Struggling with the fear of failure? You're not alone. As I edge closer to 37, I've gathered a treasure trove of insights that I wish I'd grasped in my salad days. This episode is a heartfelt sharing of those revelations, starting with the saga of my daughter's gymnastics feats and the life lessons they've taught us both. Perseverance, learning from stumbles, and the sheer grit to keep going—these are the beacons that guide our discussion. Whether you're in your 20s or simply young at heart, join us as we explore the real texture of success and the myth of innate talent. It's a candid look at the pivotal missteps that have paved the way to where I am today, and I'm ready to pull back the curtain for you.
Ever wondered how to invest in yourself when every penny counts? I've been there—tightening the belt while dreaming big. In this heart-to-heart, I reflect on the ghosts of relationships past and how self-esteem played its part, laying bare my journey from complacency to active self-investment. Discover how mentors, books, and even free resources can fuel your drive to betterment. We'll traverse the landscape of personal development, with real talk on balancing the present moment with future ambitions. It's not just about the rush for success; it's about nurturing resilience, the kind that stands tall in the face of setbacks. This is where motivation meets actionable wisdom—and you're invited to the convergence.
Love what you hear? Wanna be featured on Updated AF? Shoot me a DM!
IG: Tx_Realestatedoll
Or
IG: UpdatedAFCollective_Podcast
Please don't forget to subscribe and leave me a review!
Struggling with the fear of failure? You're not alone. As I edge closer to 37, I've gathered a treasure trove of insights that I wish I'd grasped in my salad days. This episode is a heartfelt sharing of those revelations, starting with the saga of my daughter's gymnastics feats and the life lessons they've taught us both. Perseverance, learning from stumbles, and the sheer grit to keep going—these are the beacons that guide our discussion. Whether you're in your 20s or simply young at heart, join us as we explore the real texture of success and the myth of innate talent. It's a candid look at the pivotal missteps that have paved the way to where I am today, and I'm ready to pull back the curtain for you.
Ever wondered how to invest in yourself when every penny counts? I've been there—tightening the belt while dreaming big. In this heart-to-heart, I reflect on the ghosts of relationships past and how self-esteem played its part, laying bare my journey from complacency to active self-investment. Discover how mentors, books, and even free resources can fuel your drive to betterment. We'll traverse the landscape of personal development, with real talk on balancing the present moment with future ambitions. It's not just about the rush for success; it's about nurturing resilience, the kind that stands tall in the face of setbacks. This is where motivation meets actionable wisdom—and you're invited to the convergence.
Love what you hear? Wanna be featured on Updated AF? Shoot me a DM!
IG: Tx_Realestatedoll
Or
IG: UpdatedAFCollective_Podcast
Please don't forget to subscribe and leave me a review!
Email: UPDATEDAF@GMAIL.COM
XOXO, Meg
Check out the new site! UPDATEDAF.COM
Speaker 1:
Hey guys, welcome back to Updated AF Collective, the podcast. I am still your host, Megan Wirth. Today's episode is going to be on something that I have been thinking long and hard about and it needs to be discussed because, maybe because I'm about to turn 37, I'm just seeing things a lot differently, like kind of wishing that I would have done certain things or learned certain things a little bit sooner, and I took some notes on five hard truths that I wish I would have known in my 20s, and today we're going to unpack that. And if you are a young girl in your 20s or teens or whatever, maybe this is a good episode for you to listen to. I read a lot of books and most of these topics I've taken from books that I've read multiple different books and I'm just like if I would have known this sooner, I think my life would have turned out a lot differently. But I do believe everything happens for a reason and we are on our own life journey and life path and we're picking up these little tips and tricks along the way. But I'm just like if I would have known this, things would have been so different. Who knows, who freaking knows. But let's unpack it here.
Speaker 1:
Welcome back to the show, guys. Welcome to the updated AF Collective podcast, where we celebrate the power and resilience of women. Join me as we dive into inspiring stories, engage in meaningful conversations and explore topics that empower women from all walks of life. I believe that every woman has a unique strength within her waiting to be unleashed. Whether you're an entrepreneur, a leader, a creative, a caregiver or simply on your own personal journey, this podcast is for you. Together, we'll share stories of triumph, discuss strategies for success and provide a supportive space for women to connect and grow. Get ready for real, authentic conversations that ignite your inner strength and inspire you to chase after your dreams fearlessly. Welcome to the Updated AF Collective.
