Updated AF Collective
"Work Life Integration" With Sarah Brieden
Navigating the tempestuous seas of real estate while anchoring oneself in the role of motherhood is an art form Sarah Brieden and I, know all too well. In our heartfelt exchange, Sarah—a dynamo in the property world and a devoted mom—joins me to share the raw truths of our lives. We dissect the societal pressures that moms face, the guilt-laden dance of attending soccer practices with laptops in tow, and the triumphs found in the smallest victories, like securing a home for a family in need.
It's rare to hear the gritty details of submitting property contracts during labor or managing postpartum depression while fielding client calls, but that's where this conversation takes you. Sarah and I don't shy away from the darker moments that punctuate our journey, from the throes of new motherhood to the resilience built through boundary setting and personal development. We're here to extend a lifeline to those who may feel adrift, affirming that the struggle is real, but so is the community of support.
Wrapping up, we cast a spotlight on the transformative power of positive self-talk and a Miracle Morning routine to navigate the high stakes and high rewards of real estate. As we swap stories of replacing late-night drinks with early morning deadlifts, the message is clear: our strength as real estate agents and mothers is amplified by healthy habits and clear communication. With Sarah's insights serving as a beacon, this episode is an ode to the warrior moms carving out their own definitions of success.
Follow Sarah on Instagram!
Sarah Brieden (@sarah.yallsrealtor) • Instagram photos and videos
Love what you hear? Wanna be featured on Updated AF? Shoot me a DM!
IG: Tx_Realestatedoll
Or
IG: UpdatedAFCollective_Podcast
Please don't forget to subscribe and leave me a review!
Email: UPDATEDAF@GMAIL.COM
XOXO,
Meg
Check out the new site! UPDATEDAF.COM
Navigating the tempestuous seas of real estate while anchoring oneself in the role of motherhood is an art form Sarah Brieden and I, know all too well. In our heartfelt exchange, Sarah—a dynamo in the property world and a devoted mom—joins me to share the raw truths of our lives. We dissect the societal pressures that moms face, the guilt-laden dance of attending soccer practices with laptops in tow, and the triumphs found in the smallest victories, like securing a home for a family in need.
It's rare to hear the gritty details of submitting property contracts during labor or managing postpartum depression while fielding client calls, but that's where this conversation takes you. Sarah and I don't shy away from the darker moments that punctuate our journey, from the throes of new motherhood to the resilience built through boundary setting and personal development. We're here to extend a lifeline to those who may feel adrift, affirming that the struggle is real, but so is the community of support.
Wrapping up, we cast a spotlight on the transformative power of positive self-talk and a Miracle Morning routine to navigate the high stakes and high rewards of real estate. As we swap stories of replacing late-night drinks with early morning deadlifts, the message is clear: our strength as real estate agents and mothers is amplified by healthy habits and clear communication. With Sarah's insights serving as a beacon, this episode is an ode to the warrior moms carving out their own definitions of success.
Follow Sarah on Instagram!
Sarah Brieden (@sarah.yallsrealtor) • Instagram photos and videos
Love what you hear? Wanna be featured on Updated AF? Shoot me a DM!
IG: Tx_Realestatedoll
Or
IG: UpdatedAFCollective_Podcast
Please don't forget to subscribe and leave me a review!
Email: UPDATEDAF@GMAIL.COM
XOXO,
Meg
Check out the new site! UPDATEDAF.COM
Hey guys, welcome back to updated AF Collective, the podcast. It's your host, megan Worth. Today's episode is another good one. I am so excited I have my friend, sarah Brighton, here with us today talking about work life balance and what it's like having your own business, running your own business, being a mom, taking your kids with you to work. She works in the real estate industry with me and definitely she hustles. She's constantly putting out videos and content and information on her social media sites and she's a busy agent. She hasn't been doing this for very long, I want to say maybe like a couple of years, like four or five years, but she's hustling and she's really good at what she does. I had to have her on the podcast because I think we were sitting at brunch it was like two weeks ago and I don't know how we got on the topic but we started talking about like a work life balance, how it's like non-existent, how difficult it is being a mom. She's happily married to you, but we kind of unpack what it's like to be the primary parent while working. It's freaking hard and I always say, like my favorite line is like work life balance is a scam. Work life integration I can't even say the word integration is more. It's just how can I explain work life integration?
Speaker 1:I do believe that if you're an entrepreneur and you are starting a business for the first time, or this is your second or third business or whatever, you are finding ways to work around your kids, around their schedules. You're working when they're at soccer practice, at baseball practice. I mean I'm writing a book and Saturdays I take my daughter to the indoor playground and I write for five hours straight and I don't stop. So I know it's like. I mean I do take breaks here and there. It's like like, like you know, like relax my brain. I do get like writer's block or whatever it's called. So I'll go like play with her for a little bit. And you know the indoor playground that we have here in Burning, texas, has a cafe in it, so we stop for lunch and stuff like that, like we break for food.
Speaker 1:But I, I mean I work with my daughter's schedule, and Sarah kind of talks about that as well. She does the same thing, and what we do when we encounter clients that kind of have a problem with it, and again we unpack all that stuff too. This is a really interesting conversation and I'm just going to say it right now None of this. I mean, we do kind of make the comment that like, yeah, mothers kind of are the primary parent. If you're a guy listening, you're staying at home dad, then this doesn't apply to you. So don't, don't feel trigger, don't take offense to it, because there are stay at home dads and maybe you're the primary parent, which is great, but mostly it's always the female. And you know, we talk about that, of just like how there's so many very successful male entrepreneurs, even if they have kids, happily married or whatever, that get to do the things that we're fighting to do, that we have to do it around ballet and gymnastics schedules and stuff like that, but a lot of men can go off and do those things because obviously the kids are already being taken care of, so it's harder for us.
Speaker 1:Speaking of my book, my writing coach is calling me. Sorry about that. I just I'm not even going to edit that out because I have been stressing about my book for the last couple of weeks. I am very, very far behind. I'm pretty sure that's why she's calling me. Anyway, we're not even going to edit that out because that's just too funny. I have literally been stressing about my book. But, like I was saying, it's hard being a mom and it's harder when you are in your own business. So Sarah and I sit down and we have the conversation, okay, guys, so I hope you enjoyed the episode. And again, if this doesn't apply to you, if you're one of those men that bust their butt is the primary parent, or whatever the case is, you're a single dad, happily married dad, where you support your wife and all of her endeavors and goals and dreams great, this isn't for you. Then Just let us have our moment and just be real. Okay, and if you're getting anything out of this podcast, please hit the subscribe button and leave me a review, an honest review, and some stars or whatever, because, again, like it really does help out the podcast. I appreciate you guys so, so much and I will be back next Friday with another episode. I'll see you then.
Speaker 1:Okay, welcome to the updated AF Collective podcast, where we celebrate the power and resilience of women. Join me as we dive into inspiring stories, engage in meaningful conversations and explore topics that empower women from all walks of life. I believe that every woman has a unique strength within her waiting to be unleashed. Whether you're an entrepreneur, a leader, a creative, a caregiver or simply on your own personal journey. This podcast is for you. Together, we'll share stories of triumph, discuss strategies for success and provide a supportive space for women to connect and grow. Get ready for real, authentic conversations that ignite your inner strength and inspire you to chase after your dreams fearlessly.
Speaker 1:Welcome to the updated AF Collective. Hey guys, welcome back to the podcast. I have a very special guest. She's one of my friends and also a girl that I got to meet about a year ago and feel very like, special and honored that I get to also work with you at the same brokerage. You guys, this is Sarah Braden. She is a working boss, babe, mom. We're here to talk about literally all things like being a mom of your multiples you have two and how she makes it all work. Sarah, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2:Thanks, I'm excited to be on. So I'm Sarah, I have two little, so I have a two-year-old and a one-year-old. What's two-year-old and a one-year-old? What am I saying? This is mom brain. A three-year-old and a two-year-old they're 19 months apart.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, we are starting off on such a great note because again, this is what comes with being a mom. We have so many tabs open in our heads that this is perfect.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, I started real estate. I'm easily distracted. That's why I'm looking at the person that's killing all of my neighbors' weeds and stuff. So, excuse me, I got my license as a realtor in 2019 and then we started our own real estate team in 2022. So, yeah, people say I'm doing a good job, but I, honestly, am just surviving and juggling it all. But, yeah, I'm excited to be on, so, thank you.
