonated with me this morning, so I think I needed this but he said you have to want your success, or whatever you're going after, more than you want to physically breathe. You have to want it more.

Speaker 2: 28:05

Yes, I'm familiar with that one. Yeah, I love him. All humans have defaults. We have defaults Just like I talk about factory resets in some of my yeah Talking when we get these phones or electronics that we add all of this stuff to all of these apps and the apps are running and a lot of times the apps are running in the background and we don't even realize the apps are running in the background. I don't know the countless times that I've gone to Verizon since my phone won't keep a charge. It's like you got 77 apps open running in the background. That's why your phone won't keep a charge. So we have to be aware of the things that are running in our background that are consistently opposing us, not just physically but mentally. They're opposing the plans that God has for our life and we have to work to close out those tabs, close out those apps and again make the main thing the main thing.

Speaker 1: 29:13

Absolutely. That's where goal setting comes into place. People think that, okay, I have all these goals, but most of the time, like you said, they're more focused on the apps or the tabs in the background versus their goal. So, when you close all that out, put all of your energy and focus. Write your goals down and put all of your energy and focus on that. Just like I said, stop focusing on the things that don't even matter, that are not even going to. You're scrolling on Instagram for hours on end. It's not going to make you money. Watching Netflix for hours on end, it's not going to get you to where you want to be.

Speaker 2: 29:52

Yes, it gets Netflix money, exactly.

Speaker 1: 29:56

But you've got to focus on your goals. So I have to know how did you get into speaking? Did you just find a stage and put yourself out there? Was it just like a referral? Like people heard you at church and are like, oh my gosh, you got a book, michelle. Like how did it happen for you? Because I know a lot of women right now that want to get into speaking. How did you become so successful at it? Because now I see you everywhere.

Speaker 2: 30:25

I love it.

Speaker 2: 30:26

I love it too. It was all of those things. There's a woman listening. Well, there is a woman listening. You can't wait to be invited. I'll say that you cannot wait to be invited. You have the internet, you have Facebook, you have all of these apps. Sit in front of a camera, allow people to hear you.

Speaker 2: 30:55

I didn't have the and I guess I can say level of success. I didn't have this level of success Probably three or four years ago. You have to create, curate events. I heard a speaker say that you don't have to invite me to your event. I'll rent a building and bring my own microphone. Sometimes you really, really have to do that, and especially those of us that have believe.

Speaker 2: 31:22

What we have is a calling. I don't just want to talk, I want people's lives to change. When I talk, I teach a speakers course and I tell them we don't just stand on stages. We don't just stand on stages, we create transformation by our words. This entire world was framed by words. I tell them. I said if God use his words and if you're not a God girl, then you can mute this part those that are listening but if God created the entire world by the words of his mouth. Just imagine what we could partner with, what we could create if we use our words the exact same way Words.

Speaker 2: 32:11

Every time we speak, there's oxygen released. Oxygen is life. Words are life forces that we release. Yes, it's a life force that we release. Having something to say and saying something are two totally different things. When you have something to say, it will keep you up at night. When you have something to say, it will cause you to say I'm going to create my own event and I'm going to invite people because what I have to share is going to absolutely revolutionize their life, is going to transform their life, is going to help them in the very next generation. I can't be silent. You have to get to the point where I can't be silent.

Speaker 1: 33:00

There's a reason why. There's a reason why you have, like you said, I like to think of words as an energy there's time.

Speaker 1: 33:08

They're absolutely right I'm sure you've been correct me if I'm wrong, because you've been speaking a heck of a lot longer than me You're the professional. But when you're standing in front of that group whether it's all women, men or whatever, or a combination of the both when you're standing in front of there, I do believe that also we can channel God. There's another form of energy he is going to put in your heart, put in your mind exactly what this audience needs to say. Somebody needs to say it. Only the way you say it is how they're going to absorb the information.