Speaker 1:
All right, five hard truths that I wish I would have known in my 20s. Truths that I wish I would have known in my twenties. Young girls, if you're listening out there like, take freaking notes, because this is this is some wisdom coming from an old person. Okay, 37 here in just a few weeks. And these are things again that I've read in books and it's just I've had so many light bulb moments, or I've heard it on another podcast, or whatever the case is, and I've really just adopted these ideas into my life now and it has helped me tremendously. It wasn't like an overnight thing. These are new concepts that I had to kind of like implement into my daily life and try to like build that habit of like reminding myself of these things.
Speaker 1:
The first one, something that I fucking tell my daughter every single time she is at gymnastics. I have a six-year-old and she's a perfectionist and it drives me crazy, but again, I have more life experience than her. So then I look at her throwing a fit on the gymnastics floor when she's unable to do her routine or do what she needs to do. She's really big into gymnastics and she's constantly comparing herself to the other girls. She has practice on Monday nights and there's these high school girls there that obviously have been practicing their entire life, probably starting at my daughter's age that are amazing and I watch them and I'm just like, oh my God, that just looks painful but it is so cool. So when my daughter can't do it, I have to remind her of this.
Speaker 1:
Nobody is born knowing how to do things. Nobody is born knowing how to do things. Failure is inevitable. And what I tell my daughter is when you learn to wrap your mind around failing, failing and realize that it's part of the process to becoming successful. You are going to get over your little perfectionism attitude a hell of a lot quicker when you realize like you are supposed to fail. It is a part of the process. Nobody just comes out of the womb knowing how to do things, and if you do, that's freaking weird and you're a unicorn.
Speaker 1:
So what I remind her all the time is I'm like trying to like bite my tongue because I get frustrated with her because she will literally like throw herself down the ground because she can't do a backbend or whatever the thing is. And I remind her of like you know, you're new to this, you're going to fail, and the sooner that you realize that you are going to fail, the sooner you can pick yourself back up and continue to move forward. And I remind her, like you know, you didn't know how to ride a bike, you didn't know how to swim, but you practiced and now you're great at it. And that's what I have to remind her. I have to put her back in that headspace of like oh yeah, I am new to this, I'm new to this activity, it's going to be hard, it is supposed to be hard, that's what I always tell her. I'm like it is supposed to be hard. As I'm like yelling across the freaking gymnastics studio, I'm sure the parents are like what the hell's wrong with this woman. But like I yelled at her, I'm like it is supposed to be hard, it's not supposed to be easy. If it was easy, you're weird and a unicorn and you should probably just go straight to the Olympics. And I have to remind my own self this is something I learned in my twenties that failure is a part of success.
Speaker 1:
Without failure, you do not have success. Look at all the people in the world that are very, very successful. Oprah, my queen, I swear If this woman ran for president I would run the campaign because she is a goddess. Anyway, she knows what it's like to fail consistently, like scary failing, like fired from jobs, trying to start from nothing and build herself up to one of the most richest women in the world. You have to fail in order to learn what works. You need that contrast. I needed that contrast too.
Speaker 1:
Getting into the military and law enforcement, I originally sucked at everything, but over time I got better and I'm like, oh, okay. As I'm failing, I'm like, okay, don't do that again, Don't do this, Don't do that. Finding the way that works, finding the avenue of approach that is working, and keep going with it. I don't know who needs to hear this. If you're trying something new, or you're trying to change your life, or you're trying to change careers, leave a toxic marriage, whatever it is you're trying to do write a book, start a podcast it's going to suck. You're going to fail, but you know what? You're going to get better at it.
Speaker 1:
When I first started my podcast and I know it's not that old, but I let myself suck I allowed myself to be shitty. I allowed it. I don't care, it's going to suck, it's going to be awkward, it's going to be bulky, it's going to be, you know, just weird. I didn't know how to interview people without sounding like I'm interrogating, interrogating them for a crime, because that's all I know. I was a cop for 10 years and the more I do this and the more consistent I do this, I'm getting a little bit better.