Speaker 1:Thank you. I had to say something. I was like oh, the survival word, Because your kids are so little. Do you think that's why you feel like you're in survival mode right now, because you are in it with toddlers? Do you feel like you're always in survival mode or are you just figuring it out day by day?
Speaker 2:I feel like both my kids my oldest is your typical firstborn, super kind, super sensitive, and then my youngest is like a wrecking ball. Our personalities clash a lot because he's very loud and I'm trying not to dull that spirit because I want him to be loud and courageous and all the things. But yeah, I feel like because of both of their personality types the crying and then the bulldozing everything I'm just surviving a lot of times and just trying to figure it out day by day. But yeah, that's pretty much.
Speaker 1:I'm sure so many moms can relate to that and just having those young kids with the chaos going on in the background.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you asked me before, before we got on, how I transitioned from my previous job into real estate and what that looked like. My husband's a state trooper, so in Texas, whenever you become a state trooper after the academy, you basically get a lot of time shipped off to where you don't necessarily want to be, especially if you're single or just married. So our first duty station was in Katula and I could not work there. So I ended up starting my own MLM business and I feel like I did okay, for like I think I was like 22 years old, maybe a little older, but I think I did okay.
Speaker 2:But having that background, I think is what the salesmanship, one of the things that we were challenged to do, because when you start off something like that, you're like I don't even know what I'm doing, I'm just trying to make an additional income. There was like a calendar challenge and it was like every single day you write out like your list of things that you need to be doing and you have to check them off if you don't, you feel and so that was like a huge thing that I learned from the get go is like making sure that you do have check, that you're able to like make sure that you check off. But yeah, that was like my first, I guess, sales job and then I got into, I did some work for a pipelining company here in Texas and then that was when I found out I was pregnant and I was like I'm not going to do these things anymore. So, yeah, then it all changed and I got my license and everything has just everything's changed for us and our family since I got my license.
Speaker 1:Do you think being an MLM kind of sets you up for like a formula of like okay, I need obviously systems in place because we're not born natural salespeople. We have to learn it. Do you think that MLM kind of sets you up for today's success in real estate?
Speaker 2:Totally, I feel like, because real estate is like you're working for yourself. You don't have anyone like over your shoulder watching you and making sure you're doing your job. I think that is probably the bigger struggle for me, and so with that, I think, like making sure the checklist, like I'm doing my, doing my thing and doing the things that I know will allow me to be successful. I think that that is what learning, that is what has helped me a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, self discipline, consistency and, like you said, like you have to, be on it, nobody else is going to hold your hand.
Speaker 1:Nobody else is telling you to get up, call the leads, make sure that you're doing your follow ups or whatever. Nobody's telling you to do that. So I think, yeah, like if anybody listening who's doing MLM that's thinking about, okay, maybe I can take this up a notch and get into real estate. What was the biggest challenge? Because you made that transition, so like, what do you think the biggest challenge was? Because I know it's similar, like sales is similar, but what do you think the biggest challenge of getting from MLM to real estate was?
Speaker 2:Oh, it's like completely different. I think, like having that to your core and like I guess I want to like reiterate that the MLM was like more for like side fund money, like I didn't depend on it for like survival, so because you know my husband makes good money, but like I also have to provide as well, and so when you're like in your early 20s and you know you're just kind of like not really knowing what to do in a small town, but yeah, they're completely different. I think again, having that like establishment of like these are the things I need to be doing to generate leads is so similar, but learning all the things that we have to learn with real estate and having these people's lives like in our hands and their financial checking accounts yeah.
Speaker 2:All of that like is very different than you know. Helping someone buy a fitness product like very different A $38 fitness product. So I love that like I learned the ways to bring people in and like and really just to like establish those relationships with people, because that was the same, but as far as all that we are responsible for completely different. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think, like you said, like MLM is just like it just touches a little bit of sales and can kind of teach you the disciplinary actions that you need to maintain client relationships, because I watch your Instagram and your stories and everything and you are so good at maintaining relationships with clients and again, like I know all that is learned and I just I love the way you do it. So, but again, like I think that it helps that you have this sort of like sales background. Tell me, okay, so you find out your prime day and you decide real estate, right, but did you just wake up one day and you and you thought about, like what can I do to still stay home with my children? Tell me about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so my husband was actually the one. His name is Blake. He was actually the one that was interested in real estate and, to be honest, like he's very entrepreneurial where and I don't even know if I said that right yeah it's the word, it's the word to follow along.
Speaker 2:But he has a very entrepreneur mindset where he's like constantly trying to find, like, the next big thing and, to be honest, a lot of times I'm like that's like okay, let's move on because it's you know. So I thought that this was one of those things and I was just not about it. I had no interest in real estate. And so he was, two weeks into his classes, started coming home with like all of the stuff that he was learning and I was like, wow, okay, this is really cool. And so, yeah, I think it was just learning what he was learning and I honestly feel like I'm meant to be in real estate.
Speaker 2:So it just happened, and I'm a firm believer that, like in my faith and like God allowed this to happen, because I'm here where I am now and the people that I've met, the way I've been able to like minister to people through real estate has just been really cool. So I know I'm here for a reason, but, yeah, that's how we got started. And then, honestly, when I made my first check after helping these people who desperately needed my help, I was like, wow, I mean, this is what, this is the potential, like the sky is the limit with this, then I love that I think it's, it's started.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's another way to serve and that's what, like, I want people to understand. It's like because I understand, like your husband having that entrepreneurial line, because I was the same way.
Speaker 1:Obviously, I was in law enforcement for 10 years and real estate wasn't even on my radar for the longest time. But the more I learned about it, the more I'm like this is a completely different career path that I can take and I'm still helping people, and that's what people don't understand. Sometimes you get those first time home buyers that are on fixed incomes, that don't have a lot of money but want to own a home, like for their children and stuff like that. But that's where real estate agents come into play. It's like we can help make that a reality because that's where we a good real estate agent like you comes in and says, ok, let's get creative here and we're going to figure out together how we are going to find you your perfect dream house.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's. I mean, I just think that what we do like I did a video on kind of like picking fun at people that like say that we're just like overpaid door openers, because that's literally what people think and they sometimes you like that you know in the way that they interact with you and kind of like their vibe that they put off, and so, yeah, it's like that's not at all what we do, like there's so much more that comes into you so much more work.
Speaker 1:So if you're listening and you are one of those people that ran their real estate agent ragged across town, just know that like it's more to just opening doors, it's more than just showing houses. There's hours and hours of paperwork Once you go under contract with the house. That's when the work is it just it. That's when you're like it just it. That's when everything starts hitting the real estate agents. Like that's when the work starts. Finding the house. That's the fun part.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and I feel like it's also things that they don't even know happen. Happen because a good realtor is not going to stress your client out with like every little thing that happens, and so I don't know. I just I went through a really rough week with an unappreciated client and, yeah, it like it kind of bumps you out a little bit because we do do so much for our people, so yeah, but I don't know those people that just kind of like trash talk. I think that if they were realtors they would be enjoying, they would be, they would totally understand and be loving their career.
Speaker 1:So I just think like I wish more people bought houses. I know I feel like a lot of the hate comes from renters who have never bought a house before, and I say that only because they don't know, they don't have contrast, they don't know the difference between a bad real estate agent and a really good real estate agent. My first house that I ever bought I bought with like a terrible agent Like I'm telling you, girl, like he was bad, he was, he was gross, he was like weird. And then my second one, obviously I use one of my best friends in San Diego and she was like amazing and you know, and like that's how we became best friends. Because, like there's such a difference and I feel like a lot of the hate.