Speaker 1: 33:41

There are certain people that can get on a stage like the Deacon, and have something to say, but there's no conviction, there's no passion behind it. That's where I feel like you get used. People like you, and then Felicia Hudson, who's been on the podcast before, these motivational speakers that have that passion. That's why God's like I'm going to use you and I'm going to need you with this group of people, because this group of people is going to need to hear what you have to say in only a way that you know how to say it Only the story that you know how to say.

Speaker 2: 34:17

I could not have said it better. You hit the nail on the head. One thing that I'm always asking God is to give me a multi-generational, multicultural approach, because I want to be able to for the 13-year-old to not get lost in my message and I want it to be relevant for the 43-year-old to understand my context, clues and what I'm saying. And a lot of the time I'm always off-road. 90% of the time I'm off-script and so I'm heavily lying on God.

Speaker 1: 34:53

You're off-script all the reason? Because you're being guided. Yeah, and you're being guided. If you go off-script and the whole entire keynote speech doesn't go how you had it in your mind, that you rehearsed in the car so many times on the way to the event, it's for a reason Because now you're in front of these women and God's telling you no, because we have somebody in the back that needs you to say this this way. There's a reason why.

Speaker 2: 35:21

Yes, absolutely. And that example that I use about the money and the baking I'll never forget the first time that I said that and I don't even remember when the first time was, but I remember the response from the first time. Did it just come out Like would you not even plan?

Speaker 1: 35:41

on making it, Because that was. I think I can tell you that when you said that at the last conference we were at, it was something I needed to hear and it actually woke something up in me. It was like a loving kick in the pants, like get up, you are resilient. So that, oh my gosh, I almost feel like I'm not going to be selfish, but I feel like it was for me, because that was one of the stories that just really woke me up.

Speaker 2: 36:07

And I have to consistently go back to my own stories, honestly, because I'm like I've been here before and I know the Alk is almost favorable. Get up, girl.

Speaker 1: 36:18

Yeah, the solution is not far. It's not far from you.

Speaker 1: 36:22

No, no Can you tell that story on this podcast, just in case there's a woman looking for motivation or trying to find a way of like, becoming resilient? Because what your story? What it said to me is we are in arms reach of a solution. You can, and what? Oh my gosh. And this is what I love that you said You're like I can look at my bank account and see this low, low amount, or I can look at my bank account and be like, oh my gosh, I can do A, b and C with this to double my income. Can you please tell that story?

Speaker 2: 36:51

Yes, yes, is that okay? Yeah, absolutely, and this was a time in my life when I was broke, not broken broke I didn't have any money and well, the amount of money I had I'm looking at it like you can look at it two ways, and I talk about this there's a difference between vision and sight. Vision and sight are always opposing what you can imagine. Sight is what you can presently see, and so, having vision with the little bit of money you have and I use this $17.38 for an example, because it's not even 20 bucks I'm like, ah, what can you? I don't even have 20 bucks, I can't go to the ATM. So this was a time when, you know, people weren't big on Cash App and all of those other things weren't really big.

Speaker 2: 37:36

So now you can have $5 and it doesn't matter because you can do it electronically, but back to the story.

Speaker 2: 37:42

So the $17.38 in my bank account. Vision looks at and goes we got $17.38. We are good. Sight looks at and goes. We only have $17.38. So that's when you have to figure out who you're going to listen to. Are you going to listen to vision? Are you going to listen to sight? Someone has to win. There's always an opposing, for someone has to win. So I listened to the side of vision. Vision says hey, we got $17.38. We're going to take the $17.38 and we're going to match it with the talent that you have. This particular talent we're going to tap into is the fact that you know how to bake a cake. I'm like, wow, okay, I was like it's pretty good. People tell me it's good, so I use that $17.38.

Speaker 2: 38:26

Megan and I went to H-E-B and I bought the ingredients for a pound cake and you can make a whole cake for like $14.