Speaker 1:
And even if the podcast takes off, or when the podcast takes off later in the future, I'm keeping all of these shitty episodes right here in one place, so that, years from now, a girl who wants to start a podcast, you know, but is too afraid. What if it sucks? What if the first year of episodes are shitty? I'm really like, go back and listen to mine. Go back and listen to how crappy mine were. It's all going to be there. I'm not taking any of this down because I'm working on it and I can only get better. I'm allowing myself to fail and I tell my daughter that allow yourself to fail, Try not to throw a pity party. But she's six, you know she is still developing her brain, so she doesn't understand. You know self-control, but I have to remind her. Like you, you're going to go in here with the mindset of like, yeah, it's not going to be pretty, but I'm going to walk out of here a little bit better. Just like a lot of these episodes, it's not going to be pretty, but every time I publish one it do get a little bit better. So that goes into my second hard truth Nobody cares, Nobody cares, Nobody cares. Nobody's looking at you, judging you. I mean, nobody cares.
Speaker 1:
I think when I first decided to get into real estate leaving my career after 10 years of law enforcement, selling my house in San Diego, picking up, moving to Texas and getting into real estate I think I did have. Initially I was like my God, like if I fail, everybody's going to be judging me. Everybody's watching. They're waiting for me to fail. They're waiting for me to like see what I'm going to do next, Like what is how you know? Like I went in with that mindset of like, oh my gosh, like who the hell am I to go take this giant leap into a whole nother life at? I think I was like 35 at the time. Who the hell am I to do this? Everybody's going to watch me fail. And let me tell you, nobody cares. Nobody's watching me, besides my mom, Pretty sure, but I mean nobody really does. Nobody's watching you at all times. Everybody has their own problems. Everybody's watching themselves. And then everybody's worried that you're watching them. You're worried about them watching you. Nobody's watching you.
Speaker 1:
When you get over yourself, like I had to get over myself, it gives you permission to fail. I had to get over myself. It gives you permission to fail. It gives you permission to put yourself out there and to suck and to just do. Just do the damn thing. Do whatever you need to do and remind yourself you're not the center of attention, You're not the center of the world, which, again, is a great thing. It's not a bad thing. It gives me comfort, knowing that I'm not the center of everybody's universe, because it allows me to just continue to grow, to step outside of my comfort zone as many times as I need and as many times as I want, and sometimes I fail, Sometimes I don't, and guess what? Even the times that I have failed, nobody has said shit to me, so not a single thing. It's crickets over here. So with that one sorry, I'm looking at my notes here I wrote everything down on my iPad, Okay. So with that one sorry, I'm looking at my notes here I wrote everything down on my iPad, Okay.
Speaker 1:
The third one relationships require effort. I was so guilty of thinking that the other person was supposed to bring me happiness and to make me happy and to do everything for me, to literally just take care of me and stuff like that, that I could just sit back and just let it happen and just receive all the love and everybody's supposed to please me. This was like 22-year-old, 23-year-old Megan back when I was active duty in the Marine Corps. 23-year-old Megan back when I was like active duty in the Marine Corps. I mean, I looked adorable. I had long brown hair, I was so fit because all we did was run and all we did was obstacle courses and we usually had like 60-pound packs on our back. We were running up the hills of Camp Pendleton. If you know Camp Pendleton or even Southern California, it's all hills and it's all like rocky landscape and we used to run up those things with like ammo cans, um, in boots by the way, we don't, we very rarely wore tennis shoes and stuff like that. So we would wear uniforms with our boots and our 80 pound pack with ammo cans full of rocks, just to kind of simulate like an ammo um, you know just how was it called Like an ammo run, so say, like somebody needs ammunition. You know we're running it up the mountain to get it to that Marine that's at the top. So we would simulate trainings like that. But we were doing it all the time. So I looked great and I let that go to my head. I thought everybody was there to please me.
Speaker 1:
I was so complacent in all of my relationships up until this point. I was so complacent in all of my relationships up until this point and I think it comes down to self-esteem. It comes down to, yeah, I loved the way I looked, but really I was so messed up inside, so messed up, so depressed. I didn't like who I was. I liked how I looked, but my outside didn't match my inside. So I would meet these great guys oh my gosh, Like some, most of the most, of the mazingest man. Sorry, I need to stutter, I need some more coffee, but I would allow them just to kind of treat me like they were always coming over to my house. I never made the effort to go to theirs unless I just wanted to get off base for a little bit. But I would like, um, I would tell them, like what I wanted to do.