Speaker 1:Those little comments that we see under like our YouTube videos and our Instagram videos are literally from people that one have never bought a house and two just think that yeah, we are just, you know, just door openers, overpaid door openers, which is not the case at all. And then now we're throwing motherhood on top of that. Let's get into that. I know there's a lot of moms out there because, like we are part of like real estate support groups for mothers and there's a lot of newer agents, so I want to talk to those newer agents. I want to have this conversation for them, because a lot of them are also moms, and that's the conversation I want to have today. So how are you doing this? Working at home to little ones? What is the process? Do you have a system in place to help you with this? Do you have, like, business hours? I'm going to let you talk about this one, because you have two kids.
Speaker 2:Well, I think it's hard. Like I feel, like I should say this upfront Like I have, I have my husband. Like my mom was a single mom I know you're a single mom. Like I know that it is very difficult for women who are doing this all on their own, and I have the benefit of having my husband granted I am, I am by myself a lot because of his job. But I will say like, first and foremost, that I feel like the piece that I have through my faith is like truly the only thing, and like having that to fall back on and truly leaning in on the Lord has really helped me to just I don't know deal with everything. Keep going. Yeah, it's like just one foot in front of the other, like knowing that he's with me, like he sees me, he knows me and that's just I feel like all the comfort I'll ever need. And so I think that has been the biggest difference, because I haven't always had that in my life and so I've truly seen like a massive difference in my life, my anxiety levels, all of that because I have been able to just lean in on the Lord whenever I start feeling that. But I do, I do try to like every day, plan out everything and time block. So I have like my journal and I, like you, know what I learned from MLM, which is like making sure that I have like a checklist of all the things I need to do. And so for the moms that are just barely moms, you know like just have a newborn or whatever and they're trying to figure out how do I even do this.
Speaker 2:So my first big month in real estate was my son was born in May, our first son and May of 2020. So, like COVID was just becoming like real for everyone. Yeah, everyone was just so like nervous about everything. I just remember being like, oh my gosh, I have no idea what to expect. Like I just don't know how I'm going to do it. You know we were showing houses with masks on and really not knowing that we probably shouldn't even have been doing that. It was just like insane. But we had six under contract that month and that was like my biggest month ever and I'm like literally fixing to have jet that's my son, obviously, and so I'm like fixing to start pushing and my clients like this is the house.
Speaker 2:And then, obviously, 2020 was insane with real estate. So I'm like I got to get this done. I'm really fixing to push my son out and I'm submitting a contract, so it was just insane. He didn't latch, so like that was stressful. He had tongue tie and lip tie, so I didn't know what I was doing. You know how it is when you're first time mom you have no idea what the heck you're doing. And then, yeah, and then every thought, everything set in whenever I mean there's there's only women listening to this, right, yeah, it's. If you're doing this, I have two male listeners and I don't.
Speaker 1:I think they're in Canada, but no, please, like girl, there's no filter on updated. Okay, there is no filter. I want to talk about because what is that?
Speaker 1:mom who needs to hear that, that she's not alone. This is literally a just a storm of a mess. And you got to remember, ladies, if you have a baby and you're working at the same time, sarah, like, were you having panic attacks where you crying because I remember I wasn't working when I had my daughter, I got, I got lucky and I was able to take a year and a half off, but like I was crying already from just the stressors of life, paint that picture for us. Like what was it like baby?
Speaker 2:like please be honest and open, like going back to that. It just kind of is a lot thinking about it. But, um, I mean, I just remember not knowing what to do at all, like with this tiny little baby. You know, like you, you have this beautiful little baby and you think like, oh, it's going to be like a fairy doll. You know it's going to be like playing house and having this little play doll and I know that sounds so ignorant saying it, but you know, we all think like that when we're kids and we have no idea what it's like. So I just remember coming home and this is where, like, if you're a dude, maybe just like close your ears or something, because I know it'll be fine.
Speaker 2:Sarah, they'll be fine. I remember, like you know, the excess bleeding that you have after you know you have your baby. I just remember being like all I want is a shower, like all I want is a shower, and my son was like, did not want, my husband would just scream bloody murder. And for me, like I couldn't even take a shower and I wouldn't do anything if my son cried, like being a new mom, I just made me so anxious. And so I remember like bleeding on the floor, having my son and trying to get him into the shower with me, and I like knocked his head on the shower door and he's just like screaming even louder. So if that, just like, if that settles with you and you've gone through the same thing, that wasn't where it like ended. It was just like it got so much worse with just the anxiety, depression, stress.
Speaker 2:I remember getting to the point where, um, you know like my son would start screaming and I didn't know what to do to help him and so I would just like start crying. And the best way for me to describe my feelings before I got help was like. It was like I don't even know how to explain it, but like fire in my chest and then it just like felt like it was going to blow my head off, like those cartoons where they just like their head blows off. That's how I felt. My face would get so flushed and I would start like hyperventilating. And so, yeah, I was finally like I don't know what's wrong with me, but I need help. And meanwhile I'm like dealing with all my clients still who have no idea what's even going on, because I'm like you can't share that.
Speaker 1:So you mean, while you have a baby who is not even allowing you to probably take a breath, take a break, shower, you have clients texting and calling you at all hours because, let's be real, they do. Usually my texts come in starting at 7am and you're dealing with being postpartum. You probably have some postpartum depression on board. You don't know what's going on. Your hormones are going crazy. That's what I'm saying. It's like cheese, like thank God, you have an amazing husband, and I like the fact that you said you had faith, because whether you are a spiritual or religious person, you have to have something to keep you going. You have to. You will not, in my personal experience, like in my personal opinion, you will not succeed as an entrepreneur if you don't have that, if you don't have any sort of religious background or spiritual background.
Speaker 2:Right, because one believes in something. So you're either believing in lies, either from, like, your past, because we've all been through stuff. I mean, I don't know I, that's. My biggest thing with, like my kids is, yes, I love this career, but I will always put them first because there are a lot of things that I wish were done differently for me personally when I was a kid, and so I feel like I don't know, I just I feel like you're believing in something and being a mom is very difficult, but being like a mom that's working working from home, even like a lot of us do, we're from home. You're either believing in the lies that were told to you, like when you were a kid, or you're building in you know the Lord or whatever people. But yeah, that's it's.
Speaker 2:It's really difficult to put into words, like what we as moms go through, especially when we are just trying to figure it out. So, like if you are a new mom, just know like you're not alone. Those feelings are very, very, they're not normal, like you should seek out some help to help you out. But all of us have gone through them and you're not weird, you're not crazy. It's like, legitimately, what happens after you have a baby. These are all natural hormones that we're just trying to like figure out how to let out and feel so.
Speaker 1:So you have a breaking point where you were like I give up, I need help, like I need to surrender everything right now. Did you have a point where you just you broke, where you needed to reach out, whether it was to a doctor, whether it was to your church, or to walk us through that girl because this, that's not who, the girl I'm talking to today you had to have done something to get yourself out of that dark place because you're one of the happiest women I've ever met. So tell us about, tell us about how you got out of that.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I went to my doctor and I was like I don't know what is going on with me. And so she this is like I tell this to every single person that's dealing with postpartum depression check your thyroid, because that's what she did for me and my thyroid levels, like I think you're supposed to be oh, I could be butchering this because I'm not a doctor and I forget things so easily, but I think I was supposed to be in like 0.4 and my levels were like in 40, like in the 40s, I mean, I was just way off. So she diagnosed me with hypothyroidism I've never even heard of that before kids and so I started taking medicine for that. She also gave me an antidepressant, but I'm more of like a naturalist, I would say Like I don't even like the idea of taking that medication, to be honest. But I have to or else my bodily function will literally decline. But I honestly did that, so that was helping. And then significant difference with thyroid medication, just to make sure you're on the right one, like if it feels doesn't feel right, go back and ask for a different dosage or whatever, but check that out for sure.