Speaker 2: 38:32

Honestly, maybe a little less, because I had some of the ingredients already in my house. I already had the sugar and some of the other things, and so I took what I had and turned it into what I needed. And so if I had just looked at my $17.38, what I had in my bank account, if I had looked at it with my natural eye and not with my spiritual eye, not what I could create, because God is always saying what is in your hand, what can you use for what's in your hand to create? I gave this example before and I hope that I told that story appropriately, that you could put together the pieces. So I did make the pound cake and then my marketing idea was take it, take the pound cake, slice it into slices, package it really pretty and take it to the barber shop, because the guys at the barber shop love the pound cake and I sold it and then I made the money.

Speaker 2: 39:26

It was like $34 when I got finished and then I did that process over and over again until I had what I needed. And what was in my hand and what was in my house was what I needed In order to get the money that I thought I that was out of reach. I said this before a basketball in my hands is nothing. A basketball in LeBron James's hand is a multi-billion dollar industry. A golf club in my hand is worth nothing. A golf club in Tiger Woods hands is a multi-billion dollar industry. It's a Nike sponsorship, it's all of these things. A tennis racket in my hand is nothing, but it's a. It's a billion dollars in Serena's hand. So you have to tap into what's in your hand. What have you been given the ability to do? Naturally, absolutely. That will cause you to do this.

Speaker 1: 40:29

It's all inside of you.

Speaker 1: 40:31

Yeah, the answer to everybody's problems. It's already inside of you. You have to look inward. Stop looking outward for a solution, because that's what your brain is supposed to be doing anyway as soon as you have a problem, or you can either shut down or you can figure out like go inward or be like what can I do? Like you said, sight versus a vision. You need to find your vision. Yes, yes, yes, my favorite story. So talk about the magazine. Okay, your magazine is for women, created by women. Talk about your magazine, because I didn't even know it. Like I said, I had to do some digging on you because I was like I want to know more about Michelle. Talk about that.

Speaker 2: 41:19

So the magazine is called, she Is Magazine and it's primarily for black women, although we feature all women, and one of the things that caused me to take even a deeper look at creating this magazine of course there's other magazines for black women. We have Essence. That's the premier black women magazine, and I like to say my magazine is a step before you get to Essence. And so one of the things I was looking for some images.

Speaker 2: 41:52

I was doing something or creating a graphic or something, and I was looking for some images, and I simply typed in women having fun and I got countless images of white women. I'm like, wait a minute, black women like to have fun. It's like you have to put the disclaimer in, you have to put the qualifier in excuse me, black women having fun. And so having to do that over and over and over again, and I was like, wait a minute, we need spaces where we're featured, we need spaces where we don't have to put the qualifier in there, and so that was one of my responses was the creation of the magazine. One of the features that I love about the magazine is five women, you should know, and each issue we feature five women. They're not world famous women. They're women that you should know, women that are champions in their neighborhoods, champions in their workplaces, in their communities, and so just wanted to create that space for them. And then giving somebody a cover feature.

Speaker 1: 43:00

I love it. It could be your neighbor, it could be anybody and putting these women on a pedestal and saying, hey, you don't notice her, but now you do. Absolutely, absolutely. I love that. That's exactly like my goal with this podcast is like I want to take. I want to take women from all over the world and I want to and I want to show them often. I want to put them on a pedestal and like and listen, like I want to share, like you and everybody else, and say listen to what she has to say, because if she can change my life, she's going to change yours too. And that's exactly what you're doing with this magazine.

Speaker 2: 43:35

Thank you so much, thank you so much. I tell people all the time we know the Oprah's and the Gales and you know all of those people. We know all of those people. But have you met the lady that lives in Baltimore who's changing lives by being a fabulous foster mom and giving children a safe place where they can lay their head at night and they don't have to worry about being, you know, past the cost around in the system? This, this person, to me is somebody that you should know. So I fabulous.

Speaker 1: 44:08

Yeah, I love that you do that. That's. That's amazing, that's transformative, that's how you pour into other women by showcasing them and their talents and their skills.