Speaker 1:
I remember this poor guy I was dating when I was active duty. He was living in LA and I like destroyed his birthday because I didn't want to do anything that he wanted to do. He even made a comment. He was like it's my birthday and I'm like, well, I don't want to do that and I kind of ruined it. And looking back, I'm like I was just a walking red flag. I didn't care about the person I was with, unless they were making me happy.
Speaker 1:
Obviously, I know now it takes effort and work on both parts, and complacency kills more relationships than bad communication. If you, I mean, think about it, you can have bad communication all day, but the minute that you stop trying to date your partner, please your partner, make your partner happy, in, in, in, both people. Both parties of the relationship need to be doing that. But the minute one stops, the other one gets resentful and can actually just start hating you because you're complacent. That's how I was, very freaking complacent in most of my relationships.
Speaker 1:
Another one that I learned I think we're on number four. Number four is invest in yourself, not financially. Well, some, I guess it can be taken financially, because I wish that I had a life coach when I was a young Marine. I don't think life coaches were like a big thing back in the early two thousands, but I could have definitely benefited from having a life coach or some sort of therapy, um, or even books. I wish that I was a bigger reader because I had a lot of time. I mean, there was a lot of downtime in the Marine Corps. We're, we're always gone, but there was those times where we'd be out in the middle of the desert or something in the middle of nowhere for months no showers, hardly food MREs was all we had to eat and, uh, there was times where I could have just sat there and just read a good book, like a good self-development book. And that's why I say invest in yourself, because books aren't investment. Business coaches aren't investment. They have an ROI, a return on investment.
Speaker 1:
I've learned so much by reading and having business coaches and, yes, books can get expensive, but you can go to a library and get them for free. Business coaches are expensive but if you find one that you really, really love and you resonate with and you just think that she's the best or he, whoever it is, resonate with and you just think that she's the best or he or whoever it is, and you just finance it PayPal has financing, I believe Venmo has financing. You can always get a loan. I do believe that you will make that money back because what you learn is absolutely what I've learned so far from these coaches is just been amazing.
Speaker 1:
It has been just one of those experiences that you know like I spent $5,000 on one business coach and what I've learned from her I've made that back within just a few months because she had this business mindset and I was like I need new ideas. I felt stagnant as a real estate agent and I was like what else can I be doing? What else should I be doing? I'm out of ideas. You don't know what you don't know. So I got a business coach and I spent $5,000 on her. She was worth every single penny because what I've learned from her. I was like I had all these light bulb moments. I'm like, why didn't then I implement it into my business and I get more clients. It's just, it's it's such a good way to invest in yourself so that, yeah, I guess it is like a financial thing, but there's other ways to invest in yourself without having to put a bunch of money into it.
Speaker 1:
So, a lot of single moms out there, if you're on a budget, go to the library, check out some self-development books. There is an app. There's a library app that lets you rent or check out audio books from your phone. So if you don't have a lot of time to read, I do 50-50. Sometimes I read, sometimes I do audio, because I'm always driving, I'm always in my car, so I need something on Plus it's how I start my day either a motivational podcast or an audible book, because I need something on as I'm getting dressed, to kind of pump me up, motivate me, get me in the mood to just have this business mindset, like going into work and be like, yes, like I'm ready, I'm motivated. Here I come, Another one, and our last one time is precious.
Speaker 1:
I, I used to live my life this was a big one for me back when I was law enforcement. I lived my life Like, how can I explain this? I I knew life was. You know, obviously we're all limited here on earth and stuff like that too but, um, I just never thought about the future. I think I always lived for the day or two day. I was living in the moment, moment by moment, minute by minute, which is great, right, they always say live in the moment, but there's a certain I think how should I put this? I honestly feel like we need to be thinking years ahead. I think there's a good balance, maybe. Maybe there's a good balance, Maybe, yes, when you're in a great moment, live moment to moment. But I never thought about my future. I never thought about investing in myself. I never thought about retirement funds, stuff like that.