Speaker 2:And then I started taking CBD in lieu of antidepressants, because one I think I have a touch of like ADD that was undiagnosed. I think we all do in our rural but and having kids, it's just like you're constantly like trying to kill like 30 birds with one stone. But I started taking CBD and I feel like that helped me out so much. Honestly, I said I rely a ton on my faith, but I think that God also provides solutions to our problems and I feel like CBD is like one of the most natural ways for me to just feel calm, like I don't have anxiety with CBD and I feel like I'm able to focus way better. So I take CBD, especially when I'm starting to like ride the waves of depression. Like I didn't take it, I think, the past month I haven't taken it because I don't need it, but it's definitely something that has totally changed the game for me. But, girl, do you?
Speaker 1:think that, like, even though in those times of feeling like having a really good week, I don't need to take the CBD, do you think that, in order just to maintain, do you think that you should be taking it even when you're good, either, when you feel good, do you think that like you should could be consistent with it, or does it not matter for you?
Speaker 2:No, it doesn't, because, like for me, it's not. I really only feel like I need it whenever I'm dealing with a stressful situation that I know is not going to end until 30 to 80.
Speaker 1:Okay so do you just take it as needed, which is totally fine right If somebody wanted to take it, okay, perfect. I'm a big into the more natural stuff too, but I take these like homeopathic drops and it literally just helps with ADHD and anxiety, because I have extreme anxiety. I feel like again, like you made this, the comment that, like everybody in our career field has like a touch of ADHD, and you're not wrong. Every single person that I met in our brokerage I feel like it's ADHD.
Speaker 1:There's nothing wrong with that. I actually read a book from a doctor who made the comment that people who have ADHD are more likely to become very successful entrepreneurs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's encouraging to hear because I'm like I remember meeting up with an old friend of mine and I was like, yeah, I think, like I really feel like I'm going to be like okay, I feel like I might have that. And she was like, oh, I've always known that you've had that. I'm like cool, great Thanks for telling me that like 15 years ago. But I don't think it's something for us to be ashamed about. I just think what do you expect when we are like constantly like I see my phone and I'm like this while I'm on my laptop, while I'm watching movie, like how do you expect our brains to not have that? I mean, I think it's very normal in our society and like our lifestyles.
Speaker 2:So what I try to do to reduce that I'll touch on that for a second is I read this book and it's called the Ruthless Elimination of Hurry and we did it through our church and it's like it's a Christian book, but I feel like it's for really anyone because it's great. It touches a lot on like ways to distance yourself from the busyness of the world and like even talks about putting your phone on airplane mode at night and put your phone in a different room, on the charger, things like that to just really help you to like really get a good night's sleep, practicing solitude where you're like praying, meditating, whatever it is, being one with the earth, like walking and being outside. So I would encourage anyone who's, you know, struggling with distancing themselves from connection to the busyness of world to read that book, because it's super.
Speaker 1:I honestly do believe you are not.
Speaker 1:Also, you're not going to succeed as an entrepreneur if you do not set boundaries for yourself.
Speaker 1:If you are that type of person that works from the minute you wake up to the very second that you go to sleep and you leave no time for yourself, you were going to quickly burn out and want to quit your job.
Speaker 1:You're going to want to give up because, like you said, you have to find ways to take care of yourself and ground yourself. Put your phone on airplane mode, put it in another room, go take a walk outside, go be with nature, meditate, pray, take yourself out to eat, have that time with your family Again, especially if you have kids, you need to literally time block time where you are not going to be on your computer, you're not going to be on your phone, you are going to spend quality time with your people, because if you don't, you're going to resent yourself, you're going to resent your family and you're also going to want to quit this career. So what do you do? Because you are so busy, I see you as, like when I see you on social media again, like you're always so busy, you're always out with clients and stuff like that. What's your time look like for when you're with your husband and your kids?
Speaker 2:So I have, like I try to practice, a 6am to 6pm. That has not happened because it's just not really the reality of it. I do not disturb comes on at 6pm though. So if it's like an emergency, my clients know. Like you can try to send it louder. I don't know you can.
Speaker 1:However, you send it to where it's actually notifying anyway, kind of thing. Yeah, they have that feature.
Speaker 2:Whatever that I'm like, not big into technology, but they know that and I also feel like my clients, like I choose the clients I want to work with at this point because we have that. I'm trying to watch what I say to not sound like like a jerk, but like we know.
Speaker 1:but you're able to say that's awesome, Like you worked so hard to where, like if you you could set boundaries with your clients, because if you got a nasty client you're at the point in your real estate career. You be like you know what. This isn't working for me. Maybe I'm not the real estate agent for you. Good luck with everything. Not a lot of agents are in that position, girl, so I love that you are Well and I've had to fire.
Speaker 2:I think like I'm on my second client because of the lack of respect towards me, my kids and, yeah, like I could go into that story, but it's like too silly and crazy. But I think that the biggest thing, like for me and I feel like us as moms is like our kids are the most important, no matter what. And like, when I start feeling the mom rage of like you guys are too much, like go away, please. Like go away. I try to like put myself back in, like because we all know that you're just like oh my gosh, like why do you always start screaming when I'm on the felt? And like what is you know? We feel all of that and I feel like the biggest thing for moms is that we feel like mom rage is something that we should be ashamed of, but we all, we all feel it and no one wants to talk about it because we feel like it's going to make us into, like bad moms and it's that's not the truth. You're not a bad mom, you're just an overwhelmed mom. And I feel like my biggest thing and I'm like I'm getting to where I'm going with this, I promise, but my biggest thing is like I always try to put myself in my kid's shoes and I try to remember myself as a kid and like how I felt when my, when my parents, like you know, didn't know how to respond to my like needy personality or whatever, and they just like yelled at me or you know, it made me feel really small and insignificant to them and I just always felt so alone and so I'm very, very sensitive to that because of the way I grew up. So anytime I do that like I do a lot of apologizing to my kids, all the time Like, um, I'm always like okay, mommy was freaking out, sorry, mommy, is like a mommy for the first time. I'm trying so hard to do all of these things and I just, you know I'm struggling, bubba, and I'm sorry, like I don't know how to do this sometimes, and he's like it's okay, mommy, and they move on.
Speaker 2:But the other thing is is like with clients, I will straight up fire someone If they are disrespectful, like one of my clients was like you need to get your kids away from like away from your house. Basically, when I call, and I was like okay, I think we're good. Like I have children, you're calling me at six o'clock like, sorry, they're going to be in the house, I need me. And so I just told them look, I don't think that I'm going to be a good fit for you. Maybe find someone who doesn't have kids If that is important to you. So, and for some people it is like maybe it's triggering, I don't know. But I just feel like I'm in the point in my career where I can say no, my kids are more important to me than you and I don't think I'm the right fit.
Speaker 1:So have you ever had somebody make a comment where you had to bring your babies on a home tour with the client, because we've all been there I've had a drag live to home tours. Have you have? Has anybody ever made a comment about that?
Speaker 2:My most recent closing, which was like, just honestly, so like I've never I've never dealt with this type of person. I'm trying to keep be very hesitant on what I say. I just think it was a them issue. It was not a my kids issue. But yes, they like were totally fine with my kids coming and then all my kids did I mean, in my eyes they did wonderfully compared to how they normally, how they normally act. I'm like they actually did really well.
Speaker 2:But it's the the looks of disgust that I'm like I kind of go into like mama bear mode and I'm just like that just like makes me sick when people do that to women that are just trying their best. You know, it's very visible that I'm trying my best if I'm here with my kids, you know. So not many moms want to be places like that with their kids. But yes, I've had numerous times where I've had to bring my kids with me and I would say that 90% of my clients are good with it because they know me personally. These people were from out of state and they were super cool at first and then everything went downhill once we went under contract.
Speaker 1:So yeah, yeah, it happens, I've had to take Olivia to a couple home tours too, and it's like it's like a 50 50 chance that she's going to either behave or she's going to run around that house screaming like a little freaking monkey. It's like it's a it's a shot of the dark and sometimes, like most of the time, like you said, like our family is like, I feel like the clients that we personally attract, the ones that we find, match our personalities. There are other parents and their kids are on the tours with us and it's usually just like a big thing where everybody's just having a really good time, especially with the clients. They have their kids. Olivia loves playing with their kids, so it's usually a good time.