Speaker 1: 44:19

Oh my gosh, I love it. So what's next for you? You're already. You're already big with your magazine and your motivational speaker. What's next Cause I feel like maybe a book have you thought about having your own podcast and having taking these women from your magazine and then showcasing them to an even bigger audience? Because, like I said, for whatever reason, my podcast is blowing up in the UK. You can take these and you can showcase them on a bigger audience because you have a lot of good things to say. Have what's next for Michelle?

Speaker 2: 44:56

First of all, thank you so much for your pouring into me right now. So thank you so much. I know you're not just saying lovely words, I'm just a fan, Michelle.

Speaker 1: 45:07

I'm just a fan.

Speaker 2: 45:09

And I just got a little teary eyed right there when you said what's next, because I have been working on what's next and, yeah, podcast in the works, but some some kind of a video slash TV show. I love the one on one, I love the connectivity. Of course you've seen me. I love to be in the room with women, so working on some kind of video production and, yes, a book coming this year that I'm so excited about.

Speaker 1: 45:42

I was like oh my gosh.

Speaker 2: 45:43

I wanted to release it for validizing in, but you know that's not happening and I'm trying not to put too much pressure on myself, and so the title. The title of the book is how to Love a Black Woman, so Okay, oh my gosh, I just got to release it.

Speaker 2: 46:00

That sounds amazing, it's not it's not some kind of how to for a man or any man, and and I'll I'll preface it by saying this book is for every woman. I am writing this book from my lived experience. I'm a black woman, and so the title was going to, you know, say that as well, that this book is for everybody. But how to Love a Black Woman is a user manual on how to love yourself.

Speaker 1: 46:34

I was just going to say I felt like a self love type of vibe as soon as you said that, oh my gosh, and I could talk about that all day. I love that. It's just based on specifically black women how to love yourself.

Speaker 2: 46:51

Yes, because, honestly, black women have had to face things that other races just haven't, other ethnicities just haven't. Again, this book is for all women. But the idea I got from this was we bought a, we replaced a toilet in our house some years ago and the toilet came with a user manual. And I'm going why does the? Why do we need a user manual for the toilet? Every single thing that we buy has a user manual. Every single thing we buy, including shampoo and conditioner, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 47:29

And so I just was inspired. I'm like we need a how to manual on us how to love yourself authentically, how to love yourself properly, how to love yourself financially, how to love yourself emotionally. So each chapter is going to talk about those things how to love yourself.

Speaker 1: 47:53

How to love yourself. Do you think that I didn't mean to cut you off, but can I ask your opinion on this? Do you think because our generation like ours, like mine and yours because I'm almost 40, so I'm putting it out there I do you think that young black women need this book more specifically? Because or even girls our age, because the lack of representation. And do you think that because we had that lack of representation growing up? Do you think that it just they feel like they have to make it up? Like you said, there's manuals on shampoo, conditioner, stupid things that you would think that we should know how to do, but if there's no representation, if there's nobody showing you how to love yourself, do you think that's why people need this book and it can be for all women?

Speaker 2: 48:46

Yeah, myles Monroe said if you don't know and I'm paraphrasing he said if you don't know the purpose of a thing, abuse is inevitable. And so understandings who you are, why you were created, what your abilities are, how you show up and how you take up space in the world, if you don't know how to properly use your tool which is yourself you, it opens up a Pandora's box for misuse and mishandling. And if we don't know how to properly take care of ourselves, then we can't properly communicate that to somebody else. It's like I've never driven a Tesla. My nephew has a Tesla, but if I were to borrow his car, he would have to give me some type of instruction.

Speaker 2: 49:41

It's I used to date a guy that had a stick shift car and I didn't know how to. I didn't know how to drive a stick shift. So we have to have the necessary tools and some explanations. And how does this thing work and how do I use it properly so I don't cause it to malfunction or even to break down and I think or you can take it further or to hurt?