Speaker 1:
So time is precious and if you're not setting yourself up for success in the future and planning on living to your 100, you're doing it all wrong. You have very limited time to get these things done. If you know what I mean, I'm talking like whole life insurance, stuff like that. We are very limited, we're all I mean. I'm almost 37 and I'm just now learning about finances and setting myself up for like a secure future and stuff like that which I'm working on now. But I have a lot of time to make up for that.
Speaker 1:
Investment funds, index funds for my daughter, because I'm trying to get her set up too. But I mean better to start now and stop thinking, oh my gosh, if I would have done this like 20 years ago, I would have been so much better off. But no, like you need to start saving and looking at your future as something you need to really take seriously so that your future self will thank you. I want my 80-year-old self to be sitting very comfortably next to an infinity pool in my six-bedroom four-and-a-half bath house somewhere I don't know where. But I want her to look back and be like oh my gosh, like thank you for taking care of all of that, squaring it away, working so hard, getting those financial, everything just in order. I want to do that for her. I want to do something today that's going to make my future self say thank you, Thank you. That's why I started writing the book too, I feel like, because, like the book took me forever just to wrap my mind around and then I was like when am I going to start it? But I know my future self was like going to thank me for just starting starting it last year, because I know it's going to do a lot of good and I know putting it out there into the world is going to help a lot of girls and have a lot of women with trauma and stuff like that. And I'm trying to do so.
Speaker 1:
I guess it's kind of mixed, so number five is going to be a little bit mixed. Yes, Understand that time is precious. Time is at the essence when it comes to planning for your financial future. But also do something today that your future self will thank you for. I wish I would have known that in my twenties. And I mean we can sit here. I have like a huge list of things that I wish I could have learned or should have learned, but you know what, Like I said, like we can sit here and what if the situation's all day? What if I would have done this? What if I would have done that? But the good thing about you waking up this morning is you can start right now. You don't have to wait anymore and stop saying I'm going to do it next week, I'm going to do it tomorrow or whatever. Just start right now. It's that easy, guys. It's just start it right now and then, that way, next week, your future self from next week will even be happy. Like wow, we just, we just tried to like we just wrote a book. You know, we just like we just went to the gym for five days straight in a row. Like wow, Like great.
Speaker 1:
I'm constantly thinking about my future self, and maybe that'll help put things into perspective, for you is always thinking about what is she? What is she going to want? What do I want for myself? Now's the time. If you woke up this morning, get your ass up, start it today. No more excuses. No more excuses because you're 20, you know, 20 years from now, however old you're going to be in 20 years, she's relying on you right now, in this moment. That's what I have to tell myself too. It's like I don't want to just be living this regular life day in and day out. Anyway, guys, I hope you enjoyed today's episode. I hope it gave you a little bit of motivation, things that you know, like some some hard truths that maybe you didn't think about, that you're now having those light bulb moments of like oh yeah, I should be doing these things too, or I've never heard that before. You know, start implementing those things into your life.
Speaker 1:
Okay, If you guys are getting any value, if you like the podcast, if you want to share it, if you want to rate, review and follow. That helps me out tremendously, Please. If you share the podcast on your social media, please tag me Um, you can, and the links are below for my Instagram updated AF collective is the. Um. Is the. The. The Instagram for the podcast TX underscore real estate doll is my personal. I predominantly on my personal one Cause I mean I'm posting motivational content as much as I can, stuff that I'm doing with my daughter. If you want to see our adventures, if you want to get to know me a little bit more doing with my daughter, If you want to see our adventures, if you want to get to know me a little bit more, I highly recommend that you follow me on my personal. The updated AF collective podcast is more for um the.
Speaker 1:
All the girls that have been on the podcast are there. So if you're looking for them, they are there. Just go into. Like everything's public so you can go into like who I follow. They're all all the girls are there and you can give them a follow. You can reach out to them Again. This is the whole pop. The whole point of the podcast is so that we all get connected with each other. So anyway, like I said, if you share the podcast episode or whatever, please tag me in it. So I would like to see who the hell is listening. I know you're out there. I have 2000 downloads. I know you guys are listening, but I feel like nobody's like tagging me and stuff. It's happened a couple of times, which I definitely appreciate. But please tag me. I want to see who you are. I want to follow you back. Let me know how you found the podcast. Okay, I love you guys so, so much and I will see you next week. All right, Bye.