Speaker 1:Now, what I find I have the hardest time with certain clients is if they're a referral, like you said, from out of state. I don't know them, they don't know me. You know that, like there's no real connection there. Usually they're the ones that I have to live. Okay, I have to find a sitter or I have to call the nanny because you know they don't know my story. But that's the best thing about real estate and real it, or is that there's for every client there's a realtor out there. Like you said, like sometimes we're not the best fit. That's the best thing about real estate agents is there's so many of us. Go find your fit.
Speaker 2:If it's not me.
Speaker 1:I don't take it personal, but there is a lot of newer agents out there that have to have those clients and it's so unfortunate because, again, I've seen it in our real estate support groups where there's women that are like my clients, being so nasty and disrespectful but I haven't had a closing in six months, Like what do I do this? And that we can't tell them like, oh girl, fire them because that's that's you know, like that's their business. And unfortunately it does take a long time. I feel like how long did it, how many years did it take you to be able to set boundaries with clients and like not everybody has that luxury yet.
Speaker 2:So I feel like I'm very I guess the word would be privileged in that, like my job is, like it provides for us and our new lifestyle, right, but, like before I started real estate, I did not need real estate, like my husband was making enough. So I think that for me, though, like if I was totally relying on my income, which now I am, because we've like bought crap that we probably don't need and all of that stuff, but so in order to pay for that, like I have to work. But, um, I feel like for me it happened really quickly, and the reason why, like, is because I started out in 2019. Like, I mean, everything was really busy. It started going crazy in 2020, 2021. And so I feel like and it helps that, like my husband is in law enforcement, so like all of his leads come from that, and I would say to, like he's our lead generator, like I really don't have to do much of anything that we don't pay for leads. So I feel like it happened really quickly for us, but I just feel like it was because of the timing when we got in. So I know that for a lot of people it's really tough right now to find stuff I would say to those people that are really struggling is like are you every single day like, are you doing what you're supposed to be doing?
Speaker 2:Like right out, like reach out to 20 people, message people on social media, connect with people, go to the gym, talk to 10 new people? Like, if you're doing all of those things and you've written all of those out, like you know what you're supposed to be doing and you're doing them, then success is going to come. But if you're just kind of like chilling and being like oh well, when is it going to happen? I've reached out to two people today like that's not the way that it works and I think you just have to hustle. And I mean I was massively pregnant and showing like I don't even know how many houses per month. So everyone's different, everyone's situations are different, but regardless, it's a lot of work and I think we all have to put in the same amount of effort. So I would just say that is what helped me is figuring out what I needed to do and then doing it.
Speaker 1:Absolutely and like I think we're proof that you can make this career happen for you One. You just have to have consistency, you've got to be able to go network and you have to be able to put yourself in rooms with a lot of other successful real estate agents. I know that's what I did. I moved to a state where I didn't know anybody and but the one thing that worked for me is I networked my butt off, like going to events, going to lunch and learns, doing putting on my own little events and just putting myself out there. And, like you said, you got to talk to everybody. I was talking to girls at my gym like random girls. I mean, my thing is I, when I first got into real estate, I wanted at least 10 people, random people I didn't know. I didn't care who they were, to know I was in real estate, whether it was the cashier at H E B or a girl at the gym, you got to get out there. You got to, you got to network your butt off, yep totally.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so how, how does your husband play into this? Because he also he's very involved, so he's also working full time as a state trooper, but he's also really involved and I love the fact because I see you guys doing videos together and he's just supports every aspect of your business. So let's talk about that a little bit.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So Blake's personality, in a nutshell, is like he's an introvert, like 100%. When we were dating, I was always like you got to talk, like you have to talk to my friends, you have to want to be around my friends, yeah, but he was just are like guarded and he had his own friends and you know. But when real estate happened, it was like a whole new Blake came about. Like this guy talks to literally everybody. I mean, we at least have like oh, I don't know, we probably have like maybe like four leads a month from him just talking to everyone at work. Like he pulled over someone. I don't even know if I'm supposed to say this. He pulled over someone was like, hey, well, cool, like my wife does, sells real estate, just so you know, and like he's just constantly talking about it all the time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I do feel like he's super supportive. But I also feel like he has a lot of issue with me being on my phone a lot, which I'm like I don't know what you want me to do, because it's like you're bringing me all these people to help and so I have to help them. And I think for us it's been like communication and, like you know, that is one of his biggest things. Like he wants me to be present and so, like I have to remember that. So that's why we implemented I implemented the 6pm like put it on, do not disturb, and we're just very like communicative on.
Speaker 2:Hey, I'm on my phone because I'm texting this person back, because I don't want him to feel like my phone or even my kids, like I'm really trying to be sensitive to that Like mommy's on her phone because she's helping someone really quick, like right after this, I promise I will play with you, but actually doing it, because they remember all that. You said that you're going to do something and you don't. So, yeah, he's super supportive, but it hasn't it. It hasn't. What is the word like? When you are the saying, when you like start becoming more successful, like other crap starts feeling. That's kind of how I feel with like, that like when you're constantly on your phone, people feel like your, your phone, is more important, and so it's just all about like communication and making sure that you stay in check with that.
Speaker 1:I like that you say the comment, even with my daughter, like if I have to jump on a call and we are, say, at the park or we're on a vacation or whatever, I always, I always like tell her hey, I got to take this call, mommy will be on the phone for two minutes and then we're going to jump right back into the conversation and I don't know what we're doing. But communication is key. I feel like a lot of people and I don't even know, maybe, maybe there's people out there that just are constantly like texting and calling but not they're not telling their kids or their partner hey, this is what I'm doing. Give me one second.
Speaker 1:I don't want my daughter to ever assume that I'm working, because sometimes I'm not, and I don't want her to have it in the back of her mind. Like you said, like I'm always on the phone, I'm always on my computer. So communication is key. You need to let the other person know hey, this is what's going on. I just need to take this call because you don't want to ever assume, you don't want to assume that you're, that your husband knows like, hey, oh, she's on an important work call, because we don't, we don't know. You need to say something. It'll also save your relationship.
Speaker 2:I think we forget a lot about, like what's most important when we're making them the reality of it is the money that real estate brings right, because we do make really good money, we work really hard, we make really good money. So I feel like a lot of times we forget, especially like, if you don't have a relationship with God and you don't have that like okay, what's most important feeling or moral morals, you sometimes I do it I forget what's most important and that's my family, my kids, because at the end of the day, when we are on our deathbeds, we're not going to be like I sold 100 deals, like you know, in 2024. Like it's great. Like it's great to have goals and I'm I mean, I have like a goal of having 40 transactions. I'm looking at it right now like 12 books, all these things, but like I could die tomorrow and or I could get sick tomorrow and I just like want to bring that back into perspective.
Speaker 2:For moms is like this is our career and yes, it's so important, especially for single moms that are trying to provide for their families. But we have to remind ourselves that, like this is a job and our families are what's most important, so we have to put down our phones and have strict communication with our clients, that this is my family time. Pia here man is so good at communicating, her she's so good at boundary, she's so good at that. And so after she like put me in my place, like hey, I'm doing this and this with my kids, I was like I'm going to start doing that, like 100%, I'm going to be doing that. So I think it's so helpful.
Speaker 1:Okay, you're not going to come off as bitchy or anything, but you have to do that, and if that client doesn't agree with you, you have to say goodbye. No client, no amount of money is worth your sanity or your kids, and I had to learn that the hard way.
Speaker 2:It's just going to be the most miserable 30 days of your life like. Speaking from experience, I have dealt with people recently that, like anything you do, you can bend over backwards for them and they're unappreciative. They'll reword the things that you say to try to benefit and manipulate the situation. I've never in my life worked with people like that and, honest to God, it was the most miserable transaction ever. I cried, I called Pia and I'm like I don't even know what to do at this point. He, they like refuse to come to closing. It's just like so many things that we were calling their bluff on to. So I don't know. For me it's more important to keep my sanity because I know we're only on this earth for a small amount of time and I just don't want to deal with people like that. It's not worth it to me.