Speaker 2: 50:06

somebody else, absolutely absolutely, and so I think understanding my younger years and not really you know my younger years and not really knowing how valuable my body was.

Speaker 1: 50:26

Knowing how to operate yourself, knowing how to like, how you affect other people, how to pour into other people exactly. Oh my gosh, and that's what this book is going to do. Yes, how far into it is it almost done? Is this something that we can all expect in the fall, or how Definitely?

Speaker 2: 50:45

the fall. When can I get assigned a copy? Okay, cause I want assigned a copy of this book. Yes, it's definitely in the fall. I think this is something that, aside from being a mom, I am most proud of this project. That's why I'm not rushing it, don't? Yes, just it's almost anything.

Speaker 1: 51:08

It's so like, cause I'm writing a book too, so it's Yay, I call my project a love letter to my daughter, even though it doesn't really have a lot to do with my daughter, but I want her to know my story and it's almost like. That's why you need to take your time with this, michelle, because this is your legacy, this is what your children will be passing off to your grandchildren and all the way, all the generations you are leaving. Like I said, like it's almost a love letter to your kids and saying, after I'm gone, I want you to take what I have written down and I want you to pass it on to every single generation, because it's gonna. That's why I say you have to take your time and make it a timeless piece of art that's going to live longer than your grandchildren's grandchildren Take your time with it.

Speaker 1: 51:52

There's. Oh my gosh. I, like I said, when this book comes out, I want to sign copy, Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 51:57

We're gonna have a party and everything. Girl.

Speaker 1: 52:00

You have to? Oh my gosh, okay. And then also motivational speaking. Do you have more keynote speaking conferences that you're gonna be going to that are open to the public? Is this something that I can share in the notes of this episode, because I know I'm gonna link your website in the show notes for any women out there it doesn't matter what country or whatever and I'm gonna put your Instagram there too. Is there if somebody wanted to see you speak live? Do you have events that are open to anybody?

Speaker 2: 52:36

The next event is going to actually be here in San Antonio. It's called the Wildflower Women's Conference. Ooh, I wish I knew the dates, but I can shoot them so you can drop it in the link, but for right now that is all live speaking. I know I'm going to march as Women's History Month, so I am going to do something virtual and everybody's invited.

Speaker 1: 53:03

I can't wait for that one as well, and you're just gonna I'm assuming you're just gonna put it out over your Instagram or social media platforms.

Speaker 1: 53:09

So okay for anybody listening that wants to connect with Michelle, obviously, just follow her on Instagram, dm her, ask her questions and you can just attend that way. And I love the fact that I, like you said like there's gonna be virtual. So if there's somebody listening in Australia, the UK or something that wants to attend, you have got to listen to this woman speak Because I, like I said you said so many things Every time I hear you speak, you always say something that just triggers me in a positive way and it just lights me up and gives me that idea of like, oh my gosh, like you said with my one of my favorite stories, like you said, like with the Kate, we are always just an arm reach away from a solution to a problem, and that's how I took it and I'm sure that another woman took it another way and vice versa, but for some reason, that's how I received it and I've been going through so many, so many stressful situations, and so it stayed with me.

Speaker 1: 54:05

like the solution's already here. I don't need to look outside of myself or somebody else to try to come up with a solution for me. We all have it here and, like I said, oh my gosh, I will link everything on the show notes. How to get ahold of you, but what is your Instagram handle? It is.

Speaker 2: 54:26

Michelle Ruchet, that is M-I-C-H-E-L-L-E-R-O-U-C-H-E. Same thing on social media Facebook, instagram, tiktok, okay awesome.

Speaker 1: 54:37

Thank you so much, Michelle. We're coming up on our hour mark, so I'll let you go and spend the rest of your Monday getting other stuff done.

Speaker 2: 54:46

But I just, I'm so grateful.

Speaker 1: 54:48

Thank you so much, thank you so much.