Speaker 2:So I would say to you know, moms that are trying to battle like should I take this client, should I not? We had like, literally we went and got, like I think, a couple of margaritas, maybe not margaritas, I don't know what we got. We definitely had like a taco fest after we fired our client. Like we had gone to the listing appointment, listed the property. He was being like disgustingly awful to us on the phone right after we listed his property and we were like we're good, we don't think that you're we're the right people for you. I think that I'm going to send you over the like the document yeah, documents for our agreement and we never had to deal with him again and we had like tacos and like enjoyed our night and like party and I don't know. There's something freeing about being able to be like I'm good, thank you, but yeah.
Speaker 1:And the one thing I like I'm sorry to cut you off, but the one thing I like about you is if you guys follow Sarah on Instagram and Facebook and all things, you, you have these and you you're good at putting content out with you and your kids and your husband and how like you advertise yourself as a mom as a working mom, so there's no surprises.
Speaker 1:There's no surprise. So somebody wants to come to you and they're like I love everything about this real estate agent, like I want to utilize her. They know what they're, they're signing up for getting into. So I feel like the more you put yourself out there, the more you put yourself out there and the longer you're in real estate, you're going to attract people who are more like you.
Speaker 1:Most of my clients I put I advertise myself as like law enforcement and military and a mom. So most of my clients are parents, military and law enforcement and I love that. You're, you know you advertise that. And there are some agents that are like sexy single women and they're just like let me help you and they don't have kids and and like I love the same. There's a lid for every pot, because you know we're the lid and our clients are the pots. Like go find somebody that you are more you know, like just more connecting with. There's so many real estate agents If you don't want to work, a mom or a working family, go find, go find a single guy, go find a single girl that has nothing but time on their hands, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah and I think people forget that, though that we're human beings.
Speaker 2:Like sometimes I feel like a lot of people think we're like work courses, like just now. Yeah, people want us to do and I think in the beginning you kind of feel like that too. You're like, okay, whatever I can do to get the deal and in some ways, like you said, like you have to make it work and you just learn from that experience, like learn that you know if you have to push through it which I mean there were a couple that I had to push through because we can't just let go of every client because they say one wrong thing, like that's the part of dealing with other human beings is knowing that they make mistakes and we have emotions and you have to have some sort of backbone. But, like for me, it's like when you start being, you know, this guy was like I don't even want your kids on the phone and I'm like okay, we're good because I have kids, so do anything about it. I'm not going to like take them over to the fire, the fire department, and like leave them there. So sorry.
Speaker 1:Like yeah, what are some pros? To women out there that think that like okay, like well, I want to be more present with my kids, because that was me. I wanted a career where I could be more present with my children, or my daughter, I should say, only have one. But what are some of the pros of it? Because I know I love the fact that I can take her with me to work if I need to. I know we said a lot of like cons. What are some of the pros that you found? Because you've been in this career for a while, so obviously it's working for you. So talk about some of the pros.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the pros are that it's not always bad, like I absolutely love my job or I would not be doing it. I truly feel like God has placed me in this role for reason. I mean I meet so many people that are struggling that I feel like I have an opportunity to bring joy into their life, pray for them. Like there's just so many stories I can share about people that I've gotten to meet and that I feel like have impacted my life and vice versa, so that has been like a great joy. My kids are with me 24, seven, except for Tuesdays and Thursdays, and even that it's like from nine to two, so it's not a big window.
Speaker 2:No, not a lot of time. So the thing for me is and I know every mom's different I know there are moms that like wanna be with their kids 24, seven they went to home school and there are moms that are just like, honestly, send them to school full time. I'm good, you know like we're all different. It doesn't seem like you love your kids any less. It's just me.
Speaker 1:No, there's no right and wrong, there's just.
Speaker 2:I mean, what you need, what that mom needs Exactly If you send your kids to school full time and you're able to stay home and you have your spouse or whatever, and you just feel like you are a better mom when you do have that one-on-one time with them. Like I've thought of doing that, because sometimes I feel like I am an explosive mom a lot of times when and again I'm just constantly apologizing to my kids. So I feel like for me it's so amazing, like I feel so blessed to have this job because I'm able to be with my kids as often as I want and that sounds so awful, but you know what I mean. Like you said, like you need your own.
Speaker 1:First off, like you're an amazing mom, like I see you out there doing both and you have that balance. And I know for anybody listening, it is gonna take time for you to find that balance. But the good thing about this career is like you learn how to do it over time to find that balance and you know whether you need to bring them, whether you need to take them to an open house with you, or. The good thing about this job, too, is like you can time block so you can have your for me. I don't tour after two. I can't. I have to pick up my daughter from school, so my time is from 10 am to two. That is my touring window.
Speaker 1:And the good thing about creating your own schedule is you can tell your clients like, well, I'm available Mondays through Fridays, 10 to two, you know. And then occasionally, if it's a client that I know needs a house, like as of yesterday, we'll tour on the weekends, but I most of the time keep my weekends for my daughter. But there are those slim occasions where, hey, like, you're gonna come with me to work in open house, olivia, or, you know, I have a client that needs to go see a couple homes, but it's not an all day event. My weekends are for my daughter, you know, but circumstance, you know, will dictate depending on the client.
Speaker 2:So yeah, I know, I just I appreciate you saying that I think like we're so hard on ourselves as moms are all doing this for the first time, you know, like we're just and it's a lot, so I feel like that is the biggest thing.
Speaker 2:The biggest blessing for me is like wanting to pour into my kids and make sure that, like they're gonna grow up to be good humans, cause I feel like I just, like I loved my mom my mom was an amazing mother, but I feel like my father just did not do any of that for me, you know.
Speaker 2:So like I know how it made me feel, feeling so insignificant and like I just don't want my kids to feel that, and so I love having that like one-on-one time with them as often as I, you know, want, and just being able to like work too try not to lose my mind when they're like running around in the background, but then like turn it off. Like turn it off and actually spend time with them after, like you said, two o'clock. If that's the time I'm done, I'm done and I get to like spend time with them. Otherwise I would be at a nine to five job and I would. It would just I don't even know how moms see my mom's like. I just don't. It's hard girl, we leave that's what we do.
Speaker 1:We leave our jobs cause we can't do it. So this is actually like has been so life changing for me, going from law enforcement into real estate. My nanny was raising my daughter. I wasn't being able to take her to school in the morning. I wasn't the one taking her to gymnastics, it was my nanny and God, like I know for a fact, god sent me her because my nanny in San Diego was literally the most just, perfect person in the world and I wouldn't. I mean, I still talk to her all the time and I tell her how grateful I am for her cause. I know she was heaven sent, but I wanted to be the one. When I was at work, sitting in my patrol car, I felt so guilty. The mom guilt was real and I wanted to be the one. That's like I want to take her to school every morning, I want to pick her up.
Speaker 1:So if you're thinking about getting into this career like, yes, you do get to set your time and your hours. You have to stick to them. When I first got into real estate, I was the yes girl. I was like, oh, you want to see a house right now? Okay, I'm on it Like you, but it took me four months and like multiple mental breakdowns to realize like, no wait, I left my nine to five job so that I could be more flexible and set my own schedule and set my own hours. So it's gonna be an adjustment and you're gonna learn your balance as you go, but it's being in this career field has, like completely changed my life.
Speaker 1:We still have our roller coasters of emotions, like I said, like working at home with screaming kids in the back makes me want to lose my crap. But, like you said, you have to apologize. I'm one of those moms too that I have no problem getting down to my daughter's level and be like I messed up, I shouldn't have done that and I'm sorry and I'm gonna work on that. I'm lucky enough to have like an amazing daughter where she always tells me mom, it's okay, I understand. Like she's one of those girls that like just makes my heart melt because, like last night I had, we had to have that conversation and she's just like mom, you're the best mom ever and I would choose you again in another lifetime. She literally said that and I was like, how did I get so lucky? Like I love that.
Speaker 2:Just be like if you want to see like the face of God, it's always through your kids, like the grace that they show you and just like the abundance of love that they give to you, even when you mess up, like even when you put other things before them. Because as much as people are like I, moms are like I would never put anything before my kid. If you're on your phone in front of your kid, you're putting your phone before your kid. So like we all do it.
Speaker 2:I just wish women would stop like trying to act like we don't because we do and bringing stuff to light like that is the only way that we can change, you know, for the next generation. And I just I don't know, I'm super proud of you because doing all of this like on your own and just being so successful in real estate and I don't know it's so seen, and like I know that you know being a single mom, like from seeing my mom and all the hardship she went through, like I know it's difficult. So I just want to say like you're amazing, you're doing an amazing job. You are, and I think, every mom who has the guts to do it alone and just keep doing it like keep putting one foot in front of the other is like your kids are going to remember, like they will never get all of the effort you put in.
Speaker 1:I wish that I could say that I've been like doing it alone, but honestly like and this goes out to any other working mom or single mom whether you're happily married, it doesn't matter. Like you, I don't do it alone and that's why, when I first got into real estate, I attached myself to other women. Like you, when you had your lunch and learn that was the day we met a year ago. And I purposely go and I meet all these other women in my career field because I can't do it alone. There's going to be times where you need to call somebody. You're having a breakdown, you need somebody to like be your hypo woman and stuff like that. Like I, you can't do it alone. You can't and I don't. I have so many mom friends in this career that I know that I can call at any time, just like you like you have your friends too. I feel like we you know you can't. You can't do it alone. You cannot isolate yourself in real estate. You can't.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because, yeah, it just won't. I mean you won't be successful at all. That's why I love the people that try to act like their crap doesn't stink, you know, and they're just like I'm the one, I'm the only one, you know it doesn't. It works out for maybe like a little bit and then, sorry, it doesn't. It just stops. Like humbleness takes you a long way. That type of arrogance is just it doesn't last very long. People read right through that. I do want to tell you something I was thinking about. I literally so.
Speaker 2:Another thing that I do just to kind of keep track of my thoughts is I write down literally everything. So, like last night, maybe even a few nights ago, I like ran to my journal, like in another room and was like I got to write this down. So, for moms that are struggling with remembering stuff and just dealing with so many different things, that's what I have to do. Like, if it takes you getting out of bed mid-dream to write it down, do it, because you will forget about it, and I think those things are important. So one of the biggest things for me that was change the game in real estate. For me this year this year, I'm tracking on doing way more than I've ever did and I'm so appreciative, like I owe it all. To like God 100%, because there's just no way I could have done this all by myself. But and obviously to like all of the other people that have just kind of helped me along the way.
Speaker 2:But my biggest thing was comparison. Like I was looking at people and what the craziest thing was is a lot of them are men, mostly because like my I mean Tracerano, just awesome dude like looked up to him. He was my team lead for a while and so I really looked up to him and so I had to stop comparing myself to the Traceranos. Like I had to stop, because men in general, like I could not compare what I was going through as a mother of two boys, with my husband being gone a lot to his story.
Speaker 2:So I feel like you know, we get so many amazing powerhouses come in and they start in their mail and they start telling us like these are the things you have with you, these are the things that like they're gonna make you win. I have had to write them down. Yes, take them. But then I've had to realize that this is coming from a well-intended man and I'm not trying to sound like sexist at all Like I 100% feel like and know that the value of men is there, like I mean they have a lot of value in our friend and our families and our homes and business. All of that so like not degrading their worth, their value, so it's different Girl.
Speaker 1:It is a different life. Men have completely different lives and I don't I don't I'll probably get some hate from men for this, but it's not the same. It's not like we are moms. Let's be real. We're kind of the primary parent, and then don't hate on it if you're a man listening to this. We are, because we're the primary parent.
Speaker 1:So if you, for example, I don't know you know, yeah, like, first off, I love that you said like you stopped comparing. Don't ever compare your chapter one to somebody's chapter 20. It's not going to work, you're going to give up on yourself and, if anything, it's giving you unnecessary stress. Anybody's out there doing it. Stop it, because, and like you said, like, a man's world is completely different from a woman's world, especially if you have kids. Have you read the book Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins? I haven't. Okay, it's about a Navy SEAL and he's a badass Navy SEAL. The guy does it all. But what I love about his book and I say love is like a little sarcastic way is he was married with kids and he got to do all these amazing things as a Navy SEAL, but he kept making the comment like he got to leave, he got to go out, the kids were safe with the mom.
Speaker 1:I want to know what her side of the story of all this is. To be completely honest, I hope that one day his ex-wife writes a book, because I want to know. Okay, what was her dreams? What did she put on hold so that this incredibly famous Navy SEAL and I'm not saying that he was bad for this, whatever, I'm glad we have a hero. He's great, but I had to put that into perspective because he talks about how you can do whatever you want in this life. You just go after your dreams and you do it. Well, what happens if we're a mom with kids? We don't get to always make video content and we don't always get to go out there and network our butts off and travel. We don't get to do things like that. We're stuck on a school schedule and dinner is by five. Like I'm sorry I can't go out and save the world past five o'clock. It's not going to happen. So I like that you say that.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, I remember the pressure of just being like you need to get out there, you need to go to events and I'm like, bro, I got my kids. What do you want my kids? So I had to put that in. I know it's so well-intended. I know that there are people that genuine, especially in real. Oh my gosh, there are men and women that truly care about your success 100%. But I have to because I started getting a little bitter, like you have no idea what it's like, da-da-da. But I had to just take it with a grain of salt because and men, if you're listening, maybe think about that we are so different. It's not that you're not valuable, because every aspect of who you are is valuable. That's why you were designed. But we also are so very different to where, like Megan said, we are the primary caretaker 90% of the time, unless you're a stay-at-home dad. Even when dads are home, you know the kid is like mommy immediately. It's a lot, yeah.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm saying. I 100% agree with you. Again, it has nothing to do or nothing against the male and especially the ones that work in our brokerage and stuff like that. We work with some very powerful real estate agents and I love the fact that we have this culture here at our brokerage that they want to see us succeed, and I love that they are very quick to answer our calls if we have questions. We get to see them speak on stages and stuff like that. They're great. But I feel like most of that advice is geared towards other men or women that don't have kids.
Speaker 1:We'll pick and choose what can apply to our life, and I love it. It's great advice, but there's not enough. I feel like I want to see more moms. I want to see, and that's why I follow, I go on Instagram and I find real estate agents that are top producers, that are moms, and I'm like I want to know what you have to say about us. I want to know how you plan your schedules out, how you plan tours around soccer and cheerleading games and stuff like that. I want to know that. I want to see more top producing women on stages speaking. That's what I want to see.
Speaker 2:So Shayne Nguyen Shay I don't know how to pronounce her last name she is an awesome powerhouse. She's also with Real, she has kids and she has a different take to what I'm doing. I'm wanting to homeschool, which is a lot of people would say that's crazy. I agree, I think it's crazy, but it's just what I feel led to do. So that's what I'm doing, and if I don't end up wanting to do it, then I'm not going to do it. So but she, she does things very different, which is okay. She loves her kids so much and just does things different.
Speaker 2:I don't think that she's going or has any plans on doing homeschool, but so she's another person to follow.
Speaker 2:If you're the mom that does not I'm trying to word this right because it doesn't mean what I think it might sound like it's meaning but if you're a mom that does not have that as your priority, which is like homeschool or being with your kids 24 seven, and you want your kids to be in full time childcare which there's nothing wrong with that I may end up doing that too. She is someone to follow because she is someone who is just like a powerhouse, who loves her kids and is also providing for them and I feel like she makes her time so intentional with her kids when she has it, like they go on trips with them, really often RV trips and all of that. So I think we're all so different and I hate when people like try shaming moms for doing what I'm trying to do and then they try shaming moms for what working moms do with their kids in full time childcare. It's the stupidest thing. And 90% of them are men, no idea.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's terrible, because, to each their own. We can mother our kids However we feel that we need to. And to anybody that has a comment about that, like what another mom is doing and another woman's doing with her kids whether it's homeschooling or taking our kids to school like, mind your own motherhood. Ok, to each their own. Our kids are loved, our kids are fed, our kids are happy. You know, like it doesn't matter. And, yeah, don't ever have opinions on other people's motherhood. Just mind your own motherhood. That's what I say. Yeah, yeah, all right, girl. Well, do you have any final word of advice for anybody out there that is thinking like they want to get into real estate as moms or anything? Is there any advice that you would have given yourself, you know, when you first got into this? Is there anything that you would tell little young Sarah I say young, but it was literally only a couple of years ago? Is there any advice that you would give somebody out there that wants to get into this or who is just getting into it?
Speaker 2:So I feel like the power of telling yourself good things is huge. So I have been through a lot in my life Like I feel like I'm an eight year old and a 31 year old's body, to be honest, because of just my life situations that have happened, and so, through that, like I've had a terrible amount of self, like negative self-talk and all of those things that like happened to me or that I went through. Like that doesn't mean that I can. I have to continue like living in that. And so recently I started CrossFit and like it is hard, and so I started like telling myself, like literally in my head, like you've got this, like I'm here for you, you've got this, like I know that you can do this because I've seen you do it before. Like just constant, like positive self-talk has like been a huge game changer for me.
Speaker 2:So do that. Write down like the things that you're proud of yourself for, because those are the things that helped me become successful 100 percent. And then do not compare yourself to other people men, women, whoever it is like do not compare yourself to their whatever you said day like 200. Yeah, yeah. So I just I feel like real estate is such an amazing thing, but you have to work at it. Like you cannot just get into real estate and just sit there and do nothing, like in 2021, maybe, yeah, like maybe, but you have to put forth the effort and like I don't necessarily love the whole hustle, like mentality of just like constantly working.
Speaker 2:That's not what I'm saying here, but what I'm saying is you do have to hustle, like you have to put towards, put forth some work. I say that as I'm like just kind of coasting right now, but I've worked really hard to get to this point. Yeah, so, yeah, I just everyone the best Like it's it's really worth it. It like that's. The one thing that I will say is like all the hard work is totally worth it.
Speaker 1:I like that you made the comment. I like that. You made the comment that you went to CrossFit. Now, when you said that a lot of women can think, oh well, she goes to CrossFit to keep in shape or whatever, parents is actually more than that.
Speaker 1:Real estate is hard. It is really hard and if you don't have contrast of, for example, crossfit is really hard to, so you get through this intense workout that just kicked your butt. You were, you didn't think you could get through the workout, but you did get through a workout. It's going to relate into your business. You're going to have some really hard days in real estate where you don't think that you're going to get through it, but you can always go back to that thought of like I just got my butt kicked in CrossFit. I climbed a rope for the first time. I went over some bars and I did it thinking that I couldn't do it. It's so easy to just see like you know what. No, I am going to get through this.
Speaker 1:I know what hard is and I think that's why a lot of real estate agents are big on like have you heard of the miracle morning, where you set your morning up for success? You need to read it. It's amazing. I think that you would definitely benefit from this too. So there's a thing called the miracle morning, and I know a lot of entrepreneurs who do it. They start their mornings off hard. So, whether it's an ice bath, whether it's CrossFit, like you're already doing, girl and that way it keeps their mind strong to where they feel they have the confidence to get through their business, because this is a really tough business for the first couple of years. And that's why I had to say I think a lot of women you're like oh, I go to CrossFit Most of the time. It has nothing to do with your weight. You're a young, beautiful girl, you're in shape, but it's a mental thing. Is it? Is that right for you? Is it? Is CrossFit just a mental game to where you can help? If anything, it just translates over into your business.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I've been a yogi for like I don't even know. When we moved to Katila, I started yoga like on YouTube, because there is nothing else to do. But I I have been a yogi for a really long time and so the difference between yoga and CrossFit is insane the amount of like mental strength that you have to have to like get through like even half the workout. So I started because, like I still want to like lose the rest of my baby weight and like feel strong and just challenge myself. And I will say like it does help me to like get through it, get through the whole thing, and realize, like, if I can do this, like you said, I can do anything, like everything.
Speaker 2:There's this book called Everything is Figureoutable. It really is all figureoutable. And once I started reminding myself, like you know, yes, I'm like a yogi and I feel like people at the CrossFit gym are like she's not going to make it here. But I feel like after I read that book, I'm like everything is figureoutable. Like what is the difference between me being like a yogi versus like these really strong, awesome athletic people? Like there's nothing except for my mindset, like will I actually do it? I was just going to say that girl.
Speaker 1:Your mindset is what is going to set you apart from anything, that you do anything. And yoga is hard. First off, I mean, I try to do yoga and I can't do yoga. It's really hard, but it's your mindset and that's what you need to give yourself as a good mindset. And one way to give yourself a more positive mindset is doing hard things. Do the ice bath, do the CrossFit, do the 75 hard.
Speaker 1:Do something to where you have that contrast, because if you didn't do anything whether you just you wake up in the morning, you go grab your coffee and you go straight to work and then, when things get really tough, you have nothing to fall back on. Like, for me it's boot camp, for me it's the Marine Corps. If I can get through boot camp, I can get through anything. And there is a moment in boot camp that I've talked about before on the podcast where that's my moment I look back to and I'm like, oh my God, I went through something that I didn't think I was going to be able to go through and it took me weeks and weeks but I finally did it. So when life gets hard as a single mom, as an entrepreneur, as anything I look back and I'm like, if I can get past that, I can get past this.
Speaker 2:Well, when you think about childbirth too, it's like, I don't know, girl, we can be started. I mean, I just feel like that in itself, like anytime. I'm like wanting to get a tattoo again and I'm like, oh, I'm a little nervous. I'm like, oh my gosh, I've literally popped a kid out of me, yeah, and had to recover from it. Or people who have had C-sections I don't know if you had a C-section or like vaginal.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I had a course to C-section, which was terrifying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's so hard, like no matter what your birth story is, it's not easy to give birth to a child. So I just feel like anytime I'm like, oh, this sucks. Like I'm running a mile, this sucks. Well, I also gave birth and part of it was very miserable, so if I can do that, I can do anything Exactly.
Speaker 1:So anytime I get a tattoo, I'm like this is nothing compared to childbirth, oh my gosh, I love it and again, thank you so much for having this conversation with me because I know it needed to be talked about. It's a unique experience being an entrepreneur and being a mom. It's a completely different life and a different lifestyle. If there's anybody out there that is thinking about joining real estate but they have kids or whatever, is it OK if they follow you on your social media and contact you?
Speaker 1:Yeah, totally, that would be awesome, perfect, and then what I'll do is, if you guys go to the show notes, sarah's Instagram will be there. She's one of the nicest girls. Please, if you're thinking about wanting to get into real estate or if you are struggling, you can contact me or Sarah. If you are struggling as a mom, being an entrepreneur and being in real estate or whatever, you can just come to us. We'll be your hype girl. We'll let you know. Hey, what you're going through is completely normal and there's a way out. There's a light at the end of the tunnel and there are resources. There's also ways of coping, like healthy coping. I don't drink wine every night anymore, like I used to. That's not a healthy coping style. Going to CrossFit is a healthy coping style.
Speaker 2:We can get you through it. I mean the week that I had slamming stuff on the ground and lifting heavy, I was like I could do this every day. It's just a way to process your anger feelings, whatever. So, yeah, totally.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sarah, thank you so much for being on the show. I appreciate you. Thank you for coming on and just being open and real. I love how real you are. It's amazing. So thank you so much.
Speaker 2:You're welcome. It was awesome to be on, so thank you so much for inviting me.